View Full Version : Back Again and a Venting of Financial Frustration
Sorry to start my first post here with me unloading my frustrations, but that's what motivated me to find this forum again. I was a not-terribly-active member on the old forum.
I am 32, I have a 9-5 office job that pays okay for South Carolina ($35,500/yr), and in the last three years I have bought a house, gotten married, became a parent to an autistic stepson, and now my wife is three months pregnant with kid #2.
Financially, things were fine until mid-March. We had cut out unnecessary services like cable tv (replaced with Netflix) and expensive cell phones (went from 2 iPhones for $150/mo to 2 prepaid Androids for $65/mo). The only debt we had was our mortgage and my car payment. All the credit cards were gone and the small loan I took out from my credit union was just paid off. We even get an extra $400/mo by renting out our spare bedroom.
My wife is a graphic designer by trade, but she hadn't had much luck finding work in that field so she was working 20-30 hours a week doing customer service at a call center for $11/hr. She hated it, but we needed it to get by.
Two weeks after we learned we were pregnant I woke up shivering with chest pain. My wife took me to the ER and I ended up staying in the hospital 14 days for a severe staph infection that my doctor says I could have died from. Me being in the hospital disrupted our lives greatly. My employer handled the situation greatly; I ended up losing most of my vacation days, but they worked with me. My wife's employer denied her FMLA request and being that she had a lot of hormones going on with the pregnancy she resigned from her job.
Now our income is down by 40%, I have a $38,000 hospital bill, (I'll have to pay around $3500 for my deductible and out-of-pocket), and with our insurance we must prepay the $3,000 or so for the birth of our child in November, so every monthly OB/GYN visit is over $400.
We're one month behind on the mortgage and two months behind on the car payment. We have always been frugal with regard to cooking at home and not spending much money on non-essentials, but up until a week ago I hadn't eaten a single meal out since the hospital stay. Last week, my oldest friend and his girlfriend flew down from Pittsburgh to spend the weekend with us and we didn't want to tell them about our financial troubles so we went out to eat three times with them. It was only around $120 total, but that was still a large chunk for us right now.
I'm trying to find ways to increase income, as I think I've cut expenses about as far as I can from reading YMOYL, The Simple Dollar, Dave Ramsey, etc.
I fill out applications for every part time job I can find, my wife is trying to do freelance graphics design work through elance.com and odesk.com. I even tried going door-to-door painting street numbers on curves, but nothing we've done has produced any results other than us being out the $30 of supplies.
I want to be able to provide for my family, but I just can't figure out how. I'm hoping that someone may be able to point out a way to help increase income or to find another way to cut expenses. Right now I have a half tank of gas and enough food until I get paid again on the 15th, but our checking account is currently at -$7.
Current Net Monthly income: $2476 ($2076 net salary, $400 from renter)
Debts: $1030 ($715 mortgage, $315 car payment)
Utilities: $275 ($35 water, $200 electricity, $40 DSL)
Subscriptions $105 ($65 cell phones, $10 Netflix, $30 elance.com)
Medical $680 ($430 OB/Gyn, $30 co-pay, $120 medications, $100 hospital repayment)
Transportation $300 ($300 gas, insurance is deducted from gross income)
Food $220 ($200 for us, $20 for the dog)
Total monthly expenses $2610
Right now I'm -$134 per month and that doesn't take into account replacing the 2 flat tires I've had in the past three weeks, accounting for non-monthly expenses (clothes, property taxes, etc), and the fact that our renter is continually two weeks late on her rent. I'm in base survival mode right now eating cheap junk and selling anything we don't desperately need. I've actually had to break down and take out a payday loan a month ago to avoid even greater overdraft fees. I feel at the end of my chain and constantly depressed which causes my wife and I to be edgy around each other and argue even though we're in agreement on lifestyle and budget.
With an 8-year old autistic son and a baby on the way we need to find a way for my wife to work from home. She's trying with freelance graphics work and designing wedding invitations, but the little she's made with invitations so far has gone right back into supplies. I've already sold most of my non-clothing possessions. I don't know how much further I can stretch myself.
Sorry for the pity party, but I really needed to vent somewhere that's mostly anonymous.
In trimming the budget, can you sell the car to get rid of the car payments? Do you have another means of transportation? Drop the DSL and all subscriptions? Can you apply to the hospital foundation for a reduction on the balance? Any way to decrease the auto fuel? Is that a tank a week you are using?
Reyes,
We live in a typical suburban development where two cars are pretty much a necessity. We actually had just the one car for six months until last month when my in-laws purchased a used 2000 Camry as a gift for my wife. Selling my car would be very difficult to do as I do not have the title and the closest bank that holds the title is four states away.
I am unwilling to drop internet service as both I and my wife need it to pursue freelance work. Driving back and forth to the library located 12 miles away is impractical, and we do not have a home phone so downgrading to dialup would not work. I could drop Netflix, but between my wife, son, and I it is used at least 90 hours per month which makes it the most cost effective form of entertainment possible right now.
How would I go about applying to the hospital foundation? Most of what I have to pay is my $2000 deductible through my insurance company with the rest going to the hospital.
I wish I could find a way to decrease auto fuel. We normally visit my mom located 50 miles away once per week, but we're not doing that right now. Everything else goes to my daily commute and my wife taking our son to the park/grocery store/library 3 miles away once a week and to her every-other-week doctor's appointments. I go through 1.5 tanks of gas each week.
Thanks for the suggestions. I may have to even cut out the stuff I'm justifying above. I don't use my cell phone terribly often. Maybe I'll pay $10 to transfer my phone number to Google Voice and stop using the actual phone for a few months.
Which car gets better mileage? Since it looks like you are doing major miles, could you take your wife's car if it gets better mileage. Personally, I would sell the car with the loan and get something I could afford outright, but that may not be an option for you now. You either are driving a whole lot of miles, or you have a car with bad gas mileage.
The electricity bill stuck out at me. I pay about 100 a month, and that includes a hot tub. The hot tub itself is 25-30 dollars a month. Are you using A/C? Could you get by with fans? Could you have romantic evenings and turn out the lights and use candles? Could you air dry your clothes? Could you use cold water to wash them? What else are you using electricity for?
What other skills do you have that you could use to start a side business? What about delivering newspapers? Can your wife take in children for day care?
I am with Reyes on this. Even if it is difficult, I would sell the car. Isn't there some way to get a replacement for the title? It sounds like you are saying that the bank has it. Why would the bank being four states away be such a big deal? I guess I don't understand that. Going back to one car, in this case the one you own free and clear, would solve your cash flow problem immediately and reduce the number of times you will have expenses like tire replacement. I know it is a PITA. We have had only one vehicle for our family of six for a while now and we are getting a second car (gift from my parents) this weekend, but it is less stressful than a big budget shortfall. The maternity payments aren't forever and when they are done you can save up to buy a second car or pay off your hospital bill faster.
Best of luck! It sounds like a stressful situation!
With the hospital call the accounting department and ask for a hardship application so that you can make smaller payments - they'll deny or they'll lose the paperwork but keep applying. I had an ER visit while out of state including an ambulance ride. We just kept after them and kept after them because our business had declined by a huge percentage. It took 6 months but we got the payments down to a reasonable amount.
Thanks for the reply herbgeek.
Both cars get roughly the same mileage, 29mpg highway for the Camry and 30mpg for the Scion xB.
I'd happily sell my car. It's worth around 10k and I owe 11k on it, so I'd have to cough up the extra grand, find a buyer who would be okay with giving me cash and not getting an immediate title, and then figure out a way to save a grand or two for a beater. I just don't think it'll happen.
The electricity was an average. In the past year it has ranged from $107 to $416 at the coldest part of winter. We do open the windows and use fans in spring and fall, but my house is one of those cheaply made 150k development houses and right now my house in a humid South Carolina summer is 95-100 with no AC. I only put the AC down to 80 during the summer and the heat only up to 65 during the winter. We have three adults and one child which means we have four computers and a lot of hot water, laundry, etc. It is against our HOA to have a clothesline. We do use only cold water to wash clothing. Other electricity use is from our chest freezer. There isn't much in there, perhaps I should just fill up our over-the-fridge freezer and unplug the chest freezer for the rest of the summer.
As far as skills I have done computer repair for retail shops and at my college in the past, but I don't have any certifications. In tax season I work part time at a local H&R Block. Most of my skills are social, marketing, and customer service related, but since I don't have an actual degree I don't know how to monetize them.
I am with Reyes on this. Even if it is difficult, I would sell the car. Isn't there some way to get a replacement for the title? It sounds like you are saying that the bank has it. Why would the bank being four states away be such a big deal? I guess I don't understand that. Going back to one car, in this case the one you own free and clear, would solve your cash flow problem immediately and reduce the number of times you will have expenses like tire replacement. I know it is a PITA. We have had only one vehicle for our family of six for a while now and we are getting a second car (gift from my parents) this weekend, but it is less stressful than a big budget shortfall. The maternity payments aren't forever and when they are done you can save up to buy a second car or pay off your hospital bill faster.
Best of luck! It sounds like a stressful situation!
I don't get the title from the bank until the car loan is paid off. If the bank was local, I could have the buyer come to the bank branch where he would pay the bank, I'd add in the difference, and then he could get the title. But since I don't have the 1-2k gap between what I owe and what I can sell it for I don't think I have that as an option right now.
First of all, my sympathies. You have a tough row to hoe right now...
When I went through a drastic reduction of income, it was going to be complicated for a variety of reasons to get a second job. But I did find that I was surprisingly successful finding dribs and drabs of money--$20 for opening a new checking account, $50 for testing a new computer game, money here and there from doing consumer panels, babysitting, online surveys, Amazon Turk (online microtasks). None of it was much, but it added up to enough to get me a little breathing room. The person who writes The Non-Consumer Advocate blog writes about this kind of thing often. Since you haven't been able to find a regular part-time job, maybe you could buy yourself a little room with this kind of thing. I knew of someone who between jobs rented herself out for $10/hour for whatever kind of help people needed, anything from cleaning houses to babysitting to designing flyers to driving people to the airport.
The other thing I would just encourage you to think about is being open and "putting the word out" that you are looking for this kind of thing. I think it was the author of the Tightwad Gazette who talked about the power of "putting the word out" in terms of finding what you are looking for (ie, I want a bread machine, if you mention you are looking for one, you never know who has one in the back of the closet that belonged to her mother). It's not asking for gifts or loans or handouts, but people who might be a connection to what you're looking for aren't likely to bring it up out of the blue. You don't have to share exactly what your finances look like (although these days, there is no shame associated with a financial downturn), just tell people if they ask that you are trying to build the bank account before the new baby comes.
Good luck!
No advice for you, however, welcome back! :)
chrisgermany
6-10-11, 4:00am
Could your wife run a daycare from home or start day camps on arts for kids during summer?
This thread would probably have more traffic if you ask the moderators to move it to "Finance"
fidgiegirl
6-10-11, 7:53am
I second EVERYTHING people have said above about the car, etc. And it sounds like some of that advice can be taken and some cannot.
I am with Float On. My two cents is that if you have truly cut all you could, to do your best to pay less to the medical, particularly the services already received. Your family needs to keep that house over its head. That secured debt needs to be prioritized before any other. I know this is maybe not the most ethical thing to do, but to get a little bit political here, the fact that you are basically in this situation because of a medical emergency shouldn't have had to happen to you, either.
How about finding a sliding scale fee clinic for the OB/GYN stuff? And as for prepaying the birth (I'm honestly feeling terrible writing any of this) what are they going to do? Make the baby hang out in there until you pay the bill? Having the birth being prepaid isn't going to matter one iota if your house is going into foreclosure and that little baby is going to have to live on the street. I see they are rolling that into the monthly OB/GYN payments. That's frustrating because it seems like you are being blackmailed into paying in order to get prenatal care. Pregnant women can go on Medicaid . . .
The best arrangement would be to make arrangements because I suppose not paying it is avoiding having a worse situation later but it's better than losing your house!!! But desperate times call for desperate measures.
I really feel for you. Your post makes me realize that you can do everything right and still end up in a terrible situation through no fault of your own. >:(
Realizing my post has been pretty negative, I also want to share a few more positive ideas.
If you have a computer and your wife has graphic design skills, how about getting involved with a site like Cafe Press? They will print up items with her design on it and she gets a cut. I believe there is no upfront fee to sign up.
On Etsy you can create digital items for sale, though there is a fee to list them, something it sounds like you are in a bad place for right now.
Putting some designs she's already done on stock photography/image sites?
Also, are you eligible to get any assistance for your stepson's needs? You don't say how severe his autism is, if he uses a PCA can you and your wife "be" the PCA and get paid for it (not even sure if people do this, thinking wild here)?
My two cents and thinking of you.
Holy cow, yes, under the circumstances consider Medicaid for the pregnancy. Most states have developed different guidelines for pregnant women than for others: Kelli is absolutely right that finding alternative care or getting the medical establishment to back off makes sense, particularly if your housing might be at risk. Call the health department and ask about free prenatal care at the health units. My DIL does this care in North Carolina (she is a nurse-midwife). Even if they say your wife doesn't qualify, keep on asking. And try to keep having fun as a family. This is a financial crisis but it doesn't have to turn into an interpersonal one. I am wishing you well.....the struggle is there but it will not be forever.
Thanks for the support everyone! I don't have time for a detailed response right now as I'm busy at work, but I'm going to share this thread with my wife and we'll discuss your advice. It really means a lot to know I have people rooting for us. I should be back with a detailed response tonight or tomorrow morning.
Over the course of an eventful life I've had many occasions to "retrench", as my mother used to call it. Previous posters have addressed most of the big stuff like car payments. It can't hurt to call your car and home insurance companies and ask about ways to reduce your premiums. I took an online driving safety course and reduced my car insurance premium.
For extra earning, see www.marketforce.com (http://www.marketforce.com) and volition.com.
Walgreen's has monthly specials that are free or nearly free after rebate, often for things like grooming products. What you don't have to pay out you don't have to earn.
I dry clothes indoors on a collapsible wooden drying rack and on hangers on the shower curtain rod. They dry faster with a fan blowing on them.
I use baking soda as toothpaste, deodorant, facial scrub (gently!), and shampoo (google "no 'poo" to see how it's done). Very inexpensive and minimum packaging in the landfill.
The blood bank often gives me a $10 restaurant gift card when I give blood. (I usually let them keep the tshirts).
I earn gift cards for a discount store or restaurant from www.mypoints.com (http://www.mypoints.com)
www.about.com's (http://www.about.com's) frugal living section has many many excellent cost-reducing suggestions at all levels.
While I hear what you're saying about netflix being a cost effective form of entertainment, the MOST cost effective form is free - games, cards, library books, walks, community activities that are free.
It may be that you have already cancelled newspaper or magazines subscriptions, as I have. If not, most such things are available online now. I check the job ads online for free every day.
Groceries is a budget item that can be quite flexible. I found which store is the cheapest (WMT) and get most things there. Then I watch Winn Dixie's meat sales and buy only what is buy-one-get-one. House brands are almost always just as good as the name brands, worth a try. Produce that is in season locally will cost less than out of season foods. I discvered lentils a couple of years ago - nutritious, filling, inexpensive. I simmer a pound of them with salt and a small can of (ro-tel) house brand diced tomatoes with green chilis. Drink water.
Sometime in the 80's I stopped buy things that I would literally just put directly into the trash: trash bags. I use paper grocery bags in the big can and plastic grocery bags in the small can. No paper plates, paper napkins. I bought cloth dishrags to use instead of paper towels. I also stopped by dry-cleanable clothing, since it made a one-time purchase into a recurring cost.
This is definitely the time to "eat down" the freezer and turn it off for the summer.
I recently reduced my cell phone costs by learning to text - my plan has unlimited texting but only 300 talk minutes, and I was going over until I started texting for short informational interactions.
rosarugosa
6-10-11, 6:58pm
Hey Amator, You definitely have my sympathies as well. Here are my thoughts:
Sell the Camry. Inlaws might feel bad, but they would surely feel worse if you were in foreclosure. I suspect if you explained why you were doing it, they would be glad that they were able to help, since giving you the car in the first place shows that they wanted to help you folks out.
Do you get a tax refund every year? If so, you might want to adjust your withholding so that you get more now at your time of critical need, and less later.
Don't let peer pressure get the best of you in the future. Real friends do not think the less of you for not going out to eat when you cannot afford it. Sometimes they can't really afford it either!
I agree with "getting the word out." A recently unemployed acquaintance e-mailed me to ask where to get a particular type of plant ( we are both avid gardeners). I told her I could share that very plant for free, but she had already ordered it from a mail order nursery. I suspect I feel worse about this than she does. It would have made me so happy to be able to share and spare her a needless expenditure.
Good luck to you and your family!
Amator, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I think the situation can improve by reframing it in your mind. Think of every cut expense as buying more peace. Nothing you can buy is worth being sick over or fighting with your spouse. Here is what I would try to do if I were in your position.
* Sell all cars with car payments. Share a used car with your wife that gets good mileage.
* Get rid of both cell phones. Replace with a shared land line and get pre paid Tracphones to be used just for emergencies.
* Drop the subscription to elance.com.
* Your electric bill looks high to me but I think you addressed this earlier.
* Drop netflix. Check to see if you can check out videos or DVDs from the library. Or borrow from friends and reciprocate with babysitting.
* Make an appointment with the hospital business office director and share your new lower budget along with proof that you've made the changes and ask what can be worked out. I'm in the health care IT industry and I've heard of circumstances where bills have been completely written off.
* Consider refinancing your mortgage. Rates are very low right now.
* For now, focus totally on cutting expenses rather than finding extra income. I think the lack of focus makes the situation seem more overwhelming than it is.
* Spend more on quality food but continue eating at home. Rice, beans, fruits and vegetables. Only drink tap water. You need good health to continue on.
* If there is a CVS or Walgreens, learn how to work their couponing system to avoid having to spend money on grooming supplies.
* If you have a used car, you can drop to liability only car insurance. Reshop all your insurances opting for the highest deductible.
* Do your best to get rid of the payday loan.
I think it is better to make cuts like the ones above to be less stressed out about the situation and to have some funds free just for fun. You and your wife need that. Each of you can make a list of the three most important things you want to spend money on. Then compare. Request from the library "All Your Worth" by Elizabeth Warren. It talks about dividing your post tax budget into must haves 50%, wants 30% and savings 20%. The goal is to get your regular spending down as much as you can to 50% so that some of your money is free for emergency savings to pay for things like car tires and wants like meeting with your friends. It think if you could make these changes, your wife might be able to continue staying home with enough money for everyone.
Once you've tackled the big list above, check out this link for smaller ways to save money that I have found helpful in the past:
http://notesfromthefrugaltrenches.com/2010/12/14/111-ways-to-save-money-in-2011-part-i/
You really can do this. I think by being bold and making these changes, you'll find that your whole family will ultimately be happier. When things get a little easier, you can always move up again if it is really important to you. Best wishes. :D
Maxamillion
6-11-11, 11:44am
I would second looking into refinancing the mortgage. Also, I don't know if there are income requirements, or if so, what they might be, but your wife may qualify for WIC--it would help with the grocery budget a little if she did. As for cellphones, what I have is a prepaid Gophone with a text messaging package. If someone else also has an At&T cell phone, you can talk to them without using your minutes. (It does charge $1-$2 dollars each day you use it, depending on your plan). For family members that don't have an AT&T cell phone, I use the texting. Depending on how many calls to places like the doctor or library that I make each month, I can get by with buying $17-$34 worth of minutes each month, and $5 each month for the text package.
loosechickens
6-11-11, 1:51pm
Maybe this has been mentioned before.....wouldn't be suitable for your pregnant wife, but if you are in good health, look into the possibility of selling your plasma weekly somewhere in your area......as legions of penniless graduate students know, it's a quick way to put up to a couple hundred dollars in your pocket each month, without damaging your health or taking up lots of time.
I can't remember who it is, but someone on these boards has mentioned selling plasma regularly as a way they make ends meet....maybe that person will see this and come on and post about the process.
You sure don't have much wiggle room. I also think that maybe the hospital would defer/decrease payments until your wife has the OB/GYN payments behind her. Worth asking them, anyway.
One thought for income for your wife down the road--is it possible for her to do family day care? I know she's thinking of working from home part time, but I know from experience that it's HARD to compartmentalize work / family life when you try to work from home with such a young family.
Family day care is exhausting but at least you're just doing ONE THING--not trying to get work done with a baby demanding all kinds of time from you. I have no idea what child care costs these days, but I did the family day care thing when I had 4 kids (2 were in elementary school, 2 preschool), and it worked out well.
Good luck to you.
Maxamillion
6-12-11, 2:29am
Oh, something I meant to mention earlier about being able to call people is Skype. It's free to download and to call someone else who also has Skype on their computer. You do have to buy minutes to be able to call to a phone (can't remember if it's cell phones or regular phones or both), and it's generally cheaper than buying cell phone minutes. You do need a microphones and speakers (or earphones) for your computer. I just downloaded it recently, it's pretty cool.
First of all, my sympathies. You have a tough row to hoe right now...
When I went through a drastic reduction of income, it was going to be complicated for a variety of reasons to get a second job. But I did find that I was surprisingly successful finding dribs and drabs of money--$20 for opening a new checking account, $50 for testing a new computer game, money here and there from doing consumer panels, babysitting, online surveys, Amazon Turk (online microtasks). None of it was much, but it added up to enough to get me a little breathing room. The person who writes The Non-Consumer Advocate blog writes about this kind of thing often. Since you haven't been able to find a regular part-time job, maybe you could buy yourself a little room with this kind of thing. I knew of someone who between jobs rented herself out for $10/hour for whatever kind of help people needed, anything from cleaning houses to babysitting to designing flyers to driving people to the airport.
Thank you for mentioning Amazon's Mechanical Turk. I;ve been having a lot of fun with it the past two days. Not only made a couple of bucks, but it is tuning up my brain, like puzzles or brainteasers would. I'm out of work and have literally nothing else to do most of the day, so as they let me do more it may become a paying hobby.
Also, if a need for some material object like furniture or tools comes up, check Freecycle first.
Oh, something I meant to mention earlier about being able to call people is Skype. It's free to download and to call someone else who also has Skype on their computer. You do have to buy minutes to be able to call to a phone (can't remember if it's cell phones or regular phones or both), and it's generally cheaper than buying cell phone minutes. You do need a microphones and speakers (or earphones) for your computer. I just downloaded it recently, it's pretty cool.
I actually did a long distance job interview on Skype last year. Very cool technology. And easy to use. I'd never used it before doing that interview and it was very user friendly.
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the suggestions and support. There are too many replies to repond to everyone individually, but here are a few notes:
We're looking into our options for selling my car. Selling the used Camry that my in-law's just bought my wife is not an option that we will currently consider, sorry. In our area there is absolutely no public transporation and we must have at least one reliable car.
My wife and I agreed to try eLance for 3 months to see if she can get work that way and so far we're almost a month in. She's underbidding on lots of jobs, but has not won a contract yet. She will be doing some childcare - a friend just had her baby six weeks ago and is preparing to go back to work. They're still working out the details, but it looks like my wife will keep her son while she is at work.
Our son should qualify for Medicaid. My wife is getting our pediatrician to sign the forms to apply when she goes to get his prescription refills on Thursday. His ADHD medication is a class 2 controlled substance, so we have to get a new prescription every month.
Marketforce.com was a no go - spent 30 minutes completing all of their paperwork and there are no tasks to be done within 100 miles of me.
I'm adjusting our tax withholding today. I actually haven't changed it since I was first hired in 2007 when I was a bachelor.
Refinancing our mortgage wouldn't really help. I got it 3 years ago at 5% and the rates now are 4.2% and up...which is exactly what the rates were when I bought the house.
The only place in our city that bought plasma went out of business a couple years ago. Plus, I'm type II diabetic and they wouldn't accept my plasma.
I actually use Google Voice rather than Skype for free phone calls. I'm planning on transferring my phone # to Google (a $10 fee) and disconnect my cell phone for a few months until things get better (a $25/mo savings).
Freecycle stinks in my town. 90% of the traffic are people asking for items and when anything is posted it is taken within five minutes.
Thank you everyone for your support! I'll continue updating here as I have more news.
I know his website name is kind of obnoxious, but check out Ramit Sethi's www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com. He does have a fairly hard-sell approach for his products and classes, but he makes a lot of useful information avaialble for free. The main thing is he focuses on what you can do in very short time to bring in extra cash by providing goods and services that people in your market really need and will pay for. Not "do what you love and the money will follow" but "figure out what you can do that people will pay cold hard cash for, and work on buildling that up in short time for a decent second income or possibly your own full-time business." He is VERY results oriented, and the approach seems to work for many people if they really apply themselves. I think you might benefit from a bit of that reality. I sympathize with your community arts and skills center idea -- dreamed about doing something like that myself at one point when I was in career transition -- but I think you need to focus on more realistic goals and actions.
Great that your wife will be doing childcare for the friend. That could be a win-win situation for all of you.
Good luck and keep letting us know how things are going. We care and are here to provide support and encouragement.
lhamo
Thanks Lhamo. There's a reason why the community arts and skills center was listed as a pipe dream business. :)
I have a few more realistic ideas in motion, but several of them will require a little capital first. I will chekc out Ramit Sethi's blog over the next day or so.
Thank you as well for the encouragement. Honestly that means a lot.
flowerseverywhere
6-14-11, 5:32pm
The only thing I can think to add is that when someone asks you to go out to eat you should be honest. "It's just not in our budget right now." Don't be embarrassed about being honest. They may offer to pay and you have to be prepared to accept or decline.
I second the idea about looking into WIC or food stamps, you might be eligible. Also, is there a food bank near you? I would see if there was any close by and stop in to see if they can help. Ours gets bread from Panera and lots of stuff from the local grocers that need to be eaten quickly. Even stopping in once a month if you qualify would help a little.
If not, both of those places might have some suggestions to help or resources you can access.
Are you able to do yardwork? One of our friends had a son who mowed lawns. When he went off to College he took over and spent a couple of evenings a week and a weekend day mowing, but he made tax free cash and it really helped his family. Sometimes thinking crazy stuff might be the solution. You never know.
I second the phone idea.
Our landline plus long distance is about $18/month.
Our prepaid cell phones (emergencies only) are $200/year (for both).
About $35 a month.
Hello everyone, I wanted to give you all an update.
I've had success both with cutting down expenses and with increasing income.
Thankfully I received a small promotion and a 7% raise at my full-time job. This will go into effect next month. I also adjusted my tax withholding at work since it was still setup as when I was single with no kids. With both of these changes I should see around $600 additional net income per month.
I've also spent the last two months investigating a second job. I applied for ~20 jobs and was hired by two within a week. The first was waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant, which I did for a few nights. The second is writing weekend posts at a high traffic blog for 2 days a week @ $110/day. I parted ways with owner of the Chinese restaurant and have been writing every weekend this month. That will bring another $880 income per month and it's fabulous experience. The only drawback is no more free Chinese food. :(
We're still not completely out of the frying pan. I've made arrangements with my mortgage and auto lenders and should be completely caught up on all payments by Aug 15th. After that we can work on the chunk to pay the hospital for birthing costs. Hopefully by the time the baby comes in November we will have a small emergency fund back in place and be caught up with everything. Then I will throw an extra $1000 at the car loan per month and have it paid off by summer 2012. Then we should have no debt except for our mortgage.
Thanks everyone for all the great advice!
loosechickens
7-25-11, 2:31pm
That's SO great to hear, Amator.....Good job!!!!!! Congratulations on how you're working your way through these problems. Sounds like you're on track to see lots of improvement and will be in a good place financially, soon.
Congratulations!! You give those who are struggling real hope -based on tough, practical decisions!! Wishing you the best!!
Amator, I went back and read the posts from the beginning. I am so sorry that you were under this stressful situation. I am glad that things are turning around for you!!! The folks on this board are pretty good at helping people work through problems.
Good deal.
Did I miss it or have you got your new baby yet?
Thanks everyone! The support means a lot.
Sissy, we're due on Thanksgiving Day. :)
Sissy, we're due on Thanksgiving Day. :)
My first grandchild had her first birthday last Thanksgiving! Now we have one due in a few weeks (her little sis) and my other DD is due in December. All girls and I can't wait to see them all in action! :help:;)
congratulations on finding extra money! The blogging job sound ideal!
Reviving this really old thread because I wanted to ask: How does one find a blogging job like the one mentioned in this post? Don't know if Amator is still an active member here, but perhaps someone else can jump in?
Hello everyone, I wanted to give you all an update.
I've had success both with cutting down expenses and with increasing income.
Thankfully I received a small promotion and a 7% raise at my full-time job. This will go into effect next month. I also adjusted my tax withholding at work since it was still setup as when I was single with no kids. With both of these changes I should see around $600 additional net income per month.
I've also spent the last two months investigating a second job. I applied for ~20 jobs and was hired by two within a week. The first was waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant, which I did for a few nights. The second is writing weekend posts at a high traffic blog for 2 days a week @ $110/day. I parted ways with owner of the Chinese restaurant and have been writing every weekend this month. That will bring another $880 income per month and it's fabulous experience. The only drawback is no more free Chinese food. :(
We're still not completely out of the frying pan. I've made arrangements with my mortgage and auto lenders and should be completely caught up on all payments by Aug 15th. After that we can work on the chunk to pay the hospital for birthing costs. Hopefully by the time the baby comes in November we will have a small emergency fund back in place and be caught up with everything. Then I will throw an extra $1000 at the car loan per month and have it paid off by summer 2012. Then we should have no debt except for our mortgage.
Thanks everyone for all the great advice!
I've not been on this forum for quite some time, but I did get the notification email in Gmail just now. :)
I got started by finding out what I wanted to blog about (at the time that was personal finance, gaming, and technology), I created a free WordPress blog for those topics (GeekyFrugal.com - it has long since disappeared, but here's a link the Archive (https://web.archive.org/web/20110813121757/http://www.geekyfrugal.com/)) and published what I considered high-quality posts with images and good copy. Once I had that, I started looking at job listings at Problogger.net and elsewhere and stumbled into an interview with Lifehacker.com. I wrote for them for two years, and for the past few years I've been a corporate technical writer. I make decent money, but it's the most boring type of writing imaginable (documenting incident reports for a telecom company) and I also freelance on the side by writing blog posts for SaaS companies.
In order to get work, you must have good content with your byline that you can send people to see. In the beginning, write your own stuff, and then get people to pay you for it--it doesn't matter how little this is at this point, it just gives you experience working with clients and fodder for your portfolio. Fivrr, Elance, etc. are good for this. Problogger is still a great resource.
Good luck!
NowVoyager4
11-5-16, 5:53pm
I'm not going to address the math part if your situation; there are people better at that than I. On an emotional level, I hear a lot of overwhelm and perhaps shame in your description? (Think about not telling your old friend about your financial problems). What I can say is: given what you've been through, you actually seem to be taking action and achieving the results you need--not as quickly as you like, maybe, It sucks to have so many setbacks that were out of you control, and all at the same time. Be nice to yourself as you wade through this :). You'll get there.
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