Interesting Co-living situation

[jp1]

I've been watching Kirsten Dirksen's videos for years. This is the first one I can recall that focuses not on what one person has done to create an interesting home, but instead what a fluid group of folks have done creating/maintaining a co-living home. I can see how this works for many of the residents, providing a relatively inexpensive place to live, community, etc. On the other hand, while I moderately enjoyed dorm living in college I've never really wished to recreate the experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVFZmaT4vIE

[razz]

The social model of an individual home for everyone is not meeting the needs of many people. In addition, it is using land that is needed for food production, social/nature activities, and environmental benefits essential like water, oxygen and all of the nature's fauna and flora.

People, by and large, are social creatures and need interaction with others. To do this by living with like-minded people seems an ideal solution for those so inclined.
When I attended the local artists' workshop before covid shut it down, we talked and inspired each other and loved it. We miss it.
I think that this is a great idea as an option.

[catherine]

I also think it's a viable option for many people. However, as you mentioned, jp, what's good for a fraternity or sorority house isn't necessarily as good for adults with entrenched habits, and I think that any co-housing situation has to respect that.

Here in VT there are a plethora of co-housing options. One is similar to the one you posted about--pretty intense common living quarters. I remember my DDs ex-boyfriend, who was a real countercultural type himself--even he found pitfalls in common living. Democracy can be a challenge in those situations.

DD lived in a couple of co-housing situations in Brooklyn: one was inhabited by permaculture types. They would split responsibilities, i.e., who waters the plants on the roof and whose turn is it to manage the urban grey-water system they jerry-rigged. DD lived in a loft bed similar to the one in the video--but hers was a parent's nightmare of a fire trap.

But there is a more hybrid form of cohousing as well, which might not necessarily achieve some of the small ecological footprint goals that razz mentioned, but it does cluster like-minded people together who have common goals.

Here are two:
https://www.tenstonescommunity.com
http://www.cobbhill.org/houses

Ten Stones is in a rather tony area of Vermont, so the houses are expensive and they look like regularly sized homes. I've never been to Cobb Hill

I would be open to living in that type of a community.

ETA: Adding a couple more examples in VT
http://www.bristolcohousing.com/14-north-street-unit-1
https://livingtreealliance.com/cohousing/ (This one is actually a kibbutz--one of my NJ Master Gardener friends is considering moving here)
http://www.bcoho.org (I think this is the one that DD's ex lived in.)

[JaneV2.0]

At this time of my life, I don't mind the idea of a cluster of small houses around a central core--perhaps an arts community. I certainly don't need my 10,000 square foot lot. Having roommates is another issue entirely (shudder).

[happystuff]

I like the idea. Here is an article (there are several out there about the same group of friends - easy google), about 7 friends who bought a building, renovated it and use it for vacations and planned retirement together.

https://nypost.com/2019/07/03/seven-chinese-girlfriends-buy-mansion-to-retire-and-die-together/

[Teacher Terry]

Like Jane I wouldn’t mind a communal space for gathering as long as everyone had private living space.

[jp1]

Although I get the efficiency/low ecological footprint of the shared kitchen in my original video I would not enjoy it unless I was always eating food someone else prepared in it. I'm a bit of a neat freak, and very much a "place for every thing and every thing in its place" kind of guy. Living with just one other person tests my patience in this area. Living with 18 other people would push me over the edge because the chaos of the communal kitchen would be too much for me. That said, perhaps it would work out ok if I was contributing in some other way such that I didn't have to cook for myself more than on random occasion. Perhaps I'm being too rigid in my concept of how to live by assuming that each person mainly cooks for themself in a situation like this. For instance I would be perfectly happy to run around with a vacuum once or twice a week and clean the rugs in the entire house in exchange for people cooking for me every evening. Vacuuming is fun and easy.

The chore chart reminded my of my last communal living situation. My last year in college I lived in a house with four friends. Two weeks in the dirty dishes piled in the sink, dirty floors, etc, were already making me crazy. So I set up a rotating chore chart. Each week each of the four of us were responsible for one task: washing all the dishes at least once per day regardless of who dirtied them (the most time consuming task so I assigned it to myself the first week to get the whole ball rolling), putting the drying dishes away, vacuuming all the public spaces in the house at least once during the week, and taking out the trash anytime the kitchen trash can was full. Because my friends were all reasonable people the chore system worked out great. And I maintained my sanity because the house was at least nominally clean and tidy most of the time.

[Tybee]

Thanks, Catherine, for posting all the links for co-housing in Vermont. I was really surprised by how expensive the Burlington one was--I think 315000 for the flat. I liked the Kibbutz one because of the farm, although I doubt we could afford it, and my husband is not good at sharing garden plots--he gets real snippy every spring and claims I keep expanding into "his" plots.

But I really like the idea of co-housing as we age, and lots of the gated communities in South Carolina--like Sun City--had a co-housing element to them, with communal gathering space, pools, tennis courts, gardens, and libraries. They are not appealing to me like the farm ones in Vermont, but I do know lots of seniors who were very happy in them. Also lots of seniors who would absolutely never consider them, dh included.

But they really did have an element of almost assisted living to them, with lots of people finding help with chores and a level of watchfulness due to the off duty Marines who manned the gate house. Not that that is what anyone wants in co-housing, but as I get older, I think living closer to others and having walkability would help me, and all of the co-housing has some of this.

The co-housing that appeals to me is a really funky Florida trailer park with a co-op land situation and landscaping, and the ability to have a dog, a common pool, a gathering place for holiday meals, and low cost of living. Maybe I will start looking for that as a long term investment! We just need to downsize our dog situation, literally.

[JaneV2.0]

A funky trailer park with co-op land sounds pretty good to me...

[LDAHL]

Communal living? Not for me. I have lived in dorms and barracks, and didn’t especially enjoy the experience. I didn’t even like dealing with a condo owners’ association. From what I’ve seen of it, I wouldn’t like living in a prison, monastery, assisted living facility or trailer park either.

I’m selfish about my privacy, and not particularly interested in some busybodies’ paradise, with all the attached rules and obligations. I have to really love the people I’m living with. Some people are made that way, but (and it may reflect badly on me) I’m not. As long as I can manage it, I will be master of my domain.

[catherine]

Communal living? Not for me. I have lived in dorms and barracks, and didn’t especially enjoy the experience. I didn’t even like dealing with a condo owners’ association. From what I’ve seen of it, I wouldn’t like living in a prison, monastery, assisted living facility or trailer park either.

I’m selfish about my privacy, and not particularly interested in some busybodies’ paradise, with all the attached rules and obligations. I have to really love the people I’m living with. Some people are made that way, but (and it may reflect badly on me) I’m not. As long as I can manage it, I will be master of my domain.

I think I'm with you. One of my sons is just like my DH--that is to say, extremely gregarious and outgoing. He's convinced that I'm a misanthrope, simply because I say things like, "I LOVE it when my neighbors leave for the winter" or "Oh, do we HAVE to invite so-and-so for dinner? I'm just not into it."

I also find that I typically like volunteer opportunities until I learn that it involves going to meetings. My favorite volunteer activity so far has been Meals On Wheels, because I drive by myself and I hand people their meals and I'm out of there in seconds.

Of course I do enjoy DH's company and the company of my children, but that being said, I think the person I've been most envious of lately has been Thomas Merton--I learned from a podcast that he became a hermit in his later years. I could probably do that, as long as I could get a dog if I got lonely.

[iris lilies]

It was the month of June this year before I finally invited someone over to sit on my patio and have dinner with me, My only socialization of note in about three months outside of DH. Granted, I did talk to people while in the community garden. But generally speaking that with my tolerance of no socialization Dash three months. So going by that I could have I can meet with people four times a year and be content. Ha ha!

Oh wait. In those three months March through June I had several interactions with bulldog people, sitting on my patio talking about adopting dogs looking at dogs etc.

[herbgeek]

He's convinced that I'm a misanthrope,

I can confirm that you are most definitely NOT a misanthrope. (I have met Catherine IRL)

[frugal-one]

Communal living? Not for me. I have lived in dorms and barracks, and didn’t especially enjoy the experience. I didn’t even like dealing with a condo owners’ association. From what I’ve seen of it, I wouldn’t like living in a prison, monastery, assisted living facility or trailer park either.

I’m selfish about my privacy, and not particularly interested in some busybodies’ paradise, with all the attached rules and obligations. I have to really love the people I’m living with. Some people are made that way, but (and it may reflect badly on me) I’m not. As long as I can manage it, I will be master of my domain.

Last winter we rented at a trailer park in TX. It was perfect. You had your own space/privacy, had things to do if you so chose to, no obligations .... sadly, not able to do now. Hopefully, next year.

[catherine]

I can confirm that you are most definitely NOT a misanthrope. (I have met Catherine IRL)

haha! Thanks, herbgeek!