View Full Version : Rituals
catherine
12-29-20, 10:14am
I was washing the dishes (by hand) this morning and my mind wandered to my grandmother and great-aunt--the relatives I lived with in the summer. They had a very old, original porcelain double farm sink. We used a galvanized tub in the sink to wash the dishes in. My grandmother dried and I washed, but she instilled the following ritual in me and I was not to deviate: wash glasses and cups first, then utensils, then dishware, then pots and pans, which would be dried, not with a towel, but with paper towels so if there was any leftover grease on the pots it wouldn't ruin the cloth dishtowels.
I see ritual as being a little different than routine. A routine is a regular, repeated pattern of behavior, but ritual has an element of purpose to it. In the case of the dishwashing, the purpose was to make sure the dishes that touch the mouth were washed first to reduce likelihood of leaving germs from the dirty water.
Of course, in addition to these mundane household rituals there are religious rituals and rituals that mark special events, like birthdays and anniversaries.
As kind of a pre-New Year review of how you work or play around things that are important to you, I'm wondering what rituals you have?
Teacher Terry
12-29-20, 10:21am
Catherine, I was taught to wash dishes the same way.
catherine
12-29-20, 10:27am
Catherine, I was taught to wash dishes the same way.
Interesting! Maybe that ritual was common when everyone washed dishes by hand!
happystuff
12-29-20, 10:30am
I've never heard this about washing dishes and I've washed dishes by hand since I could reach the sink (standing on a stool) up to this very day. Interesting!
The only "ritual" that comes to mind is a silly little thing from an aunt... when removing clothes from the washing machine, always "shake" each piece out - whether it is being line-dried or going into the dryer. This allows for the clothes to dry quicker and somewhat less wrinkled.
ApatheticNoMore
12-29-20, 11:21am
Always remove the meat from the turkey carcus the day you make the turkey (thanksgiving generally). Who knows why or if it is actually true, by old wives tales keeps it from going bad. Guiltily I remove meat from a chicken after putting a whole left-over carcus in the fridge and having it trouble my conscience. What's good for the turkey is good for the chicken right? I guess so ...
My dishes though, I don't have a dishwasher, but I let them air dry on the dishrack and do them in no particular order, and really I'm not looking to make life MORE difficult by having to do dishes in order as well.
pinkytoe
12-29-20, 11:27am
It sticks in my head that my mother always said when bathing/showering "start from the top and work your way down." One of our new found rituals is to take two walks a day and just wander through the neighborhood or nearby parks.
Catherine, I was taught to wash dishes the same way.
Me, too. Not sure if I was taught or it simply seemed the right way to leave the greasy stuff to the last or the glass wouldn't sparkle Never got into the habit of paper towels although I do use them. I would rather have a number of dish towels to launder.
In regard to rituals, I love my first cup of coffee before I do anything else beyond letting the dog out and feeding him. He has a ritual as well lol - I must give him his loaded Kong or he will pester me until I do. Right after he empties the Kong, he goes back to bed and I can relax and enjoy my coffee and peaceful meditation ritual.
Each evening before bed, I make a tour of the three doors leading outside to ensure that they are properly locked. If I forget to this, it will bother me enough to interfere with getting to sleep so I get up and do it.
I always check that the stove is off before leaving the house based on a scary moment long ago of coming back to a simmering pot that went dry and then black and got thrown out.
catherine
12-29-20, 11:48am
In regard to rituals, I love my first cup of coffee before I do anything else beyond letting the dog out and feeding him. He has a ritual as well lol - I must give him his loaded Kong or he will pester me until I do. Right after he empties the Kong, he goes back to bed and I can relax and enjoy my coffee and peaceful meditation ritual.
Love both your and your pup's rituals! My ritual is the same as yours minus the dog, but I certainly spent decades incorporating my dog's rituals into mine in the morning.
happystuff
12-29-20, 11:52am
It sticks in my head that my mother always said when bathing/showering "start from the top and work your way down." One of our new found rituals is to take two walks a day and just wander through the neighborhood or nearby parks.
Yes, I've heard of and done the "top-down" showering.
I was taught to wash dishes that way too, but the reason given was washing the least dirty to the most, in that order.
The only rituals I have at the moment I can think of are:
Morning newspaper and coffee followed by morning ablutions.
Eating breakfast at my work desk.
Tea at 2:30 p.m. break
early morning
12-29-20, 12:54pm
RE: dishes - that's they way we did them at home, but no paper towels in sight - woe unto the person who actually left any grease in the pan to contaminate a dish cloth, lol. Clothes were washed in a similar order, in the same water, and rinsed in a set-tub - starting with whites, lights, colors, and darks. Then the water was pumped out and the washer rinsed. The spinner was a separate part of the same machine, and the water that was spun out of the rinsed garments could be directed back into the washer. It was a lovely system, very saving of water. I really wish I could find such a machine today! It was something like an Easy Spin-Dry....
start from the top and work your way down I was taught this about dusting but never bathing.... :)
Hmmm, hard to say if the things I do are routine or ritual. Probably mostly routines, things I do habitually because they need to be done. Ritual to me implies an intention to make the time/thing you are about to do different from regular time. That's Sunday morning breakfast which is different than everyday breakfast because its more elaborate and includes 2 cups of coffee and more lingering. In the summer, we often have a late afternoon ritual including an adult beverage where we sit in a particular area of the yard overlooking a flower garden and just enjoy the day. At Christmas we make a ritual out of driving around to see the lights. I have a personal wintertime ritual of opening and closing the blinds each day as a recognition of the cycle of the day.
I think I'm going to create and execute more ritual in 2021.
SteveinMN
12-29-20, 8:04pm
Hmmm, hard to say if the things I do are routine or ritual. Probably mostly routines, things I do habitually because they need to be done. Ritual to me implies an intention to make the time/thing you are about to do different from regular time.
That's how I see it. I've got plenty of things I do on a routine basis: after I prep coffee for the next morning, I check both entry doors to the house, make sure the lights are off in the basement, the refrigerator door is closed, the dishwasher door is shut, and the stove knobs are set to off. Pretty much every night; largely because I'm the one who'll notice one of those things undone.
I also would not call it a ritual to make sure all the electrical stuff in the car (heater, radio, mirror heat, etc.) is off when I shut off the car; it's just something I do to make it easier to start next time and there's then no chance the battery will die from, say, the radio left on all night (it's wired separately from the ignition key).
However, making myself a cup of pourover coffee around 2 pm every afternoon -- that's a ritual. It's not quite up to the level of a Japanese tea ceremony, but there is an order to things which I actually kind of like (particularly if the day has been just off the wall). Then I get to enjoy a first-class cup of coffee. And then there are seasonal rituals, like going to the State Fair every year or watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas", which I believe I have done every year since it was first broadcast (ain't Christmas without it, even this weird year).
I have many rituals. At work I have certain reports and other tasks I like to do in a certain order every day. No one tells me what order to do them in, which is a nice change from my previous position. Agency even in small things matters.
Almost every evening I take a hot bath, watch the evening news, and call my parents. I am also a door lock checker. And I set out my outfit for the next day.
Mornings I make my lunch, fill my water bottles, wash my hair among other things.
Saturday is errand day.
Sundays I do laundry while watching the morning political shows.
I also have rituals involving counting. For instance, every year I count how many different license plates I can see. Each state counts as one. My all time high was 56 thanks to Canadian provinces, the District of Columbia, US government, and Mexican states.
I was never taught any kind of housework, and it shows. :D
My ritual is getting out of bed, fixing myself a latte with protein powder, and turning on The Stephanie Miller show, a political/comedy broadcast. At least that's my weekday ritual.
I shave every morning with an old fashioned double edged razor with shaving cream and brush. I've kept this up through the various stay at home orders and the temptations of dirty face fashions.
My mother also did the dishes in that order, although no paper towels, and drying was done in no particular order. She explained to me that it was because you didn't want to have greasy water for the plates and glasses.
Although I do it I was never taught the top down shower method because we didn't have a shower in our house growing up. I spent my childhood having to take baths, which I find gross. It just doesn't seem rational to me that sitting in dirty soapy water and then getting out and drying off is a good way to get clean. It certainly leaves the bathtub dirty so how is it not leaving the person equally dirty?
I loved my bath especially when I could soak and relax.
I think that soap and bath water remove any of the dirt on you and you step out all nice and clean, jp1.;)
ApatheticNoMore
12-31-20, 12:40pm
Oh yea a bath isn't even an optional feature of a dwelling. It's required, and an absolutely necessary daily mental health ritual (sometimes a few times daily). It cures what ails you, restless and agitated, sore and tired, feeling sick, there is a bath for all that. Ok it doesn't really cure *everything* but I actually do use baths to manage my physical and emotional state.
catherine
12-31-20, 12:51pm
Although I do it I was never taught the top down shower method because we didn't have a shower in our house growing up. I spent my childhood having to take baths, which I find gross. It just doesn't seem rational to me that sitting in dirty soapy water and then getting out and drying off is a good way to get clean. It certainly leaves the bathtub dirty so how is it not leaving the person equally dirty?
My best friend in college said that she would never take a bath unless she showered first, then bathed, then showered again on the way out. I'm of the mind that a little bit of dirt is never going to kill you, and it might even be good for you, i.e., the hygiene hypothesis. If you shower every day, and occasionally take a bath, how dirty can you be?? I can see it if we're talking about the family using the same tub on a Saturday night as they did in the old days, but we're a long way from that.
ApatheticNoMore
12-31-20, 1:23pm
my biggest worry about taking baths was wasting water, yes I'm a terrible person wasting all this water (look of blissful ecstasy on my face), when I could take a 2 minute shower. (seriously though, it's not the most sustainable choice)
How dirty can you be if you bathe every day or more. In some countries that would make you a cleanliness freak.
frugal-one
12-31-20, 2:30pm
My mother also did the dishes in that order, although no paper towels, and drying was done in no particular order. She explained to me that it was because you didn't want to have greasy water for the plates and glasses.
Although I do it I was never taught the top down shower method because we didn't have a shower in our house growing up. I spent my childhood having to take baths, which I find gross. It just doesn't seem rational to me that sitting in dirty soapy water and then getting out and drying off is a good way to get clean. It certainly leaves the bathtub dirty so how is it not leaving the person equally dirty?
I have the same sentiments. I have not taken a bath in years.
SteveinMN
12-31-20, 4:43pm
My best friend in college said that she would never take a bath unless she showered first, then bathed, then showered again on the way out.
In Japan, the hot recreational baths require washing with soap and water first before getting into the tub (washing stool and towel provided). But those baths are for relaxation, not getting clean, and many are communal (segregated by gender) so it makes sense to be clean before you take the bath.
SteveinMN
12-31-20, 4:45pm
I shave every morning with an old fashioned double edged razor with shaving cream and brush.
I guess that is another semi-ritual of mine. I shave that way, too, though I no longer shave every morning and I alternate between cream and soap, so a few changes to the ritual are necessary.
rosarugosa
12-31-20, 5:31pm
The last time I took a bath was 18 years ago, when our only bathroom was being gutted and remodeled. The tub had been installed, but the shower had not, and I think baths were the only option for a few days. I recall bringing some rubber eyeballs into the tub so I would have some tub toys to play with, like when I was little. As fun as the eyeballs were, I am definitely a shower person.
In Japan, the hot recreational baths require washing with soap and water first before getting into the tub (washing stool and towel provided). But those baths are for relaxation, not getting clean, and many are communal (segregated by gender) so it makes sense to be clean before you take the bath.
When I visited Japan in 2018, I discovered the Japanese hot baths fed by hot springs in two of the hotels. I loved them! No one else on my tour visited these hot baths and they were so clean, open aired but very private. I relaxed in the hot baths after a full day, went to bed and had a wonderful night's sleep. It really is an amazing country but what a long journey to get there and back.
catherine
12-31-20, 6:04pm
When I visited Japan in 2018, I discovered the Japanese hot baths fed by hot springs in two of the hotels. I loved them! No one else on my tour visited these hot baths and they were so clean, open aired but very private. I relaxed in the hot baths after a full day, went to bed and had a wonderful night's sleep. It really is an amazing country but what a long journey to get there and back.
Not related to baths, but when I went to Japan, the creature comfort that I LOVED was the small massage chair in my room. I'm not typically a creature-comfort type. I never wanted a massage or massager of any kind, but there was a very small chair in my room and when I came back from work, I sat in it and gave it a try, and it was unbelievable! The rollers went all the way from the calves to the lumbar region to the nape of the neck right under my skull and it was awesome.
DH needed a very comfortable chair to sleep in a few months ago due to severe muscle cramps which only occurred when he was lying prone in bed, so I researched recliners and massage chairs. I couldn't find one the size that I had in my hotel room in Japan. My house would not be big enough for the huge chairs sold in the US (like Texas, everything is big in the US, compared to the rest of the world). I would have bought one had I found it, but instead wound up with a recliner with a massage feature, but it's not a massage chair like the one in Japan--not by a long shot.
Japan is a really wonderful country in terms of how they design self-care experiences.
ETA: I happened to take a picture of the chair it was so comfy. I was hoping to find this same one in the US, but no dice.
3552
Catherine, you had that marvellous app on your phone that enabled you to go exploring using GPS. I had neither that app nor the translater app which I would have loved to use to get around. I was impressed with their bathroom facilities as well. Didn't try the chair you had though.
Simplemind
12-31-20, 9:31pm
This almost looks close Catherine. At Wayfair reg 4K on sale for $1630. Such a deal!
3554
The gal that gives (gave) me pedicures has a wonderful massage chair. I told her if she ever wanted to sell it I would buy it and build a she shed around it!
We tried this one at Menards and vowed to someday get one, or two-
Osaki OS Champ Brown Massage Chair at Menards® (https://www.menards.com/main/grocery-home/furniture/living-room-furniture/recliners-accent-chairs/osaki-os-champ-brown-massage-chair/osklmscbrn/p-1568010642230.htm)
Whole hot spring towns are devoted to the cult of baths in Japan. You get the clothing to wear around town that tells them where you belong. Fabulous meals (we had buffets that were great). Dozens of different baths, pools, coed or not, etc. It is a whole experience that we did not quite understand.
Closer to home I went to Lava Hot Springs, Idaho and enjoyed it.
I will accept all of you pro-bath people with unconditional positive regard. But I’m still not going to start taking baths anytime soon. In fact one of the remodeling projects on our agenda in the next couple years is to update the main bathroom by ripping out the absurdly huge tub and bland 70’s tile and putting in a big shower with modern granite or other solid surface tiles and a frameless clear glass front.
I love hot baths, especially in the winter. LONG hot ones. As in, several hours long. Book/Kindle, phone, something to drink, and often a snack. I prefer to take them in the evening, after watching the early news. I’ve been doing this for years.
I will accept all of you pro-bath people with unconditional positive regard. But I’m still not going to start taking baths anytime soon. In fact one of the remodeling projects on our agenda in the next couple years is to update the main bathroom by ripping out the absurdly huge tub and bland 70’s tile and putting in a big shower with modern granite or other solid surface tiles and a frameless clear glass front.
Nice!
I am finding the hot baths are aggravating what I believe is eczema so I am going to try going every other day.
I think I've posted this before but mine is a bedtime ritual (insomniac here..) where soaking is the first step. We got a spa several years ago and were told we would use it a few times and then it would sit there. Honestly, it is my favorite thing and I'm in it every evening. I mourn the day we downsize and I lose it. Not the spa exactly but everything around it. The night sky, the meadow that stretches to the woods. It is where I listen to nature and practice mindfulness for at least half an hour before I drag myself out and put on my jammies. I take my nighty night supplements, spray my linens with lavender, turn on a gentle fan and settle in for the blanket show.
I think I've posted this before but mine is a bedtime ritual (insomniac here..) where soakin to experienceg is the first step. We got a spa several years ago and were told we would use it a few times and then it would sit there. Honestly, it is my favorite thing and I'm in it every evening. I mourn the day we downsize and I lose it. Not the spa exactly but everything around it. The night sky, the meadow that stretches to the woods. It is where I listen to nature and practice mindfulness for at least half an hour before I drag myself out and put on my jammies. I take my nighty night supplements, spray my linens with lavender, turn on a gentle fan and settle in for the blanket show.
That sounds wonderful to experience!
iris lilies
1-2-21, 9:14am
I think I've posted this before but mine is a bedtime ritual (insomniac here..) where soaking is the first step. We got a spa several years ago and were told we would use it a few times and then it would sit there. Honestly, it is my favorite thing and I'm in it every evening. I mourn the day we downsize and I lose it. Not the spa exactly but everything around it. The night sky, the meadow that stretches to the woods. It is where I listen to nature and practice mindfulness for at least half an hour before I drag myself out and put on my jammies. I take my nighty night supplements, spray my linens with lavender, turn on a gentle fan and settle in for the blanket show.
This is what catherine needs.
This is what catherine needs.
That sounds VERY appealing indeed! Wow.
I love hot baths, especially in the winter. LONG hot ones. As in, several hours long.
I'm curious- how do you keep the water hot for hours? Do you have a separate heater or is this a tub that already has heat in it somehow?
Teacher Terry
1-2-21, 10:10am
Yppej, eczema runs in my family and I have had it all my life. The last thing you want to do is take a bath. Doctors recommend short showers and in winter not daily if you aren’t stinky.
Yppej, eczema runs in my family and I have had it all my life. The last thing you want to do is take a bath. Doctors recommend short showers and in winter not daily if you aren’t stinky.
Head and Shoulders.
My son had eczema and someone told him to wash with Head and Shoulders and it went away.
Thanks Catherine. I will try that.
I'm curious- how do you keep the water hot for hours? Do you have a separate heater or is this a tub that already has heat in it somehow?
You simply add more hot water as needed. It helps that the drain plug is a bit leaky. So as the water has cooled, it’s drained out a bit and I just add more hot water. When I lived elsewhere, I would just let the cooled water out and add more hot.
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