View Full Version : Solstice to Lughnasadh
Chicken lady
6-21-21, 5:29am
I’m back?
I read the last thread but wasn’t ready to post. My brain is still scatters, and I had a really hard time trying to set goals and intentions yesterday, but I’ve come up with a few thoughts. More areas to work on than specific goals, so I will set time goals.for some.
work on my outdoor areas/homestead goals 14 hours a week
work on/in my pottery studio 14 hours a week
(both of those I would like to do consistently in two hour daily blocks, but weather and other events happen)
clean out and organize my scullery space
get the basement in better order
get my materials in order to plan classes for fall.
Lughnasadh (the cross quarter) is August 7
i can’t actually get started seriously on this for two weeks because I have daily family commitments including company and some travel until after July 4, but I wanted to at least set my intentions so I focus my energy in the right places when I do have time.
anybody else? 7 week goals?
Get my car windshield replaced.
Remove the ceiling that is caving in, see what is above it, and make a plan.
Get counseling set up.
Visit with family coming out from California.
Go swimming at least once.
Today I am mailing a letter to an old college friend I lost track of - found her address and am hoping to reconnect.
Teacher Terry
6-21-21, 1:47pm
During the divorce and moving I quit walking for exercise. I started walking daily three days ago. I am walking 2 miles. It feels really good. I have been walking daily for 36 years and nothing in the past has stopped me. When we were purging the house I didn’t need to walk as I was working 8-10 hours a day getting rid of the junk master’s stuff. Then I was getting plenty of exercise moving. Then I never went back to walking. My son noticed and took charge of the evening walks. My 2 little dogs are out of shape and need to build their stamina. They can only walk a mile with a rest halfway.
Well, I ended up pushing my certification exam back 2 months, so that's now scheduled for August. Still have a few minor things to get taken care of in our new home - will try to get everything caught up by July 4 weekend.
Need to help the MOB and happy couple with wedding planning.
I contacted the company that does MassSave for my area and as I suspected they will not pay for insulation I can install myself. I also expressed concern about blown in insulation which they like disintegrating over time and they did not offer alternatives. So depending on what I find when I take down the ceiling I will most likely be insulating myself with no subsidy.
mschrisgo2
6-23-21, 9:43pm
Yppej, I would like to encourage you to be in touch with the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in your area. Call them, even better if you can go visit them in person. They specialize in small amounts of various building materials and their prices are very very good. Likely you will be able to get what you need for various projects- including insulation, as it is likely to get donated to ReStore. There are also always very knowledgeable folks there who can help you to make the best choices. Some stores even maintain a list of workers of various trades who work for a small stipend on a sliding scale or totally donate their time. Best of luck.
Thanks for the idea mschrigo2. There is a Restore in my area. The governor is also proposing a sales tax holiday for August and September, but I don't know that I want to wait that long to do the project.
Two days after I mailed my letter I heard from my long lost friend. She had also tried finding me over the years. What a difference from my friend T (former friend now? The silence continues). She is happy in her life and she suggested getting together in September. All her kids are home for the summer and she has plans with them each weekend, and we live too far apart to get together during the week.
rosarugosa
6-24-21, 6:59pm
I'm glad to see you back, Chicken Lady. :)
I have lots of little things as always, but I tend to get them done without much difficulty. For the purposes of this thread, I want to focus on 3 bigger items:
Make some significant progress on the cupboard restoration
Repair one of the outdoor benches (one board is rotting out or being eaten by insects or something; it has a soft and spongy area)
Stain outdoor benches and tables (yes, I did complete this last year but it needs to be done again. DH has suggested that we get a paint sprayer, which might make this a less unpleasant task).
Continue work on revamping front flower garden (I want more color and lots of bees!)
Chicken lady
6-25-21, 6:08am
Thanks Rosa.
I can see where you need to focus, that’s 4. ��
I am still just hanging with my family.
I plan to go swimming Sunday when the air is forecast to be tropical.
rosarugosa
6-25-21, 7:00pm
Thanks Rosa.
I can see where you need to focus, that’s 4. ��
I am still just hanging with my family.
LOL, math was never my best subject (although in college, it did become one of my favorite subjects, oddly enough). I kind of vacillated about including the front garden, because I enjoy that, so I'm sure I will work on it, just try to stop me! It's the things I don't like to do that are the challenges!
I took down the ceiling and there is already insulation there. There are also wooden slats a new ceiling can attach to. I had thought there were thin pieces of metal like you see holding up office acoustic tiles. This is good. What's bad is it made a big mess and DS never moved his things out of the way despite over a week's notice. This will fuel the narrative in his mind that I don't care about him or his illness since dust and debris fell on his things and having OCD this really bothers him. After I clean up I think the electrician should be next while everything is exposed. For a year the power has been out to his room and the overhead light in this room runs off the same circuit. He has never been ready for the electrician, instead running a power cord up to his room. So even if he is not ready (it could be years) I want to get the light in this room working again. The light is a ceiling fan and may need a box as well to meet code.
Do it today, Yppej, while it's open. You will feel so much better and safer. Just my opinion.
Not sure what you mean by it nswef. I did the cleanup but am not going to pay weekend rates for an electrician.
You're making great progress; keep moving forward.
I realized I probably need to get up on my stepladder with a staple remover to pull out the staples and small bits of acoustic tile clinging to them so the drywall will lay flat when it is put up. That will be my project for next weekend.
happystuff
6-26-21, 2:21pm
Okay... so, reading all these accomplishments has me thinking of a slightly bigger project for this summer. So far, I've just done the gardening. I'm thinking/wanting to remove the old, small deck we have at the back of the house and putting in a patio instead. Less maintenance, cleaner look - in my opinion. Need to talk to dh about it. Haven't checked yet, but is a permit required for de-construction like this? I think my neighbor next door would be able to use the wood in his fire pit so that would be a plus. And I think one set of the stairs up the deck would work as at least temporary stairs to the back door. Thinking.....
Chicken lady
6-26-21, 3:57pm
Is the deck redwood or treated? You don’t want to burn treated wood.
iris lilies
6-26-21, 4:07pm
Okay... so, reading all these accomplishments has me thinking of a slightly bigger project for this summer. So far, I've just done the gardening. I'm thinking/wanting to remove the old, small deck we have at the back of the house and putting in a patio instead. Less maintenance, cleaner look - in my opinion. Need to talk to dh about it. Haven't checked yet, but is a permit required for de-construction like this? I think my neighbor next door would be able to use the wood in his fire pit so that would be a plus. And I think one set of the stairs up the deck would work as at least temporary stairs to the back door. Thinking.....
i can’t see why a permit is needed to remove a deck. But there must be steps involved. Are you keeping some, or building them afresh? Decks, porches,handrails, and supporting structures need permits.
mschrisgo2
6-26-21, 6:55pm
I agree with what Iris Lilies said.
Also agree with removing deck. My neighbor just had hers removed because she didn’t want to re-strain it again this year… she had a concrete patio under it! Didn’t even know it was there, as the deck was there when she bought the house! Deck gone, her yard looks so much nicer, cleaner, less cluttered. In her case, the guys removed it for being able to take the wood, no additional cost to her. Major win-win.
iris lilies
6-26-21, 8:04pm
This talk of removing decks makes me anxious because we had a new one built. Plus there will be $12,000 worth of landscaping stonework to shore up the big little hill. And the ‘stones” will be fake to add insult to injury.
well, it couldn't be helped. The back if our Hermann house looks like suburbia.
not a fan of decks. But we talked about this on another thread.
happystuff
6-26-21, 8:54pm
Not redwood and not treated. I'm thinking it will burn well - lol.Still haven't had a chance to talk to dh about it. Busy weekend already.
The car windshield was replaced yesterday.
I went swimming yesterday and today I emailed off intake forms for counseling. My EAP found a provider and will pay for three sessions. After that I am back to square one as she doesn't take my insurance. They have not been able to find me someone who does.
Had my first telecounseling session. I felt a lot of it was just expressing sympathy towards me and not offering concrete suggestions but some of it was useful.
Yppej, You were heard by the counselor so they can move forward from there. I'm glad you get at least 3 sessions, hopefully more will be coming somehow.
They approved a fourth session.
I got all the staples from the ceiling out of the beams today so the new ceiling will lay flat. It's a big room so it took me awhile.
They approved a fourth session.
Excellent!
I am leaving a note for DS on the bathroom mirror as he uses that sink daily to brush his teeth (except on weekends and holidays when he will not come downstairs because I am home). In it I tell him I will be getting an electrician in, express that it will be beneficial if he cooperates in letting us know if power comes back to his room but will do our best without him if need be (I know which circuit is bad), state other work that I plan to have done, ask if there are additional things he needs done, and give him a time frame. I ask him to reply tomorrow and once I know the scope of work I will call someone to schedule. Moving the ceiling fan from the old ceiling is part of my Solstice to Tonguetwister plan.
I last tried to get an electrician in October 2019 and they didn't meet the promised window so I cancelled and a good thing too because later I found DS had all sorts of empty boxes blocking the circuit breakers. I checked and there is a clear path now. He likes to collect boxes and has probably a couple hundred of them.
I like decks, and I think they are nice for sitting out an having a cup of coffee--have had both deck and patio and preferred the deck.
I much prefer a screened in porch. Too many bugs here to enjoy being out on a deck.
Teacher Terry
7-6-21, 3:30pm
We are mostly bug free here so I like patios.
I had the choice of a patio or deck when I moved into my new house 7 years ago. I chose a brick patio that I use constantly especially first thing early with my coffee before sunrise and in the evening after 6pm with tea.
My reasons for a brick patio vs a deck included: a deck requires regular maintenance and a building permit to erect thereby increasing property tax assessment; stuff grows under decks including weeds, animals; needs annual sealing after power washing to remove mold, needs replacement in part or whole over time. The 16' brick patio did cost more at the outset but I love it.
To be honest and fair today, the deck materials available have improved. The Trex lumber and similar back then was inclined to mold and very slippery in frosty weather so a poor if expensive alternative to any wood which was taboo for me after getting splinters in my butt at friends' homes.
iris lilies
7-6-21, 4:19pm
I had the choice of a patio or deck when I moved into my new house 7 years ago. I chose a brick patio that I use constantly especially first thing early with my coffee before sunrise and in the evening after 6pm with tea.
My reasons for a brick patio vs a deck included: a deck requires regular maintenance and a building permit to erect thereby increasing property tax assessment; stuff grows under decks including weeds, animals; needs annual sealing after power washing to remove mold, needs replacement in part or whole over time. The 16' brick patio did cost more at the outset but I love it.
To be honest and fair today, the deck materials available have improved. The Trex lumber and similar back then was inclined to mold and very slippery in frosty weather so a poor if expensive alternative to any wood which was taboo for me after getting splinters in my butt at friends' homes.
Yes, the maintenance of a wood deck is annoying. I know our deck in Hermann will get old and grungy looking, and DH will no “see” that.
Our patio was free—free labor, free materials since DH had been collecting brick for a decade.20 bricks here, 15 there…always used brick around here for the taking.It is nearly 0 maintenance. It does have weeds growing up between the bricks but that is not hard to control.
It does get slippery with moss at the edges.
I will interject that I was at a party a couple of weeks ago and I just loved the deck (actually the entire home) of the hosts. It was big enough to comfortably hold the 12 of us as well as a good size grill set-up. There were window boxes all along the railings with ever-bearing strawberries loaded with fruit, and we were encouraged to help ourselves. It was a really beautiful setting. We do not have a deck or a patio, and our house isn't well designed for entertaining. That isn't always a bad thing...
As far as progress on my projects is concerned, I have accomplished a lot of nothing. I did buy the wood to repair the bench and a paint sprayer for that project. I also bought some more plants for the front garden, but I'm not really awarding myself any points for buying plants, lol.
Teacher Terry
7-6-21, 7:27pm
I used my patio daily in good weather and always had 2 big parties every summer. Now 3 people can sit on my balcony:)).
Chicken lady
7-6-21, 10:09pm
We are home from vacation and I spent five hours on outside/homestead work today (not counting regular animal chores)
I submitted a request through Home Advisor to get referrals to contractors to install a drywall ceiling. They said there are no matching contractors in my area. My guess is there are none who want small jobs. It's a big room to me - around 300 square feet - but was in the smallest category for drywall on their website.
iris lilies
7-7-21, 12:14pm
I submitted a request through Home Advisor to get referrals to contractors to install a drywall ceiling. They said there are no matching contractors in my area. My guess is there are none who want small jobs. It's a big room to me - around 300 square feet - but was in the smallest category for drywall on their website.
i’m sure your guess is right. It is nearly impossible to get people to do small jobs.
This is why I’m so mad at DH about planning to do so much of the painting and carpentry work in our Herman house. Well it will take a while to get painters and carpenters, once we get them they will come in and do the jobs. He is the guy who can do the tiny jobs that you could never get anyone else to do.
My advice to you JEppy is to focus on finding someone to do it, which you are doing, of course. But find someone who is good, has a good reputation. That comes before price. The good people are going to charge what they’re going to charge.price is secondary to getting good work done these days.
The electrician is coming Monday. Maybe he can refer me to someone.
I also found a couple drywall people with decent reviews, good BBB ratings, licensed, and no complaints with the state. But I do like the trade people recommended by other trade people.
I am going to join this challenge, and get all of my outside potted plants and misc pots and tools and amendments sorted and arranged and/or stored neatly.
I began today by taking my car full of succulents that have outgrown my space to my cousin, who is landscaping a new yard.
Chicken lady
7-8-21, 10:19pm
Another 2hrs 45 minutes on the outdoor homestead goals - bringing me to 7, 45. No progress at all on the studio yet. Still working on recovering from emergency changes and jury rigged solutions caused by a raccoon eating some of my chicks the night before we left on vacation.
iris lilies
7-9-21, 10:52am
I am going to join this challenge, and get all of my outside potted plants and misc pots and tools and amendments sorted and arranged and/or stored neatly.
I began today by taking my car full of succulents that have outgrown my space to my cousin, who is landscaping a new yard.
Today I am sorting and cleaning potted plants as well!
Another 2hrs 45 minutes on the outdoor homestead goals - bringing me to 7, 45. No progress at all on the studio yet. Still working on recovering from emergency changes and jury rigged solutions caused by a raccoon eating some of my chicks the night before we left on vacation.
That is too bad, CL. I'm sorry about your chicks.
Teacher Terry
7-9-21, 5:50pm
CL, so sorry about your chicks.
mschrisgo2
7-9-21, 10:56pm
CL, so sorry about your chicks.
I spent 2 hours this morning before it got too hot ( Northern California). Emptied 4 shelves, threw away the dead and diseased, washed pots, repotted the good plants. Watered. Swept the area.
Several more hours to go.
Had my second of four counseling sessions. I tried to get set up with a local NAMI family support group for when the counseling ends but that trail has gone cold. I spoke with one person once who mentioned someone else was taking over but she hasn't, the first person's number keeps going to a fax now, and I never received the Zoom link. They are still doing virtual meetings though she mentioned in person was better as some can't participate with their ill family member eavesdropping. The long claw of covid is still messing with me.
Chicken lady
7-10-21, 6:48am
Mschrisgo2, you are making good progress!
I watched my grandson yesterday, but still got in an hour on the garden, so 8, 45 on that.
and I did an hour on an online course on meeting the tech requirements for setting up my classes which was exasperating. “Helpful, self directed, self paced” yeah, you know what would be helpful and self paced for me? Text. Could you just turn all of this crap into text so that I could actually read it at my own speed and easily mark and find the things I actually need? That would be very helpful for my learning style and processing. You can leave it online, I’ll print it out myself.
the course is now a 5”x8” index card of instructions, both sides, that I can actually use.
but I get $17 and team player points.
Chicken lady
7-10-21, 6:57am
Oh, the chicks. Thank you for the sympathy. I wish the raccoons would just stay out of the barn. But they are raccoons. I stopped naming most of the chickens years ago (now and then one catches my eye and gets a name) unfortunately you can’t produce food without death. Some of the deaths are just more upsetting than others.
Took the car to the dealer. The windshield washer fluid was not coming out because of a loose hose. I am guessing it was knocked loose during the windshield replacement.
Had my second of four counseling sessions. I tried to get set up with a local NAMI family support group for when the counseling ends but that trail has gone cold. I spoke with one person once who mentioned someone else was taking over but she hasn't, the first person's number keeps going to a fax now, and I never received the Zoom link. They are still doing virtual meetings though she mentioned in person was better as some can't participate with their ill family member eavesdropping. The long claw of covid is still messing with me.
I think NAMI can be a lifesaver for family members of the mentally ill. Hope I will not be wasting your time with information you already have, but have you visited the MA website and looked at all the weekly meetings? If there isn't a functioning one in your area, maybe one in another area that is still meeting online will encourage you to join if ask to do so.
https://namimass.org/nami-family-support-groups/#1595787287461-afb9fd12-4ab8
My experience with groups is that attendance waxes and wanes. It's hard to predict which groups have openings and which are full.
Good luck with maintaining your momentum in getting help.
A lot of them run until 8:30 at night and I'm often in bed then since I get up at 4:30 AM. But the Buddhist temple I have attended off and on through the years is planning to resume services soon and that may help me.
Chicken lady
7-11-21, 9:47pm
Yesterday I put a few minutes in on the studio. I was actually out there for over an hour, but my grandson was “helping” me, so I’m not going to try to count the time. I made a small box of things to take back to school.
today I worked in the basement. I got it straightened up enough to unroll the carpet remnant, so now I have a soft place to sit and work - I’m a “sit on the floor” girl. Since “better” is vague, I am technically done with that goal, but I intend to do more.
The electrician was in today and removed the fan and the last of the old ceiling under it. DS would not answer when I knocked on his door and they could not restore power to his room without getting in there. So I had them rewire the light in the family room so it goes off a different circuit not the one from his room, so my light will work again after it is hooked back up following installation of the new ceiling. (There is a single bulb in there now that they used to test it and it works.) So the only part of the house without power is his room and I was not going to knock down his door or hire a locksmith to get in there.
Now to find a contractor to put up the new ceiling. I want a regular drywall one not acoustic tile which I hate and tore down.
One thing I felt bad about is I told them, "He's not cooperating" instead of "He's not answering". He is so sensitive. I am sure he heard this and it will hurt and shame him. I should have used different language.
A lot of them run until 8:30 at night and I'm often in bed then since I get up at 4:30 AM. But the Buddhist temple I have attended off and on through the years is planning to resume services soon and that may help me.
Even vaccinated attendees will be required to wear masks at the temple although they will be holding services outdoors. I am not interested in that overkill, but will continue to seek out other avenues of support.
rosarugosa
7-13-21, 8:39am
The electrician was in today and removed the fan and the last of the old ceiling under it. DS would not answer when I knocked on his door and they could not restore power to his room without getting in there. So I had them rewire the light in the family room so it goes off a different circuit not the one from his room, so my light will work again after it is hooked back up following installation of the new ceiling. (There is a single bulb in there now that they used to test it and it works.) So the only part of the house without power is his room and I was not going to knock down his door or hire a locksmith to get in there.
Now to find a contractor to put up the new ceiling. I want a regular drywall one not acoustic tile which I hate and tore down.
One thing I felt bad about is I told them, "He's not cooperating" instead of "He's not answering". He is so sensitive. I am sure he heard this and it will hurt and shame him. I should have used different language.
I don't think you need to feel too bad, Jeppy. "He's not cooperating" is a simple statement of fact. You didn't say "he is being a jerk," or anything nasty or insulting.
Thank you RR. The other repairs I have planned should not involve knocking on his door so that much is good.
There is always something to try to derail me from my goals. I gave DS advance notice of the electrician coming in. He has messes all over the house but rather than be embarrassed I decided to proceed anyways. When he did not move things like his wallet and cash I moved them away from where they would be working before they came.
Yesterday I come home and the router is unplugged so no home internet or TV and he tells me that he had important papers in the room they were working in that they stole including the wifi password and his Social Security card. I told him I checked the room beforehand and there was nothing like that visible. He said these were buried in a pile of papers. He also said he got a message from our virus protection software that our firewall had been breached and so we have to get a whole new router which will be here in 2 to 4 days.
He said do not call the police or the electrician company, he is handling everything, and he does not want anyone tipped off. I asked him what will the new router cost and he said don't worry about it. I said the payments to the cable company come out of my account and I want to know and he said he ordered directly it won't come out of my account.
I asked him do I need to change my passwords and he said "Do whatever you want". So I drive several towns away to my parents' house and my brother tries to help me but some things Google will not let me do without my primary device, my tablet. So I drive back home and get it, then back to their house, using their wifi change a bunch of things, then back home again. I also changed my backup person to be notified in case of a data breach from my son to my brother since my son is so difficult and has disowned me.
This situation is so bizarre. It is possible an electrician would randomly search through a pile of papers looking for something valuable - I was not in the room the entire time hovering over the two of them - but I find it unlikely. It feels like a setup, that my son who does not want any repair people in the house, is creating a crisis to try to dissuade me from getting further repairs done. And thinking in his own mind if it does not cost me money for a new router it is OK. Though the inconvenience, the hassle, and the stress is not OK. Among other things there are several e-books I have checked out I will not be able to finish before the due date by missing days of reading.
Either way this is frustrating - if he did have things stolen, that he left them laying around after being advised not to - or if nothing is stolen that he would fake an incident like this because all that matters is his illness, not my desire to get things done. But I am not going to let him control me.
I am still determined to replace the ceiling and I cannot do it myself, I have to hire someone. I left a message for the electrician company owner before all this went down asking is there anyone who recommends to do a ceiling (his employees did not know of anyone but said he might), so I will give it a couple days then try some other places if I do not hear from him.
Does he claim his things are stolen often? (Maybe your ex didn't steal his things at all.) He clearly knows how to manipulate you. I hope you get the situation resolved.
He said do not call the police or the electrician company, he is handling everything, and he does not want anyone tipped off. As you say, bizarre.
iris lilies
7-14-21, 9:52am
jeppy says “…Either way this is frustrating - if he did have things stolen, that he left them laying around after being advised not to - or if nothing is stolen that he would fake an incident like this because all that matters is his illness, not my desire to get things done. But I am not going to let him control me…”
third possibility is that your son honestly believes the stuff is stolen when in fact the things are lying around among piles of papers.
But either way you need to march forward as you are doing. Yes you are right, your time has no meaning to your son. His illness doesn’t allow him to engage in respectful human relations, so that is why you enforce your boundaries. Here your boundary is “son, you don’t get to decide what happens to the physical structure of my house.
It ain’t about you. “
Does he claim his things are stolen often? (Maybe your ex didn't steal his things at all.) He clearly knows how to manipulate you. I hope you get the situation resolved.
He said do not call the police or the electrician company, he is handling everything, and he does not want anyone tipped off. As you say, bizarre.
Yes the ex did steal and continues to steal from him. DS is disabled and entitled to Obama phone service, but the ex continues to use my address after not living here for over 7 years and there is a limit of one service per address. I called the ex and he had his pit bull of a girlfriend call me and she admitted they were doing this and said there is nothing we can do about it because the theft does not involve a credit card or Social Security number. I called the police and she is correct - they wouldn't do anything. DS filed a complaint with the FCC which is the regulatory agency but it didn't clear things up and he hasn't followed up on it. I also upon the advice of the police emailed Welfare (Division of Transitional Assistance) and advised of this, and that he is likely using my address because his girlfriend is using where they live, so they are getting two services at one household, and probably many other benefits they are not entitled to as a double income household because they aren't reporting things accurately. But I never got a response on that either.
Who steals from a disabled person, whilst he is able bodied and working, probably off the books? Only the lowest of a lowlife.
The Obamaphone program has been riddled with more and more fraud. It used to be the service had to be tied to a landline. Now it can be a cell phone. It used to be annual confirmations went by paper to the address on the account to ensure the person still lived there. Now renewal can be done online.
Many people have had their addresses stolen. DS is not the only one.
"Who steals from a disabled person, whilst he is able bodied and working, probably off the books? Only the lowest of a lowlife."
Yikes--you're well rid of that one!
iris lilies
7-14-21, 11:02am
This Obama phone discussion reminds me of the time my multi-million dollar household took advantage of the Obama program that handed out antennas for non-smart TVs.
Gubmnt handouts are wonderful but obviously cannot be thoroughly patrolled because gubmnt.
If they went back to requiring the service be tied to land service most of the problem would be eliminated. DS wanted to use his for a discount on hard wired internet service that can only be used at the house.
I'd like to point out that government-sponsored phones for low-income people were a thing long before President Obama came on the scene.
iris lilies
7-14-21, 11:48am
I'd like to point out that government-sponsored phones for low-income people were a thing long before President Obama came on the scene.
Jane, The Obamaphone recipients got a cell phone well before I got one. The old phone programs did not trump the basic unit in my household. President Obama pushed the grift up a notch, a rather large notch according to my sensibilities.
but then, I DID get my free Obamanntanae, so there’s that.
Chicken lady
7-14-21, 12:36pm
I put two more hours in mulching raspberries. They look good. Up to 10, 45 on the outdoor projects.
Jane, The Obamaphone recipients got a cell phone well before I got one. The old phone programs did not trump the basic unit in my household. President Obama pushed the grift up a notch, a rather large notch according to my sensibilities.
but then, I DID get my free Obamanntanae, so there’s that.
I'm guessing they went to cell phones because a lot of low-income people have unstable housing. I really can't get too exercised about poor people getting a few crumbs of my tax dollars for that kind of thing.
The Obama phones are much nicer than my phone. All I have is talk and text - they get everything. The original rationale was they needed phones to make medical appointments but they got a lot more than is necessary for that. And for deserving people it's not the most wasteful program, but when fraud is reported to the FCC they should do something about it instead of ignore it.
jeppy says “…Either way this is frustrating - if he did have things stolen, that he left them laying around after being advised not to - or if nothing is stolen that he would fake an incident like this because all that matters is his illness, not my desire to get things done. But I am not going to let him control me…”
third possibility is that your son honestly believes the stuff is stolen when in fact the things are lying around among piles of papers.
But either way you need to march forward as you are doing. Yes you are right, your time has no meaning to your son. His illness doesn’t allow him to engage in respectful human relations, so that is why you enforce your boundaries. Here your boundary is “son, you don’t get to decide what happens to the physical structure of my house.
It ain’t about you. “
I think this is a very real possibility, that he honestly believes it because paranoia is a symptom of his mental illness. I really like the boundary words you use here, IL, great choice, accurate and fair.
I maintain that your son needs to go ahead and move out, and you need to do everything possible to make that happen. I would hope he could find some kind of sheltered housing for the mentally ill.
Please protect yourself against his illness, Yppej.
No response from the electrician on a referral for drywall. (I contacted them before the whole theft report from DS.)
I got a name of someone from a roofing company I used a couple years ago and liked and left that contractor a message. Fingers crossed. It is hard to get people nowadays for small jobs.
iris lilies
7-15-21, 1:07pm
No response from the electrician on a referral for drywall. (I contacted them before the whole theft report from DS.)
I got a name of someone from a roofing company I used a couple years ago and liked and left that contractor a message. Fingers crossed. It is hard to get people nowadays for small jobs.
yes it is IMPOSSIBLE to get someone for a small job. Sometimes you can get a guy to do a job off the clock of his regular job.
I reiterate: if you can find someone on whom you have confidence, don’t sweat the price.
The days of getting 3 bids on a job are over.
Someone is coming out Monday afternoon to look at the drywall ceiling job, and I also asked that he check on a crack in the plaster of one of my walls. Yes, I am taking time off work to meet him at his convenience during regular business hours. No, I am not going to get three bids if his price is anywhere reasonable, and I think it will be as he was recommended by a previous contractor I liked.
Since DS has me blocked I called from my work phone and emailed from my work email to let him know so he can move any things of his out of the way, and letting him know what remains I will move this weekend so the person can easily measure, estimate, and hopefully do the job with minimal junk in the way. There are a few pieces of furniture that are probably too big to move through the narrow, nonstandard doorway to another room. I'll see if he can work around them or if I need to get someone to help me move them to the back yard. They had to be wedged sideways to get into the room, as the exterior door is also smaller than normal, though not as bad as the interior door.
DS now has the opportunity to move his things without me touching them. I would have preferred to give him more notice, but I wanted to get the contractor out while he is available. I want to get things done!
iris lilies
7-16-21, 1:53pm
Jeppy I don’t understand what happens if your son doesn’t “let “ a workman in his room to see the job. Can’t he physically keep you out of that room?
For the upcoming job the workman does not need to go in his room but he has messes scattered throughout the house. If the new router is not in place he won't have received my messages (he only has a VOIP phone) so I will let him know tonight when I get home about them coming if that is the case. Due to his OCD he doesn't want anyone touching his things, which is why I give him a heads up about moving them before I do.
For the electrician the bad line needed to be accessed through his room so it remains unfixed. Yes, since he did not open the door he could keep me out, since I chose not to break down the door or hire a locksmith to get in there.
The plasterer is coming tomorrow to put in the new ceiling.
It is frustrating trying to get things done with no home internet and boring with no internet and no TV. DS is being somewhat opaque about the new router. The monthly bill hit my account with no charge for a new router, though possibly it just has not hit yet. He claims he switched it over to his bank account. We'll see next month. In the meantime I am tackling one thing at a time and the internet/TV is not my top priority.
I really hope you can support your son in finding an assisted living situation. The hoops you are jumping through, the situations you live with and the workarounds for his illness and not tenable and not normal accomodations for a housemate. You keep reasoning and negotiating with him as if he was neurotypical and he is not. He needs to be in his own space, and you need to be able to maintain your own house in reasonable condition instead of living with bottles of urine, piles of mess, electrical issues.
I'd just go ahead and hook up the broadband--or have it done professionally.
Blueboard is up but the plastering is pushed off until tomorrow.
I checked the serial number on the router now plugged in and it was the same as the "bad" router but with a cable company box on the floor like it is a new unit that just came in the mail. Confronted DS and he had some story. TV is now working and he said he has to redo the internet settings from going back to factory settings so no one can get into it with the old wifi password. So still no home internet. He denied he was trying to punish me for getting a contractor in.
Plastering is done, internet is back up at home. I will see how the plaster looks when it dries but probably will not paint it, so next step would be getting a different electrician in to reinstall the ceiling fan.
rosarugosa
7-25-21, 7:21pm
I've done a lot of work on the front garden, and I have some pictures to share. I'm trying hard to seduce the pollinators!
3871
3872
3873
3874
3875
iris lilies
7-25-21, 7:27pm
Rosa cannot see images. Can others see?
happystuff
7-25-21, 9:17pm
I'm not able to see them at this point either. I'm guessing if you are attracting pollinators, there must be some pretty flowers/plants!
I can see them, here they are:
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3871
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3872
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3873
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3874
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3875
I can see them, here they are:
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3871
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3872
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3873
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3874
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachmeCannot snt.php?attachmentid=3875
Cannot see them either.
iris lilies
7-25-21, 10:27pm
I can see them, here they are:
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3871
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3872
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3873
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3874
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=3875
u jokin?
rosarugosa
7-26-21, 6:45am
3876
rosarugosa
7-26-21, 6:49am
Trying again:
3877
3878
3879
iris lilies
7-26-21, 9:30am
Trying again:
3877
3878
3879
what a wonderful NE cottage garden! Adorable!
Rosa, so beautiful. I love the dark house against the bright garden.
u jokin?
Nope, I can open the attachments on Rosa's original post, I can see the pics in my post and can even see them in your response. Wondering now why some of you can't.
I can see them in the new posting and the gardens are lovely, RR.
If I did gardens, that would be my kind of garden!
Teacher Terry
7-26-21, 11:40am
Gorgeous garden Rosa!
rosarugosa
7-26-21, 12:09pm
Thanks, everyone!
Usually when I post pictures, I e-mail them to myself from my phone, then save to my desktop, then upload from there. This time, since I had posted the pics on Facebook, I saved to my desktop from there, and then uploaded to SLF. Those were the one that only Alan could see. Then I tried to post one directly from my phone like some kind of modern person, and that showed up sideways. So I went back to my primitive and cumbersome, but effective method. :)
happystuff
7-26-21, 5:28pm
Absolutely beautiful, Rosa!! Excellent! Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful flowers, Rosa!
For context I fled the DC heat and humidity for the Midwest heat and humidity, currently summering in husband's rural hometown.
Right now plans include bartering social media consulting for fresh produce.
Final head count for a family outing to the State Fair.
Looking for thank you gifts to friends checking up on the apartment while we're gone.
Half the ceiling is painted. It is miserable work. Years ago I read that paint goes on sale in the summer when it is hot. Now I know why.
The plasterer told me to use one coat only of a specific primer and paint in one product and I am, but I really wish I were applying the stuff that goes on pink and dries white so I could see more easily what I have and haven't done.
The sheeting Home Depot sold me is way too heavy and I have to hammer it into the wall with tacks to get it to stay up. (The wall is a dark panelling that will not show the marks.) It does keep the paint off the walls, but I got covered in it.
I hope to finish tomorrow and also paint where they patched by the stairway.
You are getting things done, Jeppy! Good for you!
The ceiling is painted but I did not get to the stairs where they patched the plaster.
Trying now to find a different electrician. Looked up online the number of one I know (his kids went to school with my kid in the past) but it is not in service. Emailed a mutual acquaintance to see if she has the number.
Got a number for the side job electrician but my contact has not been in touch with him for years. Left a voice mail. There was no name on the greeting. If no response by tomorrow I will try a regular electrician and have to take time off work, but not this week. 30% of our staff are out this week. People are loving the state mandated family leave benefit and finding all sorts of household members with issues to be with so they don't have to come to work and still get paid.
Still working on getting an electrician after my son said the last one to come out stole from him. The next place I tried the voice mail box was full and not accepting messages. Left a voice mail for another place that advertises "no job too small" and hope to hear back. These are the types of industries that a smart person could consolidate into a national chain and get rich from if they answered the phone in person not with an answering service and scheduled work quickly. Think of the difference between trying to track down a local plumber to clear your clogged drain, a small and messy job the person might not want, vs calling Roto Rooter, a chain built around just that type of work.
iris lilies
8-4-21, 1:12pm
Still working on getting an electrician after my son said the last one to come out stole from him. The next place I tried the voice mail box was full and not accepting messages. Left a voice mail for another place that advertises "no job too small" and hope to hear back. These are the types of industries that a smart person could consolidate into a national chain and get rich from if they answered the phone in person not with an answering service and scheduled work quickly. Think of the difference between trying to track down a local plumber to clear your clogged drain, a small and messy job the person might not want, vs calling Roto Rooter, a chain built around just that type of work.
There are consolidated “Handyman” services now. They may or may not be national, but it doesn’t make much difference because the service provider is all local and it’s probably a franchisee. And it’s all about getting workmen who know what they’re doing. New generation people are not learning these skills. That scares me when I think about it so I don’t think about it.
when Our drain backed up in Herman and DH was not able to Roto router it out because his device wasn’t long enough, we just called a local plumber. Came out right away and cost less than $100. In that case that big tree that sits north of our house was the culprit and I can see that it’s going to be encroaching on sewer lines for the rest of its natural life. It is a lovely tree and I hope it outlives me, and it likely will,But I wish it would keep its root out of my plumbing.
Teacher Terry
8-4-21, 2:46pm
We paid 250 for ours to be roto rooted. After paying a few times we bought a machine for 500.
Continuing to search for a different electrician. Places are 4 to 6 weeks out. Reached out to a former coworker with contacts in the industry and he will see if he can find someone available sooner.
Jeppy: Do you really think it's true that the prior electrician stole your son's papers? It seems like you might be jumping through hoops to accommodate his mental illness in this situation.
Rosa I wasn't in the room the whole time so I don't know.
Relatives arrived last night and I will see them this weekend, a nice ending to this challenge.
iris lilies
8-6-21, 12:21pm
Jeppy: Do you really think it's true that the prior electrician stole your son's papers? It seems like you might be jumping through hoops to accommodate his mental illness in this situation.
I had exactly the same question.
I may land up having to call them back because other people aren't responding. One place said the process is they send me a quote and if I approve it they put me on the list, but it never came through my email. Since my email is tricky and people often get it wrong I submitted a request through their website but have not heard back.
Have not heard back from any of the contacts my former coworker was going to try. He told me on the side jobs he does weekends, which sometimes require electrical support, they call 5 to 6 electricians before they can get one to come out.
What I want done does not require a permit or license, so it shouldn't be as hard as it is. Anyways I am going off to other things and will circle back to this later. Finally got an eye exam booked at a place that will renew my prescription for the lenses I have been wearing for years without a contact lens fitting fee, without making me come back a second time to see how the lenses fit, and will let me take the script and buy online. So that is one thing I actually accomplished.
It's hard because in almost every field there are supply chain issues. Earlier it was raw materials, now it's labor. At my job we have a few slackers and everyone says you just have to put up with it because you can't find anyone to replace them. For example, one guy has used up all his sick and vacation days and continues to call out. He has only been here two days this week. He gets away with it because of the state of the labor market.
Tomorrow I am going to look at furniture in advance of the sales tax holiday and I am dreading it because of the shortages due to lack of foam that goes into anything upholstered, presumably including a mattress which I need.
I thought when we got vaccines and dropped mask mandates we could get back to normal, but the shutdowns really did a number on the economy, and people remain paranoid/lazy and don't want to return to work. If they make more on unemployment why would they?
Found an electrician company that put me on their list for the last week of August. They will call me the week before with a day and time range.
Chicken lady
8-7-21, 7:15am
And here we are.
this is how I did -
good amount of time in the garden, although I stopped tracking.
lots of canning and drying and generally using and storing of garden produce. Chicken tractor just needs a couple of adjustments (new wheels still in box and one nest box to install) noticeable if not impressive progress.
Basically nothing on the pottery studio
minuscule progress in the scullery.
basement might be a tad worse
welcome letters and materials lists up online for classes, started prework for one class.
had a conversation yesterday with Dh who told me I seem happy this summer. I told him I am pleased with what I am doing, but I hate that I can’t do all the things.
And here we are.
this is how I did -
good amount of time in the garden, although I stopped tracking.
lots of canning and drying and generally using and storing of garden produce. Chicken tractor just needs a couple of adjustments (new wheels still in box and one nest box to install) noticeable if not impressive progress.
Basically nothing on the pottery studio
minuscule progress in the scullery.
basement might be a tad worse
welcome letters and materials lists up online for classes, started prework for one class.
had a conversation yesterday with Dh who told me I seem happy this summer. I told him I am pleased with what I am doing, but I hate that I can’t do all the things.
Sounds like you accomplished quite a bit and it's nice to read that you are happy. Congrats!
Teacher Terry
8-7-21, 11:48pm
Congrats CL. You are accomplishing a lot!!
Here is my update:
Make some significant progress on the cupboard restoration - not done, but I have changed goals and decided that I really need to just hire a contractor and get the frigging kitchen done in my lifetime. I have taken the first step of selecting and reaching out to a contractor, but this is going to be a whole process in itself in the current market. Stay tuned!
Repair one of the outdoor benches (one board is rotting out or being eaten by insects or something; it has a soft and spongy area) - done
Stain outdoor benches and tables (yes, I did complete this last year but it needs to be done again. DH has suggested that we get a paint sprayer, which might make this a less unpleasant task). - purchased sprayer but have not stained the items yet
Continue work on revamping front flower garden (I want more color and lots of bees!) - done, and it's the most beautiful it's ever been, very pleased with the outcome
Congrats, Rosa! You've accomplished a lot!
All mine are done and I already have goals in mind for the next interval.
Rosa, can you post a picture of your garden?? Love that you wanted more bees!!!
Teacher Terry
8-8-21, 1:33pm
Rosa, great idea to hire a professional for the kitchen.
iris lilies
8-8-21, 1:52pm
I cannot emphasize enough to you the relief, joy and satisfaction in getting “ the frigging kitchen done in my lifetime.”
ours took around 8 years.
my living room took 20 years to complete.
been there, done that, like paying contractors.
You are right that selecting a contractor is a journey. Are you getting cabinets from a major vendor? Starting today, you are probably a year away from a finished product.
Good luck to you Rosa. The very thought of that big a project intimidates me. If I ever get to my kitchen I will probably try for a custom cabinetmaker to fix up and supplement what I have based on suggestions in these forums, then maybe tackle the countertops at a future time. I applaud you for dealing with the whole shebang at once.
iris lilies
8-9-21, 11:14am
Rosa, can you post a picture of your garden?? Love that you wanted more bees!!!
She posted her garden on another thread it was really pretty.
She posted her garden on another thread it was really pretty.
Ahhhhh... I remember now. I did see it and, yes, it was really pretty! Thanks.
mschrisgo2
8-10-21, 2:57am
Well, I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped on my succulent garden cleanup. Thinned out a car load to my cousin, got both big shelves cleaned up- 3 days of work on this project and the brutal Hot Summer hit us and hasn’t left yet. Plus we now have Smoke. Realistically, I have about 4 hours of work left to do. And I’m watching for a slightly cooler morning to jump on it.
rosarugosa
8-10-21, 7:39am
I cannot emphasize enough to you the relief, joy and satisfaction in getting “ the frigging kitchen done in my lifetime.”
ours took around 8 years.
my living room took 20 years to complete.
been there, done that, like paying contractors.
You are right that selecting a contractor is a journey. Are you getting cabinets from a major vendor? Starting today, you are probably a year away from a finished product.
IL: Not sure about the cabinets yet, but we had selected something we liked a few years ago from Thomasville. It doesn't look like the same product is still available, but we're just looking for something sturdy, simple and white, so I'm sure we'll find something we like well enough.
If I were doing a white kitchen right now, I would use IKEA cabinets. Have used them in the past and even assembled them myself--they are that easy. Great product. And you can go look at them at your store in Mass.
Teacher Terry
8-10-21, 3:23pm
I have a white kitchen that the previous owner did with black granite countertops. I love it. They did a matching built in hutch in the dining room. That hutch gives me lots of storage and enabled me to remove all the overhead kitchen cabinets to really open up the space.
I had exactly the same question.
After the new electrician decided to push me off another week I decided to listen to you, Rosa, and my counselor and called the original electrician who will be coming Monday.
Yes, I do listen to other people sometimes :)
rosarugosa
8-19-21, 6:56am
After the new electrician decided to push me off another week I decided to listen to you, Rosa, and my counselor and called the original electrician who will be coming Monday.
Yes, I do listen to other people sometimes :)
I'm so glad you will be able to get this completed!
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