Lack of a thank you from my goddaughter for gifts

[Tradd]

My goddaughter turned 16 recently. She had asked for an iPad. She is into art and wanted to be able to do digital art. I told her mom about refurbished ones from Apple. They ended up getting one generation back which allowed purchase of an iPad with larger memory. I had told goddaughter’s mom I’d kick in $100. Both sets of grandparents also kicked in, as well as her parents.

I was not there for the birthday celebration as it was held on a weekday night. I cannot get to their house at a reasonable hour on a weeknight due to traffic and distance.

I didn’t get a thank you from my goddaughter. At all. I brought it up with her mom, who said it was probably her (the mom’s) fault as she’s bad with thank you notes. I told her a text from goddaughter was fine. Mom said she is very shy and doesn’t even talk to family much. I told her goddaughter didn’t have to call me. A text was fine.

I had missed her birthday and Christmas last year due to covid. Nothing at all. So earlier this spring, I sent her $100. No thank you for that either. If I’m not present, no thank you. But I think I’ve gotten the message through to her mom. It’s just basic manners.

[Yppej]

Why get the mother in the middle? At 16 you can raise the issue with the goddaughter herself.

[Tradd]

Haha. Funny timing. I just got a text from goddaughter thanking me for her birthday gift. :D

[herbgeek]

nm no longer relevant

[iris lilies]

$100 cold cash deserves acknowledgement.

[catherine]

I have gotten a hint from the "younger generation" that thank you notes are "old school." I'm shocked. I think these young-uns need some modern day Emily Post to set them straight. So, Tradd, your goddaughter isn't the only one. And the ironic thing is, thank-you's are so much easier now! To your point, just shoot a brief text! Or even just an emoji! Shoot--many of us have spent hours tracking down addresses and writing personal notes to hundreds of people after our weddings. Not only that but we walked to school up hill in blizzards, both ways.

[frugal-one]

Sent a box via mail recently to GD. Son videoed her responses.. not FaceTime. Don't even know if she knew it was from us. No thank yous. Same at Christmas. GD commented once that she was to only thank her other grandparents. Sure GD's mother is telling her daughter to be like this. Mother is a covert narcissist and would be happy if we were out of the picture. I am sure she is abusing DS too. I witnessed it once but was so shocked I did not say anything (regretfully). Sad to say the least. The saga continues unfortunately.