Playing nicely in the sandbox with others

[rosarugosa]

I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but this seems like as good a place as any since we are a community here and my topic certainly involves relationships.
I'll start by saying that I just HATE it when we lose members, and I really hope Chickenlady isn't gone for good. I value every member of this forum, which includes those who seem to have a lot in common with me as well as those who don't. I can certainly be offensive if I want to be, but that isn't a skill I'm trying to cultivate, lol. I love the Gashlycrumb Tinies and I even have the t-shirt, but I kind of keep that side of me to myself here because I know it would offend many of the people I value. I make no secret of my atheism and dislike of the Catholic church, but I don't harp on it out of respect for forum members who are religious as another example. There are other places and groups where I can get into that stuff when and if I want.
I really enjoy hearing different viewpoints and I don't want to live in an echo chamber, so I try to get along with others and focus on commonalities rather than differences, or discuss differences respectfully and then move on.
Tybee, I paid attention to your thoughts on how it's better to address people directly rather than obliquely in the third person. I will work on that one. I think at least for me, it's a preferred method of confrontation for those who are non-confrontational, but perhaps not a good one.
I've been working on trying to avoid name-calling. I was deeply disturbed last fall when some folks (not necessarily here) were referencing "Dementia Joe" and "Heels-up Harris." I decided that I was no better if I talked about Trump in terms of his hair or orange-ness, especially when there were so many more relevant points of criticism (actually an embarrassment of riches there). I think the recent scuffle between Kellie and Tradd would have been less awful without the name-calling. I'm really glad they were able to make up and move past it.
Jeppy, I get the sense that you are a very hard-working person who tries to play by the rules, and that you get angry and frustrated with others when you feel that they aren't playing fair or according to the same standards you have set for yourself. Sometimes you really lash out, and you have been responsible for driving members away (Ultralight comes immediately to mind). I wish so much that you wouldn't do that. Every time someone leaves the forum, our group becomes a bit less vibrant and interesting.
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening. :)

[razz]

I really like this SLForum which has taught me so much and I enjoy coming here and reading what others think. I do find it hard when people leave because each contributes in unique ways.
Your gentle post, RR, says it well.

[pinkytoe]

I bite my tongue a lot simply because I don't like confrontation or arguing in any format.

[happystuff]

Nice post, rr. I hope something good comes of it.

[Teacher Terry]

You are right Rosa that losing members diminishes our community. I definitely could improve on being nicer.

[Klunick]

I dipped my toes in the Covid threads lately and decided it's best to stay away. People have strong opinions on the mask vs no mask thing and things get dense in those threads. I already made one blunder when I first came and thought someone was being rude to me, lashed out, and then realized they weren't even talking to me and had to apologize. Want to avoid a repeat and when tension is high, best to stay away so I don't even read the Covid threads much anymore. I respect other's opinions and realize there are some who don't give that same courtesy. That is fine and I learned to not engage.

No idea what happened with Chickenlady as I don't recall reading many of her posts but I hope once tempers cool and feelings heal, she will be back.

[catherine]

Thanks for posting this. I get really sad when members leave because of nastiness (real or perceived). I could name at least a dozen people that I truly wish were still here.

[Yppej]

I agree it is best to address members directly. Even if they have you on their ignore list if they think you may be responding to something they've written and decide to take a look at it, it is easy to click on the show post button to see that particular post while continuing to ignore all your other posts.

So to make snarky posts about a person thinking they will never see is not playing nice in the sandbox because they (see how I'm trying out they singular) just might. Better to IM that person and address them directly.

I get the sense though that a lot of those types of posts were intended all along to play to the peanut (or the ice cream) gallery.

[Chicken lady]

Not leaving forever, not mad, snarky post was more of a soliloquy because I really thought Yppej couldn’t see it, but honestly I don’t say things behind people’s backs - I was always aware someone could quote it and bring it into view, but I wouldn’t have addressed Yppej directly on the subject because I don’t think there is any point.

I am going to be around less again (though as klunick pointed out, I haven’t been around as much as I used to anyway) because whatever her tone or intent - Yppej had a very good point (Yppej, you had a very good point.) when I am here engaging in unproductive arguments or debates or even reading and chatting on threads that are not directly related to my goals, I am not making progress on those goals. So, if I am around and see a chance to help, I’ll speak up. If I think someone here could help me, I’ll ask. And meanwhile I’ve sorted an inch and a half of paper out of my lesson plan and records files.

carry on. Try to keep the cats out of the sand box. ;)

[iris lilies]

Not leaving forever, not mad, snarky post was more of a soliloquy because I really thought Yppej couldn’t see it, but honestly I don’t say things behind people’s backs - I was always aware someone could quote it and bring it into view, but I wouldn’t have addressed Yppej directly on the subject because I don’t think there is any point.

I am going to be around less again (though as klunick pointed out, I haven’t been around as much as I used to anyway) because whatever her tone or intent - Yppej had a very good point (Yppej, you had a very good point.) when I am here engaging in unproductive arguments or debates or even reading and chatting on threads that are not directly related to my goals, I am not making progress on those goals. So, if I am around and see a chance to help, I’ll speak up. If I think someone here could help me, I’ll ask. And meanwhile I’ve sorted an inch and a half of paper out of my lesson plan and records files.

carry on. Try to keep the cats out of the sand box. ;)

Chicken lady I never thought you were going to leave for good. But I have to say that I personally do not think I’m going to do much to “help “anyone unless they ask specifically about Iris, lilies, or bulldogs. Certainly I can yammer about many topics in life, but I don’t know if that’s especially helpful. It is helpful for ME though as this space acts as my journal as well as the daily coffee klatch.

People got mad and left our coffee klatch and that doesn’t mean that we weren’t regretful of their absence, but perhaps it just wasn’t for them after a while. I mean it literally that we did have people who left our Sunday morning IRL coffee klatch. That group was also the group that held occasional world cuisine dinners, so was a pretty nice group.

[Yppej]

I think most people - certainly Ultralight - dished out as much as they got back, and every so often he returns with a flurry of 20 posts or so all about him before taking off again. The one exception is Geila who was extremely sensitive, not a characteristic that makes it easy to be in an online community.

[rosarugosa]

I think most people - certainly Ultralight - dished out as much as they got back, and every so often he returns with a flurry of 20 posts or so all about him before taking off again. The one exception is Geila who was extremely sensitive, not a characteristic that makes it easy to be in an online community.

I believe initially he gave as good as he got, because he did seem to enjoy a good verbal debate. But at least to my recollection, you eventually bludgeoned him to death with the shovel of him availing himself of the perfectly legal student loan forgiveness program.

[Yppej]

I believe initially he gave as good as he got, because he did seem to enjoy a good verbal debate. But at least to my recollection, you eventually bludgeoned him to death with the shovel of him availing himself of the perfectly legal student loan forgiveness program.

Legal is not the same as ethical. And if you want the taxpayers covering your raft of useless esoteric degrees it's not wise to throw in their faces your international jetsetting lifestyle. He is the sort of person who stirs up white working class resentment that got Trump elected.

[rosarugosa]

Well apartment-dwelling ANM or Ultralight might think the deductibility of home mortgage interest on federal taxes isn't ethical either, but I've always been OK with it and you probably were too. It's not always so cut and dry. UL lived a very frugal/minimal existence and spent his money on travel because he valued travel above many things. Would he be more ethical if he used his savings to fix up an old house like you and I do instead of spending it on travel? He shared his experiences with us. I never perceived that he was throwing anything in my face, but apparently you perceived it differently.
Anyway, I miss his participation because he is one of those people whose life is so different from my own, and I enjoyed hearing about his perspective and his experiences. I did not take issue with his life's choices because I am comfortable with my own.

[catherine]

Well apartment-dwelling ANM or Ultralight might think the deductibility of home mortgage interest on federal taxes isn't ethical either, but I've always been OK with it and you probably were too. It's not always so cut and dry. UL lived a very frugal/minimal existence and spent his money on travel because he valued travel above many things. Would he be more ethical if he used his savings to fix up an old house like you and I do instead of spending it on travel? He shared his experiences with us. I never perceived that he was throwing anything in my face, but apparently you perceived it differently.
Anyway, I miss his participation because he is one of those people whose life is so different from my own, and I enjoyed hearing about his perspective and his experiences. I did not take issue with his life's choices because I am comfortable with my own.

I agree. And frankly, I appreciated the fact that he represented a different generation, like ApatheticNoMore.

[GeorgeParker]

The main problem with this forum is that far too many of the most frequent posters (and you know who you are) spend way too much time in the bottom three layers of this pyramid and are far too eager to read anything they disagree with as though it was written with the worst possible tone and intent.

3908

The other problem is that people often say totally incorrect things, and no one has the balls to correct them because they know they'll get slammed with responses that are almost totally in the bottom three layers of that pyramid. Worse yet, even when people post messages agreeing with the incorrect information, no one stands up and says "What you just said isn't true". Why? Probably because they're afraid of the flame war that will result if they speak up.

That's why I went into deep lurk mode and never post here anymore. Someone accused me of leaving because I "couldn't stand the heat", but after spending most of my life in warehouses and construction sites, I assure you I can both stand and generate more heat than most of you have ever encountered. I simply choose to not engage in pointless arguments or post in forums where people routinely berate me for things I've never said, positions I don't hold, or attitudes I don't have. Various people here have done that simply because they read everything they disagree with as though it was written in the worst possible tone and with the worst possible intentions.

If anyone wants concrete examples of what I'm talking about, keep reading. Otherwise good bye, and thank you for reading this far. Responses to this post are welcome and will be read, but I won't respond to them for the reasons I just stated.

Here is a perfect example of obviously incorrect information that someone agreed with and nobody challenged:



My basic question is: what is big tech media?

Is Facebook “media? “ Is instagram “media?”

They were set up by Congress as tech platforms. They are not authorized to produce content.
I agree, to my level of understanding, that this may have been their original plan.

If they were set up by Congress, does Congress have some means of managing them such an banking, etc? It seems that FB and Google agree that their present presence has grown way beyond the parameters originally envisioned by Congress but they have no interest in finding a way of managing this growth so as not to exclude their sources.

Facebook and other social media are not government departments or government entities, nor were they "authorized" to do certain things. They are companies and the question being debated by government at all levels is this: Should they be treated like newspapers and other publications that can be held responsible for what they publish (including the content of the letters to the editor column) or should they be treated like telephone companies and ISPs that are simple pipelines and bear no responsibility what their customer transmit, or do we need to make new laws defining social media as a new creature with partial responsibility and partial immunity?


And this thread is an example where a reasonable (but cliched) statement was made, I posted a polite logical reply, and happystuff posted a snarky reply claiming the first line of my post was actually saying the opposite of what it said:


I agree. I always say that something is only worth as much as you able to find someone to pay for it at the time you are selling it.


That's not true. The real value of a thing is the price at which both a buyer and a seller would be willing to make the transaction.

If a buyer wants the object and the owner wants to keep it, the buyer would have to offer more than the thing is objectively worth to induce the owner to sell it. Likewise if the owner wants to get rid of an object but few buyers are available, the owner would have to sell it for less than it is objectively worth to induce someone to buy it.

For example: If you want to own a book but aren't willing to pay the retail price, you'll wait until it goes on sale or until you find a used copy at a price you're willing to pay. OTOH if you own that book and you like it, a neighbor who sees it on your bookshelf and wants to buy it from you would have to offer more than the retail price. Why? Because you know it will take you time and effort to find and buy a replacement copy. So even though the actual value of the book on the open market doesn't change, how much a buyer is willing to pay and how little a seller is willing to sell for both depend on motivation and both values may be different from the current market price.

And the objective value of the book to any potential buyer may be different from all three of those buy-sell values. For example the factory-issued repair manual for a specific motorcycle would have great value to someone who does mechanical work on that motorcycle, but no value at all to a french chef. So even the retail price in a bookstore may be more or less than its objective value to a buyer.


It is true - "something is only worth as much as *I* (changing from "you") am able to find someone to pay for it at the time *I* (changing from "you") am selling it.

(Didn't read the rest of your post as I believe we are actually agreeing here and you just wanted to ramble on.)


You should have read the rest of my post, which explains for the benefit of people like you why that first sentence is true.

MAIN POINT: What something is "worth" to a person who owns it isn't the same as what it is "worth" to a potential buyer, and what it is "worth" on the open market may be different from both those prices for various reasons.

No, we don't agree, because you insist on seeing the value of a thing only in terms of what a seller can get for it in the open market on a given day in a given location. That is market price, not value.

I said what I said and I stand by it. I write and think in a journalist or academic style. The first line states an opinion or replies to what someone has said. the following lines explain in detail why I hold that opinion. And the final lines acknowledge potential counter arguments and explain why I disagree with them. If a person disagrees with my first line and wants to reply, they should at least read far enough to be sure they understand what my first line meant why I hold that opinion. If instead they post a snarky reply saying they only read the first line because they think the rest of my post is just me "rambling on", then they deserve and will get a snarky reply.

[Yppej]

Well apartment-dwelling ANM or Ultralight might think the deductibility of home mortgage interest on federal taxes isn't ethical either, but I've always been OK with it and you probably were too. It's not always so cut and dry. UL lived a very frugal/minimal existence and spent his money on travel because he valued travel above many things. Would he be more ethical if he used his savings to fix up an old house like you and I do instead of spending it on travel? He shared his experiences with us. I never perceived that he was throwing anything in my face, but apparently you perceived it differently.
Anyway, I miss his participation because he is one of those people whose life is so different from my own, and I enjoyed hearing about his perspective and his experiences. I did not take issue with his life's choices because I am comfortable with my own.

His income was higher than mine, so his poor me my only enjoyment in life is travel wasn't true. At one point he was eating out at Chipotle every day, and he would fly women out to meet him where he lived rather than adjust his criteria so local women would qualify as dating partners.

I probably spend less on housing than he does. I am only posting about repairs a lot lately as I have a backlog from not doing any for a few years. Some posts I am gathering opinions and don't make a repair. Also, my parents gave me a gift towards the ceiling repair. I didn't not pay my debts or ask the government or taxpayers to cover my debts so I could replace the ceiling. I didn't try to file a homeowners insurance claim either. I did a lot of the labor myself removing the old ceiling tiles, the staples in the beams, and the crown molding and painting the new ceiling.

So you're right, I am very different from him. Totally different.

ETA and I don't remember taking the home mortgage deduction because my home/mortgage was so low in value I was better off with the standard deduction. Maybe for one year at the beginning, but I quickly caught on to the fact it is better to be debt free and lose a deduction that is only a fraction of the interest you pay, than to pay all that interest for the deduction. In my state renters get a rental deduction on their state income taxes but homeowners don't get any state income tax deduction. Maybe in other states renters can say life isn't fair but not here.

[frugal-one]

The main problem with this forum is that far too many of the most frequent posters (and you know who you are) spend way too much time in the bottom three layers of this pyramid and are far too eager to read anything they disagree with as though it was written with the worst possible tone and intent.

3908

The other problem is that people often say totally incorrect things, and no one has the balls to correct them because they know they'll get slammed with responses that are almost totally in the bottom three layers of that pyramid. Worse yet, even when people post messages agreeing with the incorrect information, no one stands up and says "What you just said isn't true". Why? Probably because they're afraid of the flame war that will result if they speak up.

That's why I went into deep lurk mode and never post here anymore. Someone accused me of leaving because I "couldn't stand the heat", but after spending most of my life in warehouses and construction sites, I assure you I can both stand and generate more heat than most of you have ever encountered. I simply choose to not engage in pointless arguments or post in forums where people routinely berate me for things I've never said, positions I don't hold, or attitudes I don't have. Various people here have done that simply because they read everything they disagree with as though it was written in the worst possible tone and with the worst possible intentions.

If anyone wants concrete examples of what I'm talking about, keep reading. Otherwise good bye, and thank you for reading this far. Responses to this post are welcome and will be read, but I won't respond to them for the reasons I just stated.

Here is a perfect example of obviously incorrect information that someone agreed with and nobody challenged:



Facebook and other social media are not government departments or government entities, nor were they "authorized" to do certain things. They are companies and the question being debated by government at all levels is this: Should they be treated like newspapers and other publications that can be held responsible for what they publish (including the content of the letters to the editor column) or should they be treated like telephone companies and ISPs that are simple pipelines and bear no responsibility what their customer transmit, or do we need to make new laws defining social media as a new creature with partial responsibility and partial immunity?


And this thread is an example where a reasonable (but cliched) statement was made, I posted a polite logical reply, and happystuff posted a snarky reply claiming the first line of my post was actually saying the opposite of what it said:









I said what I said and I stand by it. I write and think in a journalist or academic style. The first line states an opinion or replies to what someone has said. the following lines explain in detail why I hold that opinion. And the final lines acknowledge potential counter arguments and explain why I disagree with them. If a person disagrees with my first line and wants to reply, they should at least read far enough to be sure they understand what my first line meant why I hold that opinion. If instead they post a snarky reply saying they only read the first line because they think the rest of my post is just me "rambling on", then they deserve and will get a snarky reply.

I didn't miss your holier than thou posts and verbose soliliquies.

[razz]

I have been writing a reply and quickly hit delete... deciding it is not worth it. I am not into confrontation either.

I have been doing this as well. It seems that the wisest move is to simply decline to respond to posts that that are angry or obsessed on a particular topic. Probably, we do that in RL in most situations.

[frugal-one]

I have been doing this as well. It seems that the wisest move is to simply decline to respond to posts that that are angry or obsessed on a particular topic. Probably, we do that in RL in most situations.

Didn't delete that one fast enough...

[happystuff]

It seems that the wisest move is to simply decline to respond to posts that that are angry or obsessed on a particular topic. Probably, we do that in RL in most situations.

I've been doing this as well. For me, it has been a good personal practice; no need to block/ignore, just skip/decline to respond.

[pinkytoe]

Like my Momma used to say..."if you can't say something nice..."

[bae]

Like my Momma used to say..."if you can't say something nice..."


…. Come sit next to me!

[iris lilies]

…. Come sit next to me!
hahah yep. Good old Dorothy Parker knew human nature.

[LDAHL]

I miss Ultralight. He was a lot of fun, and never took the view that opinions contrary to his own were necessarily evil, ignorant and “an existential threat to our democracy”. But he did enjoy a good debate. I wish he would come back.

I don’t avoid posters who might offend me or be offended by me. I do avoid the boring ones though.

[iris lilies]

I miss Ultralight. He was a lot of fun, and never took the view that opinions contrary to his own were necessarily evil, ignorant and “an existential threat to our democracy”. But he did enjoy a good debate. I wish he would come back.

I don’t avoid posters who might offend me or be offended by me. I do avoid the boring ones though.

yes, I miss Ultralite too. He was usually entertaining.

I agree with you. “Do not bore me” is the first rule of Iris lilies in forum discourse and forum friend. You can be insulting or annoying, but as long as you are clever in your retorts, I will read your stuff.

[Yppej]

GeorgeParker some people can't follow long posts. They have adult ADD or reading comprehension difficulties. Paul Simon refers to a "short little span of attention" in his song You Can Call Me Al. In the song the character recognizes this about himself, but IRL a lot of people are not that self-aware. (Though I do have one coworker who admits it, saying he's like a squirrel distracted by any shiny object.)

[Tybee]

I definitely see how some people enjoy sparring and retorts, and others do not, so it's safe to say that people come to the forum for different reasons, looking for different things. I'm a big one for looking for support and community, and others are looking for "a good fight" and an exercise of wit. So there are definitely conflicting preferences and expectations at work.

[Klunick]

GeorgeParker some people can't follow long posts. They have adult ADD or reading comprehension difficulties. Paul Simon refers to a "short little span of attention" in his song You Can Call Me Al. In the song the character recognizes this about himself, but IRL a lot of people are not that self-aware. (Though I do have one coworker who admits it, saying he's like a squirrel distracted by any shiny object.)

Or it could be that some just don't care enough about what people are writing or that long posts tend to be a lot of repetition and it bores them if the topic has little to no interest to the person.

[Yppej]

Or it could be that some just don't care enough about what people are writing or that long posts tend to be a lot of repetition and it bores them if the topic has little to no interest to the person.

In that case I would think they would just not read the post. When they attack the poster I think it is out of a sense of inadequacy.

[rosarugosa]

The main problem with this forum is that far too many of the most frequent posters (and you know who you are) spend way too much time in the bottom three layers of this pyramid and are far too eager to read anything they disagree with as though it was written with the worst possible tone and intent.

3908

The other problem is that people often say totally incorrect things, and no one has the balls to correct them because they know they'll get slammed with responses that are almost totally in the bottom three layers of that pyramid. Worse yet, even when people post messages agreeing with the incorrect information, no one stands up and says "What you just said isn't true". Why? Probably because they're afraid of the flame war that will result if they speak up.

That's why I went into deep lurk mode and never post here anymore. Someone accused me of leaving because I "couldn't stand the heat", but after spending most of my life in warehouses and construction sites, I assure you I can both stand and generate more heat than most of you have ever encountered. I simply choose to not engage in pointless arguments or post in forums where people routinely berate me for things I've never said, positions I don't hold, or attitudes I don't have. Various people here have done that simply because they read everything they disagree with as though it was written in the worst possible tone and with the worst possible intentions.

If anyone wants concrete examples of what I'm talking about, keep reading. Otherwise good bye, and thank you for reading this far. Responses to this post are welcome and will be read, but I won't respond to them for the reasons I just stated.

Here is a perfect example of obviously incorrect information that someone agreed with and nobody challenged:



Facebook and other social media are not government departments or government entities, nor were they "authorized" to do certain things. They are companies and the question being debated by government at all levels is this: Should they be treated like newspapers and other publications that can be held responsible for what they publish (including the content of the letters to the editor column) or should they be treated like telephone companies and ISPs that are simple pipelines and bear no responsibility what their customer transmit, or do we need to make new laws defining social media as a new creature with partial responsibility and partial immunity?


And this thread is an example where a reasonable (but cliched) statement was made, I posted a polite logical reply, and happystuff posted a snarky reply claiming the first line of my post was actually saying the opposite of what it said:









I said what I said and I stand by it. I write and think in a journalist or academic style. The first line states an opinion or replies to what someone has said. the following lines explain in detail why I hold that opinion. And the final lines acknowledge potential counter arguments and explain why I disagree with them. If a person disagrees with my first line and wants to reply, they should at least read far enough to be sure they understand what my first line meant why I hold that opinion. If instead they post a snarky reply saying they only read the first line because they think the rest of my post is just me "rambling on", then they deserve and will get a snarky reply.

I miss your contributions, George.

[Klunick]

In that case I would think they would just not read the post. When they attack the poster I think it is out of a sense of inadequacy.

I imagine they start reading the post, see it's a bunch of ramblings, and then move on to another post.

[Yppej]

I continue to be surprised by how many people read and react to my posts. People will say they're going to ignore me or not respond, but they just can't help themselves. It reminds me of some of the lyrics from the Eminem song "Without Me":

'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

Well, I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna, tune it in, and then I'm gonna
Enter in, and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling

Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

So everybody, just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy
'Cause it feels so empty without me

[Chicken lady]

Hi Yppej,

There are definitely those who enjoy arguing with you, including those who were honest enough to tell me so when I asked. I do not. I also don’t enjoy watching it - as my grandmother used to say “take it outside.” (However, as this is not my house I can only take myself outside.)

While I do not think you intended to help me, you did. Making me take a hard look at my decisions was actually much more suited to me than attempting to kindly interpret and evaluate them for me as others have done. I am sorry I have no way to return the favor.

so, when I saw you on this thread, I thought I would come say goodby. If you need to talk to me again, you could try a message. I’m not sure how much I’ll be around, but I’m unlikely to open a thread with your name on it. There are still a few conversations I’m enjoying, but out of frustration I went looking for a new forum and I found one where the homeowner does send people outside, so I’ll see how long they put up with me.

[happystuff]

There are still a few conversations I’m enjoying, but out of frustration I went looking for a new forum and I found one where the homeowner does send people outside, so I’ll see how long they put up with me.

Chicken lady, I'm also looking around, if you don't mind - would you private message me the new forum? If you don't want to, I will understand. Thanks in either case.

[frugal-one]

Sad that the mentally ill narcissist is sending folks away.

[happystuff]

Sad that the mentally ill narcissist is sending folks away.

No one gets credit for "sending me away" - lol. My decisions/choices. But I get what you are saying.

[Yppej]

Sad that the mentally ill narcissist is sending folks away.

Another doctor in the house making diagnoses! Too bad it's not Dr. Dre. He would appreciate lyrics by Eminem. These ones look like they fit your mean girl post -

"Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothing comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish"

[jp1]

Another doctor in the house making diagnoses! Too bad it's not Dr. Dre. He would appreciate lyrics by Eminem. These ones look like they fit your mean girl post -

"Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
But nothing comes out when they move their lips
Just a bunch of gibberish"

Sad that this is your response to people saying that you are driving them away from this site. Will you feel pride in your ‘mean girl-ness’ if you succeed in completely driving everyone away from here, or will you be sad that there’s no one left to listen to your pathetic anti mask screechiness?

[sweetana3]

No one should ever be driven away by any other member because of posts. Just use the "ignore" function on the forum and you can just roll on by. If you find an interest in their opinion later, you can "un-ignore" them easily.

[Yppej]

Sad that this is your response to people saying that you are driving them away from this site. Will you feel pride in your ‘mean girl-ness’ if you succeed in completely driving everyone away from here, or will you be sad that there’s no one left to listen to your pathetic anti mask screechiness?

I was labelled mentally ill because someone disagrees with me on mask policy. That's very mean girl. Are you at all worried about her driving me away?

[herbgeek]

No, you were labelled OCD because you have written hundreds and hundreds of posts on the same thing on dozens and dozens of threads.

[Yppej]

No, you were labelled OCD because you have written hundreds and hundreds of posts on the same thing on dozens and dozens of threads.

I was called a "mentally ill narcissist".

[Teacher Terry]

Yppej, I honestly used to enjoy your posts and contributions to this forum. I really hope you can find your way back to happiness and peace in your life.

[gimmethesimplelife]

This has been a very interesting thread for me. As anyone who's been here for awhile knows, I myself am no stranger to controversy on this board. One of my lesser admirable qualities is that I am very opinionated, though I've learned to compartmentalize this (sometimes. Meaning at work you'd never know) - unfortunately I let loose with some of my opionionation (is that even a word?) on this board which led to conflict.

I really miss Tammy's posts and I liked Maria's posts and their sensitivity. When these two left no one had to say anything to me - I realized that this was not the proper venue for strong opinions of a continual bashing nature (such as my many posts regarding the police). I still hold the same opinions - but do I need to go on and on and on about them? I don't like to think that as a long term poster here (since 2005) the conflict I am responsible for may have driven some posters away. So I dropped what at least I consider posts that could lead to conflict. It's better for this board that way and honestly, there are several topics that I have gone on and on and on and on about - time to give it a rest, no? The world is not that one dimensional.

Just some thoughts. I wish the human race could get along with one another better and respect our differences more. Rob

[gimmethesimplelife]

No, you were labelled OCD because you have written hundreds and hundreds of posts on the same thing on dozens and dozens of threads.To be fair, have I not done the same regarding socialized medicine and the police? This is not a bash, seriously. It's actually more of an apology as I can see now where my being so opinionated possibly drove some posters away. As a long termer here I don't like to think that I am responsible for this. Rob

[GeorgeParker]

I wish the human race could get along with one another better and respect our differences more. RobExactly the reason I avoid expressing my strongly held opinions about politics, and yet even I have been blasted by people because America (not just this forum) is so divided that some people will accuse you of being a right wing or left wing extremist when you randomly wear a red or blue shirt in public.

We really should all treat each other better and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

I try to do that (but I don't always succeed)

[catherine]

To be fair, have I not done the same regarding socialized medicine and the police? This is not a bash, seriously. It's actually more of an apology as I can see now where my being so opinionated possibly drove some posters away. As a long termer here I don't like to think that I am responsible for this. Rob

Rob, you never made your politics and opinions personal. To follow GeorgeParker's illustration, you always keep your opinions at the high level of thought, and you have always had the utmost respect for others who agreed or disagreed, even when you have been the target of personal attack.

[rosarugosa]

Rob, you never made your politics and opinions personal. To follow GeorgeParker's illustration, you always keep your opinions at the high level of thought, and you have always had the utmost respect for others who agreed or disagreed, even when you have been the target of personal attack.

I fully agree. There is nothing wrong with having strong opinions and expressing them in a respectful manner.

[Tybee]

Rob, I always found your posts fair-minded, never mean-spirited. You have brought up a lot of interesting things to think about, and experiences in places where I have none.

All we can do is regulate our own behavior. I feel that it is up to each of us to do this, and not go gunning for other posters.

Do unto others as we would like them to do unto us.

[happystuff]

Rob, you have also always kept your posts in the appropriately themed threads. I always knew that if I didn't want to read your police threads, I could simply stay out of the politics thread. And, for what it's worth, I learned a lot from you as well. You have a way of looking at things and presenting them that made me think - whether I agreed with you or not.

[LDAHL]

This has been a very interesting thread for me. As anyone who's been here for awhile knows, I myself am no stranger to controversy on this board. One of my lesser admirable qualities is that I am very opinionated, though I've learned to compartmentalize this (sometimes. Meaning at work you'd never know) - unfortunately I let loose with some of my opionionation (is that even a word?) on this board which led to conflict.

I really miss Tammy's posts and I liked Maria's posts and their sensitivity. When these two left no one had to say anything to me - I realized that this was not the proper venue for strong opinions of a continual bashing nature (such as my many posts regarding the police). I still hold the same opinions - but do I need to go on and on and on about them? I don't like to think that as a long term poster here (since 2005) the conflict I am responsible for may have driven some posters away. So I dropped what at least I consider posts that could lead to conflict. It's better for this board that way and honestly, there are several topics that I have gone on and on and on and on about - time to give it a rest, no? The world is not that one dimensional.

Just some thoughts. I wish the human race could get along with one another better and respect our differences more. Rob

I think the difference between you and certain others is in the way you express your opinions. You don’t seem to be outraged and disgusted that the holders of alternative views are allowed to exist. You don’t think repetition is an argument. You don’t resort to cliche or puerile insult when you’re stuck for ideas.

I don’t agree with you much of the time, but I think this would be a poorer place without you.

[Teacher Terry]

Ldahl, I totally agree with you!