View Full Version : Sharing pearls of wisdom
Different pieces of wisdom cross my path that I would love to share so thought that a thread on pearls of wisdom with their source might be interesting.
My mother - "give flowers to the living rather than the dead" translated from German. I have done that a number of times now and was so glad that I did.
https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/august-26-2021
A Hindu proverb on the many ways to win:
"There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn't matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong."
Just saw this one today and loved it:
"Do not be haunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it."
--The Talmud.
iris lilies
8-26-21, 3:07pm
I will always accept flowers, they are always nice. Once we had a patio party and somebody brought flowers from her garden. She looked around my garden and said oh! You have exactly the same flowers I guess I didn’t need to bring these. But she was wrong because I liked her flowers and it saved me cutting my own so I could enjoy her flowers in my house and my flowers in my garden.
Here's another one my mother taught me when I was very young and complained that everyone thought one particular classmate was pretty, but I didn't. She said, "The more you get to know a person, the prettier or uglier they become." I've found that to be very true.
happystuff
8-26-21, 5:28pm
"The tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter until the lion speaks." African Proverb
"If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone." Maxwell Maltz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8YyDyap7wI
happystuff
8-26-21, 5:59pm
LOL. Nice song.
The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.
GeorgeParker
8-26-21, 7:34pm
"Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than yours." Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (#47)
And everybody knows what Thumper's father told him, including me and my mother. Once, when I was kindergarten age, I said something unflattering, and my mother said "George..." I looked up at her expecting "If you can't say...." but instead she said "If you can't say something nice....you need to learn how to lie with a straight face." :) That was really very clever of her, because up until then "If you can't say something nice" had always been just one of those things that grownups always say to children and children quickly forget. By making me laugh, she implanted that moment permanently in my brain, and I never forgot "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all," even though I don't always follow that rule.
And when I was 12 my mama said something else I never forgot (but I have to explain the situation first) There was a girl named Cathy in our neighborhood and she had a crush on me, but I was totally unaware of it because she wasn't pushy and (to be blunt about it) I had a huge crush on a different girl (Susan). Anyhow, one day my mother casually said, "Cathy has a crush on you. [dramatic pause] Did you know that?" I said no, and my mother said "Well, do you like her having a crush on you?" I thought about it and said "I like Cathy ok. She's nice. And she's smart. And we've been friends for a long time. But she's not much to look at." My mother looked straight at me and said very gently, "George, Cathy is a good girl, and one of these days you're going to figure out that all cats look alike in the dark." Then she smiled and perkily said "Go empty the trash." I was 12 and it was 1962 so I was still naive enough that I took what she said at face value (IOW don't ignore a wonderful girl just because she's not pretty.) It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I suddenly realized "All cats look alike in the dark" was a double entendre that she probably shouldn't have said to a 12 year old son.
Now about my crush on Susan: I had a huge crush on her for three whole years, but I very carefully kept my crush totally secret from everyone, including her, because she was a step-first cousin and therefore technically off limits (ethically, though not legally).
When I was in my mid 40s my mother and I were looking at family photos and I said, "When I was 11, I had a tremendous crush on cousin Susan for three whole years, and it was wonderful because I was in love, but it was also terrible because I had to be so careful about never letting anyone suspect that I might have a crush on her." And my mother laughed and said, "George, I knew right from the very beginning you had crush on her." I was shocked because I had never mentioned having a crush on cousin Susan to anyone. I said "You did?" And she said, "George... It was obvious to me that you had a crush on her. If you hadn't had a crush on Susan you wouldn't have been a normal boy. And I was always very proud of the way you kept your feelings secret and treated her like she was just a cousin you happened to like a lot. I'm sure no one else ever knew you had a crush on her, including her." I said "If you knew I had a crush on her, why didn't you tell me?" And she said "I knew you were a good boy, and it was obvious you were doing the right thing in the right way, so I trusted you to keep on doing the right thing. If I had told you that I knew you had a crush on Susan, it would have been awkward for both of us, and you would have been embarrassed, and there really wasn't any advice or consolation I could have given you at that age, other than reminding you there really were other interesting girls and some of them might have a crush on you."
An appropriate song: "Circle Of Blue" (I love you, and you love him, and he loves somebody else)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McG89axEBPc
Never trust idealists. You never know when they might try to help you.
It’s not always about the money; but the probability is high enough that you can proceed as if it is.
Life has a beginning and an end, but that doesn’t make it a journey.
Politics is a poor substitute for morality.
If someone can’t bear to be disagreed with, don’t eat lunch with them.
Unless you fail frequently you aren’t living a very interesting life.
Anyone who devotes a lot of energy to letting you know how tough or smart or accomplished they are probably isn’t.
GeorgeParker
8-27-21, 4:47pm
"You should never try to teach a pig how to sing. All it does is waste your time and annoy the pig." Robert Heinlein (often misattributed to Mark Twain)
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/07/10/sing-pig/
Original context of that quote (if anyone wants to read it ;) )
"I have never swindled a man. At most I kept quiet and let him swindle himself. This does no harm, as a fool cannot be protected from his folly. If you attempt to do so, you will not only arouse his animosity but also you will be attempting to deprive him of whatever benefit he is capable of deriving from experience. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig."
"You should never try to teach a pig how to sing. All it does is waste your time and annoy the pig." Robert Heinlein (often misattributed to Mark Twain)
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/07/10/sing-pig/
Original context of that quote (if anyone wants to read it ;) )
"I have never swindled a man. At most I kept quiet and let him swindle himself. This does no harm, as a fool cannot be protected from his folly. If you attempt to do so, you will not only arouse his animosity but also you will be attempting to deprive him of whatever benefit he is capable of deriving from experience. Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig."
Mark Twain was credited with : Never argue the stupid people. They will drag you down and beat you with experience
[I] was told that someone else said it, but I remember hearing that Mark Twain was the one
GeorgeParker
8-27-21, 10:43pm
Mark Twain was credited with : Never argue the stupid people. They will drag you down and beat you with experience
[I] was told that someone else said it, but I remember hearing that Mark Twain was the oneIt has been my experience that any clever or useful saying that can't be easily traced will quickly get attached to whatever famous person people think might have said it. Thus Mark Twain and Will Rogers often get things attributed to them that neither of them ever said. Likewise quotes are often attributed to Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Albert Einstein (all three of them) when none of them actually said it. And it works in reverse too: If someone wants to make a quote sound sinister, they will often attribute it to one of the prominent Nazi leaders. So as Yogi Berra said when asked if he actually said something that was attributed to him: "I'll tell you the truth. I've never said half the things I've said."
Here's another piece of wisdom which has appeared in many different forms and was actually said by many different authors:
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Robert J. Hanlon
"Let us not attribute to malice and cruelty what may be referred to less criminal motives. Do we not often afflict others undesignedly, and, from mere carelessness, neglect to relieve distress?" Jane West
"I would say that you have fallen into the commonest fallacy of all in dealing with social and economic subjects—the devil theory. You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity." Robert Heinlein
Background and citations: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/12/30/not-malice/
GeorgeParker
8-28-21, 5:42am
There was a girl named Cathy in our neighborhood and she had a crush on me, but I was totally unaware of it because I had a huge crush on a different girl (Susan).... I had a huge crush on Susan for three whole years, but I very carefully kept my crush totally secret from everyone, including her, because she was a step-first cousin and technically off limits.
I just remembered a song from January 1968 that fits perfectly with what I wrote in that post. It's also philosophically interesting and worthy of a spot in this Words Of Wisdom thread:
"Circle Of Blue"
I love you, and you love him,
and he loves somebody else,
the three of us so much in love,
and yet we're all on the shelf.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McG89axEBPc
rosarugosa
8-28-21, 7:04am
I've always liked this one, GeorgeParker:
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Robert J. Hanlon
GeorgeParker
9-8-21, 12:16am
"Today is the very first day of the rest of your life."
Attributed to Charles Dederich by The Washington Post, December 10, 1978, Dederich founded Synanon, a self-help community for drug abusers and alcoholicsin in 1958. But this saying was more widely popularized by being in the first episode of the 1969 tv series Then Came Bronson (it occurs at ~2:40 in this clip)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG6cWzL_ADc
"You've spent your whole life getting to where you are right now. Was it worth it?"
Tagline on the back of One: A Novel by Richard Bach
I like to give people both of those statements and ask them which they prefer. 85%+ say they like "Today is the very first day..." and reject "You've spent your whole life..." as untrue or too negative. But both statements are totally true. You have spent your whole life getting to where you are right now, and every day you live is the very first day of the rest of your life.
Chew on that for a while, and then answer the question "Was it worth it?"
GeorgeParker
9-12-21, 9:45pm
"Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way." Alan Watts
There are several people here that this clearly applies to, including me. It seems to be human nature to keep trying to improve ourselves by asking the same questions over and over, always coming up with the same answers, and always wondering why they don't work, even though we've never been able to make them work in the past. Clearly when that happens, we need to either ask a different question or ask our questions a different way so that maybe we'll get a more useful answer.
"Why is my closet a mess?"
isn't the same as "How can I make my closet less messy?"
which isn't the same as "Do I really really want my closet to be neat?"
which isn't the same as "If I was only going to do one thing to make my closet less messy, what would it be?"
KWIM?
rosarugosa
9-13-21, 5:55am
"Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way." Alan Watts
There are several people here that this clearly applies to, including me. It seems to be human nature to keep trying to improve ourselves by asking the same questions over and over, always coming up with the same answers, and always wondering why they don't work, even though we've never been able to make them work in the past. Clearly when that happens, we need to either ask a different question or ask our questions a different way so that maybe we'll get a more useful answer.
"Why is my closet a mess?"
isn't the same as "How can I make my closet less messy?"
which isn't the same as "Do I really really want my closet to be neat?"
which isn't the same as "If I was only going to do one thing to make my closet less messy, what would it be?"
KWIM?
I like this.
iris lilies
9-13-21, 10:26am
I've always liked this one, GeorgeParker:
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Robert J. Hanlon
Agreed. I see that regularly in my work in volunteer organizations. Errors are not intentional, people,mean well in their actions but too often the screw ups are seen as deliberate.
I've got a million of 'em.
"What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor: that is the whole Torah; all the rest of it is commentary; go and learn." –Rabbi Hillel
Also (editorial department):
“A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. It is your job to know the difference.” United Press International stylebook
GeorgeParker
9-13-21, 4:55pm
“A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. It is your job to know the difference.” United Press International stylebookTo which I will add:
A mule is not a donkey and a pony is not a young horse. But everybody seems to forget that (or else they never learned it!)
An older family friend who recently passed on in her 90's after several health and life challenges at one time had a sweatshirt with the old motto, "Keep calm and carry on", which I come back to at times. I have been somewhat partial to a Stephen King quote which at one time was posted on my frig., "You can't be safe on a skateboard, man", that seems to have a deeper meaning for me.
"let it be"
Oh, boy. You hit my hot button with that one, Alan. If I ever got a tattoo, which I won't, I would have that quote on one shoulder and on the other, my avatar.
This song really spoke to me in 1970, and it still speaks to me today, and I can say that I saw Paul McCartney in concert performing it on the piano in Philadelphia. It was magic.
GeorgeParker
9-13-21, 11:01pm
Errors are not intentional, people mean well in their actions but too often the screw ups are seen as deliberate.And too often the screw ups happen because someone didn't deliberate!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8YyDyap7wI
Thank You for posting this... so many words of wisdom there
[QUOTE=GeorgeParker;391509]To which I will add:
A mule is not a donkey and a pony is not a young horse. But everybody seems to forget that (or else they never learned it!)[/QUOTE
as a hard core horse person... you are correct... But a " pony" in the horse world is a bit more complicated. You are totally correct on that a pony is not a young horse
GeorgeParker
9-19-21, 7:23pm
as a hard core horse person... you are correct... But a " pony" in the horse world is a bit more complicated. You are totally correct that a pony is not a young horseI assume you're referring to the term "teaser pony" and to people who intentionally refer to their smallish horse as a pony, the same way Harley riders refer to their big motorcycle as a scooter, and similar uses. Yes language is very confusing and diversified, especially when you get into the specialized jargon of any vocation or avocation. But I speak only as an ignorant city boy. ;)
I assume you're referring to the term "teaser pony" and to people who intentionally refer to their smallish horse as a pony, the same way Harley riders refer to their big motorcycle as a scooter, and similar uses. Yes language is very confusing and diversified, especially when you get into the specialized jargon of any vocation or avocation. But I speak only as an ignorant city boy. ;)
LOL Oh Boy LOL A "teaser pony" ( or horse) is a stallion that was used back in the day before technology was here. they were lead up to a mare to see if she was in heat . Mares squat and pee and "wink" their vulvas and squeal if they are " ready" then the stallion that she is to be bred to would be brought out. Ponies were used because they are easier to handle ( 300 to 500 pounds VS 1200-1500 pounds) TMI I know
GeorgeParker
9-19-21, 8:37pm
TMI I knowNo. Actually I find it rather interesting.
GeorgeParker
9-20-21, 1:16am
Of course when I said "a pony is not a young horse", I was referring to Welsh Ponies and Shetland Ponies -- The ponies we so often encounter in classic children's books set in the British Isles. My ancestors who lived in Bradford England (about 35 miles northeast of Manchester) in the 1800s were no doubt very familiar with these animals.
I Was impressed with one I heard the other day in an interview with an artist I've admired. "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good".
GeorgeParker
9-21-21, 1:56pm
I Was impressed with one I heard the other day in an interview with an artist I've admired. "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good".That's a very old saying and often heard in politics.
This article https://www.riversidecorporatewellness.com/single-post/don-t-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of-good relates it to the search for "perfect" nutritional advice and the Japanese veneration of wabi sabi (seeing natural imperfections as beautiful because of their naturalness) is also closely related https://www.kyoto-ryokan-sakura.com/archives/191
That's a very old saying and often heard in politics.
This article https://www.riversidecorporatewellness.com/single-post/don-t-let-perfect-be-the-enemy-of-good relates it to the search for "perfect" nutritional advice and the Japanese veneration of wabi sabi (seeing natural imperfections as beautiful because of their naturalness) is also closely related https://www.kyoto-ryokan-sakura.com/archives/191
It's also a good saying for perfectionists. I tend to analyze and procrastinate. Sometimes it's better to do something not-quite-perfectly than not at all. I once hired a project manager who was a GREAT partner for me. I'd be waiting for the perfect solution and her mantra to me was "push it forward"--meaning, you don't have to wait--just do SOMETHING!!! I still try to live by that.
GeorgeParker
9-21-21, 5:41pm
It's also a good saying for perfectionists. I tend to analyze and procrastinate. Sometimes it's better to do something not-quite-perfectly than not at all. I once hired a project manager who was a GREAT partner for me. I'd be waiting for the perfect solution and her mantra to me was "push it forward"--meaning, you don't have to wait--just do SOMETHING!!! I still try to live by that.The related concept among computer geeks is "Done is better than perfect" or "Minimum viable product". Meaning if you have a great idea but you keep adding features and improving the graphics and improving the interface, someone else will probably have a similar idea and start selling their "minimum, but it works" version while you're still tinkering with your much better version trying to make it perfect. Finished software that does what it's supposed to do is always a hell of a lot better than a geewhiz feature-loaded version of the same software that no one can use because it's still being coded and tinkered with.
The same concept applies to a lot of other things, like organizing and dejunking a closet, or thinking about sending an email to someone, or planning exactly what you're going to say when you have the "birds and bees" talk with your kids (and the kids keep getting older and older because you keep waiting for the perfect moment and the perfect way to have that embarrassing talk.)
Just read this: "It's not hard; it's new. Practice makes it not new."
"The only way out is through." Something I need to put into practice.
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