View Full Version : What are you afraid of?
iris lilies
9-7-21, 2:02pm
What do you have fear about, rational and/or irrational? What scares you? I mean at the visceral level, not “society goi g to hell in an handbasket” fears unless of course you have those fears that would be measured in your metabolism.
I ask because Teacher Terry has fear about crime that I do not have. By this I mean I do not “feel “ fearful in most all situations in my city and neighborhood.
I am not saying she is wrong and I am right, probably the opposite is true. When I used to walk a mile at night all of my friends said “aren’t you scared? “ No, I was not scared although one neighborhood I walked through was more iffy than mine and one in the other side.
But I do have fears.
1. Riding in mechanical things…cars, airplanes…don’t trust them if I am not driving. This is dumb because objectively I recognize that DH is a better driver than I am.
2. claustrophobic ideas such as coffin, narrow caves, cave diving….I have not had an MRI and do not know how that would go.
3. No longer much fear, but having no money was concerning to me to a point of light fear. To me, that represents no options. Being poor and stuck…scary.
These are the ones off the top of my head. Likely there are others.
Waht about you?
Falling off the side of a mountain. When I was a teenager I asked my uncle to take us to the top of the grain elevator where he worked. I walked right up to the edge and looked down. It was totally awesome. My mother, on the other hand stood pressed against the wall of the little outbuilding near the center of the roof that protected the elevator lift equipment.
Fast forward to now. Any hiking trail that has a sharp drop off next to it, even if the trail is amply wide for me to safely walk along, terrifies me. I suspect that if I were to go on top of a grain elevator now I would react much more like my mother did.
Rodents. Even the cute furry kind aka squirrels. Mice, voles, all of them.
Dying in a horrible, painful way.
Walking or even driving in a sketchy neighborhood- fear for personal safety as I am small and do not carry a gun but a lot of bad guys do.
When I was younger, I'd add having my car strand me on some lonesome street. Had happened multiple times before I had a credit card, and this is way before cell phones, where I'd have to either chance it to walk and find a pay phone or stick in my car and hope the good samaritan that stopped wasn't a creep or a rapist.
iris lilies
9-7-21, 2:30pm
Falling off the side of a mountain. When I was a teenager I asked my uncle to take us to the top of the grain elevator where he worked. I walked right up to the edge and looked down. It was totally awesome. My mother, on the other hand stood pressed against the wall of the little outbuilding near the center of the roof that protected the elevator lift equipment.
Fast forward to now. Any hiking trail that has a sharp drop off next to it, even if the trail is amply wide for me to safely walk along, terrifies me. I suspect that if I were to go on top of a grain elevator now I would react much more like my mother did.
oh yes! Riding in an automobile on mountain roads with terrain dropping away to hundreds of feet below….scary!
Negotiating heights in manmade conveyances are frightening.I just don’t trust ‘em. See also elevators.
The Sunshine Skyway bridge in Florida scared me when I was a kid. On a trip there in recent years I drove a rental car and asked for the route that avoided that thing (and got hopelessly lost.) . On the way back to the airport I took their recommended route which crossed that bridge and I lived to tell about it.
I am petrified of driving on interstates with semis. If I get boxed in by two, I will have a panic attack. I am also fearful of flying. I think both of these things have more to do with claustrophobia than anything else. The other night, I had one of those dreams that was so real it continues to haunt me. I dreamed I was driving home from a meeting at night; I was not paying attention and took the wrong road where a roadblock had been removed. It was too late before I realized I was driving over a steep cliff. I felt the wheels go over and felt the car begin to roll. It was odd but I felt a strange peace when I accepted my demise and then I woke up. I have heard of several drivers who have gone over the steep roadsides outside of Telluride so I guess I got to experience it in my dreams.
iris lilies
9-7-21, 3:01pm
I am petrified of driving on interstates with semis. If I get boxed in by two, I will have a panic attack. I am also fearful of flying. I think both of these things have more to do with claustrophobia than anything else. The other night, I had one of those dreams that was so real it continues to haunt me. I dreamed I was driving home from a meeting at night; I was not paying attention and took the wrong road where a roadblock had been removed. It was too late before I realized I was driving over a steep cliff. I felt the wheels go over and felt the car begin to roll. It was odd but I felt a strange peace when I accepted my demise and then I woke up. I have heard of several drivers who have gone over the steep roadsides outside of Telluride so I guess I got to experience it in my dreams.
Pinky, I have not driven my small cute red convertible on any interstate for this very fear, being surrounded by semi trucks. Not doin’ it, nope.
gimmethesimplelife
9-7-21, 3:10pm
What do you have fear about, rational and/or irrational? What scares you? I mean at the visceral level, not “society goi g to hell in an handbasket” fears unless of course you have those fears that would be measured in your metabolism.
I ask because Teacher Terry has fear about crime that I do not have. By this I mean I do not “feel “ fearful in most all situations in my city and neighborhood.
I am not saying she is wrong and I am right, probably the opposite is true. When I used to walk a mile at night all of my friends said “aren’t you scared? “ No, I was not scared although one neighborhood I walked through was more iffy than mine and one in the other side.
But I do have fears.
1. Riding in mechanical things…cars, airplanes…don’t trust them if I am not driving. This is dumb because objectively I recognize that DH is a better driver than I am.
2. claustrophobic ideas such as coffin, narrow caves, cave diving….I have not had an MRI and do not know how that would go.
3. No longer much fear, but having no money was concerning to me to a point of light fear. To me, that represents no options. Being poor and stuck…scary.
These are the ones off the top of my head. Likely there are others.
Waht about you?Interesting, IL....the three fears you mentioned? I share all three with you and I am also literally terrified of heights. I can remember once in my college days I had a roommate who worked at the Skydome at NAU and there was a suspended walkway far far far above the floor level (the Skydome is a arena for NAU sports). I had to talk to my roommate and I was passing by the Skydome and he asked me if I wanted to walk above everything and I even tried to do so and my legs literally froze when I looked down along with instant adrenaline flooding me. Rob
Came back to add - since 9/11 I've had a fear of skyscrapers - luckily I rarely have to enter one - the last time was when my mother had neck surgery 9 1/2 years ago and her surgeon's office for follow up visits was on the 25th floor of a bank building mid-town downtown. I am so glad that I had one valium left from when I was legally prescribed such years ago - it helped a great deal but I still had an adrenaline response but was able to sit quietly and not look out any plate glass windows. Mom wanted pictures of Phoenix from this height and I was like - no, no, no, not doing this, Mom. I don't even like walking around outside of tall buildings. Rob
Heights if there is open space beneath me like those fire towers where the metal stairs have slats in them you can see through. If the steps beneath me are solid I am fine.
Financial ruin. Big medical bills. Having someone call an ambulance for me and I am stuck with the bill. I have told coworkers in the past if I pass out at work just throw cold water on me to get me to come to if I faint.
Passing out from wearing a mask and someone calls an ambulance and I have thousands of dollars in medical bills.
GeorgeParker
9-7-21, 3:23pm
I had to talk to my roommate and I was passing by the Skydome and he asked me if I wanted to walk above everything and I even tried to do so and my legs literally froze when I looked down along with instant adrenaline flooding me. Rob
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WanGt1G6ScA
iris lilies
9-7-21, 3:33pm
George, i have known dogs who have fear of thresholds. Is that the about their depth perception I wonder? My current bulldog (a bundle of phobias) shows occasional threshhold fear.
Last week he would not step over a dried piece of grass on the floor. WTF! Is this an innate fear of snakes, is that baked into our brains?
We call his inability to move beyond a certain something him “getting stuck. “. Yesterday he “got stuck” behind an 8” fence. He jumped into the fenced area to bark at the neighbor dog, but was unable to gather enough courage to get out of the fenced area.
Standing on questionable ice, and seeing it crack under my feet.
Panicking people.
I really, really hate rats.
- Heights
- Confined spaces
- Injuries
- Heavy weather events
- Wildfire
- Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds
ApatheticNoMore
9-7-21, 4:00pm
to a degree too many things to count
- unemployment (oh yea definitely do)
- poverty
- disease (not at a hypochondriac level, but yea I fear bad diseases)
- medical procedures
- death of loved ones
- climate change (this is constant background dread, but usually of the future)
- we have coyotes here, I have a bit of fear of encountering them walking at night, because I've straight out seen them walking down the street at night, even if they aren't supposed to be dangerous,. I don't think about it at all UNTIL I'm foolish enough to be walking at night, and then I remember" "uh oh ..."
- I don't know if I'd call my reaction to heights even exactly a fear, I don't like and usually avoid looking down when high up is kind of the extent of it
iris lilies
9-7-21, 4:08pm
In my youth I was afraid of tornados, but have since beat that with logic.
ApatheticNoMore
9-7-21, 4:21pm
I am afraid of buildings and other structures collapsing in earthquakes. I'm currently in a one story apartment, so being that's how I choose to live, I might have some fears :). But it's not like I don't enter other buildings, just I've always thought about how my offices etc. would fare in an earthquake. It's never preventing me form entering them but ...
--being around angry, toxic, unpredictable people
--the idea of mountain climbing (never done it, but I can't think of anything scarier)
--very loud noises
--plane crashes--or rather, the few times when I was on a plane and had irrational anxiety over the plane crashing, as well the rational fear of the plane crashing when I was involved in two emergency landings
--pain/hospitals (not hospitals in general, just being in the hospital due to a painful event)
The next town over was devastated years ago by a tornado. The siren went off in the community where I live one time and the people on the street around me were literally screaming and panicking. I could feel my hair standing on end. Their fear was contagious.
Teacher Terry
9-7-21, 6:49pm
I definitely have a fear of crime as I had someone try to break into my apartment twice in Wichita when I was 19 and had a baby. To make it worse my husband was away both times on duty in the military and Wichita had the BTK killer around. I also had a few other bad random experiences so I only considered condos in a secure building. That severely limited my options.
I am mildly claustrophobic and took Xanax to have MRIs. I am afraid of snakes and heights. I never was afraid of flying until in my late 40’s I was on a flight where people were praying and crying. The stewardess was strapped in among the passengers and when some asked her a question she said it didn’t matter because we were all going to die. She was not young and losing her shit. After that I needed a buddy and Xanax to fly. Now I just need Xanax.
Catfish I encounter when diving. 3ft and up. The 6ft monsters scare the hell out of me. Encountered one once at a diving quarry in far southern IL. I will never go there again. I can’t even watch videos.
Catfish I encounter when diving. 3ft and up. The 6ft monsters scare the hell out of me. Encountered one once at a diving quarry in far southern IL. I will never go there again. I can’t even watch videos.
OMG. Right. I forgot one on my list:
- Sea monsters
I visited the Steinhardt Aquarium in SF once, and they have an amazing display of Fish Of Your Nightmares.
In my youth I was afraid of tornados, but have since beat that with logic.
Yeah, those too.
- Heights
- Confined spaces
- Injuries
- Heavy weather events
- Wildfire
- Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds
I forgot about heights.
Rats, mice.
Fast boats (as a passenger)
Riding as a passenger when certain people are driving.
Becoming poor, as in losing SSI, pension, beyond my control (govt or political reasons)
I've never done it because I think it would be too scary (I know, Tradd)--SCUBA diving.
In my youth I was afraid of tornados, but have since beat that with logic.
Because the President says no one calls them tornadoes anymore?
GeorgeParker
9-7-21, 10:41pm
George, i have known dogs who have fear of thresholds. Is that the about their depth perception I wonder? My current bulldog (a bundle of phobias) shows occasional threshhold fear.Could be, I suppose. Refusing to jump over an 8-inch tall fence might mean it has blurry vision and isn't quite sure where the top edge of the fence is. My best guess, if I'm playing dog psychologist, would be that something unpleasant happened one time when they crossed a barrier as a puppy. Maybe they got temporarily lost and were scared. Or maybe someone intentionally taught them not to enter a room without permission and now they get confused.
Teacher Terry
9-7-21, 10:49pm
My big rescue dog Noki would not walk across a grate where he could see through. I have had 2 Maltese that are afraid of steps they could see down if there’s no back on them. One of those Maltese was really afraid of heights.
Could be, I suppose. Refusing to jump over an 8-inch tall fence might mean it has blurry vision and isn't quite sure where the top edge of the fence is. My best guess, if I'm playing dog psychologist, would be that something unpleasant happened one time when they crossed a barrier as a puppy. Maybe they got temporarily lost and were scared. Or maybe someone intentionally taught them not to enter a room without permission and now they get confused.
My first dog had a fear of bridges--we had to drag him across bridges--even little walking paths over shallow, dry terrain.
GeorgeParker
9-7-21, 11:10pm
Catfish I encounter when diving. 3ft and up. The 6ft monsters scare the hell out of me. Encountered one once at a diving quarry in far southern IL. I will never go there again. I can’t even watch videos.In the 1970s a car went off a bridge and fell into Lake Lanier (a TVA-type lake in north Georgia). Divers who went down looking for the car to recover the body, came back to the surface scared sh_tless. They said there were houses down there and a lot of dead trees and abandoned powerlines, and the water was very muddy near the bottom. But what had really scared them was having a couple of 8-9 foot catfish suddenly swim by them just a few yards away in the murky water.
For people who think giant catfish are an urban legend, here is a photo of a small giant catfish:
3954
My fears - no particular order.
Snakes - really creep me out.
Heights - my legs actually tingle even looking at pictures of people climbing mountains, sitting on ledges, etc.
Reading in public - results of being a poor reader and having to read out loud in class from grade school to college.
Swimming in open waters
Fear of dropping the baby, older siblings were not allow to carry the baby around the house.
Fear of drowning in medical debt, because we have very little control of pricing in medical field.
Fear of seeing a cougar if I run in early morning hours.
Not really a fear, but just realized that hosting family gatherings brings me great anxiety. The need for it to be perfect ruins the
event for me and ultimately my family. I would rather just go out to dinner.
GeorgeParker
9-8-21, 12:52am
I ain't afraid of nobody or nothing! (said the cowardly lion)
I have a touch of free-floating anxiety. Most of the time I'm fine. But if I start to really worry about something and get scared about it, my anxiety attaches to those negative thoughts and magnifies them. It's controllable by using mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral methods, but sometimes I really have to work at staying calm and not letting myself slip back into the excessive fear cycle.
So, paraphrasing Marlon Brando in The Wild Ones:
Q: "What are you afraid of?"
A: "What have you got available?"
GeorgeParker
9-8-21, 1:45am
Fear of seeing a cougar if I run in early morning hours. It would make more sense to be afraid of a cougar seeing you. ;)
ToomuchStuff
9-8-21, 3:52am
I don't really remember being afraid of heights, until going to my fathers office, and looking down at the Hyatt Skywalk collapse recovery effort as a kid. I had it in my head more as falling to death, then getting crushed as his coworker did (she survived). Windows moving in a high rise building didn't help.
Snakes fear, in a big way went back to my abduction (was told snakes where I was left would get me if I moved). That fear diminished from that, but amped up after two incidents with lawnmowers (one thrown out the back at me, the other I was mowing and it fell out of a tree and landed on my shoulder).
I have found so many fears diminish, once I figure out why one has them, and gets to face that.
There are fears that affect your metabolism, but are more stress then an actual fear. Fear of success (violates the leave no trace rule taught, but so does posting on forums, etc), as well as fear of failure (responsibility to others). These should now be bothering me more, becoming an owner of my own business, however they are offset by now having the power to control change. When I haven't had training or the authority/ability of change, one job nearly cost me my home and sanity.
Then there are fears that have caused nightmares since childhood and still do. By the time puberty hit, I could screw up a wet dream. Most of the time, it was a relative killing me through vivisection and them enjoying it. Could be other means (immolation, drowning, slower, more painful deaths), but wasn't particularly quick (like being shot, where people are trained to shoot). As I got older, and when I had that deathbed comparison to that relative, it was less the relative and was more the me they expected me to become. (the you they project you to be, verses the you, you are) I overcame the fear of death most people have, but not pain, or worse the fear of becoming like that relative is, or was made out to be as a kid. This is why my last time at gunpoint (five times, including one felony stop/mistaken identity), I was angry at the idea of being shot, less then the fear of being a thief (giving the robber anything, kept them focused on me so they got $50, instead of another amount much higher). Better dead, then become like them.
Fear of intimacy, is connected to the above.
I've always been wary of heights because I have such (congenitally) unstable knees.
And over the last few years, I've developed a phone phobia, due to getting so much bad news related to friends' health that way. Even hearing a phone ring on TV gives me an unpleasant start.
happystuff
9-8-21, 12:57pm
I like Jane's word "wary". I'm not sure what I have "fear" of, but I am wary of many things, including things already mentioned like snakes, heights, etc. I do have a slight fear of becoming less positive and more negative as a person, as I would think it would make me so unhappy, and I would hate to think about going through life that way.
iris lilies
9-8-21, 1:09pm
Toomuchstuff, i am sure your traumatic experience of abduction as a child informs your current fears. i am sorry that happened to,you. That feeling of being so completely helpless as a little kid has to stay with you and manifest in multiple ways.
I have a fear of becoming more incapacitated and dependent on others, as well as losing my mind--which often seems to happen randomly. Spiders and snakes can't hold a candle to that.
ApatheticNoMore
9-8-21, 1:27pm
Yea most stuff is just wary, that's all, all the instinctive stuff like heights, critters etc. (spiders I don't even fear, barking dogs I can be wary of though, so fine add dogs to things I might be wary of, but I don't actually have a full blown fear of dogs).
Some things are long term dread and background worries, like the fear of unemployment is just always there in the background. I think the background worries have more of an effect on life than things one is merely wary of like one may be wary of coyotes at night but does it really affect one's emotions much? No.
Teacher Terry
9-8-21, 2:04pm
TMS, I can’t even begin to understand how it would feel to be abducted as a child. No wonder you have nightmares.
Selective code enforcement targeting me - on what grounds I don't know as I think my home is in good shape - for complaining about city policies.
TMS, there are lots of fears that spring up from childhood that are related to bad experiences, for sure. As Terry said, your experiences as a child must have been extremely traumatic. It seems like you were able to overcome to a large degree--good for you!! As you said, sometimes our pain as a child becomes part of our cellular structure.
If we're going in that direction, I relate to what you said about fearing failure and success. As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I was taught that it's common for people like me to "fear failure yet sabotage our success" which I definitely did! From turning down a dream job directly after college to coming up with a lame excuse for not getting my Masters after being accepted at such as presitigious school as NYU, I just ran from every chance I had to fulfill dreams.
Those fears are hard to confront, because as you said, they are so deeply embedded in a child's psyche.
GeorgeParker
9-8-21, 4:35pm
There's also the very real problem of your family or the people you grew up with thinking you've gotten "too big for your britches" if you grew up poor and became successful as an adult or if you grew up in a deeply rural area and left home to live in a big city. Sometimes the people you left behind think you left because you feel like you're better than them, and in some places they'll tell you so to your face or flat out shun you when you come home to visit. So fear of success is a very real phenomenon in those cases, with very real consequences.
The other part of fear of success is when fear of success is really fear of failure. We all know that when you succeed you get presented with bigger opportunities and bigger challenges, which you're automatically expected to enthusiastically accept. So at a certain level where you're putting a good effort into what you're doing, you become afraid that if you become any better at what you're doing you'll be forced to move upward into a position where you'll fall flat on your face and be totally disgraced. Thus the people who practice martial arts for years but never enter a tournament, or the people who are very good at their job and are afraid they'll be offered a promotion.
In the 1970s a car went off a bridge and fell into Lake Lanier (a TVA-type lake in north Georgia). Divers who went down looking for the car to recover the body, came back to the surface scared sh_tless. They said there were houses down there and a lot of dead trees and abandoned powerlines, and the water was very muddy near the bottom. But what had really scared them was having a couple of 8-9 foot catfish suddenly swim by them just a few yards away in the murky water.
For people who think giant catfish are an urban legend, here is a photo of a small giant catfish:
3954
I never understood the attraction of catfish “tickling”.
Lightning. Where I grew up was on a peninsula. Because of the geography, storm clouds were mostly blown out to sea. Lightning was something that happened at a distance. DH grew up in the midwest and he's just Ho-Hum, it's lightning, which is fine.
ApatheticNoMore
9-10-21, 12:20am
So I'm walking at night, because if I have a fear of something, I've forgotten it, the fear was of not getting adequate exercise I believe? That's scary bad for one's health! :~) And then walking back, there is an animal running, snorting, guttural, animal, moving fast. And I'm like "oh @#$# coyote, what do I do, what do I do?". Not the first time there has been a coyote on that very street ... And then it's just a runner and a dog. The dog is kind of wild itself, snorting, hardly controlled, but of course I trust the person to control it though they are struggling to. (I actually have seen an actual coyote on that very street before). And my chest hurts from the adrenaline.
And the thing is I've taken presentations on coyotes, on bears etc.. but I panic. Only even actual coyotes are not supposed to be a danger to any human larger than a baby, but the anticipated coyotes on dark streets loom larger in the imagination. Mind you I wouldn't even be afraid of them if I hadn't seen them there before.
I'm not scared of wild animals when walking but I am afraid of criminals. Someone exposed himself to my neighbor when she was jogging so I try to stay aware of my surroundings. I also don't hike alone. On my vacation my brother will be going some places with me.
GeorgeParker
9-16-21, 12:26am
A few days ago I encountered a fear I didn't know I had. I went to a clinic so they could do an upper endoscopy (same as a colonoscopy but on the other end) and stretch a tight spot in my esophagus. As they're doing the final prep and about to put you to sleep, they put a thing like this photo in your mouth to keep your jaws open during the procedure.
3972
It's hard plastic and your mouth has to be wide open for it to fit in -- not uncomfortably wide open, but just short of that. Call it ~1.5 inch (the size of a golf ball).
After they they put it in I consciously kept my mouth relaxed, but even so, having that thing between my teeth and the plate around it pressing on my lips because it's held in place by an elastic band, made me instantly feel like they had put a gag in my mouth (with all the sinister implications that carries).
I stayed calm and took several deep breaths through my mouth to reassure myself that the big hole in the middle really was there and I could breath just fine. But I still felt subconsciously like I had a gag in my mouth. It was a scary feeling, and totally irrational. On top of which I have never encountered that fear before, and I have no reason to believe I will ever be restrained and gagged.
Has anyone else had an upper endoscopy and experienced that same reaction? Or am I just weird?
rosarugosa
9-16-21, 6:14am
George: I did have an upper endoscopy once, but I must have been asleep by the time they got to this part.
George: I did have an upper endoscopy once, but I must have been asleep by the time they got to this part.
My DH has upper endoscopies from time to time--in fact he just had one a couple of weeks ago--and I've never heard him talk about the jaw opener, so, like rosa, I suspect that they put him to sleep first. I can see how that would be an unsettling feeling, though.
GeorgeParker
9-16-21, 11:22am
My DH has upper endoscopies from time to time--in fact he just had one a couple of weeks ago--and I've never heard him talk about the jaw opener, so, like rosa, I suspect that they put him to sleep first. I can see how that would be an unsettling feeling, though.In my case they put the mouth thing in, then attached an oxygen thing to it. I've seen photos online of upper endoscopy where they have an oxygen tube stuck up the person's nose, but I guess this place considers supplying oxygen through the mouth a better practice.
Anyway they told me what they were doing in each step just before they did it and they were very gentle and soothing in everything they did, I just wasn't expecting my subconscious fear reaction. Heck, when I had an MRI (where they totally strap you to the table so you can't move and put you in a small tube) it didn't bother me a bit. But this did. It's funny what we react to sometimes and what we don't.
(Maybe I was Trixie Belden in a previous life and some villain tied me up and put a gag in my mouth ;) )
GeorgeParker
9-16-21, 12:08pm
This thread has reminded me of something that happened when I was in boarding school.
Three of us were sent to get a tetanus shot. It must have been a routine scheduled vaccination, because we weren't injured and we didn't know each other.
Anyway. It was me (8th grade) a bigger boy (probably 10th grade) and a little boy I'll call Bobby (5th-6th grade). The three of us walk into the nurse's office and as she's getting out the stuff to vaccinate us, poor little Bobby looks very nervous, turns around, takes a step toward the corner of the room and stands there staring at the corner.
The 10th grader and I look at each other and he does the finger-on-lips "silence" signal. Just then the nurse says "who's going to be first?" The big boy gives her the silence signal, holds up his hand like a cop stopping traffic, and visually counts five seconds using his fingers. Then he cheerfully says "Ok Bobby, we're done. It's your turn." Bobby turns around and the 10th grader says "Come on, there's nothing to it."
So Bobby, thinking it only took a few seconds for both of us to get the shot, bravely walks over, gives the nurse his arm, and looks the other way while she jabs him. It was obvious from his face that it hurt, but he wasn't about to say ouch in front of big kids if we didn't say ouch. IOW he was a perfect little soldier because we had tricked him into thinking it wouldn't be bad.
You should have seen the look on Bobby's face when the 10th grader and I both rolled up our sleeves and he realized he'd been tricked. He didn't look mad at all, just astonished. Very very astonished.
We did it for Bobby's own good of course, because shots hurt less if you're not afraid. And I've always admired that 10th grader's cleverness in quickly knowing what to do so Bobby would be less afraid.
What a wise, compassionate 10th grader, and the same to you for going along! The nurse was undoubtedly thanking you, too!
GeorgeParker
9-16-21, 8:12pm
It was me (8th grade) a bigger boy (probably 10th grade) and a little boy I'll call Bobby (5th-6th grade).Rereading that, I'm sitting here laughing at myself for thinking Bobby was a little kid and the 10th grader was a really big kid. Bobby would have been 10-11yo compared to me being 14 and the big kid being 16, but when you're 14yo, 3 or 4 years seems really huge, especially with how much you grow physically between 10yo and 14yo.
boss mare
9-17-21, 11:22pm
The 1958 version of the movie The Blob.
The drains of swimming pools. When I was 5 years old, I lived in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle ( right in what was last year the CHAZ ) and there is a wading pool in what is now known as Cal Anderson Park. I was playing in it and neither my mom or grandmother knew that the pool was being drained. I went into the middle where the drain was and it suctioned my foot. If I really think about it, I can get myself worked up about the drain in my tub or sinks.
Boss Mare, oh, yes, pool drains.
https://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/prevent-pool-accidents-usher-son-article-1.1421524
Life never getting back to normal. Even as Delta peaks and covid cases drop everywhere in the US except the Pacific Northwest more and more restrictions are being passed by municipalities in my state. The world has gone stark raving mad.
Life never getting back to normal. Even as Delta peaks and covid cases drop everywhere in the US except the Pacific Northwest more and more restrictions are being passed by municipalities in my state. The world has gone stark raving mad.
I would certainly agree that some people have gone mad because of covid.
rosarugosa
9-18-21, 7:06am
I fear dementia and rats, in that order.
Thinking about this some more, I fear being abandoned or being homeless. Probably stems from being a child of divorce at age 8 and the way in which it transpired. DH recently got his J & J shot at the homeless shelter so I had ample time to watch homeless, destitute women wander about - abandoned by their families and society.
Pinkytoe, That is my fear, too. Or just having to be dependent on strangers for my daily living, bill paying, house things...and to have no control over it.
GeorgeParker
9-18-21, 2:15pm
What I fear most is being totally under the autocratic control of other people, with me having zero control and zero possibility of escaping no matter how much I hate what they are doing to me. Examples: nursing home, jail, severe illness where I have to just lay there and let them do whatever they want to.
I think deep down everyone has that fear as their biggest fear, even if they don't admit it.
Rats? Yeah being eaten alive by rats would be horrible. But what makes it horrible is you having no control over the situation and no way to escape. Being trapped in a small space? Same thing. And so on....
What I fear most is being totally under the autocratic control of other people, with me having zero control and zero possibility of escaping no matter how much I hate what they are doing to me. Examples: nursing home, jail, severe illness where I have to just lay there and let them do whatever they want to.
I think deep down everyone has that fear as their biggest fear, even if they don't admit it.
Rats? Yeah being eaten alive by rats would be horrible. But what makes it horrible is you having no control over the situation and no way to escape. Being trapped in a small space? Same thing. And so on....
I am not disagreeing, but...
I think there's a point at which SOME people (saints, mystics and other highly evolved people) can overcome the fear of control. Victor Frankl famously said "The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Admittedly, there aren't many people who can achieve that, but the stories of those that can, and have, gives hope to the rest of us.
ToomuchStuff
9-18-21, 3:29pm
What I fear most is being totally under the autocratic control of other people, with me having zero control and zero possibility of escaping no matter how much I hate what they are doing to me. Examples: nursing home, jail, severe illness where I have to just lay there and let them do whatever they want to.
I think deep down everyone has that fear as their biggest fear, even if they don't admit it.
LOL, I have expected it, most of my life. Nursing home, well my great aunt, that I was the physical carrier for, lived in a nursing home, except for the once a month my grandmother brought her home. (and when my grandmother died, my great aunt kept asking me to kill her)
Jail/prison, well being compared to my uncle so much, I was expected to be a bad seed by family.
Severe illness, asthmatic my whole life, allergies, etc. I saw what happened with my great aunt, (polio), family friends (cancers of various kinds), my grandmother (brain cancer) and being one of her caretakers, parents extended hospital stay, unfortunately I think this is more likely a possibility.
GeorgeParker
9-18-21, 4:00pm
I think there's a point at which SOME people (saints, mystics and other highly evolved people) can overcome the fear of control. Victor Frankl famously said "The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."That's true. But overcoming your fear of something isn't the same as not being afraid of it. IOW overcoming your fear of unbearable torture doesn't mean you're no longer afraid, it just means you've accepted the fact that this thing is happening and you're able to deal with it unemotionally.
I realize that's a hair-splitting distinction, but it seems to be what the people who have no fear of painful/dangerous things are talking about. For example, the book Full Catastrophe Living https://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Illness/dp/0345536932 is about using meditation and mindfulness to overcome your fear of chronic pain by accepting the pain and looking at it objectively instead of emotionally.
And of course the kind of "overcoming your fear" your talking about is totally different from overcoming body shyness or stage fright or fear of some other harmless thing by gradual exposure to the thing you're afraid of combined with cognitive behavioral methods. In dealing with things that won't actually harm you, your fear really does eventually go away.
Life never getting back to normal. Even as Delta peaks and covid cases drop everywhere in the US except the Pacific Northwest more and more restrictions are being passed by municipalities in my state. The world has gone stark raving mad.
Please define your definition of the Pacific Northwest... Because those of us who do live in the PNW
, don't claim Idaho, Eastern Washington or Eastern Oregon as the PNW
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