View Full Version : Are You Afraid To Die?
One of the anti vaxxers at work was saying he had been talking with his buddies and they all said if death comes for them they will not fight it but accept it. I also am not looking to die, but if it happens it happens. I don't want to lose quality of life cowering in fear of death.
I have seen people who are the opposite. In the face of terminal diagnoses they try one thing after another - experimental treatments, repeated blood transfusions, etc.
Where do you fall?
When I was younger I was different, wanting to live so I could raise my son. But now I have done all I can with him, and done my duty to keep the human species continuing on.
I am on an awesome Buddhist, Zen and Tao FB page and there was a comment I thought was particularly insightful.
Here's the comment:
With very few exceptions, I have come to see death as an end of suffering. Training and study in the way of the samurai added another perspective on the matter... much of the way is to contemplate, and think of oneself as already being dead.
"If by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling." ��
Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure
I felt exactly as you did, wanting to stay alive to care for my family. I now would like to live so that I can enjoy my grandchildren. I probably am afraid as much as the next person, but the older I get the more I feel that when I'm ready, I'll be ready. If it comes before I'm ready, I might have a more negative reaction.
iris lilies
1-8-22, 12:28pm
I don’t think I’m afraid of death or being dead, but I’m afraid of the transition to that state. It is often painful, scary, and generally quite unpleasant.
I don’t think I’m afraid of death or being dead, but I’m afraid of the transition to that state. It is often painful, scary, and generally quite unpleasant.
“I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
- Woody Allen
I don’t think I’m afraid of death or being dead, but I’m afraid of the transition to that state. It is often painful, scary, and generally quite unpleasant.
Well said.
Well to be afraid of what? Some believe it is the end, some - a lovely place with cream cheese figures, some - to be with loved ones, some, like me having experienced a near death, it is simply moving into another chapter or room of life. Like IL, I would prefer a peaceful transition with no problems.
I prepare for any possibilities ahead as much as possible and then forget about it.
I don’t think I’m afraid of death or being dead, but I’m afraid of the transition to that state. It is often painful, scary, and generally quite unpleasant.
I agree with this. My mother died 12 days ago after a long battle with Alzheimer's. For myself and my brothers, it was a blessing to have her journey finally end. As one of my aunts said, 'Dying is easy, it's sometimes living that's hard.'
I agree with this. My mother died 12 days ago after a long battle with Alzheimer's. For myself and my brothers, it was a blessing to have her journey finally end. As one of my aunts said, 'Dying is easy, it's sometimes living that's hard.'
My condolences to you and your family on the death of your mother. Even if it is seen as a blessing, it is still a loss. Hugs to you all.
My only first-hand experience with death and dying was observing my little brother with every horrible condition AIDS could give him until his end and my mother in a two year plus vegetative state after a massive stroke. Both had very grueling, lingering experiences and I won't ever forget the look of agony on their faces as they passed...fighting to live. And then I think about the absolute peace that "no longer being here" brought to them. I am not afraid but way too curious to see what happens next while I'm still alive.
iris lilies
1-8-22, 2:02pm
Alan, sorry to hear about your mom, but a relief for her no doubt.
Cognitive deterioration is a l-o-o-o-o-o-g dying process that is hard on the survivors. My condolences, Alan.
Teacher Terry
1-8-22, 2:44pm
I am so sorry Alan but definitely a blessing. Those who have a quick death are lucky.
My condolences, Alan. Sometimes grief and relief go hand and hand in these situations.
Afraid to die?
No, been there, done that. Came back with the t-shirt.
Afraid to not live a full life? Yes.
Recently I read a possibly-related book that might offer some help for folks, "On Consolation" by Michael Ignatieff. John Paul II also had some useful writings on the end-stage of life.
I'm not afraid to die. It was the first Buddhism book I ever read and I definitely need to read it again: The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
ApatheticNoMore
1-8-22, 6:10pm
Some times I fear it. Sometimes I wish for it. Regardless I think it's fairly irrelevant to the covid situation, I fear DISABILITY there, not death.
Taking the topic one step further, here is an article about Desmond Tutu's humble funeral, and the whole approach is very appealing to me.
https://theinspiredfuneral.com/blog/2022/1/2/desmond-tutus-most-humble-funeral?fbclid=IwAR3t2OqFBobW6BamulJLmyyXaXcxGUhwk qeUS1sH6aBYBZVjMJZx8L82U9c
Taking the topic one step further, here is an article about Desmond Tutu's humble funeral, and the whole approach is very appealing to me.
https://theinspiredfuneral.com/blog/2022/1/2/desmond-tutus-most-humble-funeral?fbclid=IwAR3t2OqFBobW6BamulJLmyyXaXcxGUhwk qeUS1sH6aBYBZVjMJZx8L82U9c
Reminds me of MLK having his remains carried by a horse and buggy not a limo.
Wonder what the cost of aquamation is for comparison?
Wonder what the cost of aquamation is for comparison?
Here's an article about it: https://www.joincake.com/blog/aquamation-vs-cremation/
Also, I have been looking into green burial. There are very few cemeteries that accommodate green burial, but one of them happens to be up here in the Islands, an 8 minute drive from me! I'm planning on looking into that as an option. Apparently cremation is not very eco-friendly.
Interesting reading. Thanks, Catherine
Chuckling to myself - where else would I be discussing in no particular order? - aquamation, horse breeds and competition, what's for supper, technology's demise, BB guns and so much more. Thank you, SLF:thankyou:
I've had a full and somewhat wonderful life, but not without some bad times. In my humble opinion. I'd hope for more years to see how our messed up planet might change, what miraculous things technology might bring, what new friends I might make, and what bits of nature I might be able to see. But I've had a good run of things so far and can accept death. Like everyone else, it's the process that is concerning. Death with dignity is not common in my experience. Medical aid in dying is legal in my state and would be a consideration if the time comes.
My father, uncle, and grandfather were funeral directors and oddly enough it's something that was not discussed much. They were all pretty religious and I guess the comfort they had from their religious beliefs was something of a given.
I'm so sorry about your mother, Alan.
Afraid to die?
No, been there, done that. Came back with the t-shirt.
Afraid to not live a full life? Yes.
Is there nowhere you haven’t been?
Is there nothing you haven’t done?
Is there nothing you don’t own?
Does the afterlife have a gift shop?
Is there nowhere you haven’t been?
Space. But I'm afraid of heights.
Is there nothing you haven’t done?
The key is to read YMOYL and "retire" in your mid-30s, realizing that this life is not the dress-rehearsal for "your real life later". There isn't a next-time, you don't get do-overs.
Is there nothing you don’t own?
A big enough garage.
Does the afterlife have a gift shop?
It was very very cold and dark, if I recall, and the wifi was quite unreliable.
No, I cave dive. But I don’t intend on dying while diving. Like Bae, I intend to live a full life.
No, I cave dive. But I don’t intend on dying while diving. Like Bae, I intend to live a full life.
I dive. And I cave. Doing both at once is....well....wow. Terrifying!!!!
I dive. And I cave. Doing both at once is....well....wow. Terrifying!!!!
Really? What about it terrifies you?
Heights and large catfish really get me.
Really? What about it terrifies you?
Heights and large catfish really get me.
Silt. Disorientation. Getting lost/stuck. Entanglement. Running out of air. Claustrophobia. Basically almost everything that scares me about interior firefighting, without the fire, but with a cave and less chance of rescue.
One of the fellows on my rescue team does diving body recoveries, and after his stories, nope, not me, nope nopity nope! :-)
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