View Full Version : The Vultures Part 2
boss mare
1-23-22, 12:27am
So, DH's brother and his wife (R and Ra) have been hounding DH and R's Uncle (UB) about this 2019 SUV. To the point where the assisted living placed contacted DH about all of their visits. They don't live very far from UB. And in the four years that he has been there, they have not been over much until now.
DH called R and told him that UB doesn't remember saying that they could have it. R still was persistent that they should have it.
DH went back over there and talked to UB again. UB said that R and Ra have been over a lot lately and asking him when they could pick it up. UB told DH to give it to them... BUT the Kelly Blue Book Price is to be deducted from their portion of the inheritance. And they have been asking him for loans (they have always lived way beyond their means) UB handed DH some IOUs in the total of 10K and that is to be taken off the inheritance too. That's a total of 44K !Splat!
Then he told DH.... Let's go and get ourselves one those new Ford Broncos and it will be in both our names and its yours after I am gone.
So UB and DH got a money order and went to the local Ford dealer and paid for it in full. It's on back order and should be here in 3-4 months.
So, DH called R and told them that they could come get the car at the local DVM. While he was sitting in the parking lot. he canceled the insurance. He told R that it was no longer insured, and they needed to get it insured on to their policy. R was complaining that was going to be a problem as it was going to be pretty expensive, and they wanted to wait until the first of the month. Too bad... you wanted, you got it, now you are complaining?!?!
happystuff
1-23-22, 1:31am
Actually, good for your dh and UB on how they handled things! Do R and Ra know that the IOUs and Kelly Blue Price on the car are going to be deducted from their portion of the inheritance? I'm thinking them knowing that would be one way of curbing their desire to keep asking for "loans" and stuff. (Dh might also want to get that in writing from UB before he passes.)
Anyway, again, good for your dh and UB!
Actually, good for your dh and UB on how they handled things! Do R and Ra know that the IOUs and Kelly Blue Price on the car are going to be deducted from their portion of the inheritance? I'm thinking them knowing that would be one way of curbing their desire to keep asking for "loans" and stuff. (Dh might also want to get that in writing from UB before he passes.)
Anyway, again, good for your dh and UB!
The will is going to be updated to reflect that any loans and gifts are to be taken out of inherences. An appointment with the attorney has already been made. UB's only possessions are the clothes on his back and the car. The family farm that he, the siblings and MIL grew up on was sold four years ago. The 10K loan was before DH got involved. DH's mother was originally had that position. When she passed away, UB asked DH to take over. R and Ra don't know about the deductions :moon:
Oh that is good to hear. It’s funny too.
Glad the car situation was resolved in to UB's satisfaction. Not all surprised that R and Ra expected UB to pay for the insurance and probably any future car related expense. Looking forward to the update where R and Ra find out about the Bronco and get mad that DH is co owner.
Since the assisted living people are contacting DH about R and Ra's visits, it might be a good idea to tell them if R and Ra get too rowdy to kick them out and limit their visits.
Keep an eye on the situation, wouldn't be surprised if R and Ra use the car incident and Ra's medical opinion and try to declare UB incompetent and get themselves named guardians. They sound really shady. Sorry you have to deal with them.
Gee, these relatives sound like a real pain, real takers.
Your DH is not the uncle's guardian, is he? If he is not his guardian, he has no legal standing to prohibit them from visiting the uncle in the nursing home.
iris lilies
1-26-22, 9:47am
I guess the vultures will be in for a surprise when the world is red. Probably your uncle will live many years yet.
early morning
1-26-22, 11:05am
Republican red? Communist red? I am confused.
Republican red? Communist red? I am confused.
Maybe "when the will is read?"
IL needs to improve her dictation into the phone to avoid such confusion. ;)
iris lilies
1-26-22, 11:31am
IL needs to improve her dictation into the phone to avoid such confusion. ;)
oh my dictation ap! Blame it all on that! Yes, true.
“when the will is read” is what I said. I’ll not correct it because you guys are being funny.
Gee, these relatives sound like a real pain, real takers.
Your DH is not the uncle's guardian, is he? If he is not his guardian, he has no legal standing to prohibit them from visiting the uncle in the nursing home.
He is his POA for financial. medical and executor of his will. The reason that the assisted place called him is that R and Ra have been MIA in his life for four years. and all of a sudden, they show up and they are fawning all over him. Ra is a nurse and is extremely intrusive and tries to act like she knows more than she does. She was questioning the assisted living supervisor about his meds and putting in her two cents worth and was being very pushy. So, they contacted DH about them.
rosarugosa
1-28-22, 6:46am
Maybe "when the will is read?"
Good guess, Tybee!
It's definitely something to run by a lawyer. The financial POA does not give anyone the right to limit his visitors. The medical one might, if you can show that they are detrimental to his peace of mind. Guardianship would, and medical POA has more power over the circumstances of their lives. Which is not to say the facility will not do whatever your husband asks, but they may not be doing it legally. And so they might go to court to challenge that.
Lots of people use POA's more like a guardianship. But they are not in our state, but maybe this is a durable POA, or springing, where if he becomes incapacitated the POA then converts to a guardianship. But where I live, you would not be able to prohibit the other family from visiting.
iris lilies
1-28-22, 9:10am
In all of this I don’t know how incapacitated the old uncle is.
But the old uncle himself could tell the nursing home people: keep these people away from me, dont let them in. He likely doesn’t have the will to do that however, even if his brain is fully functonal.
In all of this I don’t know how incapacitated the old uncle is.
But the old uncle himself could tell the nursing home people: keep these people away from me, dont let them in. He likely doesn’t have the will to do that however, even if his brain is fully functonal.
Exactly right, and maybe he already did. I would!
Also the assisted living facility is private property, they're within their rights to ask visitors to leave if they're stressing out and/or upsetting the residents, or making it difficult for the employees to do their jobs.
boss mare
1-29-22, 10:10pm
I would like to make clear... Dh's Brother and SIL (R and Ra) are allowed to visit UB. The assisted living workers just gave us a heads up about the unusual and frequent visits of R and Ra . and Ra nosey and intrusive questioning about his medical his story.
dado potato
7-10-22, 11:56pm
The advances of money and a vehicle to R & R (in advance of probate) have an odor of elder abuse about them.
With (non-violent) communication, it may be possible to reach a cordial understanding among all the heirs that advances to any heirs are definitely not in Uncle B's interest. DH, as Power of Attorney for financial matters, can declare that from now on, he will act in the interest of Uncle B to prevent any gifts or payments other than customary charges for services rendered for Uncle B's care and comfort.
In 1859 it was said, "a Buncombe Fence is horse high, bull strong, and pig tight."
Without endorsement (I have not personally done business with the organization), there are third party bill-payers/check-writers, such as Silverbills. When DH and Uncle B and the financial advisor do meet, perhaps they would agree to put payments in the hands of Silverbills, to erect a Buncombe fence.
I do not know what state Uncle B resides in. Certain states have become hotspots for abusive guardianships. But several other states have passed legislation to implement "Supported Decision-Making" as an alternative to guardianships: Texas, Delaware, Alaska, District of Columbia, Indiana, Nevada, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Colorado.
The advances of money and a vehicle to R & R (in advance of probate) have an odor of elder abuse about them.
With (non-violent) communication, it may be possible to reach a cordial understanding among all the heirs that advances to any heirs are definitely not in Uncle B's interest. DH, as Power of Attorney for financial matters, can declare that from now on, he will act in the interest of Uncle B to prevent any gifts or payments other than customary charges for services rendered for Uncle B's care and comfort.
In 1859 it was said, "a Buncombe Fence is horse high, bull strong, and pig tight."
Without endorsement (I have not personally done business with the organization), there are third party bill-payers/check-writers, such as Silverbills. When DH and Uncle B and the financial advisor do meet, perhaps they would agree to put payments in the hands of Silverbills, to erect a Buncombe fence.
I do not know what state Uncle B resides in. Certain states have become hotspots for abusive guardianships. But several other states have passed legislation to implement "Supported Decision-Making" as an alternative to guardianships: Texas, Delaware, Alaska, District of Columbia, Indiana, Nevada, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Colorado.
Thank You so much for your input Everyone one here in this debacle lives in SW Washington
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.