View Full Version : Secret Hoarders
I have a little side job right now, helping clean out a small Madrid refurbished cabin of a long-time resident who passed away just after Christmas. I hadn't been over to her place in quite awhile, but knew she had a LOT of stuff, but not to the degree of the true level 5 hoarder I worked for briefly back in Michigan many years ago. At least you could still walk through her house and take notice of all the hundreds of books, papers, boxes, bags, clothing, kitchen stuff, etc...
She had been ill for a few years, and many in our community helped her by taking her meals, checking her emails (she was almost blind from cataracts but refused to go to a doctor for a few years because she believed she could heal herself by meditation practices). We took her dog for many walks, got her rides into Santa Fe, took her to the grocery store. The one thing she NEVER wanted help with was cleaning up her cute little cabin.
So the other day me and the real estate agent (my neighbor and friend) went over there to start clearing out her possessions, the idea being that we would save the cool stuff and then invite her friends over (once we got it organized) so they could take a memento of hers, or find something of use for their homes. When I first walked through I thought it didn't look too bad because there were no shoulder-high piles of stuff to worm through to get from one room to the other.
But...there are many levels of hoarding. Hers was the bags of bags, boxes of bags, boxes of boxes, bags of boxes, the clothes. SO. Many. Clothes. Clothes stuffed in bags and boxes, under the bed, books everywhere. Doo-dads and trinkets, and dried flowers, and stones arranged in a shrine. Sheets, and more sheets, boxes of sheets, bags of sheets, drawers of sheets. Sleeping bags and comforters, so many comforters. Chairs, lots of chairs, most in decrepit and in unfixable condition. Dog and cat hair, tons of dog and cat hair, and an inch of dry desert dust over everything!
AND MOUSE SHIT. So much mouse shit! Most things were ruined from the dirt, animal hair and mouse shit. So sad...she had some really cool stuff but virtually unusable from the lack of care of it. We don't have a lot of time to clear this place out so basically everything that is gross, dirty and ruined got bagged up and thrown in the driveway, lying in wait for the contractor to make a dump run.
We have one more day of clearing out the rooms left and then the contractor has to go in and rip up the carpet because of the mouse urine smell.
It's so sad to see all this stuff that could have been useful to someone be so ruined. It strengthened my resolve (as it always does) to not EVER leave behind such a mess for someone else to clean up. I purge stuff regularly, and most importantly, I take good care of things if they can be of use to someone else, and if not, I try to recycle it first or if that isn't possible, only then do I throw it away.
Sounds like quite an effort you put out, SiouzQ. And, yes, it is a poignant reminder for me to get back to decluttering and organizing what I have. Thanks for sharing.
You are a kind neighbour. Seems that you are living in a supportive community which is so great to read.
End of life issues are unique, even complex, but it seems that she lived as she wished with her neighbours' caring.
Mice can multiply so quickly and take over. The smell will be the challenge.
I agree with razz and happystuff--you are such a good friend and neighbor. She was lucky to have you.
Such a shame that her things were so neglected, and it certainly is a reminder to not let stuff get out of hand. And then to co-exist with mice to that extent... when I watch shows like Hoaders it hits home that there are so many mental illnesses associated with accepting a lifestyle like that.
It takes a lot of diligence to keep up with the mouse and pack rat problem out here. I'm not surprised that it got totally out of hand as her health began to deteriorate. I have a feeling though that she let it get out of hand before she got so sick though. When you pile boxes of papers and pillows in a corner and forget about them and keep adding to the piles over the years it is like inviting the mice to a lovely new permanent home.
I'm not having a problem dealing with it, but my cohort (who used to be a really good friend of hers) is feeling very sad at the conditions her friend lived in during her past few years. All I can say is "G" did it all her way, right to the very end. No medical-industrial complex for her. She did have a hospice nurse who took care of her at the end but no hospital stay. I kind of applaud her for that, in a way. No one knew she was terminal; she kept such an upbeat, happy, and spiritual attitude about life. She truly was a force of good in the world.
This is a good reminder to look at my stuff with an eye to downsizing how much I have and enjoying what I have more. I am working on my photo albums, trying to catch up since I have not done anything with them since we got here. I just finished an album of my dad's stuff that I brought from his house--I have pictures and stuff that has not seen light of day since 1950. I'm not sure I will keep it forever, but I am at least trying to process it and get it out of the boxes--they had drawers full of mice, too. At least if I get it out into the light and look through it, I can make some order out of it. I never kept as much as he did.
My husband said why not throw it out already, who wants it after you are gone? But I'm trying to do for him what you are trying to do for your friend--see what is worth passing down, getting rid of the junk.
With my own photos, I am trying to catch up this year's so I can keep up with it as they come into the house. Keeping up with stuff is what you need to do and your friend could not at the end. My mom was excellent at that until she got dementia. Then my dad took over, and it was the piles on piles thing.
So I am trying to go through everything now, with an eye to order now and keeping up with it going forward.
But if I get dementia or cancer, I'll probably fall behind. I am seeing the wisdom of a big downsize at around 80-85.
It hurts so much to see their house, that they did keep up with, fallen into disrepair. But it's gone now, and now I just have to deal with the trauma of the loss.
I think sometimes we project our sadness about the loss onto the house and be angry that it didn't look the way it used to, that the owners got old and failed. I don't know.
Bless you for doing this. I hope you're wearing gloves and a mask at the least.
I follow a couple of estate sale companies here locally and occasionally buy a piece of jewelry, or something. One of them has an on-line sale going now and it's a LOT of Longaberger (baskets, pottery, etc. that was a popular home show company in the 1990s - kinda $$). At any rate, a lot of it is still "new in box." I can imagine this lady thinking she'd buy it and someday it would get a great price. Sad to say, it will go for pennies on the dollar. Just a reminder, use your "special" stuff and enjoy it while you can. If it breaks, it breaks. It's just stuff.
Just a reminder, use your "special" stuff and enjoy it while you can. If it breaks, it breaks. It's just stuff.
This is an excellent reminder!!
iris lilies
2-3-22, 2:59pm
My DH has such a hard time understanding “ it’s just stuff.”
however, I respect his basement full of parts to do electrical work, plumbing, carpentry because he can usually come up with a tiny widget that is necessary for any job. Yesterday I was proud of him because he cleaned out an entire large shoebox full of dimmer switches. These dimmer switches no longer work with today’s lightbulbs. He put them right in the landfill trash, he didn’t try to take them apart to mine tiny pieces of metal that he could then sell to the metal scrapper.
He also threw away a shoebox full of baby food jars. I was proud of him for that! We got those years ago from a neighbor for making little jams for Christmas. We used a few of them but the rest sat around. He also gave up seven cookie tins.
The slightly hard thing for me in all this is that I get first pick at anything I unearth. Things that I have found that are very useful to me are an entire almost-full box of Fatwood Sticks (with help immensely in lighting the morning's fire in the woodstove). There is also a black leather sofa in pretty decent condition (I think it was ather house for only a few years so not ruined yet) that will look great in our living room and will replace our really crappy sofa that we currently have).
There is also a really nice (but very heavy) KitchenAid mixer that I am vacillating on. I know they are very good mixers and expensive to buy new, but never in 5 years have I ever pined for a big mixer like that for the kitchen (I hardly ever bake). If I took it, it would have to be stored on top of the refrigerator and if I am honest will probably hardly ever get used. I also unearthed one of those little electric hand mixers, so I think that one will be much more useful to me and can be stored much easier. I'm pretty sure I will not be greedy for the sake of owning a KitchenAid and will leave it for someone else to have.
The only other things I have taken are some small metal trinkets that could be used in an assemblage collage. They've already been neatly put away in the studio in our plastic keeper boxes (all bought cheaply from Savers). Who knows if they'll ever be used, but at least they are stored well!
This is all good practice for me for when I start working at my friend's Estate Sale company next month.
iris lilies
2-3-22, 3:45pm
We got a KitchenAid mixer for a wedding present more than 30 years ago. if you don’t bake it’s probably not worth taking.
Ours sits on our kitchen counter because we have lots of a counter space and it’s fine, but if I was short on kitchen counter space I wouldn’t have it sitting out there and probably wouldn’t have it at all, were it up to me. But DH is the baker in the family.
A 97 yo neighbor passed away a few months back and I suspect her house was in a similar condition. For the last few years of her life, a 60 something alcoholic son lived in her basement but he died two years ago and she became even more reclusive. The estate company has been there for two weeks now coming and going. The sale is tomorrow so I will attend mostly to see what the house is like. Sounds like the one you speak of at least had some community support whereas our neighbor did not have anyone checking on her once her son died.
There is also a really nice (but very heavy) KitchenAid mixer that I am vacillating on. I know they are very good mixers and expensive to buy new, but never in 5 years have I ever pined for a big mixer like that for the kitchen (I hardly ever bake). If I took it, it would have to be stored on top of the refrigerator and if I am honest will probably hardly ever get used. I also unearthed one of those little electric hand mixers, so I think that one will be much more useful to me and can be stored much easier. I'm pretty sure I will not be greedy for the sake of owning a KitchenAid and will leave it for someone else to have.
The only other things I have taken are some small metal trinkets that could be used in an assemblage collage. They've already been neatly put away in the studio in our plastic keeper boxes (all bought cheaply from Savers). Who knows if they'll ever be used, but at least they are stored well!
I bought DH a KitchenAid mixer years ago, when we were living in a house 3x the size of this one. The first year we came up here, I intentionally did not bring it up, but he missed it--and missed all the accessories he had bought, like sausage making attachments and pasta-making attachments. Over the course of about 10 years, he's used those attachments fewer than 5 times. But he does bake from time to time. So we have it up here, and you're right, it's tough to find a good place for it. I keep it under the bench in the mudroom. It's somewhat handy to have, but as IL said, if you don't bake, and you haven't yearned for one yet, I'd be tempted to pass.
We got a KitchenAid mixer for a wedding present more than 30 years ago. if you don’t bake it’s probably not worth taking.
Ours sits on our kitchen counter because we have lots of a counter space and it’s fine, but if I was short on kitchen counter space I wouldn’t have it sitting out there and probably wouldn’t have it at all, were it up to me. But DH is the baker in the family.
I use my KitchenAid at least once a week to make my sourdough bread. It definitely resides on the counter as it is getting too heavy to lift from somewhere else every week. (Yes, IT is getting heavy! I'M NOT getting weaker in my old age!!!!LOL)
I love my KitchenAid. I have had three, I think--I have burnt through them over the 40 years I have owned them. This year, I am going to buy the pasta attachment--I have wanted it for 15 years now. So better late than never.
I love my KitchenAid. I have had three, I think--I have burnt through them over the 40 years I have owned them. This year, I am going to buy the pasta attachment--I have wanted it for 15 years now. So better late than never.
I actually got my KitchenAid for $35!!! (This was over 10 years ago)
Story: Bought a floor model - no box, but all the pieces for $35 (don't think the salesperson knew anything about the mixer). When I got it home, I plugged it in and it wouldn't work!!! I was devastated! Looked up the KitchenAid website and got a contact phone number. The representative on the other end was FABULOUS! Explained that I just bought this mixer, came home, plugged it in and it didn't work. She took the model number and started looking things up. I, meanwhile, was telling her how thrilled I was to actually finally own a KitchenAid mixer and was sooooo hoping she could tell me how to get it to work. Well...turned out the model number was no longer serviceable (even though I just bought it!) This wonderful woman put me on hold, spoke with her supervisor and then informed me that they were shipping me a new mixer! I just had to pack the one I bought back into the new box and return it to them!
So that is the story of how I got a KitchenAid mixer for $35. :)
I love my KitchenAid mixer for making bread as has been mentioned by others. It does all the kneading. I had to pay a lot more than $35 for it though. I tuck under the overhead cupboard on my countertop beside an electrical outlet in the 21 inches between the stove and fridge. It is so handy with no lifting or storage issues.
I am vacillating now, reading your stories of the KitchenAid...I have absolutely NO counterspace for it. I rarely bake anymore. It's too heavy to lift from where I *think* I would store it on top of the refrigerator. We finally cleared most of the odd small kitchen appliances off the refrigerator, keeping only the rice cooker (well-used) and the crockpot (also well-used). We got rid of the electric frying pan, which I used the first year I moved to NM when I didn't have a kitchen, and an electric griddle of K's, which wasn't used enough to warrant keeping.
I am trying to not be greedy because it is a free KitchenAid. I do not need it. Repeat, I do not need it.
Sigh, it'll be there when we go back next Tuesday to finish out the cleaning job...
I am trying to not be greedy because it is a free KitchenAid. I do not need it. Repeat, I do not need it.
Sigh, it'll be there when we go back next Tuesday to finish out the cleaning job...
While I love my KitchenAid and do use it often, I wish it was not so heavy and bulky. If I could actually find something smaller and more lightweight, but that does the same functions as I use, I would definitely replace it. So I get the whole "I don't need it".
I depend on mine so much that I would always give it counterspace, or I would buy a butcher block table to give it its own counterspace. But I admire your restraint.
early morning
2-5-22, 5:32pm
Our friends all chipped in and bought us a KitchenAid for a wedding gift back in the 70s, and we were thrilled. I don't use it much now, but for many years it was used almost daily. I need to replace the speed control - it takes longer to beat cream into complete submission (ie: butter) than it used to. I'm on my second meat grinder - the first one I got had some plastic components and we wore it out, but now I have my mom's, from the 1940s - all metal-, and it works like a dream. The dough hook is fantabulous, also. That said - it IS heavy, and if you don't need a stand mixer, passing on it is likely for the best.
My mom has a 50's era KitchenAid that could be passed down to me (if my sister or brother don't want it) when the time comes. That KitchenAid would mean much more to me because of the memories associated with it. I'd probably keep that one if it came my way. I used to love watching her make the Thanksgiving cranberry jello mold where she would put the cranberries and orange peels into the meat grinder thingy and I'd watch those beautifully colored "worms" of fruit spill out into the waiting bowl.
At one time we found a butter churn and drink mixer attachments for the kitchenaid. They were still in the boxes. A friend has said he has all the fancy attachments and we can try them to see if they will be something we can use. So far I have only made yeast dough in the mixer and not sure I will do many other things. It is only the two of us.
Alas, we went back into the cabin today to finish up. It was rough. The occupant was a writer, and she hoarded every single piece of paper or photograph that came her way. Nothing was tossed over the years, so it was baskets and boxes and layers upon layers of dirty, dusty, animal hair-ridden papers, old padded envelopes, boxes things were shipped in, envelopes (SO. MANY. EVELOPES.), every letter anyone ever wrote to her, check registers, random coins, books, photos, things torn out of magazines, and on and on. All ruined by mouse shit. Yes, I was wearing gloves and an N-95 mask, but still...it's very sad to understand how her house was so bad for her health and she wouldn't let anyone help her clean it up even as she was slowly dying of cancer. Cleaning out under the kitchen sink was GROSS!
I took home some Pyrex pans that we needed at our house, and a small bookshelf for the studio (saves me from going to Savers tomorrow to find a small table for the studio to make it more functional)! I took home the electric hand mixer (which looked fairly new) and plugged it in and it DOESN'T WORK! I'm still not going to take the KitchenAid mixer though!
Alas, we went back into the cabin today to finish up. It was rough. The occupant was a writer, and she hoarded every single piece of paper or photograph that came her way. Nothing was tossed over the years, so it was baskets and boxes and layers upon layers of dirty, dusty, animal hair-ridden papers, old padded envelopes, boxes things were shipped in, envelopes (SO. MANY. EVELOPES.), every letter anyone ever wrote to her, check registers, random coins, books, photos, things torn out of magazines, and on and on. All ruined by mouse shit. Yes, I was wearing gloves and an N-95 mask, but still...it's very sad to understand how her house was so bad for her health and she wouldn't let anyone help her clean it up even as she was slowly dying of cancer. Cleaning out under the kitchen sink was GROSS!
I took home some Pyrex pans that we needed at our house, and a small bookshelf for the studio (saves me from going to Savers tomorrow to find a small table for the studio to make it more functional)! I took home the electric hand mixer (which looked fairly new) and plugged it in and it DOESN'T WORK! I'm still not going to take the KitchenAid mixer though!
That's kind of funny about the mixer. I admire the way you are looking at what is coming in with a very balanced view as to what is best for you. That is wonderful. Such a good way to honor your friend, to just keep the most useful things and let go of the rest.
Your coin comment made me think about one of the times we were cleaning out my parents house and my son was there and he gathered up all the loose change he found and then when we went to the grocery, he paid for all the food for us with the coins. Very practical.
Put the mixer on free Craigslist or on a Buy Nothing group, and you will make someone very happy!
I also don't bake much, use ours maybe once or twice a year, and yes, it's heavy, and hard to take out and put away. But I do like having it.
Today is Open House Day, where we invited all of G's friends to come over and select an item (or many items, hopefully) to remember her by. Whatever is left will be donated to our town's tiny little thrift shop and/or taken to Savers. So far I have put 14 hours into this endeavor, plus another three more this afternoon.
Teacher Terry
2-19-22, 2:36pm
It’s a big job to clean out a house. I have done it many times for family and friends.
happystuff
2-19-22, 2:37pm
Wow, SiouzQ, what an endeavor you have undertaken. And what a wonderful example of friendship and caring.
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