PDA

View Full Version : House next door sold for $100K over list



pinkytoe
3-19-22, 2:37pm
It is just incredulous to me what has happened to the real estate market. The house is a small fixer on a small lot. Luckily, it is a young couple who won the house rather than another investor.

iris lilies
3-19-22, 2:40pm
Yikes! Not s good time to buy.

Teacher Terry
3-19-22, 2:58pm
Wow! Was the house priced under market in the beginning to get a bidding war started?

sweetana3
3-19-22, 3:30pm
The potential of interest rates hikes is raising anxiety among potential homebuyers and the inventory of houses for sale is still incredibly limited. Supply and demand.

ApatheticNoMore
3-19-22, 3:34pm
The house is a small fixer on a small lot.

that will go fast, since the listing price will be less ridiculous - small house, small lot, fixer upper, older house (so expect wear and tear but hopefully not a tear-down), yea *snaps fingers* and it's gone. But not necessarily go for 100k more than listing, since the whole reason a house like that will go real fast is price.

bae
3-19-22, 4:02pm
My Dad bought a condo on the island this week.

Over the past several years, only one other condo has come onto the market, and it sold for a lot, as it was fancy.

This one is in a building in the village that until recently was sort of a slum. It's improving, as any real estate here is now so expensive that it doesn't make sense to keep it in slum-condition.

The tenant in Dad's place had been there 12 years. A shut-in and a hoarder and a smoker. We will have to spend the next month gutting it. Dad only got it because of a miracle - our realtor heard that it was about to go on the market, and did a deal, knowing that we were looking for a place for Dad. He got it done before about 10 offers piled in the next day as word of the opportunity got out. Luckily. Dad still paid perhaps twice what it would have cost 7 years ago. And the only reason he scored it was because of personal relationships and karma.

catherine
3-19-22, 4:07pm
Please don't tell DH all these stories. :).

We haven't sealed the deal on my son buying our house, but we had agreed to a price a year ago that seemed reasonable, considering a discount based on our passing on them the savings from not needing to get a realtor involved. But our neighborhood continues to climb and DH wants to tear his hair out, knowing our one opportunity to win big in real estate is going to be diluted by this deal with our son. We're not about to our son out, but it would have been fun to be on the winning side of a crazy real estate bubble for once--it would have mitigated the terrible loss we incurred with my MIL's situation.

JaneV2.0
3-19-22, 4:14pm
I can attest to the lack of properties--at least in the cities I routinely check. I used to be able to find one or two condos in the complex I lived in before, but lately it's just unimproved land and two or three tired properties moldering in the listings. Meanwhile, Chez Decay's Redfin Estimate is skyrocketing, which seems delightful, if--by my estimates--completely unrealistic.

Great news about your father's real estate score, Bae!

Tybee
3-19-22, 5:11pm
This just happened to my friend in Savannah--house in a less desirable part of my grandparents' old neighborhood just sold for 100 thousand over listing, on the first day it was listed. This is a house that would have sold for about 150k two years ago. It went for 468k.

That is insane.

pinkytoe
3-19-22, 5:27pm
It was a cute little house though very dated and our hood is central and next to a wonderful park so desirable. We know we could get a really good price for ours right now but have no place to go. Thinking it might be best to sell anyway and rent until things cool down. The thought of having to pay $2000 or more a month to rent though is scary.

ToomuchStuff
3-19-22, 5:45pm
Catherine,

Think of it as passing the win, on to the future, avoiding estate issues later.

In my case, buying the house for $100k or so, less then what the market is currently bringing.

iris lilies
3-19-22, 5:47pm
Please don't tell DH all these stories. :).

We haven't sealed the deal on my son buying our house, but we had agreed to a price a year ago that seemed reasonable, considering a discount based on our passing on them the savings from not needing to get a realtor involved. But our neighborhood continues to climb and DH wants to tear his hair out, knowing our one opportunity to win big in real estate is going to be diluted by this deal with our son. We're not about to our son out, but it would have been fun to be on the winning side of a crazy real estate bubble for once--it would have mitigated the terrible loss we incurred with my MIL's situation.

Your son is more than getting a good deal. Close the deal. Get the money. He’s strung you along too long now, not that you asked me of course! Although for all I know of the delay isn’t on his side it is on your side.

What is the hold up anyway? I swear if you say he can’t get the money together, I’m gonna tell you that he cannot afford this house.

catherine
3-19-22, 6:03pm
It has to do with DIL.. a couple of issues. She was unemployed for a little while (recently re-employed), plus she had some "concerns" that have to do with security issues--frankly, I don't understand that part of the equation, however.... They can definitely afford the house.

razz
3-19-22, 6:27pm
I believe DIL was the one who wanted the house at the outset so is she losing enthusiasm to buy &/or found another one more preferred but scared to say so? It would be so heartbreaking if they bought yours and flipped it in short order to buy another when prices have risen so much. Women choose the homes usually while their partners provide shared and important insights. Her concerns at this point are serious as they have lived there for some time (two years?) and should be quite enthusiastic about closing the deal.

Teacher Terry
3-19-22, 7:10pm
Yes have a serious talk and if they don’t want to buy it that’s great.

iris lilies
3-19-22, 9:45pm
Yes have a serious talk and if they don’t want to buy it that’s great.
Yes.

catherine,

I don’t suppose you have any written contract in place.

Give your son a deadline and move on this deal. He got sweet rent under market rate for a long, long time. He’s getting a sweet purchase price. And now you are losing potential sale income.

Of course you aren’t going to kick him out, he knows that. We knew that when you entered this deal. And if the real estate market drops suddenly, which I doubt that it would, he would want a cheaper price than what you agreed to. And you would give it to him.

He is taking advantage.

Get. The. Money.

catherine
3-20-22, 8:18pm
(changing the subject)...>8)

I'm just watching 60 Minutes and it's about the crazy real estate market. There are companies that are buying tons of houses, particularly in the Sun Belt--and a Redfin realtor said that 30% of her houses are snapped up by large corporate investors who offer cash immediately, wave the inspection, and then they put in on the market as a rental, with an inflated rent price.

It's shutting out first time homebuyers. No one can compete with these huge companies who sweep in, put in $10-15k to freshen it up and then it's off the market for people who actually want to buy a house.

iris lilies
3-20-22, 8:37pm
We are contacted 2 to 3 times a week by flippers, but I don’t think it’s big corporations doing it. But maybe it is, who knows.. Sometimes I play along with them, sometimes I just say I’m not interested. The last two I talked to went like this:

Flipper No. 1: Do you want to sell your (little house)?
Me: We sold that more than a year ago we no longer own it.
Flipper No. 1: OK. Do you have any other properties you want to sell?
Me: sure, this house that I live in. $350,000.
flipper number one: a let me look something up. OK we can give you $189,000. How’s that sound?
Me: you know this property comes with two separately deeded lots.
Flipper number one: we can give you $189,000 cash. Right away.!!!
Me: no thanks


That flipper did not sound very bright anyway, she was just the initial prospect caller.


Flipper number two: do you want to sell your (little house?)
Me: we sold that more than a year ago.
Flipper number two: thank you for that information. Do you have any other properties you’d like to sell?
Me: sure. The house I live in. $350,000.
Flipper number two: Let me look that up. It has three bedrooms, one and a half baths is that right?
Me: well it’s actually 1.75 bathrooms. It has two separately deeded lots attached to it.
Flipper number two. Let me talk to my colleagues and I will get back to you.

That flipper was calling from India, obviously the prospector. He was extremely polite and professional. So his colleague called back, a local guy out in the county. His name was Kyle. Kyle and I had a long talk several times where I gave him information about our house and sent him photographs. Basically Kyle believes it needed too much updating for it to be a good buy for his company.

I told him yes that’s correct this is not a house for flippers. Our target market is people who want to get into this neighborhood at a good price and are willing to put up with grime and outdated flooring and lack of bathrooms.

Teacher Terry
3-20-22, 9:55pm
When I sold my house last year I had a cash offer from a investor for 29k under asking. The others were all higher with 2 for 31 over asking.

JaneV2.0
3-20-22, 11:21pm
Most of the "We pay cash" flippers just leave notes or send letters, but one actually turned up on my porch. I didn't think fast enough to ask him what it was about my "No Solicitors" sign he didn't understand.

rosarugosa
3-21-22, 5:16am
(changing the subject)...>8)

I'm just watching 60 Minutes and it's about the crazy real estate market. There are companies that are buying tons of houses, particularly in the Sun Belt--and a Redfin realtor said that 30% of her houses are snapped up by large corporate investors who offer cash immediately, wave the inspection, and then they put in on the market as a rental, with an inflated rent price.

It's shutting out first time homebuyers. No one can compete with these huge companies who sweep in, put in $10-15k to freshen it up and then it's off the market for people who actually want to buy a house.

I had read an in-depth article about that recently; I forget where. I thought it was really creepy and I'm so glad I'm not a first-time homebuyer in this market.

iris lilies
3-21-22, 5:31am
Well something positive about these huge corporate companies who do this bad stuff is that they’re making more rental properties available, right?


Do buyers have inherent right to own property? Don’t people who rent have a need to for a place to live as well?


I don’t think this is happening in the city of St. Louis though, at least not around here in my immediate neighborhoods because we would’ve heard about it. It might be because the housing sock is too old and unpredictable around here.

sweetana3
3-21-22, 5:36am
There is a great documentary by The Fifth Estate on the Canadian rental market reposted on Youtube. I think this is the site: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSKOfmrHfQ4

Not just an issue for home buyers but for renters in almost all categories. We have companies here in Indy who advertise and "train" people to buy up properties and either flip or rent them. It does not take big corporations. They have a terrible reputation. Then don't get me started on the seemingly fake nonprofit companies located elsewhere who buy up whole apartment complexes and then rake in the rent and let them deteriorate. One company owes $1.3 million in water bills that the tenants paid for in their rent. Just hit the news big time. Indiana has poor laws for tenants and for those trying to help tenants from predatory landlords.

Teacher Terry
3-21-22, 6:07am
I think 60 minutes said the country is short 4 million housing units because enough aren’t being built. It’s another factor in driving up rents. I knew when I divorced the only way I could afford to stay here was to buy. Plus I hate renting.

jp1
3-21-22, 9:24am
We went to an open house yesterday in a development just on the other side of the hill behind us. Townhouse the same size as ours, same age, with the same view, etc. The only real difference is that teh bathrooms in that one have all been nicely redone. They are asking $150k more than what we paid 1 1/2 years ago. It will be interesting to see what they get for it.

happystuff
3-21-22, 9:39am
I think 60 minutes said the country is short 4 million housing units because enough aren’t being built. It’s another factor in driving up rents. I knew when I divorced the only way I could afford to stay here was to buy. Plus I hate renting.

I would love to rent, but rents are totally outrageous in my area. Simple two bedroom apartment will run over $1500. - nothing included! That's more than a paycheck! If we ever lost this house, we would probably look for a mobile home or used rv or something.

catherine
3-21-22, 9:49am
I think 60 minutes said the country is short 4 million housing units because enough aren’t being built. It’s another factor in driving up rents. I knew when I divorced the only way I could afford to stay here was to buy. Plus I hate renting.

Yeah, they did say that and that's scary enough as it is..

As for ILs question:

Do buyers have inherent right to own property? Don’t people who rent have a need to for a place to live as well?

Sure, but it's taking a huge chunk of the transactions out of the hands of the individual buyer/seller and putting it in the hands of people with far more leverage, and far more ability to manipulate the market and push prices (both rents and purchase) higher. The other part of the 60 minutes piece was that the rents are being raised to the point where the tenants can't afford to stay in their own apartments anymore.

ToomuchStuff
3-21-22, 10:10am
Do buyers have inherent right to own property? Don’t people who rent have a need to for a place to live as well?


I don’t think this is happening in the city of St. Louis though, at least not around here in my immediate neighborhoods because we would’ve heard about it. It might be because the housing sock is too old and unpredictable around here.

No, buyers have a right to life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness (pursuing home ownership, is not the same thing).
Certainly renters have a need for a place to live. This is why so many people are pushing for things such as little homes, etc.

I am not sure how you would hear about it or not. I know a Chinese investment company, bought our former mayors house, that a bunch of us helped build his garage. The only reason I do know that, is because of a mutual friend. While we get a bunch of cards from investors and flippers, I have no idea about the money behind them (seen local billboards, advertising money for flippers).

pinkytoe
3-21-22, 10:10am
I believe they said on the 60 Minutes show that Austin rents had gone up 40% in one year. so the greed factor needs to be mentioned in there somewhere too. Rising prices have certainly put a stop to our ability to relocate. As the values rise, so do the taxes. The Canadian CEO of Tricor was very smug in his assessment about how millennials want the freedom of renting so appreciate their rentals.

ToomuchStuff
3-21-22, 10:20am
I believe they said on the 60 Minutes show that Austin rents had gone up 40% in one year. so the greed factor needs to be mentioned in there somewhere too. Rising prices have certainly put a stop to our ability to relocate. As the values rise, so do the taxes. The Canadian CEO of Tricor was very smug in his assessment about how millennials want the freedom of renting so appreciate their rentals.

Besides the greed factor, did they mention the rent moratorium?
How many people have raised rents, to make up for renters that either haven't paid, or will never pay back rent, during the pandemic?
My friend who sold his three streets of duplexes, had three people in them that didn't pay. All the duplexes need updating (one hadn't been since 1979). Some investor offered him a good amount and then wanted his company to still manage them. One of the non paying renters, paid the back rent the day the moratorium came off, another was evicted, and my understanding is the third died of a heart attack, when he realized it was due.
What is "greed" and what is wanting a bigger egg to support the ones who have to still pay the property taxes, mortgage, etc. with no income, in the future?

Teacher Terry
3-21-22, 10:35am
Our rents have gone up 38% and 68% in the past 2 years. Happy, 1500 for a 2 bedroom apartment here would be a steal. Of course that doesn’t mean it’s not a ridiculous price by you guys.

razz
3-21-22, 11:57am
Property values are crazy here. When I bought my brand new 1333 sq ft house about 8 years ago, a small 2-storey property 2 blocks away and built around 20 years before mine was valued at around $200,000 and rented for years. It is now listed for sale at $699,000. Insanity!

People in their later 70's and early 80's buying new small condos are taking on a mortgage that needs the gov't and private pensions of both to pay for basic living expenses. Add in the condo fees, need for a car to access basic services and now increasing prices for everything. My financial adviser wonders how people will cope when interest rates for the mortgages rise.

pinkytoe
3-21-22, 12:50pm
Agreed the moratorium was very hard on mom and pop investors. It's all a mess any way you slice it. Having been a landlord previously, I don't get the appeal. I was never so glad to get away from that experience - bad tenants and endless maintenance issues. Any profit is not worth the stress at least for me.

catherine
3-21-22, 1:01pm
Besides the greed factor, did they mention the rent moratorium?
How many people have raised rents, to make up for renters that either haven't paid, or will never pay back rent, during the pandemic?
My friend who sold his three streets of duplexes, had three people in them that didn't pay. All the duplexes need updating (one hadn't been since 1979). Some investor offered him a good amount and then wanted his company to still manage them. One of the non paying renters, paid the back rent the day the moratorium came off, another was evicted, and my understanding is the third died of a heart attack, when he realized it was due.
What is "greed" and what is wanting a bigger egg to support the ones who have to still pay the property taxes, mortgage, etc. with no income, in the future?

I'm sure the moratorium hurt many landlords, but the government plugged that hole in some cases--at least I know that's true for Vermont. Renters could apply for relief from rent, and the State sent a check that covered the rent directly to the landlord.

I think the greed that pinkytoe mentioned was probably related to the opportunistic behavior of large publicly traded corporations that raised rents just because they could.

ApatheticNoMore
3-21-22, 1:09pm
I don't actually think institutional investor are making more rentals available much less affordable. Nah what would do that is building more apartments, but they just build condos these days. But I don't know if they are huge players in the market here either.

If everything was equal I'd probably buy. Everything is not equal, rent is less than $1500 a month, buying a one bedroom or so house would be OVER $3000 a month (and that's the type of cheap small old house that goes really fast). Condos aren't much less, and then the condo that is of course a 50 year old building and you wonder about it's remaining lifespan (no you don't have to worry about that as a renter, you haven't socked as much of your savings into it for one thing! Rent isn't "saving" of course, it's just an expense but again it's MUCH less money than buying anything).

iris lilies
3-21-22, 3:54pm
I'm sure the moratorium hurt many landlords, but the government plugged that hole in some cases--at least I know that's true for Vermont. Renters could apply for relief from rent, and the State sent a check that covered the rent directly to the landlord.

I think the greed that pinkytoe mentioned was probably related to the opportunistic behavior of large publicly traded corporations that raised rents just because they could.

I’m not convinced that the great government program of rent payback was so smooth and sweet for all concerned. At a neighborhood meeting our alderman mentioned to the landlords in the group some landlords in our area were having trouble getting compensation from the government because the tenants were required to complete and sign certain paperwork, and the tenants were refusing to do so.

And it’s really no skin off their nose is it? They can’t be kicked out. They don’t have to sign no stinkin’ paperwork. Apparently these tenants did not want their names associated with a government program for some reason where they had to give their Social Security number or some such thing. There’s no way around that that I heard of anyway.

And then, we went to dinner Friday with friends who have a few rentals in our neighborhood and got an earful about how that government program screwed them over. They were stiffed by two tenants at two separate rentals for years worth of unpaid utilities. Of course these tenants had not paid rent, and our friends did finally get the rental money from the government. But there’s no program to pay back the utilities these renters have not paid for, and had the tenants/squatters not been there at the grace of the government they would not of racked up huge utility bills. Being deadbeats across all categories including rent and utilities, they would’ve been booted out. Our landlording friends are stuck with thousands of dollars in utility bills.

So yeah not really all sunny for the landlords.

But I will also say that our friends really need to pay the tenants’ utility bills themselves and charge their tenants for utilities wrapped up in the rent. A savvy landlord friend of ours from years ago said he always did that for exactly this reason.

jp1
3-21-22, 4:00pm
Living in a condo doesn’t really insulate one from the costs of maintaining an older building. The costs just get spread around to more people but since the building is bigger than a house the costs are too. One of the things we liked about our place when we were buying was that the hoa has solid finances. They are accruing reserves sufficient to cover all anticipated upcoming expenses. A friend of ours, on the other hand, lives in a townhouse development that’s about 15 years older than ours and they are looking at a few hefty assessments in the coming couple of years because the hoa hasn’t been able to set aside enough reserves for a couple of really expensive projects that need to be done. And at $600 her monthly hoa fee is already 50% higher than ours.

iris lilies
3-29-22, 9:53am
I just learned that a house the size of ours sold nearby for $100,000 over list price, and I will tell you that the list price was tiptop. Now the house was in perfect condition owned by a single woman who had it repainted every three years and had it cleaned every week. She has no pets or children so how could it possibly get dirty? But anyway – wow.

Oh yeah this house has all these defects: a kitchen two generations old with formica countertops. Tiny patio and back with no other yard and no room to build a garage. Limited to parking on the street in the business district.

But it was a pretty house and photographed like a dream, and I am happy to say there was nothing modern about it, there were no gray floors no gray walls no “open concept. “

Crazy people from California bought it and the one thing they were willing to pay a high price for was possession the following week, so she gave it to them. The problem is that the bank would not appraise that high so they had to come down somewhat and both compromised but still it was a very high price and probably the highest per square footage price we’ve seen around here.

pinkytoe
3-29-22, 11:03am
I inquired of another house in an area we like and was told matter of factly by the listing agent "highest and best by Tuesday at noon." She did not offer the usual "do you have an agent" or "can I help you find a house" as realtors used to do. I have to wonder how long eBay style house sales can continue. My opinion of realtors continues to sink.

jp1
4-16-22, 3:33pm
The townhouse across the hill from us that is essentially just like ours but with a little bigger kitchen and little smaller yard closed at the asking price of $875k. I'm in shock since that's $150k more than we paid just a year and a half ago despite interest rates being at least a point higher.

Tradd
4-16-22, 3:35pm
Yikes!

Tybee
4-16-22, 7:49pm
This morning my husband was talking to a lady who lives in Michigan in our old town. A house next door to her went on market at 270,000 and sold a day later for 417,000. This has to be a bubble. Or not.

pinkytoe
4-16-22, 7:50pm
We have stopped looking. It is a fool's game at this point.

iris lilies
4-16-22, 7:59pm
We have stopped looking. It is a fool's game at this point.
That’s what I think.

Tradd
4-16-22, 9:08pm
A friend told me today that her 30ish son wants to get out of Chicago and move to California. Disbelief was my reaction. Her son has very little money and is in a profession that tends to have low wages (social work). She said he wants to move somewhere warm. I told her there are plenty of places in warm climates that don't have the ridiculous housing costs that California does.

JaneV2.0
4-17-22, 2:28pm
This is the condo next door to the one I used to own. These were going for about 100K less just a few months ago.

4388

pinkytoe
4-17-22, 4:28pm
DD just got her property tax appraisal for the house they bought two years ago outside of Austin. They paid around $450K and it shows her 2022 market value at just under $1mil. Nothing about this makes sense.

jp1
4-19-22, 10:59pm
DD just got her property tax appraisal for the house they bought two years ago outside of Austin. They paid around $450K and it shows her 2022 market value at just under $1mil. Nothing about this makes sense.

As messed up as I think prop 13 is I’m glad we have it to protect us from crazy property tax increases.

catherine
4-26-22, 7:50am
So, here is an example of the insanity of the NJ market.

Here is a house--no, excuse me--a 2 bedroom condo that sold for almost 2M in Asbury Park. Asbury Park!!! Not exactly Palm Beach. In fact, the home of the Stone Pony had a terrible 80s Times Square moment for decades. No one wanted to go there, never mind live there. Then in the 2000s, it started attracting people with a newly vibrant restaurant scene. DH and I actually had visions of buying a house there at one point because we figured we could get it cheap. That would have been a GOOD real estate decision, if we had ever followed through. But by then, I had fixated on the town across the little waterway from Asbury--Ocean Grove.

But look at it now. If I fell into 10M dollars I wouldn't spend 2M on an apartment there. A house in Ocean Grove, maybe... depending upon how climate change affects the area in the future

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1101-Ocean-Ave-UNIT-1612-Asbury-Park-NJ-07712/325562266_zpid/

iris lilies
4-26-22, 8:32am
So, here is an example of the insanity of the NJ market.

Here is a house--no, excuse me--a 2 bedroom condo that sold for almost 2M in Asbury Park. Asbury Park!!! Not exactly Palm Beach. In fact, the home of the Stone Pony had a terrible 80s Times Square moment for decades. No one wanted to go there, never mind live there. Then in the 2000s, it started attracting people with a newly vibrant restaurant scene. DH and I actually had visions of buying a house there at one point because we figured we could get it cheap. That would have been a GOOD real estate decision, if we had ever followed through. But by then, I had fixated on the town across the little waterway from Asbury--Ocean Grove.

But look at it now. If I fell into 10M dollars I wouldn't spend 2M on an apartment there. A house in Ocean Grove, maybe... depending upon how climate change affects the area in the future

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1101-Ocean-Ave-UNIT-1612-Asbury-Park-NJ-07712/325562266_zpid/

It is posh tho, and right on the beach. The building’s amenities are super!

catherine
4-26-22, 9:03am
It is posh tho, and right on the beach. The building’s amenities are super!

Yeah, great amenities, with a 2k/month HOA fee!! I can get a gym with a pool at the Y for a a lot less than that!

razz
4-26-22, 9:12am
I keep thinking - who has this kind of money?

iris lilies
4-26-22, 9:14am
I keep thinking - who has this kind of money?
Yeah, me too!

I guess the mortgage companies have that kind of money.

catherine
4-26-22, 9:18am
I keep thinking - who has this kind of money?

It breaks my heart because every nice property in that area is going for around 1M, and I was there when it was the Jersey Shore's best kept secret. I love VT and I'm glad I'm here, but it's always nice to have options, and my second favorite town is now not an option.

pinkytoe
4-26-22, 9:42am
Realtor told us that about 30% are all cash offers regardless of price. Some are people cashing in IRAs or other investments. Lots of wealthy boomers helping kids buy homes too.

iris lilies
4-26-22, 9:58am
Realtor told us that about 30% are all cash offers regardless of price. Some are people cashing in IRAs or other investments. Lots of wealthy boomers helping kids buy homes too.
I am hoping the couple we’ve talked to about buying our house has cash. That will simplify matters.

Every house we’ve purchased in Missouri, and there have been 6 of them, have been cash buys, but of course they are cheap. Their total cost is probably equal to what many Americans use as a downpayment.

Tybee
4-27-22, 6:36am
We took less for our house in Michigan because they had cash and could close in two weeks. It was stress free.

befree
5-2-22, 10:06am
I think it's mostly the corporations that can pay all cash, though. I just talked to somebody who had been on a long vacation to New Zealand, and he said a huge number of their homes are being bought up by corporations from Asia. Then the prices go up and the born-and-raised there New Zealanders can't afford to live there. There are quite a few places here in the U.S. where the homes sell for so much money, the property taxes go up correspondingly, and people whose families have lived in the area for generations can't afford to live there anymore. Was it the 1980s when the mortgage rate was 18%? I bought my first house in the 90s, and I remember looking at a lot of overpriced houses where the owner was "upside down" and really couldn't afford to get out of their houses at the going rate. Surely the bubble will burst on houses that are selling for double what they're actually worth, and the buyer will be stuck

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 10:34am
A new--rather ugly, IMO--rowhouse development is advertised in my little burb, starting at only 900K. Such a deal.

iris lilies
5-2-22, 10:44am
I think it's mostly the corporations that can pay all cash, though. I just talked to somebody who had been on a long vacation to New Zealand, and he said a huge number of their homes are being bought up by corporations from Asia. Then the prices go up and the born-and-raised there New Zealanders can't afford to live there. There are quite a few places here in the U.S. where the homes sell for so much money, the property taxes go up correspondingly, and people whose families have lived in the area for generations can't afford to live there anymore. Was it the 1980s when the mortgage rate was 18%? I bought my first house in the 90s, and I remember looking at a lot of overpriced houses where the owner was "upside down" and really couldn't afford to get out of their houses at the going rate. Surely the bubble will burst on houses that are selling for double what they're actually worth, and the buyer will be stuck

I was chatting wi5 a neighborhood real estate agent who said that her clients buying with cash were the upper level buyers, not the ones buying houses like mine. She had listed at least one $1 million+ property and several near that, and had multiple,p buyers qualified for full cash buys.

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 11:19am
I would think a lot of people with paid-off houses will sell and downsize with cash. That's my personal fantasy anyway.

bae
5-2-22, 12:20pm
I would think a lot of people with paid-off houses will sell and downsize with cash. That's my personal fantasy anyway.

I have thought about doing that here, but there isn’t much selection of things to downsize into. I’d have to move somewhere else. And the transaction costs/taxes would be absurd.

happystuff
5-2-22, 12:26pm
I look every now and then in my area to do this and smaller places are still so expensive!

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 12:30pm
I have thought about doing that here, but there isn’t much selection of things to downsize into. I’d have to move somewhere else. And the transaction costs/taxes would be absurd.

I look at properties here and in Beaverton. Here there are exactly 23 listings, and 15 of them are million- and multi-million dollar units. So that's out. This (300K mobile) is the most interesting one:

4450

When/if I downsize, my taxes should go way down.
ETA: I'm fortunate to be in the lowest capital gains bracket.

happystuff
5-2-22, 12:34pm
I look at properties here and in Beaverton. Here there are exactly 23 listings, and 15 of them are million- and multi-million dollar units. So that's out. This (300K mobile) is the most interesting one:

4450

When/if I downsize, my taxes should go way down.

Wow! 300K for a mobile home? Is the property included?

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 1:29pm
Wow! 300K for a mobile home? Is the property included?

I don't think so, but there are mobile homes in the next town over, with land, in the same price range.

bae
5-2-22, 1:57pm
I don't think so, but there are mobile homes in the next town over, with land, in the same price range.

That mobile home, at that price, would be snapped up here in a moment!

We've been looking for a place for my Dad to purchase for ~2 years now. Mobile homes on their own lots here tended to be about $350k, and in poor condition.

My Dad just closed on a very small condo here on the island. In a complex with I think about 12 units. Until fairly recently, this complex was full of druggies and poorly maintained. I've been there 40-50 times over the years dealing with overdose and domestic-violence calls. Between the poor economy here, Covid, inflation, and the general gentrification of the islands, these units used to not have much of a market. And typically sold for ~$80-90k, perhaps the cheapest housing on the island. I almost bought the one Dad bought, about 6 years ago, when it was listed at $95k, but declined to do so because the complex was a wretched hive of scum and villainy. It did not sell then, and was withdrawn from the market.

Dad paid ~$175k for his, when he sealed the deal about 2 months ago. The only other condo on the entire island that had sold in the past 4-5 years went for $225k or so, and was a 3 bedroom unit in a much nicer 4-unit complex, with the condos being individual buildings. Dad's is ~800 sq. ft 1 bedroom, and the complex is a 2-story apartment-style building. (There is very little supply of such things here). Dad only scored this unit because the real estate agent who has done all my work here knew it was becoming available, and Made Things Happen.

Anyways, another unit in Dad's complex, nearly identical, just sold Friday for ~$250k. The only real difference is that Dad's unit requires cleanup from a smoker living in it, and new paint. Perhaps a couple days/weeks of effort, which we begin today :-). The more expensive unit was move-in-ready.

The median listing price on the island at the end of March 2022 was $968k.

The price of new construction as of last week was running $800-$1000/sq.ft. My plans to build a small guesthouse on one of my existing parcels was frustrated by this. In addition, even at that price, it is hard to find contractors and materials in a timely fashion, and building something simple might have taken several years to accomplish, even if I wanted to drop $800k to build a simple small Dad-home.

I'm not sure how people who aren't already on the housing-escalator manage. Rents here are insane, and the availability of rental units is very very low. Many of my friends, long-term residents here with good jobs, are becoming unhoused as a result.

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 2:27pm
The lack of inventory everywhere I have looked has been startling.

That your father scored a scarce condo makes me almost giddy--I love hearing of people finding a cozy place to live!

bae
5-2-22, 2:31pm
The lack of inventory everywhere I have looked has been startling.

That your father scored a scarce condo makes me almost giddy--I love hearing of people finding a cozy place to live!

It was a total miracle really. It only happened because of a 20+ year relationship with the local real estate community, and a lot of karma points. I think it would have been snapped up instantly if it had hit the market, even though it was packed to the rafters with clutter and smells just terrible. We're showing up with a bunch of off-duty firefighters this week in the evenings and gutting/replacing the interior, basically. Luckily a lot of firefighters are in the construction trades in their day jobs :-)

Hiring out this renovation work would have been terribly expensive, and taken months to accomplish, at best. So we're doing sort of a virtual barn-raising to fix it up.

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 2:38pm
I'll expect "after" pictures!

bae
5-2-22, 2:41pm
I'll expect "after" pictures!

Here's the "before":

https://www.timeshighereducation.com/sites/default/files/Pictures/web/c/x/e/raiders_of_the_lost_ark_warehouse_scene.jpg

catherine
5-2-22, 2:49pm
Wow. Best wishes for your dad, bae!

A couple of months ago I reported that BIL was doing great--had stopped drinking, had a job, and had signed on to share a house in a really nice neighborhood.

Well, he does have a decent job, and he kind of stopped drinking, but when he went to move into the shared house, as it turns out he didn't know it was a dry house. That's another story, but the real bottom line is, my son called me and said that we need to talk about BIL--he has been living in his car... afraid to tell family that he is broke and can't afford his hotel room anymore.

Not a surprise. The writing we all saw on the wall has crystalized. And of course, timed perfectly so that any decent, habitable place is well beyond his reach. I can't tell you how often I told him after he cashed out of his house to just find a cheap mobile home and buy it!!! As long as you have a roof over your head you'll be fine.

I haven't told DH this because BIL has begged DS NOT to tell his father. But DS has given BIL his credit card for 4 nights in a hotel, and apparently the golf course where BIL works will pick up again soon, and he's owed some unemployment, etc etc none of which is sustainable.

So now, alone because I can't tell DH, I wonder what the options are. Yeah, people may say "just let him sleep under a bridge because he made his bed," but I have known all along that I would not allow BIL to sleep on the streets. My thought is, help him find a subsidized housing situation, or we buy a cheap condo/apartment and get what we can for it from him, ie. 1/3 of his wages. At least it's a quasi-investment for us if we do that.

This is all a brain dump because DS just had this convo with me, and I haven't been able to talk to anyone else about it. Sorry to have gotten off-track, but bae's lucky find for his dad is what I'm hoping for BIL (and for DH and I). One thing I haven't mentioned that DD and DSIL own a two-family and are looking to buy a single family and keep the two-family, so that is an option for sometime down the line.

JaneV2.0
5-2-22, 3:45pm
Wow. Best wishes for your dad, bae!

...

So now, alone because I can't tell DH, I wonder what the options are. Yeah, people may say "just let him sleep under a bridge because he made his bed," but I have known all along that I would not allow BIL to sleep on the streets. My thought is, help him find a subsidized housing situation, or we buy a cheap condo/apartment and get what we can for it from him, ie. 1/3 of his wages. At least it's a quasi-investment for us if we do that.

This is all a brain dump because DS just had this convo with me, and I haven't been able to talk to anyone else about it. Sorry to have gotten off-track, but bae's lucky find for his dad is what I'm hoping for BIL (and for DH and I). One thing I haven't mentioned that DD and DSIL own a two-family and are looking to buy a single family and keep the two-family, so that is an option for sometime down the line.

I would include mobile home parks if their space rent is reasonable, also. But as much as my impulse would be to mumble "You made your bed...," I can see why that isn't really an option. Human relations are messy....

Tybee
5-2-22, 4:03pm
I am going to get to work thinking about what I would do in your situation, and what I would do if I were in BIL's situation, and will weigh in later. Just wanted to say how sorry I am, and how good you are to value your family and your family relationships so dearly. And I hope you get some good ideas as to how to deal with this and be helpful to him as well.

bae
5-2-22, 4:36pm
I am going to get to work thinking about what I would do in your situation, and what I would do if I were in BIL's situation, and will weigh in later.

It's difficult. I had a cousin, that I was very close to, who we just had the memorial ceremony for. We saw him last alive around the Christmas season.

He was a talented musician, actor, and teacher. He was also a lifelong alcoholic. He lived in Manhattan for decades working in theater. His mother supported him continually until she passed away - he was moderately successful, but his lifestyle burned through $$$ like crazy.

When she died, she left him about $800k. He burned through that money in about 5 years, and eventually got thrown out of his nice rent-controlled apartment in NYC for not paying them the quite minimal rent. Losing all of his belongings in the process.

Then he moved from New York to Colorado without a penny to his name, and tried to rebuild a career, and moved in with an elderly relative as a caregiver, a role he filled for 5-6 years with varying degrees of success. When that relative died, he inherited about $700k cash from her.

He burned through *that* money in ~5 years. I spent some time trying to teach him how to set the money aside and live off the earnings, but it didn't go well. At the start, brokerage houses wouldn't even take his funds, his financial history was so spotty.

Without telling any of us, starting about last June he had been thrown out of the decent house he was renting in Colorado, and again lost all of his belongings, including many priceless (and some very pricey...) family heirlooms he inherited in addition to the $700k. One small piece of pottery that vanished in the final stages was worth nearly $40k. And perhaps ~$200k of other artwork.

He was living in his car from June->December. We knew something was up when we were having trouble contacting him (as usual) for months before Christmas. We had to contact a friend in his town to find him...

Anyways, just recently, while drunk, he slipped, hit his head, and suffered an intracranial hematoma. His BAC was off-the-charts.

We tried over the decades many interventions, treatment centers, direct financial support (I probably have sent him $150k over the past years), and months of in-person support and cleanup.

No joy. Alcoholism is a bitch.

iris lilies
5-2-22, 6:53pm
Catherine I’m sorry about your brother-in-law. The secret being passed around your family is not good for your family relations. I don’t think BIL deserves secret-keeping, that kind of stuff is just dumb and is poisonous. It’s just another instance of BIL inserting chaos into your lives.

He needs to get onto senior citizen housing wait list even though I’m sure it will be months or years before anything comes up for him.

I do like the idea of him renting a room from someone who is responsible for the entire house, and all he has to do is pay one money per month.

pinkytoe
5-2-22, 6:55pm
Such sad stories about lost souls.

jp1
5-2-22, 9:42pm
Catherine, add me to the list of people here who is so sorry to hear this. Such a difficult situation, probably without a lot of good options and certainly none that I can just spout off off the top of my head.

One perspective I will bring to the table is that living in the closet sucks. When I came out to my parents all those years ago I was more concerned about how my father would react than my mother. (Probably because he was a dude and in my mind straight dudes were more homophobic. In hindsight it turns out that I was wrong and that he was the one that convinced my mom that this was not a big deal.) After I came out to them and everyone else in my life one of my dealbreakers when meeting anyone new was that I wasn't going to date someone that was still in the closet with anyone who mattered to them. That would have required that I be in their closet as well and I wasn't willing to go back to that bad lifestyle.

Anyway, that wasn't my point. My point is that I told both of them at the same time so that neither had to keep a secret like that from the other. That just didn't seem like a fair ask.

I know that BIL has asked for secrecy but your DH deserves to know what is going on. Someone (your son maybe since he is physically closest?) needs to get BIL to agree to let the cat out of the bag and probably needs to be firm enough about it to make clear that if BIL won't spill the beans that he (son) will. Yes, BIL's embarrassed and ashamed and whatever. And yes, potentially he can hide this from your DH until he dies under a bridge or whatever. But then what? Your DH will now have the heartbreak of knowing that maybe he could have done something to help if only he had known. Compounded by what his reaction will be if BIL dies under a bridge and then he finds out that you knew but didn't tell him. BIL's life story is undoubtedly heartbreaking enough for your DH without adding this to the heartbreak.

Alan
5-2-22, 9:50pm
Your DH will now have the heartbreak of knowing that maybe he could have done something to help if only he had known. Compounded by what his reaction will be if BIL dies under a bridge and then he finds out that you knew but didn't tell him. BIL's life story is undoubtedly heartbreaking enough for your DH without adding this to the heartbreak.
This! A hundred times this.

catherine
5-3-22, 6:01am
This! A hundred times this.

No, this "secret" is a short-term secret--like less than a week. In fact I already set the stage, without stating specifics, telling DH that we have to come up with a short-term and long-term plan for his brother, and he agrees--he knows he's broke but just not how broke. As it happens, we were planning on going to NJ Thursday for grandson's birthday and BIL will be there, so it will be a perfect opportunity for a heart-to-heart.

I looked at Airbnb for cheaper places to live near his job and I was astounded by how expensive SHARED places are. $2800/mo!!! He can get an apartment for about $1500. He earns about $18/hr + tips. Getting him an apartment in NJ is not wise in the sense that he's already acknowledged he'll be moving out of of state after the golf season--probably VT where it's still expensive, but there are long-term options and he'd be near us. Did I mention he has chronic heart failure? It's well-managed now, but...

Thanks for the thoughts and ideas....

rosarugosa
5-3-22, 7:04am
Catherine: I too am sorry about this difficult situation. Of course you will help your BIL because neither you nor DH have it in you to ignore his plight. However, I do feel strongly that you shouldn't go so far as to take on another mortgage to buy a property in which to house him; that would seriously undermine your own financial situation. As far as it being a good investment, it also doesn't sound like you and DH are really cut out to be landlords. Can you comfortably afford another property, even without steady rental income? Will you be OK with evicting a tenant who has a legitimate hardship situation and cannot pay the rent? I certainly don't mean it as an insult, but I think you are too soft-hearted to be a landlord.

catherine
5-3-22, 7:48am
Catherine: I too am sorry about this difficult situation. Of course you will help your BIL because neither you nor DH have it in you to ignore his plight. However, I do feel strongly that you shouldn't go so far as to take on another mortgage to buy a property in which to house him; that would seriously undermine your own financial situation. As far as it being a good investment, it also doesn't sound like you and DH are really cut out to be landlords. Can you comfortably afford another property, even without steady rental income? Will you be OK with evicting a tenant who has a legitimate hardship situation and cannot pay the rent? I certainly don't mean it as an insult, but I think you are too soft-hearted to be a landlord.

Yeah, that is not the best option. I agree. Again, I'm just throwing ideas at the wall. I also considered adding a second floor to my house, which we've been thinking about anyway, but that is an expensive option, too. If we had kept the house in NJ it would be easy to just have him come stay with us because we had plenty of room, but the high property taxes in NJ made hour unaffordable for us in the long run.

I am definitely in favor of not spending a penny more than we're comfortable with from a financial solvency position, but I'm sure any good option will cost us something.

sweetana3
5-3-22, 8:13am
Perhaps the best option is to find a very small cheap place for him to sleep just where he is and pay directly for it! so he cannot use the money on anything else. At least your expenses are fixed and you can manage them more effectively. You cannot keep him from drinking or spending his money on whatever. This could help your husband know he is doing something, keep the BIL out of your constant view where his bad decision will continue to affect you all, and keep him where he seems to want to live.


ps: it does not have to be a beach house, does not have to be more than one room think tiny studio, does not have to be close to work think no commute, etc. He is probably only going to use it to drink since he cannot even live in a dry safe cheap location.

Have you or better your husband gone to Al-Anon for families and those dealing with others and their drinking? A friend went to learn how to deal with her own daughter and it was incredibly helpful. Note: her daughter went thru diversion for 2 DUI's and successfully stopped drinking. Her mother learned to step away. Now the daughter is married, working and a new mother. The program can help a lot.

rosarugosa
5-3-22, 8:50am
Is he eligible for subsidized housing, senior or otherwise? That would really be the best solution for everyone.

catherine
5-3-22, 9:00am
Is he eligible for subsidized housing, senior or otherwise? That would really be the best solution for everyone.

Yes, we will definitely work on that.

Tybee
5-3-22, 9:08am
Yes, we will definitely work on that.

I think it's great to support him as he tries to find subsidized housing. What I don't think is good is for you to immediately take on this problem. When you say, "Yeah, people may say "just let him sleep under a bridge because he made his bed," but I have known all along that I would not allow BIL to sleep on the streets. "

I think that you are thinking that you have more power here than you actually have. "I would not allow BIL to sleep on the streets"-- but it's not up to you, in the end, whether he sleeps on the streets--it is up to him, unfortunately. Step 1 states, "“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol— that our lives had become unmanageable.” Are future actions that we take making our lives more unmanageable? I think actions like buying a condo or putting a second story on your house and moving him in--these are not acknowledging the reality of our powerlessness over alcohol, and alcoholism.

That's my thoughts right now.

JaneV2.0
5-3-22, 9:32am
It dismays me how off-handedly society celebrates drinking. People lovingly document every wine tasting and umbrella drink on social media. Memes abound touting booze as the antidote to domesticity. Often, it's like watching a disaster in slow motion.

happystuff
5-3-22, 9:49am
catherine, just coming to this and wanted to say I'm sorry you and your dh are caught up again. But such is "family". You have received a lot of good advice and suggestion above. If you feel compelled to do something, I do like sweetana's suggestion about a little place that you directly make payments on - no money to bil.

Regardless of what you end up doing, you all have my prayers.

iris lilies
5-3-22, 9:53am
If supporting BIL means Catherine has to work another decade, I say that is complete bullshit.

JaneV2.0
5-3-22, 10:09am
If supporting BIL means Catherine has to work another decade, I say that is complete bullshit.

I'm definitely not a "people person" (have you noticed?) but I can't imagine being such an unapologetic parasite that you would repeatedly f**k up your life and expect everyone around you to rush forth to shower you with money and other forms of support. I'm amazed--but not surprised, I guess--at how often this happens. I suppose I should marvel at the human capacity for forgiveness and mercy.

ToomuchStuff
5-3-22, 10:36am
I would think a lot of people with paid-off houses will sell and downsize with cash. That's my personal fantasy anyway.


Unfortunately, things are not really set up to benefit people that way.
It would be nice if that could happen, as then they could use the surplus to pay living expenses (like someone to mow, etc.)

catherine
5-3-22, 10:51am
If supporting BIL means Catherine has to work another decade, I say that is complete bullshit.

I'm with you on that one, IL!!!

pinkytoe
5-3-22, 10:53am
Back in some other time, one could buy a house contingent on selling your present home. Many of us who would like to downsize no longer can so supply remains limited. As it is now, you must either pay cash or get lucky.

catherine
5-3-22, 11:01am
Have you or better your husband gone to Al-Anon for families and those dealing with others and their drinking? A friend went to learn how to deal with her own daughter and it was incredibly helpful. Note: her daughter went thru diversion for 2 DUI's and successfully stopped drinking. Her mother learned to step away. Now the daughter is married, working and a new mother. The program can help a lot.

In bae's words:


No joy. Alcoholism is a bitch.

If I ever got a tattoo, that would probably be it.

Yes, I have spent many years at Al-Anon meetings. It is great.

I am at the point where I know that I'm pretty much like the tree in the Giving Tree when the boy comes back to sit on the stump, and like the tree, I'm happy about my life and especially about the love I've been surrounded by in my life. That being said, I only have a stump left. I am cognizant of that. That's why I pushed DH out of our NJ house and into a house with low operating expenses. I am evaluating all expenditures at this point on the basis of whether or not they are "investments" in my future: for instance, we are paying ridiculous heating expenses, so I plan to invest in a much more efficient system.

BILs problems were in a not-insignificant degree due to alcohol, but more than anything, he truly lacks the thing most people have in their adult brains that tells them how to get from Point A to Point B in life. I blame my MIL for ensuring he remained a Peter Pan and never grew up, but it may be a chink in his brain software, too. Who knows. But given that it's a complex problem, it's a complex solution. We'll figure it out.


I think that you are thinking that you have more power here than you actually have. "I would not allow BIL to sleep on the streets"-- but it's not up to you, in the end, whether he sleeps on the streets--it is up to him, unfortunately. Step 1 states, "“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol— that our lives had become unmanageable.” Are future actions that we take making our lives more unmanageable? I think actions like buying a condo or putting a second story on your house and moving him in--these are not acknowledging the reality of our powerlessness over alcohol, and alcoholism.

I will keep that in mind. I think you are absolutely right that it's not my responsibility, but given the "clueless" side of his personality, I still want to help where I can, and if I can.

bae
5-3-22, 11:39am
BILs problems were in a not-insignificant degree due to alcohol, but more than anything, he truly lacks the thing most people have in their adult brains that tells them how to get from Point A to Point B in life. I blame my MIL for ensuring he remained a Peter Pan and never grew up, ....

We believe this was one of the root causes of my cousin's issues. His father died when he was in the womb, he was an only child, his mother babied him his entire life and never ever let him fail, and he never developed skills to function as an independent adult.

When he died this year, he was 59 years old.

JaneV2.0
5-3-22, 11:40am
I think you're on to something--your BIL probably has some cognitive limitations that your MIL was trying to shield him from, when he really needed extensive training in life skills.

bae
5-3-22, 11:51am
Unfortunately, things are not really set up to benefit people that way.
It would be nice if that could happen, as then they could use the surplus to pay living expenses (like someone to mow, etc.)

The current system is set up to screw over people.

There is a perfectly nice house right next door to mine. It is 1300 sq ft and is the perfect layout and location for me. My house is 3x the size, and has 3 floors.

I've owned this home for 20 years, I have a substantial amount of paper capital gains on the home that would be taxed. They haven't changed the amount of exclusion of gains on the sale of your own home in ages - the current limit is $250k of gain for a single person. I purchased the home when married, and if I were still married, or got married again the day before a sale, I'd have a $500k exclusion. However, between the taxes on the paper gain, and local real estate transfer taxes, and the current priced of homes in my neighborhood, I could not afford to simply sell the home I live in now, and move into the smaller, less valuable home immediately next door. Which seems silly.

Especially since I could decide this isn't my primary residence, treat it as an investment property, and do a 1031 exchange, and get out with only the local real estate transfer taxes....

The system is set up to benefit real estate investors, not individual homeowners.

Teacher Terry
5-4-22, 1:03pm
My middle son that’s had a alcohol/drug problem for most of his adult life has a brain injury from his birth and has never had good impulse control. Regardless he has a 84 IQ so it’s not low enough to have a guardian. He has gone up to a year being sober and holding a job. Unfortunately now he is 45 and has been homeless for the past 5 years. For many years I rescued him and/or helped but not anymore.

I have a friend who at 87 and 2 of her adult kids are similar and she has been a good role model for me to stop enabling. Her adult kids are my age and it never ends. He has refused to follow your advice and his problems are his to solve. If no one rescued him you would be surprised how he would rise to the occasion to rescue himself. Catherine you and your husband have good hearts but rescuing him is enabling him to remain a child.

iris lilies
5-5-22, 9:59am
Catherine I am projecting with the following idea and it may not be based in reality, but it does worry me about your situation, and it is this: because you’ve been The Money Machine for your family for so long, I am afraid that your kids and husband will declare “we must do something for uncle. “

And then they will look to you to fund that “something.”

Do not fall for it. Everyone who has opinion that Uncle must be supported financially gets to throw money into that support pot. EVERYONE.

jp1
5-6-22, 8:21pm
I'm glad to hear that the "secret" about BIL's situation is very much temporary.

And I tend to agree with Iris. Money is often the easiest way to solve a lot of problems. Now that I have more money than I did 10/20/30 years ago I'm much more likely to just use it to deal with whatever issue life has thrown at me. And since your family has long watched you step in with money to resolve various problems it's easy to see how they would expect you to do so "just one more time..." Do it if you feel like you need to and that it really is the only option. But I would encourage you to focus more effort on finding out what sort of senior housing assistance, etc is available to BIL. (I would also encourage you to get the rest of the family involved in that project. Just because you were always the ATM solution before (since you were the one bringing in the money) doesn't mean you have to be the one to solve things now. Anyone with the willingness to spend time with the googles can be the person to find the program that will help BIL with rent/housing.)

Tradd
5-6-22, 9:12pm
Just catching up with this thread now. Having grown up with an alcoholic father and my enabling mother, one of the best things I ever did was to move away and then eventually cut them off. Mother died last fall. I didn’t go to the funeral.

I have no patience with addicts. They made their own bed and they can deal with it. I am totally in favor of cutting your losses and walking away. If they wanted to get clean and improve their lift, they would. Instead, they drag every one around down with them.

catherine
5-7-22, 8:31am
Well, as I've stated, BIL's main problem isn't that he drinks too much. He has really cut down/eliminated much of his drinking due to CHF. His problem is his lack of life skills.

In my life, I have tried to live by the Serenity Prayer, which has helped me maintain loving relationships with alcoholics in my life without getting dragged down. But I understand that some some people, alcoholic or not-- are truly toxic, in which case, cutting them off with no contact is definitely appropriate.

ToomuchStuff
5-7-22, 9:26am
So in 2020, my late boss and a couple buddies sold the house they had built next to a national park, on a mountain, a couple miles from Ruby Ridge. They were going to put that money into another house on a lake up there. That changed when he died.
Covid hit and Idaho I guess stayed open, and a bunch of people from Washington and California started moving to town.
That $280K house they were going to buy, just sold for $750K. And I thought this market was nuts.

razz
5-7-22, 5:49pm
So in 2020, my late boss and a couple buddies sold the house they had built next to a national park, on a mountain, a couple miles from Ruby Ridge. They were going to put that money into another house on a lake up there. That changed when he died.
Covid hit and Idaho I guess stayed open, and a bunch of people from Washington and California started moving to town.
That $280K house they were going to buy, just sold for $750K. And I thought this market was nuts.
A friend shared that a nearby 100 unit one-floor condo development finished in 2020 was mostly purchased by investors who are now profitably renting these units. Seniors who had downsized larger homes and purchased one of these units are so disappointed as the rental units are not being cared for by the tenants who come and go frequently. Not a peaceful community!

happystuff
5-7-22, 6:22pm
A friend shared that a nearby 100 unit one-floor condo development finished in 2020 was mostly purchased by investors who are now profitably renting these units. Seniors who had downsized larger homes and purchased one of these units are so disappointed as the rental units are not being cared for by the tenants who come and go frequently. Not a peaceful community!

That is so sad for any of the folks that actually purchased.

iris lilies
5-7-22, 11:14pm
A friend shared that a nearby 100 unit one-floor condo development finished in 2020 was mostly purchased by investors who are now profitably renting these units. Seniors who had downsized larger homes and purchased one of these units are so disappointed as the rental units are not being cared for by the tenants who come and go frequently. Not a peaceful community!
In my de facto senior citizen condo high rise of 40 units, there are no rentals allowed at all, except for the people who owned prior to the time that rule was made in 2017.

If you think long term rentals are a problem, you should see the havoc that Airbnb rentals are causing in neighborhoods. My neighborhood succeeded in getting one newly renovated building around the corner for me to cut way way down on the number of units they were renting via Air bnb.

The essential problem is that people rent an Airbnb for Thursday night Friday night and Saturday night for big parties. The parties get loud and out of control, drinking druggin, gun play takes place. It is a big big mess. It has Been quiet in my neighborhood since that building was shut down, but they’re having enormous problems in downtown St. Louis lofts.

razz
5-8-22, 7:49am
The Air b'n'b s are a huge problem everywhere, it seems. It was a great idea but quickly got out of hand. Your condo complex got a handle on it in time.

pinkytoe
5-8-22, 10:28am
I was surprised to see that some of the 55+ Sun City houses are now rentals.

Tradd
5-8-22, 11:08am
A friend shared that a nearby 100 unit one-floor condo development finished in 2020 was mostly purchased by investors who are now profitably renting these units. Seniors who had downsized larger homes and purchased one of these units are so disappointed as the rental units are not being cared for by the tenants who come and go frequently. Not a peaceful community!

There are a lot of rentals in my condo complex (two story buildings, part townhouse and part 1/2 BR units). A lot of us seem to be longer term renters. 14 years for me. 4 years for a neighbor. It’s pretty quiet. Mix of singles and couples, plus some families with smaller kids.

Teacher Terry
5-8-22, 12:56pm
You can rent a condo in our building but Airbnb is not allowed.