View Full Version : What makes you feel,disrespected?
iris lilies
4-1-22, 1:43pm
I’ve been chewing on something for a while in my hobby groups. It is about what annoys me and what doesn’t annoy me, and how that differs from other people. I have an ironclad ego (no surprise here, right?) and can put up with about anything people say to me. Now, some people would say “Iris, the reason you can put up with anything people say is because people are generally very nice to you and possibly undeservedly so!” and I will agree to some extent.
But anyway. We are having yet another conflict in yet another plant society. That let me to truly analyze without the help of a therapist ha ha, what it really boils down to for me. And it is this: the thing that makes me feel disrespected is when people waste my time.
That is in direct conflict with someone else in my group who has what I consider to be an extremely fragile ego and feels “hurt and attacked and disrespected “when someone questions her or challenges her on a fact.
Me, See, I am not bothered by that at all in fact I welcome being questioned. All these flower shows and plant societies have rules and regs we have to follow, and I like it when people say “hey is that really true? Is that in the rulebook? “ Because I don’t see that is challenging my authority, I see it as them wanting to act on actual fact and not my personal interpretation of it.
The thing that I was pissed about in one organization and I’m still kind of pissed about with another organization is that they waste my time by not making the rules clear. If I put in a good faith effort to read the rules carefully, and their process of updating and clarifying is not clear, I waste time trying to figure out ruling. I wasted a lot of time in the past 18 months on a set of issues and it’s now been resolved, thank you God. There is another issue with national garden club that required many email communications among five people to essentially arrive at Step A where we started. I have tolerance for working through processes to identify the facts. I have tolerance for ambiguity. I do not have tolerance for those who speak with authority saying the sky is blue. If I’m supposed to know the sky is blue you need to make that clear from the beginning OR ELSE Tell me “hey we need to figure that out and we will get back to you. “ Two people are still mad about THAT interaction, haha but that transgression isn’t the one bothering me most.
Yep, people who are always late and can’t be bothered to let you know. In the age of cell phones, there is no freaking reason to be late without notifying the people you’re meeting with. And if you’re consistently late, I don’t do stuff with you anymore.
I'm with you on the puntuality thing. That, to me, is a blatant sign of disrespect. And it's egoism because those people tend feel that the world should spin on their timetable.
I feel disrespected if I'm dismissed, and I sometimes get the sense that I'm dismissed because of ageism+sexism which is a double whammy in our society-Like my doctor. She is actually not a doctor, but an NP. She loves my husband. Gives him anything he wants. Ultrasounds, referrals to audiologists, allergists, CT scans, blood tests, you name it.
But when I try to express ONE concern I have about my health, she's deaf. I never go to the doctor and I've spared Medicare thousands of dollars so far, but when I tried to explain to her my concern which is valid and backed by clinical research, she ignored me. My blood test--most people get at least a basic blood panel, but I get two lines on my blood test: my LDL and my HDL. I do feel disrespected by her.
iris lilies
4-1-22, 2:30pm
I'm with you on the puntuality thing. That, to me, is a blatant sign of disrespect. And it's egoism because those people tend feel that the world should spin on their timetable.
I feel disrespected if I'm dismissed, and I sometimes get the sense that I'm dismissed because of ageism+sexism which is a double whammy in our society-Like my doctor. She is actually not a doctor, but an NP. She loves my husband. Gives him anything he wants. Ultrasounds, referrals to audiologists, allergists, CT scans, blood tests, you name it.
But when I try to express ONE concern I have about my health, she's deaf. I never go to the doctor and I've spared Medicare thousands of dollars so far, but when I tried to explain to her my concern which is valid and backed by clinical research, she ignored me. My blood test--most people get at least a basic blood panel, but I get two lines on my blood test: my LDL and my HDL. I do feel disrespected by her.
first thing: you know that seems very unrealistic. I thought it was standard operating procedure for all adults to get a CBC which has gosh I don’t know a lot of lines, maybe 25? DH goes to his physician regularly for those same blood tests. I started going to the doctor a few years ago and she plunged in with the standard CBC panel. And continues with them.
I would probably view that interaction as “a waste of my time p” and be annoyed because of that, but it’s really more serious because she is dismissing your educated knowledge that is granted layman level, but it seems unprofessional. I’m not saying the test you you asked for is within the range of reasonable medical test, I don’t know, but as I said above more then cholesterol testing seems to be in order.
And then speaking of physician tests, I had a panel of skin allergy tests that I asked for after consultation and I paid for (not expensive) that revealed not much of anything I guess. Although the doctor wasn’t there it was a tech who gave it so I’m not sure. I guess I’ll talk to my doctor later about it because she mentioned in an email that she thinks I could benefit from some medication but we’ll see. My personal theory is that I’m allergic to plants growing in greenhouses and her test showed ragweed and grass. Which is not the thing I’m allergic to.
I'm with you on the puntuality thing. That, to me, is a blatant sign of disrespect. And it's egoism because those people tend feel that the world should spin on their timetable.
I feel disrespected if I'm dismissed, and I sometimes get the sense that I'm dismissed because of ageism+sexism which is a double whammy in our society-Like my doctor. She is actually not a doctor, but an NP. She loves my husband. Gives him anything he wants. Ultrasounds, referrals to audiologists, allergists, CT scans, blood tests, you name it.
But when I try to express ONE concern I have about my health, she's deaf. I never go to the doctor and I've spared Medicare thousands of dollars so far, but when I tried to explain to her my concern which is valid and backed by clinical research, she ignored me. My blood test--most people get at least a basic blood panel, but I get two lines on my blood test: my LDL and my HDL. I do feel disrespected by her.
Slightly off topic, but get a new doctor or NP, a new practice. That's ridiculous. And yes, I have noticed it with respect to medical care my husband gets and medical care I get. I think it harkens back to doctors thinking men's lives were more valuable because they were the breadwinners. Which isn't even true anymore.
first thing: you know that seems very unrealistic. I thought it was standard operating procedure for all adults to get a CBC which has gosh I don’t know a lot of lines, maybe 25? DH goes to his physician regularly for those same blood tests. I started going to the doctor a few years ago and she plunged in with the standard CBC panel. And continues with them.
I know--I looked it up in Medicare and they cover blood tests that your doctor considers "medically necessary" which of course is open to interpretation. So, when I raised this issue, which I consider to be a potential cardiac issue, she followed the Medicare guidelines to the letter:
EXAMPLES OF COVERED BLOOD TESTS
Here are some of the conditions that are commonly screened through blood tests and how often you can have them done with Medicare coverage:
Diabetes: once a year, or up to twice per year if you are higher risk (the A1C test will need to be repeated after 3 months)
Heart disease: cholesterol, lipids, and triglycerides screening once every 5 years
HIV: once a year based on risk
Hepatitis (B and C): once a year depending on risk
Colorectal cancer: once a year
Prostate cancer Prostate specific antigen [PSA] test): once a year
Sexually transmitted diseases: once a year
But just because I'm healthy and can walk around asymptomatic for any disease all day long, I don't understand why I can't just get a CBC. I have looked into just going to a LabCorp and paying myself.
But I think I'll first take Tybee's advice and just to go another doctor.
I'm with you on the wasting my time thing. When I was working that was a big pain. But I think what makes me feel disrespected over all boils down to one thing, what I call "being blown off." or being made to feel invisible.
That can take many forms:
Not getting an answer to a question, being ghosted instead of answered. Then saying they don't recall my asking.
Not being listened to. (ie, my voice/opinion isn't valued)
Having my idea co-opted.
Being interrupted repeatedly, even in polite conversation.
Someone I'm having a conversation with always having to "top" me, BTDT only worse, better, etc.
iris lilies
4-1-22, 3:31pm
I'm with you on the wasting my time thing. When I was working that was a big pain. But I think what makes me feel disrespected over all boils down to one thing, what I call "being blown off." or being made to feel invisible.
That can take many forms:
Not getting an answer to a question, being ghosted instead of answered. Then saying they don't recall my asking.
Not being listened to. (ie, my voice/opinion isn't valued)
Having my idea co-opted.
Being interrupted repeatedly, even in polite conversation.
Someone I'm having a conversation with always having to "top" me, BTDT only worse, better, etc.
I would interpret a couple of these as “wasting my time” as with the one where you don’t get an answer due to ghosting, ignoring, not listening, not caring to answer you.
As for the “topping” thing: we have a mutual friend who drives some people crazy. One of my friends said to me about her “don’t you notice how she always has to top you and whatever you say? Whatever you’ve said, she has the same experience only more so and different? “
To me that isn’t topping that is just someone who is desperate to talk at me and uses anything I say as a jumping off point. Our mutual friend is not a pathological talker though, she’s just a garden variety talker. I’ve known people in life who are pathological talkers and that is a really scary thing.
One poor woman in our dog club was pathological her need to talk continuously. Another time in our wide circle of neighborhood friends we had three talkers who I secretly wanted to get into a room with all three together and see who came out on top.
Funny but I attended an orientation today for a new garden group venture and the leader said the last one broke up due to opposing views on "how to garden." Huh??
Anyway, I feel disrespected as Catherine said when I feel I am being dismissed. I find doctor visits always fall into that realm and I go away thinking what do I do now for my issue? I have one coming up and am pretty certain based on past experiences that I will be offered a pill or a test rather than a discussion or an actual physical exam. I don't want to just treat symptoms; I want to know what is causing them. There have been quite a few articles in the NYTimes lately about how female and minority patients are treated differently in the medical community.
ApatheticNoMore
4-1-22, 4:47pm
I always just thought that was just American medicine, here is your 10 minute appointment ...
I feel disrespected when someone uses a condescending tone, or assumes I don't know what I'm talking about. When I worked it was when I made a point, and then a man repeated my point (and the other men said "good point!" to him. I hate having my time wasted too.
Not having my bodily integrity respected including being made to wear a mask.
Being lied to.
ApatheticNoMore
4-1-22, 6:15pm
Not having MY bodily integrity respected by people being allowed to go without a mask thus potentially injecting viruses from their nasal passages and mouths into MY body.
I recommend reading Marcus Aurelius, and not worrying much about "disrespect".
I think a lot of these experiences involve having one's feelings invalidated. Here is a good piece on the psychology of invalidation:
https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-you-and-others-invalidate-your-emotional-experience
Not having MY bodily integrity respected by people being allowed to go without a mask thus potentially injecting viruses from their nasal passages and mouths into MY body.
One way masking protects you ... if N95 or KN95 masks work. And if masks don't work why bother?
Look at pictures from covid wards where the medical staff around covid patients all day long wear masks but the patients don't. It's not rocket science!
I guess you also don't have a lot of faith in the vaccines you got.
Our protocol for years pre-covid was to put an N95 mask on patients in the field if they had or we suspected acute infectious respiratory symptoms who could tolerate the mask. In addition to the ones we were wearing. It's been in the handbook for ages...
But what do people who do this stuff for a living actually know?
Our protocol for years pre-covid was to put an N95 mask on patients in the field if they had or we suspected acute infectious respiratory symptoms who could tolerate the mask. In addition to the ones we were wearing. It's been in the handbook for ages...
But what do people who do this stuff for a living actually know?
Watch the news. It's a visual medium. There has been wall to wall coverage of the pandemic since it began with lots of filming in hospitals. Your way is not the only way, or even the predominant way.
And driving an ambulance is not the same as working in the covid ward at the hospital.
See, you're not even observing the correct things, interpreting them in context, or drawing reasonable conclusions. Perhaps you lack the schema to do so, or perhaps you are being deliberately silly.
Anyways, for the rest of y'all's viewing pleasure:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL2WLQ44fdk
iris lilies
4-1-22, 8:02pm
Bae your image in not showing up for me.Not that I care, if it about masks.
Bae your image in not showing up for me.Not that I care, if it about masks.
It's just a link to a video, not about masks :-) :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL2WLQ44fdk
gimmethesimplelife
4-1-22, 10:27pm
About being punctual - I am stickler for this - this is an Austrian thing in the sense that if the Ubahn is supposed to arrive at the station for Stephansdom in Vienna at 5:23 PM it WILL be there at 5:23 PM. You could set a watch by.this. Interesting that SO is from another culture where time is viewed differently - at least personal time. I have learned to chill a little about being a few minutes late. I have even learned to give generous estimates of time - meaning if I can do something quickly in 5 minutes on time off I'll quote 10. This last was not easy to learn! Rob
iris lilies
4-1-22, 10:42pm
About being punctual - I am stickler for this - this is an Austrian thing in the sense that if the Ubahn is supposed to arrive at the station for Stephansdom in Vienna at 5:23 PM it WILL be there at 5:23 PM. You could set a watch by.this. Interesting that SO is from another culture where time is viewed differently - at least personal time. I have learned to chill a little about being a few minutes late. I have even learned to give generous estimates of time - meaning if I can do something quickly in 5 minutes on time off I'll quote 10. This last was not easy to learn! Rob
When I lived in Las Cruces with its 50% Hispanic population it was called “mañana time. “
gimmethesimplelife
4-1-22, 10:48pm
When I lived in Las Cruces with its 50% Hispanic population it was called “mañana time. “
Yes indeed. Same in Nogales - both sides of the border. Rob
Watch the news. It's a visual medium. There has been wall to wall coverage of the pandemic since it began with lots of filming in hospitals. Your way is not the only way, or even the predominant way.
And driving an ambulance is not the same as working in the covid ward at the hospital.
I will bet you folding money that bae doesn't just " drive an ambulance". I am 99.99999% sure that he is also a firefighter. Let's see you climb a tiller rig with a 105 foot tall ladder into the air with over 85 pounds of gear ( and horror of horrors a MASK) along with 5 inch hose with a flow rate of 1500 GPM. My husband has over 42 years as a EMT/firefighter and 22 years of that as a Lieutenant, 20 years as HAZMAT, acting Battalion Chief, 1 year acting Fire Marshall and currently PIO. I have a really good handle on what bae does.
And dealing with Covid patients is also part of the job
What I find disrespectful? People who make fun/dismissive of other people's disabilities ( looking right at you Jeppy)
Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : USEF ( formerly AHSA) requires an EMT/EMS on the show grounds the entire time the show is in session, including the day before the show ( Rule GR-847)
iris lilies
4-1-22, 11:25pm
Well I will admit as the author of this thread that I don’t put a lot of cotton into “disrespected “and feeling that way, but I was attempting to speak in the language of other humans.
Mainly I’m talking about what strongly annoys me. For me it’s feeling annoyed, for many others it is feeling disrespected,. Potato Patoto
Catherine: There is no way I would put up with that treatment from my healthcare providers. Thankfully, I have a wonderful PCP who also sees my DH, Mom & Sis. The name of the practice used to be a Women's Health Center, although it has since changed to the North Shore Physician's Group name, and they did always treat men too, but I've never felt they were dismissive of me as a woman. My PCP orders a CBC for us every year.
I will bet you folding money that bae doesn't just " drive an ambulance". I am 99.99999% sure that he is also a firefighter. Let's see you climb a tiller rig with a 105 foot tall ladder into the air with over 85 pounds of gear ( and horror of horrors a MASK) along with 5 inch hose with a flow rate of 1500 GPM. My husband has over 42 years as a EMT/firefighter and 22 years of that as a Lieutenant, 20 years as HAZMAT, acting Battalion Chief, 1 year acting Fire Marshall and currently PIO. I have a really good handle on what bae does.
And dealing with Covid patients is also part of the job
What I find disrespectful? People who make fun/dismissive of other people's disabilities ( looking right at you Jeppy)
Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : USEF ( formerly AHSA) requires an EMT/EMS on the show grounds the entire time the show is in session, including the day before the show ( Rule GR-847)
Still reading my posts I see. Life's so boring without me.
And you are still sticking extra spaces all over the place. That falls in the annoyed not disrespected category.
You are all concerned about your disability, but not the disabilities of others who cannot wear masks. Hypocrite.
Getting back to the original topic, I can't say I've spent a lot of mental energy being concerned about respect or lack thereof, at least not in those terms. Back in my corporate life, I believe that as a small, quiet female, I sometimes got less consideration than was warranted. It might sound arrogant, but I've been in meetings where a couple of men were going on like strutting roosters, and I was thinking "I know more about this topic than either one of them," but I could barely get a word in edgewise. I always just figured it was their loss, lol. But occasionally, I would feel almost ethically required to push myself to speak up more, because it would be a loss to the organization to let the roosters make critical decisions without the relevant input I could contribute.
Just before I retired, there were a couple of situations where it seemed to be assumed that I hadn't take some important action, when in fact I had. That stung a little bit and helped me make the decision to retire when I did. I guess I felt a little bit disrespected that the default assumption was that I hadn't taken the actions, rather than the reverse.
Getting back to the original topic, I can't say I've spent a lot of mental energy being concerned about respect or lack thereof, at least not in those terms. Back in my corporate life, I believe that as a small, quiet female, I sometimes got less consideration than was warranted. It might sound arrogant, but I've been in meetings where a couple of men were going on like strutting roosters, and I was thinking "I know more about this topic than either one of them," but I could barely get a word in edgewise. I always just figured it was their loss, lol. But occasionally, I would feel almost ethically required to push myself to speak up more, because it would be a loss to the organization to let the roosters make critical decisions without the relevant input I could contribute.
Just before I retired, there were a couple of situations where it seemed to be assumed that I hadn't take some important action, when in fact I had. That stung a little bit and helped me make the decision to retire when I did. I guess I felt a little bit disrespected that the default assumption was that I hadn't taken the actions, rather than the reverse.
I remember Shirley Chisholm saying "“I have certainly met much more discrimination in terms of being a woman than being black." So, I'll be more likely to take her advice in this area over that of Marcus Aurelius. I think women lost more than they gained when schools went co-ed. With no "roosters" around, women were able to easily gain positions of leadership and practice them without having to fight to get to first base.
ApatheticNoMore
4-2-22, 11:46am
I remember Shirley Chisholm saying "“I have certainly met much more discrimination in terms of being a woman than being black." So, I'll be more likely to take her advice in this area over that of Marcus Aurelius.
:laff:
I knew a black woman who would bring up: "remember blacks gained the right to vote before women" to make that point (true on paper maybe less true in practice as to the right to vote). Also we had a black president and we have not had a woman president. Not that I can really claim to know which is worse. When they study to see who gets the most discrimination in this society it's black women :\.
Back in my corporate life, I believe that as a small, quiet female, I sometimes got less consideration than was warranted. It might sound arrogant, but I've been in meetings where a couple of men were going on like strutting roosters, and I was thinking "I know more about this topic than either one of them," but I could barely get a word in edgewise.
Yea guys can sure project a lot of confidence, sometimes I assumed these confident guys were all better at work then me, of course a few of them probably were and are, but then I had positions where I had to dig into these confident guys work. LOL. What a disaster it actually was. :laff:
I recommend reading Marcus Aurelius, and not worrying much about "disrespect".
I read the Meditations in high school, and it is one of a very few books I’ve read that I could credit with changing my life. It was the gateway into Epictetus, Seneca and Musonius Rufus. Disrespect ceases to be much of an issue when you refuse to think of yourself as someone else’s victim. “Our souls are dyed with the color of our thoughts”.
iris lilies
4-2-22, 12:32pm
I read the Meditations in high school, and it is one of a very few books I’ve read that I could credit with changing my life. It was the gateway into Epictetus, Seneca and Musonius Rufus. Disrespect ceases to be much of an issue when you refuse to think of yourself as someone else’s victim. “Our souls are dyed with the color of our thoughts”.
OK this will save me reading all of those important old Greek guys, just tell me: am I OK to be annoyed that people are wasting my time? Is that philosophically an understandable felling coming from the thought of time wasting?
Am I a “victim” by engaging with them at all? This assumes they have something I want such as information. It also assumes I offer something they want, usually information.
OK this will save me reading all of those important old Greek guys, just tell me: am I OK to be annoyed that people are wasting my time? Is that philosophically an understandable felling coming from the thought of time wasting?
Am I a “victim” by engaging with them at all? This assumes they have something I want such as information. It also assumes I offer something they want, usually information.
“Reject your sense of injury, and the injury itself disappears.”
There are practical problems to be solved in our daily lives, but we need not consider the petty insults offered by damaged or incomplete spirits. I believe thinking of yourself as a victim is self-destructive even if you are a victim.
I read the Meditations in high school, and it is one of a very few books I’ve read that I could credit with changing my life. It was the gateway into Epictetus, Seneca and Musonius Rufus. Disrespect ceases to be much of an issue when you refuse to think of yourself as someone else’s victim. “Our souls are dyed with the color of our thoughts”.
I'm a big fan of the Stoics, and have read several books and interpretations of books. I also count James Allen's book, As a Man Thinketh, as one of the most important books I've read. I believe in the power of thought. I don't think of myself as a victim. I believe that IL, who I know does not see herself as a victim, started this thread simply as a vent, not a "poor me" platform.
Enough about victimhood. Would you call a tendency to reduce people's real experiences to nothing but "victim mentality" gaslighting?
iris lilies
4-2-22, 1:36pm
I'm a big fan of the Stoics, and have read several books and interpretations of books. I also count James Allen's book, As a Man Thinketh, as one of the most important books I've read. I believe in the power of thought. I don't think of myself as a victim. I believe that IL, who I know does not see herself as a victim, started this thread simply as a vent, not a "poor me" platform.
Enough about victimhood. Would you call a tendency to reduce people's real experiences to nothing but "victim mentality" gaslighting?
But I do think that victim mentality plays into this with me. It is a piece of it.
As I said in the opening post I am chewing on something. When I chew on things I often work through them mentally and come out on the other side as a better person and with a more Zen outlook.
cCatherine you comments are very useful! As are Ldahl’s! These help me consider a life issue in a sort of Cliff Notes to the stoics that save me having to read them. Even tho reading them would be good for me. :~)
But I do think that victim mentality plays into this with me. It is a piece of it.
As I said in the opening post I am chewing on something. When I chew on things I often work through them mentally and come out on the other side as a better person and with a more Zen outlook.
cCatherine you comments are very useful! As are Ldahl’s! These help me consider a life issue in a sort of Cliff Notes to the stoics that save me having to read them. Even tho reading them would be good for me. :~)
If you don’t want to read the Stoics from Zeno of Citium on up, I recommend “The Practical Stoic” podcast. You get some of the major concepts in easy to digest ten minute bites. Or if you want just one book on the practical applications, try William Irvine’s “The Art of Stoic Joy”.
try William Irvine’s “The Art of Stoic Joy”.
Excellent book.
Teacher Terry
4-2-22, 4:38pm
I don’t like people wasting my time either. Also in volunteering people can be very bossy and demanding. Not putting up with that crap for free. It’s why I quit volunteering. I have a excellent woman doctor that’s 10 years younger than me. She really listens and spends time with me. Catherine you need a new doctor.
Andrew Weill's website on integrative medicine recommends this doctor:
Andréa Fossati, MDInternal MedicinePhysician (MD)
South Burlington, VT
United States
Andrew Weill's website on integrative medicine recommends this doctor:
Andréa Fossati, MDInternal MedicinePhysician (MD)
South Burlington, VT
United States
Hmm... I might give her call! I was looking for a new doctor at a health center slightly closer to home, but I can get to her location using almost all highway so Google Maps says it's only 35 minutes. Thank you! She looks like the type of doctor I would really appreciate!
iris lilies
4-3-22, 10:25am
Catherine , can’t you make an appointment with an actual physician in the practice you visit and discuss your issue with an MD physician? You’re seeing a nurse practitioner, right? Try someone new within the practice?
I just don’t get no complete blood panel for you. I can’t grok that. Of course, I know less than zero about standard medical practice.
And speaking of physicians, late last night my physician sent me an email “saying hey Iris how are you doing? When are you Coming in for that tetanus shot? The weather is turning lovely in Hermann.”
So that was nice and unexpected. But this is the sort of personal practice she wants to achieve, which is direct patient care and not running everything through insurance.
IL, here on the Islands, there isn't much to pick from. There is one doctor who is no longer accepting new patients and 3 FNPs--one is the NP I'm not happy with. One is only accepting pediatric patients. The other looks like he could be my grandson.
So, I was looking off the islands and there were a couple of choices in one of my practice's affiliated medical centers, but frankly, 2-3 of them specialize in "gender-affirming"--I'm glad that community has HCPs who can treat them with understanding but I don't need gender affirmation--I'm looking for a different focus.
I like Tybee's choice because she's an MD, yet with a specialty in integrative medicine, which is appealing to me--and she has a subspecialty in cardiology so maybe she'll understand my issue. So I really think that on Monday I'll see if she is accepting new patients. It appears I'm going to have to go off the Island no matter what.
If I find out someone has lied to me, I feel disrespected because they think they can "play" me. If possible, I cut them out of my life.
I agree with others about wasting my time. I will wait 15 minutes if I don't receive any communication or update (wasn't that the magic number in college to wait on a professor?).
ToomuchStuff
4-4-22, 11:49pm
Really going to have to go with wasting my time.
A whole lot of junk is going on right now. Making me wonder how much of my time has been wasted.
boss mare
4-22-22, 11:33pm
Still reading my posts I see. Life's so boring without me.
And you are still sticking extra spaces all over the place. That falls in the annoyed not disrespected category.
You are all concerned about your disability, but not the disabilities of others who cannot wear masks. Hypocrite.
I check in occasionally so see you get your panties in a knot It very amusing to wind you up ... You are like a dog chasing their tail
Yes, there are people who can have issues wearing a mask... You, however are not one of them ... With a little research, your dermatitis can easily be resolved ... BTDT
As far as my dyslexia... That's not for you to judge. Are you licensed to diagnose my issues? No, you are not . So Sit Down
The Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : Nearly all horse show organizations are required to have a concession stand at the show ( AQHA, APHA, ApHC, PtHA, USEF, 4-H, FFA, POA, etc) and can be fined if not in compliance
I check in occasionally so see you get your panties in a knot It very amusing to wind you up ... You are like a dog chasing their tail
Yes, there are people who can have issues wearing a mask... You, however are not one of them ... With a little research, your dermatitis can easily be resolved ... BTDT
As far as my dyslexia... That's not for you to judge. Are you licensed to diagnose my issues? No, you are not . So Sit Down
The Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : Nearly all horse show organizations are required to have a concession stand at the show ( AQHA, APHA, ApHC, PtHA, USEF, 4-H, FFA, POA, etc) and can be fined if not in compliance
"It very amusing" - no, this poor grammar is not amusing.
A dog singular would not chase "their' tail.
I am not to judge your medical issues but you can judge mine? Thank God we have people like Judge Mizelle who can recognize medical issues with mask wearing.
Extra space after not, incorrect capitalization and no period in the sentence after.
Extra space before semicolon, no period at the end of that sentence either.
happystuff
4-23-22, 10:55am
The Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : Nearly all horse show organizations are required to have a concession stand at the show ( AQHA, APHA, ApHC, PtHA, USEF, 4-H, FFA, POA, etc) and can be fined if not in compliance
Now this is an interesting fun fact. The only horse shows I have seen the last couple of years have been at our county fair so, of course, there are concession stands.
I guess this is being snarky, but I feel a little disrespected when posters take pot shots at each other. This is my happy place to go to get and give support. But yeah, I should not take the unpleasantness of others to heart.
gimmethesimplelife
4-23-22, 4:33pm
Qualified Immunity. Rob
iris lilies
4-23-22, 4:48pm
Qualified Immunity. Rob
I don’t know what that means.
iris lilies
4-23-22, 4:50pm
The Fun Horse Fact Of The Day : Nearly all horse show organizations are required to have a concession stand at the show ( AQHA, APHA, ApHC, PtHA, USEF, 4-H, FFA, POA, etc) and can be fined if not in compliance
hunh, so why is that? Are they always supposed to be raising money for their parent organization?
gimmethesimplelife
4-23-22, 4:55pm
I don’t know what that means.What Law Enforcement uses flee responsibility for murder - and other less horrific crimes. Once you understand how hostile Qualified Immunity is towards the average person, perhaps you'd understand why I consider the concept extremely disrespectful - at a Putin level (but before 2/24 to be fair). Rob
I guess this is being snarky, but I feel a little disrespected when posters take pot shots at each other. This is my happy place to go to get and give support. But yeah, I should not take the unpleasantness of others to heart.
That’s certainly not snarky. And as someone who I am sure you are referencing I apologize. Things have definitely got more ‘tense’ here as time has gone by and I’m absolutely a part of that. I try to be a better person but our country and the very real lives of people, are on the line. So I fail. Repeatedly. But I still care for and grieve every needless death from covid and pray that none of my loved ones become part of those statistics. And then I get angry. Wash rinse repeat.
But I still care for and grieve every needless death from covid and pray that none of my loved ones become part of those statistics. And then I get angry.
You are right. There is so much to grieve these days. I think sometimes I use a head in the sand, ignore things and they will go away approach, and that is not any better. I get what you are saying, and thank you for reminding me of the stakes and of what you are fighting for. Covid destroyed my parents over the past couple of years, the isolation, being shut in a room like prisoners, being allowed no visitors. I am so so sorry that people are still getting sick and there is not more being done or maybe nothing more can be done, which is worse. So please accept my apology, too.
That’s certainly not snarky. And as someone who I am sure you are referencing I apologize. Things have definitely got more ‘tense’ here as time has gone by and I’m absolutely a part of that. I try to be a better person but our country and the very real lives of people, are on the line. So I fail. Repeatedly. But I still care for and grieve every needless death from covid and pray that none of my loved ones become part of those statistics. And then I get angry. Wash rinse repeat.
In the under age 65 age group more people die from auto accidents than covid. Do you also pray that none of your loved ones dies in a car crash? Do you get angry about accidents and the needless deaths caused by reckless driving? Do you think we should have driving lockdowns where people can only use other modes of transportation?
It seems if you watched less media coverage of covid you would put it in perspective like most people do.
iris lilies
4-24-22, 7:50am
You are right. There is so much to grieve these days. I think sometimes I use a head in the sand, ignore things and they will go away approach, and that is not any better. I get what you are saying, and thank you for reminding me of the stakes and of what you are fighting for. Covid destroyed my parents over the past couple of years, the isolation, being shut in a room like prisoners, being allowed no visitors. I am so so sorry that people are still getting sick and there is not more being done or maybe nothing more can be done, which is worse. So please accept my apology, too.
“Head in the sand, ignore” approach to the big things outside of our control seems like a rational approach to me.
We are here to live our lives in as rich a way as possible. If sniping on the internetz doesn't meet that goal, I just call you a reasonable person!
And for the record, “nothing more can be done” is pretty much my opinion about Covid, and why many think the gubment in all of its manifestations can save us from Covid is beyond my understanding.
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 7:59am
Insane worplace expectations.
ToomuchStuff
4-24-22, 10:04am
Insane worplace expectations.
Warplace (Russia verses Ukraine) or workplace, LOL?
From someone who has rarely known sane ones.
iris lilies
4-24-22, 10:14am
What Law Enforcement uses flee responsibility for murder - and other less horrific crimes. Once you understand how hostile Qualified Immunity is towards the average person, perhaps you'd understand why I consider the concept extremely disrespectful - at a Putin level (but before 2/24 to be fair). Rob
So, Rob learned a new concept and we will be treated to multiple posts about it as his new obsession.
Well, I can’t say that I am immune to a bit of obsessiveness myself in new ideas, so carry on Rob with Qualified Immunity!
ToomuchStuff
4-24-22, 10:20am
So, Rob learned a new concept and we will be treated to multiple posts about it as his new obsession.
Well, I can’t say that I am immune to a bit of obsessiveness myself in new ideas, so carry on Rob with Qualified Immunity!
Actually, it very much isn't a new concept.
iris lilies
4-24-22, 10:31am
Actually, it very much isn't a new concept.
But it is new to Rob. And new to me!
It is a legal concept I hadn’t heard about in that exact phrase.
I am more worried about - no liability for pharma and qualified immunity for public health officials approving and pushing their products - than I am about qualified immunity for police officers.
What Law Enforcement uses flee responsibility for murder - and other less horrific crimes.
I don't think you fully understand the concept of Qualified Immunity. It only covers civil liability in much the same way that the Good Samaritan doctrine protects any bystander attempting to help an injured person. Qualified Immunity is not a defense against any crime committed by Law Enforcement Personnel, nor does it protect against civil liability if a crime is committed.
Once you understand how hostile Qualified Immunity is towards the average person, perhaps you'd understand why I consider the concept extremely disrespectful
I think the only real protection it provides is against those who may try to cash in for any perceived hurtful reaction to law enforcement or any other government agent.
In the absence of Qualified Immunity I find it hard to imagine any sane person willing to risk everything they and their families own or ever hope to own in order to perform a public service function.
hunh, so why is that? Are they always supposed to be raising money for their parent organization?
No. 99.9999% of horse show venues are held at fairgrounds that have their own concession stands that are contracted out.
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 4:12pm
No. I've known about qualified immunity for some time. It is not new to me. Rob
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 4:15pm
I don't think you fully understand the concept of Qualified Immunity. It only covers civil liability in much the same way that the Good Samaritan doctrine protects any bystander attempting to help an injured person. Qualified Immunity is not a defense against any crime committed by Law Enforcement Personnel, nor does it protect against civil liability if a crime is committed.
I think the only real protection it provides is against those who may try to cash in for any perceived hurtful reaction to law enforcement or any other government agent.
In the absence of Qualified Immunity I find it hard to imagine any sane person willing to risk everything they and their families own or ever hope to own in order to perform a public service function.
I beg to differ. Last year New Mexico Governor Grisham raised the Gold standard by signing a bill eliminating qualifed immunity in New Mexico. The sky has not fallen - ask IL as she has been in New Mexico very recently. Rob
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 4:17pm
But it is new to Rob. And new to me!
It is a legal concept I hadn’t heard about in that exact phrase.
WOW! And yet you very strongly support law enforcement. Such is your right but wow! Rob
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 4:25pm
Warplace (Russia verses Ukraine) or workplace, LOL?
From someone who has rarely known sane ones.Typo. My bad. Should have been workplace. Rob
I beg to differ. Last year New Mexico Governor Grisham raised the Gold standard by signing a bill eliminating qualifed immunity in New Mexico.
Yes, I'm aware of that bit of political theater, Colorado is another state which successfully eliminated qualified immunity. There were perhaps a dozen or so other states who, like NM and CO, attempted the elimination as they were getting caught up in the overall defund the police effort, but as far as I know only those two and perhaps CT and strangely enough New York City succeeded in one form or another.
Just like the defund movement has started biting individual cities in the ass recently, I'm guessing this qualified immunity stunt will be re-thought soon in every jurisdiction it's implemented.
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 5:57pm
Yes, I'm aware of that bit of political theater, Colorado is another state which successfully eliminated qualified immunity. There were perhaps a dozen or so other states who, like NM and CO, attempted the elimination as they were getting caught up in the overall defund the police effort, but as far as I know only those two and perhaps CT and strangely enough New York City succeeded in one form or another.
Just like the defund movement has started biting individual cities in the ass recently, I'm guessing this qualified immunity stunt will be re-thought soon in every jurisdiction it's implemented.Colorado does not end Qualified Immunity/Become a human rights mecca until July 1st, 2023. New Mexico is your.lab to prove it works and needs to go Nationwide STAT. Rob
Colorado does not end Qualified Immunity/Become a human rights mecca until July 1st, 2023. Yes, even bad legislation has an effective date. What do you think the odds are it will be repealed before taking effect?
iris lilies
4-24-22, 6:08pm
WOW! And yet you very strongly support law enforcement. Such is your right but wow! Rob
Rob, I know that police officers’ actions in the line of duty are not held to the same standard as my own action, if that’s what this phrase means.
gimmethesimplelife
4-24-22, 6:11pm
Yes, even bad legislation has an effective date. What do you think the odds are it will be repealed before taking effect?Not good at all. Colorado - though it's not Minnesota - has been in the news for high level police brutality which can not far off economically destroy the life of - of the type of officer that makes qualified immunity necessary to abolish to begin with. Rob
In the under age 65 age group more people die from auto accidents than covid. Do you also pray that none of your loved ones dies in a car crash? Do you get angry about accidents and the needless deaths caused by reckless driving? Do you think we should have driving lockdowns where people can only use other modes of transportation?
It seems if you watched less media coverage of covid you would put it in perspective like most people do.
Why do you hate old people?
iris lilies
4-25-22, 6:22am
Why do you hate old people?well, we ARE kind of irritating in our inability to make technology work, our impatience with the new and untried, and our never ending physical complaints.
ToomuchStuff
4-25-22, 8:58am
Why do you hate old people?
Because she is joining them, soon enough?
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