View Full Version : Old stalker shows up again
You may remember this post from 2011. Well, the stalker is back!
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?1902-Guy-stalking-me-at-public-events/page1
A close friend is now the pastor at the old church I left in 2008. CG (the stalker) and his family are very active members there. Different branch of my denomination.
My branch of denomination has Sunday night Lenten services at different local parishes. I don’t go to those anymore. Friends from current parish tell me CG showed up at the one my parish hosted a few weeks back and was asking lots of questions about me. I wasn’t at the Sunday night service at my parish.
CG has now begun showing up at my parish for all services. When I’m not there he asks people where I am. I was there Saturday and Sunday of last weekend and Wednesday night when he was there. I was in choir. Doing his old habit of starting at me. I advised my priest right away when friends told me CG had been asking after me constantly. Priest was very concerned and told me he was going to talk to CG the next time he shows up. CG comes by himself, but the entire entourage (see previous thread), now with three kids, comes on Sunday.
I found out he’s been friend requesting friends of mine on FB. Diving friends he would have no reason to know. My posts are for friends only. Friends list is friends only. However, the WI dive shop and other friends have taken photos and tagged me in public posts. He mentioned me when friend requesting these people. They refused his friend request and mentioned it to me. I have screen shots from the friends.
This guy doesn’t know he was the primary catalyst for me learning to shoot and getting my concealed carry permit (as soon as IL had them in 2014). I will now be carrying all the time again. I had sort of slacked off some.
Easter is in a few weeks and the local diving hole opens at the end of the month. I’ll be gone diving and not at church for weeks at a time.
happystuff
4-9-22, 10:11am
Ugh, Tradd. Sorry you are going through all this... again!!! Hopefully your pastor will be able to do... something!?!? I have no other ideas, but wish you well and stay safe!
Could you get a restraining order against him?
He’s really done nothing illegal or harassing - yet.
Simplemind
4-9-22, 11:32am
Very concerning. So sorry Tradd.
https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/stalkingcyberstalking
This is what I would do:
https://www.cookcountycourt.org/ABOUT-THE-COURT/County-Department/Domestic-Violence/How-Do-I-
I had a protective order from Cook County against my stalking ex. It is possible to get them.
ToomuchStuff
4-9-22, 12:18pm
Does your church have a security force? (common now after some church shootings)
Consider having the pastor approach CG's wife and explain that you left your other church because of him stalking and you are considering a restraining order as he has been cyberstalking you. You may not need an actual restraining order then. (but look into it)
Teacher Terry
4-9-22, 1:36pm
This is really creepy after all these years. Hoping you get it resolved without problems. Ugh!
Does your church have a security force? (common now after some church shootings)
Consider having the pastor approach CG's wife and explain that you left your other church because of him stalking and you are considering a restraining order as he has been cyberstalking you. You may not need an actual restraining order then. (but look into it)
I didn't leave the previous church due to the stalking (I left about 3 years before he came along).
No church security force. Priest is an anti-gunner. He doesn't know I carry. I'll keep it that way.
I would go to the police and lay out the whole history and make them aware of all of it and see what they recommend.
iris lilies
4-9-22, 8:09pm
You may remember this post from 2011. Well, the stalker is back!
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?1902-Guy-stalking-me-at-public-events/page1
…I found out he’s been friend requesting friends of mine on FB. Diving friends he would have no reason to know. My posts are for friends only. Friends list is friends only. However, the WI dive shop and other friends have taken photos and tagged me in public posts. He mentioned me when friend requesting these people. They refused his friend request and mentioned it to me. I have screen shots from the friends…
.
Ah, yes, the “Friending my friends” stalker trick of Facebook. Your friends are more discriminating than mine, apparently. Good for them.
For the record, to anyone who is reading this since this is an open forum on the web Please know I don’t care who becomes friends with my friends on Facebook. That is not my circus nor my monkeys and is uninteresting to me.
iris lilies
4-10-22, 9:58am
I would go to the police and lay out the whole history and make them aware of all of it and see what they recommend.
I don’t know, I wouldn’t bother our city Police Department with this most likely given their reduced force. So much of it depends on which police officer you get. I would probably tend to find a police officer with some experience at this, a family friend, someone in church.
Tradd, this is concerning behavior, make no mistake, I just don’t know that calling in authorities at this point will get you anything. If you place a random call or visit to a police desk you never know who’s going to be sitting at that desk and how they will treat this issue. I don’t know if CG’s behavior rises to the level of taking a police report to have on file. Police reports come with …stuff which is why sometimes police officers are reluctant to write a report. It’s not just a report and file, it’s a whole process.
I don’t know, I wouldn’t bother our city Police Department with this most likely given their reduced force. So much of it depends on which police officer you get. I would probably tend to find a police officer with some experience at this, a family friend, someone in church.
Tradd, this is concerning behavior, make no mistake, I just don’t know that calling in authorities at this point will get you anything. If you place a random call or visit to a police desk you never know who’s going to be sitting at that desk and how they will treat this issue. I don’t know if CG’s behavior rises to the level of taking a police report to have on file. Police reports come with …stuff which is why sometimes police officers are reluctant to write a report. It’s not just a report and file, it’s a whole process.
IL, totally agreed. I called a friend last night and got the number of her son, who is a deputy for the county I live in (Cook). His best suggestion was to keep a log of any incidents, including those reported to me by others, such as him attempting to friend my friends on FB, asking about me.
CG attempted to attend the service last night. My priest wasn’t yet in the sanctuary to prepare for the service and told him he was not welcome (told him explicitly why), and to attend his own parish where he’s a member. Priest told me he’s going to call the priest at the parish where he’s a member to talk to CG, as well. Told CG if he shows up again that the police will be called. I was in the choir area when this happened, but I was sitting down behind other people who were standing so he couldn’t see me, but I heard it all.
happystuff
4-10-22, 10:28am
Nice job by your pastor!!!! I hope this makes a difference for you.
iris lilies
4-10-22, 12:52pm
Nice job by your pastor!!!! I hope this makes a difference for you.
All of this looks exactly right for what needs to happen for Tradd. She needs a group of menfolk around her to show this Neanderthal CG he may not mess with “their “woman. When you are dealing with a Neanderthal you need to respond with Neanderthal tactics.
Teacher Terry
4-10-22, 2:44pm
Your pastor did the right thing and I hope it works.
Ah, yes, the “Friending my friends” stalker trick of Facebook. Your friends are more discriminating than mine, apparently. Good for them.
Yep, had this happen to me by an ex who stalked me but IRL as this predated Facebook. Some saw through it, other's didn't.
Sorry to hear this is happening to you, Tradd, but good to hear that the priest did the right thing.
So this guy is stalking while married with 3 kids? And has them in tow? So weird.
Oh yes, he stalked before with his mother, sister, and then wife was added later on.
So far I’ve not seen him and the entourage again.
Deleted the detailed post I had written. The stalker is done laying low. Working on getting order of protection in place. I’ve let all my friends know, employer, etc. Now using a VPN and Proton Mail. There has been some weird stuff going on with home internet so just using mobile data now. I’m being very careful. Will keep you guys updated.
Wow, Tradd...scary stuff. You're taking good precautions.
iris lilies
5-3-22, 2:02pm
This all seems sensible Tradd.
I’m being very careful. Will keep you guys updated.
Sympathies!
Oh no! Be extra careful - this may set him off the edge big time. I know you know that and are prepared.
ToomuchStuff
5-3-22, 3:33pm
Hope things work out, and get some extra range/practice time, just in case. Be safe.
I wonder what caused him to reappear? Scary business!
Tangentially, Firefox Opera comes with free VPN. Chrome is my regular browser, but I'm all over International browsing.
happystuff
5-4-22, 11:07am
So sorry this has started up again, Tradd. I know you will but.. be careful!!
Temporarily deactivated my LinkedIn account. I am not willing to even temporarily deactivate FB as a lot of my diving is arranged there.
Now trying to deal with the people who live in the 7 other units in my building. Both outer doors are constantly not shutting all the way so anyone can just walk in. That and people continually propping the fire doors on both floors open and leaving them that way.
Order of protection was denied. They did not consider this situation to need one. I do have a paperwork trail going with my local police department and they are aware of the situation.
Teacher Terry
5-4-22, 1:13pm
That’s really creepy. We took the door stops off the outside doors so people can’t prop them open. Occasionally someone uses a rock which defeats the purpose of a secure building.
Order of protection was denied. They did not consider this situation to need one. I do have a paperwork trail going with my local police department and they are aware of the situation.
Having the paperwork trail can be important in the aftermath, as I'm sure you well know. I suspect you have the situation well in hand, but if you need to chat about such things, feel free to PM me. (I spent years and years dealing with an analogous situation myself, and used to work with an organization that helped other folks deal with this sort of thing.)
That’s really creepy. We took the door stops off the outside doors so people can’t prop them open. Occasionally someone uses a rock which defeats the purpose of a secure building.
The doors themselves don’t fully close. It’s something with the door itself.
Having the paperwork trail can be important in the aftermath, as I'm sure you well know. I suspect you have the situation well in hand, but if you need to chat about such things, feel free to PM me. (I spent years and years dealing with an analogous situation myself, and used to work with an organization that helped other folks deal with this sort of thing.)
Thank you, Bae! I thought I did remember you mentioning that in the past.
Just checking in. I’m fine. Haven’t seen the stalker.
Oddly, I cannot access the forum with my VPN active nor via the Brave browser. Have to disconnect VPN and switch to Safari.
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