Texting habits

[jp1]

Thinking about the different love languages, as rob is alluding to in his post, has got me thinking about my texting habits since texting is a key way that I keep in touch with people who are important to me.

SO does brief daily ‘good morning’ text chats with a few close friends. And also spends a few minutes every morning on Facebook sending happy birthday wishes to everyone in his friends list whose birthday is that day. I personally hate those Facebook happy birthdays so I have set my birthday as hidden. Having someone I haven’t interacted with in the past year wishing me a happy birthday just because my name popped up on a list seems trite to me rather than heartfelt so I’d rather save them the unappreciated effort and me the time it takes to read them and click the like or love button.

For me a much more natural situation is the running text conversations I have with 4 people. (My sister and 3 close friends). These conversations tend to be ongoing and happen throughout the day pretty much every day. We all know pretty much everything that’s going on in each other’s lives. They tend to include a fair amount of pictures (omg, eleanor (cat) looks so cute right now doing blah blah blah or I’m so frustrated with work IT issues that I’d rather be emptying the dishwasher (with a pic of the full dishwasher that I’m about to empty)) but also just random thoughts on an article I read that I think will be interesting to the person or venting about a work annoyance or sharing a work success with someone who will be happy for me. I suppose for some other people this sounds like a weak substitute for more in person communication but for me, a moderate introvert who doesn’t easily make new friends, it works well. Especially since of the 4 people only one is local. Two are in southern CA and one is in Kansas City. All four have been important to me for a long time and have been a part of my life when key difficulties happened and they were there to support me just as I’ve been there for them in their difficult times. The most recently acquired friend became my friend 13 years ago. The others I’ve known for 23, 32, and 54 years. (54 because my sister has known me since pretty much the day I was born. She didn’t like me initially and in fact ran away from home shortly after I came home from the hospital, announcing to my mother before she left that she was going to go live with our aunt in a different state because of me. 13 blocks from our house she was noticed by a cop who thought it odd that a 4 year old girl seemed to be on a serious mission. Fortunately she was naive enough to get duped by him telling her ‘Kansas is a long way from Denver. Let’s go talk to your mom and if she says it’s ok I’ll drive you.’ We’ve since reconciled.)

I suppose if we still lived in the pre-text world I’d be using the phone to keep in touch with these people but I prefer this. I’m curious whether I’m unique or if others of you find text as the best way to keep in touch with those who you are closest to.

[iris lilies]

I like the communication tool that is text not voice, but I do not “text “on the phone as you mean. I prefer email.

I hate my phone. It’s always out of juice. It’s a tiny screen. Hardly anyone is in my contacts list anyway that I would want to talk to.

Funny you should say that because this morning when I was waking up there was beeping noises. I usually take my iPad to bed. Someone was texting me and I don’t know what the noises are because I get text so seldom. And for reasons I don’t understand my iPad picks up texts if the sender has an Apple device.

But I would would never text or email anyone every day. Honestly, DH and I go for days without talking to each Other when he’s in Hermann and I’m in the city. In fact, yesterday we had about three exchanges via email about unimportant stuff, joking stuff. That is VERY unusual for us.

[Alan]

I was slow to adapt to texting since it seemed so impersonal to me. I probably sent my first text maybe 6 or so years ago while still working, and it was probably a response to a coworker. After retiring, my wife started texting me a few times a day during work breaks and one of my grandsons began texting fairly frequently, just to say Hi.

The other grandson (special needs) is a Facetime junkie. He calls me probably a half dozen times per day. Every evening I have to tell him that it's almost my bedtime so no more Facetime calls till tomorrow. That's when he then texts me to say goodnight, he's a good rule follower but always finds a way to circumvent. :D

[jp1]

Lol. I totally understand. Although for years I have left the phone next to the bed until recently I didn’t normally silence it when I went to bed because no one ever texted overnight. Now I get a lot of spam texts from theoretically pretty ladies who want to make me happy all night long and what not (hint, what would make me happy all night long is not getting spam texts from random lady bots while I’m trying to sleep). Anyway, when I started current job three years ago the press release about it dropped at about 5 am California time. And my phone went crazy with various professional friends congratulating me. Uggh. So about two weeks into this job I got a very early start to my day one day.

With SO I hardly text at all beyond the ‘meet me at xyz restaurant at abc time’ kind of texts. We see each other every day except Wednesday when he leaves early for work and then goes to his bowling league in the evening and gets home after I’ve gone to bed so I can just talk to him when we’re both home.

[jp1]

The other grandson (special needs) is a Facetime junkie. He calls me probably a half dozen times per day. Every evening I have to tell him that it's almost my bedtime so no more Facetime calls till tomorrow. That's when he then texts me to say goodnight, he's a good rule follower but always finds a way to circumvent. :D

That totally makes sense. If I had someone in my life like your grandson I would be fine with FaceTime becoming a big part of my life. Meeting someone in the place they are most comfortable is important. It’s not like one could just say ‘grandson, please text instead.’ That would just shut off communication and be disappointing to both of you.

[catherine]

Interesting topic.

I'm a brief texter, but DH writes epistles. If one of our kids announces that they got a promotion, I'll text "So proud of you! Love you! [heart emoji]" and DH will text paragraphs reliving the kid's prior successes that led to this achievement, and he'll throw in Rudyard Kipling poems and add sloppy, lovey personal messages. He makes me feel inadequate in the texting department.

What's worse, I don't like calling, so it's not like I spend my time talking on the phone rather than text. I'm just not that demonstrative--at least compared to my emotional DH.

[JaneV2.0]

Like Iris Lily, I prefer email. I texted a few months ago when I was in the middle of installing a new wi-fi router/modem combo, but that was unusual. As a rule, I only talk business on the phone--my land line, specifically.

[KayLR]

My sister and I text back and forth maybe once or twice weekly. Texting is my DD's favorite mode of communication. I can't remember the last time we actually spoke on the phone. She texts almost daily, mostly wanting to ask if I'll pick up one of the kids, how to cook something, something she's exasperated about, sends pics of something she's cooked, grown or a bird she's watching. It's kind of like sharing her day...

Now Alan, I do know what you're talking about firsthand. My autistic grandson, 19, calls me every day as he's out on his walks. It's like I'm his walking companion. He natters on and on about whatever his obsession of the day is, and when he gets back to his front door step, he says, "Ok, Granny, I'm back home now. I'll talk to you later." I've hardly said a word during these "walks." He just likes my company I guess. LOL!

[ToomuchStuff]

August of 2020, was when I did my first text. I had to get a new phone number and Smart phone (company payed for that, not the service), when the boss died. Before that, everyone knew not to text me (cost a lot more) and that old candy bar style phone, was impossible for me to text from (tried once, couldn't figure it out).
Now it is mostly a quick note to the other boss, when he is in dialysis. (had to scold him today, as he keeps putting the register in program mode and screwing things up, when the mode he needs is 180 from that). Scheduling another thing (younger generation seems to prefer texting to calls), as well as ordering from one particular supplier, because I found it easier to give him a list, that he can refer to when he isn't driving, or can check later). I actually taught him to text in the last year.
Quick family communications as well (sibling in meetings as work, parent at cancer treatment, etc), that they can respond back to at convenience.

Edit: I actually prefer email. Why? Full size keyboard.

[rosarugosa]

I took to texting like a duck to water; honestly I just love anything that lets me communicate with other human beings without actually having to talk to them, so e-mail, text, or Facebook Messenger are all beloved by me. I am like Catherine though, and my texts are pretty succinct.

[happystuff]

I don't mind texting and like that it keeps me in contact with family - immediate and extended. Since everyone is on different schedules, in different time zones, etc., texting allows us to put something out there - keeping everyone up to date - while allowing each person to respond when they are able. And like KayLR, it is one of my kids' favorite method of communication, so I'll take it! lol

[Teacher Terry]

I love texting and keep in touch with many people that way.

[jp1]

I was a big fan of e-mail when that first became a thing and only transitioned to texting when a younger friend, In his 20’s, not one of my dailies, got me in the habit of texting him. He would be really slow about responding to emails but texts would get a response the same day.

My preference for electronic communication stems from my first hob out of college. Box office manager for a large performing arts organization. That job required talking on the phone to patrons all day. Most were fine but a couple calls a day were upset people. It took years after I left that job to not cringe every time I heard a phone ring.

[JaneV2.0]

I was a big fan of e-mail when that first became a thing and only transitioned to texting when a younger friend, In his 20’s, not one of my dailies, got me in the habit of texting him. He would be really slow about responding to emails but texts would get a response the same day.

My preference for electronic communication stems from my first hob out of college. Box office manager for a large performing arts organization. That job required talking on the phone to patrons all day. Most were fine but a couple calls a day were upset people. It took years after I left that job to not cringe every time I heard a phone ring.

After a series of deaths, diseases, and other tragedies, I began to flinch whenever I heard a phone ring--even on TV. So I disabled the ringer on my phone. Problem solved.

[jp1]

After a series of deaths, diseases, and other tragedies, I began to flinch whenever I heard a phone ring--even on TV. So I disabled the ringer on my phone. Problem solved.

I agree. Since I don't have anyone in my life currently who might call me needing immediate assistance for anything I have found that the do not disturb function on my iphone is awesome and should be used frequently. People can send a text or leave a voicemail when it's convenient for them. I'll read/listen to them and respond when it's convenient for me.

[catherine]

I have a landline that I use only for business, so I keep the ringer super low. I can't hear it unless I'm sitting right next to the phone. My kids like to call that phone because the cell signal is bad up here, so I often miss their calls, but I figure they can text me to ask me to call them from the landline. I'd rather do that than subject myself to loud rings from calls that are bound to be telemarketers.

[JaneV2.0]

I'll keep my landline as its sound quality is reliably good and I don't have to worry about battery strength. It's certainly not "cost-effective." but that's OK.

[rosarugosa]

We have Verizon DSL internet tied to our landline, so that is one good reason to keep our landline. We also don't really have any complaints about our internet service, while everyone else in town is constantly complaining about Comcast (the only other option around here).

[iris lilies]

I agree. Since I don't have anyone in my life currently who might call me needing immediate assistance for anything I have found that the do not disturb function on my iphone is awesome and should be used frequently. People can send a text or leave a voicemail when it's convenient for them. I'll read/listen to them and respond when it's convenient for me.
So, please explain to how this is just is different from email?

[catherine]

So, please explain to how this is just is different from email?

I agree with jp1 about the DND function... I use it all the time in interviews. If my clients want to text me a follow-up question, I get it immediately but I don't get interrupted by phone calls

IL, the texts are much better at capturing your attention at the moment. An email is good if you don't mind waiting for people to get around to reading their email. They are also easier to use and faster to write. And the recipient will be much more likely to see it immediately and pay attention as opposed to being one message among many emails because usually texts come only from trusted contacts (although that is starting to change unfortunately).

[iris lilies]

I agree with jp1 about the DND function... I use it all the time in interviews. If my clients want to text me a follow-up question, I get it immediately but I don't get interrupted by phone calls

IL, the texts are much better at capturing your attention at the moment. An email is good if you don't mind waiting for people to get around to reading their email. They are also easier to use and faster to write. And the recipient will be much more likely to see it immediately and pay attention as opposed to being one message among many emails because usually texts come only from trusted contacts (although that is starting to change unfortunately).

Well, with you and JP turning off the little dingers, those texts are not getting your attention immediately. Ha ha!

If I actually carried my phone, I would find the constant dinging and bids for my attention to be so incredibly annoying I might scream!

[jp1]

So, please explain to how this is just is different from email?

I agree with Catherine. For me texting is more like an ongoing conversation that bends and weaves in this direction or that and routinely includes just a short sentence on a topic unrelated to what came before or after. When I send an email it’s more formal and structured in paragraphs of fully formed thoughts.

[iris lilies]

I agree with Catherine. For me texting is more like an ongoing conversation that bends and weaves in this direction or that and routinely includes just a short sentence on a topic unrelated to what came before or after. When I send an email it’s more formal and structured in paragraphs of fully formed thoughts.

I guess I use email as texting. Today I sent 4 emails to my cousin as we talk about several issues going on in our lives.

[jp1]

If I actually carried my phone, I would find the constant dinging and bids for my attention to be so incredibly annoying I might scream!

I actually hate the alert noises. So even when i’have rhe alerts turned on I always have the sound off. Just the buzzing of it in my pocket or on the desk.

[frugal-one]

I verbally texted today for the first time.... kinda cool.