Advice for birth partner (me)

[catherine]

My daughter is having her baby any time now. Two days past due date. I am a designated birth partner, along with her husband.

She wants me there mainly to guide her through relaxing breathing techniques.

I have to admit--I'm nervous!! I had four kids of my own via Lamaze, but now I have to walk the line between being supportive and annoying for someone I dearly love in one of the most important moments of her life.

Any advice?

I am not bringing anything except for lavender/CBD stress putty (DH suggested bringing a word game like Taboo, to play while she's in early labor, which we were quick to point out is probably not going to be helpful).

Anything else I should bring? Any thoughts on what will bring value to her experience?

[Yppej]

Be ready to advocate for her with the medical staff if they don't listen to her.

They sent me home saying it could be days, and I was in such pain as soon as I got home I turned around and went back. I had precipitate labor. They actually told me not to push because the doctor had to come from another area of the hospital. I finally told them I can't help it, I have to push. The baby wanted to come.

Some women in my state have had trouble trying to do the breathing exercises because they're forced to wear a mask while giving birth.

[catherine]

Be ready to advocate for her with the medical staff if they don't listen to her.

They sent me home saying it could be days, and I was in such pain as soon as I got home I turned around and went back. I had precipitate labor. They actually told me not to push because the doctor had to come from another area of the hospital. I finally told them I can't help it, I have to push. The baby wanted to come.

Some women in my state have had trouble trying to do the breathing exercises because they're forced to wear a mask while giving birth.

Thank you.

Regarding pushing, I'm the queen of not listening to the doctors. I had one son born on the delivery table extension with no one there because I just felt like pushing, whether the doctor was in the room or not. Then I rebelled again with Son #3, when the doctor told me not to push because he wouldn't be out of surgery for another half hour, but I pushed anyway, so he barely caught the baby in time. I finally got a good, understanding, doctor who told me to go ahead and push when I told him that I felt I had to when we were enroute in an ambulance and so DD was born practically on the sidewalk of Princeton Medical Center.

I hadn't thought about the ramifications of using breathing techniques with a mask. I don't know if they will be required once we are sequestered in the labor room, but chances are they will. I'll look into modifications for relaxation techniques if that is the case.

[rosarugosa]

I have no useful input, but I wish you folks the best of luck and I hope all goes smoothly!

[JaneV2.0]

Good luck to both of you!

[lmerullo]

Congrats!

Helpful things are snacks, a drinking cup with lid and straw that doesn't dribble, a tennis ball for massaging, and small hard candies - !lemon worked for one dd. Oh, and alcohol swabs for nausea - mom and hubby may need these! Upon the birth of first granddaughter, my son was having a more difficult time than his partner.

Magazines, Bluetooth speaker ( if permitted) to play quiet music/ meditations or whatever. Charging cords for devices, spare battery for camera.

[Tybee]

Congrats!

Helpful things are snacks, a drinking cup with lid and straw that doesn't dribble, a tennis ball for massaging, and small hard candies - !lemon worked for one dd. Oh, and alcohol swabs for nausea - mom and hubby may need these! Upon the birth of first granddaughter, my son was having a more difficult time than his partner.

Magazines, Bluetooth speaker ( if permitted) to play quiet music/ meditations or whatever. Charging cords for devices, spare battery for camera.

These seem like good suggestions--can you bring a cozy blanket from home--I had chills while in labor, for some reason. Is there a baby blanket from when she was a baby, to wrap the baby in? An outfit from her to wear home?

I like the magazine idea, if things get slow--something where you can talk about the pictures, like Country Living.

I can't imagine she would be annoyed by anything you would do--what a great honor she has asked you, and bet she is so happy you will be there.

[jp1]

How do alcohol swabs help with nausea?

[iris lilies]

How do alcohol swabs help with nausea?
I had that same question.

[happystuff]

Already lots of helpful advice and suggestions. Just wanted to say congrats and all the best to everyone!

[catherine]

Congrats!

Helpful things are snacks, a drinking cup with lid and straw that doesn't dribble, a tennis ball for massaging, and small hard candies - !lemon worked for one dd. Oh, and alcohol swabs for nausea - mom and hubby may need these! Upon the birth of first granddaughter, my son was having a more difficult time than his partner.

Magazines, Bluetooth speaker ( if permitted) to play quiet music/ meditations or whatever. Charging cords for devices, spare battery for camera.

Fantastic suggestions! Thank you!


I can't imagine she would be annoyed by anything you would do

She doesn't want constant, cloying attention along the lines of "Can I get you_____?" every 15 minutes. She said if she wants something she'll ask for it. I get it.


can you bring a cozy blanket from home--I had chills while in labor, for some reason. Is there a baby blanket from when she was a baby, to wrap the baby in? An outfit from her to wear home?

I like the idea of the blanket, too! Sometimes those thin hospital blankets don't cut it. As far as the baby wrap, I actually have the sweatshirt that I was wearing when she was born! It's a sweet scarlet red sweatshirt with a small heart silkscreened on it, which was so appropriate for the occasion! (I didn't have time to take it off during labor because of the quick ambulance birth). I suppose I could bring that sweatshirt in just for sentimentality sake, but that's a little much.


I like the magazine idea, if things get slow--something where you can talk about the pictures, like Country Living.


I was thinking along those same lines--She's a photographer, so I was thinking of a magazine or book with beautiful, evocative photography in it that her eyes could just settle on.

I appreciate all this help. I think I'll start packing some of them this morning!

[lmerullo]

Re: alcohol swab and nausea, this came up from Google

https://intjem.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12245-021-00334-z

Plus the power of suggestion helps in this case, as the nausea is often triggered by emotion and not illness.