Chores, allowances and political beliefs

[catherine]

I'm inbetween work tasks right now and somehow my mind meandered to the topic of allowances for kids. I wonder if there is any correlation between philosophies about allowances and affiliation with a political party.

I think the two ways of thinking about allowances are:

1. You do your chores and you get paid. If you don't do your chores you don't get paid.

2. You do your chores because you are a member of the family and we all work together. Your allowance is independent of that, and you get it no matter what.

It would seem to me that #1 is the more "Republican" approach because it's based on economic reward and meritocracy. "I want you to learn that this is the way the world works" I would imagine the thinking goes in this case.

Conversely, #2 is more of a "Democrat" model--money has nothing to do with the fact that the family is its own ecosystem. "I want you to learn that it's important for all of us to cooperate and work together. You are entitled to your allowance as a member of our family."

Of course, there's #3: kids don't get an allowance, and they may or may not have to do chores. But Mom and Dad will dole out as they see fit. What political belief would that be?

Did you give your kids allowances? If so, were there conditions attached? Does my hypothesis hold water?

Back to work now. Otherwise I won't get my "allowance" from my client! :)

[iris lilies]

My parents were Democrats. They operated under #2.

Funny that I have no memory of receiving, saving, or spending allowance money.

I do remember that my brother loved guns as a little kid. He still does, is a lifelong NRA member. My mother was anti-gun.

My brother saved his allowance until he could buy the most realistic toy gun out there.He was around 7 years old.

[iris lilies]

Also, my allowance was not expected to cover real life things like clothes. I remember using my mom’s charge card to buy clothes.

But mainly, I remember switching to Uber frugal the moment I started supporting myself. There was a huge divide in my mind between parental money and my money.“My” money was sacred and must be preserved while parental money while appreciated and valued, was free money.Didn’t earn it, didn’t have to hoard it.

[Tybee]

My kids are big Democrats but they operate under the Republican allowance system.
I think I did the same--not sure what I am, although I was a Bernie Sanders supporter.

[catherine]

Also, my allowance was not expected to cover real life things like clothes. I remember using my mom’s charge card to buy clothes.

But mainly, I remember switching to Uber frugal the moment I started supporting myself. There was a huge divide in my mind between parental money and my money.

Interesting!

I believe that as a parent I fell under #3--loosey-goosey with chores as well as allowances. Maybe that makes me an anarchist. There was one time I stuck to allowances, and that was when I had my two youngest, 5 and 6 years old, in St. Louis at Union Station doing the movie my son was in. We lived in the hotel there for 3 months, and our view was of the mall. The kids would look out the window and want-want-want. I knew I had to come up with a plan to deal with the gimme's.

So I gave them a $5 a week allowance each. My daughter had her eyes on a Little Mermaid pencil case at the Disney store ($30)--my son wanted a diary from the Hallmark store ($13). My daughter saved up her $5 bill every week for 6 weeks until she got the $30 and on The Big Day, we all went to the Disney store. She took it off the rack and paused. She looked at it, she looked in her wallet at her 6 $5 bills. She looked at the pencil case and in her wallet. She put back the pencil case and walked out of the store.

OTOH, my son asked for an advance on his allowance Week 1 so that he could buy the diary. He always spent the allowance before he had it. Thank goodness he grew out of that phase. He's very conservative with his money and only spends what he has to. My daughter OTOH, is not a spendthrift, but she's not a huge saver either.

Meanwhile, I'm still loosey-goosey.

[iris lilies]

Interesting!

I believe that as a parent I fell under #3--loosey-goosey with chores as well as allowances. Maybe that makes me an anarchist. There was one time I stuck to allowances, and that was when I had my two youngest, 5 and 6 years old, in St. Louis at Union Station doing the movie my son was in. We lived in the hotel there for 3 months, and our view was of the mall. The kids would look out the window and want-want-want. I knew I had to come up with a plan to deal with the gimme's.

So I gave them a $5 a week allowance each. My daughter had her eyes on a Little Mermaid pencil case at the Disney store ($30)--my son wanted a diary from the Hallmark store ($13). My daughter saved up her $5 bill every week for 6 weeks until she got the $30 and on The Big Day, we all went to the Disney store. She took it off the rack and paused. She looked at it, she looked in her wallet at her 6 $5 bills. She looked at the pencil case and in her wallet. She put back the pencil case and walked out of the store.

OTOH, my son asked for an advance on his allowance Week 1 so that he could buy the diary. He always spent the allowance before he had it. Thank goodness he grew out of that phase. He's very conservative with his money and only spends what he has to. My daughter OTOH, is not a spendthrift, but she's not a huge saver either.

Meanwhile, I'm still loosey-goosey.

oh, I remember that mall and the Disney store. You know I walked by there every day on my way to work.

That mall went downhill and now there are no stores in it. Pretty sad. I’m not sure what they use all that space for other than the St. Louis aquarium. But at one time it was a lively active place in the years you were there it used to be a place we took out of town guests because it was kind of a carnival atmosphere for a shopping mall. The fudge show was a stopping point.

[catherine]

oh, I remember that mall and the Disney store. You know I walked by there every day on my way to work.

That mall went downhill and now there are no stores in it. Pretty sad. I’m not sure what they use all that space for other than the St. Louis aquarium. But at one time it was a lively active place in the years you were there it used to be a place we took out of town guests because it was kind of a carnival atmosphere for a shopping mall. The fudge show was a stopping point.

That was a great place! I definitely remember the fudge guy! Is the koi pond still there? The kids used to love getting the fish food out of the little machine and feeding them. And we ate at Houlihan's all the time.

Malls are definitely dying a slow death everywhere. It will be interesting to see where it all settles. I think a lot of people still like looking at things before they buy them. DH has been looking for a store that sells men's sweaters here, and he can't find one. We have a Penney's, Target, Kohl's, Marshall's, but according to him, none of them sell sweaters. He has to buy one online. There used to be a Macy's right on Church Street, but that mall was taken down and will be replaced with light retail, restaurants and housing.

[iris lilies]

That was a great place! I definitely remember the fudge guy! Is the koi pond still there? The kids used to love getting the fish food out of the little machine and feeding them. And we ate at Houlihan's all the time.

Malls are definitely dying a slow death everywhere. It will be interesting to see where it all settles. I think a lot of people still like looking at things before they buy them. DH has been looking for a store that sells men's sweaters here, and he can't find one. We have a Penney's, Target, Kohl's, Marshall's, but according to him, none of them sell sweaters. He has to buy one online. There used to be a Macy's right on Church Street, but that mall was taken down and will be replaced with light retail, restaurants and housing.

hmmm, I cannot think where the koi pond was. We feed Koi at the Missouri Botanical gardens, but at Union Station I don’t know about koi.

online shopping is fine for some things but not for fabrics, I like touching them. It’s very hard to get a read on how heavy cotton T-shirt is for instance. I shopped 100% of the time at thrift stores for my clothes where I can touch them, feel the clothing until Covid and then I was forced into buying online for a few years. I still do that occasionally.

I went into an appliance store that carried Big Chill brand appliances, and because I was able to touch and feel the heavy door and the chrome accoutrements of the red stove, I decided to buy it. The visuals alone were not a big enough selling point for me because I could get a red stove anywhere online even if it wasn’t retro look. By touching the stove, I can see why the prices were high, because everything is made of a heavy gauge.

we have a JCPenney store in our “big” town 30 miles away, and I marvel at it. I went in there a couple months ago just to look around. It was pretty dead. But boy it was a nice store spacious with lots of room between the displays, wide isles, etc. tThis JC Penney store is right next-door to the Goodwill store, which is always hopping with activity. It’s a brand new Goodwill store and they do a lovely job at keeping merchandise clean and dusted.

[herbgeek]

My allowance was dependent on my mother's mood, and whether she felt she needed to get someone "on her side". If you received your allowance, fealty was expected. I still had a heavy chore load regardless. I don't ever remember seeing my mother do any house work- that was for the kids (mostly me at one point, since the siblings were older and working and the baby of the family was 10 year younger than me). I dusted, vacummed, did dishes, washed floors, cleaned bathrooms before I even got into high school. Because my allowance was so uneven, I got into the splurge when I had it mode and blew it all on candy because I didn't know when money would be coming again. I did not use that model once I started working and could count on money being there at regular intervals. Dad was a Republican, but had no involvement in allowances. Mom did whatever Dad told her to do and when she occasionally voted, it was for whatever candidate my Dad told her to vote for.

[bae]

I never really gave my daughter an allowance. There simply aren't many places to spend money here, and she never seemed to have the need for cash when young. Sometime in the middle of elementary school, she started making so much $$$ on her 4H projects that an allowance never became an issue through high school graduation.

I did involve her early on in family budgeting and in managing a portion of the family philanthropic activities. I also taught her about compound interest and YMOYL at a very young age.

As a consequence, she is still hugely frugal, even though she now has considerable assets in her hands.

[ToomuchStuff]

Bunk.

When we were small, our parents put us on an allowance. However we never saw any of it because they were always borrowing it. Parents are generally Republican.

As I got older, to go do anything (movie, etc), I had to save up my lunch money from school.

[frugal-one]

We gave our son an allowance with the understanding it was his job in the household. He always did his chores and it was never an issue. He is money-wise and frugal to this day. I don’t think their is a political association to this.

[jp1]

My parents gave me an allowance that was not predicated on doing chores. It came, week in and week out. And as I got older I got raises every so often. By the time I graduated high school in 1986 I was getting $10 or $15/week. I didn't have any specifically assigned chores but it was very much expected that I, as a member of the family, would do chores when asked. "JP, can you take the trash out?" "JP, please dry the dishes." "JP, please come sweep the sidewalk after I mow the lawn." Saying no was not really an option.

A wrinkle that hasn't been mentioned. Some of my friends at the time had more out of pocket expenses than I did. My parents provided a car for me to use once I got my driver's license and covered all the costs associated with it. They also paid for all my clothes through high school. I had friends at the time who didn't have those financial supports. One friend routinely bought gas $1 or $2 at a time because she never had the cash flow to buy more since she was paying for it out of her minimum wage job at a fast food place. (and I can recall more than one occasion where I had to help her push the car to the side of the road because she'd run out of gas...) I just went to the "bank of mom" and said "the car needs gas" and she'd give me a $10 bill or whatever. All of my out of pocket expenses were truly discretionary things like buying a hamburger at mcdonalds because I wanted to hang out with my friends.

[jp1]

I believe that as a parent I fell under #3--loosey-goosey with chores as well as allowances.

After all these years of reading about (and occasionally commenting on) your financial life I am absolutely 100% NOT surprised to read this. :~)

[KayLR]

Like Bae's daughter, I did not receive an allowance. Small town, nothing to buy. It was never discussed. I heard about allowances, but I thought only rich kids got them.

Politics weren't really discussed at dinner, but my Dad once told my sister and I that he voted for Kennedy even though he was a democrat. Not sure about mom.

Once I started babysitting and doing Saturday housecleaning for my grandma, I supported my own Mad Magazine and 45s habits.

I held to #3 with my own daughters.

[Teacher Terry]

# 2 with my kids and they didn’t have a lot of chores because childhood should be a carefree time as you grow up so fast. It was theirs to spend as they wanted because we covered their needs.

[catherine]

After all these years of reading about (and occasionally commenting on) your financial life I am absolutely 100% NOT surprised to read this. :~)

Oh, am I that transparent? :)

[frugal-one]

# 2 with my kids and they didn’t have a lot of chores because childhood should be a carefree time as you grow up so fast. It was theirs to spend as they wanted because we covered their needs.

Chores IMO are a way to instill responsibility and also by parent example. The chores were always based on age and never a lot of work.

[early morning]

Our kids got allowances and had chores, which they mostly did, with varying amounts of complaint. We covered basic expenses, but if they wanted brand-name shoes, for example, there was a set shoe price, and they paid the up-charge. We mostly did the same with clothing, there was a set clothes budget, and they could blow it on a couple expensive items, or more cheaper ones, or thrift for even more stuff for the money. Mostly they thrifted, as long as I'd drive them to the city so they weren't buying the neighbor's cast-offs, lol. Once my second kid saved for brand name sneakers. They never really said anything, but when they needed new shoes again, they bought within the parentally-set price range, and that was that. As adults, they both still thrift.

[iris lilies]

Our kids got allowances and had chores, which they mostly did, with varying amounts of complaint. We covered basic expenses, but if they wanted brand-name shoes, for example, there was a set shoe price, and they paid the up-charge. We mostly did the same with clothing, there was a set clothes budget, and they could blow it on a couple expensive items, or more cheaper ones, or thrift for even more stuff for the money. Mostly they thrifted, as long as I'd drive them to the city so they weren't buying the neighbor's cast-offs, lol. Once my second kid saved for brand name sneakers. They never really said anything, but when they needed new shoes again, they bought within the parentally-set price range, and that was that. As adults, they both still thrift.

That sounds as though your kids learned the skill of being reasonably frugal but they weren’t deprived.

I think it’s important to teach by example frugal skills in a household. Then when the kids get out on their own, they can revert to that if they do spend some time going off the rails buying expensive dumb crap.

[Teacher Terry]

Chores IMO are a way to instill responsibility and also by parent example. The chores were always based on age and never a lot of work.

Of course kids need some chores to learn responsibility but I was careful not to assign too many as I have seen others do. I also don’t believe that siblings should have to babysit each other. Either a kid is old enough to take care of themselves or they aren’t. When I was in graduate school my oldest 2 fell into that category and the youngest one I would have to get someone to watch him.

Early, I basically did the same as you in regard to clothes except we didn’t have thrift stores. One year my oldest who is now 50 wanted a pair of French jeans that cost $75. I had given him 200 and he had to buy 5 shirts and 5 pants for that. He bought a lot off the sale rack but got his expensive jeans. I thought it was a good lesson on how to manage money.,