Apartment Therapy article: Sorry Parents, Nobody Wants the Family Heirlooms

[catherine]

One of my friends/former colleagues is not a real estate agent and she posted the following article on FB:

https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sorry-parents-nobody-wants-the-family-heirlooms-249266

We have talked about this here and we know there is a generational divide on what is considered important and/or valuable. As you know, DH and I went through our purge where we gave away all kinds of "valuables" that were ours as well as our parents/grandparents/aunt/uncles, etc. We learned how hard it is to let things go.

But here is a twist. DH and I are STILL trying to whittle things down. Recently, we brought back from NJ some of the last dregs of our home there, some of which were old clothing pieces that were sentimental, but which we determined we would get rid of, unless our thrifter/picker son-in-law and DD were interested in selling them and keeping the money.

This weekend we presented the items to them:

We showed them DH's old field jacket and a formal military trench coat: "No! We couldn't sell that!" DH/I: "Couldn't you sell it for a lot of money?" Them: "Yes, for sure, but it has to stay in the family!"

We showed them DS's leather jacket that he wore when he was about 9-10, and DD's bomber jacket given to her by a movie production studio that she was involved in. "No! DXXX (their baby) can wear those later when he gets older!"

So, I'm not sure what millennial children the article is talking about but my Gen X children are making it hard for us to finally get own to the wire with our old crap!

[iris lilies]

One of my friends/former colleagues is not a real estate agent and she posted the following article on FB:

https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/sorry-parents-nobody-wants-the-family-heirlooms-249266

We have talked about this here and we know there is a generational divide on what is considered important and/or valuable. As you know, DH and I went through our purge where we gave away all kinds of "valuables" that were ours as well as our parents/grandparents/aunt/uncles, etc. We learned how hard it is to let things go.

But here is a twist. DH and I are STILL trying to whittle things down. Recently, we brought back from NJ some of the last dregs of our home there, some of which were old clothing pieces that were sentimental, but which we determined we would get rid of, unless our thrifter/picker son-in-law and DD were interested in selling them and keeping the money.

This weekend we presented the items to them:

We showed them DH's old field jacket and a formal military trench coat: "No! We couldn't sell that!" DH/I: "Couldn't you sell it for a lot of money?" Them: "Yes, for sure, but it has to stay in the family!"

We showed them DS's leather jacket that he wore when he was about 9-10, and DD's bomber jacket given to her by a movie production studio that she was involved in. "No! DXXX (their baby) can wear those later when he gets older!"

So, I'm not sure what millennial children the article is talking about but my Gen X children are making it hard for us to finally get own to the wire with our old crap!
That’s fine if your kids are actually taking the stuff. Did they actually take the stuff? Besides, you’re not trying to foist whole rooms full of old brown furniture on them, that is a different problem.

I don’t have a hard time letting things go. I also like the fact that all of the old brown furniture is not very popular. This puts 18 century chests within my price range.

[iris lilies]

I am on the edge of seeing people in their 60s 70s and 80s dealing with this. Just boggles my mind that people are so very stuck on their “stuff “. I have friends now in their 80s, plant society friends, who have a typical suburban double garage that is too full of stuff to park their cars in. a recent example of their collection is many boxes of print matter about iris from Missouri bOtanical Gardens.

Someone died and left these boxes of journals, books etc. to Missouri bOtanical Gardens but MoBot didn’t want them and gave them to my friend. What the hell he’s gonna do with them is beyond me.

My lily society had a “library “stored by a member that was three shelves of publications. I conveniently “forgot “about them when I dissolved the lily society. Soon after the person who was holding the library earnestly expressed the desire that this print material go to someone who wanted them, so we took them to a national convention and managed to get rid of most everything. But I was annoyed that I had to deal with the old musty volumes.

Any more, before I take on a role in a hobby group, I ask about the physical “stuff” that comes with the role. My personal boundary is set at 1 Tupperware tub per role and no more.

The idea I am imparting here is that if you think it is hard to get rid of your own stuff, wait until you encounter the ennui of an organization where no one has felt empowered to toss stuff for decades, so the pile grows and is passed on and on.

[catherine]

Point well taken! So far, no one has hoarded anything in my Master Gardener group, thank God! I like your boundary of 1 Tupperware tub... That's what I did with my kids' stuff. Packed them up their own tub and handed it over. They haven't looked at it since I gave it to them. One of my sons asked, "Mom, whatever happened to my yearbook?" I told him, "You have it. It's in your basement." They don't even know what's in it, so it's likely they don't care.

[Tybee]

I also love the one tupperware tub per person rule. I just gave my son his high school year books--well, first I thought my husband had mistakenly donated them to the Goodwill, so drove back to the Goodwill, etc. But I am passing stuff on, too. Catherine, I vote you give them the clothes they want to stay in the family--they can store them.

I have a dress that I remember my mom buying in 1968 to go to a New Years party. It is a fabulous black velvet mini dress. I figure her great- granddaughters can wear it to a high school dance. But that's the only clothing I have from her house.

I have gotten rid of so much of my family sentimental stuff. It may be time for them to take over this storage role--they probably have more room than you do! I figure whoever has room to store it gets first dibs, then its out.

But it was important to me to have some things from their house and I actually have a lot of small things, like a footstool that was my grandmother's, the photos and letters, my favorite rock from our acquarium when I was a kid, my dad's duck decoy--not ready to get rid of that level of things yet but probably will be at some point. But the bulk of it went to my sons and niece and nephew.

[Teacher Terry]

I have given my kids the items they wanted with the exception of a few antiques that I am using. I gave my Dil some of my gold and diamond jewelry. I could quickly declutter any hobby club’s junk if I was in charge:)).