Article: Minimalism is Neat But Clutter Makes a Home

[catherine]

This article in the Atlantic is a sweet reminder of why we can't get rid of some of our "clutter"--hope there's no paywall, and if there is, here are the two ending paragraphs that I think make the point:

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/07/sentimental-clutter-minimalism-memories/674663/


During one of my last visits to see my dad at his house, he gave us an antique wooden high chair from his childhood home. The thought that my dad, who looked taller than usual reclined in bed, had once sat in this tiny chair was baffling. We took it home for my daughter, who had just started eating solid foods. Several days later, my dad was gone. The high chair was still there.

Most of my relations, my father included, did not lead particularly big lives. Their names are not carved into buildings or attached to scholarships. Only a handful of people think of them still, and one of those people is me. But their personal possessions remain and say: Someone was here. As I go about my day, folding laundry, or thinking through what needs to be done, my clutter reminds me of the people who have filled my life and, now, my apartment.

[Tybee]

Very eloquent, and yes, I get it! For me it's things like the brass monkeys that hung from my parents' dining room chandelier that hung from my grandparents' dining room chandelier and now hang from my dining room chandelier. I don't even know if they are attractive or what I would have chosen--they just are part of my childhood and so I love them.

[catherine]

Very eloquent, and yes, I get it! For me it's things like the brass monkeys that hung from my parents' dining room chandelier that hung from my grandparents' dining room chandelier and now hang from my dining room chandelier. I don't even know if they are attractive or what I would have chosen--they just are part of my childhood and so I love them.

Nice, Tybee. For me, it's my oft-referenced Aunt Florence's desk and my mother's hardy green rain slicker hanging on a peg in the mudroom.

[Teacher Terry]

When my mom was 16 during the depression she was a model for a woman artist. All the paintings sold except for one which she gave my mom as a wedding present. It now hangs in my guest bedroom. My dad was the first blue collar city councilman in Kenosha and no one ever defeated him. I have his badge, gavel and a book of newspaper clippings from his tenure. My kids want them but after they are gone no one will.

[early morning]

My kids want them but after they are gone no one will Not necessarily. I have quite a bit of rather mundane stuff of people I never knew - work id badges, old photos, mostly of people working - threshing crews, plowing, etc- hand carved or just well-worn wooden tools, spinning/weaving bits and bobs. I keep some, and sell more, so there are others out there who cherish this stuff of common lives. To me, these artifacts speak of ordinary people, living ordinary lives, and through them and a myriad of other tools, fabrics, objects, we pay homage to all who have gone before us. And on a practical note, a Kenosha area historical society might love to have your dad's councilman stuff, if your kids are interested in rehoming it at some point. I'm a clutter fan :|(. It's so much more visually interesting than minimalism, IMHO. YMMV.

[Tybee]

I am still kicking myself for getting rid of a 1936 Quebecois fishing license I burned on my dad's Jahrzeit fire, but I wanted to send him off with happy memories of the things he most loved to do.

But it was very cool. Next life, I will keep it!

[catherine]

In terms of people who don't care about things their forebears owned, I don't know why I'm obsessed with the responsibility of being a memory-keeper for people like my great-aunt, whose only child died at 3 years old, and who was "just a housewife" so there is no long obituary for her as there is for her husband, my uncle, who was a judge on the CT Supreme Court in the mid-20th century. I am literally the only person who really cares that she existed and the thought keeps me up at night. So I have her desk. I have her sepia photograph on my wall, and my kids know well what she meant to me. That's the only reason I keep certain things.. if there is no one to tell the stories of our ancestors, maybe a just a page in that story in the form of a photo or piece of furniture or jewelry will have to suffice.

[iris lilies]

Catherine, I don’t think individual people are all that important in the grand scheme of things. Each of us are important to ourselves and we need to value our life while it’s here on earth because no one else can be counted on to do that, and that is ok with me.

I don’t care if anyone remembers. they won’t, and that’s fine with me.

after you die, and your children die, no one will remember your aunt. So what? The earth will continue on, mother, nature will continue to do what mother nature does, that force is bigger than each one of us humans are. I think that’s nice, and I take comfort in it.

[rosarugosa]

This Instagram post made me think of this conversation:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cuwy_O2OxBv/

[catherine]

Catherine, I don’t think individual people are all that important in the grand scheme of things. Each of us are important to ourselves and we need to value our life while it’s here on earth because no one else can be counted on to do that, and that is ok with me.

I don’t care if anyone remembers. they won’t, and that’s fine with me.

after you die, and your children die, no one will remember your aunt. So what? The earth will continue on, mother, nature will continue to do what mother nature does, that force is bigger than each one of us humans are. I think that’s nice, and I take comfort in it.

I know, IL. If I still believed in a heaven where people hang out with their loved ones forever, I wouldn't even think about it. She's a legend in just my mind. But what I have decided to do is write up a short biographical story of her--kind of like an obituary, and post it on Ancestry.com where many people can "get to know her."

[catherine]

This Instagram post made me think of this conversation:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cuwy_O2OxBv/

Very cool idea.. I also like that site!

[rosarugosa]

Catherine: That is a wonderful idea!

[Tradd]

You can have mementos that aren’t clutter. There’s a balance.

[happystuff]

You can have mementos that aren’t clutter. There’s a balance.

I agree - there is a balance. I have an item or two from a person or two for sentimental/memories sake, but not someone's whole house! I know my kids don't want my stuff - *I* don't even want most of my stuff any more! (Yes. i'm working to get rid of it - LOL)

And I sort of agree with IL - I don't "need" to be remembered into the future by anyone. I'm not looking to "make my mark" on the world in any grandiose manner. If someone remembers me at all, I hope it is because I was kind to them in some way that may have made a difference to them. Even if it was just to make them smile or laugh or something just as fleeting.