Medical POA's

[ToomuchStuff]

For those of you thinking about it, you all know my situation.
Well, today was the first day I tested negative for Covid, thinking that I picked it up at the hospital visiting "the idiot".
I just left the shop after scanning in and mailing to his sibling a copy of his Medical POA as the first person on it, is "ti's" girlfriend. She turns off her phone, when she goes to bed and generally it doesn't come on before 2 in the afternoon. On top of that she is now beside herself with things being asked.
The secondary person on it, was the guy who was supposed to be my business partner, and backed out, when he realized that he would have to step up, as well as wanting out of the POA, since he found out what all "ti" had done to screw me over, as well as not letting him have any idea of what medically he was going through.
So I sent "ti's" brother a copy of it, which the hospital should have (considered the worst hospital in the area, yet ti loves it), so he has contact information for POA 3.

Please make sure your all's POA's take this stuff, and are emotionally equipped to take this stuff, seriously.

[rosarugosa]

I wonder what happens if all POAs decline to step up. Does the court appoint someone in the medical system?

[ToomuchStuff]

Well, in this case, there were boxes on his form where he approved some stuff, and didn't want others. What he wanted had to be initialed.
That appears to be what they are going by, they discontinued Dialysis this morning.

[ToomuchStuff]

I wonder what happens if all POAs decline to step up. Does the court appoint someone in the medical system?

What did you want to be as a kid/be careful what you wish for......

Five and under, I wanted to work in the funeral home, with my grandfather (free soda was all I knew, plus Grandpa).

Well, today, "ti" decided not to go to dialysis, after falling on the transport bus on Monday and having the fire department come and pick him up. He fell twice last week and was on the floor for around 20 hours between the two, because of course, living alone, against doctor's orders and POA not being there or answering their phone.
So dialysis calls him and gets no answer. They call the POA and get no answer. So then (unbeknownst to me, now listed as emergency contact) they call me and request I do a welfare check on him, instead of the next POA, or the police.
To whom do I send the bill? Dealt with finding my grandmothers body, Steve's body, and now being expected to deal with "ti's" body?

When indeed, does the social worker request court supervision?

[bae]

I just sat down with my Mom and her attorney last week to sign hers.

Unbelievably complex instructions to follow and advocate for, for many different situations.

At first I figured the level of detail was because of Mom being a nurse, but it turned out many of the items were to deal with the practices of the Catholic healthcare monopoly that has bought up most of the healthcare providers and hospitals over on the mainland in the region.

[Rogar]

I've had medical POA for end of life decisions twice. Both had a living will with end of life medical directives. I'd hope anyone else has better situations, but as much as a person gets in black and white, and those things are indeed helpful, there are important things that just can't be covered before hand. In one case, the POA document was locked in a safe deposit box I had trouble accessing. The person involved was fortunately cognizant enough to verbally give me POA and place an "X" in the hospital with a doctor and social worker as witnesses. I asked what would happen if the person was not conscious or able to answer and no POA. I would definitely fact check this, but the hospital response was that it would be a consensus of relatives and close friends, which seems rather vague and an opportunity for major arguments.

One would only hope everyone at least has a living will with end of life directives even if they have not designated people for POA. I'm just going to speculate that without a POA and no one willing to step forward, that the doctors would follow the living will as best possible and make the decisions? Or maybe the court would appoint a medical expert? If anyone knows differently, I'd be curious.

It's a difficult task.

[Tybee]

This makes me think I should give a copy of mine to my son who is backup POA if my husband is not available. Duh.

[happystuff]

I guess I need to add this to my list of to-do's. Thanks for the reminders/stories, everyone.

[catherine]

I guess I need to add this to my list of to-do's. Thanks for the reminders/stories, everyone.

Yeah, me too.

[iris lilies]

We did all that POA stuff with an attorney when we did our will and our trust. But these documents are somewhat general unless one gets very very specific, so I look at it as a useful conversation with DH as much as my actual codified wishes. There are so many medical decisions, nuanced, that a document will not specifically cover.

My general sentiment:

1st goal: no pain

2nd goal: speed along a hasty death, do not drag it on

[Tybee]

We did all that POA stuff with an attorney when we did our will and our trust. But these documents are somewhat general unless one gets very very specific, so I look at it as a useful conversation with DH as much as my actual codified wishes. There are so many medical decisions, nuanced, that a document will not specifically cover.

My general sentiment:

1st goal: no pain

2nd goal: speed along a hasty death, do not drag it on

The 3 I have been involved with in Maine--one was a PULST for my mother, outlined what we wanted and did not want and was pretty specific. It was the form provided by the hospital, not by the attorney. They notarized it at the hospital both times we did them there before operations, and they filed it in the electronic records, or at least they said they did. It went over things like life support, hydration, anti-biotics, care if you had dementia, etc. It's good to use theirs and talk it over specifically with the person you are appointing POA so they know what you want.