View Full Version : The update
ToomuchStuff
5-9-25, 11:53am
Last week had an issue, felt like a blockage and my symptoms were similar to when my cancer, so after contacting the doctors office, they wanted me to go to the emergency room.
I did have a blockage, but it wasn't what I was expecting. Left kidney (some sort of tube), blocked in one area, partially blocked in another. Now I have a bag on that side. CT scan showed blockage and showed the cancer had expanded. Monday going in for pet scan to show exactly how much expansion, as I am expecting to hopefully estimate my time left.
Stopped my non working chemo and they are putting me on something pretty new (approved by the FDA in the last month, the week before they got their information on it, looks like I may be the first person in the KC area to be on it, so no one knows what to expect).
Medical POA done, and filed with multiple places. Beneficiary deeds being finished today. Talked with who I adopted the cats from and his sibling has sobered up/been in treatment. They would be happy to take the cats back, and I think the cats would adapt easier to their prior owner. My sister would love them, but her husband and one kid are allergic.
Next week I hope to get the vehicles TOD done.
Been working on the will, next week will start giving some of the stuff out/away. Some will happen after I am gone, but trying to make life easier for those I leave behind.
I am expecting 6 to 9 months left, hopefully mostly good.
Working on the ownership of the restaurant stuff, but fighting with the idiot as he keeps thinking he has a clue of what is going on, and has been out for more then a year now (and not stepped foot in the place). He calls expecting us to close to physically pick him up and carry him into dialysis. He has been kicked out of all his ride shares, because he can't physically get himself up or down.
If I disappear for a bit, I am just trying to get stuff done. Not being able to drive, means I need help and will have to be available on other peoples schedules, and I am grateful for the help. My hospital stay, we determined that my pain scale is so far out of whack from a normal person, that my 1, would be a normal persons 5-7. My 8 from two weeks ago, and my family said they would be dead. They have me taking pain meds to keep things under control and now I am able to walk, without a walker, not having to use a wheelchair at the doctor's office. I may be able to drive again in a couple of weeks, that will speed things along for me.
Oh, so are you getting the new immunotherapy combination that was just approved very recently?? That's wonderful. I know you don't need more stringing along in this arduous journey, but I'm praying that the new treatment provides you with some relief, however you want it to come.
iris lilies
5-9-25, 1:23pm
I am very glad you have laid out your thoughts about the path forward in the next several months. Thank you for keeping us informed. I hope your discomfort and pain is managed in the next few months.
p.s. I LOVE you for your legacy plan for the cats.
Thank you so much for the update, it is much appreciated. Praying for your comfort and peace, and the new treatment sounds very good. Also happy they figured out your pain conundrum, as you should be living pain free as much as possible.
Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you’re feeling somewhat better and getting stuff done. Good thoughts your way.
Admiring your practical attitude towards the difficult position you find yourself in. I am certain we are inpired by your journey.
I too admire your practical approach to this time. You really make me think.
Wishing you much peace.
rosarugosa
5-10-25, 6:13am
Thanks for the update, and I hope the new treatment is successful. Good for you for taking care of business and tying up loose ends.
littlebittybobby
5-11-25, 12:08am
okay---hang in there, TMS. I'm hoping them MDs are wrong. O'course--in Zurra, there's THE best medicine, and that's the power o' prayer. So, I sending them. Yup. Hope that helps ya some.
ToomuchStuff
5-13-25, 3:22pm
Deed's done
Got the other owner to resign off the board, so I can move forward with both the licensing and ownership stuff.
Doctor's office appointment moved to this afternoon, telehealth (only my second one of those). Thursday going to work at residence and maybe old house to get vehicle titles.
Tomorrow, education on new cancer treatment, hope to get scan results, so I can get an estimate if it doesn't work, how long I have left.
Got help, brought over Blackstone I bought last year when it looked like I was going to beat this thing. Assembled and looking forward to using this weekend..
Thinking I may go ahead with the cat transfer sooner then later, kind of making me depressed, as I enjoy them.
Family is backing off a bit as they have been stating the obvious and pissing me off (yes I know I need to do x, y, z, and there are reasons while I am doing things in an order). Once they see WHY I do things in a certain order, they understand, but not before.
frugal-one
5-13-25, 5:41pm
Hoping everything falls easily into place for you. You are truly an inspiration…..
happystuff
5-14-25, 7:40am
Thanks for the update, TMS. Amazed at your attitude, determination and common sense! Still sending prayers and positive energies.
early morning
5-14-25, 8:29am
what happystuff and frugal-one said. hoping the remainder of your journey in this life is as easy and pain-free as is possible. and if it were me, i'd keep the cats with me as long as i could. scraps of joy are still joy.
ToomuchStuff
5-15-25, 12:29pm
Everybody is having an issue figuring out the name of the new medicine. We have modified it, based on how it it spelled, and just calling it "fruity" to make it simple. I am pretty sure I am the first person in KU's system to be on it in KC.
We don't know how I am going to react to it, or vise versa. Based on the trial people, if I don't get a positive reaction to it, I have somewhere between 1 month and 19 months left to live. Based on how I have turned around being on pain killers, we expect more towards the 19 then the 1, heck I might be able to drive again, soon. I can walk without a walker, although I am taking it for places that are large, so if I need to sit down, I have a seat. (had to sit down on the floor in the middle of the grocery store, before moving into parents)
I could be back at home sooner then later, so starting back on giving away stuff.
Everybody is having an issue figuring out the name of the new medicine. We have modified it, based on how it it spelled, and just calling it "fruity" to make it simple. I am pretty sure I am the first person in KU's system to be on it in KC.
We don't know how I am going to react to it, or vise versa. Based on the trial people, if I don't get a positive reaction to it, I have somewhere between 1 month and 19 months left to live. Based on how I have turned around being on pain killers, we expect more towards the 19 then the 1, heck I might be able to drive again, soon. I can walk without a walker, although I am taking it for places that are large, so if I need to sit down, I have a seat. (had to sit down on the floor in the middle of the grocery store, before moving into parents)
I could be back at home sooner then later, so starting back on giving away stuff.
That sounds very very hopeful to me!! Yay!
Thanks for the update. Good thoughts continue.
Everybody is having an issue figuring out the name of the new medicine. We have modified it, based on how it it spelled, and just calling it "fruity" to make it simple. I am pretty sure I am the first person in KU's system to be on it in KC.
Yeah, those names can be really hard to remember!! I do know of some recent approvals, but I'm not sure any of them sound like "fruity." However, the new targeted therapies are showing terrific promise. To your point, results are very individual, but I'm praying that you get positive results from it.
ToomuchStuff
5-15-25, 3:02pm
I do know of some recent approvals, but I'm not sure any of them sound like "fruity."
Fruquintinib
Watching them all use that or the trademark, Fruzaqla, we laughed when I said why don't we call it fruity, and they all liked that as so much easier to remember/say, and then we all knew what we were talking about.
Medicate smarter, not harder, LOL
ToomuchStuff
6-25-25, 5:44pm
Monday, I found out that Tim had a Durable power of Attorney that allowed me to sign his name, and that would have been handy when he had the accident and became disabled. I was going to him to get a signature when I and he could. Of course he threw his copy away, along with some of the corporate records I had wisely copied. (also got copies from his brothers estate that the siblings signed off on the restaurant)
I also ended up with a copy of the will and a (don't know the proper name) avoid probate document. In one of several documents, I found out that his "girlfriend" (stepkids, siblings, and most others refer to her as golddigger), was the primary executor, (changed from his middle stepson at one point), then her son, then me. There is only one thing that has to go through probate, because he kept failing to do it, claiming it was his brothers responsibility. I expect to have to deal with it.
Celebration of life was Monday, lots of stories, some people don't realize showed how petty and narcissistic he could be. I got to be middleman between the above mentioned groups, and at least got an idea of what my exit will be like (knowing the same people for 40 years). I am a bit shocked, because I always figured either nobody will show to mine, or it will be people wanting to know where my remains are to piss on my grave (already have it in my speech that mom should sell tickets to that location).
I passed along a copy of his will to his middle stepkid who was at one point the executor, Tuesday. The older one who has been a problem child/adult (what about me?), is coming over today to see me, as he was asking everyone about the will. (didn't even know I had it Monday, until after the COL). Thankfully, it went better then I anticipated as none of the family is talking to the executor, they are all going to/through me.
Dealing today also with liquor license renewals, which are modified by the death and had to get certificates, so expecting a busy week. Accountant left town early so expect them to be late due to the information I require from her.
Also working on (now that I am sole owner) giving up some ownership (retaining the majority, but in such a way that the three left behind could/can overrule me if I get bad). Everyone is asking about who (family, girlfriend, etc) can interfere with the business ownership. I have the paperwork that puts that to rest, but will be needing copies of the death certificate that I expect to have to file with several different agencies. They are also asking what is going to happen to it when I am gone, I am only telling them we are working on it and I won't say more until it is done, so no bad luck.
happystuff
6-26-25, 9:49am
I agree with Tradd's sentiment. I don't know how you have done or continue to do all that you have been doing, TMS. Still sending prayers and positive thoughts and energy your way.
ToomuchStuff
9-7-25, 9:20pm
All week I will have the Clash going through my head.....
https://youtu.be/xMaE6toi4mk?si=Knd0VhgoEaB3dvpr
Friday is my pet scan.
Been exhausted, unable to stay awake. Lots of pain lately, so I am not expecting a good result personally. Monday after is when I hear the results of the scan.
No matter which way it goes, I want to thank all of you for the support and laughs and such this place has brought.
iris lilies
9-7-25, 9:24pm
All week I will have the Clash going through my head.....
https://youtu.be/xMaE6toi4mk?si=Knd0VhgoEaB3dvpr
Friday is my pet scan.
Been exhausted, unable to stay awake. Lots of pain lately, so I am not expecting a good result personally. Monday after is when I hear the results of the scan.
No matter which way it goes, I want to thank all of you for the support and laughs and such this place has brought.
Awww TMS, you’re right it doesn’t sound good given how you are feeling. This is tragic and I’m sorry to hear it.
And that Clash song. Oof. But you should stay (but only if you can get free of pain and tiredness.)
All week I will have the Clash going through my head.....
https://youtu.be/xMaE6toi4mk?si=Knd0VhgoEaB3dvpr
Friday is my pet scan.
Been exhausted, unable to stay awake. Lots of pain lately, so I am not expecting a good result personally. Monday after is when I hear the results of the scan.
No matter which way it goes, I want to thank all of you for the support and laughs and such this place has brought.
Good thoughts and prayers your way for Friday.
Yes, this place is good for laughs and support.
Thinking of you this week, tms. Sending peace and strength.
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time of it, TMS. DH and I both know all too well what it's like waiting for those test results. Hoping for good results for you.
Same for me, TMS. Regardless of the test results, I just want to say how much I enjoy your participation in this forum and I hope for a good report on Monday, and also for relief from your pain and fatigue.
Everyone else has said it much better than I could. Hugs and prayers still going out to you. You are special and I appreciate knowing you.
Joining the rest in saying we will miss you, hoping for peaceful, painless times ahead.
TMS, your updates have been entertaining, regardless of the content. You have an awesome sense of humor. Peace to you.
What a great song. I have loved laughing with you these years, God bless you.
Sending virtual hugs your way!
ToomuchStuff
9-15-25, 6:31pm
In the background of my mind I hear......
https://youtu.be/rRrT37ruAtE?si=ZrMWZH13HucJXLx7
Bad news and starting hospice. So now is the time to get real serious about getting rid of too much stuff.
Be good to yourself and don't worry about the stuff if you can help it--listen to music and eat the food you like and visit and rest. Give away what you can and let the stuff take care of itself.
In the background of my mind I hear......
https://youtu.be/rRrT37ruAtE?si=ZrMWZH13HucJXLx7
Bad news and starting hospice. So now is the time to get real serious about getting rid of too much stuff.
Prayers for a peaceful end.
Maybe go with one of the removal services such as 800-GOT-JUNK to get rid of stuff.
iris lilies
9-15-25, 7:42pm
Be good to yourself and don't worry about the stuff if you can help it--listen to music and eat the food you like and visit and rest. Give away what you can and let the stuff take care of itself.
What good advice!
the stuff is just…stuff. if there are very special things you want to get into the hands of certain people, sure do that, but someone will take care of this stuff.
You took care of the cats and that is really great, thank you for that. Our pets are not “stuff.”
happystuff
9-15-25, 8:24pm
Continued prayers, positive thoughts and peaceful, gentle energies to you. I am so, so grateful for all you have so graciously shared of yourself. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
I agree that it may be time to deal with the special things for those who are special to you, but then just forget about the "stuff". It's time to treat yourself special.
rosarugosa
9-16-25, 6:33am
I am so sorry that you did not get good news. I agree with what others have said about the stuff, unless it provides a welcome distraction to focus on. I wish you peace and comfort.
Like the others, I wish you deep peace, TMS. Hugs to you.
I wish peace for you, TMS, in whatever way that can come to you. Stuff or no stuff-dealing.
TMS, will you have your executor let us know when you've passed on?
TMS, will you have your executor let us know when you've passed on?
TMS and I came up with a notification plan 2 years ago, before he publicly posted his situation on the forums. Of course a direct notification from someone on his side would be faster, but even without there will be a notification when the time comes.
I think it is amazing (I've said it before) how close we are as a virtual community when we share so much with each other and care so much about each other without even knowing each other's names.
ToomuchStuff
9-17-25, 12:17am
Alan has the plan. Heck, if I can get a bunch of stuff done, quicker then I think I will be able to, I will need to ask him about an offer he made a long time ago, for something that will give me some enjoyment as i get bad.
Chemo has been wearing my bottom out. Sleeping a WHOLE lot, and a fair amount of pain. We have adjusted the pain meds and am hoping not being on Chemo will help me awaken more and be able to get stuff done. As is, my "executor", backed out from that, after having to work on him mothers pre estate. Person in charge of it embezzled from it and has left a mess for him to deal with. So he has been busy.
Separated lots of different aspects, to help move things along. May have found the life insurance I am expecting on my old boss/coowner. Awaiting more info on that or the check (don't know the amount), but parents greed showing, which complicates things for me. Business stuff almost done, should be finished very soon. Also working on the income/disability/profit sharing/health insurance stuff, trying to get everything in order as disability starts soon. (trying to stay about the same income for a few more months while I deal with estate/garage sales/then house sales, etc).
Cars should be happening soon (couple of phone calls being made both for and by me in the next few days). The next three weeks should be extremely busy for me, so I kind of expect to be intermittently on here.
Before I get to the that bad stage, I will be naming my restaurant, as I am trying to get back control of the facebook page (former employee issue), so everybody will get updated when I pass. Family/executor will have enough stuff to deal with, rather then places I enjoy on the web, that they know nothing about, nor do they need to.
Thanks all
Oh, TMS you are giving us a great lesson in how to go about things. How kind of you to share this journey. I am so sorry you need to do it...
happystuff
9-17-25, 8:11am
I too am amazed, grateful, speechless of how much you are doing and the way/amount you have been openingly sharing this journey with us. Sending you more prayer and energies to help with whatever you need.
early morning
9-17-25, 10:10am
TMS, wishing you only the best of everything as you continue on your journey. You are such an inspiration to us. Others have said it so much better than I - but bless you, thank you, and may peace - and the Force- be with you.
All week I will have the Clash going through my head.....
https://youtu.be/xMaE6toi4mk?si=Knd0VhgoEaB3dvpr
Friday is my pet scan.
Been exhausted, unable to stay awake. Lots of pain lately, so I am not expecting a good result personally. Monday after is when I hear the results of the scan.
No matter which way it goes, I want to thank all of you for the support and laughs and such this place has brought.
This song popped up on my car radio as I was driving back home from, ironically, a cancer conference. Just wanted to say it made me think of you, TMS, and hoping you're not in too much pain today.
ToomuchStuff
9-28-25, 3:07pm
Posting this because everybody feared it was much closer then thought.
Came into the hospital again thursday, as I was in a huge amount of pain. Hospital short staffed, and I couldn't stay away. After about four hours, admitted and discussion happened, we started pain management and had already set up Hospice to come out Monday night. On about six painkillers, including morphine, which friends did towards the end. Fingers numb, Ostomy, very hard and felt quite the blockage. It was questionable if I was going to make it.
Expect to be in the hospital a couple more days, but not expecting at this point more then a couple weeks.
iris lilies
9-28-25, 4:15pm
TMS wishing you a peaceful journey to the next place.
Fare thee well, my friend
Thank you for being a significant part of our little band of like-minded simple-livers with a long history of sharing and caring for each other. (((Hugs)))
All my wishes for peace and comfort. Bless you, TMS.
rosarugosa
9-29-25, 6:16am
I'm so sorry for the pain. I hope they were able to alleviate it for you.
early morning
9-29-25, 11:24am
Thinking of you, TMS. Peace be with you.
happystuff
10-17-25, 3:11pm
Adding my prayers of comfort and peace for you, TMS.
gimmethesimplelife
10-30-25, 10:02pm
I didn't catch this thread until right now. I know that TMS and I have not always gotten along. But regardless I hope TMS is in a much better place and free of pain. Cancer is horrible, absolutely horrible. Rob
I didn't catch this thread until right now. I know that TMS and I have not always gotten along. But regardless I hope TMS is in a much better place and free of pain. Cancer is horrible, absolutely horrible. Rob
We don’t know he’s dead yet.
We don’t know he’s dead yet.
See my TooMuchStuff thread in the open forum. https://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?21231-TooMuchStuff
gimmethesimplelife
10-30-25, 10:06pm
We don’t know he’s dead yet.Fair enough. I wish him no pain and some joy and laughter if at all possible. Rob
Thanks, Alan. I hadn’t seen that yet.
gimmethesimplelife
10-30-25, 10:11pm
Thanks, Alan. I hadn’t seen that yet.Same here. Rob
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