View Full Version : Advice needed: Bunk house being delivered this week
As I mentioned in another thread, we have decided to allow DS and DDIL to build a little "bunkhouse" for when they come up. They are here roughly 10 nights out of the month--sometimes less, sometimes more. The house is within permitted range: 10x10 and will be sited where DH's tomato garden sat, tucked in a corner of our small plot and bound on one side by a fence/neighbor's lilacs, another by forsythia bushes, and shielded from sight on the front side by two other outbuildings. It is a cute little thing with a porch and window boxes. I am confident it won't be an eyesore.
But I am afraid to give my neighbors the heads-up because I don't want them to make comments, or judgments, or gossip. OTOH, do I owe them a heads up? If I tell them in advance, will that be more of a neighborly thing to do, or should I just do it with no apology? It is my property, after all. But when we got the camper, we intentionally told our next-door neighbor and got his rubber stamp on where it is sited.
My "best friend" up here was fishing for information because we have been cleaning out that corner and relocating the compost bin. She said, "I'm surprised you didn't take over that spot for your own garden." And I simply said "We may be doing something else with that spot." So when it comes on Thursday, she's going to know I simply chose not to tell her. DH is adamant that we don't say anything to anybody.
The kit is being delivered on Thursday.
What do you guys think?
It would depend entirely on my relationship with my neighbors.
My current neighbors on both sides, I tell them when I am leaving so they can keep an eye out on the place, and when I am expecting to have lots of company, so they can let me know if my guests are annoying them. We work together on neighborhood cleanup and safety projects, and have keys to each others homes (though, homes here are rarely locked).
My neighbors in other places I've lived, I would not mutter a hint of my personal business to.
It would depend entirely on my relationship with my neighbors.
My current neighbors on both sides, I tell them when I am leaving so they can keep an eye out on the place, and when I am expecting to have lots of company, so they can let me know if my guests are annoying them. We work together on neighborhood cleanup and safety projects, and have keys to each others homes (though, homes here are rarely locked).
My neighbors in other places I've lived, I would not mutter a hint of my personal business to.
Yeah, there's the rub. We have had a great relationship with the neighbors, in exactly the same ways you mentioned--consideration, working together, mutual aid. But there is one neighbor in particular that DH had a falling out with, and it has created a little animosity. And the "best friend" I mentioned in the post is his partner. So if this had come up last year, I'd definitely tell everyone in advance. But now I'm not sure.
Yeah, there's the rub. We have had a great relationship with the neighbors, in exactly the same ways you mentioned--consideration, working together, mutual aid. But there is one neighbor in particular that DH had a falling out with, and it has created a little animosity. And the "best friend" I mentioned in the post is his partner. So if this had come up last year, I'd definitely tell everyone in advance. But now I'm not sure.
Why does he not want you to say something? This would make me uncomfortable since I am close to the neighbor and she is my friend. How does he plan to handle it when the bunkhouse goes up?
Other question is how big can it be before you need a permit, and are within all the legal requirements? Do you have a HOA?
Is this a tiny house? I want to see a photo of the model online!
frugal-one
8-19-25, 7:07pm
Could also be an “office” where you are writing your book when not occupied by kids?
Why does he not want you to say something? This would make me uncomfortable since I am close to the neighbor and she is my friend. How does he plan to handle it when the bunkhouse goes up?
Yeah, I know. I think he's suspicious that the neighbor will raise a stink of some kind. I agree that he might, although I would rather be above board. However, technically it's none of anybody's business because it really doesn't impact anyone. And to the point about the permit, we don't need one for any outbuilding under 100 sq. ft. and there are no other restrictions, other than it cannot be attached to the main dwelling.
But even though it's nobody's business, I do feel it's common courtesy to let our neighbors know, especially since we're so close to each other (physically close).
Could also be an “office” where you are writing your book when not occupied by kids?
Haha! You have the right idea. I use the camper for that purpose!
Is this a tiny house? I want to see a photo of the model online!
I actually don't have the link, because I didn't purchase it, but I do have a picture from the kit specification list.
6476
I actually don't have the link, because I didn't purchase it, but I do have a picture from the kit specification list.
6476
That's like a yard barn--no biggie.
iris lilies
8-19-25, 9:52pm
Catherine, don’t worry about it. Your neighbors WILL talk about it or “gossip”. It will be fine, it is cute.
rosarugosa
8-20-25, 6:40am
I would probably tell my neighbors if we had a friendly relationship, but you certainly know the relationship dynamics better than I do.
I would probably tell my neighbors if we had a friendly relationship, but you certainly know the relationship dynamics better than I do.
Is it the size of it or is it the extra people coming to use it? If you ordered that as a writing shed, you wouldn't tell them, would you? I'm just thinking through this as it is very small and attractive. If I had that as a writing shed, would I tell my neighbor? Is it the structure itself or the use of it that you would want to tell them about?
I am shielded by a ton of trees and acres from my neighbor and he still complained that I put up a fence on my side yard so my dogs wouldn't bark at everything walking by, because he claims it interferes with his view of the lake. But it's all trees, so I thought it was pretty bogus. He's a nice guy, but I never would have cleared that with anybody, given the amount of trees between us and the lake anyway.
I wouldn't be happy about not being able to tell her, though, since she is my friend. But it's legal and attractive.
Is it the size of it or is it the extra people coming to use it?
Both in a way. We already have three outbuildings (used as storage) on our property, so they may view this as excessive. And they might not like the fact that it adds to the part-time population. The community skews old--the only other full-timer couple is our age. I'm not worried about them much because we get along very well and we see the benefit in continuing a good relationship.
Of the summer people, one couple is our age, and two are in their 50s/60s. But we're known to have the most family parties because three of my kids live nearby. So having a bunkhouse might suggest more activity and more noise (which would not be the case. It wouldn't add to their presence here at all. They work during the week).
The "friend" I mentioned next door is particularly fussy about that, and other things. She often asks me to ask my son to turn down music, although the music is never loud, and is never played past 9pm. As another indication of her fussiness, she bought "Drive Slow" signs that she posted on the road because she complains about the speed at which one of our other neighbors drives in and out.
happystuff
8-20-25, 9:32am
That is so cute, catherine! Personally, if you don't tell them in advance, I'm sure they will be out to see what is going on when construction starts. I would just say something like "Yes, this sort of just happened and we couldn't say no. It fits out of the way of everyone and everything, and will be so helpful and functional for my writing and maybe even the kids' visits!" I would say be "excited", as it is normally hard for people to rain on your parade to your face.
Personally, I really do like it!!! Congrats!
I love your suggestion, happystuff! That's exactly what I'll say! I always have to practice NOT being apologetic for everything I do!!
Keep us posted on putting up the bunk house! How big is the kit?
Keep us posted on putting up the bunk house! How big is the kit?
I have to admit, I have anxiety over this (beyond the neighbor part).. the kit comes in a lot of pieces. Right now it's on a tractor-trailer which will have to navigate down our little dirt path, which has no through-way back to the main road. He'll have to back up. We are going to have to take the stuff off the truck ourselves, so I'm going to call on my son-in-law to help. Then it will have to be piled up in our yard until the handyman we hired comes to put it up. We estimate that it will take 2 days to put together, but the instructions made me cross-eyed. I'm sure it makes sense for a builder, though. At least I hope so.
Tomorrow the gravel comes in, which you have to have to level the area and provide drainage. We'll have to walk wheelbarrows full of gravel around the house to the site--4" covering a 11x16 space. I'm far from a neat freak, but I can't stand to see the yard in disarray, so I hope that's kept to a minimum, and that it cleans up well after all is said and done.
I'll keep you posted!
I have to admit, I have anxiety over this (beyond the neighbor part).. the kit comes in a lot of pieces. Right now it's on a tractor-trailer which will have to navigate down our little dirt path, which has no through-way back to the main road. He'll have to back up. We are going to have to take the stuff off the truck ourselves, so I'm going to call on my son-in-law to help. Then it will have to be piled up in our yard until the handyman we hired comes to put it up. We estimate that it will take 2 days to put together, but the instructions made me cross-eyed. I'm sure it makes sense for a builder, though. At least I hope so.
Tomorrow the gravel comes in, which you have to have to level the area and provide drainage. We'll have to walk wheelbarrows full of gravel around the house to the site--4" covering a 11x16 space. I'm far from a neat freak, but I can't stand to see the yard in disarray, so I hope that's kept to a minimum, and that it cleans up well after all is said and done.
I'll keep you posted!
It sounds like it will be worth it at the end but wow, that's a process!! I hate it when things get disrupted, so I'm always putting off house projects just for that reason.
happystuff
8-22-25, 8:10am
I still think it sounds very exciting, catherine! There may be some "mess and to-do", but you know that won't last and it will be beautiful in the end!
I know you do not need a permit but have you checked out the zoning requirements for accessory structures on your property? My husband just read me an article from here about someone with 4 acres and 4 rvs and the town is trying to shut them down and make them remove the rvs. Something to do with density, septic field?? But that is different than yours because they are living there year round.
catherine - how is the bunk house going? Done? Cute?
catherine - how is the bunk house going? Done? Cute?
Actually, things are moving along at a reasonable pace!! And I no longer have anxiety over it--only excitement.
1) The neighbors: For the most part, they know, and they've implied "approval"--or at least benign interest. The neighbor I was most concerned about suggested wall heaters and other conveniences that could be added. Other neighbors have simply been "neighborly" about it, asking about it in the context of small talk. So that's out of the bag and all good.
2) The gravel came, and my DS/DDIL spent a day carting it to the site and leveling it off. She is a horticulturalist, so she also gently pruned the apple tree and lilac that are adjacent to it.
3) The house came a week or so ago on a truck, but while we thought we'd have to unload it ourselves piecemeal, it came in two very well-packed bundles and the truck driver unloaded it with a pallet jack, so that also was no problem.
4) Our handyman/builder is coming Saturday to put it together. I'm actually psyched especially now, after this weekend. We had the family up for yet another summer birthday party. (I think a few members of the family have reason to be "thankful" at Thanksgiving for certain things on certain years because we have a TON of summer birthdays. Cold nights, warm hearts?)
So Saturday night, camper was full, our two bedrooms were full, and then I got up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and the dog was taking up the whole couch and my BIL was sleeping in our club chair. I had to get up at 6am for interviews, which I wound up doing on Zoom in my mudroom. So YES, I am looking forward to the extra space!!
Thanks for asking!
Wonderful news--remember to post photos and so glad about the neighbors!
iris lilies
9-9-25, 8:34am
Catherine, good news. Sounds like it will all come together just fine.
Wonderful, catherine! I'm excited for you and can't wait to see some pics as well.
OK! The kids' "tiny house" is done! They love it, and even the neighbors have given it a thumbs up because it's so cute. What do you guys think?
65376538
iris lilies
9-28-25, 9:51am
OK! The kids' "tiny house" is done! They love it, and even the neighbors have given it a thumbs up because it's so cute. What do you guys think?
65376538
perfect! So cute!
rosarugosa
9-28-25, 2:02pm
Very cute! It looks so tiny though. What is it big enough to hold?
Very cute! It looks so tiny though. What is it big enough to hold?
Yes, it's small--a little less than 8x10, but my office is 8x10 and it holds a futon (folds out full), a file cabinet, desk, standing shelves, and chair.
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