Irrational anger at “stuff”

[iris lilies]

This is something I could see a therapist about.

While many people will sympathize with the idea that having too much crap in our lives is stultifying, the same people will not reach my level of nearly white hot anger when crap enters their lives unbidden. Why is this such a trigger for me? Ugh. Mine is outside the norm of reasonable reactions.

oh, I know the answer rationally: it’s because I feel disrespected because my neat orderly life is tipped over into chaos with this dumb junk. The dumb junk has to sit around my clean, organized home until I figure out what to do with it. It invades my space. It takes my valuable time on earth to think about it and deal with it.

It upsets my illusionary idea of “control “in my life.

There I have just psychoanalyzed myself. See? But that didn’t reduce my resentment of crap entering my life. So far, I don’t really get mad at the people who do it. I just am temporarily irritated with the action of their gifting. But my friends who give me stuff are nice and thoughtful people, I like them.They know not what they do and they mean well.

if anyone runs across good articles or podcast about this issue, let me know. I don’t want general articles that sympathize with the thought “too much stuff in life weighs us down. “ I know that. I would like thought pieces about why physical objects make us mad. I wish Ultralight was here. Maybe I will signal him to come and talk about this.

[catherine]

Msybe it's increased sensitivity to environmental stimuli as we get older? At least that's what happened to me. Noise is noisier now. I have never been a neat freak, but my tolerance for an untidy kitchen has definitely diminished. I have also found that even watching shows like American Pickers gives me anxiety.

[iris lilies]

Msybe it's increased sensitivity to environmental stimuli as we get older? At least that's what happened to me. Noise is noisier now. I have never been a neat freak, but my tolerance for an untidy kitchen has definitely diminished. I have also found that even watching shows like American Pickers gives me anxiety.

I will chew on this. So it may be part of my “just getting older and less tolerant” . Hmmm, maybe. But I do remember dreading Christmases as much as 15 years ago. Of course
then I was “old “too.

And the noise is pretty awful. I stepped into a restaurant/bar a couple nights ago and it was super crowded and absolutely horrific in noise level. I’m glad I am old and rich and I can pay for nice restaurant experiences that do not include cacaphony. Please give me a quiet, white tablecloth experience, not jovial bar experience,.

This reminds me I need to contact the new white tablecloth experience in the nearby town to discuss a menu that DH can handle.

[frugal-one]

This is something I could see a therapist about.

While many people will sympathize with the idea that having too much crap in our lives is stultifying, the same people will not reach my level of nearly white hot anger when crap enters their lives unbidden. Why is this such a trigger for me? Ugh. Mine is outside the norm of reasonable reactions.

oh, I know the answer rationally: it’s because I feel disrespected because my neat orderly life is tipped over into chaos with this dumb junk. The dumb junk has to sit around my clean, organized home until I figure out what to do with it. It invades my space. It takes my valuable time on earth to think about it and deal with it.

It upsets my illusionary idea of “control “in my life.

There I have just psychoanalyzed myself. See? But that didn’t reduce my resentment of crap entering my life. So far, I don’t really get mad at the people who do it. I just am temporarily irritated with the action of their gifting. But my friends who give me stuff are nice and thoughtful people, I like them.They know not what they do and they mean well.

if anyone runs across good articles or podcast about this issue, let me know. I don’t want general articles that sympathize with the thought “too much stuff in life weighs us down. “ I know that. I would like thought pieces about why physical objects make us mad. I wish Ultralight was here. Maybe I will signal him to come and talk about this.

I know what you mean about well-meaning friends. One such gave me a bunch of sh!t and told me where in my house it could go. I thanked her but said I have my house just the way I want it and will not be redecorating. I told her please don’t give me stuff. Just be my friend, time with you means more to me than things. Surprisingly, she has been reaching out to me more and will send well wishes on special days rather than gift me with things I don’t want.

[pinkytoe]

I think my excess stuff makes me feel angry or unsettled because it steals my time to even have to think about it. It also irks me when an object requires another thing to make it work - a thing for your thing. As I get older and the world seems crazier, creating calm at home is more important. I always enjoyed reading Down to Earth from the Australian blogger because she had simplified her home and domestic life in a way that seemed to promote order and calmness. Sadly, she wrote her final post this past summer.

[KayLR]

I think my excess stuff makes me feel angry or unsettled because it steals my time to even have to think about it. It also irks me when an object requires another thing to make it work - a thing for your thing. As I get older and the world seems crazier, creating calm at home is more important. I always enjoyed reading Down to Earth from the Australian blogger because she had simplified her home and domestic life in a way that seemed to promote order and calmness. Sadly, she wrote her final post this past summer.

Oh, I loved Rhonda Hetzel! I hope she enjoys her lovely life post-blog. I gleaned a lot from her. I hope her old posts will still be available to re-visit.

[rosarugosa]

Yes, Rhonda was delightful. I must have learned about her from you guys.

[catherine]

I saw my eight old college friends last week on our annual reunion. One of them gave me (and I assume each of us) a very nice gift--a hand-blown pumpkin from a local artisan. But it just doesn't fit. It's quite ornate, and everything else in my small house is simply designed natural wood and pottery. I was thinking, "I guess I have to make this work."

In particular, I hate getting wall art as gifts because I have far from enough wall space for the stuff that I love but dont' have room for. The other annoying thing about getting home decor gifts is that you know when they come over they're going to be looking for it in your house. When people ask me what I want for my birthday, I always say, "No wall art."

[frugal-one]

I appreciate clutterless gifts … food, activities, etc.

[frugal-one]

I appreciate clutterless gifts … food, activities, etc.

[Rogar]

Maybe there is a category of gift giving that benefits the giver more than the recipient.

I'm no fan of useless clutter, low quality things of little functional or esthetic value, conspicuous consumption, and other things that don't enhance my life. It's especially concerning when you take the time and effort to declutter and then others pile on more to declutter. I can get very angry about it, too. Although I don't think it is any sort of abnormal psychosis. It's other people have have problems

A few months ago a read the book, Atomic Habits. I may do review. It had some good suggestions for behavior modifications that I could put to use for other issues, although most of the suggestions tend toward common sense and just require some discipline.

I do think there is some value in maintaining some chaos in their household and belongings. Organization requires some time sacrifices.

[Tradd]

I appreciate clutterless gifts … food, activities, etc.

Oh, yes!

Iris, I am totally with you on the unbidden stuff entering my life. Peeves me off. I pitch or give it away.

[iris lilies]

I saw my eight old college friends last week on our annual reunion. One of them gave me (and I assume each of us) a very nice gift--a hand-blown pumpkin from a local artisan. But it just doesn't fit. It's quite ornate, and everything else in my small house is simply designed natural wood and pottery. I was thinking, "I guess I have to make this work."

In particular, I hate getting wall art as gifts because I have far from enough wall space for the stuff that I love but dont' have room for. The other annoying thing about getting home decor gifts is that you know when they come over they're going to be looking for it in your house. When people ask me what I want for my birthday, I always say, "No wall art."

are you really gonna make that pumpkin work,? That’s a sort of thing that a little more problematic than the cheap little crappy things I get because
If you do get rid of it, you have to be careful how it’s handled so it doesn’t be broken and then it’s probably nice enough that you get it into the hands of someone who you know will like it. But it can still go to a thrift store.

at today’s Iris meeting I got yet another useless thing, somebody gives me too many necklaces and I got another one from her. I don’t even wear necklaces. She does jewelry as a side job for a living. I just don’t want any more necklaces. So now I’m gonna tell her no more necklaces, please.

[Rogar]

When it comes to gift giving of things I don't use, I often think of the gift giver and the pleasure it might have given them to share.

[catherine]

Oh… More stuff today. Someone gave me a necklace. She gives me lots of necklaces. I don’t wear necklaces.


I just want these givers to stop

Gee, IL, you must have a lot of fans to be on the receiving end of so much stuff!

[iris lilies]

Gee, IL, you must have a lot of fans to be on the receiving end of so much stuff!
Some of it is garden club lady gestalt. Every time we do something in garden club such as judge a flower show. Accept a new office. Give a presentation. They have to give us crap in a little gift bag wrapped in tissue paper. so so annoying.

I wish garden club ladies would cut it out.

The necklaces come from someone who makes jewelry for a living as one of her income streams. These gifts seem to be paying me back for plants I give her. She doesn’t understand that I’m getting rid of plants that are in my way and are just clutter in my garden, so I’m excessively pleased when I can give them to somebody who will put them in the ground rather than composting them.

[pinkytoe]

I'm glad my garden club members just give each other seeds and starts. The one "thing" I apparently can't have enough of.

[iris lilies]

I'm glad my garden club members just give each other seeds and starts. The one "thing" I apparently can't have enough of.

in the last bag of garden club lady stuff there were several iris rhizomes and I laughed with the giver because I knew where they came from because I had helped her name that iris. Unfortunately they were quite dried up so I’m not gonna bother to put them in the ground, but if they had been fresher, I would’ve just added them to a clump I already have that particular Iris.

I will confess to being embarrassed about an incident where I actively avoided the head of a garden club who had left a message for me. She needed to put the gift into my hands. I didn’t want the gift. I avoided her because of it. She designated a henchman to track me down and put the gift into my hands. And I’m embarrassed because it was actually pretty great, a gift certificate to a garden center I’ve never been to and it is now my favorite garden center. So, I’m not always right.

speaking of seed exchanges, one of our neighbors works at tractor supply and they were throwing out their supply of summer seeds, the large packets of wildflower seeds. She brought them over to see if I wanted them and I didn’t, but she’s going to find a good home for them.

[iris lilies]

I attended a big garden club event yesterday at a nice country club. Here you will see the usual Garden Club Lady setting: gift bags with tissue paper wrapped junk inside.. I was actually taking a photograph of the table centerpiece I made and later noticed the ubiquitous sacks full o’crap.

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[iris lilies]

At the big garden club event yesterday there were sales tables where each garden club presented wares for sale. Tables of stuff, just stuff, and very few plants.

I dug a bunch of lily bulbs, Packaged them, marked them, and donated them. I was so pleased when they sold within 10 minutes.

meanwhile, the tables full of junk that no one wants sat around unsold… So imagine that, People want actual plants, and no one wants the crap you have to dust.

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[littlebittybobby]

okay---remember the female hitchikers in Five Easy Pieces, and how the tough one was so riled up about crap?(see photo)That was very(xxxx4444) entertaining. She seemed irrational, at the time. But in the context of this discussion, welp. But yeah---i been trying, for the last coupla days, ta figure out where i'm gonna store my newly-acquired 14022601 cores, till i use them on a project. Yup.6531