View Full Version : Diaper bags/diaper bag essentials.
Am I out of touch with the times, or are diaper bags still popular? Or, has the popularity of disposables (more or less) contributed to the demise of the once (got to have it) diaper bag? i.e. Toss diaper or two into car and go type thing (wipes in car all the time).
I was thinking about this today and curious as to what everyone did when it came to diaper bags (and packing). No/yes bag? Disposable wipes? Thermos of hot water and washcloths?
(I'm thinking in terms of simplicity related to cleaning baby up away from, and out of the home).
I was a thermos of hot water/baby washcloths type mom. Frugal, better/healthier/more comfortable for baby.
i wrote about this a bit in the "handbags" section.
first, i think that people are stoopid about baby stuff. like, they have way too much of everything you don't need.
In PA, here is what was popular among my friends:
1. you NEED a minivan. as soon as you get pregnant, go and get your minivan, because you are going to NEED it to haul your baby (who probably will weigh 7 or 8 lbs mind you) and moreso, your baby's STUFF. Make sure the minivan has all of those hidden compartments, because you'll want to store and extra case of dipes and wipes in there. yes, disposables.
2. you NEED a SUPER HUGE stroller. It needs to be very wide, very long, and very high. It needs to have very big jogging wheels, even though you don't jog. you store this in the back of your minivan, because it's the only way you get out of the house.
3. you NEED a 'pak-n-play' (or however it is spelled) and TWO if you have back problems, and possibly THREE if your child spends a lot of time at grandmas. One is for the minivan, in case you go to a friend's house and their place is not baby-crap heaven. because you'll need a changing table, a place to put the baby while it sleeps, and you'll need a container for it's tummy time while you chat. The second one stays at home, so that you don't have to carry it to and from the minivan when you are home, and the third one is for Grandma's house.
4. you NEED a *massive* diaper bag. The larger the bag, the better. It needs to be stuffed into the undercarriage basket on your massive stroller. It should hold about 70,000,000 things that you don't even know what they are, with a convenient front pocket for your wallet, keys, etc -- but of course, you've stuffed it full of other "necessary" items such as free tissue packets "just in case."
This diaper bag needs to hold several changes of clothes for the baby, and at least one for you "just in case" -- and then also the changing pad that you carry around, plus the grocery store basket cover, a blanket for playing outside or on the floor somewhere (if you can't take your pack-n-play there), your disinfecting wipes, your baby wipes, your hand sanitizer, your extra diapers, and there's a whole container side of it for your bottles, formula and spring water to mix with your formula. you might also keep your bottle warmer in there, because then you can just plug it in anywhere! This might be your second bottle warmer, or third, one kept at home and another kept in your car that uses your cigarette lighter to run.
5. you NEED a massive purse that carries your make up, your hand sanitizer, your fresh wipes, your calendar, your fancy cell phone, sun glasses, glasses case (if you have one), a notebook and pen, your HUGE wallet jam packed with god-knows-what, your photocopies of your baby's entire health record "just in case" and your keys -- of which you have about 70 and you don't know what more than 5 go to.
And you NEED a back pack with anything else that you might need when you are out and about, like books or a notebook or some such, and your gym gear.
seriously, moms look like pack mules in PA.
---
I used a Jessica Simpson large purple fake-croc bag that I got on sale. It's style-y. it has three compartments. COmpartment one was where I would fold DS's wrap. Compartment two held a cosmetics bag that had his change of diapers and a change of clothes for him. At first, I also carried wipes and some water, but as he got older and I got mroe adept with EC, I would just use some tp if he needed it. It's a much cleaner process. I also carried a small cosmetics bag that had my keys, cards, ids, and such. The third compartment held a book (whatever I was reading) and a notebook and pen. I would also put in my snacks and/or sack lunch.
I wanted everything to fit into a bag (and it is large, but not as huge as many diaper bags!), because I don't like to lug around multiple things. that makes me crazy, to be sure. Before I had a baby, it was a tote bag with book/notebook (if that), and keys, etc in my pockets.
anyway, yeah. I like to keep things simple. lol
bagelgirl
9-11-11, 12:30pm
Okay, I'm over 60 so new babies were over 35 years ago. But new granddaughter recently. Here is some of what has changed.
1. Daughter in law really didn't even know what a receiving blanket was. They are apparently pretty much no longer used. I couldn't figure this one out because we used them by the ton. But the newer baby blankets are much more washable than in the old days so I guess people don't feel the need to have a receiving blanket between baby and outer blanket.
2. Crib bumper pads are no-no now. They apparently are a health hazard for suffocation. In our day we were told to have the bumper pads so baby didn't get head stuck between slats (????) or face caught between slats and mattress. Things change.
3. Personally I have not met a young mom in years who uses washclothes. They use baby wipes by the ton.
4. I was told to start baby on cereal at two months. Now they wait much later than that to take baby off breast milk/formula.
5. And of course the big change is we were told to put baby in the crib on his/her stomach so they wouldn't choke if they spit up. Also so their head didn't get flat in the back. Now, it's put baby on back for safety reasons.
It's certainly interesting to find the new medical thinking. I feel very old and out of it when I check in with daughter in law.
domestic goddess
9-11-11, 1:06pm
Let's not be too hard on those who carry two or more big bags when they go out with baby. Sometimes baby may have a physical ailment which requires that special equipment be taken with when the family leaves the house with baby.
I work with children, most of whom have special needs. Some have to leave the house with not only the usual gear, but with an emergency bag to handle common emergencies, a suction machine, to manage an artificial airway, and sometimes a ventilator. Yes, it makes for a lot of "stuff", but these are necessary items for these children. I know families who "gear up" for a walk around the block, because they have seen horrible things happen to their children.
I also know people who really over do it, too. I found that I took less and less with me as time went on, and I became more comfortable. I always took a blanket, because we never owned a playpen, and they weren't very portable anyway. I breastfed, so that eliminated the need for any feeding supplies. I held dd while she slept, but if I did put her down for a reason, it was on a blanket on the floor. A clean shirt went with us, but rarely a whole outfit. If she soiled an entire outfit, then it was time to go home and take care of the problem. A couple of diapers and some wipes (I'm sorry to say that a thermos of water and a washcloth never occurred to me, and I tried to find ways not to use expensive wipes), and we were good to go. Later on, a couple of small toys or a board book to keep her amused, and that's about it. Sometimes we went out without much of anything and never lived to regret it.
Yes, I see new moms with diaper bags, and they seem to be bigger than ever. I think many will have back trouble later down the road because of them, too.
I have a backpack for a diaper bag and the bigger kids take turn being "backpack patrol" in my house. I keep two or three diapers in it, a small container of wipes, usually a couple of stainless steel water bottles for the older kids and some kind of snack. Usually trail mix or graham crackers. I keep other things I might need, like spare outfits, sweaters and a back-up supply of diapers and wipes in the van.
I'll cop to having a lot of the "unnecessary" baby items listed. I've got the minivan. I have four kids, so my family can't all fit in a smaller vehicle. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had one of those church vans. We go places with non-family members and it would be nice to just take one vehicle. I also like being able to haul things like building materials, craigslist finds, etc.
I've got a biggish stroller. It's a double stroller for babies #3 and #4, who are 2 years old and 5 months. We go out a lot and I don't especially feel like carrying both boys or chasing #3 all over creation. That kid is lucky he doesn't have a leash. :)
I have a pack and play. It's actually what baby #4 uses for a full-time crib. I am getting rid of the big crib. I like it because it can come with us when we travel. Because it's where baby normally sleeps around here, they go down easier because it is familiar. I forgot it on our trip to Indiana and I didn't sleep much at all that trip and James (#3, who was the baby at that time) barely napped. I can't honestly see why this would be considered stupid. Not everyone bed shares. If you don't bed share it makes sense to have a safe place for baby to sleep, especially at places like friend's houses or Grandma's house, which might not be child proofed. My kids are often quiet when they first wake up and could get into a lot of trouble in a closed room with no adult supervision.
I do use recieving blankets for a while for swaddling. Two of four kids have really loved swaddling. I also use disposable diapers. I used cloth on the first three except when we were out and about, but DH, who does our laundry most of the time, put his foot down this time and said no. I felt that was fair. As it is we do a lot of laundry.
I've learned over the years that different things work for different families. My family cicumstances are not the same as other people's and people develop routines that work for their particular family. Heck, I've seen my family morph over the years. Some things that worked well with one kid will be complete failures with another. There's no one right way to raise kids. The Mommy Wars stuff (OMG look at her, she bed-shares and doesn't have her kid in baby classes and breast-feeds until the kid can talk or OMG, look at all the crap she has and all the money she spends and *gasp* is that a bottle she's using? Doesn't she know she's poisoning her kid?) is for the birds. All it does is make moms, all of whom already have a tough job and feel guilty about one thing or another, feel worse about themselves and make their lives harder. You do the best you can and let the rest go.
First, it's no inditement of "all families." It was really meant to be a chuckle -- about how people think they need a lot of things that they don't. :D
Second, My experience is largely of women with one child who is a perfectly healthy (not special needs) child; women who are conspicuously and ostentatiously spending and calling it a "need."
This is not about the stuff itself. There's nothing wrong with "stuff" inherently. Vans, strollers, pack-in-plays, etc are all irrelevant. What is relevant is the mind of the person purchasing -- which you cannot know until you are communicating with them. So for me, there's no inherent assumptive process about any given family, and therefore no judgment toward anyone who may need these things.
With this, I have no problem with a woman saying "i want this, for myself and/or my baby." I have no problem with someone WANTING a stroller, pack in play, 97 million handbags, or a massive house or minivan. It's OK to want things and to acquire them IF you can afford them.
Where I take issue is in the *idea* that a want = a need. If a person truly NEEDS something, then of course it's not at issue. BUT, most of my friends, my family, and most people whom i know DO NOT NEED these things. So be honest and clear: you want it, then get it. But don't faff about calling it a NEED.
Now, I think this aspect really frustrates me because 1. it is dishonest, 2. it is used as social policing, and 3. it might be immoral.
1. I think it's dishonest to say "this is a need" when it is an obvious want. I mean, for my friend with three special needs children all in wheel chairs, a bag of a change of clothes, diapers, and their medications plus a notebook with their entire medical file on the compartment for storage on their chair IS a need. It is not a need for me to carry around that much for DS because he is a normal healthy boy -- even though i may WANT to do that. Likewise, it is absolutely necessary for her to have the massive, converted van so that she can get around and get her children around. If i wanted a large van, it would be hard pressed for me to call it a NEED.
It's ok to want, and it's ok to acquire what you want. But, i don't think it's ok to turn around and call that a "need."
2. What I experienced -- and continue to experience -- is that if i'm not consuming, we are not good people, good parents, or good enough. Internally, i know, feel and think that this is bunk. I feel fine. I love my life. But the pressure from others can be immense.
To give an example, I went to meet a new group of women "hiking moms!" where we would get together at the park and go for hikes together. I thought this was great. Everyone had babies 2 and under, and hawk was just about 6-7 months old.
I pull up in my hatchback with a lot of moms in minivans. nearly all of them had large strollers. All fine -- i don't care and don't know if they needed them or wanted them. It's fine to have them.
I wrap up my son and go to meet the group and introduce myself. People look at me like i'm from jupiter. Everyone starts walking in twos with their strollers. I walk next to a woman with a stroller, and ask her questions. I know that, socially, it's important to get people to talk about themselves, and go from there. So, I ask her about herself.
She talks mostly about objects. I get that a lot of our culture is object oriented, so I go with that. most of it, i have no idea what it is, much less the social importance of it. Everything was like "This object, do you have it?" and me "no." And her "oh, well, you know it's great. It's X, Y, Z, and A AND B too! You should get it." and me "what's it for?" and "oh, it's. . ." whatever, no idea. After several hiking groups, no one was talking to me. I hadn't said anything, you see? I'd just done.
It had been determined that the group leader would email me because "your poverty makes the ladies uncomfortable." and i said "what do they mean, poverty?" and she said "well, isn't it obvious? your hatchback, your basic clothing without labels, you don't wear any jewelry or dye your hair, and so on." and I said "lady, how much does your husband make?" and she told me, and I said "yes, the same as mine. but I don't spend my money on those things. How many times have you traveled to africa, to europe, to canada, across the US, to NZ?" and she said "none." and I said "this is how we prefer to live. I don't wear my money, i save it, I spend it on things that I value. I don't value jewelry. But thanks for letting me know that this group is uncomfortable with perfectly middle class/upper middle class people who don't dress like them."
it was essentially "act like us, or don't play."
it bothers me that these objects are NEEDS so that women can avoid social policing. The social policing is a total PITA, and with this, it's upsetting that in order to be accepted socially, you "need" to have a minivan, a massive stroller, jewelry just so, and so on.
3. I think that over-consuming may be immoral.
This might be part of my minimalism, but i'm not sure. I'm not sure if it's ok to want and to acquire based on wants, and I don't know if a social need is a real need on which to acquire, and i think that i have a serious problem with having too much and using too much.
eg, a friend of mine has two small sons, herself and her husband. they live in 4,000 sq ft. when they bought the house, they "needed" it. She didn't know how to describe it, other than 'they needed the space because the boys are growing." then, she did financial U, plus some other things through her church, and suddenly discovered that she was "keeping up with the jones'" and if she really thought about it, they didn't NEED that much space, or those large cars that use a lot of oil, or the other elements of their environmental footprint.
not only that, she discovered that they are very wasteful, and that what they waste could actually run one of the orphanages in africa that she supports. just in *waste* alone. And yet, nearly everything she owns, she had convinced herself that she NEEDED it.
and, now that she knows that she really just wanted it -- and sometimes for less than savory reasons -- she is beginning to see something else entirely in this.
And, I think i'm seeing it too, which is why it upsets me.
But, I don't know. Because I don't think it's wrong to want a house that fits your family in every way -- rather than having to have 5 people in two rooms. Or, maybe that does fit? I don't know.
Anyway, begs questions.
also, FWIW, i'm not involved in 'mommy wars.' i really do not care what people do -- because i agree that people need to do what is right for their families.
but i do question why people think people need so many objects in general, and what -- when it comes to babies, people really feel the need for A LOT of stuff.
i was, truly, afraid to have children for years because i did not want my house to look like ToysRUs and BabiesRUs combined. For a lot of families -- that's fine.
for me, it isn't. And i don't get why people keep telling me that my kid is not ok because of that. BUt, i guess that's them, and not really me.
Zoebird. Right about all the needless, frivolous things many mothers today think they need. (Or are convinced they need). Occasionally I'll come across a list Re: baby necessities and supplies, and I'll think, "gee whiz, where do moms get the money to buy all that", or, "I'd be in the poorhouse if I had to buy all those things". Ridiculous. Reiterates to me why so many people nowadays are so broke and barely scraping by. I find it sad that there seems to be no intervention or guidance related to knowledge/experience passed on to new moms by way of their own moms. (Moms/women who raised children the old-fashioned way with just the basics).
Myself, I relied on a small, basic, run-of-the-mill, cheap, flower patterned vinyl diaper bag. Bought secondhand, I paid something like $2 for it if I remember correctly. It's stained and cracked/ripped/torn now after years of use, but it served the purpose well, and housed everything I needed while out. In fact it was just big enough where I could pack my compact (wallet) and cigarettes inside with all the baby things, so I never had to pack a purse. Plus, never being far from home (10-15 minutes), meant I never needed to pack much.
Bagelgirl. Times really have changed haven't they. One area where I know I'd be one really unhappy mom, is with today's cribs and their non-drop-side railings. I love a drop-sided baby crib! I can't imagine lifting an older (bigger) baby/toddler in and out of a crib without a drop-side railing, and to think how many times a day (on average) a mother repeats the lifting in and out routine. P.S. Re: receiving blankets, I used them by the dozen, too!
The lack of washcloth use today is disheartening, although I tend to think it's on the rise (or at best improving) due to the push for all things reusable, and, the high numbers of mothers going back to cloth diapers. Definitely not like it used to be 20 years ago when most everyone still used cloth, and as far as feeding and putting baby down goes, sometimes I wonder if the information new mothers are receiving nowadays isn't the result of over anxious researchers bent on calming new mothers concerns over old matters/ways. Does make me wonder at times...
Domestic Goddess. There really is nothing like simplicity when it comes to babies and children is there. I'm laughing right now over the thought of all the changes I'm thinking of, changes I went through related to packing and outings with my kids. Towards the end I was like, change and pad kid's bottom up well, just prior to leaving the house, grab a spare diaper (or two), a pair of rubber pants (just in case, when/if I remembered), a bottle, place kid and supplies in back seat, away we go. No diaper bag, no nothing. Both mom and baby flying by the seat of their pants , literally!!! LMAO!
Stella. Love the backpack patrol idea!!! Re: having a lot of the "unnecessary" baby items listed, don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes I think it's the result of simply wanting to see ones children occupied and content, and thus moms branch out and make that purchase for that little something that they believe will fulfill that need and make their life (and her children's lives) that much more easy.
Re: the Mommy Wars thing, that really is a tough one isn't it. I avoid all things Mommy Wars at all costs. I remember the low, reducing, "I'm a failure" type feeling I went through when two of my kids seemed like they'd never reach the toilet-trained stage. Standing out back stringing up diapers on the line by the dozens, as if there was a new baby in the home, and always wondering to myself, "I wonder how many neighbourhood moms are watching"... It gave me a real appreciation for all the other moms out there struggling with the same in their homes, or other related trials and tribulations related to child-rearing milestones/regressions. Always trying to do the very best we can, buy yet, somehow, feeling as though we are failing.......
Mrs. M the demise of the drop sided crib is an irritant to me too. I am 5ft 2, so I practically have to drop the baby in a crib without drop sides. That's why I've gone to the pack and play, now that I think about it. It wasn't conscious, but now that you mention it I can see it. At least the pack and play is low enough that I can set baby in it. I use a moses basket for newborns.
Stella. Love the backpack patrol idea!!! Re: having a lot of the "unnecessary" baby items listed, don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes I think it's the result of simply wanting to see ones children occupied and content, and thus moms branch out and make that purchase for that little something that they believe will fulfill that need and make their life (and her children's lives) that much more easy.
I don't really feel bad about it. I don't consider the items I listed unnecessary for me. They are just items that solve problems particular to my situation. For example, the pack and play that I can actually set the kid down in and can take with on our three roadtrips this year (one of them a month long), or the minivan that seats seven, since I have a household of seven including my Dad. Almost all of my baby stuff is second or third hand and will be passed on to someone else, so the consumption aspect doesn't bother me. I have a sippy cup that, by the time Travis has used it, will have been used by six kids.
The backpack patrol idea is an expansion of an idea my sister had. When my nephew could walk Kay got him a little toddler sized backpack and kept a diaper and one of those travel-sized containers of wipes in it. He was so proud of himself for carrying his own diapers and it got him used to the idea of being responsible for his own things. We just use an old school backpack, but each of the kids likes being the helper. It's kind of like getting to be the Line Leader at school.
Zoe that hiking group sounds awful! I can't even imagine someone having the guts to tell someone their poverty was making other people uncomfortable. That blows my mind. That is just wrong on so many levels and, IMO, speaks to a profound spiritual poverty on the part of the group. On one hand, to assume that you were poor based on no real evidence and on the other hand, if you had been poor, to be so judgemental about it turns my stomach. Ick!
I do kind of get your point on the needs vs wants thing. That makes me more upset at advertisers than anything. I remember shopping with a friend when I was pregnant with James. We were both pregnant with our third kids and our second kids were both four. She looked at the stuff on the shelves and said "it's amazing how much more babies need now than they did even when J and Bella were babies." Obviously, babies don't need more stuff now than they did then, or when I was a kid, or when my parents were kids.
My experiences with other moms in my middle to upper middle class suburb of Minneapolis is that moms don't usually buy most of the stuff they have for their babies, other people do. Almost all of the diaper wipes warmers, bottle warmers and other "new needs" as I like to call them that I have seen have been gifts from either grandparents or friends. I was quite happy that with baby #4 the only thing anyone bought me was diapers and a double stroller.
Also, in my less-conventional neighborhood it is extremely common for people to have second-hand baby stuff. My swing, for example, is one that my friend (the same one I took that shopping trip with) bought at a garage sale for her kid and then passed on to me. When I am done with it I will pass it on to someone else, so it will live with at least four families. The johnny-jump-up Travis loves (which was, incidentally invented by a now-deceased neighbor of mine for his twin nephews) was bought used at my next-door neighbors annual garage sale to support breast cancer research. We bought it because we were doing construction on the basement and needed somewhere James could sit and we could keep an eye on him while we constructed, but that would keep him away from nails and screws and other implements of destruction. When we're done with it, we will pass it on to someone else. I really view myself as "borrowing" these items in a way. The nominal thrift store or garage sale price is just a "usage fee" in my head. In a way these items belong to the community and it's my turn to use them. So that's another way people end up with this stuff. Because if it's free from a friend or $3 at a yard sale, it might be worth seeing if it helps.
I was in the pool with two neighbors, one of them new, the other day and the long-time neighbor said to the other "have you been to our thrift stores?" "No," the new neighbor says, "but I love thrift stores!" "Oh this is like an initiation," the long-time neighbor says, "once you've been to our thrift stores you are initiated. Then when we compliment you on your new hat you can say 'Isn't it lovely? $2 at the thrift store!' and we will ooh and ahh over your good sense and taste." Then she invited the lady to our neighborhood cooking club. I LOVE my neighborhood.
mtnlaurel
9-12-11, 12:09pm
Zoebird - you may have meant your first post to get a chuckle, but it was your second post that made me laugh out loud! I mean who has ever heard of someone writing to someone, "Your poverty makes the ladies uncomfortable.' How could you not put your smart aleck hat on and respond, "I am so glad you brought that up because the ladies' debt in financing all of their meaningless, instantly depreciating baloney that will become superfluous in mere months is beginning to make me uncomfortable as well. I am so relieved to learn the feeling is mutual." :devil:
You know that not ALL of those women actually OWNED that stuff, either they or their friends or their parents are still paying interest on the infant get-up.
And if they really could afford all of that overpriced junk retail -- they sure wouldn't be acting like that. What I mean is, the little bit that I've been around people with big fat bucks -- they aren't even that interested in talking about stuff and things, more in experiences and concepts. It's the strivers that are wrapped up in the packaging.
I hope that didn't hurt your feelings too much at the time. Those women sound like morons.
Re: diaper bags. I went through about 3 different stages depending on kid excrement level and then just my learning curve of what being around an infant entailed.
At first, a great Lands' End diaper bag in gender neutral color - orange - light on the inside, easy to find stuff. With Kid1 it started out pretty packed 'cuz I had no clue what in tarnation I was doing. The great thing about this bag is that it is built to last through Armageddon and has already gone through several different uses since babydom.
I am a disposable diaper mom - I just had to come to terms with my limits, my skill set and my logistics. With Kid2 we were especially transient so there was no way that cloth would have worked with us at that point in time. And my hats off for the EC moms out there, that sounds wonderful.
I was lucky to get to breastfeed quite a while with both kids, so that cut down some items to carry around.
Then once mega blow outs decreased I was able to switch over to a fanny pack/purse-like hiking bag I used in college as a bookbag.
Then for a moment I had to switch back to big diaper bag left in car, big purse taken in store/errand with clothes change, to cover potty training time where you leave the house with multiple changes all over again.
Finally, I weaned myself to a big-purse-work-type bag that sees us through the final stages of Kid2.
I admit to drooling over expensive handbags, but a diaper bag is a utility item that collects sand, crumbs and crayons, and there is no reason for it to be expensive. We have a big unisex backpack with a portable potty seat, changes of clothes and underwear, wipes, sunscreen, hat, sweatshirt, water bottle, snack, crayons and coloring books, sometimes beach gear.
I also have a hatchback, which is the best car EVER. Maybe that is just the "poverty" talking.
Zoebird. Missed your additional entries last night by "that much" (Get Smart quote) after posting my entry, but was too tired to post more, but I'm back. :)
I was maddened, infuriated (in fact), and saddened over your entry related to the hiking group. What a shallow/small-minded bunch!!! Utterly despicable! Anyhow, that hiking group isn't a group per se, it's a click! I avoid clicks like the plague.
Anyhow, back to "baby stuff/things". Remember the old baby needs sections in department stores way back when? Back when all things were reusable? (Basic, basic, basic). Everything was basic, but practical. No frills or thrills. The departments were smaller- but thorough. Everything a mother needed, nothing extra. I miss those days.
But where the whole "I need this" and "I need that" idealism confuses me, is where are these mothers- mothers? Just prior to giving birth to my first, I asked and called upon my mom and older sister dozens of times to critique and go over the important things I needed, and I remember both of them saying to me, "you only need this number of those", or, "you won't need more than this number of these", or, "don't forget to pick up that". Experienced voices expressing solid firsthand advice/knowledge. But more importantly than just me receiving their helpful advice, was me actually listening to their advice and running with it. So I wonder what exactly is happening today where so many moms believe (and are convinced) they need so much? It's as if guidance doesn't exist anymore.
Stella. So happy to know I'm not the only mom who feels the way I do Re: non-drop-side cribs! I used my crib for everything! Not only was it a crib, it was the changing table/dressing station in our house, so having a drop-sided crib made dealing with all things (crib and baby) so much easier! In fact there's just no way I would have been able to do the many things I did in the department of baby care without my drop-sided cribs, and such a blessing those drop-sided railings were when my oldest daughter was still in her single digits, under 5', and helping out with her baby brother. No way would she have been strong enough to lift a 30 plus month old, 40 pound kid, in and out of a fixed-sided crib.
Re: the backpack patrol thing, so right you are, kids feel such a sense of pride when they can actively take on the actions of adult responsibilities. One of the reasons why kids (little ones) make for such great mommy helpers! So eager to feel grown up and help out they are. P.S. Regarding reusing baby/kids stuff over and over again, kid after kid, awesome! I lived for that when my kids were babies.
Mtnlaurel. I'm with you and Stella 100%! I find staying with and keeping with people who are just like me, who possess the same mindset as I do, make for the best company/friends of all. I can definitely do without all the snootiness, and if materialism and possessions is how one obtains friendship or support nowadays, then I'll gladly keep to myself. Gobsmacked I am...
Originally posted by Mntlaurel.
Re: diaper bags. I went through about 3 different stages depending on kid excrement level and then just my learning curve of what being around an infant entailed.This is my laugh of the day! It does take a little figuring out at first doesn't it. I thank the old-fashioned cloth diaper/rubber pants combo I used in preventing blowouts! Whatever the diapers (themselves) missed, as in picking up and catching, the rubber pants took care of the rest. Double line of defense! LMAO!
When I read about those who breastfed religiously, I wish I would have persevered and breastfed longer than I did. Savings, convenience, so healthy and good for baby!
Maribeth. I never went through any drooling stages Re: purchases related to my kids (when they were babies). I had such an old-fashioned traditional mindset about me, that I knew (long before I had kids) what exactly I wanted to use and would be using when they came along, but I know exactly where you are coming from. :)
Sometimes I think all things baby related should be utilitarian! No other living thing I know of has the ability to dirty, wet, soil, mess, and destroy things quite like a baby knows how to! LMAO! P.S. Re: parenting poverty, let us all join hands in celebrating how poverty stricken we all are as SL mothers! :)
I found that a lot of what was "necessary" was not for my kid, but that for other kids, i could see why.
my friend's baby is a big burper. messy little tiger. anyway, between big burps and massive poos, i think they do need 12 or more swaddling blankets a day! my guy hardly ever spit up (i think i can count on one hand), and since we did EC, we really only had two poop explosions, and both of those were with sitters who got overwhelmed. Poor girls -- i had to step in and help them out. LOL
My sister has two pack-n-plays because of her back. She cannot get up and down to the floor easily, so she has one downstairs and one upstairs. And she uses it as a changing table, a crib/bassenette/etc. I think this makes sense, because hauling it around is also a problem. When they go on trips, they take it with them because then they have a comfortable space for the baby where-ever they go. It makes perfect, perfect sense.
afterall, i used to carry around a dehumidifier when we stayed in hotels, because they are so dry, they would dry the baby right out and he's get mucusy. i'm sure it wasn't "necessary" but it made me feel better. LOL
I didn't know that cribs didn't have drop-down sides anymore. I thought that was totally standard, particularly necessary for shorter women. Afterall, it would be dangerous to get on a step stool to put your baby to bed! and once they are toddlers and way 4,000 screaming lbs of i don't wanna, well, yeah, that wouldn't be easy. LOL
I ran into a lot of those hiking groups, or similar groups, and it was always rather funny. My husband used to rant about how X guy at his work had a fancy house, fancy car, etc -- and why didn't we? How could he afford it?" and I said "he can't afford it. these people are in debt beyond their eyeballs." And, when that friend got a divorce, the figured out just how much debt he was in -- it was well over $500,000 (that included the house, car, consumer debt, school debt, etc). THat is A LOT of money. At the time, our only debt was our house and school debt, which put us around $150k. The house we were on track to pay off (before we opted to move) in less than 7 years, and the school debt is about 5 years off. We were snowballing it.
Now we just ahve the school debt, and everything else is cash. We won't do anything if we don't have the cash to do it, which means we live VERY simply.
And DS is so cute, too. He kinda gets it. He saw a flyer for "lay bys for christmas!" toys, and he said "i would like this, and this and this." And then, cute as a button, he goes "not to keep, just to play with for a little while, like kindy or the cafe." He loves the ideas of toys you give back, and now that he gets it, we're going to be using the toy library in our community for him. He "rented" one himself for just a week, and was pleased as punch to give it back, and he exchanged it for a 1000 piece puzzle!
he also has his own back pack, in which he carries his change of clothes, his puzzles (for when he's playing in the office), and his fruit for kindy. the boy LOVES his back pack, which was a gift from his grandparents. It's high quality, he'll use it for years. And man, proud as can be about it. :)
Zoebird. I used plain old standard cloth diapers as burp cloths in my house. Folded over once, then over shoulder. (Two if/when needed). Never thought of using swaddling/receiving blankets for such at the time, but what a super excellent idea!
I'm laughing at the "overwhelmed" comment you made Re: sitters! I was really young and babysitting one evening for a family a few doors down, and one of the older kids was being a tyrant! I mean the worst! Non-stop temper-tantrums, throwing things, hollering, screaming, a complete and total brat. Finally reaching my breaking point, I called up my mom. I swear I just set the receiver of the telephone down on the hook and the doorbell was a ringing! It was mom alright, and she wasted no time in blazing her way inside, making a beeline (straight) for the young little whipper-snapper in question and once in hand, she spanked him (and good), I mean a real "I mean business spanking", then told him that if he didn't shape-up, she'd be back again to give him another. The things neighbours and babysitters used to get away with 30 or so years ago!
I didn't know about drop-sided cribs until someone mentioned it here, on the boards.
Re: 4000 screaming pounds of "I don't wanna", I know all about that! You go to lift them inside but half way across (over the railing), they plant their feet firmly on the crown of the railing and push back (hard)! Baby's head into nose, mouth, or face if you aren't careful, and no matter how good you think you've got them, they somehow always seem to manage (find a way) of slinking out of the hold. Turning, bucking, thrashing, kicking!
How adorable about your son and him being so wise as to already be showing signs of simplicity. The sign of a solid and healthy upbringing. Re: baby toys and things, do keep your eyes open for yard/garage sales, and bring your son along with you when you go. He'll have a ball!
P.S. Hugs to you. Hugs coming by way of you being so appreciated here!!!
Ooh Zoe I am jealous that you have a toy library. That is such a good idea. Kids do get bored of a lot of toys pretty fast.
yeah, it's pretty common in NZ. most neighborhoods have them -- the salvation army usually runs them. I think it's great, to be honest with you.
wallydraigle
9-16-11, 11:50am
I take the diaper bag everywhere. Sometimes we use disposables on outings, other times we stick with cloth. I use disposables when we go out, and I expect not to have a convenient place to change the baby. Changing a baby on a floor hurts my back something fierce and, much as I love cloth diapering, it's nowhere near the quickness and convenience of disposables.
I hate receiving blankets. They're too small to swaddle effectively, and the eleventy dozen or so we received were just used as extra large burp cloths (I produce VERY spitty babies) or cut up to use as cloth wipes (which I ended up hating; maybe I should invest in some real ones).
There are precious few things I feel I need, but so many things that do make life far more convenient. We made the switch from car to minivan when I had a newborn and a sixteen month old, who was still not walking. My back is still thanking me for that one. I'm okay with my non-mobile babies sleeping on the floor or in a big easy chair, but once they start rolling and wiggling enough, the pack 'n' play is a godsend.
One thing that's absolutely not a necessity, but is an awesome little invention is the Tiny Diner (http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Tiny-Diner-Blue/dp/B002WTANQ8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316188172&sr=8-1). We don't eat out that often, but I keep it in the diaper bag at all times because it's so useful if we have an unexpected invitation, or if we decide to eat out on the spur of the moment. I wouldn't have needed it with my older child, but the younger one is a bit less driven by extreme neatness.
I used to be a "take the diaper bag everywhere mom", but as each new baby made his/her way into the world (my life), I refined and altered my methods and ways and routines. Hardly noticeable at the start, but by the time I was done with the diaper stage with baby #6, the contrast was stark. It's amazing how subtleties add up. (Diaper bag full-time at the start, diaper bag part-time half way through, a change of diapers rolled up in a plastic bag and hung from one of the stroller handles towards the end).
I was one of those, cloth at home, cloth out of the home, cloth while away, cloth all the time kind of moms. IMO starting off with cloth (right from the start) makes using cloth easier. In my thread topic (Stigma attached to simple/frugal living) posted in the Open Forum, I touched on how I was influenced (in a positive way) by a large number of the mothers I did babysitting for, my younger years, critical years, where role-models make an indelible and lasting impression, and so many of those moms used cloth, so when it came to grabbing hold of the baton and searing forward to run my portion of the cloth circuit, it was such an easy choice to make. (Like so many mothers say, it was a no-brainer).
Re: cloth baby wipes (AKA washcloths), flat fold cotton diapers are second to none when it comes to that. Nice and big, so easy to hang on to, super absorbent, so they blast through messes, and soft on baby's skin/bottom.
Re: The Tiny Diner, looks like a nifty little unit. I support the likes of all things that result in the betterment and cause of making the lives of both mothers and their babies easier.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.