Feels so good to LISTEN

[fidgiegirl]

I have been practicing trying to really LISTEN to other people lately and not talk about myself. If they genuinely inquire, I will, but if they don't, I don't offer up. And I ask them lots of questions, and they love it. I am careful not to be interested in something that I'm genuinely not interested in, because people know that, too, and resent it, I feel. But where I am interested, rather than tell them why, I ask them about their experience or opinion.

It's hard, because especially if confronted with the opportunity to have a conversation while I happen to be working on the computer (at work or home), I literally have to remove my body from the computer in order to do this. I am terribly mesmerized by computers/TV.

This stems from my new job as a coach but I am really enjoying the ripple effects into my personal life. It's felt really rewarding, and empowering. Remember the thread we had a while back and we started lamenting how no one really listens? Well, it feels like I'm doing what I can to remedy it . . . change my OWN behavior. Feels good.

[Zoebird]

i'm working on this, truly. LOL

[Lainey]

Huh, what didja say? :-)

But seriously, good reminder. Listening is quickly becoming a lost art.

[loosechickens]

I've long thought that this is the secret of my sweetie's connection with all kinds of people. He is an incredibly good listener, and draws people out more than you'd think would be possible, and pretty much everyone absolutely loves him. I try to emulate him, but like most people, it doesn't come naturally for me, because I'm much more inclined to talk instead, but since I see how easily he connects with people, and how much they like and trust him, he's been a good example over the years and I've gotten much better.

He says that's the only reason he's so popular, that most people are "broadcasters" and it's so rare for most people to actually encounter someone who's genuinely interested in listening to them rather than just hearing enough to formulate their own reply, that it's easy.

Good for you!

[Mrs-M]

I love "feel good" threads, and this is it for me! Way to go Fidgiegirl!

[puglogic]

You'll make an amazing coach, Fidgiegirl!

[creaker]

Listening is half of a conversation. Talking to someone who doesn't listen is pointless.

I've listened to others conversations where both people are talking and neither one is listening - and the quality of the conversation makes it pretty obvious.

[Stella]

I love "feel good" threads, and this is it for me! Way to go Fidgiegirl!

+1! I try to be a good listener too. People really respond to it.

[fidgiegirl]

Listening is half of a conversation. Talking to someone who doesn't listen is pointless.

I've listened to others conversations where both people are talking and neither one is listening - and the quality of the conversation makes it pretty obvious.

Exactly. I was realizing I was in quite a few of these conversations lately and that I myself had the power to change the dynamic.

Thanks for all the warm fuzzies, all!

[Gardenarian]

Thanks for posting! This is something I have been working on - staying focussed on what the other person is saying instead of what I am going to say. It's hard! Good for you for sticking with it.

[Selah]

Being mindful and engaged not only with our own thoughts, but also in being present with others, is a GOOD thing! Good for you for changing the dynamic.

[Sad Eyed Lady]

I wish I could remember who this is quoted from but I can't; one of those Zen saying kind of things: "He who knows does not speak, and he who speaks does not know".