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early morning
10-29-25, 10:31am
Oh, Catherine, that sucks, I am SO sorry. Sending as many good vibes and positive thoughts as I can muster!! ((()))
I am so sorry to hear this Catherine.
catherine
10-29-25, 11:02am
Thank you, everyone. We're taking it one day at a time. What else can we do? He and my daughter are talking shop these days, which is a bit of a strange consolation actually, that they can understand and support each other in ways the rest of the family cannot.
catherine
10-30-25, 2:40pm
The rant continues...
The family support group grows. My son just texted the family with the news that my DIL has cancer. Thankfully, she had the mammogram because of what she saw my daughter go through, so hers was caught even earlier and while she'll need surgery and radiation, hopefully she won't need chemo.
Oh, and BTW, my other DIL was hospitalized last month with pancreatitis and is having gall bladder surgery in December.
happystuff
10-30-25, 3:02pm
The rant continues...
The family support group grows. My son just texted the family with the news that my DIL has cancer. Thankfully, she had the mammogram because of what she saw my daughter go through, so hers was caught even earlier and while she'll need surgery and radiation, hopefully she won't need chemo.
Oh, and BTW, my other DIL was hospitalized last month with pancreatitis and is having gall bladder surgery in December.
OMG, catherine! It's sooo much! Sending out a huge amount of prayers and positive energies to EVERYONE!
early morning
10-30-25, 3:10pm
Gosh, Catherine, that is a LOT to deal with. As you support your family, hoping that you find solace and support for yourself, as well. It sounds as if you all are a pretty tightly knit bunch, but that's a lot of trauma for the entire group! You're in my thoughts. ((( )))
frugal-one
10-30-25, 3:51pm
OMG! Too much! Sending positive vibes your way!
Oh, no, that is terrible, I am so sorry.
iris lilies
10-30-25, 5:22pm
The rant continues...
The family support group grows. My son just texted the family with the news that my DIL has cancer. Thankfully, she had the mammogram because of what she saw my daughter go through, so hers was caught even earlier and while she'll need surgery and radiation, hopefully she won't need chemo.
Oh, and BTW, my other DIL was hospitalized last month with pancreatitis and is having gall bladder surgery in December.
This is terrible. All this breast cancer in these young women is just awful for your family.
rosarugosa
10-31-25, 6:33am
Catherine, I am so sorry and hoping for good outcomes for all your family members.
Just lost my next class because govt. shutdown halted military tuition assistance, so that's about ten percent of my income this year.
happystuff
11-1-25, 8:22am
Just lost my next class because govt. shutdown halted military tuition assistance, so that's about ten percent of my income this year.
That stinks, Tybee.
iris lilies
11-1-25, 9:17am
Just lost my next class because govt. shutdown halted military tuition assistance, so that's about ten percent of my income this year.
I am sorry!
I am sorry! Thank you, and thank you Happystuff. I am going to use this to encourage me to adjust spending accordingly, and this will be where I start, since these paychecks were also going to cover Christmas spending.
early morning
11-1-25, 10:20am
Ouch, Tybee. That stinks.
catherine
11-1-25, 11:00am
Sorry, Tybee!!! If Congress finally gets its butt in gear, will they reinstate the class?
frugal-one
11-1-25, 12:52pm
Sorry, Tybee. We can only hope things turn around.
Sorry, Tybee. We can only hope things turn around.
Thank you!
Catherine, I doubt it will happen fast enough because the class is supposed to start on Monday and I just found out about it. They said some classes could possibly reopen next week, but I've already put several hours of work on it that would have to be redone, since they would give me a new shell, and they have also given us a pay cut of about 25%, so I'm hoping that doesn't come up, since the whole thing has an insult added to injury quality due to the pay cut.
I have definitely been acting like the frog in the pan of boiling water, my bad.
Thinking of everyone here who is going through all the various manifestations of life's trials and tribulations. The only way through is through...please remember to take care of your daily bodily needs (decent food/rest/sleep). This too shall pass, eventually...
happystuff
11-2-25, 9:21am
Thinking of everyone here who is going through all the various manifestations of life's trials and tribulations. The only way through is through...please remember to take care of your daily bodily needs (decent food/rest/sleep). This too shall pass, eventually...
Wonderful sentiment, SiouzQ. I agree.
People who go to extreme lengths with the times you’re “allowed” to contact them. I have multiple friends who’ve posted on social media that you can only call/text them between 8am-8pm. That includes messages on FB Messenger, etc. Apparently I’m not the only one that switched to email. They got peeved about that and told us we’re not even allowed to email them outside of those hours. Just to be contrary, I’ve actually started sending them cards in the mail. One called me upset she hadn’t heard from me otherwise. She’s retired. I get home at 6. By the time I eat and do stuff around my place, it’s 8. Whenever I call/text on the weekends, I don’t get a response. I told her she needs to learn how to tweak her phone notification settings rather than putting limits on when people can contact her.
An update to my rant in the post above. I was at a church women’s group meeting today and one of the women who is demanding people only contact her between 8am-8pm (this includes phone calls, texts, emails, and any other type of online communication/app), started yelling at the group coordinator who had sent out an email to the entire group at 8:30 pm one evening this week. The coordinator yelled back, which was delightful to see. She told the objector to either take her email off her phone or to adjust her notifications.
Demanding people can only email you during certain times is ridiculous.
catherine
11-23-25, 10:07pm
Demanding people can only email you during certain times is ridiculous.
I agree. The onus is on the recipient to do what the coordinator suggested, not on the sender to consider the demands of everyone she is emailing. It's a different world in business these days. No more waiting until you go into the office and see what memos have dropped into your inbox.
I agree. The onus is on the recipient to do what the coordinator suggested, not on the sender to consider the demands of everyone she is emailing. It's a different world in business these days. No more waiting until you go into the office and see what memos have dropped into your inbox.
This isn't business related, just personal/church stuff. But even then, if you didn't want to be bothered by work emails late, silence your notifications.
Catherine, I am so sorry to hear of the health issues in your family. On X (formerly Twitter), there is a doctor (oncologist) named William Makis who has had a lot of luck treating cancer patients with Ivermectin, Fenbendazole and Menbendazole. He has a paid Substack but his Twitter account is free. Another doctor has a free Substack that I have also found helpful:
Dr. William Makis MD ( McGill Medicine)
@MakisMedicine09
https://makisw.substack.com/
https://www.midwesterndoctor.com/
I hope this information proves useful to your family and I will pray for you.
BigBear
Was going to do the Christmas lights outside today but out of eight strands of lights, only one worked. All were bought last year and worked when they were put away on Jan 1st so no clue why they suddenly don't work now.
iris lilies
11-29-25, 8:01pm
Was going to do the Christmas lights outside today but out of eight strands of lights, only one worked. All were bought last year and worked when they were put away on Jan 1st so no clue why they suddenly don't work now.
The mystery of why Xmas lights don’t work all of a sudden is right up there with the mystery of missing socks. Where did the missing sock go? No one has solved these mysteries.
that is quite a bad rate of failure, though, seven out of eight.
The mystery of why Xmas lights don’t work all of a sudden is right up there with the mystery of missing socks. Where did the missing sock go? No one has solved these mysteries.
that is quite a bad rate of failure, though, seven out of eight.
I just bought two pairs of Smart Wool socks for the winter. Wore one pair and went to wear the second pair the next day. One sock was missing. Bought another pair. I’m sure the other one will show up, hidden in pants or a shirt from the washer. I shook everything out and couldn’t find it.
happystuff
11-29-25, 8:41pm
My socks usually go missing between the washer and dryer. There is just enough space there for stuff to fall in and I forget to look. LOL.
My socks usually go missing between the washer and dryer. There is just enough space there for stuff to fall in and I forget to look. LOL.
I looked - my missing sock wasn't there! When I did laundry last night, I put my socks in a small zippered lingerie laundry bag. Didn't lose a sock this time!
happystuff
11-30-25, 5:25pm
I'm so sorry, Tradd! LOL. I hope you find it soon.
I'm so sorry, Tradd! LOL. I hope you find it soon.
Thanks, so do I! These are $20/pair socks!
The mystery of why Xmas lights don’t work all of a sudden is right up there with the mystery of missing socks. Where did the missing sock go? No one has solved these mysteries.
that is quite a bad rate of failure, though, seven out of eight.
I never seem to have missing socks. If one doesn't show up, it usually comes through the next time I do laundry. I suspect socks miss the laundry basket and end up on the floor of someone's closet and put into the hamper then. The Christmas lights saga got worse though. Went out and bought 8 more strands of lights. All worked when I was putting them up outside. I unplugged them until it got dark. They all worked when I plugged them back in later that day. Couple hours later, the first strand stopped working. Got another strand to replace it and it went out shortly after putting it up. Electrician son checked the outlet and everything seemed fine. I ended up taking the lights off the garage that wasn't working and all the ones on the house did so only the house/porch are lit up this year.
iris lilies
12-1-25, 1:01pm
I never seem to have missing socks. If one doesn't show up, it usually comes through the next time I do laundry. I suspect socks miss the laundry basket and end up on the floor of someone's closet and put into the hamper then. The Christmas lights saga got worse though. Went out and bought 8 more strands of lights. All worked when I was putting them up outside. I unplugged them until it got dark. They all worked when I plugged them back in later that day. Couple hours later, the first strand stopped working. Got another strand to replace it and it went out shortly after putting it up. Electrician son checked the outlet and everything seemed fine. I ended up taking the lights off the garage that wasn't working and all the ones on the house did so only the house/porch are lit up this year.
Ugh the light genie really doesn’t like you!
Is anyone on the other side trying to get your attention? The first year and a half after Dad died, the lights would flicker on and off. A lot.
Ugh the light genie really doesn’t like you!
The light genie just dropped kick me. Woke up this morning to all the lights out again! I'm done. I am not going to try anymore.
Is anyone on the other side trying to get your attention? The first year and a half after Dad died, the lights would flicker on and off. A lot.
Only person I know who died last year was my father in law and I doubt he is trying to get my attention as he never acknowledged my existence the 27 years before when he was alive. Every year I have issues with the outside lights but this year is the worst. Normally strands start dying mid-month, not right off the bat except when I first start pulling them out to use them.
Only person I know who died last year was my father in law and I doubt he is trying to get my attention as he never acknowledged my existence the 27 years before when he was alive. Every year I have issues with the outside lights but this year is the worst. Normally strands start dying mid-month, not right off the bat except when I first start pulling them out to use them.
Yeah, that does sound electrical!
Yeah, that does sound electrical!
It's not. Oldest is an electrician and he checked and everything is fine.
It's not. Oldest is an electrician and he checked and everything is fine.
Maybe fil is trying to harsh your Christmas buzz.
Maybe fil is trying to harsh your Christmas buzz.
Nah, he's apparently too busy messing with his wife and daughter. Both swear he comes to their bedrooms when they are sleeping and touches them. I think I've found the sweet spot with the lights as they were all still on when I woke up today!! I am going to get a bunch of LED lights when they go on clearance for next year as they don't use as much power and they tend to last a lot longer.
Oh, man, that is a dark spirit.
My dad hung around smoking his pipe in the living room and making the plants grow extremely large and blooming for months at a time.
Oh, man, that is a dark spirit.
I hope not. He was a minister for almost 60 years so I'm sure it's out of love. For the last couple of years, he had dementia really bad and was angry which is completely unlike him. We feel him coming back is his way of saying sorry for how I treated you two.
I'm so sorry, I misinterpreted your post! I am glad he is reaching out, and I apologize what what I said.
Found my lost sock! It was hiding inside of a shirt and fell out when I shook it this morning! LOL
iris lilies
12-3-25, 11:01am
Found my lost sock! It was hiding inside of a shirt and fell out when I shook it this morning! LOL
Good news.
I'm so sorry, I misinterpreted your post! I am glad he is reaching out, and I apologize what what I said.
No worries.
happystuff
12-3-25, 3:06pm
Found my lost sock! It was hiding inside of a shirt and fell out when I shook it this morning! LOL
Another mystery solved!!!
catherine
12-17-25, 6:26pm
I'm sure this is an old lady rant, but have car headlights gotten brighter? Or are people keeping their brights on? Or do DH and I have cataracts? What's the deal? We hate driving at night now... the oncoming traffic seems so much brighter than it used to be. Some cars are fine but others are like prison yard lighting.
HappyHiker
12-17-25, 6:38pm
[QUOTE=catherine;451091]I'm sure this is an old lady rant, but have car headlights gotten brighter? Or are people keeping their brights on? Or do DH and I have cataracts? What's the deal? We hate driving at night now... the oncoming traffic seems so much brighter than it used to be. Some cars are fine but others are like prison yard lighting.[/QUOTE
Yep, I think you're right! Some drivers don't dim their headlights for oncoming cars--which we all used to do back in the day...the "brights" can be rather blinding...]
[QUOTE=catherine;451091]I'm sure this is an old lady rant, but have car headlights gotten brighter? Or are people keeping their brights on? Or do DH and I have cataracts? What's the deal? We hate driving at night now... the oncoming traffic seems so much brighter than it used to be. Some cars are fine but others are like prison yard lighting.[/QUOTE
Yep, I think you're right! Some drivers don't dim their headlights for oncoming cars--which we all used to do back in the day...the "brights" can be rather blinding...]
No, the new LEDs *ARE* too bright, plus some people may do stuff to their vehicles that changes the vehicle height the lights were designed for.
rosarugosa
12-18-25, 8:11am
Catherine: I believe Tradd is correct, but please tell us more about your experience with prison yard lighting? Inquiring minds want to know! :devil:
catherine
12-18-25, 10:54am
Catherine: I believe Tradd is correct, but please tell us more about your experience with prison yard lighting? Inquiring minds want to know! :devil:
Yeah, I hated that damn prison yard! ;)
iris lilies
12-19-25, 1:41pm
This isn’t a rant, it’s just sad. Carolyn Kennedy’s daughter is dying of cancer. This is one Kennedy death that can’t be tied to misadventure and recklessness.
early morning
12-19-25, 2:19pm
It's tragic. I read her piece about her upcoming death in the New Yorker earlier this month. She is a hero in my book, as is her mother, and her mother before her. May her cousin rot in - well, wherever he ends up.
iris lilies
12-19-25, 3:05pm
It's tragic. I read her piece about her upcoming death in the New Yorker earlier this month. She is a hero in my book, as is her mother, and her mother before her. May her cousin rot in - well, wherever he ends up.
Misadventure, recklessness, and…craziness. Kinda the Kennedy brand.
I just read that Cheryl Hines, RFKJ’s current wife, was Rob Reiner’s personal assistant for decades. That seems to be a quite serious clash of political ideology, although Cheryl comes off as being, well, naïve. Very sweet. Can’t imagine how she ended up with that dude but OK life is weird.
catherine
12-19-25, 5:15pm
This isn’t a rant, it’s just sad. Carolyn Kennedy’s daughter is dying of cancer. This is one Kennedy death that can’t be tied to misadventure and recklessness.
I read that New York piece, and the NYTimes piece on that, and I feared reading it, having had 3 cancer diagnoses in my immediate family in 2025. But it was a truly heartfelt and courageous piece. I have incredible compassion and admiration for her.
Work system was down when I got into the office yesterday. It was down all day - emails, industry specific software, even phones - except for a brief time when we had email. No internet either. I'm on vacation beginning Wednesday and don't come back until the 5th. I have to get as much as I can pre-entered before I leave, so coworkers just have to submit clearances to Customs. There have been tons of issues and I have not been able to get as much time working on the stuff at the office as I wanted. So besides the air freight from Friday I couldn't clear, I have about 20 files to get done for while I'm gone. Office manager told me at the end of the day yesterday that system might not be back up for THREE days. I told her to text me if it comes up over the weekend.
I REALLY hope they don't expect me to work over my vacation. It's been a crap year and I'm really looking forward to just spending all day in bed, communing with my Kindle. Long term coworker was off yesterday. If he has ANY scrap of vacation time yet, even two hours, he takes it. He also whines like a toddler if he's asked to do anything extra. New guy is doing pretty danged good, but he's already taken over most of long term guy's workload. Oh, well, I'll deal with it on Monday.
early morning
12-20-25, 12:52pm
Arg, Tradd, that sounds awful. Hope they get it up and running soon, sounds beyond frustrating.
happystuff
12-21-25, 8:46am
Hope you get to have a restful and relaxing vacation, tradd!
Office manager just texted me that system is back up, but we need to change password to 14 characters. That needs to be done at work computer so I can’t do that from home.
Besides that, I have to leave an hour early tomorrow to get two new tires after one got punctured by a screw and can’t be fixed. AWD means two, not just one, new tires. $500.
Work system went down for about an hour at 3. I had stuff to do that didn’t require customs clearance software. Got the new tires on then worked for almost two hours at home. Got a ton done. So glad tomorrow is my last day before vacation.
I'm teaching a class I haven't taught in about two years. When AI started coming into the class, I would have 2-3 students out of 25-30 use it, according to Turnitin.
This class had its first paper due this weekend. Out of the 25 students who submitted a paper, only three showed an AI score of zero. Three showed scores of 35-50%. Two showed scores that indicated the student was able to bypass the checker. The other 14 students showed an AI score of 100%.
This is the first class where I decided to accept all papers, regardless of AI scores. The checkers themselves are AI, and therefore not really trustworthy, and I'm not going to get into a shouting match with students about their work anymore. It's not worth it. Each time I reject a paper for AI, it is a couple of hours of extra work for me. Ironically, they have lowered our salary now, so it's a double paycut.
iris lilies
12-23-25, 9:43am
I'm teaching a class I haven't taught in about two years. When AI started coming into the class, I would have 2-3 students out of 25-30 use it, according to Turnitin.
This class had its first paper due this weekend. Out of the 25 students who submitted a paper, only three showed an AI score of zero. Three showed scores of 35-50%. Two showed scores that indicated the student was able to bypass the checker. The other 14 students showed an AI score of 100%.
This is the first class where I decided to accept all papers, regardless of AI scores. The checkers themselves are AI, and therefore not really trustworthy, and I'm not going to get into a shouting match with students about their work anymore. It's not worth it. Each time I reject a paper for AI, it is a couple of hours of extra work for me. Ironically, they have lowered our salary now, so it's a double paycut.
That sounds so stressful, ugh. I cant even imagine facing 25 papers and having to determine which used AI.
catherine
12-23-25, 11:58am
That sounds so stressful, ugh. I cant even imagine facing 25 papers and having to determine which used AI.
I see a future where it won't even be an issue. It will be like punishing a cashier for not adding up groceries on the outside of the paper bag. When I went to my market research conference last year, everyone was in a panic about how AI was going to destroy the "art" of report writing. But the key message is--you still are the "manager" of the work. AI is just a word-making cash register. You value the end product on the ideas and insights, not for concoctions of purely human origin.
I know how radical that sounds, but in my experience so far with AI and market research, I have found that I use AI to draft alternative words, and sometimes I use it to draft a whole summary. I have to say, I'm still better at deciding how to use the output for my desired outcome. I'm more of an orchestra conductor now, or a choreographer rather than the dancer.
But still, Tybee, I agree that you have a significant challenge in assessing a student's ability to think critically in this new world.
iris lilies
12-23-25, 12:25pm
Yesterday I was thinking about the last big shift technology forced the average person to make, not AI, but it affected everyone, and that was a move from print form to digital forms of communication.
Remember when email was first new and people you knew printed out every email message they received? Aye yi yi.
Part of that shift was in my library world. Oh my people were all in a tither when journals began producing their content in online form. When I managed a large public library system, including their acquisitions department,I had several conversations with department heads who could NOT make that mental switch. One department head spent several days printing out entire journal contents and then delivered them to my office saying “now we need to send this to the bindery so we can put it on the shelf with the other physical volumes. “
I guess she had the expectation we would print out most of the Internet. Oy.
So I got ‘round that by soothing those of that mindset saying “ hey, let’s sit on this idea for several months to see how it all shakes out.” Not surprisingly, it all shook out to a result of not printing the entire journal databases on paper, it shook out by all that crap she had printed out ending up in the paper shredder.
And tons of government documents for which we went ‘round and ‘round about the necessity of cataloging. You folks have absolutely no idea of what the federal government and your state government produces. Back in those days there were “depository libraries “ that automatically received one paper copy of Each item the government printed. It was all copyright free. Anyone could reproduce it in any form, and the more juicy reports were picked up by commercial printing houses and distributed/sold. But anyway – by the time I retired, all the clamor for cataloging each of those government documents had greatly died down because so many of them were online and iindexed in keyword searches.
To this day, there is that collection of government documents sitting in Central library of the St. Louis public library. I don’t know how much weeding they were able to do when we moved to the renovated building because there are all kinds of strictures for disposing of items in that collection. At one time we supposedly had – get this —- 1 million items in that Gov Docs collection.
catherine
12-23-25, 12:57pm
That amount of print documentation would definitely make my head explode. Yeah, the internet definitely has its place!
I remember when we had been composing in word processors and then on big desktop computers for a year or so our company hired an older market research guy, Fred. Fred never worked without his trusty tape and scissors. Every report he wrote he would literally "cut and paste" changes. Some in the office would laugh at him, and his outmoded process did nothing to promote him as a relevant employee. He didn't last long. I'm sure he was very experienced and knowledgeable, but sometiems you have to fake keeping up with the times.
iris lilies
12-23-25, 1:03pm
That amount of print documentation would definitely make my head explode. Yeah, the internet definitely has its place!
I remember when we had been composing in word processors and then on big desktop computers for a year or so our company hired an older market research guy, Fred. Fred never worked without his trusty tape and scissors. Every report he wrote he would literally "cut and paste" changes. Some in the office would laugh at him, and his outmoded process did nothing to promote him as a relevant employee. He didn't last long. I'm sure he was very experienced and knowledgeable, but sometiems you have to fake keeping up with the times.
Yeah, our entire 7th floor was devoted to rows and rows of shelving of that Gov Docs collection with 3-ish employees paid to maintain it.
And as someone who appreciates visual illustration and commercial art, I found it the most visually boring place in the library Our governments don’t put stock in making document covers pretty. I doubt that there were any graphic designers paid to produce them.
catherine
12-23-25, 1:07pm
Yeah, our entire 7th floor was devoted to rows and rows of shelving of that Gov Docs collection with 3-ish employees paid to maintain it.
And as someone who appreciates visual illustration and commercial art, I found it the most visually boring place in the library Our governments don’t put stock in making document covers pretty. I doubt that there were any graphic designers paid to produce them.
When I think of how often I find a car insurance policy stuck in a tax return folder, I have to give those three document custodians major props.
iris lilies
12-23-25, 1:31pm
When I think of how often I find a car insurance policy stuck in a tax return folder, I have to give those three document custodians major props.
oh yeah, keeping that collection of 1 million docs orderly just makes my head hurt. I always said just shoot me, shoot me now, if I have to be a genealogy librarian or a government docs librarian.
the documents collections have their own classification system as well, the feds have one system and your state has another system. That further makes my head hurt.
More BS today, but I got most of what I needed to do done. The rest I stuck unread emails in a to do folder and left with a clean inbox. It can wait until the 5th. So glad to have a break. Badly needed.
frugal-one
12-26-25, 4:45pm
Christmas Day the above stove microwave died. Of course all appliances are almond so in order to match we must get ALL new. Bit the bullet and brought the microwave home today. DH and friend are now installing it. The rest will be delivered Jan 2. Thankfully we have money to blow on this! I am not a shopper so this was not fun. I looked online and had a few items picked out but could not determine the rest but by sight. Hopefully all will arrive with minimal complications!
iris lilies
12-26-25, 6:08pm
All appliances need not match in color. This decor aficionado (me) has a bright red stove and a stainless steel refrigerator. They don’t sit on the same wall or even near each other but still some people are bothered by it. Not me.
Our microwve and toaster ovens happen to be red, but only because I can get them in red. Stainless finish would be fine with them too.
frugal-one
12-26-25, 6:56pm
Got the microwave above the stove installed today. Would definitely be tacky to have different color stove there. Different strokes for different folks!
iris lilies
12-27-25, 11:22am
This is a mostly a rant but I could put it in the Rave thread because I laughed so hard my side hurt. I actually pulled a muscle laughing!
This was caused by DH‘s ridiculous actions yesterday. He need three shelving pieces and can’t get the correct depth from our local lumberyard. Lowes had beat up pieces in store he rejected. He wants to drive to Columbia, 60 miles away, to pick up at Lowe’s there.
I think that’s ridiculous and I told him just go to our local Lowe’s and order what you want at their counter. We went round and round about him not being able to find them online so I showed him easily available pieces on Amazon but they’re super expensive so we’re not buying from Amazon.
It was just ridiculous, our back-and-forth about it. He refuses to order things online, except for the truly obscure.
Iris, this was actually a topic of conversation on Christmas. I'm all in with tech, online stuff, electronic payments, etc. I was surrounded by people who rarely order online, still pay their bills through the mail with checks, still pay at the store with checks or cash. I was called lazy for using grocery delivery and getting everything delivered even though I have bad knees. I was also called lazy for using my dishwasher. Maybe because I'm single? Not sure. But people who refuse to order stuff online, especially if you would have to go to multiple stores or drive a long distance is ridiculous.
iris lilies
12-27-25, 1:47pm
Iris, this was actually a topic of conversation on Christmas. I'm all in with tech, online stuff, electronic payments, etc. I was surrounded by people who rarely order online, still pay their bills through the mail with checks, still pay at the store with checks or cash. I was called lazy for using grocery delivery and getting everything delivered even though I have bad knees. I was also called lazy for using my dishwasher. Maybe because I'm single? Not sure. But people who refuse to order stuff online, especially if you would have to go to multiple stores or drive a long distance is ridiculous.
we were relating our disagreement to our neighbor because of course we have to share conflict/hilarity with those around us to make them equally miserable and amused, and DH said this about me:
“She thinks she can order an entire house from Amazon and it will be delivered, ready to set up or she can hire somebody to put it together through Amazon.”
my rejoinder was:
“hey DH when are we gonna drive to Lexington Kentucky to get boards at their Lowe’s store? What if we find they are damaged boards when we get there, will we drive onwards to Orlando Florida? Should we just take a trip across country to collect three boards?”
Right this very moment while I’m writing this, he is driving an hour away to pick up boards that are indicated as being in stock. We shall see if those boards are acceptable.
we were relating our disagreement to our neighbor because of course we have to share conflict/hilarity with those around us to make them equally miserable and amused, and DH said this about me:
“She thinks she can order an entire house from Amazon and it will be delivered, ready to set up or she can hire somebody to put it together through Amazon.”
my rejoinder was:
“hey DH when are we gonna drive to Lexington Kentucky to get boards at their Lowe’s store? What if we find they are damaged boards when we get there, will we drive onwards to Orlando Florida? Should we just take a trip across country to collect three boards?”
Right this very moment while I’m writing this, he is driving an hour away to pick up boards that are indicated as being in stock. We shall see if those boards are acceptable.
Your DH is crazy. The people I was surrounded with on Christmas were either Boomers, Millennials, or Gen Z. I was the only Gen X. There were as many Gen Z refusing to use modern payment methods as the Boomers!
catherine
12-27-25, 3:53pm
Your DH is crazy. The people I was surrounded with on Christmas were either Boomers, Millennials, or Gen Z. I was the only Gen X. There were as many Gen Z refusing to use modern payment methods as the Boomers!
That's interesting. What do Gen Zers do to purchase stuff? Not that you can't buy stuff for Christmas without going online, but I'd think that the younger you are, the more comfortabe you are with technology.
Not many of my friends are that reluctant to give credit card information to online retailers, but the most recent mention of it was just two days ago when BIL said he wouldnt use a credit card.
They go to stores and buy stuff in person.
frugal-one
12-27-25, 4:46pm
Saw that many online stores are charging a fee if you return an item. Some were quite costly. I order online when I know I will have to go multiple places to find what I want. I’d much ther see what I am purchasing but sometimes that is not an option.
I’ve been buying online for years. For clothes, I stick with places/brands I know the fit of. Other than a few places such as Dr Bronners or Republic of Tea and a couple of places for clothes, pretty much everything comes from Amazon, including groceries, which are significantly cheaper than our local chain Jewel.
early morning
12-27-25, 6:00pm
Sometimes I want a real brick and mortar store. Sometimes on-line is fine. Somethings I pay for online w/credit, and sometimes mail a check. It depends. I kinda like that I have options, but if we had to have only one or the other, I'd go for brick and mortar, snail-mail and checks. Things that don't disappear into the ether if the grid goes down. I guess I'm sort of a progressive Luddite, lol.
Check fraud has been up since the pandemic and the USPS keeps getting slower.
iris lilies
12-27-25, 8:22pm
I actually went to 4 clothing stores last week, my first time ever in Kohls and Marshalls stores, because I’m looking for a particular thing and I cannot tell what the fabric is like online. I also visited JCPenney’s and it’s been two years since I’ve been in that store. This is one reason why I like Goodwill, clothes are there, I can feel them.
I ended up ordering two of these things from online sources. One one is hideous, but I thought it probably would be and it was cheap, the other one is certainly decent quality fabric, but it’s just not quite right.
and finding fabric these days without Joanne’s? Forget about it, it’s a miserable experience. sure most of the big fabric companies will send you a swatch, but you have to pay for it and then you have to wait for that process and then of course there’s a good old post office and etc..
I decided to buy a couple of new things this fall - layering tees, pullover sweaters and sweats from JCP and Kohls. I am very disappointed in the quality. Sleeves so long they might as well be for gorillas even though I bought small size. Sweater unraveling. "Cotton" sweats pilling after one wash. Also bought a few things from Land's End and their quality has also cheapened. I will be going back to thrift store shopping except for undies.
and fine fabric these days without Joanne’s? Forget about it it’s a miserable experience. sure most of the big fabric companies will send you a swatch, but you have to pay for it and then you have to wait for that process and then of course there’s a good old post office and etc..
Really? There are no fashion fabric stores near your area? There are two within an hour from me which I would travel to, make a day of it, if I really wanted something. One in Seattle and one on Bainbridge Is. There's another big one I've been to in the last yr down in PDX.
Joann did not really have much for garment makers. Mostly craft crap and not even all that was very good. For instance their gingham was printed, not woven. Probably their plaid too, not sure.
I only bought ONE Christmas gift online this year. The book accompanying the American Revolution series on PBS for my son in law. It was already Prime discounted then I got it on Black Friday. I felt dirty doing it, but he's hard to shop for.
The rest I bought locally from actual shopkeepers and bazaar vendors.
iris lilies
12-27-25, 10:16pm
Really? There are no fashion fabric stores near your area? There are two within an hour from me which I would travel to, make a day of it, if I really wanted something. One in Seattle and one on Bainbridge Is. There's another big one I've been to in the last yr down in PDX.
Joann did not really have much for garment makers. Mostly craft crap and not even all that was very good. For instance their gingham was printed, not woven. Probably their plaid too, not sure.
They had a small decorator fabric section. And then, much of what I buy is for craft projects of various kinds. Last time I bought fabric at Joanne’s was velveteen for Christmas pillows, velvet and felt for doll clothes.
no, there are no other fashion fabric stores that immediately come to mine, although somebody told me that Jackman was still around so maybe I need to look that one up next time I’m in St. Louis. there is some sort of donated fabric store, where people donate their extra fabric, but I’m not interested in stuff like that.
We have two fabric stores in Hermann, but both of them are quilters stores, so it’s all cotton stuff which does not interest me.
I only bought ONE Christmas gift online this year. The book accompanying the American Revolution series on PBS for my son in law. It was already Prime discounted then I got it on Black Friday. I felt dirty doing it, but he's hard to shop for.
The rest I bought locally from actual shopkeepers and bazaar vendors.
Don’t you have a Barnes and Noble near you? Or why didn’t you order from another bookstore if you despise Amazon?
Well, like I said, it was a deal. A $75 book I got for 23.34.
Actually I do have a B & N but they rarely have what I'm looking for and I did look there first. They can't even seem to stock The Atlantic magazine, but you can get any dippy craft or fine manor homes magazine anytime.
Indian half of the owners at work was a complete turd today, as he usually is. He's not been in the office for at least 6 weeks (been traveling). It was so bad I went and applied for a job today. Big broker that has a very good reputation. Fully remote. Just what I do now. It was just posted today. Interesting timing. Not getting my hopes up, but it felt positive to do something.
My husband knows that if he rough houses with me too much, our male cat gets upset and comes to defend me. That happened yesterday but our female cat was around and I'm not sure what happened but the next thing I know, she is attacking the male cat. I mean going at him like she was feral. I ran after both of them screaming to stop. I got her away from him (He ran underneath the bed) and got her back upstairs. I checked on the male cat and he seemed fine. He must have gotten a few licks in because there was her fur underneath a couple of his claws. Went upstairs to where the female cat was and she was hissing at me like I was going to be her next victim. Eventually she did calm down.
Why I'm pissed is (1) it was completely preventable. Husband went too far and (2) we had a problem the end of 2024 through the beginning of 2025 where we had to physically keep the cats separated for months because the sight of each other would cause a horrible fight. It started because there was a stray male cat that would come to the sliding glass door if he saw our female and torment her. She couldn't get to him so she took her anger out on her brother. After a few months separated, they be ok and then out of the blue, another fight. It got to the point where we put the female in the basement when I leave for work and then husband lets her out when he gets up four hours later. They are fine the rest of the time. We still do this just because it's routine to them now.
I was afraid after yesterday's fight, we'd be a square one again. I hated having them separated because I felt like the female got neglected because I don't go downstairs that often. Husband does but she doesn't really like him. :laff: Eventually the female went underneath our youngest's bed and the male came upstairs. He ended up going into the youngest's room too. I got up to watch. He smelled under the bed so I'm sure they knew each other was around. He got onto the bed and laid down in the window. They stayed like that for a while. He came out and went into my room where they both normally sleep. She was still under the youngest's bed when I went to bed. Woke up in the middle of the night to find both of them sleeping on my bed so it appears I dodged a bullet and they are ok with each other.
happystuff
1-8-26, 10:10am
Best of luck, Tradd!
Yikes, on the cat fights! Glad it seems to have worked out.
iris lilies
1-8-26, 10:12am
Klunick I am so sorry to hear about your cats getting into it. I hope they are able to be on good terms.
rosarugosa
1-8-26, 10:15am
Klunick: I feel your pain. A cat has started coming around our house recently, and when our boys see it, they start fighting with each other. An offer of treats or dry food redirects their interest pretty effectively, but these episodes definitely disrupt the usual peaceful vibe at the cottage.
iris lilies
1-8-26, 10:34am
The only one who disturbs the peaceful vibe of our cats is our idiotic dog. He’s mostly friends with our tabby cat, but plays rough with him. He’s the worst enemy of our orange cat, she is terrified of him because he gets her in a roll on her back. He never bites down on her though, but she is still terrified of him.
he is such a bully.
edited to make sense
Klunick I am so sorry to hear about your cats getting into it. I hope they are able to be on good terms.
Seem to be ok. The male is the one who normally holds a grudge and he wasn't acting upset last night or this morning so I think we're good. Probably upsets me more than them. These two are the first cats we've had that fought with each other so it was very upsetting for me plus scary to watch. Hopefully husband has learned his lesson and will stop messing with me so much.
frugal-one
1-10-26, 12:44pm
Got any prescriptions filled this year? Did so yesterday and it went up $100 from the last refill. As usual trump did not do as he promised… reduce prescription costs. No surprise because he has not come through on many promises (if any). Sadly, this is a common drug and many will not be able to afford it (and die)….most likely those who voted for trump.
My area is about to experience Snowmageddon this weekend. Up to two feet of snow and some ice on top of that. People are of course freaking out and running to the grocery store because they need 100 rolls of toilet paper and 18 gallon of milk. I tend to only keep what food we'll eat during the week in the house so I had to go to the grocery store. Thought I'd be smart using the "pick up" service like I normally do. WRONG!! It took them two hours to bring me my order. Let me be clear... I am in no way ranting about the people working at the grocery store. I can't imagine what the last few days has been like and what is coming in the next few days with last minute people. The people flooding the grocery store is what I'm pissed about. Even in the worst case scenario, we will be home bound for maybe a day or two. Roads will get plowed and we will be able to freely move about again. There is no need for this panicking. Get the essentials and wait it out. Plus we've had more than enough warning about this snowstorm to be able to get what we needed before this week.
I always marvel at people's behavior in that regard also, Klunick. I hope you stay safe and warm! This looks like a wicked storm. It appears that we folk way up north might not get hit as hard, but we are preparing for sub-zero wind-chills (~ -20). In our "summer" cabin, which was not built for Vermont winters, we always have to carefully monitor water pipes. We have heat tape on the pipes leading from the propane tank to the Rinnai hot water heater, but if our crawlspace gets too cold, the water may still freeze.
happystuff
1-22-26, 9:37am
Ditto, Klunick!!! Everyone stay safe and warm!
We're currently camping in S/E Oklahoma and the forecast is calling for 14 to 17 inches of snow and intense cold beginning Saturday evening. The cold doesn't concern me too much but I have no idea how long it will take a federal wildlife refuge to recover from that much snow and I certainly don't want to try pulling a 32 foot trailer through it, so, we're abandoning this spot today heading further south, back into Texas to a spot where current forecasts say is below the line where snow becomes rain. Hoping it's right!
iris lilies
1-22-26, 10:05am
We're currently camping in S/E Oklahoma and the forecast is calling for 14 to 17 inches of snow and intense cold beginning Saturday evening. The cold doesn't concern me too much but I have no idea how long it will take a federal wildlife refuge to recover from that much snow and I certainly don't want to try pulling a 32 foot trailer through it, so, we're abandoning this spot today heading further south, back into Texas to a spot where current forecasts say is below the line where snow becomes rain. Hoping it's right!
Get outta there!
Get outta there!
Yes Ma'am! We'll be gone within the hour.
early morning
1-22-26, 10:24am
Stay safe, everyone. Take care, Alan - sure glad it's not us out there, I hate towing in GOOD weather! Looks like it won't be too awful here, but that could change. We have the snow-blower gassed up and accessible (for a change!), and I'll be buying some eggs from the neighbor's later today. We have plenty of coffee, a tiny camp stove, and a French press, so we're good to go. :)
Odd weather these days. Most of Colorado is in a drought. Local news has featured ski shops whose business is down significantly and there are whispers of water shortages this summer. It looks like we will get a cold spell, but little snow. Otherwise it's mostly been record breaking warm many days.
I looks like a good time to hunker down for many. Be well.
Yesterday it looked like the predicted freeze line was moving north with a big ugly patch of mixed stuff at the bottom, be sure you get out of the ice zone too!
I always marvel at people's behavior in that regard also, Klunick. I hope you stay safe and warm! This looks like a wicked storm. It appears that we folk way up north might not get hit as hard, but we are preparing for sub-zero wind-chills (~ -20). In our "summer" cabin, which was not built for Vermont winters, we always have to carefully monitor water pipes. We have heat tape on the pipes leading from the propane tank to the Rinnai hot water heater, but if our crawlspace gets too cold, the water may still freeze.
Ditto, Klunick!!! Everyone stay safe and warm!
I can guarantee I'll be safe as I won't be out driving around but warm is questionable. No power = no heat. Relying on blankets and layers of clothing I guess.
My area is about to experience Snowmageddon this weekend. People are of course freaking out and running to the grocery store because they need 100 rolls of toilet paper and 18 gallon of milk. .. what I'm pissed about. Even in the worst case scenario, we will be home bound for maybe a day or two. Roads will get plowed and we will be able to freely move about again. There is no need for this panicking. Get the essentials and wait it out. Plus we've had more than enough warning about this snowstorm to be able to get what we needed before this week. I know, isn't it absurd? We're only slated for 6" and people are acting like the next ice age is coming. And the things they're buying don't really seem related to the reality of the situation in the first place. That is, what to do about every essential thing that runs on electricity in your home (like the fridge, if you're suddenly buying 200 pounds of perishable food). To hell with toilet paper, we can't flush a toilet or run a sink, or even run our fireplace blower that would theoretically warm at least one room, if the power goes out.
I'm also noticing the rise of "weather experts" on youtube etc. Very Very serious young men, for the most part, with interesting charts and graphs, but taking weather-catastrophizing to a whole new level as they fight for clicks. Grave big eyes, "I don't want to alarm anyone ... " yes, you do.
early morning
1-22-26, 12:07pm
Every winter I kick myself because we don't have a wood stove or alternative heat source. And every summer, we talk about the pros/cons (way more cons than pros!) and don't do anything. And then we get a prediction of bad weather.... and the cycle begins again. We're leaning towards a portable generator that can live in the shed (old, free standing summer kitchen) outside the back door. Fuel lives in the barn, but a can or two could be moved to the shed if forecast warranted. Cord could run from shed into kitchen and then to whatever room we decided to hunker down in (would depend on wind direction). and into basement for freezer if need be. I think that's doable, and would provide a small bit of peace of mind. Toaster oven, hot plate, heater, etc could rotate as needed.
Stock ups for storms here are mostly just to run more drinking water and a bucket or two for toilet flushing (we're hooked up to town water, so this in mostly in case of lines freezing), and try to get some bread if we can or if we're low. But we stay pretty stocked up. We may not have everything we'd want, but we have everything we need.
happystuff
1-22-26, 12:51pm
I can guarantee I'll be safe as I won't be out driving around but warm is questionable. No power = no heat. Relying on blankets and layers of clothing I guess.
Same here. Oil heat, but without the electricity to run the furnaces.... brrrrr.......
frugal-one
1-22-26, 6:50pm
Even in the deep south, the electric company is warning of possible outages.
Same here. Oil heat, but without the electricity to run the furnaces.... brrrrr.......
I have to say, having a wood stove (and wood) feels like money in the bank. I never had one before living in VT, but I do appreciate that simple pleasure.
rosarugosa
1-23-26, 7:48am
The threat of prolonged power outages combined with intense cold worries me a little bit. We are right near the public safety building though, so we have never been without power for long. I don't know if that's related to our proximity to the public safety building or just good luck. It would definitely feel more secure to have a generator or a woodstove.
We would be able to just hunker down and ride it out, except for the fact that someone will have to get to Mom's house to tend to her needs. She really cannot do much of anything independently anymore. I am not scheduled to be with her until next Weds, but of course the sense of concern/responsibility is always with me.
I’m an apartment dweller. I have the means (Sterno, which is safe for indoor use) to heat water/soup. Plenty of batteries. I have a Jackery. Tons of backup battery packs for phones. I charged everything last night out of sheer hair when any bad weather is forecast. Did all my laundry. Was supposed to drive two hours into WI tomorrow for an event, but I’m not going. There’s a Zoom option.
My power doesn’t go out for more than a few minutes. I’ve been in current place since 2008. Many of our lines are underground.
iris lilies
1-23-26, 10:19am
The threat of prolonged power outages combined with intense cold worries me a little bit. We are right near the public safety building though, so we have never been without power for long. I don't know if that's related to our proximity to the public safety building or just good luck. It would definitely feel more secure to have a generator or a woodstove.
We would be able to just hunker down and ride it out, except for the fact that someone will have to get to Mom's house to tend to her needs. She really cannot do much of anything independently anymore. I am not scheduled to be with her until next Weds, but of course the sense of concern/responsibility is always with me.
sorry you have to worry about your mother in this weather. I suppose you have considered scooping her up and bringing her to your house for the duration of the snowstorm.
sorry you have to worry about your mother in this weather. I suppose you have considered scooping her up and bringing her to your house for the duration of the snowstorm.
that might be a really good idea.
Depending on the mother, being cooped up with her might be worse than going out to her house in bad weather!
iris lilies
1-23-26, 1:36pm
Depending on the mother, being cooped up with her might be worse than going out to her house in bad weather!
yep I thought about this. I’m sure Rosa has thought about it as well. Kind of a Sophie‘s choice.
good luck, Rosa
iris lilies
1-23-26, 1:38pm
Slated to get the edge of the bad stuff, so we shall see what happens here. The storms we had last year were pretty awful. We have a gas fireplace that we could huddle around and keep warm, but that’s not gonna keep the pipes warm. That won’t keep the water running.
K and I have thought long and hard about our situation living in rural New Mexico. When I say rural though it is a bit of a misnomer, as it is only an 18 mile drive to the outer edges of Santa Fe. But we do live in the mountains and the roads to the city can and are notoriously dicey when we get snow and ice.
Heat: we have two sources (actually three if you count the absolutely ineffective electric baseboard heaters that were installed in order for the owner to sell the house to us). We have a woodstove in the large kitchen/family room downstairs, plus a propane wall heater for when we are too lazy to build a fire. The other propane wall heater is upstairs in the living/dining room. We pre-purchased 200 gallons of propane last summer at the discounted price and also bought a cord of wood to add to the woodshed, which was still pretty full after last winter.
Power & Water: we have solar panels (tied into PNM electric) but we do not have a battery system so we are not "off the grid." With last year's tax refund (which was hefty because we got Biden's Solar Tax Credit for installing the system) we purchased a gasoline/propane generator. We hired our electrician to upgrade our outdoor outlet so we can use the generator to pump water from our well into the storage cachment (which also gets the rain/snow runoff). With the generator we will be able to power some of the house, flush the toilet, etc.
Water: We have some 5 gallon jugs of non-potable water to use to manually flush the toilet. We also have several extra 5 gallon jugs of drinking water set aside, in addition to the six 3 gallon water jugs we fill at a water station in Santa Fe to use regularly.
We have also stored a lot of food. I guess we are somewhat ready for whatever life throws at us - a big storm/societal collapse/martial law (we have the proper tools to defend ourselves).
rosarugosa
1-24-26, 7:54am
yep I thought about this. I’m sure Rosa has thought about it as well. Kind of a Sophie‘s choice.
good luck, Rosa
We have a 1-bedroom house, so I would only bring Mom here if there were an absolute emergency, because she would be sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. I'm actually hoping Sis will volunteer to spend Sunday night at Mom's house, since she will be with her tomorrow. Mom's house is a 3-bedroom.
rosarugosa
1-25-26, 7:55am
Sis is going to stay over at Mom's tonight, so that's one worry somewhat abated.
Good idea! I'm grading as early as I can in case we lose power later. Thinking of moving a mattress in front of the woodstove.
I posed a legal question to Microsoft copilot yesterday and got one very involved answer about the case and what to do, how to proceed, why it was a sure thing, etc. Then today I posed the same legal question to the same AI, Microsoft copilot, and got a completely different answer. Anyone experience this?
early morning
1-25-26, 1:33pm
Glad your sister is staying over, rr. When the weather got really bad one of us always tried to stay at my moms, as when the power went out she would get even more confused. We had all the matches and lighters hid that we knew about, but match books were ubiquitous - I swear those little buggers bred when we weren't looking!- and we feared she'd resort to some of the ways people used to deal without electric - open flames everywhere! When we were kids, candles in large tin cans were her go-to outdoors handwarmers, and inside too, if the power went. She always seemed to forget safe ways to stay warm (more clothing, blankets, battery handwarmers) and go straight to more lethal methods, lol. Here's hoping we all weather this physical storm safely.
I posed a legal question to Microsoft copilot yesterday and got one very involved answer about the case and what to do, how to proceed, why it was a sure thing, etc. Then today I posed the same legal question to the same AI, Microsoft copilot, and got a completely different answer. Anyone experience this?
DH got his scans done on Friday to see if the chemo/immunotherapy is making a difference. Thankfully, the report on his patient portal indicated the tumor has shrunk a little, which is enough to keep him on maintenance therapy. But there were sections of the report we didn't understand, and he doesn't see his oncologist until next Thursday, so I ran it through my AI and he ran it through his. Mine had a slightly more encouraging read on the implications, while his indicated a more conservative analysis. Otherwise, interpretations were similar.
early morning
1-25-26, 2:04pm
no idea on the AI, but glad to hear your DH is holding his own, catherine!! Guarded good news is still good news, yes? Sending you all my best vibes and wishes.
That is really good news, Catherine!
Catherine, good news!
I'm so tired of work stress. We were without email for much of Thursday afternoon due to Microsoft outage. That also affected CBP's trade system since they use MS cloud services. Working for Friday am, but then down for much of the afternoon. Couldn't do much. Had an air freight shipment to clear that was arriving late Saturday, but I couldn't logon for home. Had to bother our IT guys late Saturday. Got that taken care of. I'd brought a bunch of files home to work on, but I had absolutely no urge to do anything today. The two guys in my department don't work extra, so screw it. I go all out all day at work. I had to bring work home a couple of times last week in the evenings.
happystuff
1-26-26, 9:05am
Wonderful, catherine! Hoping that it keeps shrinking!
rosarugosa
1-27-26, 7:36am
DH got his scans done on Friday to see if the chemo/immunotherapy is making a difference. Thankfully, the report on his patient portal indicated the tumor has shrunk a little, which is enough to keep him on maintenance therapy. But there were sections of the report we didn't understand, and he doesn't see his oncologist until next Thursday, so I ran it through my AI and he ran it through his. Mine had a slightly more encouraging read on the implications, while his indicated a more conservative analysis. Otherwise, interpretations were similar.
I'm so glad to hear that there has been shrinkage. I hope your AI is on target!
My area is about to experience Snowmageddon this weekend. Up to two feet of snow and some ice on top of that. People are of course freaking out and running to the grocery store because they need 100 rolls of toilet paper and 18 gallon of milk. I tend to only keep what food we'll eat during the week in the house so I had to go to the grocery store. Thought I'd be smart using the "pick up" service like I normally do. WRONG!! It took them two hours to bring me my order. Let me be clear... I am in no way ranting about the people working at the grocery store. I can't imagine what the last few days has been like and what is coming in the next few days with last minute people. The people flooding the grocery store is what I'm pissed about. Even in the worst case scenario, we will be home bound for maybe a day or two. Roads will get plowed and we will be able to freely move about again. There is no need for this panicking. Get the essentials and wait it out. Plus we've had more than enough warning about this snowstorm to be able to get what we needed before this week.
We lucked out and didn't get nearly the amount of snow they had predicted but we did get ice. Lots of ice!! Work was closed on Monday and Tuesday so today is my first day back. Wasn't too backed up with work from being off four days instead of two. Another storm predicted for this weekend but only 1-3 inches this time.
iris lilies
1-28-26, 11:39am
We lucked out and didn't get nearly the amount of snow they had predicted but we did get ice. Lots of ice!! Work was closed on Monday and Tuesday so today is my first day back. Wasn't too backed up with work from being off four days instead of two. Another storm predicted for this weekend but only 1-3 inches this time.
Ice is much worse, so I’m sorry to hear that. Our snow was about 8 inches and it was light and powdery. the threatened ice never materialized.
Ice is much worse, so I’m sorry to hear that. Our snow was about 8 inches and it was light and powdery. the threatened ice never materialized.
Happy we didn't lose power either. That would have made it a lot worse. We kept on top of shoveling the porch steps, walkway, and driveway so by the time it was over, clean up wasn't too bad.
frugal-one
1-28-26, 5:30pm
Went to get a roasted chicken at Costco a few days ago. Sign said no chickens today. DH was there today and no chickens again. Is there a shortage or ?
Went to get a roasted chicken at Costco a few days ago. Sign said no chickens today. DH was there today and no chickens again. Is there a shortage or ?
We left Oklahoma last week and headed further south into central Tx hoping to get away from all the snow forecast for our previous location. That worked out except for ice. We weren't anticipating getting iced in within a state that doesn't seem to have the infrastructure in place to deal with it, at least that's how it appears locally. We were finally able to get out yesterday to visit the only grocery store in the vicinity and were disappointed to find that they were out of just about everything in the meat and produce sections. Talked with the butcher who told us that they couldn't yet get deliveries from their supplier due to road conditions. Maybe your Costco has the same problem.
iris lilies
1-28-26, 7:46pm
I went to our store this afternoon. . It had plenty of chicken including rotisserie chickens. There was an odd shortage of some basic fresh vegetables tho. That might be storm related, that hadn’t occurred to me.
frugal-one
1-28-26, 8:20pm
Went to get a roasted chicken at Costco a few days ago. Sign said no chickens today. DH was there today and no chickens again. Is there a shortage or ?
Could be this?
https://www.cheapism.com/costco-lawsuit-rotisserie-chicken/
Re Costco Chickens: The lawsuit is in California, the craziest state in the union. We have only occasionally not had the chickens. Once they revamped the whole cooking area and they were missing for a few days.
iris lilies
1-28-26, 11:02pm
Could be this?
https://www.cheapism.com/costco-lawsuit-rotisserie-chicken/
Is the carrageenan not listed on package ingredients?
It is a culprit in allergic reactions for some people with Alpha-Gal syndrome.
This marketing claim by Cosco isn't a big deal if this ingredient is listed. No person of common sense pays attention to marketing claims.
Do any of you have Cornish game hens in your stores? I haven't seen any for ages. I lived on those in my 20s. Easy to cook and lasted a few days. Maybe they don't market them anymore?
I purposely looked for them the other week as I'd seen reference to them in something I was reading.
We visited a large ethnic grocery that has food from Mexico to SE Asia to Africa. Noted quail, duck, goose, etc. in the frozen poultry dept. Did not specifically look for Cornish hens but there were numerous types of frozen chicken.
It is even hard to find whole chickens in our regular grocery stores anymore.
rosarugosa
1-29-26, 7:47am
Kay: I have not noticed about the game hens, but I did see quail in the grocery flyer last week.
Wh had Cornish Hens last Thanksgiving, but have not seen them for sale since.
early morning
1-29-26, 3:02pm
We can only get Cornish game hens around Thanksgiving, too, but we shop Aldi, so no surprise there - they have a lot of strictly seasonal stuff. It's better than it used to be, but still, it's a small store and they seem to really cater to their store-specific customer purchasing habits.
The bigger chains around here have them that I've seen in the past, such as Jewel and Meijer.
My peeve of the week: people complaining that they were charged for Amazon Prime when they didn't intend to sign up for it (probably clicked the button in error), depended on a chat to get it cancelled, but didn't bother to actually go into account settings themselves. Jesus Christ, people take responsibility for your own crap.
frugal-one
1-31-26, 11:39am
I am saddened by what my 9 year old GD has been through in her short life… COVID, The George Floyd debacle and protests, and now the murder of 2 US citizens and protests in Minneapolis. DS just showed me a letter she wanted to send to trump. I was shocked! Using words a child her age should not know.. just by hearing and seeing them written. How can a person explain to a child the inequalities being displayed and the violence shown to citizens right outside her front door window? I feel traumatized and am not physically there. I can’t imagine the repercussions this will have on this kind-hearted little girl and others like her? It is enough to make one weep! Not to mention, the law abiding that are being detained and shipped off. This is not a round up of the worse of the worse.
iris lilies
2-4-26, 2:11pm
I got a notice this morning that I’ve been banned from the “Skeptics” sub reddit. I guess I’m not skeptical enough for them. That is a little hard to believe, no?
It is funny because I don’t remember ever posting to that sub. So when I delved into the moderators’ reason, they say it’s because I belong to another, unnamed sub that has members who “brigade” the skeptics.
These little Internet power games are amusing. I suspect I know which evil sub they are referencing and yes, it is not properly skeptical of the topics the Reddit skeptics want us to be skeptical of. I guess they are a focused target group with, not surprising, a preferred narrative.
I am saddened by what my 9 year old GD has been through in her short life… COVID, The George Floyd debacle and protests, and now the murder of 2 US citizens and protests in Minneapolis. DS just showed me a letter she wanted to send to trump. I was shocked! Using words a child her age should not know.. just by hearing and seeing them written. How can a person explain to a child the inequalities being displayed and the violence shown to citizens right outside her front door window? I feel traumatized and am not physically there. I can’t imagine the repercussions this will have on this kind-hearted little girl and others like her? It is enough to make one weep! Not to mention, the law abiding that are being detained and shipped off. This is not a round up of the worse of the worse.
My father only permitted me and my three brothers to watch one hour of TV a day. I love him for that. Honestly, there are so many things that children shouldn't have to deal with on a daily basis. Thich Nhat Hanh says: "Mass media is the food for our eyes, ears, and minds. When we watch television, read a magazine, watch a film, or play a video game, we are consuming sensory impressions. Many of the images we are exposed to through the media water unwholesome seeds of craving, fear, anger, and violence in our consciousness."
I think if I were to raise my kids all over again, I would use my father's rule and hope that they chose something other than the news to watch. I also would watch my own speech around them. When I was nine-ish, I remember the death of Marilyn Monroe, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and duck and cover drills in school. When I was 11, of course the assassination of JFK. That was enough. I think I would have been traumatized by more.
My DS does NOT own a tv. The 9 year old has seen firsthand outside her front door the police and now ICE brutality. She sees the signs and graffiti. It truly is heartbreaking what is going on.
My DS does NOT own a tv. The 9 year old has seen firsthand outside her front door the police and now ICE brutality. She sees the signs and graffiti. It truly is heartbreaking what is going on.
That is terrible and heartbreaking.
[QUOTE=catherine;452731]That is terrible and heartbreaking.[/
Talked to her recently and she stated there was food all over their house. Her parents and others are delivering food to neighbors terrorized and afraid to leave their homes. It is hard to imagine.
That is hard to imagine and so sad!
So I may not be the most informed person around, but I do try to stay reasonably well informed. However, I just found out yesterday in the course of reading a David Sedaris essay no less, that Yugoslavia is not a country anymore. Moreover, this has been the case since 1991. How did I miss that?
I learned that my husband's great grandparents were born in what is now Ukraine and Moldava. He could get Ukranian citizenship, not that he wants to. I also found out my son could get Belarus citizenship. Again, not a hotly contested citizenship. But you never know, maybe things will change politically, and they will all gain entrance into the EU.
iris lilies
3-2-26, 11:56am
Over the weekend I ran into one of my “ old person” annoyances: talkers. They exhaust me.
I was with one young relative for 3 discussions during the family meetup last weekend, and after about 15 minutes into the third session, I excuse myself from the meetup altogether. I just left. The constant stream of repeating topics makes me tired.
I'm with you, Iris, on the talkers....particularly loud talkers. There's a lady in my circle of acquaintances who is quite loud and is always heard above everyone else, even to the point of distraction. You can't keep track of the conversation you're having with someone else in the room. She laughs it off, making the excuse, "Oh that's my teacher voice!"
Anyway, I came here to rant/complain about the frequency or ubiquity, it seems, of people addressing their audience as "y'all." Now, if they are from Texas or somewhere that y'all is in their lexicon, that's fine.....but this is creeping up into everywhere--mostly by "influencers," (who are not from TX or the South) whom I also have a distaste for. TV restaurant critics, announcers, etc. Just come on! Why?
There. I feel better.
iris lilies
3-4-26, 10:57pm
Oh oh oh! I LOVE “ya’ll” because it is soft and southern/Western. I picked it up when I lived in the southwest decades ago. It seems so friendly to me.
it is so much better than my native Midwestern “you guys” and is gender neutral to boot, an added advantage.
I will defend “ya’ll” until I die! Haha.
frugal-one
3-4-26, 11:01pm
Better than being called “mama” here in the south! But, y’all sounds like a hillbilly too…. someone with little education.
iris lilies
3-4-26, 11:14pm
Better than being called “mama” here in the south! But, y’all sounds like a hillbilly too…. someone with little education.
“Mama” has made its way up to lower midwest.
Isn’t that Hispanic influence?
I too find y'all to be off-putting, although I guess I'm lucky to have very limited exposure to "influencers."
early morning
3-5-26, 10:05am
Well, I kinda like all y'all, whatever polite language you use. (all y'all is plural of y'all, for those who think y'all is plural, lol!!) We're not too far from the southern border here (aka the Ohio Ocean, which separates us from KY, which to us is very South indeed) and y'all is common. I have to admit adopting it when teaching mostly inner city kids. You guys was rather off-putting for my students; using y'all was better, as a teacher, than "bro", which my kids thought I should be saying. Using y'all with no hint of a southern accent made us all laugh, and laughter is often the first step of getting kids to listen to you. So - use what you want and defend it well! And maybe know why you're using it. I don't use it much these days, but do unconsciously use it when I'm with people who do so routinely. This often unawareness I have of quickly adopting language patterns of those around me is something I really try to watch for. I've always done this and I really don't like that about myself. It feels - patronizing? somehow, and that is never my intent.
It seems y'all is moving into our vocabulary in many places. I grew up with it along with yes ma'am and no sir which I kind of miss. The one I am having issue with is "hey" but that's a generational thing I guess.
I use y'all in written stuff sometimes--as "y'all" might have noticed :)
I never use it in speech. I'm still a "you guys" person--although maybe that's politically incorrect now, in which case, "y'all" might have found a niche in the DEI world.
And I even really like "all y'all". But again, I'd be a poseur Southerner if I said it out loud.
I grew up using the word and still do on occasion. I think y'all should use it if y'aint already.
happystuff
3-5-26, 11:27am
Rant - my grocery store has decided to move things around. It's been going on for at least 3 weeks now and my weekly shopping trips have been very frustrating! They are STILL in process of completing the changes! Couldn't find some things so just didn't buy them. (Just got back from this week's trip and I'm grumpy - sorry. )
My estranged DD moved to TX some years ago. She's a rather obnoxious and intense person and was only there a year or so before adopting y'all all.the.time. Now, up here in the PNW where she was raised we just don't use it. We say "you guys." So maybe I'm a bit touchy about this because of her. I do feel like some are appropriating an accent or vocabulary which is really not their own. I don't like this kind of fakeness.
rosarugosa
3-5-26, 12:02pm
I grew up using the word and still do on occasion. I think y'all should use it if y'aint already.
I've been told I have a WICKED Boston accent (a college professor said I should take elocution classes to get rid of it), so I suspect y'all coming out of my mouth would have a jarring effect.
rosarugosa
3-5-26, 12:05pm
Rant - my grocery store has decided to move things around. It's been going on for at least 3 weeks now and my weekly shopping trips have been very frustrating! They are STILL in process of completing the changes! Couldn't find some things so just didn't buy them. (Just got back from this week's trip and I'm grumpy - sorry. )
Oh no, not an unhappy happy! Seriously though, I hate when that happens. I'm pretty sure that spending more time in the grocery store wasn't one of your retirement goals.
Tariff chaos. Last week was horrid. Many extra hours, which are unusual. There was an in transit exempt when there were no reciprocal tariffs as those had gone away and no new 10% either. We had to push so many clearances out, it was horrid. I’ve been a broker for 15 years and this is the worst week I’ve ever had. Got a massage Tuesday. Feel so much better. My neck and shoulders were very stiff from the stress. I felt like I’d been beaten up after last week.
Tariff chaos. Last week was horrid. Many extra hours, which are unusual. There was an in transit exempt when there were no reciprocal tariffs as those had gone away and no new 10% either. We had to push so many clearances out, it was horrid. I’ve been a broker for 15 years and this is the worst week I’ve ever had. Got a massage Tuesday. Feel so much better. My neck and shoulders were very stiff from the stress. I felt like I’d been beaten up after last week.
Sorry to hear, Tradd!! Glad you got a massage! Book another one for the weekend!
Sorry to hear, Tradd!! Glad you got a massage! Book another one for the weekend!
I have a shipwreck event this weekend. I’m off tomorrow at least.
I have a shipwreck event this weekend. I’m off tomorrow at least.
Oh, cool! I was wondering if you were still diving. We haven't heard much about that from you.
Oh no, not an unhappy happy! Seriously though, I hate when that happens. I'm pretty sure that spending more time in the grocery store wasn't one of your retirement goals.
LOL. Thanks for the giggle. I know things will be fine once I get used to the new layout.
I have a shipwreck event this weekend. I’m off tomorrow at least.
Nice! Enjoy your day off and have fun at the event.
iris lilies
3-6-26, 6:07pm
I slipped into my outdoor gardening shoes, kept in our garage , for the first time since last fall. There was something in the toe, like a ball of toilet paper. I shook it out and it was a small, dead, furry creature. I screamed
DH had to come and deal with that small dead creature. He says it’s either a mouse or a mole
Omg, Iris! I would have thrown them out plus the pants I peed in! Then I'd have nightmares for a few nights. As big a tomboy as I've always been, I am thoroughly freaked out and petrified by small rodents dead or alive.
iris lilies
3-14-26, 8:46pm
Omg, Iris! I would have thrown them out plus the pants I peed in! Then I'd have nightmares for a few nights. As big a tomboy as I've always been, I am thoroughly freaked out and petrified by small rodents dead or alive.
Haha well, there was no peeing in pants, but it was a bit of a shocker,.
iris lilies
3-14-26, 8:55pm
This project has been like swimming through molasses. I just can’t get it to move.
The project is moving our iris society‘s website from one host to another so that our new Webmaster, who we are actually paying for a change, can host it. The new Webmaster company has been very responsive and helpful and we have not even paid them a dime yet. They went into our current website, completely upgraded it, added a new section, and they’re waiting for us to give them host credentials so they can move it.
Getting hosting credentials is the incredibly slow ineffective and dysfunctional part. I won’t go into details, but there’s so many people involved who don’t respond to email or who don’t know what they’re doing including me.
my light at the end of the tunnel is that once it is under the control of this new Webmaster, I can keep it up-to-date in a very rudimentary way. The old website had pages that were “under construction “for seven years. It linked to Gardens of people who had been dead for five years. The leadership of our society just didn’t understand that a website has to be kept up-to-date
We are the only iris society in our state that has a website and I’m beginning to think it’s probably something that’s beyond our capability. I told the group I personally would finance the Webmaster for one year and then we will talk about how important it is to continue to have it, IF It is important to have it.
I don’t have formal training on WordPress and I stumble through everything I do which is incredibly minimal, and now I see that the new upgraded website which was of course very important to do, is a whole new thing or nothing looks familiar. I did manage to update the “events “page to our meeting tomorrow.
iris lilies
3-31-26, 4:07pm
Today I am Crabby McCrabington because these things are irritating me:
1. What happened to the middle syllable in the name, Brittany? Why are so many people spelling their name Britney? How did that syllable become lost, and can we find it and restore it to all the Brit-neys?
2. How can it be we are in the month of April already and I didn’t get through the major tasks for garden club stuff I had planned to finish before flower show season started?
I do not like this fast moving time. Why is there no dial for me to slow down time?
3. Why is Megyn Kelly lowering herself to a point I couldn’t before imagine her doing in making fun of Mark Levine’s anatomy? boy it is bad. I had to unsubscribe from her podcast. she has legitimate concerns about the Iran war, I get that. That’s plenty reasonable. But the name-calling is just….ugh.
3. Why won’t my darling cat, the cutest cat in the world, the best cat I’ve ever had, wear clothes? It would only enhance her darling-ness.
Today I am Crabby McCrabington because these things are irritating me:
1. What happened to the middle syllable in the name, Brittany? Why are so many people spelling their name Britney? How did that syllable become lost, and can we find it and restore it to all the Brit-neys?
2. How can it be we are in the month of April already and I didn’t get through the major tasks for garden club stuff I had planned to finish before flower show season started?
I do not like this fast moving time. Why is there no dial for me to slow down time?
3. Why is Megyn Kelly lowering herself to a point I couldn’t before imagine her doing in making fun of Mark Levine’s anatomy? boy it is bad. I had to unsubscribe from her podcast. she has legitimate concerns about the Iran war, I get that. That’s plenty reasonable. But the name-calling is just….ugh.
3. Why won’t my darling cat, the cutest cat in the world, the best cat I’ve ever had, wear clothes? It would only enhance her darling-ness.
This is so funny!
1. I agree with the spelling of "Britney" but there's barely a middle syllable no matter how you spell it Brit' 'n ee. So that doesn't bother me.
2. Time is alsways going to creep up on you. Get over it.
3.. I agree with the crassness of name calling on so-called "news" shows/podcasts, whatever. But since I never listen to Megyn Kelly, I can't comment on her behavior.
3. So what does she do? Say, 'Mom! Pull-eze! I'm not wearing that!" or does she run and hide? Or would she rather wear a tie? And why do you insist that she dress up anyway?
iris lilies
3-31-26, 7:23pm
my second rant of the day is that it’s very irritating when people tell me to “ Get over it”
hahaha just kidding
whenever I put anything on my cat’s body, including even a simple collar, she immediately paws frantically at it to get it off of her body. I’m so fearful if there’s ever a time when she has to wear a cone due to surgery. We would have a sedate her.
I like dressing up my cats and I haven’t done it for years. My boy cat would not look appropriate in girls clothes which are the only clothes I would want to use.
I like dressing up my cats and I haven’t done it for years. My boy cat would not look appropriate in girls clothes which are the only clothes I would want to use.
Groomer!
iris lilies
3-31-26, 8:51pm
Groomer!
come on, I’m not going to dress my boy cat in frilly girls stuff. I did put his sister‘s pretty crocheted collar on him though and he tolerated it because he’s a good cat.
IL: Do you follow Drennon Davis on social media? His male cats frequently wear dresses and tutus, and they are very cute. However, I personally am partial to their lobster costumes. I might just know all the lyrics to "Lobster Doug."
:D Nothing to add, but loving this!
iris lilies
4-2-26, 7:45am
IL: Do you follow Drennon Davis on social media? His male cats frequently wear dresses and tutus, and they are very cute. However, I personally am partial to their lobster costumes. I might just know all the lyrics to "Lobster Doug."
I had not heard of him and I looked him up. He’s crazy with his four cats. That cat Newt is something!
Here's a rant: I dug out the copy of Mom's will that she gave me about 40 years ago. It is unsigned, and there is no signed version to be found among her chaotic files and paperwork. The solo practitioner attorney who prepared it for her is 98 years old. I'm writing to see if he has a signed copy, but I'm not holding my breath. Apparently we'll still be OK without it. The will basically says everything goes to her two daughters, and that is what the rules of inheritance would dictate without a will. Nevertheless, it is annoying that she went through the trouble of having a will drawn up and left this critical component undone. I probably should have noticed that the will was unsigned way back when, but I honestly didn't pay enough attention because who could even imagine Mom ever dying back then?
Here's a rant: I dug out the copy of Mom's will that she gave me about 40 years ago. It is unsigned, and there is no signed version to be found among her chaotic files and paperwork. The solo practitioner attorney who prepared it for her is 98 years old. I'm writing to see if he has a signed copy, but I'm not holding my breath. Apparently we'll still be OK without it. The will basically says everything goes to her two daughters, and that is what the rules of inheritance would dictate without a will. Nevertheless, it is annoying that she went through the trouble of having a will drawn up and left this critical component undone. I probably should have noticed that the will was unsigned way back when, but I honestly didn't pay enough attention because who could even imagine Mom ever dying back then?
This happened to my brother in Cambridge, and he got a lawyer and opened probate and it all went fine without having the signed will. I think hers might have evem been a holographic will, not prepared by an attorney. I think probate went pretty smoothly; it's closed now and it's been two years.
iris lilies
4-3-26, 8:26am
We have a story about an unsigned will.
DH’s father originally left his estate equally divided amoung all of his 5 children in a fully executed will. Then somewhere along the way, he decided to leave his farm, the bulk of his estate, to his youngest son who was living in his town and helping him farm it.
But—he never executed the will, just had it drawn up.
4 of the 5 children did not know about the new will. One of them, the problem sibling, would have been apoplectic with fury since she always felt shorted (and later caused trouble in court even when treated equally by the original will)
The youngest son who would have inherited the most did not contest the original will. Thank God.
*If* the youngest son had inherited the farm he would have been able to farm it only for about 6 years because he had cancer and recently died. “His” farm would have gone to his son and/or his 2nd wife because she would have gone to court over it. Just like right now she is expected to challenge the dead son’s will where he left his portion of the farm to his own son by 1st wife. This kids has no interest in farming.
it is all just stupid.
sell the damn farm. With every iteration of ownership it gets broken up and each piece less valuable.
It's interesting how people think about their estates. My grandfather's will stipulated that when he died, his assets should be split among his children or their heirs. So, he and my grandmother had five kids. By the tie my grandfather died, two of the children had died: my father, and his brother who had one child, who was adopted by my father. So, my brother (blood cousin) got the whole chunk from his father and my brothers and I split my father's share three ways. I'm not sure if that's standard. My grandfather could have simply split his estate across his surviving children and cut the four of us 2nd generationers out completely.
In an interesting twist, one of the surviving sons, my uncle, remarried and left his share to his new wife. None of his four kids got a penny. One of the kids had been in construction with his father for years--he took the stepmother to court, but lost. One of the other kids, a cousin I am close to, has very little money in her old age, and she keeps hoping that the stepmother dies soon so that maybe she'll get the dregs of the inheritance. The stepmother is still alive, well into her 90s.
Intergenerational wealth is so interesting and so fraught with pitfalls.
IshbelRobertson
4-4-26, 7:04am
My daughter and son-in-law live on the Greek island of Corfu. The Greeks, like many European countries, sent immigrants to various nations around the globe, many more than 100 years ago. Over the years the wills were still ensuring some later generations who had never lived in Greece were willed their share, BUT many could not be traced. There is a TINY strip of land right next to their villa. It is only about 30m long and 15m wide. My daughter would like to buy it to enlarge their garden, but noone seems to know who owns it! There’s a little old lady in her 90s in the village who owns a different tiny plot near her own home. She thinks the owner lives in Canada somewhere.
She comes and tries to strim the grasses and weeds, but my son in law does it for when he does his own. There are hundreds of these tiny plots, all over Greece.
It's interesting how people think about their estates. My grandfather's will stipulated that when he died, his assets should be split among his children or their heirs. So, he and my grandmother had five kids. By the tie my grandfather died, two of the children had died: my father, and his brother who had one child, who was adopted by my father. So, my brother (blood cousin) got the whole chunk from his father and my brothers and I split my father's share three ways. I'm not sure if that's standard. My grandfather could have simply split his estate across his surviving children and cut the four of us 2nd generationers out completely.
It's the difference between per stirpes and per capita inheritance, and per stirpes seems to be the standard.
It's the difference between per stirpes and per capita inheritance, and per stirpes seems to be the standard.
Gee, you know your stuff!
my second rant of the day is that it’s very irritating when people tell me to “ Get over it”
hahaha just kidding
whenever I put anything on my cat’s body, including even a simple collar, she immediately paws frantically at it to get it off of her body. I’m so fearful if there’s ever a time when she has to wear a cone due to surgery. We would have a sedate her.
I like dressing up my cats and I haven’t done it for years. My boy cat would not look appropriate in girls clothes which are the only clothes I would want to use.
I've seen some people use a type of onesie for pets that can't tolerate a cone.
"Intergenerational wealth is so interesting and so fraught with pitfalls."
That's for sure! I know so many families who have been torn apart over estate issues. In one instance, there is much ill-will over a teapot collection, of all things. I'm so glad my sister and I are such good friends and on the same page about all the important things.
iris lilies
4-5-26, 8:40am
"Intergenerational wealth is so interesting and so fraught with pitfalls."
That's for sure! I know so many families who have been torn apart over estate issues. In one instance, there is much ill-will over a teapot collection, of all things. I'm so glad my sister and I are such good friends and on the same page about all the important things.
yep, my brother and I did fine with our mother’s not-generous estate. As for her “ stuff” —he can have it! as it turns out, I think a fair amount of her furniture is still in her house that we sold to our cousin.
I have to admit, sadly, that the heirs in my family have not been good stewards of their gifts. I feel that the hard work of people who died with money to give wound up having it squandered, badly. In some cases, the gift became a curse to the beneficiary. I don't know how you prevent that from happening. I guess you can't. Relatives who scrimped and saved, only to have their life energy dishonored.
I have to admit, sadly, that the heirs in my family have not been good stewards of their gifts. I feel that the hard work of people who died with money to give wound up having it squandered, badly. In some cases it the gift became a curse to the beneficiary. I don't know how you prevent that from happening. I guess you can't. Relatives who scrimped and saved, only to have their life energy dishonored.
That's really sad. I think it can help to have role models who did well with the gifts. My mom was great with her inheritance, basically building it and managing it well and passing it along intact. I definitely think of my inheritance from her as family money that I need to steward and pass along. I think of my granddad, buying a property out in the country in about 1915, and then having it take care of his three children, and then having five of his grandchildren inheriting it over a hundred years later. I guess it remains to be seen what we do with it, but I really want to honor them and how they handled money with what I do with it. I'm kind of in awe of them for being such good stewards.
Seems like every week, we get estate planning companies free dinner offers in the mail. Many are at really good restaurants so it is tempting but I know it is just another lawyer money grab. I don't stress too much about leaving money for DD and grand-twins. The other grandparents are well off and will see they are all looked after monetarily. I figure if I can figure out how to mostly navigate old age ups and downs and take that burden off them, that is worth something.
iris lilies
4-10-26, 8:07pm
It appears that King Charles’ cancer is terminal. He will be making a public address later this month. Presumably, he will bring comforting words to all and will be doing his best to stabilize the monarchy. It’s been a rocky time in his brief tenure.
Prince Harry is gonna lose his title, you wait and see. But it probably will not be his father who removes the title.
I’m sorry for Harry. I know it’s always easy to blame “the woman “in these situations, but it really is Megan Markles’’ vision of the glamorous Hollywood life that led them down this garden path to where they are trolling for money now.
iris lilies
4-10-26, 8:24pm
For anyone who isn’t aware of what’s going on with Prince Harry and his wife Megan in Montecito, California, this is what happened in 2025 that signal a downfall:
* they quietly closed the charitable arm of their operation. It never brought in much more than $1 million a year. That is paltry for a do gooder organization of the scale they envisioned
* all of their entertainment productions bombed. Netflix severed their relationship. Spotify had already kicked them to the curb.
* Meghan Markle’s lifestyle brand of home goods bombed despite her many claims of being a success. Too many reports of unsold product surfaced that countered her claims.
* their relationship with WME quietly dissolved. They had talent representation with Ari Emmanuel of WME, the king of public relations for celebrities in Hollywood. There had been rumblings of Megan acting against professional advice multiple times. In 2026 a scathing article about them came out in Variety and that never would’ve happened if they had been represented by Emmanuel’s team.
* Harry had a nasty public break up with a charitable organization serving African children that he founded many years ago.
* Harry Continues to fight media in UK courts and I can’t tell how that’s going. Doesn’t seem to be positive for him from what I could tell.
* Harry continues to be estranged from most of his family and doesn’t speak often to his father, although they did have a quick summit meeting several months ago that lasted 20 minutes. There are rumors that Harry wants to return to the UK and public life as a royal, but no one knows if that’s true or if he would even be allowed to come back.
* Harry and his brother, the future King of England, do not speak. This does not bode well for Harry given King Charles’ health.
It appears that King Charles’ cancer is terminal. He will be making a public address later this month. Presumably, he will bring comforting words to all and will be doing his best to stabilize the monarchy. It’s been a rocky time in his brief tenure.
.
Wow, I had not heard that. Is this accepted news, did he make some statement about it? Poor guy.
iris lilies
4-10-26, 8:33pm
I have to admit, sadly, that the heirs in my family have not been good stewards of their gifts. I feel that the hard work of people who died with money to give wound up having it squandered, badly. In some cases, the gift became a curse to the beneficiary. I don't know how you prevent that from happening. I guess you can't. Relatives who scrimped and saved, only to have their life energy dishonored.
there’s a tale being told over on the Mr. Money Mustache forums about an estate of $1 million and how the owner wants it doled out to six people over their lifetime. The person on MMM telling the tale is supposed to be the executor, but he doesn’t want anything to do with that role— too many headaches with almost guaranteed family strife.
As one wise MMM person says, you gotta add a couple of zeros to that 1 million figure in order to make it worth the headaches of 80+ years of overseeing it in trust.
People have unrealistic expectations about how long money lasts and unrealistic expectations about controlling their money from the grave.
iris lilies
4-10-26, 8:35pm
Wow, I had not heard that. Is this accepted news, did he make some statement about it? Poor guy.
I do not believe he has made a statement that anyone has quoted, I think it’s maybe softly leaked?
That is truly sad; he wanted to be king for so long.
People have unrealistic expectations about how long money lasts and unrealistic expectations about controlling their money from the grave.
True. And it sure doesn't last long if you have a history of substance abuse and addiction. Or if you are financially illiterate.
My brother made a good living and he and my SIL wound up buying a "dream condo" on a river near where my SIL's Dad worked, so she had happy memories there. Then my brother got sick a few years back. When I called him a couple of years ago I was shocked to hear they were packing up their belongings and moving to an assisted living apartment.
After he died I spoke with my SIL and she said she was moving out of that apartment and moving to one on another river because she missed being able to look at the water. My guess is that my brother's medical bills and lack of income ate away at their ability to keep up with the expenses of home ownership.
At first I was horrified for them. That lovely condo, which I'm sure they hoped would last them the rest of their lives. As you know, that's what I would like to happen in my situation.
OTOH, is it SO bad to live in an apartment, where you don't have to worry about maintenance? You just pay your rent and be done with it? I think I have to adjust to an "either-or is fine" mentality. I've been thinking about that.
My oldest son has been advising me to see an estate planner to ensure I protect this property, and he's right. It's on my to-do list for this month.
This post turned into a rambling.. but it speaks to the difficulties of having expectations for your "stuff" beyond the grave.
Having expectations for your stuff beyond the grave is definitely a source of suffering. That is one advantage of selling one's house and converting that to a number on the page that can used for care or inherited by your heirs. On the other hand, I still resent my brother for selling my parents' house very cheaply and daydream sometimes about buying it back.
With this place, I doubt it will be our last place, and we owe money on it. If it were paid for, that would be another kettle of fish. My aunt was big on passing individual properties to her children and gave one my grandmother's house and one my great aunt's house. The sons got a rental property and the other the family home. So she assembled four properties, one for each child, which I thought was very cool and one way to go. But I can't afford to assemble four properties. If we died tomorrow, the kids would have to sell this place and pay off the mortgage and split anything, unless I write some will leaving this house to the more local kids, who really like the house, and then leave money to the other kids. But is that fair?
And what to do if you have one really popular property that everyone wants, but it is your significant asset and you might need the money to care for yourself? At 11000 a month for memory care, you can go through a lifetime of savings very quickly, including the value of the house you've managed to pay off.
Back to the idea of what is being wealthy, to me it would be having enough that each of my kids could get left a paid for property they could live in. But that's not going to happen. So in my own mental schema, I'm not wealthy, and am just concentrating on having enough to meet my needs and look out for my husband and kids.
happystuff
4-11-26, 8:18am
We've talked to the kids about the house and they simply don't want it! They have lives away from this area and - at least at this point in time - have no desire to return for anything other than visits. Dh has a HUGE baseball collection that he initially said he was leaving to the kids. They have flat-out said that they don't want it! (Nor do I!). I have no illusions about my stuff after death. Whatever is left can be taken or disposed of as the kids see fit. If I find out someone wants something, I'll try to give it to them before I die. Otherwise, they are welcome to sell it and split the proceeds.
early morning
4-11-26, 12:43pm
OTOH, is it SO bad to live in an apartment, where you don't have to worry about maintenance? You just pay your rent and be done with it?
tangentially - but still a peeve!) I hear this all the time from people who are wondering why lower income families keep kvetching about not being able to buy a home - just rent! It's great! No maintenance, no RE taxes..... what no one seems to want to talk about is that middle/lower middle class and working class rentals are often NOT well maintained, at least not around here. Getting something repaired or replaced is difficult and management has little incentive to follow the rules - Churn is the name of the game. Whereas before one could buy a fixer-upper for less than or equal to a rental cost and manage to actually come out ahead if you were able to do most of the work, or barter for it, that's so much harder now.
We did this. Bought a fixer farmhouse. Did our own basic repairs, painting, roof repairs, swapped basic labor for electrical work (you could do this sometimes with individuals, not with big companies!) Sold that house to buy a bigger/better one, still a fixer-upper, which we're still in now. After 35 years, it needs some work that we're unable to do, and our barter ability is gone, sadly. I like barter - DH once helped his dental surgeon move some of his office furniture for a free tooth extraction.
Oh I despise the new HP Microsoft 11 laptop! The screen is glaring no matter where I put it in our well lit house, the keyboard hurts my hands and back (I did connect the old keyboard so it can be in the right position..so now I am trying to figure out the VGA port to HDMI and I just get confused reading the directions. some say it works, others say no, so I think I'll get the converter cord. I want to keep my laptop on the same place where the desktop was and use its monitor that only glared in teh afternoon sun and not so the screen was nearly invisible! My eyes hurt!! Then the transferring of data to the new machine. 6 days to do that and I'm still not confident I got everything. But, I took a chance and unplug the desktop... Technology no fun these days for me. Now I am off to weed!!!
iris lilies
4-11-26, 1:32pm
We've talked to the kids about the house and they simply don't want it! They have lives away from this area and - at least at this point in time - have no desire to return for anything other than visits. Dh has a HUGE baseball collection that he initially said he was leaving to the kids. They have flat-out said that they don't want it! (Nor do I!). I have no illusions about my stuff after death. Whatever is left can be taken or disposed of as the kids see fit. If I find out someone wants something, I'll try to give it to them before I die. Otherwise, they are welcome to sell it and split the proceeds.
I was just talking to my friend about this concept yesterday. She’s a little miffed because both her daughter and her sister have said they do NOT want her family heirlooms, the stuff she got from parents and grandparents, when she’s gone. They do not want the stuff. Period.
I told my friend that I thought her daughter and her sister were doing her a favor by communicating clearly that they would not value the stuff. If my friend wants the stuff to go to someone who values it, she needs to be offloading it now. She will have to spend her own time placing it into the hands of someone who wants it.
That doesn’t mean she has to get rid of everything, of course, but if she has things in boxes and in storage that she values and she thinks somebody should have, well, that’s on her to find a home for it.
frugal-one
4-11-26, 4:30pm
We've talked to the kids about the house and they simply don't want it! They have lives away from this area and - at least at this point in time - have no desire to return for anything other than visits. Dh has a HUGE baseball collection that he initially said he was leaving to the kids. They have flat-out said that they don't want it! (Nor do I!). I have no illusions about my stuff after death. Whatever is left can be taken or disposed of as the kids see fit. If I find out someone wants something, I'll try to give it to them before I die. Otherwise, they are welcome to sell it and split the proceeds.
DH had a huge collection of 35mm cameras. Son told him he should get rid of it because he surely didn’t want it. So, DH did just that to the tune of $27,000! Son did want his collection of vinyl however, and has been selling it off. Reminds me to ask how much he has gotten so far …
huge collection of 35mm cameras
DH has the same mostly packed away in a closet and they are never used anymore. I have stopped asking him to do something with them. I know if he goes first, I will be scratching my head about how to deal with all of it. It is one of my great frustrations that DH refuses to deal with his sh--.
DH has the same mostly packed away in a closet and they are never used anymore. I have stopped asking him to do something with them. I know if he goes first, I will be scratching my head about how to deal with all of it. It is one of my great frustrations that DH refuses to deal with his sh--.
I just upgraded some of my photo gear and sold the old to KEH. They are reliable and offer fair prices. You can get more money for camera things on eBay or craigslist, but KEH is much easier. There's been a modest revival of interest in film cameras and gear but a lot of it still won't fetch much.
iris lilies
4-11-26, 6:18pm
DH has the same mostly packed away in a closet and they are never used anymore. I have stopped asking him to do something with them. I know if he goes first, I will be scratching my head about how to deal with all of it. It is one of my great frustrations that DH refuses to deal with his sh--.
I’m not at all worried about what happens to all of my DH’s crap if he dies.
The main plan is: pull up one of those big industrial dumpsters. Hire grunts to carry it all out to the dumpster, and be done with it. I may pick out a few things that I think are worth some bucks and take them down to the auction house.
Done and done.
and yes, I may be leaving lots of money on the table, or more accurately in the dumpster.. so be it. I might signal the local shop teacher at the high school to come by and pick up stuff that he wants.
practically speaking I know it’s not gonna be that easy. We have a big farm tractor, an old one. Someone will want that. we have an old Mercedes-Benz that someone will want. So finding the titles and getting them signed over will be a PITA.
One might be dealing with grief and loneliness while getting rid of your lifelong partner's possessions. It is easy to imagine just tossing it all, but I imagine the actual "going through" all of it might be quite difficult. I recall DH dealing with his Dad's possessions and some of those things still live in a closet since he can't let them go. I still remember finding my Dad's diaries with explicit descriptions of meeting with his lover over the years. Why would he leave that behind?
iris lilies
4-11-26, 10:12pm
One might be dealing with grief and loneliness while getting rid of your lifelong partner's possessions. It is easy to imagine just tossing it all, but I imagine the actual "going through" all of it might be quite difficult. I recall DH dealing with his Dad's possessions and some of those things still live in a closet since he can't let them go. I still remember finding my Dad's diaries with explicit descriptions of meeting with his lover over the years. Why would he leave that behind?
yes, it’s a lot to do if one is extremely tired from the great grief of losing a partner.
but in the end money makes it easier and one really can hire people to do a lot of it.
frugal-one
4-15-26, 5:28pm
Had a weird incident today. Without exaggerated detail… Guy was going ballistic! I put 2 fingers on his arm meant to console. He called the police and said I assaulted him. Police officer told me ANY touching (even one finger) here in Texas not expected by the person can be considered assault. Guy recanted and no documentation. Lesson learned. I will look away in the future.
Had a weird incident today. Without exaggerated detail… Guy was going ballistic! I put 2 fingers on his arm meant to console. He called the police and said I assaulted him. Police officer told me ANY touching (even one finger) here in Texas not expected by the person can be considered assault. Guy recanted and no documentation. Lesson learned. I will look away in the future.
Are you serious? That seems like a serious overreaction. He could have just said "I prefer not to be touched."
iris lilies
4-15-26, 6:55pm
Had a weird incident today. Without exaggerated detail… Guy was going ballistic! I put 2 fingers on his arm meant to console. He called the police and said I assaulted him. Police officer told me ANY touching (even one finger) here in Texas not expected by the person can be considered assault. Guy recanted and no documentation. Lesson learned. I will look away in the future.
that is too bad. But people who are going ballistic are not in rational mode.
neutral face and backing way slowly— safest route.
rosarugosa
4-16-26, 6:43am
I bought a small portable treadmill about 5 weeks ago, for use on the many days that weather or schedule are not conducive to getting my steps outdoors. It was a pretty cool little thing, and I was using it regularly. Then 2 days ago, a little mouse got in there. The cats had the treadmill surrounded, and we thought the mouse was under it, but it was actually inside the works. Sizzle, sizzle, black smoke and dead treadmill. We took it outside and let the mouse out, but it looked seriously injured, like its back legs didn't work. Little sucker cost me $200.
On the plus side, I had a better idea of my preferred criteria when ordering a replacement, so hopefully my new one will be even better. I even went with the accidental damage warranty, which is not something I usually do, but the little mousie made me do it.
I bought a small portable treadmill about 5 weeks ago, for use on the many days that weather or schedule are not conducive to getting my steps outdoors. It was a pretty cool little thing, and I was using it regularly. Then 2 days ago, a little mouse got in there. The cats had the treadmill surrounded, and we thought the mouse was under it, but it was actually inside the works. Sizzle, sizzle, black smoke and dead treadmill. We took it outside and let the mouse out, but it looked seriously injured, like its back legs didn't work. Little sucker cost me $200.
On the plus side, I had a better idea of my preferred criteria when ordering a replacement, so hopefully my new one will be even better. I even went with the accidental damage warranty, which is not something I usually do, but the little mousie made me do it.
My mind just went to the flaming Christmas tree and Uncle Louis in Christmas Vacation. �� "smells like burnt kitty cat!"
I bought a small portable treadmill about 5 weeks ago, for use on the many days that weather or schedule are not conducive to getting my steps outdoors. It was a pretty cool little thing, and I was using it regularly. Then 2 days ago, a little mouse got in there. The cats had the treadmill surrounded, and we thought the mouse was under it, but it was actually inside the works. Sizzle, sizzle, black smoke and dead treadmill. We took it outside and let the mouse out, but it looked seriously injured, like its back legs didn't work. Little sucker cost me $200.
On the plus side, I had a better idea of my preferred criteria when ordering a replacement, so hopefully my new one will be even better. I even went with the accidental damage warranty, which is not something I usually do, but the little mousie made me do it.
Oh, yuck! The poor little paraplegic thing! I hope he was quickly put out of his misery by a hungry hawk. I hope your new treadmill lasts longer!
early morning
4-17-26, 5:27pm
Ah, life with rodents! Good title for a book! Or a thread, lol? Do we all have mouse stories? I know I have a couple... and IL DID say animal threads were popular on many forums. Or was that just kitties? :~)
Brother and mouse....brother stores a brand new 4 wheel car near his vacation home in the mountains for family to use. Picks up one day and notices a horrible smell while driving. Turns out the car was infested with several mice families over the winter while at the storage place - in the engine and inside under the seats and console. His insurance wouldn't cover the damage nor would the storage place. Almost had to have the car totaled as the damage/smell was so bad but ended up spending mucho to have stuff replaced and everything professionally cleaned - out of his own pocket.
early morning
4-18-26, 8:55am
DH and mouse and car - we had a 1969 Barracuda in the early/mid 1980s. DH loved that car and kept it mostly clean and tidy (rare for him!). Something or other broke, and while it sat in the driveway awaiting parts, a mouse family moved into the bottom of the driver's seat. The engine repair didn't faze the mice, and DH was focused on that so wasn't paying attention to much else. Now the seats in a Barracuda are low, and especially if you're tall, as DH is, you are setting way back and your legs stretch out kinda flat in front of you. So when he test-drove it, several little mice objected to his sitting on their home, and crawled out, running across his feet, up his legs, and in general causing a bit of consternation. Sadly, I was not along for that ride- but while he was telling me about it in a very injured tone of voice, I though it was hilarious, and could not stop laughing. We had to set traps to get the mice out, and there was a bit of smell that went away fairly quickly. He was advocating for poison bait, until I pointed out that dead/decaying mouse in seat would NOT be a smell he would want in the car. Hw never really thought it was as funny as I did. >8)
The IEEPA tariff refund process goes live on Monday. The CBP website (ACE portal, that has been where importers and brokers do somethings has been around since 2016) where the refund submission will be done is a mess. It's gotten very creaky. We're having massive issues. We were on hold with the help desk multiple times for 4.5 hours this week when the calls disconnected without talking to anyone. Ugh. Chaos.
early morning
4-18-26, 3:27pm
Oh, Tradd, that sounds AWFUL. What a cluster this has all been. And what has been gained, for the American people?
SO mad today! It's nice out so I decided to get the exterior windows washed (I do them myself). Some years ago I bought a long-handled tool kit from Windex which came with pre-loaded (with window cleaner) pads that stuck onto the handle head by just slapping it on. Wet down the window--wipe down with the pads--easily reach up high. It did a great job & I actually enjoyed washing windows.
Well, today I found I only had one pad left and I had already used it once (you can do about 10 windows with one pad). Went to Freddy's...didn't have them. Wally World, nope. Safeway nope. But the manager-buyer guy said they'd come out with this new product--a JUG that attached to your hose! Oh great. Just another plastic jug for the landfill and something on my hose that would undoubtedly drip down to my armpit.
So, I am making my own pads and I will use my handle and pfffftttt on them! I think I will write to Windex too!
A hard frost last night. I have been raking beds and exposing plants and it was a bit premature. And over the weekend, we were able to walk around our favorite lakeside town with the kids and see when things would be open, so it was doubly rough, as we had all been saying, we're so happy it's spring.
iris lilies
4-20-26, 8:39am
A hard frost last night. I have been raking beds and exposing plants and it was a bit premature. And over the weekend, we were able to walk around our favorite lakeside town with the kids and see when things would be open, so it was doubly rough, as we had all been saying, we're so happy it's spring.
we had stupid weather fluctuations here, really affecting Iris bloom. It was 90° one day and overnight dropped down to 16°.
I think we are through the worst part of spring weather fluctuations here though. I haven’t put my house plants outside yet, I’m waiting another 10 days.
Around here, they always say no planting until Mother's Day. It is very frustrating for a gardener. My rant is finding that yesterday grasshoppers had decimated my little stand of newly planted rhubarb.
catherine
4-20-26, 10:36am
Around here, they always say no planting until Mother's Day. It is very frustrating for a gardener. My rant is finding that yesterday grasshoppers had decimated my little stand of newly planted rhubarb.
You're lucky you don't live in Vermont, Zone 5b. Our planting date is Memorial Day.
You're lucky you don't live in Vermont, Zone 5b. Our planting date is Memorial Day.
Yes, that's us in Maine, too. Up in Michigan, the older locals told me not until the first week of June at the earliest.
Yep as expected today is chaos with tariff refund process. Site not working well at all. Very spotty.
The local news gave more air time to the 4/20 marijuana celebration than to Earth Day, which has been barely mentioned. The DJ on the public radio jazz station said the weather on 420 would be "hazy". A sign of the times?
The local news gave more air time to the 4/20 marijuana celebration than to Earth Day, which has been barely mentioned. The DJ on the public radio jazz station said the weather on 420 would be "hazy". A sign of the times?
I think those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer pre-date Vladimir Lenin's birthday.
frugal-one
4-22-26, 10:40pm
I think those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer pre-date Vladimir Lenin's birthday.
Ludicrous ��:sick:
Work continued to be crazy with the refund stuff, although CBP’s system is working better.
I think those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer pre-date Vladimir Lenin's birthday.
And the death of Richard Nixon. Another day to celebrate.
rosarugosa
4-27-26, 6:17am
We worked in the Rose Garden for a few hours on Saturday. On Sunday morning, I pulled a tick off of myself. I thought I was safe because I had used insect repellent, but I guess not. Fingers crossed that I don't get any of those nasty things that ticks can carry.
frugal-one
4-27-26, 8:18am
RR… Rooting for you!
We worked in the Rose Garden for a few hours on Saturday. On Sunday morning, I pulled a tick off of myself. I thought I was safe because I had used insect repellent, but I guess not. Fingers crossed that I don't get any of those nasty things that ticks can carry.
Do you know what kind of tick it was?
iris lilies
4-27-26, 9:07am
We worked in the Rose Garden for a few hours on Saturday. On Sunday morning, I pulled a tick off of myself. I thought I was safe because I had used insect repellent, but I guess not. Fingers crossed that I don't get any of those nasty things that ticks can carry.
I pulled a big fat tick out of my skin the other day. It was so big it felt like a skin tag.
DH had an itty-bitty teeny tiny pinhead size tick in his armpit the other day.
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