Have seen a good reason to have your affairs in order.....

[gimmethesimplelife]

As my post says, I have seen a good reason to have your affairs in some kind of order. I have been caregiving a friend of the family that has late stage Parkinson's and who has pretty much been into total denial of his physical and mental decline. His affairs are woefully out of order and his family has just flown out from Omaha to stay with us for ten days to impose some kind of order. Thank God his house recently sold but there are stacks and stacks and stacks and boxes and....you get the idea, of paperwork to go through and be sorted. I have run across one receipt dated 11/18/66 - I am three days older than this receipt that seems to be for groceries....you get the idea, a hoarder and it is not going to be pretty getting this act straightened out. You could ask why am I involved at such a level as I am not family - simple, my mother is named in the trust that he finally paid to have set up for a not insignificant sum and so I am trying to help her out with this. What I am learning here is to to just get rid of things as I have no desire to leave such a mess behind me.....and definitely have a will or a trust or some kind of direction as to what you want to have done with any assets or personal effects.....Rob

[flowerseverywhere]

excellent idea. The more your life is in order the better you are to handle the difficulties that people face.

There are some great books I got from the library that explained everything on getting an estate in order published by nolo. If you are on your own, it will be of great benefit for you to name whom you want anything to go to, or a charity if that is your choice.

also, don't forget to make your wishes known what type of burial/cremation etc. you prefer and where your papers can be located to someone you trust.

[razz]

Important thread!

Between our lawyer and no-fee financial planner at our local credit union we have everything sorted out including considering the tax implications of our (DH and my) affairs and both DD's know where everything is. I should doublecheck what they are aware of though.

While we have discussed our body disposal wishes with family and friends, I told my DH that we should write down what is important for guidance to maintain that sense of minimal time and investment that we consider a priority - cremation and spread ashes in the woods or under some plants with good wishes and thanks for what they have cherished of our lives. Short and simple and low cost.

We are horrified at the expense that some friends have recently gone through.

[jania]

I have tried to keep things as simple as possible for family to take care of. I've given my sister a copy of my will and final wishes, as well as information on financial matters if she needs. I have also tried to reduce the amount of material objects I have (OK, partly this is for me but I'm also thinking of my family) so clean-up and clean-out will be relatively easy. I'm in great health and not of a morbid mind, I just think it good to get things in order while everything is going well rather than try to take care of things when my attention may be elsewhere.

[Charity]

I had a co-worker who was a wonderful inspiration in this regard. She was married to a hoarder. He was a school teacher that would not throw any of his students papers away. She would try and try to get rid of them and before she got home from work he would take it all back out of the trash and bring it back in. He pack ratted other things too and she tended to collect things from trips all over the world with her two grown sons whom she adored.

About four years ago she was diagnosed with stage four bladder cancer. She had about a year to live. During that year she set about getting her affairs and her house in order. She would call us at work and tell us when she had another load of trash to get rid of and someone would go pick it up so we could throw it in our dumpster. That way her husband couldn't bring it back in. She had every picture from her travels framed and she hung them on her dining room walls along with other artifacts that could be hung. She created walls of happy memories that her sons would see when they came home. If she had a piece of art that she though would hold special meaning for one of us and not her sons, she'd give it to us to remember her by.

She went through all her clothes and sorted them by size and offered them to us if we could use them. She then set up folders in a filing cabinet for her husband and each of her sons with what they needed after she would be gone. Each had instructions on what needed to be done to settle her affairs and all the documents they would need to do it.

The lesson I learned was one of love. She loved her sons so much she didn't want them to have to deal with any of the mess or confusion when she was gone. She spent her last days in a beautiful clean house filled with happy memories and the peace of mind that she'd done all she could for the ones she loved. It inspires me still.