View Full Version : Moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandparents. (Surprise spot-checks).
So how about it, I'm talking spot-checks on kids, to make sure they're where they say they are? Yes? No? Sometimes? Never? Good thing? Bad thing?
Parents job IMO. I'm the cool aunt, I don't do that :laff:
IshbelRobertson
1-2-12, 7:06pm
Never.
depends on age. we check on our kid every 10 seconds. LOL he's 3.
I'm a spot/telephone call checker. However surprising it may be, just one lone mother calls here occasionally to check on her son.
You bet. I had a problem child. I became known by her friends as "psycho stalker mom".
Not really, they haven't given me cause to not trust them......yet. They both carry a phone and are good about checking in themselves.
I get automatic emails if the kids don't check into each class they are in. Got an 'alert' notice yesterday that Weston wasn't in one of his classes which I thought was odd, but found out later he was in the counselor's office switching his schedule around. That has come a long way from when I'd skip school and call in for myself.
Float On........those automatic calls are a great idea!
I suppose I was a "psycho stalker mom" too, but I didn't care. It was my "job".
What seemed to bother my kids' friends and their parents the most (don't know why), was if they were going to be riding with them, I would come out and ask if they would all be wearing seatbelts. And if they were spending the night, I'd call the mom and make sure they had working smoke alarms. Seems like very little "interferring" if you're just trying to keep your child safe.
One thing that really ticked me off is when I would ask if everyone had a seatbelt and the mom would say "Oh absolutely!!", and I'd find out later it wasn't true.
My kids are in their 20's now and are great people. I have absolutely no regrets parenting them close-up like I did.
What I notice about parenting nowadays, is that most parents don't know the kids, their kids chum with (are friends with), and parents don't know each other (other parents). Unheard of back in my day. And sadly, there are way too many single parent families today, so young children don't have the benefit of having a watchful, caring eye on them around the clock.
The mother who stays in touch with me, and I with her, lives within shouting distance to us, but we still communicate with each other regularly, and I always feel a sense of calm when my younger two are over at her place playing with her kids. It's as if she's an extension of the family. (That too, is becoming more and more rare nowadays). Where one feels comfort in a neighbours parenting style and ways, knowing ones children will be taken good care of and protected.
But as far as spot-checks go, either, seeing is believing checks, or a simple telephone call to ask if so and so is there, I don't feel bad about doing that at all. My kids are good, and I trust them, but somehow the extra added measure of assurance comforts me. It leaves me with nothing to think about or wonder about.
Not so far, but mine are still quite young. The youngest two, ages 2 1/2 and 9 months are always with me. The older two are 6 and 7 and play in the neighborhood with other kids. They are super good about calling me if they decide to go from the park to a friend's house, and since they are calling from their friend's phone I know where they are. I know their friends' parents and we are pretty well networked. This is a very old fashioned neighborhood in that respect. We have a strong community and we all look out for each other.
What I notice about parenting nowadays, is that most parents don't know the kids, their kids chum with (are friends with), and parents don't know each other (other parents). Unheard of back in my day. And sadly, there are way too many single parent families today, so young children don't have the benefit of having a watchful, caring eye on them around the clock.
I've made it a point that when the boys have a new friend (or as the case now 'girlfriends') to ask their mom out for a quick coffee or to do an activity as families. Helps me see how the friend was raised. Has also helped me to increase my circle of friends.
My middle-school nephew has an older iPhone, handed down after a parent's upgrade. He loves it because he can play games on it. His parents love it because they can track him with it. (They only do so on an occasional basis, now that he has proven himself reliable.) They really appreciated it in the first few nervous months when he was being allowed more independence but had yet to prove that he could be trusted with it.
How old are the kids? I find different approaches work for each stage. When my kids were younger, they really did not roam the neighborhood. If they were going to play with a friend, they went there and when done came straight back home. Every once in a while, they would migrate, but if so - one of the moms would call and let the rest of the "flock" know.
As they got older, my kids had cell phones. It's quite simple to just call them and ask where they are.
Some parents use applications for tracking their family members. It can either "ping" the phone for a location when needed, or you can set up sort of an invisible fence thing that sends an alert when the phone goes out of the boundaries. Personally, I never used this feature. But, I have seen up close how it can be utilized. Once, a non custodial parent took the child, and since the fence thing sent an alert, a potential abduction situation was averted. The other time was with a rebellious 17 year old. Her car was discovered abandoned, with her keys and purse still in the car. She was hoping that the parents would get a good scare and "appreciate her" more. The police notified her parents, who tracked her and found her immediately at her best friend's home.
I think we should have micro chips put into our children with GPS's on them. haha Just kidding.
Stella. Conditioning kids (at a young age) to be responsible, is second to none.
Float On. What a wonderful idea. That's the old-fashioned way, the way it was done when I was a kid.
AmeliaJane. The tricks of the trade! :)
Imerullo. Very interesting. I love the "ping" and "invisible fence" idea.
CathyA. LMAO! That, or a secret sewn in chip (clothing) that the kid is oblivious to!
My youngest, last born child (prior to adopted boys) went on a bicycle excursion with a friend when he was all of 5. He was blocks and blocks away from home, a serious no-no, which he well knew, and as luck would have it, DSIL, happened to be doing a little running around that day (minivan) and caught sight of the two.
Auntie stopped, loaded both boys into her van (along with their bikes), then promptly delivered them back home. I welcomed the delivery with open arms- and swinging hand. Junior got his bottom-warmed that day. Must have been in the air, because the neighbour followed suit.
When DD was about 14 we got a call from a mother of one of DD's friends. She said "I just wanted you to be aware that when I was picking up my daughter at school today, I saw your daughter driving a car across the parking lot!" She was with an older friend right after school, who had a car. They were there for softball practice. We came down soooooooooo hard on her. She was sobbing and sobbing. Sometimes we would really take advantage of the kids doing something they shouldn't be, just so it would stick with them. I think she lost privileges for a month, and she was totally in agreement that she deserved that punishment.
Gosh..........she was so "good" during those years, I just can't believe she would actually do something so potentially dangerous (to herself and others). I guess you never know for sure what choices they are going to make.....you can only try your best to guide them in the right direction. (and keep your fingers crossed!)
Great minds think alike, CathyA. I think it's a quality investment (when needed) to intentionally balloon a misdemeanor to accentuate the seriousness of it. With kids, particularly younger kids, sometimes that's what tends to work best. Then they remember, at least we hope that they will remember...
domestic goddess
1-4-12, 2:17pm
My granddaughters are just 7 and 10, so they are not to be off the block, and they are good about that. They play outside most days, and we know their friends, and where they are likely to go. If they go from one place to another, they are to stop by and let us know, and they are good about that. I think the older girl always will be, but the little one will be a holy terror when she is older, I'm sure. We may have to tattoo our address and phone number in her mouth so we can be notified when she figures out how to go to Chicago on her own. Or Milwaukee, or Indianapolis, or...
Right now we have some of their cousins visiting, so they are plenty busy. Six kids in this little house means we are bursting at the seams, but everyone is getting along well. One of the adults took some of them downtown to see the sights, and another adult too some of them with her to run errands, so everything is peaceful now. Think I should go and make some "welcome home" brownies soon.
Young children really do warm and brighten a home, don't they. P.S. Let me know when the brownies are done, I'm coming over! :)
I have always said that my kids are my greatest joy and my greatest frustration! I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat, but its a HUGE undertaking.......if you're going to do it right.
Me, too, CathyA! Are how right you are about doing it right. My adage has always been, "do it right, or don't do it at all", but when it comes to parenting, the old "do it right" adage, specially holds true.
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