View Full Version : What one think....
OOPS, typo and I can't edit the title... I meant, What one thing....
...did you decide to do in your life that you really didn't think you could do but wound up surprising yourself and doing it?
This weekend is my 35th wedding anniversary and I'm spending it with 3 out of 4 of my kids up in Burlington VT. At the lunch table yesterday, after DH had told about his experiences in jungle training in the Marines and repelling out of helicopters, I was marveling at how it was so hard for me to imagine him doing those things because he's afraid of heights and he's definitely not a roughing-it kind of guy.
So then I thought I was ask the question above to the others at the table:
We went around the table and my DD26's boyfriend, who is a wonderful, quiet guy who she's dated for three years, started to talk. He talked about just taking off when he was 19, after having been raised in a Christian school with very born-again type parents in North Carolina, and just on a whim, hitching and riding the rails with no money, just to see how far he could get. He wound up in Philadelphia, slept on the streets, wound up having some people show him an abandoned building to stay in, met some people there and he soon realized they were into all kinds of drugs and street crimes, so he dedided to high-tail it out, but had no clue how to do it--got back on the freight train, but looped around in the Cumberland Gap and wound up getting arrested in Ohio for freeloading. The judge let him go and he hitchiked back home to North Carolina. I sat there with my mouth open, because, again, he is that last person I would expect to tell a tale like that.
SO, what is YOUR story? When did you take a leap, and stretch your inner resources, and surprise yourself by succeeding?
Catherine, mine is a little boring, I guess, but I never in a million years thought I could quit smoking. I thoroughly enjoyed the last cig I smoked, but I did it, and I am grateful everyday. It's been 25 years now!
Mostly the things I thought I couldn't do were pretty mundane to most people, but I grew up kind of a cushy life and never imagined I could do them. Like re-wiring a lamp, or fixing a toilet, that sort of thing. (ok guys, don't laugh) But every time I decided I should do these instead of just calling someone else, it was very empowering, so each was a kind of big thing, to me. Now, I sometimes think I could literally do anything I wanted to do, short of brain surgery!;)
I decided to move to New York City and gave myself two weeks to find a job. I did it. It was a great experience that really changed the way I viewed things. I would never want to live there again, but I'm glad I did.
When I was very young (19) and not sure what to do with myself after several attempts at college, I got on a train in Laredo and traveled to San Miguel Allende in Mexico to enroll in some art classes. I met an older German man on the train and he saw me safely there. I found a little apartment over a shoe store and then found a room mate. Lived there through the summer and we had some memorable adventures - including Mexican boyfriends who spoke no English, numerous bumpy rides on very crowded buses to nearby towns and even a visit to a fortune teller who lived up in the hills. Looking back, it doesn't seem real - especially since life has been so predictable since. I would like to have one last adventure by moving to an entirely new place. We'll see...
A couple things........the first was going to Europe by myself when I was 19. I worked in a cafe on an island in Germany for a summer. Then I went traveling by myself. That was pretty scary. Went to Munich, thinking it would be a little "dorf". Haha......the train station had something like 25 lines. I didn't know where to go, so spent the night sleeping on a bench in the little mission room at the train station. Hitchhiked with a german girl who spoke no Engish, so our communication was all in German. We were going to go from Munich to Passau, where she lived. Our first ride was with an Italian truck driver who took us to breakfast and then proceeded to try to take us to Italy, until I threatened to jump out of the truck. We got out and got another ride with a nicer guy. We got into her town later at night and she told me to wait in the lobby of a hotel while she called her mom to come get us. She never came back. :( After getting over the shock of that, I took a bus to southern Germany (Berchtesgaden) and met an elederly lady on the bus who befriended me. We spent the next several days doing things together. What a sweetheart she was. I eventually came back home safely.
The second thing I did was to try to confront my fears of bodily mutilation. I became an EMT (and later an RN) and worked in an emergency room. I actually did very well and was proud of myself for doing such a scary thing. Other than that, my life has been pretty boring!
Redid all the flex tube duct work under the house 10 years ago or so and like Peggy said it is empowering (saved me $800 too). And apparently I did it so well that when we had a new heat/air system installed this fall they said my work was very good and didn't need to be replaced.
Processed 12 chickens this fall (planning on 25 this spring)
Spent 3 months living in a tent in WV in '84 on a mountain.
I want more adventure! (currently bored silly)
folkypoet
1-30-12, 12:10pm
Ooh, this is a fun topic to contemplate!
Started a coffeehouse at 20 (that did very, very well while I was able to keep it open) - still can't believe I did that
Got through my acute needle phobia in order to do things like give birth to my son and donate blood to my brother
Actually published the damn poetry (got over feeling like it was all a bunch of crap) and entered a graduate writing program (even if I didn't finish it)
Created and published a popular, well-respected magazine on homeschooling (and the sprawling website that went along with it) - with no experience or any idea, really, of how to do it
Finally became vegan (after 19+ years as a guilty-feeling vegetarian)
Survived after my husband of 15 years left us
Dared to believe that life could be good, married the man of my dreams, and moved with my son (and 3 dogs & 3 cats) 800+ miles away without looking back
Okay, now I'm feeling pretty good about myself. :cool:
Sad Eyed Lady
1-30-12, 12:38pm
Wonderful stories - a great thread! One thing that came to mind, after having had a near drowning experience when I was young, I remained afraid of water and I never learned to swim. But, in Colorado once, I let a complete stranger, another women, talk me into getting into a kayak with her. Now, this wasn't white water to be sure, but after a few false starts I was able to do it! I know, tame compared to most of the others. I am enjoying reading and living vicariously through these stories - keep them coming!
What a wonderful thread and amazing stories! I'll be back to post mine later.
I gotta say, I am loving hearing what y'all did at 19! That's my stepson's age, and since he is in cutoff with us, we have no idea what he's up to. I like to image he's hitchhiking to Europe to start a coffee house... I hope he's having an adventure.
Ok, you asked for one thing... And yet, after review, I have several... So thanks for your patience... I do believe what I came up with is cumulative; doing one well gave me the courage and confidence to keep going. Is that true for everyone else, too?
My own high points... I co-ran the largest commercial sheep ranch in Western WA for several years - 600 head, on Lopez Island. Adopted a child with my ex-partner in Guatemala, on our own, not through an agency. She's nearly 28 now, and the mother of my 5 year old grandson! We did this in 1985, part of the early wave of lesbian couples adopting kids. (Our divorce did not go well, a whole other chain, but consequently, I am a vociferious advocate for legal marriage; I bore first hand the consequences of no legal rights.) http://www.equalrightswashington.org/.
Then co-established the non-profit to build a community land trust neighborhood with six other families; literally, we built the houses. I'm a pretty bad carpenter... but a damn good organizer! It is the first one in WA state, and now, 20 years later, is still going strong, winning national awards, and has just finished its fourth housing project. www.lopezclt.org.
Lived through being a stepmom for 15+ years (and counting) under some middlingly bad circumstances, not the worst, but pretty crazy stuff from stepkids' mom. I often did not behave very well, either... http://www.wednesdaymartin.com/
I have just achieved my lifelong dream, well, my adult lifelong dream, of being the ED of a national organization... albeit a really small one! But one that can make a difference to those we touch. And I am enjoying it too! www.cohousing.org.
(My childhood dream was to have a cat farm, and take in every stray I could find; my sis & I used to tell our mom we were going to do this, and 'she couldn't say no!'. Now I am the neighborhood cat lady, feeding the ferals & taking in their kittens.)
Lastly, I am in a long term, committed relationship that sure is different than what I imagined (it's with a man, for starters; I was an out lesbian for 21 years), and because of this relationship, I have dedicated myself to improving my emotional functioning, and moving myself up the ladder of differentiation. In other words, growing up. http://www.thebowencenter.org/pages/murraybowen.html
I appreciate the opportunity to list those things out loud. I wake up many a day feeling anxious about some aspects of my life, notable the financial aspects, and forget that I have actually had & continue to have some great adventures & fun in my life. I am pretty nearly the person I want to be...
Never thought I would get through raising 3 kids without a 'cide. You know, homicide, suicide, etc. Two down and just over 2 years to go on the last DD. I'd say its even odds right now, but already farther along than I planned.
Always figured I would be self-employed: my dad was a serial entrepreneur so its in my genes. The surprising thing is that I never thought we'd start up more than one or two businesses. The kids counted thirty-some different business cards from our start-ups last Christmas time. Some worked better than others to be sure. One lasted over 20 years before we sold out and is still a going concern, several others didn't get a lot farther along than having business cards printed up. Either way I still get a charge out of the energy generated starting something up.
Gregg, I LOL'd at the 'cide comment. A-yup. Glad we've both made it to the "other side", as it were.
Adopting two boys. There simply is no half-measure when deciding such. It's all or nothing. The long days and late nights I put in, packing things upstairs- from down, washing and scrubbing things, i.e., the baby cribs, bottles, etc, laundering baby clothes, folding and stacking diapers, organizing and crunching space to accommodate the two new little people (and all their things). Talk about a mixed-bag of emotions.
goldensmom
1-31-12, 6:46am
1. Got married.
2. Inherited the family farm and am operating it. When I was young only boys/men inherited the farm. I got it, however, by default as the boys didn't want it. Worked out okay for me.
goldensmom
1-31-12, 7:04am
Adopting two boys.
Pressing the 'like' button.
Wow.....this is so cool, and so inspiring!!
There seem to be several categories:
Geographical adventures: Charity, CathyA, pinkytoe: Loved hearing the details of your experiences! It's a shame we get older and all the "what ifs" (What if there's no one to help me? What if I wind up with no money?) hold us back. You guys have proven that you can have an interesting adventure and come out on the other side despite the uncertainty.
Then people who have done work-related things they thought they could never do: FloatOn... wow, you have processed chickens??? Can't imagine what the first time was like. Goldensmom, stepping into a family farm and picking up that responsibility had to have been scary on several levels: can I do it, and do I WANT to do it...
Some have gotten over phobias: Shalom Poet and CathyA, good for you for "feeling the fear and doing it anyway."
Peggy, getting over a smoking addiction is no small feat. I've had a lot of people around me who were addicted to smoking, and I've seen how hard it is to quit. But congratulations! I wish all the smokers in my life could do that.
Folkypoet, the fear of putting yourself out there if you are an artist is really overwhelming. To suspend your own fear and self-judgment and let the world be the judge and jury is so hard--but look at you!! The world has shown that your poems are far from "crap"!
Then, there's the people who stepped in when leadership was called for: Gregg, wow, I didn't know that your entrepreneurship extended to so many businesses! It must be so much fun to have an idea and execute it--despite the risk! redfox, I've always known you must be out there making a mark, and it sure looks like you are! In many ways... Thanks for listing several of your accomplishments--certainly inspirational.
Finally, those who count love as a wonderful, yet fearful thing to live out in action. Again, redfox, it's great when you can look at yourself and not be handcuffed by set beliefs about yourself; you can be fluid and accepting of yourself as changes in your life dictate. That takes real courage... Others have talked about getting married and raising kids as being something they thought they couldn't do--who said love is easy? It's not--it's difficult. But so worth it if it's the right call.... Mrs-M, you have done what I consider to be the most selfless act of love and sacrifice.. changing the course of your own life to give others a chance at a good one! Your boys are so lucky that one day you and your DH asked yourselves, "Could we actually DO this?" And you said YES.
All in all, it's all about the YES in life. You guys are so totally awesome!
Catherine you put that so nicely!
I thought of more things.
Never thought I'd have my photography published but my photos of my husbands glass has made it into art trade magazines (Niche, American Style, Crafts Report), the most recent one was in a Midwest Living magazine, my photos have also been on billboards around Chicago and LittleRock and Indianapolis and also on posters and t-shirts and other promo items to promote various art shows.
I never thought I'd be on national TV but I was on 60 minutes for a brief moment in time. In the early 90's they came to Branson and did a big article about the area. At the time I was working an extra part-time job (saving for that 20% downpayment for our house - back in the days when people had to have a downpayment) as an usher at a music show. I was the opening scene on the 60 minutes article. I opened the doors of Presley's Theater and said "Welcome to Branson!"
Never thought I'd own a business, at our height of business we were in over 200 american craft shops and galleries and I was turning down orders. That has drastically changed in the economic downturn.
Reading everyones comments I'm now thinking about things I wanted to do but haven't gotten around to doing yet.
Originally posted by Float On.
Catherine you put that so nicely!Yes, she most certainly did. :) Lovely stories.
I never in a million years thought I could quit smoking.
Your comment reminded me that I managed to quit smoking too - fifteen years ago after smoking since my teen years. At the time, it seemed impossible...
treehugger
1-31-12, 2:53pm
As a child and a teen, I never thought I would get married, having grown up with parents who hated each other. Then, as an older teen and then a young adult in a serious relationship, I still thought that Joe and I wouldn't marry, because we had a good thing going and getting married would just ruin that (Joe's parents were divorced as well). But, we decided to get married anyway (when I was 21; geez, why would anyone get married that young??). And now, almost 16 years later, we are still going strong. It's still kind of a mystery to me how this has happened. But that's OK; I like mysteries.
This is the only thing that I can think of related to the topic. I haven't done a lot of really exciting or impressive things. My kidney donation doesn't count because I never had any doubt that I could do that.
Kara
Originally posted by Pinkytoe.
Your comment reminded me that I managed to quit smoking too - fifteen years ago after smoking since my teen years. At the time, it seemed impossible...Joining in, too, to express my ups-and-downs with quitting. I smoked for around 25 years (or so), started in my mid-teens, and have been a non-smoker for roughly three years now. Don't miss it, don't want it, don't even think about it now. Occasionally, I'll talk with others who either smoke or have quit, and sometimes I'll get, "how did you manage to keep such clean, white teeth"? "Pure luck" I always tell them, and I'll take it!
Joining in, too, to express my ups-and-downs with quitting. I smoked for around 25 years (or so), started in my mid-teens, and have been a non-smoker for roughly three years now. Don't miss it, don't want it, don't even think about it now. Occasionally, I'll talk with others who either smoke or have quit, and sometimes I'll get, "how did you manage to keep such clean, white teeth"? "Pure luck" I always tell them, and I'll take it!
I'll tell you, quitting smoking was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'd rather give birth again than quit smoking! For years i dreamed about it. The intense craving stopped after a month or two, but I'd dreamed of smoking for at least 5 years after. I'd dream i started smoking and would be so mad and disappointed in myself, but when i woke, I was so relieved! I know a drug habit is hard to quit, but I'd put that up to a smoking habit any day. I completely empathize with anyone trying to quit.
What one thing....
...did you decide to do in your life that you really didn't think you could do but wound up surprising yourself and doing it?
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I've done alot of adventurerous (and many scary, crazy, and downright stupid) things both personally and professionally - and have talked about many of them here before (and shown photos!!) - all my life. In most cases I always felt confident that I could do whatever I wanted with no problems, and I always deeply yearned for an adventurous life - even as a little kid - so it all felt comfortable to me. However, choosing to get married was a huge leap of faith for me. I never wanted to get married or desired it - felt it would severely undercut my adventurous life - so ran from anything remotely smacking of marriage, home, white picket fenceville. But to my very pleasant suprise, I met a guy while i was in the Coast Guard (who was also in the CG - both of us shipboard engineers) who not only accepted me for who I was, but loved and respected me for who and what I was and did. He didn't want me to be any different then I was and had no desire to make me change my life. That was a truelly unusual thing to find in a man back in the late '70's (married in '81). We are divorced now but it was a great relationship while it lasted (almost 20 years). Of course if you saw me at my wedding you would have seen true unmasked fear in my eyes. Had serious second thoughts and I was about to bolt. It took all my will (and a few stiff drinks) to make me stay put. See, us girls get cold feet too ;-)!
Originally posted by Peggy.
I'll tell you, quitting smoking was the hardest thing I've ever done.I second that. Like Pinkytoe and yourself, I, too, felt as though I would never be able to quit. One thing that played absolute psychological havoc on me, was being told (by others) that I wouldn't be able to quit. Wrong!
http://sausandesigns.com/forum/images/smilies/nono-1-1.gif
Of course if you saw me at my wedding you would have seen true unmasked fear in my eyes. Had serious second thoughts and I was about to bolt. It took all my will (and a few stiff drinks) to make me stay put. See, us girls get cold feet too ;-)!
It was probably a similar picture at my wedding! DW's two young kids seemed pretty happy about the long haired, crazy guy with the guitar that was about to be their dad. Their about-to-be-dad was crazy about them, but scared ****less. DW never said as much, but there's little room for doubt she wondered just what the hell she was doing. And yet here we are still hanging on with both those kids graduated from college and with wonderful SO's of their own. Life is good!
A salute to those who kicked tobacco. A can of Copenhagen wore through the back pocket of every pair of jeans I had for 30 years. Almost no one smoked as a teen where I grew up, but almost all the boys and a few of the girls indulged in smokeless tobacco. This June 13 will mark seven years without it. The fact that I know that should provide a clue. I'm envious of you who don't miss it and have told DW many times that if a study were to come out saying that it wasn't bad for you afterall I could not get to 7-11 to buy a can fast enough. I don't obsess about it when the alarm goes off any more, but gosh just one little dip would be so nice right now...
Originally posted by Gregg.
A can of Copenhagen wore through the back pocket of every pair of jeans I had for 30 years.ROTFLMAO!!! This is my laugh for the day!
This is a great thread; very inspiring. Catherine, what you said about saying YES brought tears to my eyes.
I am going to think about what I have said "yes" to that I might have avoided...And perhaps more important, ask myself if there is something that I am not saying "yes" to that could be a life-changer?
Thank you, everyone.
Most of the things I'm amazed to have done I wouldn't have, had I thought about them first.
I drove an old VW bug, sans heater, defroster, or traction tires over ten miles up and over Skyline Boulevard in an ice storm and arrived at my destination without injury to myself or the car. Scared to death.
I, along with a handful of other women, integrated a previously all-male workplace. We weren't exactly greeted with open arms...After a year or so I was training people. I was determined to make a decent living for myself, and I did.
I moved to a state where I knew no one to take a job that disappeared a year or two later. Fortunately, I wasn't laid off.
Probably the most daunting thing I've ever done was dealing with my mother's last weeks. Everything about that (including driving back and forth from Seattle to Portland weekly in the same ancient VW) was grueling. In the middle of that, I took on a new--and ultimately doomed--job. Then I went back to school to study technical writing and editing.
When I bought the afore-mentioned car, I couldn't drive a stick shift. After a quick lesson from the salesman, I was off in rush-hour traffic. I didn't get out of second gear for a month. Now that I think about it, that car and I went through a lot together.
It was probably a similar picture at my wedding! DW never said as much, but there's little room for doubt she wondered just what the hell she was doing.
LOL! I think most men feel this way (and probably my DH too) but alot of women do too - we just don't admit it. I mean it IS suppose to be our "happiest day ever" :-)! I was too young and no where near ready to be married (and probably would never be ready anyways) but DH and I "had" to get married. We were both in the coast guard but stationed on ships 1500 miles apart and the only way they would station us near each other was if we were married. And since we both had 6 years in and both planned to stay for 20, we decide that was the way to go. Of course even after we were married it took a year for one of us to get transfered to a unit near the other. So our first year of marriage was spent living apart.
I, along with a handful of other women, integrated a previously all-male workplace. We weren't exactly greeted with open arms
Ditto for me (one of the first females in the regular (non-reserve) CG, one of the first on a ship, 3rd female engineer (ship's mechanic) in the CG and one of the first female engineers aboard a ship, one of the first female rescue swimmers, gunners, firefighter, etc... etc...etc...)! But eventually I was accepted (not that I cared if I was accepted or not as long as I wasn't impeded and could do my job) and hope that I helped open doors for the women who came after me and made it easier for them.
Gosh, you guys, great stories!
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