About to go boldly out on a limb

[boss mare]

Or to go boldly where I have never gone before... LOL
Backstory....
My mom and bio dad got divorced when I was 4 months old I spoke to him once on the phone when I was 19 years old I never met him in person... Mom and I never recieved any child support. He died in 1981 of complications due to alcoholism at age 43
My mother and grandmother and I were all together from the time I was 4 months old until I was 9 years old until my mom met my step dad in 1968
In 1969 my half sister was born... And she has been coddled ever since... to this day..... Still.........
They have bailed her out over and over and over financially
I left home at 17 and only moved back for one month while I was waiting for my current house to close in 2003
As I have posted in past posts I show horses
I have a great show record and a great trainer They are one of the nations top trainers in Appaloosas and Paint horses www.bakerstable.com
I have been with them for 21 years
I have a new horse He will get me there I know why I have not gotten a World or National Championship and have gotten the Reserve instead This horse can do what it takes to get the winning run
And I want to go to the Appaloosa World Show in 2013.. I went in 2009 and got 1 Reserve World Championship Two 3rd placings one finalist and a 7th placing
I have gone to the Appaloosa Nationals 3 times ( 1995, 1998 and 2004) and have placed in all of my classes with 2004 with 2 reserve National Championships
I am going to do what I never thought I would do.... ask my parents for the money to help me get to the 2013 Appaloosa World Show.
MY sister has never ever set a goal and acheived it... I have been with a winning team and I don't quit when the going gets tough like she does
I am meeting with them on Feb 22 They know this I have told them

[rodeosweetheart]

I looked at your trainers website and what beautiful, beautiful horses! I can see why this is a winning stable. It's so great to have goals with our horses. I honestly don't know anything about the show world, but it's very apparent that a great deal of time and effort goes into this to succeed at this level of competition. Brava to you for achieving so much already with your horses!

[leslieann]

boss mare, I wish you well. It is much easier to ask for something if you are not full of resentment in advance. Can you let go of how you feel your parents treated your sister (vs. you) while you are asking them for their help? They of course have the choice to help or not to help and I get that it is a Big Deal to ask them for help. But if you can let go of any idea that they OWE you help because they helped your sister so much, or because you are goal oriented and she isn't, you'll find the whole process much more palatable and I suspect they might be more supportive. It is a lot easier to be supportive of someone who will be appreciative than someone who is feeling entitled and resentful.

I might be reading too much into what you wrote. I am not trying to be offensive here. I understand that it is hard to ask for help, especially since you don't do it often. And it is certainly okay to say that! I am just suggesting that the help that they have given your sister is irrelevant to the question at hand.

I sure hope you get to do what you want to do! Sounds like you have done all kinds of homework....and I hope that you have a few options available for financial support.

All the best.....

[peggy]

Are there financial benefits to going to and winning at this show? Perhaps point those out to your parents. Good luck!

[merince]

I wish you success, boss mare! There is a lot that needs to be done to get you there in 2013 and you seem to be ready. Keep us updated!

[chrisgermany]

I would ask but prepare myself for the worst and also work out some alternative proposals:
Prepare a solid plan to pay back what they might chip in.
If they cannot/do not want to provide money, would they be willing to co-sign a loan?
If they cannot/do not want to provide money or co-sign, is there anything they could buy from you to provide some money to you and you would buy it back later?
They might have sacrificed their retirement nest egg for your sister and now feel that they cannot afford to do something for you.
Good luck!

[redfox]

You & your sister are different people with different life paths. Please consider dropping any comparisons, and ask for support on your merits, not on your perception of her life.

[boss mare]

Finally have had time to respond back
I am not going in there with a " tit for tat " reponse or atitude I will be going in there with a plan ... I have print outs of all of my past horses show records and horses that I have bred ( with the short breeding program that I did have) thier show records A cost break down of what this endeavor will cost... I am hoping to get some help with this ... I don't expect my parents to foot the entire bill That would be asking wwwaayyy to much
Peggy..... there is some money in showing but not very much... not enough to even make a dent in the costs... in 2009 I hauled two other horses beisdes my own and that did help off set some of the costs of going to the world show ( It is held in Ft Worth TX and I live in WA , so travleing/gas prices is one of the biggest costs) I could stand a chance of breaking even if I sold my horse if he did do well at the 2013 World Show but the last time I sold one of my special "heart horses" ( and not all of my horses are heart horses) I had separation anxiety big time and I don't want to go through that again ( and neither does my DH) My horse, truck, trailer and all of my tack is all paid for so I just need help with the on going training expenses
I have my plane tickets ( they do the snowbird thing) for Yuma on and even if they can't/won't help me .. It will be great to have some nice weather even if it is only for a few days

[peggy]

Hmm....not to be too harsh but, I think you need a plan B. You're going to ask your parents to blow (presumably thousands) of dollars on your hobby. Unless they just have that much to blow, or they also raise/train/show horses and share your interest, I wouldn't expect too much. And it's not rejection of you if they can't/won't. Please don't see it that way. You value your horses and showing them, but do your parents? Can you expect them to?
Also, just because you think they have money in the bank, keep in mind that they are facing retirement and increasing health care costs, even if they have insurance. Plus they have to have a roof, food, insurance, utilities, just like everyone else, even beyond their capability to work. What I'm trying to say is, don't expect too much.
This show is at least a year away. Maybe if you sat down with your husband now and worked out a plan, you could find a way to do it. Good luck.

[Gregg]

You have a shot at a lifelong dream. Don't let anything get in your way. Do whatever it takes to get there!!! We all can use a hand once in a while, there is no shame in that. If you can't raise all the money to get there on your own then ask them to help with the difference. If you can plan and scrimp and save it on your own, so much the better. GOOD LUCK!!!

[larknm]

If you can ask without pressuring them or overwhelming them, you're more likely to get something, I'd think. I hope you get what you want. I hope you can deal with their turning you down if they do and not have it be a big deal. At least that would be hard for me--part of why it's hard to ask for things.