View Full Version : How so you handle stress or feeling yucky?
Recently, I had to deal with a health issue that had some associated discomfort. When I thought about it, I found that I usually rest, listen to music and go to bed early after I eat some comfort food which is not low-carb.:sick:
For stress - if there are some big decisions to be made, I will escape in a good book first and then look at the situation with fresh eyes and usually get some good ideas on resolution to propose. I find that I have to first formulate the problem in manageable parts.:idea:
How do you handle feeling yucky or stressed?
domestic goddess
2-9-12, 2:20pm
I listen to music, read, or work on a craft project. Any oif those can engage my mind and keep me from obsessing on the problem. You can tell at any time how stressed I've been by the number of craft projects I have in progress. Right now I have only one, and I started that one out of boredom.
Work-out or do something physical. That is the ONLY thing that works for me. I get more restless just sitting quietly listening to music or reading, I need to do something to tire my body out and quiet my mind. That endorphin high cures just about everything IMHO!
Anything attitude-changing. A very hard workout sometimes works, a long walk (more than 2 hours) with a good book plugged into my ears, and sometimes even a movie. I remember seeing "Waking Ned Devine" once when I was sure I had a life-ending illness, and came out of the theatre into the light feeling like I could handle anything. Weird. I also take calcium, magnesium, and a big B complex. And I listen to guided meditations, like Pema Chodron or Sharon Salzburg. I just experiment and find what works for a given stressor.
It feels good to me not to allow myself to be a victim of stress -- to have weapons to fight back, rather than just lying there in a lump. Life is too short.
ApatheticNoMore
2-9-12, 2:51pm
I like massages, ok I don't get them as often as I'd like, it's not every time I've had one bad day or something or soon it would be my entire paycheck :). But if weeks of stress have been piling up, I'd consider. Because that physical joy is just a counter to stuff. Ok life is bleak, and everything sucks and your life or the world is going to heck in a handbasket, and hey that *might* even all be intellectually true at any given moment (optimists say it never is but I don't agree). But ..... JOY IS IN THE BODY. I believe that. The body is a counter to the woes of the mind (maybe not severe grief or something but I'm just assuming we're talking "stress" here).
Sadly, sugar, which I learned yesterday, releases dopamine. No wonder it works! SInce I am in the midst of a weight loss process (and successful so far!), sugar needs to be replaced with something else... exercise is probably what I need... looking forward to other responses.
Depends on the type of stress. If I'm chewing over an emotional issue, like worrying about a confrontation, I find that scrubbing or doing some other mindless repetitive chore works best. If its general overload, a nap, a long walk, some yoga and meditation or being outside in nature helps. If its just winter blues, a cup of tea in my greenhouse works best.
Up until last year, I was in a very stressful situation with my ex-husband. About a year ago, I stumbled upon Buddhism. I had no idea.... If only I'd found out years ago! I highly recommend dipping a toe in (or diving in headfirst). I can't imagine regretting it. That said, about three years ago, I wrote a blog post about how I dealt with stress. Warning: it's long. :o)
_________________________________________
I can be a wound up girl, sometimes. I've gotten to a place in my life where I'm centered and calm, for the most part, and if you were to ask anyone who's met me in the past year, they'd tell you I live a slow, tranquil, happy life. For years, though, I was unable to deal with the everyday. This was a shameful thing for me, and I hid it well. Okay, pretty well. I kept it all inside, flooding my body with anxiety and guilt. (Oh, the guilt....) It spilled out from time to time, but mostly, I kept it all for myself.
I probably would never have de-stressed otherwise, but I found out a little over a year ago that I had to tone down the constant hum of my anxiety for health reasons. I just can't afford to let myself be stressed for any length of time.
Striving for a stress-free life was difficult. I didn't know where to begin. So, I started with the obvious. I had a career that was causing me so much stress, it was almost laughable. I was completely unable to shake off that anxiety, even for a moment. The weight of it was crushing. So, I quit. No bells and whistles. No floundering back and forth. No working less or trying to be more efficient. I just quit and then found myself a no-stress retail job. After the guilt that inevitably comes with quitting (and the subsequent drop in income) subsided, I could finally breathe again.
Then, of course, I looked around and saw that while I had been battling career anxiety, the rest of the world around me had crumbled into little piles of rubble, as well. More stress. Oops.
So, I thought a bit and convinced myself that peace really does begin at home. And when I say at home, I mean within me. Being so anxious and stressed, I really wasn't peaceful, at all, and I was tainting my little family with my apprehensions. I realized that, even in the midst of turbulence and unease - heck, even in the midst of tragedy - there is peace somewhere. I just had to find it and focus on it, bring it out of the woodwork and give it a prominent place in my life. This was a huge realization for me. If I could find that peace and hang onto it, things would fall into place - or, at least, I'd be able to deal with them.
So, I started a list of all the things that made me feel peaceful, and any time I felt uneasy, I employed some of the tactics on the list until I was calm again, until my world was righted and I was again that mild, peaceful woman I strive to be. That list has grown quite a bit over the last year. Just in case you, dearest reader, are where I used to be, here are some of the things that have helped me through the rough patches:
Music. I'm very affected by music, so when I'm stressed, I choose calming songs that have no real emotional ties for me. Some of my favorites for de-stressing are Hem, Nick Drake, Iron & Wine, Alexi Murdoch.... That sort of thing. Soothing. I also find myself drawn to music from my childhood - Warren Zevon, Simon and Garfunkel, Bill Quateman....
Candles. Cheesy, I know, but something about candles is very peaceful to me. So, I set a candle on top of my piano (probably the most beautiful spot in the house), turn down the lights, lie back on the couch, and watch the flame - sometimes for hours if that's what it takes.
Taking a walk by myself around the block. If it's nighttime, I bring along one of the dogs. Fresh air is my friend, but exercise feels like a chore. Walking, however, as long as it's not too fast, doesn't feel like exercise, so I enjoy it.
Sitting out on the front porch. We have only the pretense of a porch, but it's big enough for a chair. If it's raining, all the better. Rain is very soothing to me.
Thrift store browsing. Don't ask my why, but something about thrift stores calms me, so I go with it. Maybe it's all these cast-off items huddling together on a shelf just waiting for the right person to discover them. It's like a thousand little fairy tales.
Rescue Remedy. Even if it's a placebo effect, it helps.
Getting enough - but not too much - sleep. I have a tendency to oversleep, rather than get up and deal with my stressors, and this is just as bad as not sleeping long enough. It makes me groggy and less able to deal with life.
Talking to myself. Really. Especially if I'm driving alone or taking a shower. I can talk up a storm. And, for some reason, this helps tremendously - whether it's talking about whatever's stressing me out or talking about something completely different.
Petting the animals and really focusing on their enjoyment of it.
Reading. If I'm not too stressed, this works great. If I'm uber-stressed, though, I tend to gloss over the words without really taking them in.
Herbal tea. This works in conjunction with everything else. If I'm sitting down with a cup of chamomile or cinnamon tea, my body relaxes, and I feel like I'm treating myself to something special.
Movies. There are certain movies that can calm me down just about any time. Jimmy Stewart's Harvey, Harold and Maude, Pretty in Pink, Broadcast News, Audrey Hepburn's Sabrina....
Reminding myself that at X time, this will all be just a memory. Works well for those stresses that are leading up to something and will then be over.
Snacking while focusing completely on the flavor and texture of what I'm eating. Even if it's only a few bites, this seems to help.
Considering the worst possible scenario. It's almost never worth the amount of stress the situation causes me, so this works well most of the time. Every once in a while, though, it makes me even more stressed, so be careful with this one.
Driving aimlessly. Bad for the environment, but good for my soul, somehow.
Singing along with music. For me, focusing on the music and my voice is extremely calming and centering. This is one of my talents, and I know it, so focusing on it doesn't make me feel even worse. I work to form each word and tone exactly the way the singer does. It's my own little voice exercise, I guess, and it takes my mind off whatever is bothering me.
Keeping a home management binder. I feel so much more organized with everything in one place, and feeling organized helps me be organized. Not sure how that works, but it does.
Simplifying. This is one for the long haul, but I've found that the simpler and less complicated my everyday life is, the less stressed I feel. De-cluttering, cutting down on commitments, etc. - these sorts of things really have helped a lot.
Keeping the house clean. This was hard to do at the height of my stress, but I knew that a messy house, for me at least, just breeds more stress and guilt. It's hard to function in. I started with my living room. It was my little spot, and I could go there to calm down. Just having that one spot where I liked to sit feel clean and pretty made a big difference. If I were sitting in my bedroom, all I'd see were things that needed to be done. I had to have just one space that didn't really need anything.
Having a stash of money saved up. I didn't realize how much money worries were affecting me until I started really saving for a rainy day. Once I had enough saved up to get us through bad times (should they come), I felt this huge weight lifted. Just knowing that we're covered in case of an emergency means so much and has such an impact on my stress level.
Admitting when I feel overwhelmed and asking for help. This was hard for me, as I'm a little bit of a control freak. But, not having everything on my shoulders really has changed my stress level quite a bit.
Of course, none of these is as important as going easy on myself. So what if I didn't get the dishes done or the article finished? So what if the house is a wreck? So what if I forgot to pay a bill? These things aren't all that important. My health is. My family having an unstressed, healthy mama is important, too.
And, perhaps most importantly, I've gotten rid of unnecessary stresses in my life. In addition to quitting my job, I've lowered some of my standards, stopped talking to people that made me feel tense, actually *did* some of the things that I felt guilt for not doing (like going vegan after being vegetarian and feeling guilty for 19 years, or writing to my grandmother every week, or actually losing the weight), etc. I also took a hiatus from the computer. My earlier career was computer based, and so, the computer ended up being a big part of my stress. I decided to take a couple of months off. When I came back, I emptied my email folder and started anew. That made a huge difference. I told people no more emails, and now my inbox isn't so daunting. In fact, I generally get it to zero on a daily basis. I'm also better able to hop on for a few minutes and hop right back off. Before, I was spending hours on the computer each day in order, I think, to neglect other parts of my life. Not consciously, of course, but it still had the same effect. After taking the break, my computer usage is much more balanced and helpful (rather than detrimental).
So, now you know my little secret. Peace doesn't come naturally to me. I have to work hard at it, and even then, sometimes, I fail. But, I keep trying, and I have to say, I'm enjoying my life, again. It's wonderful to wake up and not feel like burrowing back under the covers to hide from the inevitable. I can stare each day in the face and smile. The weight I'd carried around for so long is nearly gone, now. It's an amazing feeling.
Work-out or do something physical. That is the ONLY thing that works for me. I get more restless just sitting quietly listening to music or reading, I need to do something to tire my body out and quiet my mind. That endorphin high cures just about everything IMHO!
This is how I am too. Its my nature to eat some carby food and curl up in a ball, but that only makes things worse. I have to release physical energy to feel better.
Gardenarian
2-9-12, 4:28pm
Thanks Folkypoet for the great list! I tend to curl up with a book and go into denial when I'm feeling bad, but that is not always that smartest solution. You've given me some ideas on other ways to cope.
:thankyou:
I love the lists...one I do when weather permits is walking through one of the local botanical gardens. Even when stuff isn't in bloom, there are textures and other colors to appreciate.
Over the years I have learned to create balance in my life related to stress and solitude. Prevention, is the key. Not allowing oneself to be altered or affected by stress is the magic bullet.
Key touch-points related to prevention:
Learning to slow down.
Recognizing when stress is closing in.
Removing oneself from, and/or, avoiding situations that encourage/heighten stress.
Finding a proven solid method to re-calibrate oneself after a stressful event. i.e. Downtime, reading, a nap, quiet-time, etc.
Ensure a proper/balanced diet/nutrition along with adequate sleep.
Actively involving oneself in an activity that helps reduce stress and pent-up energy/frustration. i.e. A brisk evening walk, a bike ride, a swim, etc.
I love to take long hot baths and take a book into the tub with me. I've never dropped a book and you can even put a Kindle into a gallon size Ziplock bag and it works very well.
And sleep.
For me, long hot baths and sleep are stress reducers. And a nice cup of tea.
For stress exercise is important to me, talking a walk, doing yoga. It can also be helpful for me to take some time and write about what I am feeling, what's troubling me, what outcome I would like to see...it's a way of giving voice to the feelings. And sometimes I resort to chocolate.
As for illness I just usually keep a low profile. Luckily I am seldom ill.
Mindfulness, breathing, and living in the moment.. Nothing like absorbing yourself in the present moment to forget about past and future illusions.
ETA: Coincidentally I got this quote from Richard Rohr in my inbox today:
The contemplative secret is to learn to live in the now. The now is not as empty as it might appear to be or that we fear it may be. Try to realize that everything is right here, right now. When we’re doing life right, it means nothing more than it is right now, because God is in this moment in a non-blaming way. When we are able to experience that, taste it and enjoy it, we don’t need to hold on to it. The next moment will have its own taste and enjoyment.
Because our moments are not tasted or full or real or in the Presence, we are never full. We create artificial fullness and try to hang on to that. But there’s nothing to hold on to when we begin to taste the fullness of the now. God is either in this now or God isn’t at all. This moment is as perfect as it can be.
AmeliaJane
2-10-12, 12:11pm
I have a very "busy brain" so I have learned that a few minutes of an absorbing computer game can help me turn that off and get a rest from whatever problem I am chewing over. After a certain point I get bored and ready to get back to whatever else I was doing, so I don't worry about overindulging. Also, a good book, but "rereads" seem to work better because I can slip right into them. With a new book, sometimes it takes awhile to get into the story, and that's not what I'm looking for at a super-stress time.
Sad Eyed Lady
2-10-12, 1:08pm
Depends on the source of the stress. Massage, (but that's a rare treat), getting by myself in quiet, walking, and if I am really upset there is nothing like getting in my car and just driving - especially old back roads with no destination, just going.
Bad solution: Anything with large amounts of carbs, fat, and salt (or sometimes sugar, but I usually crave salty things). Yes, potato chips are the first thing I start craving when the stress meter ticks up.
Good solutions:
Time by myself. I am an introvert so I get stressed out if I haven't had enough alone time. When I start feeling it, I will find a way to get away.
Exercise. This has become a major outlet for me over the past year. My stress levels go up noticably when I haven't been able to work out for a few days. I often resist going to the gym and getting on the treadmill, but once I'm 10 minutes in I can usually keep going. Good music at an appropriate tempo really helps. there is one song on the Jogtunes mix I have been listening to lately that is just the right tempo, with a good driving riff and really inspirational lyrics, that is my absolute favorite running song. I can kick up the speed, really push it through the chorus, and at the end of tha 4 minute song I'm feeling pretty good. I need to create a 30 minute mix that will carry me all the way through my run with that feeling.
Sleep. My stress levels are at their worst when I am not getting enough sleep. But unfortunately it is kind of a vicious circle, where stress makes me get insomnia (waking up at 2-3 in the morning with my brain spinning about things). After a day or two of that I'm a wreck. But also so exhausted that I can fall asleep at 7pm the next night, which I sometimes do. Things are usually better after I've had a good 10 hours.
Reading. This kind of fits into alone time. If I'm stressed out, I'll often head to bed early and do a good 30 minutes to an hour of reading on a fun topic.
lhamo
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