View Full Version : What is it about sexting?
Our community has had an media explosion about highschool girls sending email photos of themselves nude to boys. One boy had received about 140 pictures of 'sexy' self pictures from girls on his phone. He was getting overwhelmed and asked for advice from his parents. His mother spoke to the school principal who almost denied that there was a problem of any kind but the parent went to the media to get some resolution as we pay for every text message on phone packages. Canada's phone and internet plans are expensive when compared to the global prices.
In addition, someone took a picture from the phone to the internet and posted it without consent and this constitutes porn.
Now the school and media are saying that this is a problem everywhere.
http://www.thegrio.com/news/are-teen-girls-driving-the-sexting-culture.php
What are you hearing on this? I had never heard about it before.
loosechickens
2-14-12, 11:46pm
Ah, those hormones.........and with whole new and exciting ways to engage them.........
In so many ways, we have a society that rates girls and young women on whether they are "hot", then seem to be surprised when they seem to think that the best thing they have to offer is sex, nude pics of themselves, and "do it yourself" Hustler smartphone editions.....
It's sad.....so is the "hook-up" culture, so is the emphasis on sex, sex, sex that permeates our advertising, movies, tv, etc., but to live in our society and then be surprised at this seems disingenuous.......
yep, I think it's everywhere.......and girls are feeling what they THINK is "power" of their sexuality, so are ripe for that being exploited as they compete for boys as to who is the "hottest".
I guess it IS a far cry from the fifties advice from OUR moms, that girls were NEVER to call a boy, but to always wait for HIM to call, hahahaha. I guess those fifties housewives would have heart failure at how forward today's girls are in "advertising their wares"........
mtnlaurel
2-14-12, 11:57pm
And it's not just the kids....
I graduated high school in the late 80s and there are people in my age group that are into this.
Well, Anthony Weiner (born 64), Brett Favre (born 69) come to mind immediately.
It's like technology has unleashed everyone's inner porn star.
It's rampant. I hear stories from my kids (all the time) that quite literally shock me. Some stuff I would never dream of repeating. It's as if the younger generation has grown to have no morals, no standards, and no shame. Anything/everything goes.
What amazes me is there seems to be no fear of text or pictures falling into the wrong hands--posts that can paint a lurid picture of a job or college applicant for anyone who Googles their name. On the bright side, this could be a bonanza for future genealogists! (Wow--that's Grandma?!):0!
LOL, JaneV2.0! Isn't that the truth.
Teens. Hormones. Opportunity.
fidgiegirl
2-15-12, 8:56am
What amazes me is there seems to be no fear of text or pictures falling into the wrong hands--posts that can paint a lurid picture of a job or college applicant for anyone who Googles their name. On the bright side, this could be a bonanza for future genealogists! (Wow--that's Grandma?!):0!
Hahahahahaha!
I hate to sound like a broken record.........but its hard to be civilized! We're always fighting those natural instincts, in order to not be considered an animal. I guess we're going backwards in the "civilized" department. "Back to our roots" you could say. I'm not saying letting everyone behave like animals is good........its just alot of work! Seems like the next generation is having more trouble staying civilized than we did.
I think alot of the problem is that the parents weren't there to guide them. There's no way on earth my kids would even consider sexting. Plus......they don't have phones that can take pictures!
It IS hard being "civilized" and fighting those urges............especially when the money-makers are constantly inventing ways to make those urges easier to live out.
Ok..........I'll get off my soapbox.
And, in related news:
"Maine high school football coach posts nude photo of himself on Facebook page, is fired"
(Washington Post headline)
folkypoet
2-15-12, 12:40pm
It's sad.....so is the "hook-up" culture, so is the emphasis on sex, sex, sex that permeates our advertising, movies, tv, etc., but to live in our society and then be surprised at this seems disingenuous.......
+1
treehugger
2-15-12, 1:10pm
Hearing and reading about this kind of thing makes me glad there weren't cell phones or Facebook around when I was young and stupid. I doubt I would have been into sexting, but I certainly made bad decisions as a teen and, thanks to the lack of today's technology, there's no evidence of those bad decisions to come back to haunt me!
Kara
domestic goddess
2-15-12, 1:19pm
I think some people just need more to do. Honestly, if you have enough free time to sext, then you have too much free time, IMHO. I think most texting is a waste of time. I does have a convenience factor at times, but I get impatient with it real quickly.
Hearing and reading about this kind of thing makes me glad there weren't cell phones or Facebook around when I was young and stupid. I doubt I would have been into sexting, but I certainly made bad decisions as a teen and, thanks to the lack of today's technology, there's no evidence of those bad decisions to come back to haunt me!
KaraCount your blessings for being one of the lucky ones, however, I'm not so forgiving. We live in a totally backwards culture nowadays, where people have lost their scruples, their morals, and their standards, and IMO, that aspect needs fixing.
As Domestic Goddess so mentioned, people have too much time on their hands, and, from everything I am seeing, there's no where near the level of critical parental oversight in homes today. Strictness, has all but dried up and blown away, and kids (as far as I'm concerned) are being granted far too much freedom.
It's high time parents learned how to be parents again. Additionally, it's high-time society as a whole, started putting it's foot down on this sort of thing.
I made my share of bad decisions and pulled more than a few dumb stunts as a teen. Technology would have amplified those and allowed them to live beyond what was then a short shelf life. Now, every commercial, every sitcom, every magazine at the checkout counter constantly scream sex. Were the teen years not already confusing and scary enough so now we have to subject our kids with this constant assault? Kids will act out in ways designed to get them noticed by their peers. That hasn't changed. What's changed is that society lowered the bar regarding acceptable behavior and technology means their peer group might be a billion people.
Can't explain it, never experienced it, but if anyone want's my number.......
Oh Alan........you're such a tease...........:~)
Can't explain it, never experienced it, but if anyone want's my number.......
Good one.
LOL....that is too funny alan!
I am with you treehugger.....so very glad that camera phones were not around when I was young and dumb!
i truly think that one option is not giving teens cell phones.
i really don't see why they need them. we have a cell phone as our "land line" -- if we had a land line, we probably wouldn't have a cell phone. We have one that we share between us.
one of my friend's sons is 10. He has a fancier cell phone than we do. All of his friends have cell phones. I asked his dad why, and he said so that they could "stay in touch in case of emergencies." and i asked him what sorts of emergencies he was thinking about, and whether or not there were already contingencies in place for that (e.g., earthquake while the kid is at school). Yes, turns out there are. Turns out that the kid mostly spends $$$$$$ texting his friends about things 10 yr olds text about (i'm thinking it's toys, from the sounds of things). Dad budgets $50/mo for his kid to text about toys.
IDK, i think it's a parenting thing. LIke, I don't see any need for a teenager to have a cell phone. i suppose if the teen has a job, and after putting the money into a college fund or whatever, and has enough spending money left over, s/he can choose to buy a phone and a phone plan, but i'm not interested in a bail out.
i just don't see why it is at all necessary.
I think our oldest child got a cell phone when she was a junior or senior in high school. The school was 21 miles from home, so it seemed like a good idea. And she used it only for emergencies. I don't even think they had texting yet. At our extended family christmas get-together this year, one relative has 2 girls.......something like 12 and 17. They spent their entire evening texting, staring at their phones. It drove me nuts. Her father said to me "I can't stand them doing that all the time." I said, "Well, can't you just tell them they can't?" He just looked blankly at me like he hadn't even considered that. Another example of the tail wagging the dog.
Naughty, naughty, Alan! :laff:
Zoebird. For now, DH and I have chosen the option of not providing our kids with cell phones. If they so choose to work and pay for their own, so be it, but I quite like knowing my kids aren't mirroring the actions of other teens I see preoccupying themselves to the point of resembling social misfits.
@Zoebird- I can see a number of reasons for a teen to have a phone. Not a necessity, but certainly a convenience. First off, pay phones have pretty much disappeared. If your kid has to stay late at school, or missed the bus, or somehow changed the schedule, how else will he/she reach you? What if they are in sports or after school activities that might vary in time- do you as a parent wait extra or wait til the child calls you? What if you as the parent need to reach your kid because YOUR schedule has changed? If they are driving, what happens if their car dies? I think of some pretty horrible situations I was in as a teen that could have been avoided: walking miles on dark abandoned roads, getting into a car with another teen driver that I may not have trusted because I had no way to reach my parents...
Our youngest DD is 16 and driving. As a parent it makes me feel much more secure knowing she can get help if there is a breakdown or an accident and can alert us if she is running late or if plans change. I trust her to not text or chat while driving. We have a pact with her and several of her friends that if a parent calls while one of them is driving one of the other girls will answer. They all have parent's names on their caller ID's so they know when to turn the music down and can tell the boys to shut up if we call. If they are alone in a car they know to call back when stopped, not while moving.
@Zoebird- I can see a number of reasons for a teen to have a phone. Not a necessity, but certainly a convenience. First off, pay phones have pretty much disappeared. If your kid has to stay late at school, or missed the bus, or somehow changed the schedule, how else will he/she reach you?
The school administration office still has a land-line, and teachers are often there beyond 5:00, and if there are sports at the school, sometimes upwards to 7:00. And if there is evening programming for adults, then until 9:00. The student would have access to that land line.
What if they are in sports or after school activities that might vary in time- do you as a parent wait extra or wait til the child calls you?
Wait extra, or organize a car pool -- just like my mother used to do. Just like we do with younger children who aren't' old enough for cell phones.
What if you as the parent need to reach your kid because YOUR schedule has changed?
You can contact the school, or send an emissary (another person to get the kid), or contact the person with whom the child is staying, or similar. Same thing before the land and time of cell phones.
If they are driving, what happens if their car dies?
Same thing as we did before cell phones -- wait for someone to help, or walk to the nearest house/service station/etc, and get help.
Cell phones aren't necessarily "the answer" and from there, you know -- certain "locks" can be put on their use. IE, the child is only given the cell phone when in the car, for example, and it only had a call-out function to get help.
I really don't see why everyone seems to think that these are necessary. I have a child who is pre-cell phone age, and I wait all the time for his various activities or call the kindy/parent to let them know if i'm running late, etc. I don't see why it would be different for a teen.
perhaps maybe a 16-17 yr old would get one for these sorts of purposes, but it wouldn't be a fancy phone with unlimited minutes and texting and photographing and whatever other crap. If I want the kid to have the phone for MY convenience, it will be focused on MY convenience.
If I want the kid to have the phone for MY convenience, it will be focused on MY convenience.
Once you get down to the nut that is exactly what its about. But at the same time if you can give your kid something that might make them safer and will help you feel more secure for a couple bucks a month, why wouldn't you? We see it as a convenience and also a bit of an insurance policy. One of those things you hope you never need, but keep up the payments just in case. Our daughter knows better than to text at the dinner table or during other family times, but if she wants to keep up with her friends that way later in the evening what do I care. Should add that we've had a fair amount of conversation about sexting and I'm fairly confident she's not participating.
That's what I'm saying, though.
I would not be getting a kid a fancy phone that does a lot of things -- but the basic phone. And, you can get a service that is for out-going calls only, and limits the number of those calls per week, as well as one that limits texting similarly. And *that* might cost a couple of bucks. Even the pre-pay, you could do that. Then there's no way to use it for any other purpose.
Here, our cell phone is basic. It came free with our 2yr plan. Nothing to it, to be honest. Basic service is essentially the privilege to use. Any phone calls made cost $. Any phone calls received are free. We can send 25 txt messages per month. Cost? $50. If we added a second and third phone (for DH, for example), designed a family plan, it would come in around $90 per month BEFORE we are talking about phone calls *made* or texts above the 75 allotment.
With the way teens seem to use the phones, we would be paying hundreds of dollars a month if DS was using the phone the way I see most teens use it.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.