View Full Version : looking {{{old}}}
Well what is old, I guess is the question. Why is it we worry about the number and the look that comes with the number. I know it is all about how you feel, your health and the love you have and share,,,blah blah blah :confused: But last year on my 50th Bday as I was treating myself to a 35 mile or so bike ride(don't remember the number) I was asked if I wanted the senior discount at the place I stopped for a drink. UGG it was my bday and I was blindsided by the question from the child!
This year on the eve of my 51, I joined AARP for the discounts, I had a colonoscopy, I have the longterm health insurance meeting set up and I am prepaying for our cremations soon if I can drag my self there. Goodness it that stuff does not scream I AM OLD. Then yesterday getting my hair done the lady tells me her mom is 59 and looks like me, You know pushing 60 but still looks young. I dragged my old age body home and started scanning the net for styles for 50 and over women. UGG I cringed when it showed Mom Jeans.
Now I am lost at where I fit in with looks, I feel great. I can run 5K, I walk many miles a day, I biked over 3,000 miles last year. So why does it matter I ask myself, alas it does today.
Yeah, I think it's growing pains. I think women go through exactly the same stuff when they're 50-ish as they do when they're 12-13. That is, it's just so confusing redefining yourself. I also remember going shopping that thinking, "is this look too young for me?" when looking at clothes I wouldn't have thought twice about wearing a few years earlier. At the same time, I started rethinking my extensive black wardrobe. Black is cool when you're a young Tribeca-lving, club-trolling 30 something; but when you're over a certain age, black is Queen Victoria or a pre-Vatican II nun. Rather than get rid of my black, I asked my family to give me colorful scarves for Christmas, which do double duty: bring color to my tone-less face and camoflage the wrinkles on my neck (BTW, you have to read Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck")
The weirdest thing about this age, and I think it's a hormonal (or a loss-of-hormonal) thing is the very real feeling of invisibility. All of a sudden, you're doing the same things, you have the same people skills, you still make eye contact and smile at people, but all of a sudden, the opposite gender is looking right through you. Here's another article on that which I LOVE, written by Valerie Monroe, Beauty Editor of Oprah Magazine: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Deal-with-Aging-Valerie-Monroe-on-Getting-Older. She does a great job on defining that phenomenon.
So, when I start feeling bummed that the inevitable is happening to my looks, I do three things:
I feel grateful because I suppose I could look worse, although it takes twice a much effort to look "naturally" attractive as it did a decade ago.
I sit back and admire my daughter. A lot of people say we look alike. That's a great compliment to me because I think she's gorgeous. So I just consider that that's the natural order of things--I pass along to her, like an inheritance, the privilege of being young with all that entails. I can be pretty vicariously through her. That helps me let go of what was--because it still "is" in my daughter
Finally, I consider that looking older is a very small price to pay for the joy of being older. I love being older! I feel so much freer, I've got a lot of all that difficult stuff behind me, I'm more at peace with myself, I've learned from mistakes to the point where I can see others making them and I just smile and think, "someday you'll know." As Maurice Chevalier once sang: "I'm glad I'm not young anymore!!
I will hop over and read those links you gave. Yes the black clothes. I remember black and white were the only colors in my selection. Then one night in a black dress, I looked around and every lady was in a black evening dress. That was when I was about 43, I said to myself no more black, well beside slacks or exercise pants.
I know I look old. Even though I've taken good care of my skin, and have a modern hairstyle and clothing, I know I'm not fooling anyone. While I'm appreciative of my growing wisdom, it still annoys me that my mother comes for breakfast every morning, or at least I see her in the mirror. I'm in the job market, and am acutely aware of the bias against older workers in high tech, and that bias starts around 35.
One thing I do welcome is the growing kindness of the older population. I found younger women really catty and competitive, and with over 40 women I see much less of that. We've all had our shares of troubles and burdens at this point, and most of us realize we're all doing the best we can with what we've been dealt.
At the same time, I started rethinking my extensive black wardrobe. Black is cool when you're a young Tribeca-lving, club-trolling 30 something; but when you're over a certain age, black is Queen Victoria or a pre-Vatican II nun.
:) This made me smile because my DD just asked me the other day if black was my favourite colour. It totally isn't. I thought about it and I think I buy black clothes because it doesn't look dirty as quickly and I have small children, so that's an important feature in clothing.
I actually think I have noticed a bit of the invisibility thing even since hitting 30, but I like it. I feel like I am finally at the age where I am judged more by who I am than what I look like. I find that very freeing. I'm sure it helps that I have a very attentive husband and I feel very visible to him.
ctg492 I am envious of your physical abilities! I am 33 and I can't do all of that. You should be very proud of yourself. I am hoping to get into better shape in the next few years. I've been pregnant a lot in the last several years and I'm hoping to get myself back into shape again after this baby is born.
I think Catherine hit the nail on the head - growing pains. It does feel at times like reverse adolesence. I am still learning and some days it is really hard to see the older me in the mirror and wonder how much longer I can bound up three flights of stairs at work. Or even go to work period. Even harder some days is being surrounded by very young co-workers and being equally energized and depressed by that. I am working on shifting my priorities from how I look to putting energy towards what am I interested in - gardening, permaculture, cooking, etc. Being as healthy as possible. Growing old is the natural order of things and fighting it or being sad about it really is a terrible waste of time. I am slowly learning there is a wonderful freedom in being older that I can't put into words.
This thread made me think.
At age 68, I have no ills or meds, walk several miles a day with the dog, and eat well with lots of interests. I still find that I get a smile from most people when I smile so don't feel invisible to anyone. Most days I am glad to be alive and celebrate that. I do notice if my posture is poor due to feeling somewhat low in spirits, I feel ignored though. When I am watering the plants at the library, people will stop me to talk especially the men who are there with their laptops. We will talk about just about anything and when we meet on the street later, I get a smile and hello from them. Friendliness and nothing more.
I have started wearing black for the first time in my life these last few years for jackets, slacks etc with bright colours around my face. My pinkish colouring did not and does not look good with black close to my skin.
Mostly I made this decision about black as I keep clothes a long time, won't buy an item unless fully washable and almost everything goes with black especially cheerful colours like raspberry red, cobalt blue, white and rose pink. Mostly tailored clothes styles.
I do spend the money on quality foundation, a modest neutral concealer and Cetaphil products for cleansing. Rare lipstick use as I chew it off too soon.
A friend and I did the Colours test years ago and I found that I was 'summer' and choose items accordingly. I was told then that I would go grey naturally and nicely and I did. I do try to keep my hair short, simply and tastefully maintained so tried a new stylist this week.
I did not know that certain ages were stressed such as 30, 40, 50 or 60 so did not make a note of them at all. A friend helped me celebrate 65 because she had done so a year earlier but I do enjoy the 'senior perks' that come with it.
Sorry for the ramble but I was thinking out loud. I do dislike the wrinkles that are starting to show though when I look in the mirror. They are signs of the miles of living I have travelled, I suppose.
Gee, you guys have covered so much already.
Catherine. You posted something I feel is the epitome of how everyone over the age of say, 40, should feel/think. The entry I'm referring to is this. ("I consider that looking older is a very small price to pay for the joy of being older"). IMO, nothing else matters when one takes into consideration the meaning and expression of those words.
Another entry I'd like to look at is this one. "All of a sudden, you're doing the same things, you have the same people skills, you still make eye contact and smile at people, but all of a sudden, the opposite gender is looking right through you". Don't think that, Catherine. You may think that's what's happening, but it isn't.
My husband (for one) loves and appreciates older women who keep themselves looking good and take care of themselves. I think what happens when we get older, is instead of experiencing a closer, more personal level of closeness and admiration (the kind we're all used to that echoes our younger years), people (specifically men), observe us and admire us from a distance. My husband sums it up best. His words are, "most well-kept women are married/partnered, so it's inappropriate to crowd their space as one would, single, younger women".
I for one see (at certain times) how my husband looks at older, classy women, women who clearly stand out of the crowd, because they take care of themselves, take pride in the way they look and dress, and carry themselves accordingly, and I'm OK with that. It's a subtle reminder to me (just as it should be to all other women), that just because we're getting older, doesn't mean we should give-up on keeping ourselves at our best.
Beauty, really does come from within. It's not at all about age, it's about expression. And don't think (for a minute), that everyone is looking through you, because that just isn't so.
Oh thanks for all the positive response. Yes my Mom looks back at me in the mirror every day too! Today to kill the old feeling I did 5K in 28 minutes. I know we can not hold back the night. My goal is to hop on my bike and ride all day on my Bday in March every year as long as I can! I want to be 80 and still cruising. (weather permitting in MI) I see people biking/jogging/walking the trails where I ride that are actually seniors and doing just fine, they are my idols :0 I say I am running/pedaling from old age, is that possible?????
goldensmom
2-24-12, 10:08am
My eyes don't see me as old as I am even when I look in the mirror but I am sure others see my true chronological age when they look at me. I feel the physical changes but so what. Old to me now is always 10/20 years older than my current age. Some of my ooollllldddd friends say that so many things about old age prepares them for death and they are not being morbid just facing reality with a healthy attitude because it is going to happen.
leslieann
2-24-12, 10:40am
This has been a great thread for me today. I actually bought some makeup a couple of weeks ago and have been using it. I let my hair go gray in 2008, have not looked back, but do notice that I became invisible to many when I finally cut off all of the colour. The scarf thing has been a saving grace; my neck has aged a lot faster than the rest of me! And I wear mostly black for the same reasons as razz but the scarves make a difference. They also allow me to own fewer clothes; I have gray and black pants, skirts and tops, and bright scarves.
I lost a lot of fitness due to injury, illness and probably laziness. So I am working hard to get that back but it comes back slower at this age. If I focus on what I have rather than what I think I've lost, then I am grateful and satisfied. My beloved partner likes my gray hair, loves the softness that comes with losing my waist to menopause, and affirms me as a woman, and I am ever grateful for that.
The growing pains label is apt and helpful. Thanks for that.
My eyes don't see me as old as I am even when I look in the mirror but I am sure others see my true chronological age when they look at me.
I have my hair cut short enough to not need styling, it just sorta falls into place. I also shave in the shower (when I shave at all). DW is always quick to offer advice when my clothing selection is less than stellar. With that routine I have no need for mirrors whatsoever which is good because I'm always perplexed regarding who that is staring back from one. He's a character right out of Dickens. Mirrors are evil I say. Pure evil.
loosechickens
2-24-12, 1:10pm
I'm with you, Gregg......best solution is just not to look.....although once in awhile, as you approach plate glass doors, you DO find yourself wondering, "who IS that old person?".........
I mind a certain amount of loss of physical abilities....it used to be that if I called on my body for extraordinary effort, it came through, and at 70, I'm discovering that it not only doesn't always come through, but if it does, I'm often left with days if not weeks of aches and pains because of it.
One thing I have really LOVED about getting older is that I am able to have far greater relationships with men, who react to me, interact with me and talk to me, human to human, as opposed to what I had all my life, feeling the need to guard myself from come-ons. I never thought of myself as all that beautiful or anything, but men were always attracted to me, and most male/female relationships always seemed tinged with a sexual component that was unwelcome to me, and made me wary of really connecting.
These days, I have more friends who are men, and even some much younger ones, who, once that sexual tension has been erased by my "invisibility" as a possible sexual partner, means that I can enjoy close friendships in a way I never could before.
Although, once in awhile, if I'm honest, I look back a bit wistfully at all those years where I couldn't stop into a Dunkin' Donuts without some guy trying to buy my coffee and cozy up on the next stool, or truck drivers whistling.......some days, I think I'd pay a truck driver for an appreciative whistle when I'm feeling especially spiffy. Once in a great while, I still get the "hola, mama", from older Hispanic men, who seem to appreciate older women more than Anglo guys, but.........it's a new day, now, and all in all, I like it.
These days, I have more friends who are men, and even some much younger ones, who, once that sexual tension has been erased by my "invisibility" as a possible sexual partner, means that I can enjoy close friendships in a way I never could before.
Ya' made me smile with that LC because it made me think about when I realized I was sexually invisible to younger members of the opposite sex. I'm sure you realize how fragile the male ego can be... DW got a great laugh when I admitted the young, pretty girls who's paths occasionally cross mine only love me for my mind. Apparently she'd waited quite a while for that realization.
Once in a great while, I still get the "hola, mama", from older Hispanic men, who seem to appreciate older women more than Anglo guys, but.........it's a new day, now, and all in all, I like it.
LOL.. my kids used to crack up at a movie (can't remember the name) where a convenience store owner was showing a couple of teens a racy magazine and he said, "Ohh! Mamacita like thees!" Ever since then, they've called me "Ziti" (short for Mamacita). When people ask me why, I'm a little embarrassed explaining!
Well what is old, I guess is the question. Why is it we worry about the number and the look that comes with the number.
Oh you young whippersnappers and your worries about aging and looking old :-)! I just turned 55 yesterday and think I look the same as I did years ago - and for sure feel the same. You sound fit and healthy and full of life, so don't let some abitary set of "rules" and societal standards tell you that you aren't as attractive now as you were 5 or 10 years ago. Wear your hair how you like, dress how you like, be true to yourself and you will be beautiful no matter how many wrinkles you have. I still have the same long hair I've had forever even if it isn't something us "old broads" are suppose to wear. I wear what I like and it looks good on me. Yes, I don't attract as much male attention as I use to solely because of my looks - for which I am extremely glad - but now feel that the men I do date appreciate my mind and spirit as a "person" rather than some kind of arm-candy. I feel that my true self is now what matters to men, rather than my looks, and I cherish that when I'm with a man. As for physical stuff, yeah it's not quite as easy as it was 10 years ago, but I actually am fitter (just not as fast!) now that I'm older. I have the free time to do all sorts of physical activities now that I didn't have before. Yes I creak a bit, but I feel that a person, barring illness or injury, can be just as fit at 50, 60, heck 90, as they were in their youth. I spent the day yesterday first on a long run and then, later in the day, playing doubles beach volleyball - although I gave up the bikini this year for shorts and a tank top (watching men claw their eyes out, and the sounds of small children screaming in terror, messes up my game :-)!) - then the evening out for a bit of a wild times with friends. My point is don't let a number determine your age, As Gregg said in another post, you're only as old as you feel - and I'm 16 :-)! Yeah i have more wrinkles - don't care. Yeah, I have my first few gray hairs - don't care. Yeah, some "bits" aren't as perky as they once were - don't care. I don't bother covering up anything with make-up or clothing. I yam what I yam and love it. I will do things to make myself look better - like I will probably start coloring my hair - but only because it pleases me when I look at myself - not to appear younger looking (I think getting a fast motorcycle - something I'm thinking of getting - will make me feel - and maybe look - younger than any amount of make up or clothing will). Of course as soon as someone asks me if I want the senior discount I may change my mind - that hasn't happened - yet :-)! Oh, and I'm dating a guy 10 years younger then me:D:D:devil::devil:
DW got a great laugh when I admitted the young, pretty girls who's paths occasionally cross mine only love me for my mind. Apparently she'd waited quite a while for that realization.
:devil::devil::devil::laff::laff:!!
So true Spartana!
And when looking at styles (hair. clothes, etc...) for woman over 50 don't forget to look at the many beautiful actresses over 50. Yes, most have probably had work "done" but they rarely wear Mom jeans or have bee-hive hair dos (things that may be very dated and therefore make you look older). Irregardless of your size, there are great inexpensive clothes that can be worn by people of any age. Same with hair styles (I have the "Daryll Hannah at 50-something" hair style). If it looks good on you, and you feel good in it, go for it!
I see women of all ages coming into the salon where I work. It seems to me that no matter what age they are, the ones who are of a healthy weight, take care of their skin (minimal sun damage) which can have wrinkles, wear well-fitting simple clothes (not exactly age-appropriate, but nothing outrageously young), keep their makeup subtle, their hair neat (no matter the color or style), and most important, carry themselves well, these women will always look great for their age, get noticed and just look healthier.
I've been fortunate because I've always been thin, flat-chested and looked younger than my age. Always been labeled as "cute", which will never be confused with gorgeous or beautiful. Now at 45, bits of me are more jiggly or loose, I've got stray hairs where they're not wanted, I need longer arms to read, it takes me a few steps to walk normally after sitting for too long, and my grey hairs are coming out of hiding. I'm still childlike, as someone once called me, which is OK by me.
I think a joyful attitude and the things mentioned above make a more youthful appearance. I wish I had the knowledge I have now when I was younger, but you live and learn. When my massage client is under 25 years old, and the skin is firm and taut, I then realise just how much my body has changed over the years. Never noticed or appreciated my young body years ago and perhaps these young women don't notice either. Make the most of what you've got, enhance your good features and downplay the ones you don't like.
I see women of all ages coming into the salon where I work. It seems to me that no matter what age they are, the ones who are of a healthy weight, take care of their skin (minimal sun damage) which can have wrinkles, wear well-fitting simple clothes (not exactly age-appropriate, but nothing outrageously young), keep their makeup subtle, their hair neat (no matter the color or style), and most important, carry themselves well, these women will always look great for their age, get noticed and just look healthier.
I think a joyful attitude and the things mentioned above make a more youthful appearance.
I agree with this.
Not to derail this excellent discussion but I have to mention that the sense or 'being noticed' can start very early in life. I was tall for my age, attractive figure and overall an OK but no beauty , never dated in high school although I had some crushes and did get asked out a few times. I had a very close relationship with my dad with whom I discussed everything that came into my head and he gave his insights, often challenged by the depth of my search for knowledge. I was 'beautiful' to him with all the activities that we did together including fixing machinery, long walks, listening to classical music, woodworking and debates about everything - a combo of mind and appearance. He set the standard on my relationships with men that few could live up to, BTW. My mother and I fought regularly as we were both stubborn but I learned so much from her as well especially the appreciation of art and beauty.
My point? How much of one's sense of invisibility later in life is because a stronger sense of self is not present in an early life? I remember being uncomfortable by too much male attention in my late teens (including, for a short time, a truly horrible stalking pimp!!!!) as that was not my expected standard so avoided it. Any male had to be a friend first. That is what I expected and over the years I have found.
What do you think?
I like the above thoughts about self image based on things other than appearance. It's my belief that those whose primary self image was based on appearance at a younger age, struggle more in mid life. But those who were more internally based handle mid life more easily. It's a variation on revenge of the nerds. ;)
ntg492, I just wanted to share the following blog for what I think are some good examples of "style" for over 40 women: http://thegardenerscottage.blogspot.com/
This might give you some good ideas if you like the classic looks.
If only more women could have Spartana's attitude, they could relax and enjoy life.
I want Spartana's attitude. I am going to work on cultivating it. It is too easy for me to notice the things that are NOT rather than the things that are. I have a belief, for example, that I can't run any more, due to knee and hip issues. It may be true but I don't actually know whether it IS true because I have this limiting belief. If I could stop thinking that age (and arthritis and injury) have stopped me, I'd probably be more positive. I don't mean that I should be unrealistic but if I get out there and TRY and then decide/choose to change activities, then it is me making a decision not me defaulting to my beliefs about age.
I like the idea that the center of one's sense of self might make a difference in how we feel about this invisibility issue. Tammy and razz put it well; if our sense of self comes from what other people (apparently) think rather than being a solid, internal experience, we may be more sensitive to lack of attention.
I hadn't realized how much my relationships with men HAVE improved since I got to this stage of life. Thanks for that note, LC, and thanks for the smile I had when imagining your Dunkin Donuts experiences. That was the first place that a young, very young, cashier asked me if I wanted the senior discount.
Aqua Blue
2-25-12, 10:03am
Sorta off topic, but I have thought that an "invisible" older lady would make a greatmain character in a detective mystery series .
Personally, I have been invisible my whole life, I am just now, in my late 50's coming to accept that. From childhood on, people have said things like, Were you at.... I don't remember seeing you? Haha
jania,Nice blog.
I have never been a fashion person, just clean basic outfits. I have been good I think at dressing for a special event, but I am jeans(not mom jeans) and birkenstock with nice shirt mostly. Her outfit is something I would choose to wear also.
aqua blue,
Oh I hear you about invisible. I have always said that I am not the person that people remember meeting. I do not stick out or have an outgoing personality that people radiate to. Funny though I bike ride a great deal, Those people I pass daily remember me as the 'bike lady'. So I must make an impression on them. I say Hello to everyone I pass on my bike that is probably why.
I'm with you, Gregg......best solution is just not to look.....although once in awhile, as you approach plate glass doors, you DO find yourself wondering, "who IS that old person?".........
.
I wear my hair up in a bun like my grandmother did. Once I was walking towards a storefront whose windows were sort of slanted outward, which made me look shorter. For a millisecond I thought my grandmother was standing there!
Since I don't really physically resemble my mother much, I went straight to seeing my grandmother. Especially in a mirror first thing in the morning. Luckily grandma was a nice lady so I don't mind.
Sorta off topic, but I have thought that an "invisible" older lady would make a greatmain character in a detective mystery series .
Yes! I was also kidding with a fellow invisible lady that it would be great for a life of crime. Whose going to remember, let alone suspect, two respectable-looking stout old ladies?
I want Spartana's attitude. I am going to work on cultivating it.
Yes, us elderly women are soooo wise :-)! Well my (younger) sister, who endlessly seeks to embarrass me, took some photos of me yesterday - the morning after my 55th B-Day bash - just getting out of bed to take the dog out (in my PJs). I was slightly hungover, no make up, puffy face, and hair unbrushed (the way I look most days). I'll post them here. I'm not a young hottie anymore but am happy with myself as a senior citizen and have no plans to cut my hair no matter what people tell me us elderly folk should do to be "proper" :-)!!
loosechickens
2-25-12, 3:01pm
ya still look just fine, Spartana......love the hair.....I used to be able to sit on mine, quite comfortably, and when I see pics from the old days, I still miss it. Although I don't miss the effort of washing it, etc. I finally cut it when we were living in Mexico and Central America and mostly washing it in buckets because of the hassle.......
Yes ... That idea about relationships with men improving with age. At work it seems like I'm more respected with age, and less of the sexual tension is there. It feels like more of a partnership in reaching mutual goals, more trust, more honesty.
Wowza, that is some hair! Love it!
AND I love the idea of a couple of "invisible" ladies as protagonists in a mystery novel...either as the bad guys or the good guys. Maybe that's what Miss Marple was, anyway.
The invisible older lady was the premise of the Mrs. Pollifax series. A more recent one was a Christian series with older woman Ivy Malone.
Maybe I need to start riding a bike more. LOL
The invisible older lady was the premise of the Mrs. Pollifax series. A more recent one was a Christian series with older woman Ivy Malone.
I'll have to check them out, thanks.
Wildflower
2-26-12, 4:16am
Spartana, you look great! My hair looks alot like yours an I'm 54, although mine is blondish brown with lotsa grey streaks. I did recently cut a few inches off though - it is more like a few inches past my shoulders, not quite as long as yours.... DH still thinks it is way sexy so I'm going with that thought these days. LOL
And for those of you that feel invisible. I don't feel that way. With age I've become alot more self confident and assertive. I feel good about myself in a different way that is not based on my appearance. I just enjoy life and I love learning about new things everyday. Frankly, I don't miss the leering looks from young men that made me feel like a piece of meat.... Although, I will tell this funny. I was in line at my doctor's office last week to check out, schedule my next appt., etc. and there was a man in his mid to late 70's behind me with his daughter. I heard him say quite loudly to her that the lady in front of him was one fine looking woman. I almost burst out laughing as his daughter shushed him....so I guess I am still turning "some" mens heads. ;)
Love the picture of you, Spartana!
ya still look just fine, Spartana......love the hair.....I used to be able to sit on mine, quite comfortably, and when I see pics from the old days, I still miss it. Although I don't miss the effort of washing it, etc. I finally cut it when we were living in Mexico and Central America and mostly washing it in buckets because of the hassle.......
Thanks - you didn't see the one of me without the sunglasses though - YIKES Scary :-)! But I'll use the new "elderly spartana" photo as my avatar.
Will be cutting off the hair to the top of my shoulders and donating it to Locks of Love this summer then will grow it long again. I like my hair short too - it looks alot better on me than long hair does - but I like all the different things you can do with long hair so opt for that instead. Plus I'm lazy and cheap so don't have to spend the time or money on styling it :-)! I do think, as per the OPs question, that people shouldn't let other's determine what is age-appropriate. I mean, there is no set of rules that says if you are over 50 you must do this, this, and that and nothing else. And if there is a set of rules it should be burned!! While I know I could look much better if I did things like wear make up, nicer clothes (dressing like a 12 year old boy in baggy cargo shorts, tank tops and sneakers isn't exactly beautifing :-)!), have styled hair, etc... I prefer to be less attractive but feel more like I am true to myself - and without the the need for anyone's approval or acceptance of me. And while I do "glam up" for night time dates or evenings out (day time active dates I go "as is") I don't feel that I have to.
I think it's the same as simple living - many of us here have decided not to follow societie's expectations (as well as that of advertizers, parents and friends) to strive for a soul sucking 100 hour/week corporate job so we can have the finer things in life - like a McMansion and a luxury SUV. We go against the "norm" and find what works for us to make us happy. So even though other people may think we should be ldoing other things with our lives, we choose not give a damn what they think and follow our own hearts. I think it should be the same for style (clothes, hair, make up, etc...) at any age - don't listen to what other people tell you and learn to not really care what they think - and do what's right for you irregardless of your age or size or your gender. Of course I'm still half expecting to see myself on the "People of Walmart" website someday ;-)!
The invisible older lady was the premise of the Mrs. Pollifax series. A more recent one was a Christian series with older woman Ivy Malone.
There's a British TV series on the BBC about two older (fairly attractive but middle aged) women who are gardners and and solve crimes. I think it's called something like "Rosemary and Thyme". It's an older show but still on. Pretty good too!
From Wikipedia:
A cozy mystery series set in a variety of lavishly beautiful English and European gardens, Rosemary & Thyme features two women in transition who are brought together by a sudden death and discover their shared love of the soil and natural inquisitiveness. Forced to reassess their lives, they hope their new-found friendship will lead to future gardening commissions, not more detective work. But whilst Laura and Rosemary don’t think of themselves as sleuths – they are just as interested in a problem with a rosebush as with a dead body – mysteries have a habit of following them around. The fact that they are inconspicuous gardeners means that they overhear secrets and dig up clues which not only lead them to rectify the floral problems but also solve the crime and capture the criminal.
Only in Britain are there well written and acted tv shows featuring older women. Look at Keeping Up Appearances, As Time Goes By, Mulberry.
Felicity Kendall was sort of a "UK's sweetheart" in her younger days.
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