View Full Version : Help Me With the Austerity Measures
I have been playing with the budget for after I go part-time (40 hours per week) and it’s going to be tight, very tight. Here’s the numbers I have now:
Income for 80 hours work: $2,430.32
Minus Medicare/SS/federal and state taxes $ 681.69
Minus medical/life insurances $ 117.39
Minus 401K $ 75.00
Minus credit union (for irregular large expenses like house & car insurance, house taxes and replenishment of the emergency fund $ 300.00
College savings $ 400.00
This leaves $856.24 per pay, times 26 pays per year $22,262.24 divided by 12 months $1,855.19 plus $500 per month in child support and approximately $280 per month in mileage reimbursement from my employer. So $2,635.19 to spend per month.
Looking back at past expenses, I have cobbled together a budget, but it’s still $216.71 over income. Here’s what it looks like:
Mortgage (9 years left on 15 year loan at 4%) $627.32
Auto loan (21 months left at 1.25%) $386.97
Home repair and decorating $100.00
Utilities (water, sewer, gas, electric, trash, internet) $280.00
Cell phones (four, family plan) $117.00
Gas for automobile (most of these miles are for work) $161.00
Car maintenance $ 33.62
MD/Rx/DDS $60.00
Groceries $300.00
Fawn expenses (clothes, wine, entertainment) $ 50.00
School and activities fees $140.00
Chores (what I pay the kids to work around the house) $100.00
Kid’s clothing $100.00
Cats $ 15.00
Christmas $40.00
Music lessons $250.00
Household (TP, printer ink, shampoo, etc) $ 70.00
Gifts $ 20.00
Vacation (really just driving to see the big kid and DIL) $ 30.00
Gym membership (ends 8/12) $33.99
Things improve greatly when the car is paid off. And of course, by then one of the kids is out of the house.
I know the music lessons seems easy pickings, but we really get alot of value out of those. I won't cut those unless I feel I don't have a choice.
Wildflower
2-26-12, 4:41am
Just a thought - why are you paying your kids to do chores around the house? I never paid mine. I thought that was just them doing their part as a member of our family unit. I also thought that feeding, clothing, paying for all of their expenses, letting them use our car, and providing them a good home, and let's not forget that college fund, was payment enough for them doing chores. :) YMMV
Just a thought - why are you paying your kids to do chores around the house? I never paid mine. I thought that was just them doing their part as a member of our family unit. I also thought that feeding, clothing, paying for all of their expenses, letting them use our car, and providing them a good home, and let's not forget that college fund, was payment enough for them doing chores. :) YMMV
Well, the advantages to it are that 1) they clean the house and do other chores very willingly, I do not have to nag, they are not resentful 2) they have no other income and are expected to pay for things like texting on their phone, gifts that they want to give to friends or family, gas for the car they bought from their dad.
But, you are right, many families consider it part of the family obligation.
What are your ideas for reducing expenses (or increasing income)? It really doesn't help us to suggest things to be picked off each time.
Have you investigated each utility cost to make sure you are the most efficient you can be? We found that our budget plan helped us and we set our thermostat back. Now if you are going to say the kids complain about the heat or cold, tell them to be become involved in reducing such expense not complaining.
$140 per month for school activity fees? Is each and every $$ spent used and totally necessary
$60 per month for gifts (Xmas and gift category) I would suggest this is the first one to get reduced. Homemade and cards will have to suffice. The kids buy their own gifts to give per the chore money explanation.
$250 reduce but perhaps dont eliminate. Make sure that the lessons are absolutely required and not just a "fun" activity. I mean if you dont have the income you dont have the money to spend right now.
Calling any category "decorating" allows for removal. What are you anticipating for home repair and is it deferable?
Your choices are all going to be made in the context of what your family considers important and the goals your family has set. Note that I did not mention college fund or your retirement. I would only be donating to the 401K the amount that gets matching right now.
Ack! sweeetana3--I typed a long response to you and then lost it.
I can increase income by working extra days. It's pretty easy for me to do that at will. I'm thinking about cancelling the cell phone package and getting a pre-paid phone and asking the kids to pay for their own pre-paid phones with their chore money.
I think we do a fair job with the utilities, but there is likely room for improvement. I am scouting that out now. I do have a programable thermostat, but the configuration of the house and heating/cooling and number of functioning windows affects it some.
I agree that $140 per month for school and activity fees seems obsene. This figure is pulled from previous years records and averaging. Some is unavoidable (public school book rental, chemistry lab fee) some elective (track and scholastic bowl fees) and some may be forwarded to the kids (yearbooks.)
I agree that the gifts $ will likely go. Now, I need to start thinking of homemade gifts acceptable to teenagers.
The lesson money is $170 to the woodwind teacher for two kids that play four woodwind instruments and $80 to the percussion teacher. The woodwind teacher does not charge us for lessons that he cancels and that money I have applied to instrument repair. I am willing to cut out a lot of other things before I cut out this. The discipline/performance/achievement the kids have experienced with their music has been very good for each of them. They each have received recognition for thier abilities.
My 401K I reduced from 9% of income to 3%, which is my employer match. The college fund is a mediated-court registered obligation and not negotiable. Though if the kids get enough scholarships (it is possible, one class rank of 6 out of 372 and one class rank 3 out of simular class size and they have tested well on ACT/SATs) then the college money goes into my retirement account.
I do appreciate you questioning each item. We are used to doing things a certain way, but are going to have to change for the next year and a half. Having other frugalistas thoughts on what is luxury and what is important helps me define what we are trying to do.
Miss Cellane
2-26-12, 7:41am
When are you planning on going part-time? Do you have to cut back to 20 hours a week, or could you work, say, 25 hours a week? And then cut back to 20 when the car is paid off? Or could you continue to work full-time a little longer, but start the new budget plan now, saving the extra to help make ends meet until the car is paid off?
Are you giving up the gym membership once the current contract ends?
One thing to keep in mind is that the general consensus is that gas prices are going to go up, and if they do, everything that's transported by truck is going to increase in price as well. You need to have a buffer to deal with that.
First thing I'd do is call the internet and cell phone providers and see if you can get a lower rate. It might mean reduced service of some kind, like slower internet, but frequently there are unadvertised prices that you can only get if you call. Or call and threaten to quit.
Then look at all the non-fixed expenses, like food and clothing and household and gifts. Can you cut 5% from each of them? It's sometimes easier to cut a tiny bit from a lot of categories then to eliminate or greatly reduce just one. Then go back and brainstorm ways to cut an additional 5% from some of the categories.
I was going to say to cut the kids' chore money by $5 each--if you are getting a pay cut, then they get a pay cut. But if some of the expenses you usually cover for them are going to have to come out of the chore money, then I'd leave it as is.
When are you going part-time? Is there any chance you could get rid of the car payment by then? I know that's a real stretch, but if you could live on your part-time budget while you're full time, would you have enough time and money to pay off the car? Can you work extra hours just to pay off the car? My own orientation now is the Dave Ramsey way, so to me, getting rid of that debt would be the best place to cut. He, of course, would advise selling the car and getting a "beater"--but with less than two years on it, I'd try to pay it off early.
flowerseverywhere
2-26-12, 8:08am
Fawn, it looks like you are doing great. I think that the music and other child related expenses are areas that you probably are going to suck it up and pay. I think there is great value in kids doing a few things to enhance their lives and kids just plain cost money. Great that they are doing so well in school as well. Also, it is great that despite things being so tight you continue to contribute to your retirement plan. As time goes on you will be very glad that you continued to build that fund up.
The gift giving thing is a hard one, but at your level of spending it is a category to look at. The pre-paid phones are an option. Gym membership once it expires unless you really use it. I know my DH gets a great value from swimming at our YMCA, I could just walk outside but he keeps his back healthy by swimming so for us it would be a no-go.
Is there anyone in the family who gives them gifts (ie. grandparents)? I would be very willing to pay for something for my grandchildren like contributing towards music lessons if the parents asked for things like birthdays and christmas.
as far as the allowance goes for chores, I don't think it is a bad thing. It teaches them to budget their money and be careful. That is a great lesson to learn.
If you could get some extra work that would probably be the best solution as cars break down etc. etc. and unexpected expenses come up for the most careful and frugal of us. I would think working an extra day a week would be less stressful than worrying about paying the bills and putting food on the table.
Sorry, Fawn, I know that you want to cut down on hours but it may not be the right time. I agree with your priorities and expenses and wonder if you can hang in for another year. Try living on the proposed budget but have some buffer, and when the car is paid up and another kid starts moving out, then cut back. I believe that the stress that you will have as a result of doing such a tight budget will far overtake the benefit. The old story of to everything there is a season...
Having said that, your idea of the cellphone expense sharing would help a little. Your mortgage is not out of line nor is your car payment so it is the timing of you change to fewer hours.
dado potato
2-26-12, 8:21am
The wine can go to zero. Substitute frozen reconstituted grape juice.
I corrected my previous error in how much I will be working. My "part-time" will be 40 hours/week. Currently, at full-time, I am working 45-55 hours/week or 90-130 hours/pay period. I have been working this much for the past 2 years and I just can't sustain it.
I have been talking with the kids about what changes are coming, and they are aware that the majority of the money is being spent on them and are mostly agreeable to the changes proposed. They know that the money is being spent to prepare them for and pay for college. They also understand that I am getting tired. They see it, hear it in my voice.
I can buy my clothes from second hand stores, prepare all our food from scratch, but I can't keep up this pace. I am weary.
I know Dave Ramsey would tell me to sell the car and get a beater, or Mr Money Mustache would tell me to ride a bike. We each have a particular situation and mine is that I must have a car for my job. I need it to be reliable and efficient and big enough to carry two kids and a bari saxophone or a drum set. Sometimes, my job requires me to go to bad parts of town or the middle of nowhere at 2am. So, given the requirements of my particular life, a hybrid hatch-back, bought new and driven till it has 250,000 to 300,000 miles has worked for me thus far. By the time this car dies, I may be ready to retire and might try going car-free. For now, I am OK with the car payment. I do not have enough cash reserves to pay it off before going part-time May 1st.
I do plan to start the new budget now, and put the extra in the emergency fund.
Whew, Fawn. Lots of things that you have been considering here, I know. I am no frugalista but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your posting and your openness to suggestions. And I like the way that you do things. In your work, I know that "part time" means what most of us work full time but do you have the option of picking up shifts if you find yourself cash strapped in any particular month? That can make a difference...by that I mean that you would have flexibility if something unexpected happened.
Good ideas about moving some of the kid expenses to the kids. There are three kids at home, right? So each one earns about $60 a month and has some expenses? Makes some good sense to shift more to them as is reasonable. I am assuming that they grasp that mom needs to work only 40 hours a week rather than the way things have been going.
I had to laugh a bit at the "decorating" part of the budget, knowing your preference for few things. That must refer to the occasional gallon of paint, perhaps?
This is a great exercise in really looking at values, isn't it? Wish I had the guts.
I will call the internet provider and see if they will reduce the rate.
And I plan to give up the wine when I give up the 12 hour work shifts. I will drink water or coffee. If I get really desparate, I will give up coffee and drink tea. Gotta have caffeine.
Work is such that there is always the opportunity to pick up extra shifts. When they are really desperate, they pay bonus $2/hour plus overtime.
He he, you are right---decorating to me is paint....or sometimes flowers. :~)
Bastelmutti
2-26-12, 9:55am
The only thing I can think of, and I hesitate to even mention it (because I have a pre-teen) is the clothing budget. Then again, I think about how I try to cobble together good shoes, thrift store stuff and cheaper Target and discount clothes & it would be tough to reduce. Shoes are a killer.
At your salary and family size, do you qualify for any assistance at school with fees or other types of assistance?
216 over budget, and saving 400 for college. Looking at the numbers quickly, I would drop the college savings to 150 and keep living as you are. It's my opinion that parents don't owe kids college. They should help when they can, and the kids should take primary responsibility for it. I've seen way too many kids totally squander the opportunity when it was handed to them for free.
The only thing I can think of, and I hesitate to even mention it (because I have a pre-teen) is the clothing budget. Then again, I think about how I try to cobble together good shoes, thrift store stuff and cheaper Target and discount clothes & it would be tough to reduce. Shoes are a killer.
At your salary and family size, do you qualify for any assistance at school with fees or other types of assistance?
Actually, I think we are doing OK in the clothing budget. And we do cobble together Target, TJ Maxx, Goodwill, Salvation Army. Shoes are the biggest expense for the boys, but they wear one pair of tennis shoes for months before they fall apart. My daughter wears the same pair of knock-off All Star type shoes for a year. But they have to have dress black shoes for music performances. And they are teens--they do not want to look "dorky" though not one of them is a princess in the clothing arena.
I do not think that we qualify for assistance, with all my OT, I made about $80,000 last year. Put a fair amount in savings.
The college money is not negotiable. There is a court registered document, mediated between me and the kid's dad that obligates each of us for 1/3 of state school tution for four years for each kid as long as the kid maintains a 2.5 GPA or higher.
I'd start passing some of the kid expenses to them depending upn their ages. Teens can pay for their share of the cell and clothing bills.
It isn't ideal, but is there any chance you could refinance to a 30 year mortgage, possibly at a slightly lower rate? I feel bad even suggesting it, but you don't have a lot of wiggle room here and if it made a significant difference in your payment level maybe for a couple of years it would be worth doing -- you could refi again to a 15 year (or less) when the kids are out of the house and you don't have those associated expenses.
Are the kids doing anything to bring in money on their own? I know it isn't easy for anyone to find work these days, but even babysitting/lawnmowing jobs can help the bottom line and allow them to cover a bit more of their own expenses.
And I agree that while it is a change for you, you should not be thinking/describing this in terms of "going part time." You are shifting back to a reasonable full-time workload, not going part-time. Good that the kids are supportive. If you haven't already, I would sit down with them and share these numbers and ask for THEIR input on where cuts could be made. You may be surprised what they suggest. And it is a great life lesson -- not just about finances, but also about how to make choices in life.
good luck!
lhamo
Good heavens, that is not part-time as others have mentioned, more that you have been working steady overtime! The health field is physically exhausting and, with frail patients and their families, it will drain you mentally, emotionally and even psychically at the subconscious level.
Please ignore the following if this is not possible or does not apply. I had to leave the health field due to burn-out working with wheelchair and bed-bound plus a whole lot of other stuff going on. I truly wished that I could have had someone work with me to sort out what other options were possible in my field that did not drain me so totally. I wished that I could have found an administrative or teaching position that could have used my long experience in the health field to allow me to continue working. It took me 3 years to get past the burn-out and functioning calmly but, even now, I have to set boundaries on stress-inducing situations.
216 over budget, and saving 400 for college. Looking at the numbers quickly, I would drop the college savings to 150 and keep living as you are. It's my opinion that parents don't owe kids college. They should help when they can, and the kids should take primary responsibility for it. I've seen way too many kids totally squander the opportunity when it was handed to them for free.
+1
216 over budget, and saving 400 for college. Looking at the numbers quickly, I would drop the college savings to 150 and keep living as you are. It's my opinion that parents don't owe kids college. They should help when they can, and the kids should take primary responsibility for it. I've seen way too many kids totally squander the opportunity when it was handed to them for free.Ditto.
College is court-mandated amount. No way to change it. She's said that twice already.
The rest of it is a tough go. I can't say it would be this or that per se.
Looks like you are doing the best you can, and hopefully everything will fall into place.
Fawn, I don't remember exactly how old your kids are, but is it possible for them to the things my brother and I did - babysitting, helping neighbors with yardwork, etc., to help earn some money?
I think going to the prepaid cells for the kids (if they're not already on them, sorry don't remember) would be a good idea. There are also built in gifts from the relatives for that - gift cards for air time! I'd also second, as someone else suggested, if the grandparents, etc., would be willing to chip in for the music lessons.
If you haven't already, I would sit down with them and share these numbers and ask for THEIR input on where cuts could be made. You may be surprised what they suggest. And it is a great life lesson -- not just about finances, but also about how to make choices in life.
lhamo
This is brilliant. Thank you.
There is only one grandparent and she doesn't give gifts. The kids do some work (farm) for their father, the money saved from that is earmarked for college. DD looked to get a job last year, but it isn't realistic. Between activities, time at their dad's and trips out of town, there isn't really enough time for a job.
I do not want to change my mortgage, because I intend to go to real part-time ( that is two days per week) in nine years and it will help if the house is paid off.
razz-I really do love the work I do. I just don't want so much of it.
Fawn, I don't remember exactly how old your kids are, but is it possible for them to the things my brother and I did - babysitting, helping neighbors with yardwork, etc., to help earn some money?
I think going to the prepaid cells for the kids (if they're not already on them, sorry don't remember) would be a good idea. There are also built in gifts from the relatives for that - gift cards for air time! I'd also second, as someone else suggested, if the grandparents, etc., would be willing to chip in for the music lessons.
In order for them to get jobs, they would have to let go a most of their activities. I thought about this a lot when DD turned 16. With their good grades, good test scores and thoughtful, varied activities, I think they are positioned better to get more college scholarship money. It's is a gamble, but ultimately, I think, will pay off in more dollars down the road for school than a minimum wage job.
Really the austerity measures are only for a year or so, then things start easing up. I do have healthy savings I can dip into if absolutely necessary.
The way I was raised, I thought a job for teens was necessary but I was certainly squeezed by activities and work when I was a kid. Fortunately for my children, we were not in a position to require them to work except summers and so they were able to maintain their grades and their activities, and those things have paid off, not just financially but in terms of the skills they learned. Music and athletics are demanding in different ways, and they teach social and leadership skills, as well as drawing on a person's inner strength, in a way that a typical teen job in retail or fast food is less likely to. (Poor construction but you get my drift, I hope.) My children didn't work like I did as a teen, but they have turned out to be functional, hardworking adults with much better people skills than I had at their ages. Maybe that's a social class difference as well, but in any case, I was overruled by my husband about the kids' need to work and turned out he was right.
It is good to hear that this is a short term austerity plan with a long term goal that will have your kids educated, you working waaaayyy less, house and car paid for and then, whee! I guess what I mean is that it is clear that you have both short term and long term goals operating here.
I loved lhamo's suggestion of getting those bright kids in on the calculations. When they see that they cost so much, they may not have suggestions but they probably will generate even more appreciation. Maybe......
shadowmoss
2-27-12, 3:43pm
$100/mo for kids clothes? Hmmm. I'm thinking half that and the rest is provided by the kids if they want more clothes.
flowerseverywhere
2-27-12, 5:35pm
wanted to chime in that it is a false assumption, court ordered or not, that paying or help paying for a kids education will make them appreciate it less. I took on extra shifts and DH worked overtime to try to get our kids out of school almost debt free. They worked hard at school and are now successful professionals and have thanked us many times for the sacrifices we made. One DIL who had no help from her parents is bitter and felt she missed out on a lot from her experience.
YMMV but just to remind that like with everything else, each child is an individual. I applaud the poster for thinking of education and trying to help her kids as much as she can. It sounds like the kids are doing very well, and they have the rest of their lives to work. Enjoying music or sports can be a highlight of a young persons life and make them a much better adjusted and happy child leading to a much better and happy adult.
College is court-mandated amount. No way to change it. She's said that twice already.
Court orders can be changed. Get a lawyer and petition the court. It happens all the time.
flowerseverywhere
2-28-12, 7:15pm
Court orders can be changed. Get a lawyer and petition the court. It happens all the time.
how would you feel if one of your parents did that? I would feel awful.
Court orders can be changed. Get a lawyer and petition the court. It happens all the time.
Yes, and most of the time the winners are the lawyers. I have petitioned the court, with DS#1, when I had a solid case and received an 4 fold increase in child support. However, with the younger kids, their father is a self-employed farmer. He can hide income in the farm's assets and depreceation of it's assets. I do not have a strong legal case and it is a waste of money (IMHO) to sue for a change.
The good news, for me, is that I have smart kids. I do not have to say a word and they can cipher out the inequeties of the situation. They know who takes yearly vacations to Mexico and who spends vacations painting the house.
I thank you all for your help and input.
Though I am tired...I feel ready to take on the next step.
Bring it on. [fists up, knees bent]
Go Girl, the team within your home and here is with you!!!
Go Girl, the team within your home and here is with you!!!
Damn. That brought tears to my eyes. I must be tired. :D
early morning
2-28-12, 8:49pm
Fawn, just saw this thread and have to say that really, what you have already done is pretty amazing. You have some great ideas, and if the kids are involved in the planning, I'm sure they will also have some good input - in fact, they will probably amaze you. Best of luck cutting down to full time! I second razz!
Dawn
I wanted to give you all an update.
When I sat down with the kids, they looked at the budget and didn't hesitate to decrease by 50-75% their Christmas and birthday gifts.
But, I am having a change of strategy. After spending some time over the past weekend playing with the financial aid calculators at 3 of the universities that beloved daughter is looking at, I can see that we may be far better off to stop saving for college NOW.
If I have zero assests besides my house and car, she will likely be afforded far more money and only have to come up with a couple thousand dollars per year.
It is a gamble, but it feels good betting on my kids and their talents and hard work. If I lose my gamble, the only extra money I will be out will be the interest I pay on money I borrow to pay my court-ordered portion. I can live with this choice and having an extra thousand a month now to pay for what they need/want now and maximize my retirement accounts.
Thanks all for your interest and help.
Plus Fawn, you always have the ability to take on some additional work for a short time to make up any difference with current income. That flexibility also should be considered in future planning.
Fawn, I'm a bit late to this, but I'm new to the board. I applaud the thoughtful way you've approached this situation and I appreciate the openness you've shown the board (and, later, your kids). I am looking at a similar transition, for somewhat-similar reasons, and the way you've set out to address this change has been instructive for me. I wish you the best in making this happen!
One thing to think about as you save for retirement is that money you contribute to a Roth can be withdrawn at any time without penalty -- that could be a good backup plan so that if you have difficulty securing loans for the amount you need to pay you still have something to tap into for your court-ordered contribution to the college fund. And if they get good financial aid packages, you won't have to touch it.
Glad your kids are working with you on this -- they rock, and so do you!
lhamo
I wanted to give you all an update three months in to the "part-time" gig. It's actually going very well. I'm working about 30-36 hours/week. I'm scheduled for 3 eight hour days, but that means actually working 3 ten-twelve hour days. I got a merit raise in June and I paid off the car out of savings. I also renegotiated my mortgage to 3% interest on the remaining 8.5 years of a 15 year mortgage. Here's what expenses have averaged for past three months:
Credit union (for irregular large expenses like house & car insurance, house taxes and replenishment of the emergency fund $ 300.00
Mortgage (8.5 years left on 15 year loan at 3%) $602.30
Home repair and decorating $272 (replaced rusted gutters, fixed hole in porch roof, installation of new range hood)
Utilities (water, sewer, gas, electric, trash, internet) $197
Cell phones (four, family plan) $126
Gas for automobile (most of these miles are for work) $129
Car maintenance $ 351 (includes new tires, 6 months of auto insurance and plates)
MD/Rx/DDS $20
Groceries $374 (I know I can do better than this)
Fawn expenses (clothes, wine, entertainment) $ 173 (I can do better here too--though I have decided to keep the gym membership)
School and activities fees $65 (which will go up sharply in August/Sept. This amount is school supplies and cost of attending state track meet)
Chores (what I pay the kids to work around the house) $92
Kid’s clothing $200 (includes 7 pair pants for kid who grew 6" this past year)
Cats $ 25
Christmas $0
Music lessons $278
Household (TP, printer ink, shampoo, etc) $ 69
Gifts $ 65
Vacation (spent $948 in June--$78/month if amortized over the year. Spent about $250 more than planned as it was so beastly hot we went spelunking instead of hiking on mountain trails. Very cool. And the money had been saved prior to the trip)
Gym membership $34
So average $ 3150/month living expenses. $3415 including credit union.
I see no reason to justify music lessons. To me, for kids, that's a must.
try2bfrugal
8-2-12, 2:30pm
To me a must would be retirement savings first and things like gym memberships and music lessons would be lower priorities, but you have to do what works for you. Our kids get $400 a year for clothes each and that has seemed to work out, even when they were still growing. They have to pay for their data plans and any extra clothes out of their chore or part time job money.
There is a recent retirement thread with some good food for thought on retirement savings -
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/showthread.php?5463-Retirement-for-most-people-is-like-asking-a-dog-to-dance-on-two-legs
Well, it is certainly true that after we have food and shelter, what are priorites are personal preference.
I am saving 9% of my gross salary with 3% matching from employer. Plus I have about $13,000 per year in a defined benefit pension (exact amount depends on when I retire) plus social security, if it exists. Plus I can be real creatively frugal, so I don't mind not having a million to retire.
My kids are my priority for now. Once they get through college, I expect them to be indepedent. They know this.
And I figured out in the last three months that I need the exercise for my sanity and it has been too damn hot to do it outside.
Fawn, Way to go on getting your mortgage re-adjusted! You rock!
I don't see where you say how many children you have. Whether you have 2 or 20 kids, $300 a month for feeding a family is a very frugal number and reflects careful planning and home cooking, kudos to you.
I like the suggestion about having a frank "we're all in this together" type discussion with the kids. This can really bring you together as a team. I think the kids might be willing to reduce the allowance much lower when they see what you are saving for college and paying for music lessons and school activities. (By the way, I think these are very worthwhile investments in children's lives, for now and the future.) I would also talk to them about clothing expenditure.
I actually agree that a gym membership is an essential for many people---I have continued my dance lessons through thick and thin, prioritizing it over retirement savings some years because it is an investment in my health and in my ability to continue to earn my salary in the first place and to stave off costly medical expenses in the future. I truly believe that some of us flexible, strong oldsters whom I see around the studio are going to have a far healthier profile as a group than our peers who didn't get the encouragement or support or opportunity to exercise regularly.
Anyway, enough of my soapbox. I'm glad you got a raise and that you paid off that car loan, double way to go!!!
cjones--I really can't take much credit for my mortgage happiness. 12 years ago, I borrowed from the bank of Mom & Dad, thinking that it was a win-win. They got my interest as income and I knew that if catastrophe struck that they would not forclose on me. Fast-forward many years, dad died, mom is the owner of the mortgage and is busy scoping out the ads for prime mortgage rates. Over the years, we have reduced the rate from close to 6% for 30 years to 3% for 15 years. All to my advantage. (Thanks mom!!) And for that awful 6 month period where MRIs revealed DD's "brain spots" and I contemplated what it would mean to quit work to care for a child after brain surgery, at least I didn't have to worry about losing our home. However, DD "brains spots" are not malignant and all is well and I have never missed a payment to the Bank of Mom.
I am blessed w/ awesome kids. They are strongly motivated to do what is necessary to get college paid for and get out of Springfield. Can't blame them there. They have had more serious stuff to deal with than most kids...and my own life experience and work training as lead me to believe that putting things on the table and talking about them is the best way to problem-solve. I might think that I have a great solution, but if I am the only one in the household who thinks so...it's not that great. That said, I am a benovolent dictatorship--not a democracy. Every now and then beloved DS#2 will instruct me how to be a better parent. It is usually related to his belief that I am not strict enough on DS#3. We do not vote on those issues. I feel like my experience counts for something.
We do talk about expenses. I let the kids look at the monthly ledger of accounts. If someone wants something that seems out or reach, we talk about how it might be obtained. (i.e. DS #3 wants some expensive drum equipment. We have identified toys/possessions of his that he is willing to let go. I will help him Craiglist the Legos and blocks and stuff and he can then take the cash to buy a crash cymbol.)
I'm OK w/ my decision for the gym membership to continue. Percentage of income, I spend little on myself and this is a healthy indulgence. Yeah me!
As soon as my son was old enough to manage it he worked. This ment mowing lawns, running errands on his bike for an elderly neighbor, clearing snow off the cars in the parking lot of the apartment building across the street etc... (that started around age 8). Once old enough for a real job he got one. He had to pay all his expense. Music lessons, cell phone texting, clothing/shoes beyond our $150 a year budget per person. Gift giving, gas for car, school needs beyond basic supplies such as band fees, dances, field trips and so on. He also paid for all his senior activiies including senior photos. It also ment that he had to choose carefully what activities he would participate in and which he would not. He did not for example choose to get a class ring or a year book. He chose class trips instead. The real world is about having to make choices and this gave him a taste of what that was like.
I did not pay for chores. Those were expected of him as a member of the family and as they were expected of everyone and noone sat arround while others were working on their own chores. There was no resentment.
If your kids are old enough for a car, they are old enough to have a job outside of the home to pay for their own expenses. JMO. That alone would free up over $350 a month right there.
artist--you are right, I could cut expenses by having the kids work for pay and pay their own way. Since my primary goal is not to reduce expenses to the bare minimum but to do the best job of preparing my kids to be adults, I have chosen a different strategy.
I have encouraged their studying, school activites and music and sport interests over them maximizing their income. DD is poised to attend an excellent college that usually costs $58,000 per year for free. We'll know soon if that is going to work out for her. Even if not, I am satisfied with the strategy.
It sounds as though your strategy worked for you and your son. Thankfully, there are many paths to success.
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