kids and divorce [Archive] - Simple Living Forums

cx3

3-9-12, 9:52am

I have to really accept the possibility that I may be facing a divorce.My wife wants to move 40 miles away to be closer to work.I want to stay here.(Not the reason behind the not set in stone divorce)My sons are 12 and 14.Would a judge force them to go w/their mother,or would they be able to make up their own minds on whether to stay or go? Both of us are employed,and squeaky(sp) clean,meaning no red flags that would sway a judge as to where the kids should go.
Any resources you could direct me to would also be appreciated.

sweetana3

3-9-12, 12:44pm

You know it all depends on the state and even the judge involved.

puglogic

3-9-12, 1:24pm

Sorry you're facing this. I'd speak to an attorney, cx3, about the laws and the "climate" in your state. If this comes to pass, perhaps you should work out a joint custody arrangement that's good for everyone. Forty miles isn't very far.

Tradd

3-9-12, 2:49pm

I have to really accept the possibility that I may be facing a divorce.My wife wants to move 40 miles away to be closer to work.I want to stay here.(Not the reason behind the not set in stone divorce)My sons are 12 and 14.Would a judge force them to go w/their mother,or would they be able to make up their own minds on whether to stay or go? Both of us are employed,and squeaky(sp) clean,meaning no red flags that would sway a judge as to where the kids should go.
Any resources you could direct me to would also be appreciated.

CX, I have to ask the obvious question: why is a move of 40 miles such a deal breaker? There must be other contributing issues.

redfox

3-9-12, 5:14pm

And if divorce seems like the path, please consider couples counseling and a negotiated seperation for a time. I highly recommend finding a Gottman trained marriage conselor. Check out Dr. John Gottman's website.

To your question, the laws vary... An attorney is the best resource to answer your question. Yes, divorce is expensive. My bias: your children need and deserve both parents in equal measure. Oh, and take a look at the classic book, Mom's House, Dad's House - Making Shared Parenting Work. When I did divorce mediation, it was required reading for my clients, and was always helpful. Be proactive as a parent on behalf of your children!

Good luck, my dear.