View Full Version : Aging consciously or just getting old?
I often get these flashes of insight from working with my clients. One is helping put together a conference called "The Art of Aging," and it really made me think. The organizers talk about the difference between aging consciously --- paying attention, enjoying the unique gifts of this phase of life, etc. --- and just plain getting old. I like to think that I am doing the former, but I'm not sure.....sometimes it just seems like I'm letting age take me, and I'm not celebrating or using much self-awareness about it. It is what it is, much of the time.
I know there are a lot of folks here who are at that sort of "oops, guess I'm getting older" stage. Are you doing anything special to ensure that your later years are good ones, just as good or better than your younger years?
SO much is uncontrolable with age. Setting finances aside as that is a different topic for me, I am set on staying fit. Fit, active and strong which I hope will help keep me healthy in as much of that as I can control. I try to eat healthy also. I fret about "looking" older, but really I know I can not hold back the night. I am not ready to wear Mom jeans, but try to dress my age. I have "plans" and hope to follow them: that when I can not drive, I give up the keys well before it is too late. That I do not talk medical issues to everyone that will listen, yes we all have an older senior who seems to only speak of aches and pains. That I try to stay current on what is going on the world and not just how I see it, Oh wait maybe I should practice that now. That I be happy not a crabby old person.
I am 64 and having the time of my life!! I love being retired--I love going back to bed for a morning nap if I want to, I love shopping when it's not crowded, I don't have to hurry. I have a neuromuscular condition that is just part of my life but other than that I am in very good health. Financially I am in good shape there so I'm not always stressed and worried about money as so many older women are. I love being old and not caring a fig what anyone thinks. Here's a wonderful poem that sums it up:
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/warning/
My father's favorite saying was that if he had known he was going to live so long, he would have taken better care of himself. The image in my head of my parent's avoidable illnesses and early deaths spur me on to take care of the health aspect. At 57, I feel like I am entering an interesting phase of life - a pull down a different road since none of the strivings of the material world hold much appeal anymore. I don't care about things like twitter,facebook and smart phones; I care about birds and plants and nature. I still get up and go to work everyday but I dream of the freedom Florence speaks of in retirement - to sleep, to wander, to try new things. I am slowly doing that in my spare time now so that I can fully investigate these things when I do have the time. I have heard it said one should ask oneself " how old would you think you are if you didn't know? If I can get my ducks in a row financially, I am really looking forward to my 60s.
I work at fitness, mental acuity, and spiritual development.
Second to this, community development, family connections, and financials.
So, yoga, hiking and healthy diet, mental stimulation (learning new skills, keep reading, puzzles and games, staying engaged), and then of course meditation of various sorts.
I make community connections in a lot of ways, we are discussing adoption (in about 5-7 years after the debt is paid off -- possibly a sibling group, possibly international), and of course our current business, debt repayment, retirement and savings and so on.
I don't actively think about aging at all, or trying to do specific things to stop (or delay) it. I still act like a 12 year old tomboy and live my life that way (although I'd like to think I'm a little bit of a sexy tomboy :-)!). Play hard, get dirty, sweat, climb things and then leap off them, don't care much about my looks (although I am still fairly attractive for an old broad and am dating a much younger guy :-)!) or care how others view me or feel about me. I'm very physically active, eat a healthy mostly raw foods vegan diet, wear sunscreen, don't smoke, don't really drink much, dress totally inappropriately for my age (again, dress like a 12 year old tomboy in shorts, tee shirts and sneakers most of the time, long hair in a pony tail and no make-up) and basicly just live my life without much thought or concern for aging. So I guess that means I'm not aging consciously but just getting old instead. I hope I'll be the oldest 12 year old tomboy-girl in the world someday :-)!
I hope I'll be the oldest 12 year old tomboy-girl in the world someday :-)!
Something tells me that you will. LOL!!
Something tells me that you will. LOL!!
If I don't kill myself first - that's always a possibility :-)!
At age 68, I am really enjoying life. I need to lose 40lbs and am on my way doing so, went grey smoothly, have good skin and good health. I enjoy the Metopera in HD, theatre, ballet, music, art, gardening, and learning new activities, recipes and a wide diversity from the lectures from The Great Courses.
I have enough money to meet my simple wishes and life is good. I go where I want, when I want in my little Vibe, walk my dog twice daily to keep fit and have a comfortable family and social life. What is there to regret or lack?
Periodically, I do the 'what if' and how would things change but so far I have adapted and enjoyed the changes along the way. I don't count birthdays nor expect any limitation from the them and I think that this makes a huge difference in my mental approach to life.
I'm not unlike you, Spartana. Except that I don't dress the same. :D
Mighty Frugal
3-23-12, 10:12pm
Spartana, I think I'm like you too-although I am a 7 year old...and love my Barbies-but I still knock on stranger's door and run away (I'm 46)
I think that is the fountain of youth. Never let the child inside you die. My 2 sisters and I are planning on hiding out overnight inside a department store when the eldest is 80, the 2nd is 76 and I will be 74...we've been talking about this for over 30 years....28 more years to go! We figure nobody s going to arrest 3 dotty old ladies. Time will tell
Definitely aging consciously. The lesson I've learned over the years from observing my clients is to move, move, move. Movement is life! While there are certainly changes I have little control over I accept them but will not be defeated by them. I am not interesting in creating a false youth (I'm speaking of plastic surgery), but in keeping up a vibrant life no matter what my age. It's so great to hear the positive attitudes of everyone that has posted.
cattledog
3-24-12, 11:39am
Hmm, this is a very good question. I'm 40, so I'm not *that* old yet.
I'm at the point though where I'm aware of the aging process. I'm getting gray. My laugh lines are getting a little deeper. C'est la vie. I'm not interested in fighting it. I haven't dyed my hair yet. I reserve the right to change my mind though. :)
LOL Mighty Frugal........go for it!!
I'm 62 (but look 80). I have so many interests and hobbies, but my arthritis has really put a damper on things. I love having chickens, a big garden, water gardens, birdwatching, etc., etc., etc. But my fibromyalgia and arthritis have really dampened my spirits. I'm amazed at how early my body has started to deteriorate. I try to think of ways to continue to be able to do some of these things, but its still a challenge.....especially when it hurts to just use my hands, or walk.
One thing that's been wonderful is my golf cart. Its raised with big tires and I ride all over our property and feel like its given me wings. I can enjoy nature so much now because of it. But my mechanic closed up shop and I need to find another one, which is proving to be a challenge.
I was so strong and independent for so many years. Its really hard to adjust to losing that. At least I'm still the alpha male to my chickens. hahaha
There's still so much to be grateful for, and enjoy doing.
HumboldtGurl
3-24-12, 3:53pm
As I watch my parents succumb to the "I'm getting old and there's nothing I can do about it" syndrome (which DH's parents also did), I am committed to doing all I can to stay mentally and physically vibrant as I age, without actually "fighting" the process. Well, OK, except for my regular hair coloring....I'm such a hypocrite! I just can't surrender to the gray yet! I'm giving myself till I'm 50.
I stay creative, work out several times a week, reach out to as many people as I'm able in order to build my social ties and whenever I catch myself thinking that my creaky knees are just the result of getting old, I STOP that thought. Because I really feel that once you start thinking you're getting old, you will.
The attitudes about aging here are fantastic, and a lot like mine. I really don't let my age get in the way of things I enjoy most and I do all I can to ensure that as I age, I'm as strong as I can be. After all, since I don't have any kids, I've gotta look out for #1!
Oh and DH feels the same way too.
HumboldtGurl
3-24-12, 3:56pm
But my fibromyalgia and arthritis have really dampened my spirits. I'm amazed at how early my body has started to deteriorate.
Cathy I'm so sorry! That has got to be so rough.
I hope you find a new mechanic soon. Your attitude of gratefulness will carry you far.
I've made it a point to push myself physically and not give in to aches and pains. I've seen too many older folks do that and then *really* go downhill. I recently read a book by a disenchanted doctor who recommended an hour of physical labor a day instead of an exercise regime, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Exercise routines bore me to death and I get impatient to get on with what I want to do, so instead I do it - clean the house, haul boxes out to the shed, move furniture, et cetera.
I'm also being cautious about running to the doctor about every little thing. The fewer prescriptions, tests, and procedures in my life, the better. Old age is not a disease.
I love to read and do research - especially about health - on the Internet and I'm looking into becoming a trained herbalist. (Take THAT, Mainstream Med! :~))
Taking good care of your body and mind are key to aging consciously, I think. Eat right, try to stay at your optimal weight, exercise regularly at whatever stirs your blood and makes you sweat, and keep trying new things.
I'm 77 now, and still very active and loving life. I'm an art fair artist who reinvented myself a year ago and started winning awards for my new art. I am scheduled to do 8 art fairs between late April and mid July, with at least 8 more pending after that. I'll be singing in the chorus of Pinafore at the local university right after Easter (still wrestling with all that memorization, but it is SO good for me!) and have been working in the garden and riding the motorcycle now that spring has burst upon the northern Indiana scene. I know that this can't last forever, but I am enjoying the ride for as long as it will take me.
HumboldtGurl
3-25-12, 5:01pm
I'm 77 now, and still very active and loving life.
You are my inspiration Tweety! Thank you for leading the way for us younger folks and defying the "old age" stereotypes!
You are my hero Tweety!!!
Age is only a number...I am watching my parents age and it breaks my heart, mom is 60 and dad is 67 and they are ready to throw in the towel already. I plan on enjoying life till the end and then some! Thank you Tweety, I want to be just like you!
Citrine, my folks are much older then yours, but I watched the same thing happen mid 70s. I want to yell, get out and about! Join the senior center, go play Bingo or something. Bob Evans and Big Boy are not entertainment! Neither is watching the neighbors or reading the Obits :(
OMG I joined a Cycling board today, I thought I was just one of those crazy bikers. Then I see they have a "special" section for the "over 50 riders". :( Now I feel old and classified into the AARP group.
Age is only a number...I am watching my parents age and it breaks my heart, mom is 60 and dad is 67 and they are ready to throw in the towel already.
This varies so much from person to person. My father did physical work part-time into his 70s with a man of the same age, and my mother basically sat into a chair in her late 60s and never moved again.
OMG I joined a Cycling board today, I thought I was just one of those crazy bikers. Then I see they have a "special" section for the "over 50 riders". :( Now I feel old and classified into the AARP group.
Ha Ha!! It's not like us people over 50 need a special group to ride with because we are too decrypted to ride with "regular" people. I mean, it's not like we are having to use training wheels on our bikes is it ;-)!
But seriously, this is the one area where I am a bit worried about getting old and creaky - physical activity. My entire life and social structure (ALL my relationships pretty much) revolves around sports and recreational activities. They are the ONLY hobbies I have, and really my only interests right now. If I have to give up playing sports or am unable to do physical stuff in the future when I get to an age where I can't participate at the high level I do now, many of my relationships will end too. I can already see some changes taking place and wonder how long I'll be able to keep up with the young uns. I could care less about my looks fading or not being stylish, but having to stop playing my beloved sports, as well as other physical activities, and I may just curl up and die! I just can't picture myself sitting in a rocking chair playing canasta all day at the senior center. Not much I can do about that except to keep as fit as I can and hope for the best. Maybe start looking for other hobbies and interests to get involved in when that time comes. Hopefully it will never come and I'll die while trying to climb Everest in my 90's :-)!.
I had a yoga student who would comment everything with "but I'm FIFTY!"
Like, Inhale "I"M 50!" exhale "I'm 50!" fold forward, relax, bend your knees, and bring your hands to the ground! "BUT I'M 50!!!!"
Finally, my student -- Louise -- started to say "I'm 75!" every time she did it. HILARIOUS!
So the class would go like this:
Me: Inhale, reaching up! then as you exhale, gently bend toward the right as far as you ca.. .
Her: I'M 50!
Louise: I'm 75!
Me: Coming back up, do the other side!
Her/Louise: 50! 75!
Me: Gently fold forward, bend your knees, chest to thighs!
Her/Louise: I'm 50!/75!
After that class, she never fussed again, but it took about 20 minutes of louise countering every 50! with 75! and since louise was working on her handstands, no one was allowed to say they couldn't do it. They could say they were scared, but they couldn't say that they couldn't due to age. :)
I see 50 as young. Anyone else?
I think it is on me. :) At 50, I'm in better physical condition, better cardiovascular shape, stronger, calmer than I ever have been. Aside from the occasional physical glitch. Now whether that'll continue is anybody's guess! But I'm hoping so.
Oh Zoebird that is great! I feel better, can run farther,bike longer then 20 something. It is because I never did it then. I guess that is what bothers me, is I feel young and then I see things like on the cycling board for 50+ or Active 50 groups at the gym. I feel I can keep up with the best of them. My sibling bowls in the senior leagues at 53, I say OFCOURSE they should beat the 85 year olds!!!
Zoebird....that is fantastic!
My father is working 2 fulltime jobs as an independant contractor and both are done remotely from home....he has FIVE computers in his room and he has them all on at the same time.
My mother works as an aide in the public schools and the only physical activity she has is shopping.
Neither of them have ever worked out, joined any sports, or the like. However, I did get my dad to join a yoga class which he attends sporadically.
Zoebird, what a funny story! I have clients, younger than myself, that complain and say things like "Well, I am getting older". It all gets back to movement, as a yoga instructor I know you understand how powerful asana and pranayama is for keeping us all "young". Thanks so much to all the older, active women that continue to inspire me.
Ha Ha - Very funny story Zoe. I play volleyball with a friend of mine's daughter. She's a very good player but is always complaining about how she's soooo old now and everything hurts and it's not like it was when she was a college or high school player. When she starts whining I remind her of my ancientness and it usually stops her complaints. She's 21 ;-)!
yeah, it's hilarious.
most of our friends (between age 30 and 40) are constantly talking about how "aged" they are and how 'nothing is the same.' All we really notice is that we are early to bed, early to rise, and that it takes longer to recover from a late night (or jet lag) than it did before. BUT, i think this is because it is chronic (since we ahve a little one) NOT because it's inherently a problem because of age. We just need our "beauty sleep!"
oh, and very old yoga dude: 101! :) (http://www.yogadork.com/news/101-year-old-yogi-shows-us-his-yoga-video/)
There was always a place for all things, of course, but if you react to aging process in a way like you race to beat the time then I`d ask you to take a deep breath and just relax and focus on a different perspective of aging.The different perspective of aging is experience and wisdom that you get from you age as you get old.I equate age as getting better than worse.Older people are a repository of power of experience and wisdom.So the conclusion is that feel aging as a better thing(in my opinion)!
I became aware of the fact that I'm aging about 2 years ago with a sudden change in my looks---argh! Fortunately, I've been dancing for a long time, so I think I look the same from the neck down as I did 40 years ago. I am so grateful I haven't had any of those terrible health events that would make it hard or impossible to keep moving. I'm more aware now of how I spend my time, less likely to waste it on books or situations I don't enjoy and more likely to make time for my friends. I find I have more patience now because it just isn't worth the energy to be irritated by trivial things. For financial reasons I hope I can keep working full time for many years, but whenever fate or heaven decree that I can't do that I look forward to doing volunteer work. I would say the glass is pretty close to full!
There was always a place for all things, of course, but if you react to aging process in a way like you race to beat the time then I`d ask you to take a deep breath and just relax and focus on a different perspective of aging.The different perspective of aging is experience and wisdom that you get from you age as you get old.I equate age as getting better than worse.Older people are a repository of power of experience and wisdom.So the conclusion is that feel aging as a better thing(in my opinion)!
Yes! I agree. I just turned 60 and so what? As a matter of fact, when I see my kids, in their late 20s/early 30s, talking about relationship issues, work issues, etc. etc. all I can think of is the Maurice Chevalier song "I'm glad I'm not young anymore!" Would we want to run outside with cans of polyurethane and spray all the trees green to preserve their summertime look? No way--we'd miss out on the beauty of the fall!!
I feel so liberated from so many aspects of a younger life.. I can only quote my dear departed mother, who every time we brought her to my house she would say over and over in a singsongy kind of way, "I'm so happy to be here!"
Catherine, What a beautiful post. I can just hear your mother! Yes, indeed, "so happy to be here."
Aging? Yes, I'm doing it more every day, but as long as I don't look too carefully in the mirror, I don't feel my age too much. And luckily my eyesight is dimmer, so the wrinkles look softer!
Me, I think it's better "to wear out" than "rust out." Just back from a vacation doing some bicycling on the Great Allegheny Passage Trail (GAP trail) in PA and MD--did you know you can bike all the way--350 miles-- from Pittsburgh to Washington DC as the trail connects to the C & O Trail? Anyhow, we didn't do all that, just some segments. One day was 22 miles...to celebrate my 66th birthday. Wild flowers galore, a rushing, laughing river, flocks of butterflies, trees arching greenly overhead, pedals quietly turning--a birthday memory was made!
Sure, I'm no jock, and my rear and knees were a bit sore the next day, but I plan to try new adventures as long as I'm able. There will be time enough later to sit in my easy chair and ruminate over these times...but I sure hope I don't regret not having done something when I could have.
Already plotting my next adventure...if I can save the pennies, I'd love to do another bicycling tour somewhere pretty--and relatively flat--or maybe a gentle walking tour in the Lake Country of England...want to join me? Simple Travel for Simple Living folks.
awakenedsoul
6-8-12, 9:33pm
I've become more conscious about it as I've gotten older. I used to dance professionally, and now I farm. I can't do the splits anymore, but I bet if I practiced every night they would come back. I walk or bike everyday, and do yoga or dance exercise in my living room almost every night. My body still looks very girlish, but I know it's because of the consistent discipline. I worked a lot with Juliet Prowse. She still had the best body in the show when she was in her sixties! She took lots of classes and did yoga everyday. I decided then that I wanted to be like her. It really makes a difference.
There's an excellent video on a group of people called the Hunza who seem to have discovered the "fountain of youth". They grow their own organic food, drink hard water, stay very physically active, and have a highly disciplined life. People who are trouble makers are kicked out and can't come back. I really resonated with their story and lifestyle. There's a book on them, too. It's called Secrets of the Soil. The footage in the video of the older people playing sports and doing martial arts is amazing! They have master energy. That's been my goal.
I'm aging gracefully. Just read that 20% of aging is controlled by genetics, whereas the other 80% is the result of ones lifestyle, contentment, etc. Keep your mind young!
HappyHiker
3-25-13, 1:42pm
I've really enjoyed reading all your comments and observations. Conscious aging is much on my mind. I've devoted more time to more physical activity--gym, yoga, bike riding, walking) and more time and exploration of delicious and health-giving ways to eat and cook.
Don't know about you, but I've always believed in what Hippocrates told us "Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food."
Eating a mostly vegetarian diet and increasing our consumption of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains has given us bountiful good health so far and helps keep our weight in check (no sodas! no junk food!! no store or factory made baked goods!)...
And, of course, I love reading any supporting documentation/studies that tell me dark chocolate and red wine are health foods...
--To your health!
ApatheticNoMore
3-25-13, 2:13pm
I don't know where they are getting 20% of a vague "aging" being controlled by genetics. It doesn't sound entirely believable, especially when you look at actual *diseases* and read things like "the heritability of Alzheimers Disease is estimated to be 60-80%" (https://www.23andme.com/health/alzheimers/). Oh that from a site that let's you get a genetic analysis of your own genome, fascinating stuff, and has lots of information on estimated genetic contribution to diseases. That is an incredibly depressing statatistic about Alzheimers though (no I have not had my genome done yet - I'm not holding any losing cards with any certainty though one may suspect). Athough I take their 60-80% stat with a grain of salt as well, because I'm pretty sure they are getting it through statistical analysis and correlation, which may be decent, but frankly is lacking something when noone fully understands the actual mechanism of *causation* of Alzheimers IMO. Anyway donate to Alzheimers research :~)
But I definitely prefer people who take some responsibilty for their health to those who don't. Even if things are in a decent part genetics, it can only help.
poetry_writer
3-25-13, 2:25pm
I was surprised when i began to have the symptoms of arthritis last year. I am 55. I get a bit annoyed when people say "OH you have to exercise"...or "eat healthy and it will get better".......Stuff happens when you get older. No one likes to think about it and we make the best of it. Its hard to exercise when getting out of bed hurts..and hurts a lot. I moved into this upstairs apartment two years ago and now find it hard to climb the stairs.....I may have to move in the summer when my lease is up. It is hard to lift my grandchild. This may sound like a grouchy post, I dont mean it to be so...enjoyed reading all the comments. My point is there is much we do not control about the aging process. No one ever thinks they will get old and sick really..... it seems so unreal until something goes wrong with the old bod. Accepting it as part of life is what I am doing. I dont much like it.
goldensmom
3-25-13, 2:30pm
I think not at all about aging unless someone brings it up or I get caught up in world events on the news and realize just how glad I am that I am not young and have to do life from the beginnig again. I see so many positives to aging that it overwhelms the negatives.
I think what Mrs.-M said true about 80/20.
I work with a woman who is just my age - she looks twenty years older than me. I always think about doing a makeover on her. She could look so much better!
A lot of it is just what she's choosing to do regarding self-presentation. Dropping some weight would help her I think, both body-wise and facially. Sun screen every day - no brainer. The main issue I think is that her short hair is in a tight little frizzy perm, which has been code for "old lady" since before I was born. Why do that? It's so easy not to have that kind of hair. In fact, she must be going to some effort to do that perm every few weeks. When she started dying her hair ginger-colored, I thought that was an improvement - although the color fades fast and turns to a weird light orange. I once urged her to go even redder. One of the compensations of this time of life, I think, is that you can add an element of artifice, and it works. Definite choices can improve your looks. I'm not saying a more vibrant hair color in a better cut would make her look younger, necessarily, but it could definitely improve her wow factor.
I grew up in the 60s and 70s when the model for what "great-looking" for women was, was changing. In the 50s of course, the woman you wanted to look like had a wasp waist and pearls, groomed eybrows, red lips and gloves. Sophistication was what we were after. Once the 70s hit, everybody wanted to looke like a sunkissed California girl.
I think the switch from a worship of sophistication to youth worship has been detrimental for women. Most of us don't look like teenagers after we cease to be teens. Some lucky women retain girlish attractiveness, but most of us don't - and then where do you go with that?
I guess I'm advocating a return to glamour for the older woman. As an older woman you can add elements to create contrast, color, excitement. You can put forth a certain amount of effort to look more sophisticated, and those efforts will pay off, because older women have a lock on sophistication. What they don't do so well is look good in the stuff that's being marketed to the much younger woman. And this very youthful style is being held up in our culture as the ideal for all of us.
So I'm hoping to stay as youthful as I can physically, while adding more sophistication to my look - because I can get away with it now, and this is a look that suits my age better than the teen thing. I do see older women - and men too - who seem to have become infantilized by their clothing. I've seen way too many pairs of stretch pants covered with cats or birds or clowns, you know? Why not wear grown up attire, at an age when you really can do this convincingly and impressively?
One of my elder-fashion inspirations is a photo of American composer Amy Beach in her later years. She's sitting in a chair outside wearing a silk blouse and pearls and a longish skirt - her ankles are crossed as if she's conscious that she still has a great-looking ankle and a neat foot. She looks like a lady. She's from another age, I suppose. I just miss that.
Of course, not a great outfit to go hiking in! ;)
I'm aging gracefully. Just read that 20% of aging is controlled by genetics, whereas the other 80% is the result of ones lifestyle, contentment, etc. Keep your mind young!
...
But seriously, this is the one area where I am a bit worried about getting old and creaky - physical activity. My entire life and social structure (ALL my relationships pretty much) revolves around sports and recreational activities. They are the ONLY hobbies I have, and really my only interests right now. If I have to give up playing sports or am unable to do physical stuff in the future when I get to an age where I can't participate at the high level I do now, many of my relationships will end too. I can already see some changes taking place and wonder how long I'll be able to keep up with the young uns. I could care less about my looks fading or not being stylish, but having to stop playing my beloved sports, as well as other physical activities, and I may just curl up and die! I just can't picture myself sitting in a rocking chair playing canasta all day at the senior center. Not much I can do about that except to keep as fit as I can and hope for the best. Maybe start looking for other hobbies and interests to get involved in when that time comes. Hopefully it will never come and I'll die while trying to climb Everest in my 90's :-)!.
I've never had more than a passing interest in strenuous activity--any impulse I ever had in that direction ended when I blew out one of my congenitally ill-strung knees playing tennis--but I do like a nice ramble in a park or forest and a geriatric game of catch every once in awhile. So while my role model may be crusty old smoker Jeanne Calment or maybe Louise Nevelson, here's one for you, Spartana:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulda_Crooks
I could be aging better I guess, but I've already outlived a bunch of "healthy on paper" types, my brain still works, and aside from the craptastic knees and general lack of fitness I feel pretty good. As I get older (what a dirty trick!) I'm more careful about taking care of myself and I'm kind of surprised that it's paying off, since I believe a lot of "aging well" (talk about an oxymoron) is a matter of good genes and good luck. (Extrapolating from my parents' lifespans, it looks like I have another 20 years or so left. Not enough.)
One day at a time. I'm a day older than I was yesterday and a day younger than I'll be tomorrow. There are no guarantees in life, but so far, I smile every morning I wake up, no matter what # day it is--and so far I've had 22,265 mornings I've awakened to, JUST shy of 61 years. Tomorrow is my birthday.
Happy Birthday, Catherine, and may the earth go around the sun many more times for you!
Well, I am not trying to catch a mate, get a job, impress a boss or anyone else for that matter, get anything due to my looks, etc. I am a comfortable person who truly does not care. In fact, I kind of like seeing how sales people treat me when I walk into a store and "grade" the store by their behavior. I get the stinky eye look and I walk out. Note that our high end furniture store will never get my business because their treatment was poor. Too bad for them because I was in the store to spend. Treat me right and I will send a written compliment regarding your service. Just did that for our local grocery deli and Einstein Bagel store. I also told that high end furniture store about their treatment.
PS My husband just saw and old man with what appeared to be from the back a much younger woman. Woops, when she turned around she was just as old and looked foolish in the attire she chose to look "younger".
I get good service at Nordstrums regardless of what I am wearing or my older hairstyle and lack of makeup. Bed Bath and Beyond has well trained and extremely helpful employees who probably think I am a secret shopper.
Here is an article about Phyllis Sues (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/phyllis-sues-/aging-gracefully-phyllis-sues-yoga-tango_b_2878155.html) who is loving life at 90.
That's definitely the kind of 90 yr old that I want to be. Her body type is different than mine (more petite in a lot of ways), but she certainly looks great and lives very well (independently, etc).
Gardenarian
3-25-13, 5:40pm
Aging consciously or just getting old?
A little of both. I do all that stuff that is supposed to be good for you; according to "Real Age (http://www.realage.com/)" I'm almost ten years younger than my actual age. We can control a little bit of what happens to us as we age. I'm still falling apart, piece by piece.
I would say it's 90% genes, 9% luck, and 1% habits. I'm saying that as a person who exercises every single day, is slim, very fit, eats extremely well, meditates, etc. ad nauseum. I'm hoping all the good stuff I do, with a little luck, will tilt things in my direction. It's not happening so far.
Most of the time I don't think about my age at all; I feel I have as much potential as any other kid on the block. In the emotional sense, at least, age is state of mind. Physically...do what you can, hope for the best.
Here is an article about Phyllis Sues (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/phyllis-sues-/aging-gracefully-phyllis-sues-yoga-tango_b_2878155.html) who is loving life at 90.
That's definitely the kind of 90 yr old that I want to be. Her body type is different than mine (more petite in a lot of ways), but she certainly looks great and lives very well (independently, etc).
I've seen articles about her! She really is truly inspirational.
My 90-year old role model is my great-aunt, who was engaged and lovely until the day she died. Stood up straight, never came downstairs without dressing nicely, putting on earrings, pearls and lipstick, laughed and conversed easily.
And my DS's ex-girlfriend had an amazing grandmother who was just a couple weeks shy of her 100th birthday when she died, and up until that very day, she used to host jazz sessions in her home every few months (she was a jazz pianist). And she's in the Quilter's Hall of Fame. She, like my greataunt, also exuded joie de vivre, which I think is key.
I know 3 women who happen to be the same age, 86, and it is very interesting for me to observe them and think about how I'd like to be when I'm their age.
W has always been thin and healthy, but never was vibrant. Never had time for me when I was a kid, now she always says she wants me to visit (1000 miles away - I go about every 3 years). When I call her on the phone she tells me about all her aches and pains. When I'm visiting her TV is always on.
C knows W and says she's not giving up until she dies, unlike W (she says). She makes sure to keep moving as well as she can, which is with a walker. When I visited her last summer she gamely went downtown with me, even though the weather was quite hot, and she made me dinner one night. Like W, she lives in an assisted living facility - but she does a lot more for herself than W has done for at least 10 years. She can hold an interesting conversation.
D has recently undergone her third round of chemo in about 30 years or so. She walks a mile/day and stays current on world events. She has a large network and people come to visit her in her house, and she has many friends whom she sees at the local community center. Her "family" is very large because she is loving to everyone, and cares about everyone.
As for me, I am half their age. My face has aged a lot compared to 10 years ago, as I noted recently when looking through DD's baby pics! But my body is still in good shape and I don't have many of the conditions that my mom and aunt already had at my age, so I feel good about that. I stay active and often choose to stand over sitting, no matter what I'm doing, and I eat a nutrient-rich diet. I hope to be like D or at least C when I am older. Unfortunately, it's W with whom I share the most genes.
Happy birthday, Catherine! 61 years young - may I be as fun, smart, and compassionate as you when I reach that milestone (not far off now....)
As a nearly 58 year old with extra weight, gray hair & wrinkles, no makeup, wearing comfy clothes at home & decent ones out, I would be incredibly offended by the assumption that I should want to look younger or "do something" to look younger. Aging consciously is about integrity & my inner experience, as well as how I treat others in the world, not my hair color or how old I look. This is how nearly 58 looks on me, period.
At ~50, I just passed the firefighter medical standard for 21 year olds, my plan is to improve every year as long as I can...
And I'm still a bit tubby and creaky, so I've got a lot to work with!
Wildflower
3-26-13, 5:21am
You know, I'm ok with exactly who I am. I don't care what anyone else thinks I should look like. No make overs for me. I am 55. I look 55. I think I'm still very pretty with my long grey streaked hair, no make-up, and a little soft plumpness here and there. My DH tells me daily how beautiful I am. That's all that matters to me, I don't care what society thinks. I'm struggling with health problems very much now, that were handed to me genetically, runs in my family, and aging is causing even more deterioration. I've spent my life eating well, exercising, etc., everything one is supposed to do to stay healthy and active, but yet fate hands me ill health. Because of the damn diseases some days I have to use a wheelchair to get around. It's been beyond difficult to cope with, especially when doctors tell you it is only going to get worse.... So alot of aging concerns about appearance and such, seem very petty to me these days. I've got far more serious things to worry about, such as will I be able to get from the bedroom to the bathroom on my own two feet in the morning, much less will I be able to even get out of bed on my own in a couple years. *sigh*
Really it doesn't matter what you do, in the end life is a crap shoot. Truly. ;) I'm still enjoying it though. A sense of humor helps. :) Sorry if I vented too much here! I am NOT a complainer in real life...
goldensmom
3-26-13, 6:34am
Wish there was a ‘like’ button as there are a lots of posts that are ‘like button’ worthy. I’m glad to read of so many who are happy with what/who they are and where they are agewise as it is futile and a waste of time to feel otherwise.
Thanks, puglogic and razz!
Aging consciously is about integrity
The constant current in the media that portrays aging as a horrible thing makes this transition so much harder than it needs to be. Showing 35 year olds using anti-wrinkle cream is insulting to me or ads that men of a certain age now have low T. Acceptance and not resistance is what growing old gracefully and consciously means to me. I am finding my late 50s a bit bumpy though as I still have not fully accepted all that it might entail. Working at a university, I am surrounded by youth which is energizing. But at the same time, a part of me wants to slow down, move on and not be so concerned with appearances and everything novel. I am hopeful that I can finally feel comfortable with this whole process once I reach 60. If so, I think that decade and beyond will be pretty wonderful.
Aqua Blue
3-26-13, 11:36am
You know, I'm ok with exactly who I am. I don't care what anyone else thinks I should look like. No make overs for me. I am 55. I look 55. I think I'm still very pretty with my long grey streaked hair, no make-up, and a little soft plumpness here and there. My DH tells me daily how beautiful I am. That's all that matters to me, I don't care what society thinks. I'm struggling with health problems very much now, that were handed to me genetically, runs in my family, and aging is causing even more deterioration. I've spent my life eating well, exercising, etc., everything one is supposed to do to stay healthy and active, but yet fate hands me ill health. Because of the damn diseases some days I have to use a wheelchair to get around. It's been beyond difficult to cope with, especially when doctors tell you it is only going to get worse.... So alot of aging concerns about appearance and such, seem very petty to me these days. I've got far more serious things to worry about, such as will I be able to get from the bedroom to the bathroom on my own two feet in the morning, much less will I be able to even get out of bed on my own in a couple years. *sigh*
Really it doesn't matter what you do, in the end life is a crap shoot. Truly. ;) I'm still enjoying it though. A sense of humor helps. :) Sorry if I vented too much here! I am NOT a complainer in real life...
1+ I'm almost 60 and pretty much could have written your post. I was (finallY) diagnosed with Ankolosing Spondolosis. I too exercised, tried to keep the weight off, ate well etc. I actually still do those things as much as I can. But, I just closed two weeks ago on a handicap accessible house-zero clearance enteries, wheel chair accessible shower etc. I am needing a lot of help to get moved there, which also is hard, because I made many moves along the way with basically no help( I did the packing and unpacking etc which this time I can't do. It is a crap shoot!
awakenedsoul
3-26-13, 1:07pm
Loved the article on the 90 year old dancer, Zoebird. I took some Tango classes with the man in the photo with her. It was a disaster for me. She's amazing. I love her philosophies. I'm going to keep taking knitting classes and learning new things, too. It must be a dancer thing...we love going to class. Am thinking of taking a trip to Vienna, Austria, and learning German.
I've never had more than a passing interest in strenuous activity--any impulse I ever had in that direction ended when I blew out one of my congenitally ill-strung knees playing tennis--but I do like a nice ramble in a park or forest and a geriatric game of catch every once in awhile. So while my role model may be crusty old smoker Jeanne Calment or maybe Louise Nevelson, here's one for you, Spartana:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulda_Crooks
"When i grow up I want to be an old woman!!" As long as it's like Hulda :-)! I have no problem with getting older as long as I can do the things I like. So far I've been lucky and the body is aging fine so I can do lots of stuff - and expect to do more as I get older. And yes I just got a new superbike motorcycle for my B-day present. It was between a face lift and a bike, and the bike won out ;-)! I'd rather be doing those kinds of things as I age and look my age, then spend my time (and money) trying to look younger and more put together so I appear younger. Like most people, I do like to look more youthful, but not at the expense of having to shell out a lot of time or money for it. Rather just play instead!
Originally posted by Wildflower.
No make overs for me.Me either. Artificial (anything) is one of my biggest pet-peeves!
Me either. Artificial (anything) is one of my biggest pet-peeves!
Even when I am a 90 year old in a walker, I hope that my focus is not on how I look, but on enjoying my life. I'd rather spend my life feeling young and excited by life then focusing a lot of my energy on how to look younger. That is aging gracefully rather than getting old to me.
Me, too, Spartana. Out of all the old and wise people I have known over the course of my lifetime, those who remained upbeat, active, and sharp, are the ones I remember most. The mind, IMO, wields a lot of power in relation to this. Maybe... the mind is the magic key.
Wildflower
3-27-13, 11:44pm
Me, too, Spartana. Out of all the old and wise people I have known over the course of my lifetime, those who remained upbeat, active, and sharp, are the ones I remember most. The mind, IMO, wields a lot of power in relation to this. Maybe... the mind is the magic key.
The power of the mind is an awesome and wonderful thing, but it can't fix everything, in my experience... However, a sense of humor and a good attitude will get you through alot. :)
Yes, Wildflower, I'm a firm-believer is that. :) Positive thinking.
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