A warning

[Molly]

I haven't been on these boards for some time. I have an injury that makes it painful to sit, so I spend very little time at the computer, but I have been wanting to post this for awhile. I hope it helps somebody.

My warning is that even with the best plans, life can throw you something unexpected and turn your life upside down.

I've been a follower of Amy D. since her Tightwad Gazette newsletters and have been fairly frugal. I wanted to retire early and am retired now at 58, but it wasn't under the circumstances I envisioned.

Last year I was running with my dog when my hamstring tore from my sit bone. I could not walk or sit without extreme pain. At the same time, my retina detached and I had to have emergency surgery. A few months later I had surgery for skin cancer.

The hamstring injury would not heal, and since I could not sit or stand very long, I took early retirement, about two years earlier than planned. I then found out that I have an abnormality in my hip, and will probably have to have a hip replacement, although there is no guarantee it will correct my problem.

My medical bills have been horrendous, with all the copays and deductibles, even though I have medical insurance. And there is no end in sight as my medical issues are far from resolved.

Fortunately, since I had been fairly frugal, I had done some things right, but also some things wrong. I will share these.

The obvious right things were paying my credit cards in full and having automatic savings deductions from my paycheck. One of the best things I had done though was to pay myself to clean my house. For a short while I had cleaning help while I worked full time, but I hated spending the money only to see the house get dirty again. I decided to put that money into a special savings account over the past 15 years. I am so glad I did, because had I kept paying for cleaning, I would have had nothing to show for it, not even a clean house as it just gets dirty again.

What I did wrong was to refinance my house and extend the term. Had I not done that, it would have been paid in full by now. We have four more years. Also, I wish I had spent less on clothing - a lot less! So many of the items of clothing I couldn't live without, I no longer own. I never heard anyone say they wish they had spent more on clothing.

There had been discussion on these boards about cosmetic surgery and I was surprised at how many people advocated it. However, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! I take good care of myself - I am slender and athletic, eat a nutritious diet, exercise daily and yet I am basically handicapped. Had I spent money on botox, dermabrasion, or other anti-aging procedures, I would not have been able to pay my current medical bills.

One of my co-workers took out a three year loan to have several cosmetic procedures, then got laid off a month later. Again, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

My advice - if you are totally debt free, including mortgage, have a fully funded 401k, fully funded savings accounts for your kids college, then by all means, pay for cleaning help and spruce up your looks to your heart's content. But if not, live frugally, save regularly, find inexpensive ways to entertain yourself, learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look, and lower your standards of cleanliness for your house if you have to. Because you never know what can happen to you.

[rosarugosa]

Hi Molly, That's so true, we never know what life might throw our way, and it is always better to have some reserves on hand. I wish you the best with your medical issues.
I'm someone who has also spent way too much on clothes over the years. I've scaled back a lot, but I still spend too much. At least now I only spend what my allowance can cover.
I've never seriously considered paying for someone to clean my house, although I do work full-time plus. So I spend a lot of my time off doing household tasks, but that's also when I do my serious thinking. Today was all about the zen of spreading mulch and washing windows :)

[Aqua Blue]

Your post scares me alot! I'm the same age and haven't worked for the past 3 years. I have had big issues with Fibro and arthritis and got to the point where I couldn't stand the pain anymore. I moved to another state because I felt my money would go farther and to be closer to family and that meant I had to change health insurance. I could not get a policy without riders. My riders include all muscle, tendon and joint issues. If something would happen to me like that I would be sunk.

[Jemima]

It's good to hear from you again, Molly, and I'm very glad that you seem to be in better spirits. Your post makes an excellent point. It's astonishing how many people think tomorrow will be just like today, and all will be well - somehow!

[Kestrel]

..... I've never seriously considered paying for someone to clean my house, although I do work full-time plus. So I spend a lot of my time off doing household tasks, but that's also when I do my serious thinking.

Several years ago we did hire a good friend to clean our house once a week -- she was in so much financial difficulty she really needed the money, as little as it was. At the same time, we hired a different good friend to cook a casserole for us three times a week -- we provided all the ingredients, she just did the cooking. Desperate situation -- her husband left her and her three kids. I feel sure she kept out some of the food for the kids (and herself), but that was OK with us. We probably should have offered, but didn't think of it at the time. Anyway, we were pleased we were able to help them both for awhile. Sometimes it's what you do.

[tyman]

our government is criminal for not helping people like you with health issues. That's my opinion about our lack of affordable healthcare.

[peggy]

our government is criminal for not helping people like you with health issues. That's my opinion about our lack of affordable healthcare.

+1 President Obama is trying. Hopefully he will be re-elected so the most of his Obamacare can be implemented, which hasn't gone into effect yet.

[cjones]

Molly, I'm so sorry for your medical and health problems. You were taking good care of yourself, exercising, as everyone is supposed to do, and this is what happened. Our health care system is a disgrace.

I appreciate your advice, esp. your encouragement to spend less on clothing. (Are you the Molly who did the 12 month no-new-clothing challenge?) And AAAA-MEN to the warning about plastic surgery!! My sister got her eyes "done" and thank God nothing bad happened, but she looks exactly the same as she did before---beautiful before, beautiful after. But $10,000 less in the bank.

You have a lot to be proud of. Very few people get it 100% right. I wish you well and hope you will be able to post again from time to time.

[mtnlaurel]

Molly, thank you for your post.
Paying yourself for housecleaning = sheer genius

What's so hard right now in this hard-scrap economy....
Even if you do 'do the right things', you can still get kicked in the nuts and be out of the game.

[ctg492]

I wish you health. You are so correct we just never know what is ahead of us. You sound like you take good care of yourself and made very good choices in life with you money.
We too found out how fast an unexpected health issue can wisk the savings away. My son needed help. The issue and the bills were something that in our wildest dreams we could never have imagined happening to him or our family. Having the cash to handle it was a blessing. It also made us realize that the unexpected really does happen :(
I read many blogs and postings on the net about people who say they have little money and are so happy, that money is not everything, working only as they need too, living a free and simple life blah blah blah, they live day to day out of choice. I wonder have they ever had a health issue and the bills that go with it? Health wise, the really big big young people I see, do they consider the health issues they will face down the road? Another topic all together I suppose.

[Bastelmutti]

Paying yourself for housecleaning = sheer genius


+1

Best of luck with your health issues. I hope you find some relief soon.

[cattledog]

My advice - if you are totally debt free, including mortgage, have a fully funded 401k, fully funded savings accounts for your kids college, then by all means, pay for cleaning help and spruce up your looks to your heart's content. But if not, live frugally, save regularly, find inexpensive ways to entertain yourself, learn to love yourself for who you are and how you look, and lower your standards of cleanliness for your house if you have to. Because you never know what can happen to you.

Good advice! Of course, when you get to that point, frugality is so engrained it would be painful for me to hire a housecleaner! You are right though. It's important to be nice to your future self. I've always worried about job stability and that was always my main motivation to save money. I'm happy we never upgraded our house either. I hit my breaking point a few months ago and left my stressful life to stay home with my kid. I was in a tech field, so I'm not sure I'll ever be able to jump back in even if I wanted to. I'm glad my DH and I saved money when we were DINKs. If we didn't, we wouldn't have any options. I think that is a scary propositon.

[flowerseverywhere]

all wonderful points. Molly, when DH got sick I felt so lucky that we had my job to keep us afloat. We had been frugal most of our lives, thank goodness, and worried first about our own well being as opposed to worrying about the kids college expenses. Luckily, when he got better we were able to substantially help the kids but if we had worried about them first, we may have been homeless. And we had good medical coverage. The gas to appointments, parking fees and loss of income was substantial, as I had to take leave without pay. I have a BIL out of work right now who has a stay at home wife and he just cannot find a job. She has let her skills become very rusty and they are looking at working minimum wage jobs with college degrees. Times are very tough right now for some very good, hard working people who thought they were doing everything right.

The only thing I will caution on is relying on any government. In some states, pensions and health care people thought they had covered have been attacked and people will not get nearly as much as they thought. Social security is under fire for even the middle class. The affordable health care act is just that, not free care. Medicare is very expensive. It is basically an 80/20 policy with a lot of exclusions.

so my point is do everything you can to secure your own financial security. If you expect the "Goverment" is going to get their act together anytime soon you will be a sorry person indeed. All these unfunded wars and debt ceiling raises will be paid for somehow, most likely the middle class. Medicaid for the poor is no picnic either, getting quality medical care is very difficult.

Molly, I wish you the best and hope the hard lessons you learned will spur others on to eliminate debt and increase their savings.

[flowerseverywhere]

wanted to add like you, DH was in good health when he slipped on the ice and badly hurt himself. When he was recovering he was dx. with cancer. He was one of the lucky ones who is really doing well and was able to return to work and finish his career. Anything can happen

[HumboldtGurl]

Molly, I'm so sorry about what happened and hope that you find good health again soon. Thank you for thinking of others at a time like this, your advice is excellent.

[Gardenarian]

I have recently had a series of health and home financial crises and can only agree - don't count those chickens!

[Molly]

Rosarugosa - I'm with you. I took about half my vacation days for cleaning projects. I actually found them to be a spiritual exercise - got a lot of thinking done while cleaning.

CJones - Yes, that was me doing the 12 month, no new clothing challenge.

Like you with your sister, I couldn't tell the difference in my co-worker either after she had those cosmetic procedures done. She was attractive to begin with and looked the same afterwards. Ironically, it seems to be the attractive women who end up having cosmetic surgery. Go figure.

[cjones]

Well let me tell you, Molly, you did a lot of good for me with that clothing challenge. I didn't follow it as long as I should have, but it saved me a ton of money for the time I participated. And it's given me the inspiration to re-commit to the principal of very modest clothing expenditures. I hope you'll stay connected to the Forums when possible and I wish you the very best for a full recovery.

[Spartana]

My warning is that even with the best plans, life can throw you something unexpected and turn your life upside down.



Molly, I'm so sorry to hear about your injury and medical insurance woes. I'll not rant here about the state of our healthcare insurance in this country but it boils my blood that middle class people who have worked all their lives and paid into healthcare insurance have to become totally destitute in order to have medical coverage if they have a pre-existing condition or even a new condition or injury. That they are denied coverage or required to pay exorbitant premiums and co-pays, or just dropped all together from their plans and no where to get new coverage. Having to become completely impoverished first so they can apply for medicaid (which is constantly being cut). Ticks me off to no end!

However, getting injured or sick later in life was probably one of the main reasons I "took the chance" of retireing early (at 42). There were many physical things I wanted to do and I knew that there was the possibility that some injury or illness - or just plain getting older - would take away the opportunity to do those things if I waited. I have heard of so many people waiting to retire late in life - people who hold off on doing many things they have dreamed of doing - only to become ill or die shortly after retirement because they waited too long. Or not able to do things because of age. So while I I realize I am taking a chance, I think it's worth it. I've been able to do many things I've dreamed of since quitting work, so if illness, injury or old age messes up my life, well ... I'm OK with it now. Probably wouldn't be if I had waited until I was older to leave work. But I do have medical coverage thru the VA (plus I buy an emergency plan) but I know that it could always suffer budget cuts and I may not always have it. But I've been willing to take that chance - and feel it has been worth it.

[Wildflower]

I hear you, Molly! We had the bottom fall out for us in our early 50's when DH and I were forced into early retirement due to health problems and bankruptcy of DH's company. We had done everything right financially and had no debt, but were still hard hit by medical bills and a vastly reduced pension. We are surviving, but it's not the retirement we had envisioned.... Our frugal ways have made it doable though and life is still good. We can't do the things we had planned on, neither physically or financially, but we have time now to enjoy each other, our family, our critters, and smell the roses, so to speak. Priceless. :)

I hope you feel better soon. I know how hard it is living with chronic pain and disease....

[Aqua Blue]

I hear you, Molly! We had the bottom fall out for us in our early 50's when DH and I were forced into early retirement due to health problems and bankruptcy of DH's company. We had done everything right financially and had no debt, but were still hard hit by medical bills and a vastly reduced pension. We are surviving, but it's not the retirement we had envisioned.... Our frugal ways have made it doable though and life is still good. We can't do the things we had planned on, neither physically or financially, but we have time now to enjoy each other, our family, our critters, and smell the roses, so to speak. Priceless. :)

I hope you feel better soon. I know how hard it is living with chronic pain and disease....

Similar story here. One never knows what lies a head. I have become a lot less judgemental of others.

[flowerseverywhere]

As Aquablue and Wildflower have stated, you never know what will happen. One day you can be at the top of the world and the next you can fall down a flight of stairs just losing your footing (happened to a friend of mine) and be unable to work and have to face multiple surgeries and long rehab.

Simple living, debt management, learning to make do with less and enjoying the simple things in life goes a long way to helping cope with lifes ups and especially downs that happen to the best of us.

[Molly]

Spartana - Glad you are getting to do the things you want when you are able. I am so glad I took horseback riding lessons when I did at age 55. Within a year I started developing arthritis and back problems and had to quit. But I am so glad I didn't wait until retirement, because I never would have been able to ride due to my orthopedic issues.

As far as health care coverage, I am having cataract surgery this week and the doctor gave me three prescription eye drops to start on before surgery. When I went to pick up the prescriptions, I found my co-pay was $250.00!!! I called the doctor's office and asked them to prescribe something else, but they gave me samples, so it was free. They told me some people have $500.00 co-pays. Some patients call to cancel the surgery because they cannot afford the prescriptions.

I am outraged too, because most of the people in my pre-op grounp are old and frail (I am by far the youngest at 58). However, we are all on fixed incomes. Unless you squawk about the prices, you end up paying a bundle. Those who are too timid to speak up, lose. It just isn't right.

[awakenedsoul]

Hi Molly,

Thank you for this post. Good advice. I wanted to add, just because a doctor says you need surgery, (or a hip replacement,) doesn't mean that you have to do it. I have studied healing for the past 27 years, and am amazed at how often surgery and medication are prescribed when there are other options. I have had doctors tell me that I need surgery and I've just said that I don't want it. I'm not in your situation, and I don't mean to give you advice, it's just that as a yoga teacher I see this all the time. Sometimes there are other solutions that are free. There's a book called The Permanent Pain Cure that has really helped me. I thought I was developing arthritis, but have managed the the symptoms through the PT exercises in this book, the anti inflammitory diet he explains, and through hydration and taking cod liver oil. I hope you find some alternatives that are affordable and healing for you...An eye doctor told me I had a scarred retina, and needed surgery, and my eye healed in time. A dentist told me I needed to redo all of my crowns, (and get implants,) and I instead use the Zellies system for preventive care.
I love how you paid yourself to clean you house! My dad used to pay my mom $3,000. a month for all the work she did with four kids! That was way back in the 80's, too.

[cjones]

Agree about not having to rush to the most expensive and invasive solutions---have had this experience over and over again in my life--"Get a hysterectomy!!" Two months later, problem disappeared.....this is NOT to say that Molly's issues have simple, easy solutions. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.