View Full Version : Mid Life Crisis
Mid Life Crisis.
Do you think this really occurs? Have you seen it with your loved one or experienced it yourself? Do you think it happens because one day a light goes off that the hill of life is now on the down side, so to say? Does it bring a permeant change to the person or just a temp event and the person returns to how they always have done life?
Yes I think it occurs and for that reason. I am still working on my change of how I deal with life, what I will do and who I will be for the next 1/2 of life. I know I am looking for a change of daily activities, the way I deal with issues compared to what and how I did things for the last 1/2. Nothing radical, but I know I am feeling this. I also know I am who I am and old habits die hard, I do not live on the edge and never will. But I am transforming into an adult with different goals on the next phase of life. Now husband and entire different story. He is on his third MLC, I can pinpoint each one. 33,44 and now 50... Oh goodness.
I have never understood the midlife crisis issue. At each stage, which lasted about a decade, of my life, I was doing something that I really wanted to do so had no sense of loss or fear or stress except maybe of demands or failure of that challenge.
I don't celebrate birthdays. That fact alone has seemingly has spared me untold anguish according to many accounts of MLC. Birthdays are simply trips around the sun, nothing more. Giving that power over one's mental, emotional and physical wellbeing seems rather irrational to me.
goldensmom
5-28-12, 9:56am
I've seen it happen with some people but I cruised through mid-life without it, no time to even think about it. There might be an upside and a downside of life but I feel like I'm still on the upside although I should be feeling the downside by now. I don't sit and consider life I just do it, day after day after day.
ApatheticNoMore
5-28-12, 11:49am
I don't know if I really believe in this or if so I seem to have one towards the middle or end of every adult decade. 20's check. 30's yes maybe now.
SteveinMN
5-28-12, 12:45pm
Hitting 25 was a big deal for me as I was nowhere near what (or where) I wanted to be in my life. And so I took some risks and made some changes. Turns out those weren't the only changes I would make. But that was much more of a MLC for me than the stereotypical late-40s/early-50s trophy-wife-and-sports-car MLC.
I think everyone finds a specific point in time for some midlife change. It could be undertaking a strenuous physical activity you enjoyed as a young adult that now hurts too much to be exhilirating. It could be some deja vu around walking into the same office for the umpteenth time to work at a job you no longer (or didn't ever) enjoy. It could be the marriage of a son or daughter or birth of a grandchild. All of these can make us very aware of how quickly life passes and how, if you're on "autopilot", you could miss a lot. Some people take that as the catalyst for entirely too much change and become someone else that doesn't fit them (trophy wife and sports car). Others follow Agnes De Mille's advice: “No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently.” I like Agnes De Mille. ;)
I believe, and have experienced, every major life transition as a powerful time of self-reflection and decisions about who I wanted to be, and how I want to live out my core values. I trust these will continue till I die.
There have been some transition moments that were shocking; when I had wandered far from my core values, and essentially woke up to the need for a radical course-correction. Not an outward crisis, rather an inner one, but remediable by only myself and my thinking. Not in response to how I "should" be living my life, but how I wanted to.
My belief about the stereotype mid-life crisis is that it's driven my the dissonance one experiences between one's perception about how one should be living one's life, especially if the "shoulds" are externally defined - and what's actually happening. For instance, before I understood that I am the author of my life & I get to decide how to live it, I assumed I'd hit the usual milestones dictated by my age, gender, race, & class. These generally are: married to a male by X age, children by X time, career by X age, home ownership by age X, blah blah blah... Essentially my parents' lives. Except that my Mom was miserable and felt trapped; I suspect my Dad did too.
Luckily, feminism came along and I realized that none of those externally promulgated middle class shoulds for a woman my age were required, they were choices. Feminism saved my life, or I would have followed the "shoulds", and hit the milestones as dictated, and been miserable. My feminist awakening came at age 20, so I ditched the expectations of marriage & children early on, and they have proved to be the absolutely right choices for me. I believe that gender assigned roles are oppressive to both genders.
I encourage anyone having a crisis to see it as an opportunity to wake up to one's true inner life & nature. Personally, I love these moments.
domestic goddess
5-28-12, 5:28pm
I don't get the "midlife crisis" thing, either. Like razz, I don't celebrate my birthdays, maybe that has something to do with it?
I did read a book by Richard Rohr, Falling Upwards, about spirituality in the two halves of life, how it changes and the differences in each stage. Maybe this carries over into all of life. At one point we find that the ways we have coped with things in the past don't work as well for us, or the pasttimes we once enjoyed seem stale, and we seek a more mature coping strategy or a fresh pasttime. I know that I recycle my hobbies periodically, as I want something fresh after awhile. I am finding that some of my coping mechanisms just aren't doing what I want them to do, so I am looking to replace at least some of them, especially as I contemplate the death of my remaining parent. I'm happy with what I've chose as my life's work, but not too happy with my current employer, so that is a change I need to make. For someone like me, who finds change difficult, this is definitely going to be a challenge.
Few of my friends or family seem to have suffered a midlife crisis, and those who have don't seem to have made any permanent changes. A few purchased sports cars, but I can't think of anything really life-altering, as far as I can tell. Inner changes may have occurred,but they are apparently not in areas where I would see them.
DH is going through the midlife crisis right now, at 40, and it is pretty awful.
He lost a lot of weight by being obsessed with fitness and barely eating. There have been sailing lessons and welding classes. There is also a lot of staring into space and lamenting not having "done more" with his life, but not a lot of action toward change. I am a bad person for wanting to settle down, buy a house, raise our family, and do other completely normal and boring things.
Honestly, if he suggested any concrete life-changing idea, however far out there, like "let's quit our jobs and start a bird sanctuary on a remote island," I would probably support it. But there's just a vague sense of mourning the mundane middle-classedness of our existence. I really wish he would just go out and buy a sports car.
I do and don't believe in the theory of having a mid life crisis. On one hand, I have often had the intense feeling of "what if I had". I think that's kind of where it starts. "What if I had" is very different than "What if." One denotes regret and the other invokes a sense possibility. The trick when I feel that way is to drop the "had" in the way I'm looking at things.
That being said, I often think what someone is calling a mid life crisis is an excuse for something else. Someone sees something more alluring and goes for it and a mid life crisis is an ever so much more polite term for checking out of your relationships with those closest to you or having an affair. One often finds that the sports car was never the real prize. It was just purchased as a get-a-way car.
I think that alot of mid-life crisises happen because people follow a path in life that is often expected of them: go to college, get a 9 to 5 job, get married, have 2.5 kids and a dog named Spot, buy a house in the 'burbs, install white picket fence, wait to retire, die. So I think what happens is that one day they realize that "Holy Crap I'm 40 and have never been anywhere or done anything and this is how it'll be for the next 40 years until I die." They wanna go to Fuji. They want a sailboat or a sports car or...well, just a life that is different from what they've always done - and will probably die doing. In short, they want an adventure. Something exciting, something different from the same-old, same-old until death. I've found that many people who wait to do those traditional things like work a professional job, marry, have kids, buy a house, etc... and have a few adventures while young, often have sown enough wild oats to really want and appreciate a more traditional life when they are older. Because those people aren't "settling down" until they are already near mid-life (30's and 40's) they rarely, if ever, go thru a mid-life crisis.
And even those people who never have a mid-life crisis may have thought that they wanted more - or different - and just muddled thru life unfulfilled in many ways.
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."Henry David Thoreau
I believe that gender assigned roles are oppressive to both genders.
SO TRUE! I am a human being and want the opportunity to be able to enjoy ALL of the human experiences out there, not just 50% of them.
The closest I've come to one was when I turned 30, but my focus was more on the things I'll never be. When you are young, people tell you that you can be anything you want. And then there gets to be a point in your life, when you realize that who you really are, excludes a lot of things you'll never be. It was at this point that I finally got on the YMOYL bandwagon, and decluttered my life of those aspirational things I bought. Like, I'm never going to be that person who has a ****tail party for 20, so I don't need all the accountrement for ****tail parties.
Happy with who I am, but it took me a while to grieve on all I would never be.
I think mid life crises are real. I've had two so far, although to be fair, one was a mid-life crisis and the other was a crisis averted.
The first was in my early 40's, when I realized that with my daughter leaving home, I could step outside the role I'd been playing all her life, that of father. That's when my wife and I started doing Europe every 1.5 years and bought the sports cars, a Miata for her and a BMW convertible for me.
The second was when I was approaching 50 and realized that I didn't want to do the intense corporate thing anymore. No longer wanted the two seater automobiles, with two grandkids by that time, where do you put them? I realized it was time to take a sensible approach to the last stage of my professional life and make it more enjoyable, so, I left the job of 27 years and took another with none of the stress, two thirds the hours and about three fourths the pay. My wife retired at 45, which greatly improved the quality of our lives. We stopped planning elaborate trips and began simply exploring wherever the wind blew us.
I truly believe the second was a crisis averted, and we've never been happier.
Small changes, that perhaps are more of a who I want to be vs who I think I had to be the last 50 years. So I do not consider them a Crisis so to say, but a choice. I am so far happy with me, probably better then any other time in my life.
My husband on the other hand has had three, first was a new Corvette at 33(kept it two years), 44 was "I am retiring from corporate life" that lasted 15 months.....this one that got me thinking and had me post the original post is a whopper imo. Ok I read about the car and the affair on one of the posts, this is the Car. The Car of a Life Time he says. It is being delivered this afternoon. I told him the plate should say "3MLC", since this is his third.
ps we are not on the same page of simple living:|(
And sometimes an apparent mid-life crisis isn't a mid-life crisis at all - just the implementation of a plan. Many people (most people accually) that I know thought I was having a mid-life crisis when I suddenly (to them) quite my job at age 42 with no plans to go back to work for at least 5 years. I was newly seperated and going thru a divorce after a long term marriage and they felt this was the classic mid-life crisis scenerio. But it wasn't. During the last 5 years of our marriage, DH and I had been making plans to take off work when we were in our late 30's (when he retired from the coast guard) and take about 5 years to travel and sail around the world before settling down and going back to work at civilian jobs. We had bought and fixed up the sailboat, and basicly had everything set to go. However, after postponing it for several years so he could stay in the CG longer, he decided he no longer wanted to do that and wanted to stay in the CG MUCH longer, being at sea a lot, transferring to many different places (and that guy is STILL in). UGH, not the life for me! So we ended up getting a divorce and I decided to go ahead with my plans to (eventually) quit my job while young to travel. So to other's it looked like a mid-life crisis, but to me it was just making a long held dream happen.
I think I had a version of a mid-life crisis and that it was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I had big, yet fairly vague, dreams as a young adult and through my twenties and thirties, I seemed to be able to convince myself those dreams would still "come true," though there was little evidence that I was making much concrete progress towards achieving them. Also, I was never quite sure whether I wanted to get married or have children, so spent most of those two decades in romantic relationships I wasn't committed to (even when the other person was).
As 40 started to approach, I looked around and realized the life I was living was not really the life I wanted, and it finally occurred to me that I needed to start making some decisions about what I wanted my future to look like and to work very hard towards that desired future. I realized I wanted to be in a long-term partnership and got out of a relationship with someone who always said he wasn't sure if he wanted commitment, met a new guy who loves (most days!) having a partner, and had a child with him. Over those same years, I recommitted myself to my writing and got several pieces published in literary magazines, tracked my earning and spending so that I could live below my means, save money for a house, and for retirement, and bought a house where I now live with my SO, his kids, and my kid.
My life isn't perfect, of course, and I still have other dreams I am working towards, but it wasn't until this period of my life where I realized how brief our time here on earth is, and that really woke me up, and got me to make some choices which have turned out to challenge me in really positive ways.
I should also mention that so many times in my life, I'd go through periods of freaking out, thinking, "I'm 26 (or 30, 34, 36, whatever), and I haven't done x, y, or z yet" and some friend or other would say, "You're young! There's time!" That was true, but around when I hit 40, I also met a meditation teacher who said, "You know what? Life is short. Figure out what's important to you and don't waste time" and that was such a great gift.
I've not had one. DH went out and bought his dream car when he turned 50, an older Mercedes SL, but that was pretty tame. He asked if I'd rather he get a 25 year old girlfriend in place of the car and I assured him that I did not!
Every 5 - 7 years I get bored with my current garden scheme and I swap it out for something something "different" (to me!) but in the end I am always growing ornamentals. Lilies and iris have held my attention longer than anything else, and this year I'm moving into my third crop, dahlias, so I imagine that I'll be fussing with dahlias for some years.
Tussiemussies
5-29-12, 10:07pm
Hitting 50 has been a big deal for me. No other age bothered me but. I realized that I'm moving forward toward an aging body. Also some unfinished business from my past and healing it has been a big thing for me. Making amends with people where things had been just let go. I still don't know how I am viewing my future but know I better get in shape so I can still do a lot as I go on...: )
ejchase, that is a great thought about life is short. I find myself thinking that a lot lately. Many times now I say to myself, What did spending all that time/money/worry/thoughts on X get me in life. Usually in the end after time passes nothing in the big picture.
Somethings I thought I wanted to change from the last stage of life I realize I do not want to change. Dogs, my life revolved around my many dogs for 25 years. Going in stages, no problem dogs to way to much care dogs. When I had my two senior Chihuahuas who required lots of care put down at Christmas, I said no more dogs. I was going to be free of the tie downs. I had my one big mix Retriever, that is great and needs little extra care. I found my life was not complete without a house full of barking/playing/kisses/grooming and such. Now I have three again and guess it is the way my life is suppose to be.
\
I did read a book by Richard Rohr, Falling Upwards, about spirituality in the two halves of life, how it changes and the differences in each stage.
Awesome book.
I think mine is ongoing in that I started questioning everything about the conventional consumptive life 15 years ago. I still struggle some with the value of ambition but as old age draws near, adventures sound a whole lot more meaningful. I now understand the motives behind all the folks traveling in RVs. I am just about there...
ApatheticNoMore
5-30-12, 11:58am
If the crisis turns toward depression (yea, been there - only depression really gets my attention) that's really not necessarily going to produce a lot of changes at all. I mean ok it may force mental RE-EVALUATION (in the ruminating afterall - you do plenty of that while depressed), but the energy to make change won't be there, as depression by nature tends toward "why bother" and withdrawal, and un-involvement.
Also just because you want something to change doesn't mean you have a clue in heck how to do it. Ok so you quit your job as you are sick and tired of it. Then what? Sitting at home doing nothing for awhile. Ok. Travel for awhile maybe ok. Such periods can really be beneficial, I'm not knocking it, but then what? Probably (almost inevitably): get another job like the last one :D. And it tends to be this way for a lot of things. If you finally have money for the sports car though - buy it :)
I'm not sure it's a mid-life crisis, but my mother's death felt like a turning point of sorts. My weight was creeping up in spite of our not owning a car, (both of my parents had been obese), so I started running more. My mother's death was very difficult and painful. I had arrived after she was fairly delirious. I can't say that I'm afraid of dying, but I at least want to die well, and so I've become more concerned about my health.
Also, with our daughter heading into middle school -- a charter school far from our house -- we gave up on being a car-free family, (just shy of eight years without a car as a family with two children. I think we made the point that you can live without a car with children). We bought a Subaru Outback.
Then, since I dumped almost all the money I inherited into the mortgage, and the rest into an emergency fund, I thought I should really get myself something, so I bought a Vespa GTV300. The Vespa is a little mid-lifey, though I did spend most of my adult life on motorcycles of one kind or another. It is a lot cheaper to run the kids around on their individual errands and activities on a scooter than in the Subaru.
Anyway -- if a scooter and running every morning constitute a mid-life crisis, then I'm having one at 46. But I'd say it has more to do with finding myself suddenly the older generation, with both my parents gone, than it does with my age.
(Edited to add: we're on schedule now to pay off our house in June of 2015. I thought I could relax my tightwad tendencies just a little bit. Hopefully, if my Mom's house sells, we'll cut another year or two off the mortgage.)
I'm a lot like red fox in that i do a lot with self-evaluating at regular intervals, and like razz in that I don't really "celebrate" my birthday per se. I find that it's nice to have cake, and leave it at that.
well, truly, any excuse to have cake. ;)
And so, there were several times when it seemed that i felt spurred into considering my life and making appropriate changes.
the first was in 2002. I was 26 yrs old and DH and I had gotten married. Not feeling ready for children -- in fact, no where near ready -- we had an accidental pregnancy and miscarriage. this really spurred me to contemplate what I wanted for my life. We discussed that we did want children, and what we wanted to get in place before we had children. I didn't want to be a middle-class mother as I saw all around me (women my age and older) -- as the life didn't look appealing. So, i started researching how I wanted to live and parent and so on.
after 5 years, we were 'ready' -- though not all of our goals were met, most of them were. And most notably, how I wanted to be as a parent has come to pass, which is great. And, we really learned to live very well within our means.
When I turned 30 (2006), I was really excited. A lot had happened in my 20s, and I could only see my 30s being better, because after the miscarriage, I knew that in order for me to achieve what I wanted, I had to actually do certain things to make that possible.
The second big one for me was having DS. My husband and I both realized that if we didn't get out of our comfort zone (security), we weren't going to really live authentically in our lives. Somehow, we started to pull on a few threads and figured out how to move to NZ. This has been really great. Hard at times, but really great!
DH turned 40 last week. I think he's feeling some anxiety about not being as accomplished in his career as he would like. There are lots of reasons for this -- both within his control and out of his control -- and since I don't really think about time n those ways, I don't really get why he's fussed, but then again, i'm doing exactly what i want to do for a living, in action, daily, and he isn't. So, there's that.
I don't think it's a crisis, per se, but there's a lot more anxiety then normal right now for him.
Well as I watch my husband and his new toy car leave to go for a drive last night, I can see he is for the moment very happy with his purchase. I still don't get it to be honest. It seems like a very one sided perchase, nope I have not even opened the door. Not mad, just not my cup of to so to say. Funny how a material thing holds such attraction for some. Must because as the truck and trailer pulled up from the dealership to drop the car off, a couple nieghbor men came over to see the toy and gush over it.
Can't you just share his pleasure with him? I don't see the problem, personally.
iris lily
5-31-12, 11:51am
Well as I watch my husband and his new toy car leave to go for a drive last night, I can see he is for the moment very happy with his purchase. I still don't get it to be honest. It seems like a very one sided perchase, nope I have not even opened the door. Not mad, just not my cup of to so to say. Funny how a material thing holds such attraction for some. Must because as the truck and trailer pulled up from the dealership to drop the car off, a couple nieghbor men came over to see the toy and gush over it.
OMG a new car! A sports car! Tell me again, what kind is it???!!!!
DH and I, we've learned to NEVER go car shopping together because we will talk each other into a car.
I perhaps would be hit with the frugal wet noodle if I said what it was :confused:
Well, I'm 51 and have been toying with a convertible for a few years. Mostly because I love to feel the wind and DW isn't crazy about motorcycles so this seems like the next most logical step. I don't think its really because of a MLC. Heck, mid-life is still 10 years away. I do plan to celebrate my 120th birthday doncha' know!
Maybe what looks to critics like a "crisis" is actually a course correction. Few of us chart our life's direction so perfectly that we never need to modify it. And detouring just for fun seems eminently reasonable to me.
I perhaps would be hit with the frugal wet noodle if I said what it was :confused:
No, simple living is about putting your money into the things you value.
If it is one of the cars on my Fab list I will be jealous. Now you had better tell. I won't be jealous if it is an American muscle car, though, those just aren't my bag.
No, simple living is about putting your money into the things you value.
...
Really, this can't be said often enough. It's not about wearing a hair shirt.
I'm not that fond of cars, and now even I want to know what it is.
About the only cars out there that catch my eye are the Mini Coopers.
I don't feel the least impelled to buy one though. A scooter is enough for me.
Yes, do tell! His car, no reflection on you anyway. And sharing in his pleasure and enjoyment sounds like something quite lovely to aspire to.
Re: the original question...I had a shift in direction that began in the year that both of my parents died. Like pcooley, I guess, it brought me to a realization that this was my life, my one and only, and if I wanted to get something out of it I better start paying attention. That was the start of a long road of changes that I have only recently completed. I feel like I am in a settled place at the moment but I was in a pretty fluid state for quite a long time.
No cool cars, though. No younger men. But a bunch of major and minor life changes.
So....let's hear it! What kind of car????
yeah, if you can afford a pleasurable thing that you want, why not have it?
DH and I lust for our old pruis. It seems silly, but our 2007 prius was a dream for us. we loved that car. I would love to have it again. Seriously. but the 2007 used prius in NZ costs $30,000. No joke. LOL Can't afford it right now. :D
but hey, if $30,000 landed in my lap and all else was covered, it might go to a prius. :D
Maybe what looks to critics like a "crisis" is actually a course correction. Few of us chart our life's direction so perfectly that we never need to modify it. And detouring just for fun seems eminently reasonable to me.
+1.
When I quit my corporate job and went back to school for a totally different field, a lot of people thought I was having a mid-life crisis. Also when I left my marriage to an emotionally abusive man and moved to the city where I was going to school. And when I sold my house recently, instead of moving back to my old city after graduation, they thought the same thing. After all, I was middle-aged - I should be doing the "safe" thing. But my old career, city, and life weren't right for me in so many ways. And really, there is no safety anywhere.
My mother dying was the impetus to my going back to school, to be in the field I'd really wanted to be in all my life. The rest of the changes stemmed from that. And even though my life is less certain now - I certainly don't know where I'll be in two years after grad school, or exactly what I'll be doing - I'm much happier and at peace. I feel like I'm actually living my life, and making the best of the precious time I have.
I think I'm in one.
I really want to shake things up and change everything about our lives - move - new careers - etc.
I just feel like I can't do another 20 years of what we've been doing the past 20 years.
Bunch of great responses. It was nice reading how others handle or did not have a MLC. Sometime after 30+ years together I suppose we do need seperate things. I am working at coming to peace with it.
The item is a Lamborghini.
I can safely say I have nothing in common with someone who'd purchase a Lamborghini, lovely though they are, but if it makes him feel respected, and if it's not your (joint) money he's spending, if your house is paid for, if he paid cash for it or otherwise made damned sure you're never going to be saddled with the payments if he dies....well, who cares? It's a gorgeous automobile and if that's his thing, well, that's his thing. Maybe it'll make him happy forever just to have it, as proof of what hard work can buy?
Me, I'm with you: I prefer the dogs, ctg ;) That's my kind of happiness.
You know that is what it is, hard work bought that for him.
really, there is no safety anywhere.
Ain't that the truth! Better to be doing what one values than to be doing the "expected" thing for however long it may last.
woosh! gorgeous engines those machines. :) I don't know a lot about engines, but I do like how different ones sound.
my friend just wrote a blog post about such a sports car in her neighborhood and how 'that money could have fed X orphans!' but she also couched it in the fact that she, too, has way more money than she needs, buys things that she doesn't need or necessarily even use, and that she really shouldn't judge. it lead to an interesting conversation, really.
because for me, the question wasn't really about the object, but the concept of casting aspersions. if someone wins an oscar, does anyone say that s/he doesn't "deserve" it or that "that oscar could have fed several thousand orphans?" no. it's a trophy. and people value that weird little trophy. Winning an oscar is a-ok, but working hard, having the money to purchase a fancy car is not a-ok.
And then i turned an eye toward her. And she said she really did feel sheepish. Her family of 4 lives in a big-ass house in Tx. It uses a lot of power -- ac, heating, lighting, electronics, etc etc etc. She couldn't imagine living on as little per month as we do -- and we do not consider ourselves at all poor or needy. she also produces at least 5x the trash that we do -- something that I pointed out as being far more intense to me than whether or not she owned a big house.
we discussed how reactions to fancy cars and the like are the perfect opportunity to ask ourselves what we see about ourselves in it. When I see a fancy car, I think "gorgeous." And that's about as far as it goes. Why? because it is a beautiful piece of engineering and industrial design. It is, truly, a beautiful object. It's no more or less beautiful than the hand-thrown plates and bowls that my friend is making for me, but of course, on a totally different *scale* in terms of cost. that is the only difference. But i don't consider that material to the experience of it.
So, for example, I can look at my friend's home and see 'what a waste' (which is what i see), and it is my reminder of my own discomfort of how I live. I feel that I am creating *way* too much waste because I have been unable to make forward progress in areas of my life where I want to reduce our waste: 1. composting; 2. more refusing of packaging; 3. i'd love to get into humanure vermiculture because this doesn't waste so much water; 4. rain water collection; 5. getting off-grid; 6 actually succeeding at growing food, herbs whatever! something! LOL
We discussed how when i look at her place, i just see where I am. And so it may be that when she sees that sports car, she sees her wastefulness, her big car -- is it really necessary? And in reflection, she points out how stupidly happy we are to have *one* honda station wagon circa 1994 when she and her husband have 1 SUV circa 2009 and 1 minivan circa 2010.
In the end, our reactions to things are only our reactions to ourselves -- to those areas of disconnect in our own lives.
So, your husband has a lamborghini. Gorgeous! I bet it has the most wonderful feel in the drive, and the most wonderful engine sound, and I hope he is proud of it and loves it and feels good that he has accomplished so much as to be able to afford it! It's a lot to be proud of!
...The item is a Lamborghini.
Yes that IS one of those "ultimate cars" so good for him!
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