Miss Cellane.

[Mrs-M]

There's something I've been wanting to ask you related to your childhood, and all the travel and moving around you did. I remember there were kids in Elementary School, and how they would start school with all of us (September), then part way through the school year, sometimes end of the year, they were gone, forever, never to be seen or heard from again...

Even now, after all these years, there's a sadness that comes about whenever I think about it, wondering if they ever got to settle down in one place long enough to meet friends, and build close relationships with others.

How about you? Was it difficult always moving around, never settling in at one address long enough to tap your roots and establish yourself? Never being in one place long enough to establish close friendships/relationships with people?

[Mrs-M]

To add, anyone else who lived similar lives/had similar upbringings, please feel-free to weigh-in and share your story (if you wish).

[CeciliaW]

I'm not Miss Cellane, but I can relate. I was an Air Force brat, so we moved a lot.

You know I thought that was normal. It wasn't until I married in my 20's and met women who'd never left the county they were born in that I realized that my life had been unusual.

I would like to think that it made me adaptable and curious.
Another thing was that HOME was wherever we all gathered, not a specific spot.

I think it's just another way of looking at things.

[IshbelRobertson]

My Dad was a career soldier in the British Army. We travelled around the globe (when we still had an 'empire'!) - from Singapore to Cyprus to other points around the world. I was sent home to boarding school at senior school age, and flew out to where my parents lived during school holidays.

I then married someone who also worked in a globe-trotting industry. My children were not moved around quite so much as we were, but they lived in various cultures.

I like to think that our travels and experiences enriched our lives.

[catherine]

I then married someone who also worked in a globe-trotting industry. My children were not moved around quite so much as we were, but they lived in various cultures.

I like to think that our travels and experiences enriched our lives.

I'm sure they did.

I remember when I first moved to the town I'm in now, there was a woman who I remember the first time I spotted her. I had walked my son to school, and she marched past with cupcakes or something like that in hand.

She was so in charge I admired her. As a newcomer, I felt like she was a bit above me in her standing in the neighborhood. She later told me that this was about the 4th town she had lived in within about just as many years--her husband was with UPS or FedEx or something... and her father had also had a job in which they moved frequently.

So, she said she learned to adapt by just "owning" the neighborhood she was in at the time. She had no time to be shy--she just barged in. Her kids (quite young at that point) were also very popular and friendly and well-adjusted.

I really admired her.

[Mrs-M]

CeciliaW. I believe I'm at a disadvantage Re:, i.e. understanding, seeing that I have never had to pull-up my roots. Of course it's hard to say how well (or poorly) I would have responded to such disruption, but I just know my nature, and closeness and solidness and stability, I need. I think I would have been affected adversely by such frequent re-plantings.

IshbelRobertson. I like to think travel, matched with few ties, expands ones visions and enriches their lives, but I wonder if it also (for some) detracts from their lives also... I'm partial to seeing children graced with stability, as in placement, no disruption.

Catherine. I envy people who can move around and pick-up where they left-off with little to no ill-effects. It's definitely not for everyone. I have mixed feelings over it. One part of me says, "how sad", while the other part of me says, "what an interesting life". I don't know...

[domestic goddess]

I've never moved much, but my dad did. His family never had much money and, especially during the Depression, they moved wherever his father could find work. I think my dad was in 13 different schools in his elementary-high school years. Consequently, once he and my mother were married and they moved into their "starter" home one moth after I was born, moving was never even considered. He turned down job promotions rather than move. Needless to say, I daydreamed often about moving, to another house if not to another city. Never happened. My mom still owns the house they bought, and my brother now lives in it.

[Mrs-M]

I can totally see that, Domestic Goddess. I'm 99.99% sure I'd be the exact same.

[Miss Cellane]

Mrs. M, that's an interesting question.

Here's the statistics. Between the time I was born and the time Dad retired from the military when I was 16, I moved 11 times. I was in 9 different schools from kindergarten to 12th grade. I lived in 11 different homes, from quonset huts to apartments to huge Victorian monstrosities. I lived in three different countries, the US, Germany and South Korea. I lived in 6 different states. i

Like any other kind of life, there are good things and bad things.

One good thing was that both my parents came from the same city and most of my relatives still lived/are living there. So every time my dad could take vacation, we went back there. We stayed with Dad's parents, because they still had the big house from raising 6 kids. All us kids would spend a few days with Mom's parents, with Uncle Sam and Aunt Betty, in rotation, to take the burden off Dad's folks. The result of that is that I do feel that I have roots in that city. I am also very good friends with the cousins my age, because I spent time with them every summer. This was not the case with some military kids I knew, who barely knew their grandparents and other relatives.

I am both shy and introverted, which was probably not the best combination for someone who was constantly switching schools. My brothers are far more extroverted and did better. I would usually make one or two friends, but in a year or two, we'd move away. Making friends was easier when I attended the schools on base, because all the kids were in the same boat. But sometimes we had to go to normal civilian schools and as I got older, it was harder, but not impossible, to make friends, because everyone knew everyone else and the cliques were formed and they didn't want to let anyone new in.

I really don't have any friends from elementary or high school. I do still keep in contact with friends from college though, because I was at one college for all 4 years! I think it is easier to keep in touch with people now that we have email and all this social media. Back then, I'd send letters to my old friends, but at some point we'd move and they'd move and the mail wouldn't get forwarded and we'd lose touch.

But as a result of all the moving, my siblings and I formed pretty close bonds, because sometimes we only had each other to play with. So that's another plus.

And I do think being exposed to other cultures is a huge benefit. You realize that the way you do things is not the only right way. You get to see just how good we have it in the US. In South Korea, nearly all the military personal had maids and usually a house man (their salaries were good by their standards, very low by ours). Our maid asked for our moving boxes to make a floor in her house. That's a powerful lesson to learn when you are 8 years old--some people have to live with dirt floors; cardboard is an upgrade.

Another thing is that I've never been able to bring myself to buy a house or condo. I tend to move every 4-5 years. I think I just like the adventure, even if it is just to the next town over. I like learning a new city and finding out what it has to offer.

On the other hand, some of my brothers have settled down and not moved for decades.

Now that we are all in our 40s and 50s, several of us have settled near the city where Mom and Dad grew up--4 of the 7 of us kids. One brother moved to the West Coast and is living very near his wife's family. Another brother moved about 400 miles away and is living very near his wife's family. And one brother is in the military and has spent only 7 of the last 30 years in the US. We are all looking forward to his retirement next year, when he will probably move back to the US, but a bit further south, as his wife is from a very warm climate and doesn't really appreciate New England winters. This is fine by the rest of us--we'll just be glad that he's on the same continent!

If you want to know the hardest part of moving so much, it is answering the question, "Where are you from?" When I was in school, this was a tough one. If I said the name of the place we'd just moved from, people assumed I'd lived there all my life, instead of the year or two I'd actually been there. If I said the city where my parents were from, and where by coincidence I was born, then people assumed I'd lived there all my life, instead of shipping out for overseas when I was 6 months old. I never did come up with a really good answer for that one.

[Mrs-M]

What a life lived, Miss Cellane.

As with all things (comes attached), a plus and minus side, and I do like the idea of exposure to different cultures. That part is a definite plus. My guess is, I'm just one of those types of people (also an introvert) who needs to be grounded and firmly planted (at all times), permanently. Solidity and structure are what I live for, in fact I always have.

Plus side of living the childhood you did, aside from exposure to other cultures, was having a large family. Re: moving or moves, the thought of what it would be like Re:, has crossed my mind a few times, hypothetically that is, but just the same, having the large family that we do, I think we'd fair well in relation to settling down in an unfamiliar place, due to being able feed off each others support and comfort.

I also imagine that if parents can approach moves with an overall educational process, i.e., learning, betterment, advancement, etc, I can see there being a fun side to it all. So glad to know you were one of those people who was able to roll with it and not allow it to consume you with depression or a feeling that you might have missed out on the quality of life that you might have otherwise had, had you you been raised in one place and kept stationary.