View Full Version : Coping with excessively chipper coworkers first thing in the morning
I am not a morning person. I roll out of bed, into the shower, and into the car (I'm low maintenance - I don't spend hours getting ready). I get my first caffeine (usually tea) when I hit the office. I have several coworkers who are excessively loud and chipper, particularly first thing in the morning. I sit near the head of the cube aisle and these people pop into everyone's cube greeting them.
It literally hurts to hear them first thing in the morning. If I encounter anyone on my way into the building, I either just nod or wave. I grab my caffeine, hide in my cube, turn my radio on softly to a local talk station, and start in on my emails (I'm in international shipping, so I have plenty of emails received overnight from Asia). I'll usually surface about 9 am (aside from grabbing stuff off the communal printer), and am willing to talk a bit.
I've got really bad allergies, and often wake up with headaches (doc and I are working on possible meds). I think this has something to do with the loudness literally hurting me. It just echoes and bounces around inside my skull.
I also never eat lunch in the kitchen. Too crowded, plus there's a flat screen TV on the wall, and it's turned up very high. I guess living alone with no TV, and only having radio/music for noise has made me somewhat noise sensitive.
To cope with the overly loud coworkers in the morning, I put a funny sign on the outside of my cube (it's allowed, people have all sorts of stuff, including kids' artwork). It's a picture of a friend's big fluffy orange cat, one eye barely open, with text of "Tiger says, if we both look like this with lack of caffeine, approach at your own peril." It was a humorous way of telling them of not popping in being so loud, which has largely worked. One or two people just don't get it, and sometime get peeved when I'm not chipper in response. I'm not a chipper person. Plus, I want to get to my work first thing in the morning, as there are several reports I have to get to several customers first thing daily, before 9 am. I'm there to work, not to socialize. I'm friendly enough, but I don't go overboard.
Anyone else have strategies for dealing with overly loud, chipper, way too social coworkers first thing in the morning?
I AM the chipper coworker, so I got nothin' for ya.
I AM the chipper coworker, so I got nothin' for ya.
Good Lord, but do you force yourself on people first thing in the morning? That's the worst part of it.
I would suggest a less subtle sign. Perhaps, "office open at 9 unless an extreme emergency. Dealing with Asian issues."
Tell them to leave you alone until whenever.
I used to do my morning work hours at home, then drive into the office ~10am or so to avoid the traffic.
Once at the office, I found noise-cancelling headphones to be incredibly helpful. My own cone-of-silence :-)
Good Lord, but do you force yourself on people first thing in the morning? That's the worst part of it.
Is talking to someone "forcing"? Then probably . . .
I'm with fidgiegirl but if I saw your sign I would respect it.
You asked "Anyone else have strategies for dealing with overly loud, chipper, way too social coworkers first thing in the morning?" When I had a doorless, cubicle and when needed, I would put a chair, back facing out, in the doorway with a sign 'office closed until (whatever time), please come back after (whatever time)' which usually worked to keep people out. I like bae's headphones idea. When I needed to really tune out and concentrate on what I needed to do I'd use headphones and become oblivious to anything around, including one time a fire drill alarm.
I used to do my morning work hours at home, then drive into the office ~10am or so to avoid the traffic.
Once at the office, I found noise-cancelling headphones to be incredibly helpful. My own cone-of-silence :-)
Wish that was an option, but it's not. We have to be able to hear the phone and answer it.
And Fidgie, by forcing yourself on someone, I mean barging into their cube, being very loud, etc. We've only got 6x6 cubes so if you're in someone's cube, you're right on top of them.
dado potato
6-9-12, 4:29pm
I assume there will be a certain amount of unavoidable interaction, although I like the idea of putting up a sign (and reinforcing it verbally as much as necessary) asking for "Quiet please". I would probably not attempt to make the message humorous though.
It might be a good idea to touch base with your supervisor, and simply explain in terms of the tasks you need to do and make him/her aware that unnecessary small-talk and noise are distracting to you... and if allowed to run amok may contribute to errors/waste. Then supervisor would know why you are putting up a sign, and it's not petty: it's about being more effective at your job.
There may be an informal norm in place that approves of people wasting each other's time on the job. At the risk of being ostracized (or perceived as a kill-joy) you can adopt a different standard. It may take more than a sign to effectively disincent and extinguish the time-wasting behaviors.
"I'm sorry, Fred. You must have mistaken me for someone who cares about your .... "
I always try to have a handful of abstract nicities ready.
"Good Morning, Thanks for coming by to see me. I'm prepping for a 9am call, can I catch up with you later today?"
"Good to see you, I can't visit now though, I got 20 emails from Asia I've got to sort through here quick. Let's try to chat later."
"Are you available later in the day? I've got to get to these things quickly or I'll lose my mojo"
If it's for real, I post a sign - "Working on Deadline Project, Please email me and I'll respond as possible"
Surely to goodness after about 20 times they would get the hint.
Maybe just try to celebrate that you have some happy-go-lucky co-workers that care enough to say Good Morning (??) .....
or maybe they just like to kill time and you are as good as any wall to talk to :)
Any chance you can move to a more out of the way spot? Higher cubicle walls? Seems like management could go a long way to fix this with just a little effort.
I also second the idea of signs, plus headphones. Even if you're not actually using the headphones, people respect them and think you're listening to something even when you're not. Headphones are pretty popular in the cubicleland where I work - people use them to drown out extraneous noise, and also to listen to training or informational webinars. Just keep them on even in one ear, and you can still hear the phone.
Miss Cellane
6-9-12, 5:26pm
I'm a morning person. Not by choice. I just seem to wake up early. This time of year, I'm waking up with the sun, so about 4:30am. This is not my preferred waking time. But the result is that by the time I get to work, I've been up for hours. I've already taken my daily walk, read for an hour, had breakfast, made my bed, made my lunch, straightened the kitchen and done 15 minutes of daily chores.
Because of this, it simply doesn't occur to me that my colleagues at the office aren't also fully awake and ready to plunge into work. I'm sure, looking back, that I annoyed some of them by being cheerful in the morning, but I assure you, it wasn't on purpose.
My suggestion is to do what my sister did when we shared an apartment. Sis is very much *not* a morning person. I had no idea that saying, "Good morning!" in a cheerful tone of voice bothered her. Or that trying to talk to her before 9 am was not the best idea.
She finally sat me down and explained just how she felt in the morning and told me I was not allowed to speak to her until she spoke to me. Which felt pretty harsh to me, to be honest. But it did make living with her a lot easier.
So sit down with the worst of the chipper offenders and tell them flat out, "Look, I'm not a morning person. Please don't even talk to me until 9 am. Of course, if there's an emergency, come to me at any time. But day to day, please give me a chance to warm up before I need to be social."
As for the noise, both from co-workers talking and the TV, I see that as a separate issue which should be addressed with your boss. Usually when a boss hears that there's something interfering with employees productivity, they are happy to step in and deal with the problem. The TV volume should be lowered and closed captioning turned on. Co-workers should be asked to lower their voices. And management should look into noise-muffling technology for your area.
At work, we sometimes have to work on large projects that need to be secure. There's a room that seat about 250 people at tables with computers. Because of the way the room's walls and ceilings are designed, it's very quiet in there. You can hear your tablemates talk, but not much further than that. It's actually a problem when they are trying to address the entire room of people--they have to get a very loud sound system in there so that everyone can hear.
I have a confusion with the complaint about the "kitchen". If this is a space used by all employees for eating, breaks, informal chats, etc. why do you think you have the special priveledge to tell them to shut up, be quiet, etc.??? The TV noise maybe, if you are only asking them to turn it down a bit because you use the space and it is annoying Do they all enjoy the "kitchen" the way it is? It is crowded as you said, so they must use it.
If they turned the TV down, it would still be crowded so would you eat there then? If it does not matter what the volume is because you would not eat there for other reasons, why complain to management or otherwise?
awakenedsoul
6-9-12, 7:28pm
Can you put a do not disturb sign in place of the one you have? That should help. This is an eye opening post for me. I walk my dogs early in the a.m. I see a neighbor quite often in the morning. I say "hello", and ask how she's doing. She always rushes off and says, "I have to go." I found it strange, but now I think maybe she's not a morning person, either. Once I did the same thing, just said "Hi" and zoomed off on my bicycle, and she seemed furious. After that she made more of an effort to communicate. I don't really understand her because other times she's super friendly. I guess she's moody.
I worked for a woman who told me my walk was too bouncy, and that I had too much energy. (I was ecstatic to be employed after struggling for a while.) I eventually left the job...she was very controlling and I think also was depressed.
But, I definitely respect signs and boundaries. People with good boundaries respect other people's boundaries. I would say something and hopefully they will leave you alone.
Our kids laughed when they first came back home from college. They were used to being quiet and subdued until later in the morning. DH and I are up early and at our brightest and best first thing. We would hear this sort of groan from them, "Ohhhh, I forgot how perky you two are in the morning". We would just smile and leave them alone until they woke up.
The sign is probably the best especially telling them that Asian communications are a priority until a certain hour for you.
I used to work with a bright, creative guy who posted a homemade sign at his desk--like the kind you see at the beach that indicates tide danger: green, yellow, red with a needle indicating the risk.
He'd set it according to his mood so you knew what you were dealing with before you entered the lion's den, so to speak. http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/artists/viannen/viannen_69.gif
I wear earplugs a lot; you can hear through them, but they damp down ambient noise. You should be able to hear the phone ring through lightweight headphones, too.
My husband tells me all sorts of "office things and happenings" that transpire in his workplace, and there is this one lady who gives morning hugs and things to everyone, and DH, says, "my days would be so boring without all the colour".
My husband isn't much of a morning person either, preferring to find a quiet place to sit and start his day, but he's receptive to whatever morning synergy comes his way, and I like to think that is an important quality.
Speaking for myself, I like to try and accept and embrace everyone's idiosyncrasies/eccentricities, not matter what they consist of.
P.S. Jane, love the smiley!
Speaking for myself, I like to try and accept and embrace everyone's idiosyncrasies/eccentricities, not matter what they consist of.
Pressing the 'like' button.
I love the movie Office Space and immediately thought of "Corporate Accounts, Nina speaking, hold please" in her pitchy, high sing-song voice and also the perky lady who says "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays".
I'd probably put up more that just the cat photo - I'd probably want some that say "Don't talk to me until we've both had 3 cups of coffee" or "I'm not a morning person come back at noon:30".
And then I'd probably have to say "Hey, love you all but I'm not a morning person I can not be held responsible for my scowl when you greet me in the morning so please don't be offended and try not to talk to me until after 10 when I've caught up on my work."
Course they do sound like a lot of ladies working in a high pressure job doing what they can to get along and make it thru the day. Personally I've never enjoyed working in a woman only environment. Your work environment is what you make it.
I have a confusion with the complaint about the "kitchen". If this is a space used by all employees for eating, breaks, informal chats, etc. why do you think you have the special priveledge to tell them to shut up, be quiet, etc.??? The TV noise maybe, if you are only asking them to turn it down a bit because you use the space and it is annoying Do they all enjoy the "kitchen" the way it is? It is crowded as you said, so they must use it.
If they turned the TV down, it would still be crowded so would you eat there then? If it does not matter what the volume is because you would not eat there for other reasons, why complain to management or otherwise?
I guess I didn't fully explain. One of the chipper coworkers also complained that I never eat lunch with anyone. The noise in the kitchen is the reason, aside from not enough room. Not only is the TV loud, there's also a raucous group playing dominos. The noise level is horrific. So I study or read at my desk. There's a handful of other people who don't eat in the kitchen for the same reasons. One walks, others eat at their desk while working or sit in their cars.
They can keep it as loud as they want in the kitchen, but don't gripe at me for not eating there.
My husband tells me all sorts of "office things and happenings" that transpire in his workplace, and there is this one lady who gives morning hugs ...
Speaking for myself, I like to try and accept and embrace everyone's idiosyncrasies/eccentricities, not matter what they consist of.
Hugging in the morning? You mean touching me in the morning???!!!!! Ugh. That's crossing the line into my space and you (the generic you) don't get to do that without unpleasant repercussions. Huggies are bad enough but make that in the a.m. without me having coffee and well, that's a bad scene.
Hugging in the morning? You mean touching me in the morning???!!!!! Ugh. That's crossing the line into my space and you (the generic you) don't get to do that without unpleasant repercussions. Huggies are bad enough but make that in the a.m. without me having coffee and well, that's a bad scene.
Yeah, my rule is you don't hug me unless I'm related to you or I'm sleeping with you. Consequently, I've developed a pretty effective stiff arm technique. Where did all this hugging, squealing, and air-kissing come from, anyway... http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/rpg/paladin.gif
Yeah, my rule is you don't hug me unless I'm related to you or I'm sleeping with you. Consequently, I've developed a pretty effective stiff arm technique. Where did all this hugging, squealing, and air-kissing come from, anyway... http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/rpg/paladin.gif
Jane, LOVE the smiley!
I used to work with a bright, creative guy who posted a homemade sign at his desk--like the kind you see at the beach that indicates tide danger: green, yellow, red with a needle indicating the risk.
He'd set it according to his mood so you knew what you were dealing with before you entered the lion's den, so to speak. http://www.kolobok.us/smiles/artists/viannen/viannen_69.gif
I like this idea! I prefer something with humor.
Hugging in the morning? You mean touching me in the morning???!!!!! Ugh. That's crossing the line into my space and you (the generic you) don't get to do that without unpleasant repercussions.
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."
http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film/DVDReviews16/a%20Don%20Siegel%20The%20Shootist%20John%20Wayne%2 0DVD%20Review/a%20Don%20Siegel%20The%20Shootist%20John%20Wayne%2 0DVD%20Review%20PDVD_009.jpg
So if we should have a National SL Discussion Forum convention, I move we wear signs that say, "Please Hug" or "Hug at your own Peril"
Tradd whatever you decide to do.....
Be Kind. (this is on a neighborhood church board right now and has 'ministered' to me more than just about anything I've read lately)
Firm if necessary, but kind.
I have found being pleasant, nice, inclusive (not at the expensive of my boundries) to be some of my surest tools to help me do my job the most effectively and get the least push back from my colleagues.
When I worked in Cubleland Ultimate - we also had a myriad of PC Workplace Environment meetings.
If you all do and you feel trusting of your HR department... maybe you should plant a seed with HR to discuss the spectrum of ways people react to noise, invasive social interactions, etc.
No need for you to get labeled the Grump in Cube L27 if you're not the only person that feels the way you do.
Edit to Add: Please don't interpret this as me saying you would be anything other than kind. Kindness has been top of mind for me lately..... most of my posts are me just working my 'own stuff' through outloud via 'yourall's stuff' anyway, if that makes sense.
Originally posted by Mtnlaurel.
So if we should have a National SL Discussion Forum convention, I move we wear signs that say, "Please Hug" or "Hug at your own Peril"Sadly, I move to excuse myself of such a convention. Nothing I loathe more than walking on egg-shells around others...
Except for a few cubes in a central hall, most everyone where I work has their own office. The cubists all have earphones. I have always found it strange that many of my co-workers come in to their offices, shut the doors or put on their earphones and rarely commune with each other except at meetings or in the restroom. My own group is quite a bit friendlier but there is no one here who would even think about being chipper in the morning. That would irritate me too. Back when there were some folks here from other generations, there was a lot of camaraderie, parties, etc. Almost too much. I kind of miss it though since younger staff don't talk very much unless spoken to.
catherine
6-10-12, 10:36am
This is funny because I am the chipper morning person and my DH is DEFINITELY like you, Tradd! When we went to stay for a couple of days at a monastery the rule he liked the best was that no one talks to anyone before 11am, and he pretty much enforces that when we're home.
When I see him, I say a VERY brief "g'morning" and ignore him for hours (we both work from home).
When my oldest son is here, it's torture on DH because my son and I are the same--we'll be chatting about all kinds of things--working out DS's ideas for inventions, what he did on the weekend, what he's going to do on the next weekend, how my work is going, funny youtube jokes, blah blah blah. It's great to have someone to talk to at 7am!!
I think your sign is a great idea.
"So if we should have a National SL Discussion Forum convention, I move we wear signs that say, "Please Hug" or "Hug at your own Peril" (Mountain Laurel)
I've actually been to a convention where these were available--years and years ago. A group with lots of crusty introverts like me. My tribe.
catherine
6-10-12, 11:42am
"So if we should have a National SL Discussion Forum convention, I move we wear signs that say, "Please Hug" or "Hug at your own Peril" (Mountain Laurel)
I've actually been to a convention where these were available--years and years ago. A group with lots of crusty introverts like me. My tribe.
That's great--but because I, too, am introverted, I will never initiate hugs (fear of rejection and not wanting to offend anyone), but I LOVE to get them! So if you see me, "Please Hug"
Miss Cellane
6-10-12, 12:50pm
My own group is quite a bit friendlier but there is no one here who would even think about being chipper in the morning.
Being chipper in the morning is not a choice for me; it is my default setting, if you will. I've had to learn to choose to not show evidence that I'm in a good mood, awake and lively, because of the way other people react to me.
I just wanted to put this out there, because some of the posts make it seems as if cheerful morning people are that way on purpose to annoy other people. For some of us, it is just the way we are. We can tone it down a bit to fit into to a specific corporate culture. But we really aren't trying to make other people's lives more difficult.
And to be frank, it can be an issue for us, when people don't want to answer questions we need answered right away. It can seem like a snub when a cheerful "Good morning!" is met with a grunt, or "Go away!," or "Don't bother me now!" or "Come back when I've had my coffee."
That's why I think speaking directly to the people most affected is a good idea. You can make it clear it's a situation of "It's not you, it's me--I need the first hour in the morning to get up to speed."
treehugger
6-10-12, 12:58pm
That's why I think speaking directly to the people most affected is a good idea. You can make it clear it's a situation of "It's not you, it's me--I need the first hour in the morning to get up to speed."
It totally agree with this. Success in the workplace is all about compromise to get along with other people. Everyone needs to give a little and open, respectful requests are always the way to go. Of course, you can't control how others react to those requests, but that is still the best way to go.
Kara
Well, I think it's reasonable for one's employer to expect one to be "on" for the day during any hours where pay is being earned. Not participating in mindless early morning chattering with the chipper crowd is one thing, failing to participate in necessary business communication is entirely another.
Agreed. I'm a morning person, ready to go right out of the sack, but that doesn't translate to "chipper."
[QUOTE=mtnlaurel;85256]So if we should have a National SL Discussion Forum convention, I move we wear signs that say, "Please Hug" or "Hug at your own Peril"
/QUOTE]
Wait.....I have issues with name tags in general.:|(
edited to say: See how nervous the thought was...I couldn't even get my quote right! :)
Well, I think it's reasonable for one's employer to expect one to be "on" for the day during any hours where pay is being earned. Not participating in mindless early morning chattering with the chipper crowd is one thing, failing to participate in necessary business communication is entirely another.
In my case, I'll answer any necessary questions, but it's the mindless chatter that's the problem.
People can change.
I hated mornings. Never wanted to be up before 10 a.m.
Serious night owl.
When I had a job where I needed to be awake and alert at 8 a.m. I decided to become more of a morning person. Slowly over time my morning attitude has changed. I love the early mornings now. I tend to be wide awake by 5 a.m. and really appreciate that extra time. Some mornings I go kayak. I love slipping the kayak onto the lake before the sun starts to rise - talk about a peaceful way to get a day going.
This morning I had the most enjoyable breakfast sitting on the back bench that looks out over the valley behind us. Just me, the sun, the dog and cat. And I was even early to church. I love it that the family doesn't have to walk aorund on eggshells around me in the mornings like they use to.
simple living life
6-10-12, 3:48pm
People can change.
I hated mornings. Never wanted to be up before 10 a.m.
Serious night owl.
When I had a job where I needed to be awake and alert at 8 a.m. I decided to become more of a morning person. Slowly over time my morning attitude has changed. I love the early mornings now. I tend to be wide awake by 5 a.m. and really appreciate that extra time. Some mornings I go kayak. I love slipping the kayak onto the lake before the sun starts to rise - talk about a peaceful way to get a day going.
This morning I had the most enjoyable breakfast sitting on the back bench that looks out over the valley behind us. Just me, the sun, the dog and cat. And I was even early to church. I love it that the family doesn't have to walk aorund on eggshells around me in the mornings like they use to.
wow ,that sounds wonderful. i need to go up erlier,i like that.but one step at a time,now a have a routine that is go my daily walk away for 2hours,a nice round.
If anyone is interested, read Mary Oliver "Why I Wake Early":
Why I Wake Early
Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who made the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and the crotchety –
best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light –
good morning, good morning, good morning.
Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.
~ Mary Oliver ~
(Why I Wake Early, 2004)
Well, yeah. But 4:30 is a bit much. Surely even Ms. Oliver might agree.
I am not a morning person. I roll out of bed, into the shower, and into the car (I'm low maintenance - I don't spend hours getting ready). I get my first caffeine (usually tea) when I hit the office. I have several coworkers who are excessively loud and chipper, particularly first thing in the morning. I sit near the head of the cube aisle and these people pop into everyone's cube greeting them.
It literally hurts to hear them first thing in the morning. If I encounter anyone on my way into the building, I either just nod or wave. I grab my caffeine, hide in my cube, turn my radio on softly to a local talk station, and start in on my emails (I'm in international shipping, so I have plenty of emails received overnight from Asia). I'll usually surface about 9 am (aside from grabbing stuff off the communal printer), and am willing to talk a bit.
I've got really bad allergies, and often wake up with headaches (doc and I are working on possible meds). I think this has something to do with the loudness literally hurting me. It just echoes and bounces around inside my skull.
I also never eat lunch in the kitchen. Too crowded, plus there's a flat screen TV on the wall, and it's turned up very high. I guess living alone with no TV, and only having radio/music for noise has made me somewhat noise sensitive.
To cope with the overly loud coworkers in the morning, I put a funny sign on the outside of my cube (it's allowed, people have all sorts of stuff, including kids' artwork). It's a picture of a friend's big fluffy orange cat, one eye barely open, with text of "Tiger says, if we both look like this with lack of caffeine, approach at your own peril." It was a humorous way of telling them of not popping in being so loud, which has largely worked. One or two people just don't get it, and sometime get peeved when I'm not chipper in response. I'm not a chipper person. Plus, I want to get to my work first thing in the morning, as there are several reports I have to get to several customers first thing daily, before 9 am. I'm there to work, not to socialize. I'm friendly enough, but I don't go overboard.
Anyone else have strategies for dealing with overly loud, chipper, way too social coworkers first thing in the morning?
I wear head phones at work to drown the noise out. I usually listen to pandora. Then they told us we couldn't listen to pandora anymore. But I have an ipod. I can still hear the phone ringing if I need to answer it. That's precisely why I don't use really good earphones at work. So I can hear what's happening around me.
awakenedsoul
6-10-12, 7:15pm
Tradd,
It sounds like you're an introvert and they are extroverted. I'm an introvert, too. I have to make an effort to be social and act more like I did as a teenager, young twenty-something. It's probably better that you eat lunch on your own. Extroverts need other people for energy. Introverts find it draining. Could you work from home? Some places are real flexible about that now.
Tradd,
It sounds like you're an introvert and they are extroverted. I'm an introvert, too. I have to make an effort to be social and act more like I did as a teenager, young twenty-something. It's probably better that you eat lunch on your own. Extroverts need other people for energy. Introverts find it draining. Could you work from home? Some places are real flexible about that now.
I am actually quite an extrovert, but I'm not a morning person. Working from home isn't an option in my industry.
awakenedsoul
6-10-12, 10:11pm
Understandable. As my dad says, "It's not easy getting along with people." Hope you find a solution. I used to have neighbors who were late night partyers, and it really grated on my nerves. (I'm a morning person.) The only thing that made them more considerate was getting a very loud, protective German shepherd. She would stand by the fence and bark incessantly and then they got the picture. (Turns out they didn't like noisy neighbors, either.)
jennipurrr
6-11-12, 10:03am
We've been having drama recently in my office where one coworker got her feelings hurt because the other would never chat in the morning...first thing in the morning for god's sake! I'm not a morning person either. Fortunately I can get to my office with little chit chat, and then hide for a couple hours. I think the sign is a good idea...most people should get the picture.
I actually get a lot of things done in the morning, but the last thing I want to do is have early meetings or talk to folks about anything. I schedule meetings after lunch if possible.
I so sympathize with this. There's a gigantic guy in our office who just takes up all the air in the room. He's a sweetie and I like him, but it's exhausting to be around him even for a couple minutes. Talking is like breathing for him - there's a real desperation around it actually. I've had the sense that he actually might die if he were muzzled. He's got a good heart, but he's deeply narcissistic. So I'm working in a little studio with the door closed, and he sees me frantically typing, trying to catch up on my emails in the morning. And he bursts right the hell in on me anyway.
If I tell him I need a few minutes, he'll get this shocked and crestfallen look on his face - he's gone like a shot, and I'll feel bad because I've hurt him. That makes me feel worse.
He invades me every morning, so I've had plenty of chances to practice different strategies. I've resorted to a passive-aggressive thing where I just don't turn around - I keep working on my task with my back to him, going "uh huh, uh huh," as he's yammering on. I don't think he likes it, necessarily, but he doesn't at all get the hint. In his world, there's NOTHING more important than him being able to get his story out, even if I've heard it a million times.
I used to be insanely angry over this guy. Now I realize he's just got a personality disorder. It's really up to the boss to try to manage this kind of thing, but that will never happen at this company.
Anyway, long story short, I realized a while back that I'm the kind of person who doesn't function well in offices. I don't really crave or seek out interaction. It's not that I don't enjoy people - I do - although at this particular place there's so much paranoia and blame-shifting and bad blood, that it poisons even casual interaction. I was born to be a writer, pecking out my deathless prose in a book-lined penthouse apartment in Paris, a silky dog at my feet, chocolates at hand, and NO CO-WORKERS!
Yeah, maybe in my next life ;)
I call that "tuna syndrome." Just as tuna have to keep swimming to stay alive, some people need to talk.
OMG JaneV2.0, TUNA SYNDROME! Yeah, and it's especially relevant to this guy, because he also smells bad! :laff:
Such an interesting thread. I've no advice but I really sympathise.
I'm an introvert and a language teacher, and my interactions with students take up all my people-energy. When I'm not in the classroom or discussing work issues I want to be left in peace to get on with my preparation and marking. In one of my jobs my extroverted line manager never stops talking and it drives me crazy - I'm more than happy to talk about work-related stuff but I'm not interested in the minutiae of her domestic life. She's certainly not interested in mine! I love my friends dearly, and love to chat to them, but I'm at work to work, not to socialise. If I worked with a friend, I'd still prefer to leave the chit-chat until we had finished our work.
I guess I like to keep my roles separate.
In one of my jobs my extroverted line manager never stops talking and it drives me crazy -
Wow, timely comment--I'm on the road right now with a client I LOVE, but she is just so intense, I'm drained at the end of the day--she's over-the-top with talking, and enthusiasm and let's do this and let's do that--and the stuff is great, but I just always feel so tired when I'm done with one of her projects.
I don't know about your client, who sounds amazing, but my line manager is full of awesome ideas and enthusiasm - but she fails to deliver on 99% of her promises. It has taught me a lot about keeping quiet if I'm not sure I can deliver...
Well, I think it's reasonable for one's employer to expect one to be "on" for the day during any hours where pay is being earned. Not participating in mindless early morning chattering with the chipper crowd is one thing, failing to participate in necessary business communication is entirely another.
+1
And if that means getting up earlier and drinking tea at home and doing the Orthodox version of a loving-kindness meditation for people who are chipper in the morning before you go to work, then a change in routine might be a good thing.
In my case, I'll answer any necessary questions, but it's the mindless chatter that's the problem.
Talking just to fill space really drives me nuts. I hope we someday evolve to a point where nobody feels uncomfortable in silent company.
There was always a running joke with my staff that "Nella's body may be in the office, but her brain is still at home asleep!" In a very lighthearted way I always used to let people know that I really wasn't fully functioning until 9:00, even if I was in the office by 7:00. You could always bet that at 9:01 there'd be somebody at the door who wanted to speak to me. Everybody knew they could ask a question before 9:00 but not to expect an answer until 9:01!
try2bfrugal
6-26-12, 6:18pm
Maybe the chreery coworker could use a little Despondex?
FDA Approves Depressant Drug for the Annoyingly Cheerful
http://www.theonion.com/video/fda-approves-depressant-drug-for-the-annoyingly-ch,14310/
Note: It is satire from The Onion and has at least one swear word in the ad. :)
Try2bfrugal--I love it. I practice some of those natural methods, and I'm not even perky!
treehugger
6-26-12, 8:08pm
Maybe the chreery coworker could use a little Despondex?
That's some funny stuff. Thanks so much for sharing that. There are no smiley faces or exclamation marks in my post because I just started taking Despondex.
Kara
ToomuchStuff
6-26-12, 9:08pm
Wear a t shirt that says, happy people suck! That and a scowl and people avoid you.>:(
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