View Full Version : growing out gray hair
I guess this is the right place to talk about appearance and beauty care?
I decided to grow out my gray hair. I have been waiting until I had more percentage of gray so it would me more white/silvery than the rather colorless dark gray. So now i have about an inch of new growth. I work summer camp and school starts August 27 so the weekend before I scheduled my 'cut it off' appointment. I am mostly worried about when the hair is pretty darn short and how that style will look. Also if it is not enough white which will not look as pretty to me.
I realized in all the places I have gone the last year (I was Ms flexible at work and so was at 7 schools over the course of the year) I don't recall almost anyone who had natural gray/white hair. In my organization I can only think of one and she is rather hippy style, I want the classy styled white hair. I am not really doing this to look super natural, although stopping dying it is a big deal, but I really have wanted my hair white for about 10 years.
Blackdog Lin
7-11-12, 9:11pm
Zoe Girl - I have no real advice.....other than whatever you want to do with your gray hair, it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. It's your head, it's your hair, and it has nothing to do with your value as a person.
I have girlfriends my age (55, plus and minus), and some of them look fabulous with their chic haircuts and their highlights and their lowlights (what are lowlights, anyway?), and they spend humongous amounts of money a year to look this way; and then there are some of us that go natural, and have decided that spending all that money to look (fabulous? modern?) is a waste, and we just try to look the best we can with what we have.
I think it's a wash. Either way. My personal decision is to go natural, and live with the salt-n-pepper till I go completely gray, but only 'cause I can't see spending the money to comform to society's image of what I should look like. But I understand completely the wish to look younger, to feel the need to fit in.....
Wishing you happiness with your decision.....
Blackdog: Lowlights are dark color that's still lighter than your natural color added in with the highlights to add dimension because the more different colors you have the more natural your color looks.
Zoe: Have you thought of buying temporary hair color (lasts 7-10 shampoos) at the drugstore and using that for a few months until your natural color grows out enough to get a cute short cut but you don't look as if you've been scalped?
I would think that if you did that till like Christmas vacation and then did the big cut then you'd have a good amount of length so you could safely cut and still look good.
To do that though, you'd be committing to the frequent drugstore colors for several months--but then you'd be free.
If I were in your situation, I might get the shortest cut I could get away with, and have it tipped to look like the contrast was deliberate.
mtnlaurel
7-11-12, 11:50pm
Going Gray is a topic that I occasionally go bananas about researching on the web... there are quite a few websites out there where people chronicle their Going Gray journeys.
http://goinggrayblog.com/2012/04/going-gray-makeover-series-part-2-hairstyles-cuts-colors/
http://www.annekreamer.com/about
http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/ -- and has a really good facebook page
And this article says we are 'cutting edge' :)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46479961/ns/today-style/t/granny-chic-going-gray-hot-new-hair-trend/
Just last night I found an article in the March 2012 Town & Country Mag entitled "Silver Belles" for some reason I can't find the link... these are all ladies that have no shortage of spare change hanging around, but have gone natural and are stunning.
This woman in particular has captured my imagination... Linda Rodin
http://anniesallnatural.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/beauty-bad-ass-linda-rodin/
http://www.beautylish.com/a/vmjci/linda-rodin-interview
https://www.google.com/search?q=linda+rodin+stylist+town+and+country+maga zine+silver+belle&hl=en&rlz=1C1_____enUS485US485&prmd=imvnso&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=4EL-T_KELKOL7AHKiMjIBg&ved=0CD8Q_AUoAQ&biw=1680&bih=935#q=linda+rodin&num=10&hl=en&rlz=1C1_____enUS485US485&tbm=isch&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=e0db88254d8b67bc&biw=1866&bih=1038
I am auburn with silvers & grays. Swimming over the summer though my hair is looking dull, dull, dull.
I was considering starting to try the Clairol Shimmering Lights shampoo or Aveda Blue Malva shampoo to see what would happen.
Graying seems to be working out for me thus far.... keeping my fingers crossed it continues this way.
Oooh all the cool sites feed my need to research all of this.
I have been using the white hair shampoo (ask at a beauty supply store, it is blue or purple) and that really shines up the silvery gray hairs. I actually got a compliment today on how interesting my hair is with so many colors. I dyed my hair the last time much lighter and very close to my natural color so I do not have a line that is showing. It is very nice, the sharp line when I dyed my hair darker was not looking good. I also used the manic panic arctic white toner. It really only works on hair that is lightened chemically very light so it is whitening the very lightest blond parts of my dyed hair. I am not sure it is doing anything, and my hairdresser recommends against it.
Oh yeah, and i am 45 so I am not sure I am younger than most who are not coloring but the last person who guessed my age (and seemed very honest) said mid 30's. I give credit to oil of olay and meditation, LOL
I coloured my hair for years when I was working, but let it turn grey once I retired.
Last week I got tired of my hair flopping over my eyes, so I walked up the street to a barber shop to have the female barber cut it off.
I am now wearing a soft man's haircut and loving it. Everyone who has seen it has remarked on how nice it looks on me. From now on, no more expensive haircuts at hairdressers ever again.
It feels so good to be rid of all that hair.
I don't wear makeup any longer either.
I had my colours done years ago, (a Spring), so only wear shades of blue (brings out the blue in my eyes), plus white, soft beige, black below my waist. This makes it simple to co-ordinate my clothes.
At age 81, it's surprising how my hair isn't completely grey yet, just a combination of natural blonde, some light brown and grey. Looks pretty good for an old gal.
I am 43 and I have a combination of mostly white and silver-gray hair with some dark gray thrown in. I keep my hair in a short layered style to give some blending to the multiple stages of gray and white. I love that I never need to have it colored or to keep up with coloring it. I stopped coloring it 8 years ago. My mom is completly white by the time she was 60 and while I know that is way my hair is going eventually. I like the gray.
The initial cut I got was because I was extremly ill and my hair was falling out due to the medications and had to be shaved while I was loosing it. When it grew back in I just kept it in a simple short cut because I found I liked the ease of care of the shorter style. Wash and Go , no more fussing with curling irons or product to get it to look right. You may find the initial short style cut to be odd because you are used to a longer style. Just remember that in a couple of months the gray will be grown out and by the time the holidays roll around it will look awesome and will be much longer should you choose to grow your hair longer.
I went natural from 2008-2009 and haven't looked back. I get compliments (!!!) on my hair. Yes, shocking....it is just hair, just grays mostly with a little silver (not the gorgeous silver head that my brother got, darn it) but it looks fine and I no longer worry about roots and no longer shell out a small fortune to keep it up. I do get a good cut, though I am trying to see if I can do without that (go longer but with layers....not enough to ponytail for running right now). Go for it, Zoe Girl. You can always go back to colouring if you are so inclined. And it is only hair.
BTW, those carefully coloured and coiffed women downtown look a little plastic to me. Even friends whom I KNOW are not plastic, look a bit artificial, with hair just so, makeup just so, nails just so....but I used to be one, so I do have compassion for that.
I love my looong silvery grey hair. I get comments all the time on it, about how pretty it looks. My response... 'thanks - I'm too frugal & lazy to choose any other way'. I also don't wear make-up, or engage in any of the other so-called female grooming rituals... no razors, no plucking, no body torture; no heels, no pantyhose, etc. I'm quite content to be simply myself.
834
redfox, I think your hair is great--it looks fantastic on you! Every year I go to Vermont--and I see so many women like you who have a natural beauty about them, and many of them have silver hair like yours. So I come back home and ask my hairdresser, what do you think of me growing out my hair color and going natural? And she always says, "Noooo!!!" (I use box coloring so she's not losing a sale by telling me "yes")
I've noticed that when I go for a while between colorings, my roots are far less obvious than they used to be. I think my "natural" highlights are mixing in with the highlights from L'Oreal.
I think lizii's right--maybe I'm wiser to keep the color until I'm out of the workforce. I need about 7 more years in market research to pay off my house, and so unfortunately I feel I have to put on a younger face.
cattledog
7-12-12, 10:52am
Redfox- I love your color! If I remember your age correctly, you look much younger to me. I've not yet dyed my hair, but I've got plenty of grays mixed with my brown/red hair. I love the way your hair looks. I'll admit I've entertained the idea of dye, but I don't really think I want to get started with that and deal with roots.
I have the opposite issue. My hair is still golden brown so it does not "match" my 57 yo face. There is however one grey stripe hiding under my bangs at the corner of my forehead. I think if I were trying to grow any color out and there was a large contrast, I would use a temporary rinse to even out the color. If not standing out is important to you anyway.
Oh boy, a timely topic for me, as I am right in the middle of the dilemma. Right before I started my new job, I decided I was totally sick of the the dyed-red-color-not-quite-found-in-nature rock n' roll hair I had for when I was doing more performing and working in the guitar shop. I wanted a big change to go along with the new job, so I went to the beauty school downtown and for $42 got it dyed the color it was underneath at the nape of my neck (a dark-ish brown). I thought it was a pretty dramatic change but no one else really noticed it that much, which just goes to show not THAT many people are paying attention. It's been about 5 or 6 weeks since then and I have a pretty significant 3/4 white strip at the roots and I am wavering back and forth about what I am going to do. I am leaning more and more towards letting nature take its course, as I have to wear a hat at work anyway and no one can see the transition as it is occurring. I actually look forward to my hair being all those pretty shades of white and grey and everything in between; it's the getting there that'll be hard. Since I am growing it out from the short cut I got over a year ago, when I am not at work I pretty much wear it up in one of those clip-things anyway, which hides the stripe pretty well. I think in the fall I will get another trim, the type I used to get when my hair is long and curly so it lays better; in the meantime, I'm just going to let it continue growing out.
My primary motivation is I am SICK of the upkeep and expense of hair-coloring whether I do it at home or at a salon. I have better things to do with my time and I also want to set an example that an older woman can be her natural self and still look beautiful. I don't remember who said this but I agree about looking "plastic" and "just-so." I HATE, DETEST matchy-matchy, coordinated outfits and jewelry (I guess lots of girly stuff, for the most part) and align myself with what Spartana always says. Be fit, athletic, natural, real! I will march boldly forward the way I want to look, and damn the naysayers out there 'cuz I don't care!
SiouzQ, one hallowe'en, I used what I thought was a temporary coloring as a part of a costume, and it didn't come out! My hair was short then, so when the roots got ugly, I simply shaved my head. I loved it! Try it- take it down to 1/4 or 1/8 of an inch. It feels fantastic, and everyone will want to touch it, which I loved.
I also think Redfoxes hair is awesome (and check out her profile pic for an even better look at her very long hair). I have long, waist length naturally blonde hair (very light from being out doors all day in the Southern Calif sun too). Like Pinkytoe I have just the beginnings of white in two spots above the temples. But because my hair is so light and I wear bangs, you can't see them. Once more starts going white then I think I may begin coloring it - at least at first. Don't know if that's a vainity issue (probably), a wanting my looks to be inline with the youthful image I have of myself as an active person (probably), or just a case of 'm use to my hair being a certain color and it seems weird to see it different (probably too). But, being a lazy girl who doesn't like to have to do a whole lot of so-called girly-grooming-stuff, I'll probably evenbtually let it go au natural rather than deal with it.
align myself with what Spartana always says. Be fit, athletic, natural, real!
ha Ha I say that until I see the first grey hairs :-)! But whether one chooses to be "natural" or "synthetic" it is really more about doing what "YOU" want, living and looking how you like rather than how other's want you to look or be. So if a person wants to color their hair or wear 10 inch spiked heels, welll... if that's what you like, then that's what you should do irregardless of what others tell you to do. If we here say "oh don't wear make up or color your hair because it's not what you should do as an aging simple liver" but you aren't happy unless you wear make up and color your hair, well then you aren't doing and being the person YOU want to be. So listen to yourself - not us, not anyone - and be who YOU want to be. I like my long blonde hair and probably, for awhile anyways, will keep it even if people tell me that women my age shouldn't . I like it and that's how I want to keep it for now. Now...where is the Ms. Clariol aisle?
pinkytoe, I have the same silver streak in the corner; I've changed my part to the opposite side to hide it a bit. In the past I've plucked a few and now the hair grows every which way.
Today in the salon a client came in who has gone through cancer treatments and up until today was wearing a wig similar to her previous hairstyle. Today was her first day sporting her "new do", which was very short, wavy gray hair (the treatments turned her gray). She looked really great and we all hope she'll keep it that way.
I think if you stay gray, be sure to have some color on your eyebrows. You can get them tinted. And wear mascara (lashes can be tinted too, though it's illegal in some states). I love the look of short hair; I've had it all my life and just recently grew it long. Short gray hair, eye makeup ( or not) and a positive attitude look great on a woman of any age.
Lovely, classic hair redfox, very nice!
Wildflower
7-12-12, 11:33pm
My hair is natural, a few inches past my shoulders, no layers, all one length, about 50 percent dark blonde and 50 percent silvery gray. I love it and get compliments on it all of the time. I'm one of those old hippie chicks - no make-up, nail polish, or haircolor for me. ;)
Redfox, you look like we would be kindred spirits. :)
Well, I went for a haircut yesterday and before I went I mentioned to my DH that I was going to do my typical box dye. I usually pick a shade between my dark blonde and my grey because then it turns out like highlights, which I like.
DH said, you should have the hairdresser color it for you, but I said, no, it's too expensive, I just paid for this permaculture class and I'm saving money, plus we're paying down debt, blah blah blah.
Well, he went and paid for the color for me before I got there. He was really trying to be nice (which he was), but... Anyway, she colored it, but it's NOT me. It's kind of an auburn light brown. It's too dark and flat-toned for my complexion. I feel like a lunch lady. So, now, what do I do?? I may go and get highlight, which of course are VERY expensive. If I don't do that, my roots are going to be very obvious and then I have to decide how to handle future colors.
DH's kind gesture falls into one of those "nice thought, but.." categories. Obviously I'm not going to tell DH that.
I wrote this big update and then my internet timed out so I lost it >:( But today I was looking up hairstyles to cut short for the big transition at the end of summer and the one video started 'the baby boomers start trends and the latest one is,.." Sorry I have a baby boomer issue, not towards people but towards the media portrayal of generation and trends and all that. Since I am 45 I am not boomer and I really do not think I am part of a trend. i don't want to 'accept aging gracefully' when i never had an issue with it. I am not looking forward to comments about how I had courage to go gray since I have been waiting to do this for 5 years but didn't have enough gray hair. Sorry cranky this morning.
My biggest concern is to stay very sharp and professional looking, which has nothing to do with haircolor IMHO. however the only other person in my organization with gray is more of a hippy type. We work with kids so dressing up is not the big deal it is in other types of work. This affects hair because if I am not very silvery white then I want white highlights added. Not kidding. And my hairdresser says no basically. I will give this the summer and go to her for the short haircut when school starts but then I may have to change ( and she has done our families hair for 15 +years including my sister who drives over an hour for color a few times a year. Looking at my mom and grandmother it could be a looong time before it is mostly all white.
Okay gonna do some type of housework .
I'm a bit surprised. I had no idea dying hair was something anyone still did. I kind of associate it with my mother. My wife's, (and my) hair is starting to turn gray. It seems like a lovely progression to me. I'd be shocked if my wife dyed it.
Shows how much I know.
I'll probably let the gray show once I'm out of the work force, but for now the box color is staying. I already have enough working against me, in high tech 30 is old, never mind 51. I keep my hair in a reasonably up to date style, and I do occasionally whiten my teeth to avoid looking fully my age.
Tussiemussies
7-14-12, 9:24pm
Herbgeek, I am also 51 and consider whitening my teeth, does it make them more sensitive? Sorry if I am hijacking this thread!
Catherine, why not try just face frame highlights? At my salon they usually run around $50 (sometimes you can pay for just a few). You can just do the ones around your face and leave the rest of the color as is; the cost is less but it will complement your complexion.
You can also ask about having a toner applied, but I'm not sure if it would affect brown, as I've mostly seen it used with blonde.
For those of you who do home haircoloring and then at some point go to a salon for color, be sure to tell the stylist what you do. Sometimes the hair will take professional color differently after it's been colored with box color.
Tussiemussies- yes whitening can make you teeth sensitive, depending on your teeth. I use sensodyne toothpast while I'm in the middle of whitening, and I don't do the whitener more than once a year.
I'm a bit surprised. I had no idea dying hair was something anyone still did. I kind of associate it with my mother. My wife's, (and my) hair is starting to turn gray. It seems like a lovely progression to me. I'd be shocked if my wife dyed it.
Shows how much I know.
Ha Ha - I see you aren't from California where everyone is a "natural" blonde :-)! I think that choosing to dye or not dye is just a matter of someones personal self-expression (if they do it for themselves rather than because they feel they HAVE too). Some people like gray hair, some like colored hair, some like hot pink mohawks. Whatever is "you" is what you should do. I probably will color my hair (if it isn't too much of a hassle or expense - and it doesn't seem to be) to keep it it's blonde color - for now. The hot pink mohawk would be tempting if iy didn't require so much darn work to maintain :-)!
awakenedsoul
7-17-12, 6:43pm
I saw a yoga teacher I know at the park and she had cut her super long bleached blonde hair to shoulder length level and let it go grey. It looked so pretty! She looked so much more relaxed and natural. I was amazed. (She's in her 50's.) I was so impressed with how it looked that I decided to do the same thing with mine. It's still brown, but has lots of blonde highlights from the sun. There's a grey streak in back, and some grey underneath. I used to use henna, which was nice, too. I find that since I started taking fish oil, my hair looks so much softer and prettier! It was getting dry, and I thought it was age. (I'm 47.) My mom is in her seventies, and her hair is still brown! (Her father was Native American.)
Tussiemussies
7-17-12, 10:15pm
Thanks Herbgeek for letting me know...
fidgiegirl
7-17-12, 11:30pm
Ok, thanks for this thread. I am a long way from having to worry entirely about it, but the hairstylist and I were joking about my "sparklies" today when I got a cut. Then I started wondering if I should start with makeup, which I have never used. ... Looked so washed out in the mirror. Long story short I feel better about it after reading this thread! I never have been into beauty and don't really want to start now. You have encouraged me!
Ummm, I caved into today and went to the beauty institute to get my grey covered up. I guess I'm just not ready yet to au natural yet! Frugal in the sense that I went to the beauty school where they charge less, and no tipping allowed and I also got 25% off because I flashed them my yearly GO!PASS bus pass (many downtown businesses give a percent off of their services if you use your GO!PASS - I got a free appraisal on some pearls I inherited from the local jeweler's this year too).
I'm still so unhappy with my "colored to look natural" dye job that I got a couple of weeks ago. I really liked it better when I had a little grey "tip" across my forehead along with more of a highlighted look.
I am either going to go back to the salon and get some pretty heavy highlights or I'm going to wait and go back to my old way of coloring it with a light shade that lightens the dark and darkens the grey and kind of looks more interesting than this mono-colored mess.
It was haircut day, I am glad I am not the only person who thinks this much about their hair even on a simple living board.
So the growing out looks a lot better than I thought it did, one school I have been at this summer had horrible light. So i ended up with a bob with 3-4 inches cut off. I am happy with it, and my hairdresser said the gray looks super shiny. I use the old lady gray hair shampoo.
I also realized that my stressed out issue is more about work. I have traveled to different schools for camp this summer to do the curriculum/activities and had different issues with on-site staff. The last one was authority issues where they pulled rank a lot instead of cooperating. The issue is that I outrank everyone there and I could not get them to follow directions at the water park. So when all the staff comes back for our days of training guess what, I will be in front training them and i want to look fabulous and mature. So there, ha ha (not very mature huh)
dado potato
7-29-12, 9:02am
I would say Christine Lagarde, current president of the IMF, looks better than excellent with her gray hairstyle. She is in her mid-50s, a former competitive synchronized swimmer, now vegetarian and teetotal abstainer from alcohol.
cattledog
7-30-12, 10:16am
I would say Christine Lagarde, current president of the IMF, looks better than excellent with her gray hairstyle. She is in her mid-50s, a former competitive synchronized swimmer, now vegetarian and teetotal abstainer from alcohol.
I agree- she looks great! The thing I find funny is that most people look their age, plus or minus a couple of years. People can look good, like Christine, but she would never pass for a 40-something, even if her hair was dyed.
my hair is about 30-40% grey. my natural color is a light chestnut. for several years i've used (3-4 x per yr) a demi-permanent color gloss that buy at Sally's. the gloss add shine and depth and no visible grow-out line of demarcation. i did have some highlights & lowlights done at the salon this past spring, which added some interest and texture, but covered NONE of the grey - the sections that went inside the foils were covered with permanent color and the grey in those sections was unchanged. this has happened in the past and i end up feeling like i've wasted a chunk of money. so, i get better results with the demi-perm gloss, which at least tones the grey.
all this to say i think about just letting the grey come in, using only the clear formula of the gloss to keep things shiny and see what happens. i'm also in the midst of a grow out, wanting the length to my shoulders by early spring '13.
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