Help me *want* to go back to school

[treehugger]

(warning: this is way longer than it needs to be, so feel free to skim)

I need an attitude adjustment. I am 37 years old (will be 38 next month) and I need to go back to school to get a bachelor’s degree. I am two years into a great career as an environmental consultant, with a great company that encourages personal/professional development. They provide a decent amount of money per year for continuing education. I sort of fell into this career by luck; I started here as an administrative assistant (which I had been at various companies since 1996) and then was in the right place at the right time to advance to project work.

I don’t already have a degree for several reasons. I had to move out of the house at 18 and, of course, work full time. People can obviously work full time and go to school, but I honestly had no idea how to pay for college, nor did I really think I was smart enough to go anyway. So, I didn’t go (well, I did go to community college for a while right after high school but dropped out because of money and lack of motivation; I also spent 2.5 years of night school getting a useless horticulture certificate in 2001-2002).

I thought I was one of the “smart kids” when I was younger, but I distinctly remember suddenly losing all confidence in my intellectual abilities part-way into my junior year in AP History. And I never got it back. I coasted through senior year, did surprisingly OK on my SATs, graduated easily with a B average (public high school was really easy after all), and scraped together the money to apply for one college ($50, UC Davis), but of course didn’t get in since you need more than Bs and OK SATs to go to a UC school. And again, I didn’t know how to pay for it even if I had been accepted. So, all of that silliness behind me, I went about my life. I’m only explaining all of this to illustrate that school and I never had a good relationship. September and school supplies do not give me the warm fuzzies.

I got married in 1996, and had a series of crappy, decent, then better office jobs. When I ended up here in 2008, I never dreamed that this would finally turn into a *career*. Pretty cool, actually. So, until now, not having a degree hasn’t really got in my way, although it has always been a source of personal shame. But, if I want to continue to advance and get promoted, I will need to get that degree. Everyone here has one and uses it (with the exception of admin. and a few other support roles). There are a lot of different types of engineers and scientists here.

So, why the need for an attitude adjustment when work will pay for most of school and it can only help my career? Because the very idea of school terrifies me. All those not-smart-enough feelings come back with a rush. It’s not my age, honestly, because I know perfectly well that there are all ages in community colleges and at whatever university I eventually transfer to. But the amount of time it will take looms ahead of me and makes me feel like, even starting now (well, next month, “fall”) I will still *never* be finished. Ugh. That’s exactly what my mom just said to me when I inadvertently let it slip that I was going back to school. That annoyed me, but only because she is right. Since I know I will not be able to handle full time school *and* full time work, and I need to work full time, school stretches on endlessly into my future. One too-hard-for-me class at a time.

Then, aside from all of that, I also have to (eventually, but not yet) decide what to get the degree in. Something in the broad categories of the environment or health and safety, since those are the 2 giant umbrellas over what we do here. And there are fewer health and safety consultants at my company, but this is a growing need for our clients, so I am leaning towards that. So, lots of choices, but nothing that stands out for me.

Oh, and math. Math?? I never “got” algebra, even though I passed the classes. My last math class was way back in 1991. Eek. Not to mention, night school. Double eek. My internal clock is morning-oriented, and I know from experience that going to school until 10 at night is really tough for me. My brain shuts off by 9. Unless I am under a deadline at work, which I have been since February, and then I can work until 10, but only a few days a week before I can’t even put thoughts together any more.

So, I know that was long and whiny, but this is the first time I am putting all of these thoughts down. And if you were able to read even 25% of that, maybe you can offer some suggestions for how I can turn all these negative thoughts around and embrace the experience of school, to try to get the most out of it and enjoy the journey. Cause goodness knows, I don’t think I can do that on my own.

Kara

[Square Peg]

I graduated high school with a 2.9, and it was only that high because I took super easy classes my senior year. I worked in dead end jobs for a few years, got married, had babies. I NEVER thought of myself as smart. Really, never. Math still terrifies me. When I was 35 with 3 kids, hubby decided to go to college. I figured I might as well apply as well because it would help financial aid wise. I got in, started taking courses, and was actually one of the best students in my classes. I got a 4.0 my first year! As an older student, you have interesting insights that the younger students don't get. You also have a more in tune work ethic and desire to do the work. I liked it so much that I went on to graduate school!

Look into online courses (which are offered at reputable state schools), which can give you more flexibility in your schedule. That way you won't be tied to evening coursework.
You can do this!

[Square Peg]

Also, math terrifies a lot of people. Most colleges offer assessment and place you accordingly. There is plenty of tutoring and also workshops on dealing with school anxiety. I have heard good things about the Khan Academy videos.

[sweetana3]

Well, it took my husband 11 years to get his bachelors degree due to a move and "losing" credits due to going to a more highly regarded school at the new location. He committed to working full time (managed 40 people) and doing full time school work. But, we did nothing else in life. Nothing. He graduated second in his class at Indiana University.

I am a planner and would like all details before I would make a committment. Explore what degree, what costs, what are all !! the requirements and what accomodations could your employer make to allow you to take all the classes. Some might interfere with normal business work hours. Online or classes? Very important to find out when and how often required classes are given.

Realize what you will have to do to get the degree after all the investigation above and then make the decision.

[fidgiegirl]

I know it was for context, but no use in beating yourself up for not having done this up until now. There are a lot of "first generation" college students that end up in your same boat. We can't turn back the clock . . .

Perhaps it is worth chilling out over it for another term or two. Aren't you relatively new to this job? See if some aspects of it emerge as really engaging. But the main reason I say this is so that you can take time to carefully choose your institution of study. In the Twin Cities area, and I imagine in the Bay Area, there are several programs geared toward adults returning to study at several public and private not-for-profit colleges and universities. Examples: they might arrange coursework for a certain program as a cohort, so you know your classmates as you move along through the classes (very common in education degrees, not sure about other areas). At least two institutions let people design their own degrees so they don't have to fit into the box of a certain major. Then there's my alma mater and others, with weekend programs where you attend two weekends per month rather than in the evenings or during the day. And I believe that the weekend students move at the same pace as a traditional "day" student, so it wouldn't be the eternal project that it seems to be right now. It's worth it to choose your institution carefully. If there is no rush, I'd take some time to do local investigation. Institutions used to working with adults no doubt have tools to help them understand the college process, help them confront the math phobias (there are SO MANY tools online now to help people understand math - you are no longer stuck with just your math teacher as a resource - thank GOD!), help with the scheduling challenges, etc.

But once you've chosen, START! Time flies so fast, that even if it's a lot of coursework, you'll be done before you know it. The time is going to go just as fast whether or not you're in school! :)

Good luck, Kara. It will be a worthwhile project!!!!!! You've already said it's something that bothers you. And you are so well-situated to have part of it paid.

[fidgiegirl]

And OMG, I didn't even think of the online courses until I saw the other posters. Golden. Though with one caveat, I am not entirely sure that all-online programs like University of Phoenix are highly regarded in some fields. Anyone know about that? My sense though is that if you do online courses as part of a brick-and-mortar institutions programming, no one knows the difference.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Yea around the same age, I never went back to get a degree either because I never needed one to earn more than enough to live on, and work was quite enough to fill most of my time, and I wanted the rest of the time devoted to *MY* life, not what society wanted for me, or employers or etc. (besides the fact that it was never primarily intellectual development that I lacked growing up, what I lacked was emotional and interpersonal development :~) - though one can always gain in intellectual development of course and heaven knows I do believe in that pursuit).

1) You don't absolutely *need* to get a degree. I'm not saying don't get one, just calling the attention to "needs" versus there may be a "lot of good reasons" like career advancement and job security, to take the path of getting a degree and that is for you to evaluate rationally. Just thinking pushing ourselves on some path we feel we "must" do (there are no alternatives!) never works. Shoulding all over ourselves, and musterbation as the CBT folks say :laff:. It's not about "musts" and "show no mercy" it's about rational evaluation in the context of our goals in life and maybe just experimentation (the world would not end if you only took a few classes and decided to bail on the degree, it's ok to experiment).
2) On the subject of intellegence, I don't think you need to be all that intellegent to get a bachelors degree, everyone has one these days. I'll say that point blank. I'm not going to speak about graduate degrees because they do require more (to speak nothing of graduate degrees in the sciences, many of the smartest people I know felt dumb there). But really you don't have to be that intellegent to get a bachelors degree, which is another way of saying without even knowing you that you are probably MORE THAN smart enough.


I also spent 2.5 years of night school getting a useless horticulture certificate in 2001-2002).

Shows commitment, don't knock it, accepted it may not have market value.


So, until now, not having a degree hasn’t really got in my way, although it has always been a source of personal shame.

I hear you, I figure when I confess this, people lump you in some category of "dumb and lazy", and I don't like either epithet (or even slightly think I'm "dumb :)). I think it's more I was very confused in my youth and I do tend to march to my own drummer. But I do hear you about the shame.


But the amount of time it will take looms ahead of me and makes me feel like, even starting now (well, next month, “fall”) I will still *never* be finished. Ugh. That’s exactly what my mom just said to me when I inadvertently let it slip that I was going back to school. That annoyed me, but only because she is right. Since I know I will not be able to handle full time school *and* full time work, and I need to work full time, school stretches on endlessly into my future. One too-hard-for-me class at a time.

The classes are probably not too hard for you. This is probably why you need to experiment as it were with just taking a class or two at first without making the grand mental commitment. Then if you do make the commitment it will be in the context of actual evidence rather than mere projections of your fear and your lack (sometimes I should take my own advice :)). Anyway, then you can evaluate in the context of your other goals in life, if there is something you really really want much more than a degree (from kids to becoming a great poet) then do that (there's no "must" - you are free!). But if not the saying usually goes you will get older and time will pass anyway (it will), would you rather this time pass working toward whatever goals you want to work for in life (which may be a degree) or just pass without having worked for them? Would you rather be, I don't know, 45 having acheived a degree or 45 not having done so. If there is something in life you want more than a degree you might choose the latter but otherwise you will choose the former. Always better to be older and having pursued what we want. Don't listen to your mom, parental poison, she's degrading your abilities, it's BS.


Then, aside from all of that, I also have to (eventually, but not yet) decide what to get the degree in. Something in the broad categories of the environment or health and safety, since those are the 2 giant umbrellas over what we do here. And there are fewer health and safety consultants at my company, but this is a growing need for our clients, so I am leaning towards that. So, lots of choices, but nothing that stands out for me.

What woulld you PREFER to study? What interests you? What will hold your interest through all the years of getting a degree? If the only thing that can hold your interest in the world is say philsophy then you might still look better on a resume with a philosophy degree than no degree. But more realistically you do have a lot of not so esoteric and very practical choices here of degrees, which one interests you more as a thing to study? Really asking yourself what interests you would seem very important to me.


Oh, and math. Math?? I never “got” algebra, even though I passed the classes. My last math class was way back in 1991. Eek. Not to mention, night school. Double eek. My internal clock is morning-oriented, and I know from experience that going to school until 10 at night is really tough for me. My brain shuts off by 9. Unless I am under a deadline at work, which I have been since February, and then I can work until 10, but only a few days a week before I can’t even put thoughts together any more.

Possibly consider distance education, now be very very skeptical as there are a lot of scams out there, but if you can find it at a truly reputable college it is something to consider (I only wish the California college system offered more of this). Some reputable private colleges offer partial distance education where you only meet a few weekends a month, they generally cost and arm and a leg though, I can't in good conscience recommend massive school debt.

[try2bfrugal]

You may find it helpful to go to an accredited college geared towards adult learners. A friend went to Thomas Edison State College and got credit for all past college courses, work experience, technical training from the military, etc. He took classes locally but got his degree from Thomas Edison in New Jersey. It has worked out fine on his resume since it is a 4 year degree from an accredited college. The other two main colleges like that seem to be Charter Oaks and Excelsior.

[AmeliaJane]

There are two issues here, the psychological and the logistical.

In terms of worrying about your ability to handle it, and the amount of time it will take--College as an older student is so very different from high school...yes, you have been away from school for many years, but you have also been gaining maturity, independence, a wider perspective. I often think that education would work better if people worked in their late teens and early twenties, and went to school in their late twenties when maturity has settled in. For instance, even as a very bright student I struggled with literature classes. I just couldn't see what the teacher was trying to help me appreciate in terms of theme, style, symbolism. Around 30 I started reading some of this stuff on my own, and all of sudden I got it. I just needed more life experience to understand what other people saw in great literature. And a lot of professors really appreciate older students who understand the value of what they are doing as opposed to the younger ones who are in school just because "that's what you do next." In terms of the time it will take...in ten years you will be 47. Do you want to be 47 with or without the degree and the new career achievements it will help you toward? My mom finished her master's the same year her third child graduated college...and she started when I (her oldest) was still in high school! And here's the thing--education can be emotionally rewarding, and exciting. It isn't all the time, or maybe even 50% of the time, but it's not all grim drudging toward graduation. There will be moments of discovery, achievement, camaraderie with classmates, inspiration mixed in with the very hard work. And the other nice thing about college is that grades matter only to the degree you think they do. In high school, grades are so incredibly important because college admission and scholarships are based on them...but it's pretty rare that anyone looks at a college transcript unless you are going to graduate school. You get out of education what you put into it, so I'm not encouraging slacking, but if you get into a class where the subject material or professor don't work for you...you'll be on to something different in the next semester.

Logistics-wise, there are just so many different choices these days. Not all continuing education is at night--if you are an early bird, you might want to do online courses where you can do the work first thing in the morning, (maybe you could negotiate a work start time an hour later than usual, or something like that). As long as you take your courses from a university that you recognize as a real campus somewhere, you should be fine. More and more schools are offering distance education. And in terms of trying to figure out your degree choice...I would just ask around. Offer to take some of your colleagues who are on a track you admire out for a cup of coffee, and ask what they think. People LOVE giving advice (you're not under any obligation to take it) especially when there's no possible hidden agenda (ie, you're not hinting around for a raise or something). It's a compliment to them that you think they have something valuable to say.

Good luck!

[KayLR]

I SO agree with what Amelia Jane is saying. College is so much different as a mature adult than it was when you were 18-19. You have fewer "distractions," have better coping skills, probably better study skills due to maturity and dedication-motivation.

Math was not my forte, either, but there were some resources through the department for those who struggle: tutors and special workshops on how to study for math tests and how to study math, period.

You don't have to go full-time; I got my 2-yr degree by chipping away, 2-3 classes a quarter; and after my old credits were applied, it didn't seem like it took all that long to finish up. Then I did actually go full-time for the rest of the 4-yr. degree. I loved every minute of it---loved working with and being around the younger students. I was 50 when I earned my BS Summa Cum Laude.

My only regret is that the market for someone entering the field with my degree has completely gone to crap. When newspapers started laying off reporters, the PR-outreach type jobs were all sucked up by them. I still do some writing here and there, but nothing like I would like to do. And yet, I still have lovely student loans to pay, so am back doing office management like before. So, moral of the story: Make sure the degree not only is in something you feel passionate about, but will also be around when you finish up. I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen, but maybe that's something to consider.

[treehugger]

Thank you very much to everyone for your thoughtful replies. Y'all have given me lots to think about. I will reply more in depth later. Gotta finish my work so I can walk my dogs before it gets dark!

Regards,
Kara

[Fawn]

I have to agree with the above posters who say that going to college as an adult is far different than going as a teenager (18-19 year old.) Life experiences help you understand what is being presented, motivation is far different that for a youngster. You can do this if you want to.

I drifted in and out of college between the ages of 18-21. As a single mom at age 25, I was motivated to get my degree. It wasn't easy, but it was worth the effort. I had not had a math class for 8 years when I took Chemistry...and I made it through with some help.

[frugalone]

Kara: I could have written your post! I went through so much that you went through: Not thinking I was smart enough, issues with math (still have them!), being an older student.

The good news, I graduated summa cum laude at age 37 with a BA in English. Yes, it was hard, but it can be done! PM me if you want to talk further--I would be happy to give you some input/advice/encouragement.

I had a lot of help from family and friends. Also, two things that were indispensable: A study guide (I can find it and send you the title) and a scheduling calendar!

Best of luck to you!

[razz]

I wanted to finish my degree in my 40's and fell in love with school. It was a wonderful adventure almost like travelling to new worlds in cultural studies (I immigrated to Canada), environmental law about the Great Lakes (I live near the Great Lakes).
Life was richer and fuller and it has made me hungry for more learning.
Imagine this adventure as a long trip overseas and realize that you will need time and effort to make the trip. Lucky you to have the possibility ahead of you!

[Mrs. Hermit]

I returned to school at 51. I am in an on-line graduate program, while 4 of my children are in brick & mortar colleges. (So, yeah, there are 5 of us in school in the family currently). All the community colleges we have dealt with have offered seminars/advice sessions for adults coming to college (or back to college). The admissions reps were very good about explaining the options for taking classes, paying for classes, and getting credit for "life experience" which is something I would recommend you look into. Some colleges give as much as 15 hours class credit for work experience--that really knocks down how many classes you have to take. Talk to an admissions rep at the college you are interested in, and see what they can offer you. Schools now offer a lot more help and tutoring than they used to, especially in math and science.

The on-line school I work with doesn't require a that I logon at a certain time. It requires that I post to basically discussion forums that engage the professor and the other students in the class. I have required readings that I complete on my own. Papers, assignments and tests I email to the school. It is a very different process than the traditional classroom, requires very little interpersonal interaction, and isn't for everyone. One of my sons abhorred his on-line classes. I still prefer traditional classes, but my concentration is not offered by any traditional colleges in reasonable driving distance. So, I make it work.

I would encourage you to try going back to school. Neither you nor the college experience are the same as they used to be. Go for it.

[catherine]

Congrats to all the previous posters who went back to school after the traditional age. And congrats to tree hugger for pushing through the issues that may be holding her back.

What comes to mind as I read your post is


You have the desire to go back to school
You have the capabilities (by your own admission--you were confident in your intellect until one dumb class derailed you.)
You just don't know what to expect or where to start


How about talking to a student advisor? Just take one small bite at a time. Don't listen to your mother! (sorry, treehugger's mom) How old will you be in 5 years if you don't go to school? The same age you'll be if you DO.

My BIL, who frankly is almost functionally disabled because of the excessive amount of "mothering" he had (he lived with my MIL for years and years until she died) has decided to go to school, at 49, to get an associates degree to be an X-Ray technician. (He finally realizes that in order to live, you have to earn a living as opposed to living off your mother). He is a worrier, he has a lot of angst, he feels completely inadequate and unprepared to take the requisite biology and chemistry classes, but he's doing it. If he can do it, you can certainly do it.

You are in a great field--you have a responsibility to society to see this through!! We want your contribution to the environment, so do it for us!!

[treehugger]

Continued thanks for the helpful responses, encouragement, and stories of your own successful experiences with returning to school after some sort of break.


Also, math terrifies a lot of people. Most colleges offer assessment and place you accordingly. There is plenty of tutoring and also workshops on dealing with school anxiety. I have heard good things about the Khan Academy videos.

I have also heard a lot of good things lately about Khan Academy, including from my DH. I will definitely be looking into it. The advice my DH gave me (in addition to looking into Kahn Academy) is to take a "bonehead" math class first, no matter where the assessment places me. Just to get my feet wet and get back in the groove.


Perhaps it is worth chilling out over it for another term or two. Aren't you relatively new to this job? See if some aspects of it emerge as really engaging. But the main reason I say this is so that you can take time to carefully choose your institution of study.

Good advice, definitely, but what I didn’t mention was that I don’t have to choose a program of study, or even the institution I want to graduate from, right now. There is a community college 10 minutes away from us that I will get started at. I have so many general ed classes to get through before I can even think about transferring to a university (where I will then have to pick a major), that I do have the luxury of time, so to speak. So, I’m not committing to a program or anything right now. I just need to get started and work my way through.

That said, all the advice about seeing an advisor/counsellor is spot on. I do need to do that early next month so that I can get help mapping out a rough plan. I sincerely doubt that there is much on my transcripts that will “count” now, but of course I will find out for sure.

Also, I have been at this company 4.5 years, in my current position for just over 2. I am a treehugger at heart (surprise, surprise), so am drawn to all things environmental. I just don’t know what specific major to aim for, especially since I know it won’t be in the engineering field. But, like I said, I have become more interested in the health and safety parts of my field and am definitely curious to investigate what degrees there are related to H&S. The work I do day-to-day for our biggest client (giant oil & gas corp. - *not* BP) is helping them ensure that they comply with all of the tens of thousands of federal, state, local, and even international environmental and health and safety regulations that they are subject to. It’s all about preventing bad things from happening, and it is very important and never boring.


Also, two things that were indispensable: A study guide (I can find it and send you the title) and a scheduling calendar! Best of luck to you!

I would love to know the name of that study guide. I feel like I never learned how to study, so I need help in that area. Thanks!


All the community colleges we have dealt with have offered seminars/advice sessions for adults coming to college (or back to college). The admissions reps were very good about explaining the options for taking classes, paying for classes, and getting credit for "life experience" which is something I would recommend you look into. Some colleges give as much as 15 hours class credit for work experience--that really knocks down how many classes you have to take. Talk to an admissions rep at the college you are interested in, and see what they can offer you. Schools now offer a lot more help and tutoring than they used to, especially in math and science.

The on-line school I work with doesn't require a that I logon at a certain time. It requires that I post to basically discussion forums that engage the professor and the other students in the class. I have required readings that I complete on my own. Papers, assignments and tests I email to the school. It is a very different process than the traditional classroom, requires very little interpersonal interaction, and isn't for everyone. One of my sons abhorred his on-line classes. I still prefer traditional classes, but my concentration is not offered by any traditional colleges in reasonable driving distance. So, I make it work.

Thanks very much for the detailed advice about the kinds of help that might be available at my community college. I wouldn’t even have thought about work experience credit or seminars/advice sessions for adults coming to college.

Re. online classes. Currently, I am not interested in those, although I know that I might need to take some at some point any way. I know lots of people who have done on-line only master’s programs, and other who have taken some online classes, and, based on their experiences, I don’t think they are a good fit for my personality. I think I would get a lot more out of a real classroom and real teacher interaction. My DH is currently in school getting his Bachelor’s in Accounting (3 more semesters, woohoo!) and he has had to take some online classes when an in-person isn’t offered, and he really does not care for the format, for lots of reasons.


Don't listen to your mother! (sorry, treehugger's mom)

Don’t worry, I have made almost a career out of not listening to my mother. It’s not an accident that I moved out of the house at 18 and have been supporting myself ever since.

I actually think I have become pretty good about asking for advice and support when I need it and being able to sift through it all and keep what works for me and let the rest go. And I know who *not* to ask for either (advice or support), i.e., my mother. I really really really appreciate having this forum to turn to for practical advice and suggestions.

Thanks, y’all!

Kara

[bunnys]

All the reasons you listed for not doing it are typical cop-out, defensive excuses that many people (myself included) have used to avoid going to school. They are probably mostly illegitimate excuses. Seriously, if one of your main reasons is that you're afraid of college algebra (the only math usually required for a BA degree,) you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel of excuses. That is such a non issue and so easy to work around and push through, it's absurd.

When they think up excuses to not go back to college, most people are actually trying to defend against their fear that they can't do it.

FYI--(if you are at least average or slightly below average in intelligence) getting a college degree is not about intelligence. It is about discipline and perseverance. So if you're making excuses for not going back, be honest with yourself. If you don't really want to go, you won't be able to muster the discipline or perseverance so don't bother trying.

You should only go back to college if you can't stand not being in school any longer. Otherwise your will won't be in place and you'll drop/fail out and who needs to be reminded they're a quitter.

No one can talk you into going back. But if you do want to go back you should do it sooner rather than later. Because it will continue to eat at you. If you don't want to go back, let it go. You don't have anything to prove to anybody.

PS--your age is also irrelevant. So don't go there.

[treehugger]

All the reasons you listed for not doing it are typical cop-out, defensive excuses that many people (myself included) have used to avoid going to school. They are probably mostly illegitimate excuses. Seriously, if one of your main reasons is that you're afraid of college algebra (the only math usually required for a BA degree,) you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel of excuses. That is such a non issue and so easy to work around and push through, it's absurd.

When they think up excuses to not go back to college, most people are actually trying to defend against their fear that they can't do it.

FYI--(if you are at least average or slightly below average in intelligence) getting a college degree is not about intelligence. It is about discipline and perseverance. So if you're making excuses for not going back, be honest with yourself. If you don't really want to go, you won't be able to muster the discipline or perseverance so don't bother trying.

You should only go back to college if you can't stand not being in school any longer. Otherwise your will won't be in place and you'll drop/fail out and who needs to be reminded they're a quitter.

No one can talk you into going back. But if you do want to go back you should do it sooner rather than later. Because it will continue to eat at you. If you don't want to go back, let it go. You don't have anything to prove to anybody.

PS--your age is also irrelevant. So don't go there.

Thank you for the superduper awesome pep talk! ;) Seriously though, I have received some really great advice from the other posters here, and I am beginning to be on the verge of not dreading signing up for that first class.

Kara

[treehugger]

OK, I have taken 2 concrete steps on my journey: 1) I submitted the online application as a returning student at the local community college; and 2) I found the tuition reimbursement form in our employee handbook. I don't think there is anything else to do in that regard until I pay for classes and I have something to submit, but I will check with HR now, to be sure.

Kara

[lizii]

I went to college for the first time when I was in my early 40s. I've never been sorry I went.

For the first time in my life I finally realized I had a good brain. This was a revelation to me, because I'd always believed I was dumb.

I went to my oldest son's English class with him to see if I could keep up with the younger students, I soon discovered how welcome I was, because I was there to learn, while the younger kids skipped classes, and were only there because their parents paid their tuition. He had to help me learn how to write a proper paper assignment.

The professors (they were all Ph.Ds) enjoyed teaching older students who did their assignments on time.

I sailed through English poets, political science, psychology, sociology, anthropology, easily and enjoying every minute of it. I ended up graduating with a perfect 4.0 GPA.

It also gave me the courage I needed to boot my husband out of the house. It was a huge relief to not have him around to abuse me, and our kids as well.

I divorced him 3 years later, and even tho he was living with another woman, I didn't want to name her as a co-respondent. Turns out that she soon got rid of him soon after.

[mara61]

Kara,
I'm in the process of taking classes myself. I just turned 39. I have an associates degree but need to take more science and math courses before I transfer to Wayne State. We are not doing loans for it, so it's when I can scrape the extra cash together. I went full time last summer with 4 online classes (that was a bit much, lol) and then this last semester I took 3 on site (Chemistry, Algebra and Biology). It's not that it's hard, it just takes a huge commitment to make sure the studying gets done. With 2 kids 9 and under, I have to really stay on top of it. My brain just doesn't work like it used to, lol.

You can do it, just go in with a plan on how to juggle everything. I tried to keep in mind all the single mom's who were working full time, with younger kids and going to school. If they could do it, so could I.

I'm hoping to take 3 more classes this fall semester. I would finally be able to transfer fall of 2013.

[Float On]

I'm 45 and would like to go back to school and work on another degree, I have a BS in Recreation. I've only got a few years before the kids are in college so will probably wait until then. I may try and take one or two classes between now and then just to brush up on math skills that I lack. I only took "Math for Liberal Arts" the first time I was in college. I have a lot of brushing up to do. Yikes!

[pinkytoe]

Tree - I am 20 yrs older than you and at this age I can look back and say I wish I had gone back to school at 38. I made excuses not to at the time because it felt so uncomfortable. To have at least tried then would have made me feel better about myself and increased my options in the ensuing years. Now, whenever I face a challenge whether outwardly or inwardly imposed, my mantra is "if you can't get out of it, get into it"!

[shadowmoss]

Khan Academy looks like an excellent way to go back and pick up math. Videos that you can pause and replay as much as necessary. I have felt left behind because I tried to take Calculus without ever having had Geometry in high school. Managed 2 semesters of Calc for my degree, but it was painful. Wish Khan Academy had been around back then.

[Float On]

Khan Academy looks like an excellent way to go back and pick up math. Videos that you can pause and replay as much as necessary. I have felt left behind because I tried to take Calculus without ever having had Geometry in high school. Managed 2 semesters of Calc for my degree, but it was painful. Wish Khan Academy had been around back then.

Good point. I've been requiring that the boys watch and practice some Khan Academy every day this summer......never thought about it for myself.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Going to school in person would add an extra hour of (rush hour of course) commute to the two hours I'm already commuting to work every day! Yea 3 hours spend in a car a day in traffic (which incidently I have already done a few times just to take a class here and there - not a degree - just career related - it's sad when you realize you have taken enough units like this ove the years to have had a degree if only they had been the right ones). It's not fun! AZ however has been advertising for California students lately. They offer online degrees where CA doesn't seem to. Sigh, sure I'd be an out of state student instead of going to the state schools I have paid taxes to all my life (and have I paid taxes, really I just sent in thousands last time). But I don't know that CA can offer me a workable plan (or much of anyone these days with the budget cuts), AZ might.

[treehugger]

I'm on my way. My application was accepted and now I have my student ID and authorization to register. I just need to make my counseling appointment and pick my first class (it won't be Algebra, not yet!).

I also found out that I may be eligible for up to 16 units of work experience credit, since my job is related to my field of study. Woohoo! When I poked around briefly last night, I saw that I probably need 34-39 units under my belt before I can transfer to a state university. Since I doubt very much that any of my Horticulture classes will be transferable, and I only had one complete semester right after high school, every unit counts.

Thanks, all, for helping with my attitude adjustment! :D

Kara

[Mrs. Hermit]

Wonderful news!

[bunnys]

Thank you for the superduper awesome pep talk! ;) Seriously though, I have received some really great advice from the other posters here, and I am beginning to be on the verge of not dreading signing up for that first class.
Kara

I wasn't trying to be a downer. I am just really direct and I've found that when people say they can't make a decision or are unsure or need some help convincing themselves that it's really code for they're afraid. Which it ok. We're all afraid from time to time. I know I have been--frequently. I've found that when I face it head on and don't mince words or call it something it really isn't the fear loses it's authority and it's easier to face and overcome.

Maybe this isn't the case with you. You sound like you're really excited about taking classes which probably means that you didn't need anyone to talk you into it to begin with.

I hope you really enjoy your upcoming academic endeavors!

[Tradd]

Treehugger, I've not read the entire thread, but I just wanted to give some advice based on my experiences over the past 3.5 years of constant study (first, an intense local theological program pretty much on par with grad school, and then the past 8 months studying for the customs brokers exam). I don't remember what your family situation is like, but you may find that studying a certain way works better than what you thought. I've been getting up very early to get an hour of studying in before going to work, rather than after work, since my brain is fried after some seriously long days. As much as I hate mornings, it works!

[treehugger]

I wasn't trying to be a downer. I am just really direct and I've found that when people say they can't make a decision or are unsure or need some help convincing themselves that it's really code for they're afraid. Which it ok. We're all afraid from time to time. I know I have been--frequently. I've found that when I face it head on and don't mince words or call it something it really isn't the fear loses it's authority and it's easier to face and overcome.

Eh, I didn't take it that you were being a downer. I honestly thought it was sorta funny that it didn't seem like you had actually read my posts. That's OK. I asked for help, and I got it. I love this place!

Kara