frugalone
7-18-12, 2:00pm
I have a close friend whose daughter just had her second child. I am invited to the christening this coming weekend.
Here's the deal. I grew up with this friend. We were best friends for two or three years in grade school, though we've known each other since age 6. In high school we drifted apart, then got back together when she married her first husband and had two children. She was my bridesmaid 25 years ago. Since then, she got married a second time, moved away, moved back. Her daughter had a daughter two years ago. I've never met the granddaughter though I have seen plenty of pictures of her on Facebook.
"Sally" and I don't get together. There's a couple reasons for this. She's always busy with her family. Also her husband and she don't have a great relationship so I'm reluctant to go their home. For two years she's been saying "you have to come and meet my granddaughter" but we've just never set anything up. Also, when her daughter was pregnant, I was invited to a shower that was HORRIBLE. I was ignored by the other guests, not seated with the family (who were the only people I knew there, BTW) and I walked out. Sally emailed me later to ask if I was ill, and apologized profusely. That's the last time I saw her.
In the meantime, we email each other on FB a lot, and I tend to think of her as my Best Friend Forever. However, I'm not sure how realistic I'm being. I mean, I haven't seen her in two years. What does that say?
I'm finding that this week, I'm pretty wiped out after the events of the past few weeks (if you read my posts, I have been through the death of three pets, my mother's hospitalization, surgery and release, and an earth-shattering email from my DB). I don't particularly enjoy children and I don't have any myself. I don't find people's grandkids interesting, to be brutally honest. I kind of don't want to go to this event.
The funny thing is, I emailed her on SAturday to tell her my mom just got out of the hospital, and to tell her we'd like to attend. She hasn't acknowledged my email. I wonder if part of it is because I told her some very personal stuff recently about some issues I had with DH, and she's thinking, "Now she wants him to come to the christening?! I don't want him there!" Yes, I know I am speculating...but she's been on FB and never said one word about my mother! She has known my mother since 1971, and frankly, I am hurt.
Is there any polite and acceptable way I can get out of this event? Would it be proper to send a card and my regrets? Would she never forgive me for not attending?
Should I reexamine my relationship with her?
Thanks for listening to this long-winded tale.
Here's the deal. I grew up with this friend. We were best friends for two or three years in grade school, though we've known each other since age 6. In high school we drifted apart, then got back together when she married her first husband and had two children. She was my bridesmaid 25 years ago. Since then, she got married a second time, moved away, moved back. Her daughter had a daughter two years ago. I've never met the granddaughter though I have seen plenty of pictures of her on Facebook.
"Sally" and I don't get together. There's a couple reasons for this. She's always busy with her family. Also her husband and she don't have a great relationship so I'm reluctant to go their home. For two years she's been saying "you have to come and meet my granddaughter" but we've just never set anything up. Also, when her daughter was pregnant, I was invited to a shower that was HORRIBLE. I was ignored by the other guests, not seated with the family (who were the only people I knew there, BTW) and I walked out. Sally emailed me later to ask if I was ill, and apologized profusely. That's the last time I saw her.
In the meantime, we email each other on FB a lot, and I tend to think of her as my Best Friend Forever. However, I'm not sure how realistic I'm being. I mean, I haven't seen her in two years. What does that say?
I'm finding that this week, I'm pretty wiped out after the events of the past few weeks (if you read my posts, I have been through the death of three pets, my mother's hospitalization, surgery and release, and an earth-shattering email from my DB). I don't particularly enjoy children and I don't have any myself. I don't find people's grandkids interesting, to be brutally honest. I kind of don't want to go to this event.
The funny thing is, I emailed her on SAturday to tell her my mom just got out of the hospital, and to tell her we'd like to attend. She hasn't acknowledged my email. I wonder if part of it is because I told her some very personal stuff recently about some issues I had with DH, and she's thinking, "Now she wants him to come to the christening?! I don't want him there!" Yes, I know I am speculating...but she's been on FB and never said one word about my mother! She has known my mother since 1971, and frankly, I am hurt.
Is there any polite and acceptable way I can get out of this event? Would it be proper to send a card and my regrets? Would she never forgive me for not attending?
Should I reexamine my relationship with her?
Thanks for listening to this long-winded tale.