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View Full Version : I don't know where my son is going to school in a few weeks.



Zoe Girl
8-8-12, 11:51pm
I have been keeping cool but I am now getting very nervous. My son went o the art school here for 2 years (his is 15). He had some bad grades that did not pull up by the end of the year. They have a very strict policy about this, however he does think his last assignment should have affected the grade that was less than a percent low. He has not had a response to his email to his guitar teacher.

We have rather accepted he probably won't go back there this year. Sometimes he is upset and other times it seems okay. Of course we knew which school we thought we were in the boundary for and today just figured out that we are NOT actually in that boundary. This means a totally different high school for him, and he had at least one friend going to the new one for him.

here's the deal, he has pretty severe anxiety. last fall he had a week when several stresses hit the family and he was not able to get to school for a week. I drove him to the school and the social worker came out to the car and my son could not stop shaking and crying even in front of him. It is REALLY scary to stay home from work because your kid is considered 'soft suicidal' and then not be able to return him to the school he finally got some comfort in. We have put lots of effort into this problem, the best answer has been medication and friends. You can't imagine the difference having friends makes. It took over a year after we moved before anyone came over to our house. Now it is possible that we are too late to get him into a school where he even knows one person. He will need to take the public bus daily, even on the first day, because my job is before and after school care in the same district and I kinda lost my lead person yesterday. That means I will be there are 615 am every day (not close to home).

Tomorrow I am going to take breaks and try to take care of many of these things. After our training in the am (this is major crunch time for us as well) I am going to make calls, go to schools, whatever I can in a short time. Maybe even get the DR to work with us on a documentation for accomodation for the anxiety. I am not even sure what is possible.

try2bfrugal
8-9-12, 12:35am
Sorry to hear about your son and the anxiety issues. I have a child with anxiety issues, too, and the number one thing that helps him is a super healthy diet with lots of vegetables and beans (for magnesium). He does best with lots of crock pot type meals like roast beef with potatoes and carrots. Nuts seem to really help, too.

We also tried to keep him involved in a lot of activities like sports and Scouts outside of school so he would have the chance to make friends. Scouts was really helpful. We also went all out on sleepovers, cook outs, pizza parties, tickets to the water park for him and a couple of friends, extra movie tickets, outings to the bowling alley - anything that helped give him a social boost. We joined clubs and did volunteer work that had family activities so he could be around us and still meet new people at the same time in safe, nonthreatening social situations.

A few of the best books we found helpful were Help for Shy People (the best!), The Shyness Breakthrough and Raising an Optimistic Child. The thing to keep in mind is that social skills can be learned just like riding a bike or playing tennis, but it is not something most kids are normally taught and not all kids make friends naturally. Once they have the social skills down pat then meeting new people isn't as scary. Just like Toastmasters helps people get over speaking in front of groups kids can be coached to improve their social skills.

Here is a link on magnesium and anxiety and depression -
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19085527

sweetana3
8-9-12, 3:45am
Zoe, I know this might be a temp fix but do they have or is there available an online school program for awhile? Perhaps not permanently but to get over the problem right now and give everyone some time ?

fidgiegirl
8-9-12, 8:22am
Zoe, at least here, most schools are eager to take on more students (it's more $$, after all). There are a handful that won't, but have you called the desired school? Perhaps it's a non-issue. I read your OP carefully and I was not sure so sorry if I missed it.

I am not sure about an online school for kids with interactional issues. I think it could slide into a battle of not ever leaving the house again, plus if he had poor grades in a bricks-and-mortar setting he is likely to have them online with no one (apart from mom) really helping to keep many tabs on him. Didn't he try online a few years ago, pre- art school?

Good luck Zoe Girl, you'll make it through this one, too . . .

Suzanne
8-9-12, 9:38am
Zoe, have you tried directly approaching the head of the school your son currently attends? It seems a little up-in-the-air to me, with your son awaiting a reply to an email he wrote to his guitar teacher! Surely it would be better for you and your son to make an appointment with the head to discuss his situation - he may scrape in?

Gardenarian
8-9-12, 7:01pm
Zoe - I'm so sorry about this situation. Your poor kid. I hope you find a school that works out for him.

Is there any chance of his going back to the art school if you explained the situation?

Zoe Girl
8-9-12, 8:13pm
wellYeah! Usually after I freakout then somethingworks out.He can go to East

After ourmeeting today that only ran 30 minutes over I called bothschools. I got messages to call back during office hours and it was office hours. However since I work for the same district I have some idea of how it is right now. I took time to just go to the new high school. It turns out he is registeredunder his dad's address which is half a block inside the boundaries!!! What luck, everyone wants to go to East so I doubt that we could have gotten him in on such short notice. We do have choice in options but in sucha large district it is hard (there are 90 elementary schools alone).

Tomorrow he goes with dad and picks his schedule out, then he will have one friend to start the year. And theschoolwas friendly. At the first table where I had my questions they helped and while I was filling things out the man came over and introduced himself as the principal. If you want to see the gorgeous historical building it is East high school in Denver Public Schools.

Gardenarian
8-9-12, 8:18pm
Oh, I'm so glad this worked out for you guys!

fidgiegirl
8-9-12, 8:57pm
Great news.

Tussiemussies
8-10-12, 1:00am
Glad for you and your son. I am sorry for him for his anxiety it must be hard on him...