employee personality

[Zoe Girl]

Howdy all, I haven't been here in awhile. We jsut had our first week back to school and we survived it! School started monday, I run before and after school care, and my 2nd staff person was able to start monday afternoon. So we are trying to get her tranining on the fly but so far so good.

She is a nice lady, moved to Denver from the midwest 2 months ago. I think she will be very competant at this. I am posting this here because it has nothing to do with her job and my supervision of her. I like to get to know my staff and some things about them personally, so i share a little too. It is not a secret that my daughter works at the movie theatre in Aurora and it was her 2nd night back at work when the shooting occured and she was in the building. Okay I don't think I said it clearly here but around work many of us were affected since it is our community. It came up in conversation when I said my daughter was not working right now because that is where she works. My staff person went right into why was the door unlocked and my son wonders if it was an inside job and something doesn't seem right because you can't get all that equipment on the internet, etc. She really wanted to know what I thought. I think I did a good job answering by saying we were letting the authorities take care of that part and i was just taking care of my daughter.

There is just something with her personality i am trying to put my finger on, once I kinda 'get' someone then I know how to manage them better. There is this cluster of traits, the first night I sat and de-briefed with her and she immediately said we needed a one-on-one for our special needs child. I have worked with this child before and honestly she has had awesome days. Then in going over the literacy curriculum she said we shouldn't use it because kids had done books before. I told her kids might have done booksbefore so feel free to get different books from the library or from my personal library. We are grant funded which means layers of accountability, therefore proven curriculum. For time outside she is already saying they need more or less, but again we have a regular schedule that helps us meet our grant requirements. I think however if I changed outside times or which playground we used she would probably still find something to point out.

I think it is questioning everything, or thinking everything is within my choice. I see this with kids more and so we go over the negotiables and non-negotiables. I have loads more traning to do with her and very limited time so I need to get the handle on her so we don't waste time or create a negative to start the year. I also notice people with these traits want to feel they have valuable things to offer but they are not very skilled in getting that need met? If you have a person close to you like this, or even if this is you, I would love to hear it. Like I said I think she will be good,..

[Miss Cellane]

Does she have any experience at this type of job? People sometimes want to "prove" themselves and show what they know at new jobs. So they can come across as pushy and not paying attention to the rules. They are usually eager to do a good job, and want to repeat some of the things that worked at their last job.

You might try giving her a copy of the approved curriculum to read. Point out that while some of her ideas may in fact be the best thing since sliced bread, the approved curriculum must be met first. Same with the grant requirements. And make sure she read the rules. Then when she comes up with ideas that simply can't be implemented, point her back to her written copies of the rules and tell her to check there first to see if her idea is even possible. Make her do that bit of work, don't just keep telling her "no." She needs to understand how your workplace operates.

Keep the lines of communication open, because she may have some great ideas you can use. But make sure she understands the guidelines you are operating under and the rules you have to follow.

[domestic goddess]

I think that she may be trying to show you that she has good ideas and can be a valuable employee, and she may be trying to understand why thngs are done the way they are. I second Miss Cellane's idea of showing her the approved curriculum and the grant requirements, so she has a better idea of how things fit together. Refer her back to that when she has suggestions or questions that clearly are answered in the material. Don't spoon feed it to her, but help her understand. Giver her credit for trying, and learn to overlook any little quirks she may have.

[Tradd]

How is her attitude? We had an accounting temp a while back who her first week got in very hot water. She was telling *everyone* (including my department) on how to do their jobs. Very arrogant. She had never been in our industry before. She had to be told to back off.

[iris lily]

Giving this employee documents that lay out the foundation of your program is an excellent idea. See what she does with that.

If she really IS eager to help and is smart enough to absorb the entire picture, she will recognize limitation that you have in making major changes. IF she ignores what you've given her and continues to badger you in making changes that she dreams up, then you pretty much have your answer.

Remember that in your brief time together YOU are the controller of the meeting agenda, and so she may not fill it up with her ideas, suggestions, issues.

After some times has elapsed where she's proven herself is following the program as outlined you can encourage her input by giving her one specific thing to plan, organize, and carry out.

[Zoe Girl]

Thank you all, I think she may be trying to prove herself. I know she took some years off work to homeschool her children and has been back 2 years working with kids. Giving her and the other employee the grant requirements is a good idea. I had some really good training ideas based on last year but did not have staff ready to go in order to implement them. One was to go over the layers of rules we follow, (childcare licensing, school district, department and grant, whew) in order to build understanding instead of tension with me as the big boss setting down all the rules.

I don't think I really get arrogrance from her however some insensitivity with the comments about the shooting at the movie theatre. i know she is pushing a button that is not her fault based on my extended family in the midwest who are filled with people who understand the one right way and very little else. Each time my mom visits I hear a story about how somebody did something wrong such as have them over to dinner and serve 3-4 dishes but not 5-6 or did not serve any meat for my dad or lets their children brush their teeth at the kitchen sink (I thought that was a great idea to make sure they actually did brush). Now I live in the city and before that in a hippy town and in the meanwhile a town where white and english only speaking was a minority. Sometimes people just really don't know that everyone does not live the same.

She totally gets a brownie point for asking why i wasn't in higher management after working with me a few days, added to the nurse, the facilities guy and one of our SES providers also making positive comments I am feeling pretty good.

[iris lily]

...I don't think I really get arrogrance from her however some insensitivity with the comments about the shooting at the movie theatre. i know she is pushing a button that is not her fault based on my extended family in the midwest who are filled with people who understand the one right way and very little else. Each time my mom visits I hear a story about how somebody did something wrong such as have them over to dinner and serve 3-4 dishes but not 5-6 or did not serve any meat for my dad or lets their children brush their teeth at the kitchen sink (I thought that was a great idea to make sure they actually did brush). Now I live in the city and before that in a hippy town and in the meanwhile a town where white and english only speaking was a minority. Sometimes people just really don't know that everyone does not live the same...

I find that in itself an odd, judgemental conclusion about people from the midwest. I wish the two of you luck in working together.

[Zoe Girl]

I am sorry Iris, It is that I deal with my family often and every time this comes up. I don't expect that she is what way from teh midwest so maybe I should take that part out, however it is the same comments that i am used to getting from my family on a regular basis. So can we leave it at a personality trait she shares with others in my family?

[redfox]

In my own life, I have noticed that whenever I find myself overly sensitive or triggered by someone's behavior, I find that it's often a mirror for myself, reflecting back those parts of myself that I would like to disown.

Example: my stepkids mom is an arrogant, punitive, know-it-all. Every time I am around her, my skin crawls. Imagine my surprise when I heard myself in a stressful circumstance sounding like an arrogant know-it-all... Oh. Right!

I still struggle to have compassion for her, but I do remember that she's a perfect teacher for me.

[Lainey]

Does she work for you, or with you? If you're her boss I wouldn't sweat it too much because she'll have to relax once you show her the lay of the land.
If's she's just a new co-worker that you're training, I'd take notes on how you're doing it - don't want to have issues with her doing the wrong thing when you're not there despite you having told her the correct way.

[ToomuchStuff]

Part of the whole shooting questions, in my opinion, is due to the news hype. There are reasons that doors can and are unlocked. Some doors are not fire doors (where typically an alarmed, emergency unlock sounds) but exit doors to remove patrons from the theaters, so they don't sneak into other movies (direct them towards the exits). These, over time (and maybe movie chains) have gone from closed, to they open them in the last 15 minutes of a movie. Also there are fire codes about locking doors, during business hours (and some about when customers are inside). These are just the ones I am aware of, and can think of, which seems to be at a loss when it comes to those who absorb all the media tells them, then ask the same questions they have heard.
I understand questioning when one is trying to learn the how and why of the rules (typically I hear, I don't understand, or why do we do this). If she is a critical thinker, then she may look at your rules and find a way to incorporate better idea's, or find a way to submit them that they would be accepted. I do fear, that she may have a control freak, personality, though. (your not doing this right, type of person)

[Zoe Girl]

Well I have been trying to post my reply and keep goofing it.

I think there is something to looking at myself when something small bugs me a lot. I don't like that much because then I fell very crappy about myself. But thinking it through I do sometimes struggle with why things are done a certain way, however I learned a long time ago to take time learning the hows and the whys before suggesting change. Not only do you understand better but you don't piss people off. I have spent the last 2 years being more abotu relationship building, and I was moved so many times that this will be my 11th school I have supervised so all those relationships are gone. This year I am starting with a different priority and that is just getting the job done to the highest standards with more authority. I started the year with no staff input so i just planned everything,

The other thing is what someone said about her feeling insecure about being valuable at her job. that one hit a chord and made me think about why in the world I would tie this to an area of the US. I am feeling I add value to my work, but I don't think my odd self feels that with family or in places I visit where I am regularly aware of being odd. So that is my issue, I am tired of having issues so I think I will just stop for awhile however (grin)

[leslieann]

Hi, ZG, I wanted to just say that your idea of providing some background to staff about where the layers of rules come from sounds good. I know that I am a person who needs to know WHY, and if I think the boss is just being whimsical about implementing "rules" that she gets to decide, I might not be as understanding as if I realize that everyone (the building, the grant, the locality or whomever) has a finger in developing rules and that you are the point person for ensuring compliance on all those levels. Anyway, it would not be about developing sympathy in your staff so much as for them to grasp that you might be the boss but you have a lot of limitations in your realm of responsibility. Or something like that.

Sounds like you are approaching this new year with good energy! Good for you.