This too shall pass? When? :)

[puglogic]

Sometimes I think there are two of me inside here. There is the logical, rational, patient, ever-optimistic me, that can see through temporary depressions and setbacks. And there is the me that rises up when someone hurts my feelings or when I feel like I simply can't do anything right. She's a drama queen (inside, never outside). Rational Me tries to intervene and point out that maybe it's just a one-time thing, or my blood sugar is low, or my hormones are out of whack, or I'm not getting enough sleep/sun/vitamin D/exercise, whatever. "This too shall pass," she says. Or tries to.

Do you ever go through these periods of time when you feel like everything's just crashing down all around you, but there's a small voice inside that just says you miiiiight be blowing things out of proportion? What do you do to take a deep breath, step back, and get on with life while "this too passes" ? LOL I have a terrible time keeping my mind in check in those moments, and can make some pretty crummy decisions if I act in the heat of the moment. Yet I find I don't know how to find my way back to serenity sometimes. Is it just me? Are there tools to speed one's return to sanity and peace?

[bunnys]

I know I'm ALWAYS blowing it out of proportion. No "might" about it. Being emotional will do that. Being emotional is what makes me human rather than an automaton. So I can't help it. But that doesn't mean it has to drive my response or define me as a person.

[pinkytoe]

All the time. With age, I have learned to know that bad periods/feelings do indeed pass. So I just sort of ride with it until a better mood takes hold. Kind of like when you have a bad cold and know you just have to let it run its course. I do think sometimes these things are purely physical, ie not eating right, not getting enough sleep. I even have a theory that when I have been exposed to a bug or might be coming down with something, it always starts with a state of feeling down.

[frugalone]

Hoo boy. I could have written your post, puglogic. I struggle with that sort of thing all the time. It requires a great deal of self-talk. I try to be nice to myself and to remember what I learned in many years of cognitive behavioral therapy. Hang in there...it does really pass. Someone very close to me told me to remember that it's just the way I'm feeling right now. Not to make decisions based on that mood, either. I'm finding that works.
Wishing you luck with this!

[citrine]

I go through that all the time! I try to center myself by praying, calling someone and running things by, listening to some relaxing music, or reading a book. Most of the time that all goes out the window if I am really emotional at that time!

[iris lily]

This won't be popular, but pre-menopause I was more roller coaster in emotions than post.

Now, post has its own set of psychological issues, but at least that roller coaster is over.

[mtnlaurel]

Here are little sayings/cliches that help me weather my internal waves:
"Feelings are just feelings"
"Do the next right thing"
"I have to act my way into right thinking"

I have to go back to the most basic of questions:
Is my blood sugar low?
Have I eaten some protein with my meals?
Am I drinking enough water?

Music helps me a lot. Fresh air helps me the most.

And lots of times I just let myself get swept away, have a good cry, take a shower and get a good night's sleep and wake up with fresh eyes the next day.

The most important thing that I am currently working on is not lashing out at others during these high stress times.
And keeping my trap shut unless I am using the communication in a constructive manner to find viable solutions.

What I really need is to find a good ACOA (Adult Child of Alcoholics) meeting and see if I can learn some tools there through that prism.
I think if you are brought up in a high stress childhood your brain gets wired to drama reaction and that sometimes ends up being my immediate go-to all the time.
It just wears me out. Many of my coping mechanisms have expired and I've got to move on to the next better ones if I'm going to stick around on this planet and be of use to others (and myself).

[puglogic]

Thanks, all. mtnlaurel, I'm ACOA as well, from a violent, high-stress childhood, which I think exacerbates things a little. Or a lot. My fight or flight reaction is really strongly wired in me, which makes me want to Handle Things Now Now Now, or its opposite, Simply Run Away Really Fast. Neither of which is the right action most of the time. And Iris Lily, I know you're right. Maybe an English novel would help absorb me during these jagged moods? :D

[SiouzQ.]

This was me all day yesterday...fortunately, I reminded myself it was most likely due to PMS, working a very busy holiday weekend so I was physically tired, had used caffeine to get through it, and I have been smoking more lately... Yep, I did it to myself in a lot of ways and I KNOW that. I have been impressed that I have been in such a good mood all summer; traditionally I usually fall into a deep funk come August, it didn't happen this year.

I do feel better today, and knowing from experience long ago in AA that "this too shall pass" does help me. Now I have to get back on track about taking care of my physical self better, which I have been doing great with for a long time by keeping things in moderation. Every once in awhile I will take back my old destructive self for a few days and go a little overboard but I am usually able to stop things before they spiral out of control. Good self care is the way I can stay off medication for my mild bi-polar 2. Eating right, sleeping enough, staying away from caffeine (this is getting tricky, because I find it really helps at work...) exercising and keeping my stressors down to a minimum usually keep me on a pretty even keel.

[Gardenarian]

Hey there puglogic -

Many times I could have written that post. What I think is, the reality we're feeling is the only reality there is.

When PMS or perimenopausal (or overtired, stressy) we may go to the dark side more than usual. But, I think some of the issues that come up for me when I'm under a cloud are actually useful. The way we see things when we are cheerful may be more pleasant but not necessarily more helpful or true than when we are in a glass-half-empty mood.

All these feelings and reactions contain potentially valuable information.

[CathyA]

Hugs to you Pug.
Lots of good suggestions here about sunshine, nutritious foods, exercise. Do you tend to get more like this in late summer/Fall? I'm just thinking maybe SAD.
Is there something that maybe is bothering you and you're not dealing with it? Sometimes we can get in horrible moods and run down, just from trying to NOT deal with something.
And as I've said ad nauseum in the past, if you are going to perimenopause, all bets are off, as far as making sense out of one's behavior! :)

Are you making sure you're doing things that you like a couple times a day? Sometimes we can get so caught up with the "must do" things, we almost forget what things make us happy.
I remember back when I was very depressed and so busy raising kids, I was seeing a counselor. She said "what things make you happy?" It took me awhile to remember!! So be sure to do some things that make you genuinely happy even if its for short perdiods of time. For me it could be something like sitting on the deck and bird watching for awhile, or taking a walk in the woods. Sometimes we get so caught up with stuff, we forget how to have pleasure!

I hope you get through this hard time soon and can feel at peace again Pug!
But you can lean on us any time!

[puglogic]

Sending you ALL hugs for being so kind and supportive (except for those who don't care for hugging, to whom I'm sending a big smile and a piece of cake)

This too shall pass, and all will be well again soon.

[Amaranth]

Agree with above posters on maximzing health to help with this.

Also f you can take one step back from the situation--like you are watching yourself on TV or in a play, see if you can use your strong reaction as another piece of useful data.

As for tools, the ones that might be most useful for what you describe could be in The Feeling Good Handbook by Burns. He has info on ways you can think that are more productive. For example feeling like you can't do anything right is a type of All or Nothing thinking. To counteract this, think about the things you did that went well throughout the day. If for example 23 things you did went reasonalbly well and two things wrong, 92% of your day went well.