View Full Version : what did you spend on your wedding? and how long did it last?
Blackdog Lin
9-22-12, 9:51pm
Another thread tonight got me thinking about the obscene amounts of money some people spend on weddings. I didn't understand it back then, and I sure don't understand it now, how people can correlate the size of a wedding celebration with the hope of a successful long-term union. (Maybe it was the Yahoo story on the Sultain of Whatever's daughter's $20-million wedding, that has this rolling around in my head).
So I'll post a little challenge, to anyone who's thinking about spending big or even moderately big-bucks on a wedding. Is it worth spending all that money/taking the chance on it being worth it? Shouldn't people be thinking simpler, smaller? Just in case?
We were young and very poor, and I got forced into getting married (nope, wasn't pregnant, just wanted to move-in-and-live-with future DH, and the family didn't take that very well). DH's parents gave us $50.00 for a wedding present, and that just covered our wedding and attendant expenses for the day. DH wore his best leisure suit (oh, the 70's!), and I happened to have a white "Sunday" dress which sufficed. The $50.00 covered all our fees for blood tests and license, with some left over for us to have a few beers at the local tavern while waiting for the blood test results. I wore my mother's wedding ring 'cause that's all that we had. We splurged on 2 polaroid wedding photos ($1.00 each! One has disapeared over the years, but I still cherish the one wedding photo that has survived.) Our "honeymoon" was a few beers with friends and back to our new apartment.
And it's now 36 years later. Our $50.00 wedding stood the course. We've been lucky.
I'm rambling here.....but y'all should chime in. Did you have a big wedding? Do you feel it was worth spending the money? Is smaller better? Or do you think that your "day of a lifetime" is/was worth that huge expense?
We got married on Halloween, perhaps our favorite holiday, and a day on which we normally had a huge party anyways.
Our wedding, and reception, were a costume/Halloween party, and the scariest thing we could thing to come as was bride and groom.
We rented the Monterey Bay Aquarium for the evening (~$5000), had the food catered by the Aquarium's kitchen for $25/head (~$2500), brought our own wine and beer ($???, but it wasn't much), hired some friends of mine who had a great surf band for $200 + free beer, and invited about 100 friends and relatives. My wife and I's surf/instro band subbed in on alternate sets. A few dollars for a marriage license, and a friend who was a minister, and we had a great party for < $100/head, in a really great location. We got married right in front of the giant kelp tank, took about 10 minutes, then on to the party.
It was a huge luxury to have the whole Aquarium to ourselves, they normally rented it out for company meetings in the evenings, and didn't know about "wedding pricing", so all-in-all we got a great deal I thought. I viewed the event mostly as a nice gift to our friends, because my wife and I love that Aquarium.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-lLSe7WrY4Kg/T62SWnZHyxI/AAAAAAAAFa0/yuPxWjmdPfA/s320/Picture_4.JPG
Tussiemussies
9-22-12, 10:35pm
We did have an expensive at that time wedding. The whole day was perfection, nothing went wrong, it all went right. I love to think back to that day so I am glad that it was a special occasion. We are married 27 years now so I think every penny was worth it. It was not like the huge splurges people do today though...
catherine
9-22-12, 11:26pm
I can't remember exactly how much we spent in 1977 (I think it was $8,000), and if I had to do it over again, I would not have done it. It was really nice, and exactly what my husband and I wanted, but true to our form, we were ridiculously hands-on, which caused us so much stress.
We were both theatre people so our wedding wasn't a ceremony, it was a performance. We literally turned and faced our family and friends in the church and recited Shakespeare. He's Scottish, so I had my bridesmaids wear his tartan which I had a heck of a time finding relatively inexpensively (I even made one of the kilts myself--don't ever try it at home...). I had tartan bows made for the cake. We chose a really beautiful mansion, but they didn't do anything accept rent out the space, so we had to get the caterers, the table dressings, the liquor, and even the logs for the fireplaces ourselves. Then we decided our first dance was going to be a waltz.. We had no idea how to waltz, and so we practiced for the 5 minutes before our first dance.
Plus, we split the cost with our families and none of us could really afford it. My mother and my mother-in-law had a horrendous fight over what their escorts wore down the aisle. I was commuting 4 hours a day to a job in Manhattan and completely misjudged the time I had available to plan the wedding. I do have some nice memories of the wedding, but not sure the good memories outweighed the terrific anxiety I had over the whole ordeal.
Our wedding was a lot bigger and more involved than either of us wanted. He wanted us to get married on a ski slope (I didn't know how to ski at the time) and I wanted an outdoor wedding at one of the ponds on the farm (too cold in February for that).......my mom got a hold of it and it suddenly got very formal and very big including a sit down dinner for 300. I never asked how much it cost.
flowerseverywhere
9-23-12, 12:03am
less than $100
DH and I eloped. I came from a violent alcoholic family who did not want me to marry him because he was not the right religion. I don't know anyone who has a more respectful and happier marriage than us after 40 years. We followed our hearts and we have no regrets.
When it came time for my kids to marry I told them I did what was right for me and I would give them a set amount of money (enough for a modest wedding) regardless of what ceremony and party they wanted. They opted for weddings, but one DIL told me she wished she had taken the money after all was said and done as they went way above their budget.
Here is the crazy thing about weddings. It is one day. You need to decide how much you want to spend, what is important to you and who you want to include. The bigger picture is the month and years after the wedding and how you will build your life together. It is not about what your parents or friends or a glossy wedding magazine thinks, but what you and your SO feel is important.
We spent about 6K for 100 or so people. Biggest expense was the venue, which was a fantastic park in Seattle, Camp Long, with cabins we rented for overnight guests, and a pony keg of root beer for the teens. My SIL catered it for just the cost of the food. We did our own invitations, rented tables, chairs, dishes & linens, & BBQ's. Next biggest expense was a local swing band, and they were hot!
We spent a very modest amount, about $150, on wedding clothes. We spent about $500 on rings & a special earring for each of our kids, that they designed, and was our gift to them as a family. DSS still has hers, DSD lost his at camp one summer. We got our vases at Goodwill, and re-donated them later that week. We sent my MIL to the Pike Place Market with $100 for flowers the morning of the wedding, and she did an beautiful job arranging them. We also spent about $100 on hand made floral crowns for each of us... They were spectacularly beautiful on both of us.
It was so much fun! Well worth the $$.
BayouGirl
9-23-12, 12:11am
I've never been one for lavish presentations and having a huge wedding would be a nightmare for me. My first wedding was a simple affair, about 100 people in a rented hall at a firehouse. Our relatives did all the food and flowers. I bought a gorgeous $1000 dress for only $99 because it was a sample and needed no alterations. My shoes where .99cents (also a sample).
My mother in law made wedding cakes and flowers for many people so I trusted hers with mine. She was so happy about our wedding and planning it. I told her what colors I liked (periwinkle and a soft purplish blue) and told her that I trusted her judgement and creativity for her to do everything however she like. I wasn't going to be a shrew demanding this and that. If they were going to do it for us then I had faith that they would do it wonderfully (and they did). My hubby and I were together 15 years and are still friends to this day.
That brings us to the upcoming wedding for BayouBoy and me. Again, I want an ultra simple occasion with no excessive expenses or stresses. I have no demands or expectations except that it be a relaxed and stressfree day. My dress will be simple and I am pretty sure BayouBoy will wear some camo. Camo is a smart choice rather than a suit because at least I know he will get some use out of the camo and wear it again (unlike a suit). As for me, my sis in law and I can both sew but likely I will just buy an off the rack dress for under a hundred dollars. The food will be whatever our loved ones want to cook. People will wear whatever they like.
I see so many over the top weddings in the news that are ridiculous. The debt and paying off the wedding lasts longer than the marriage. That's crazy. Weddings like those are a misery for all involved, an expensive misery! Give me a simple wedding any ole day.
Oh but the wedding at the aquarium sounds awesome! We went scuba diving on our honeymoon after my first wedding and we would have loved an aquarium wedding.
We are relatively newlywed... well, it'll be 5 years soon. I can't remember how much we spent, but I remember parts... The officiant was maybe $100, the park we were married in was free, DH's suit was around $100, he wore old shoes. My dress was $27 (j.crew clearance bridesmaid dress in ivory, but they didn't have a size 0, so spent $15 to get it taken in), shoes were $39. Did my own hair. Veil was $2 of tulle from the fabric store sewn on (in the car on the way to the ceremony) to kid sister's prom hairpiece. The biggest expense, dinner at a super nice restaurant afterward the ceremony, was maybe $2,000. And we didn't have a cake, but spent $40-$50 on cream puffs at a joint we found tasty in the week of vacationing with our respective families before the wedding. Sister took pics, a friend took video.
I was obligated to invite loads (and loads) of family members, but we did a destination wedding, so most of them didn't make it. DH and I made the invites, they were super creative and cute, IMO! Guest list of 175 or so, and I think we had 26 in attendance, 10 of which were us and our immediate families.
It was enough of an "event" for me to feel like our union was celebrated by family and friends, but definitely scaled back enough to not be a "crazy" wedding. Would do it again in a heartbeat. With the same wonderful guy, of course!
We just went to the courthouse to get married, no regrets about that. Both sets of parents held receptions which were ok but I could have lived without them.
If I were getting married today (well, I've got some money now, but not back then) I would do this:
* Invite people to a party, catered, at a very pretty restored victorian greenhouse
* When they are standing or sitting with cocktails and appetizers in hand say "hey folks, we are going to get married right now"
* do the deed
* then have dinner
But honestly, at the time it wasn't necessarily the cost of a shindig that held me back, it was the idea of a wed-ding looming up there in the future, having to think about it coming my way, having to plan it and talk about things like the color of napkins. Ugh. It was a distraction from the important business of marriage which itself made me uneasy. I just wanted to concentrate on the idea of marriage without having wed-ding stuff get in the way. I had already had a bout of psoriasis from ring shopping, it was too anxious-making.
First wedding was an elopement at a commercial wedding chapel, then lunch afterwards with our friends who acted as witnesses. Cost: about $250, including licenses, chapel fee, and lunch. No honeymoon, no bridal gown, and I spent about $6 on a single rose as a "bouquet." DH at the time didn't have any money, so I charged both our wedding rings on my credit card. Doh! With those not-very-auspicious beginnings, the marriage collapsed and ended eight years later.
Second wedding was my "true" wedding, but we spent about $2,500 in total, including two rings, a gorgeous wedding dress I got on sale for $400, invitations, postage, and the reception. The wedding and the reception was held for free in a local park, and it was a combination of guest-provided potluck and food catered and served by the cooking staff and students of the school DH and I were working at, at the time.
Music was a boom box run off an extension cord from someone's car battery. Flowers were from Albertson's, put together by my mother. Tablecloths were old white sheets I'd found at the Salvation Army and dyed lavender with Rit Dye. Invitations and wedding favors were bought at clearance from Wal-Mart, as were my veil and tiara. I glued fake pearls onto my veil and it looked GREAT. I couldn't find any white shoes, either, so I painted some black shoes white and stuck more fake pearls on them. Gorgeous! A photographer friend gifted us with taking photos at the wedding, and then putting together a CD photo album. I used Flickr to print out the best prints, and created tangible photo albums to send to members of the wedding party, and to certain family members who were unable to attend. Another friend also took digital pictures as his gift to us--we just provided him with the memory card for his camera, and we processed the shots ourself.
Honeymoon was two nights in Vegas, gifted to us by my maid of honor, who had a timeshare there. Since we lived only 60 miles away, we had our own car and didn't have to fly there. I would not have changed one single thing about that beautiful day, and every penny spent, and not spent, was entirely worth it. I LOVE looking at our wedding photos, and it was truly one of the happiest days of our lives.
About $500 in 1972 in Alaska. Most was for the sit down dinner for 20 friends and family at a Japanese restaurant. Married at the Army chapel by Army chaplain with one attendant. I had a simple suit made and made my own blouse. Friend wore a dress she had. Three flower things (bouquet, cake topper and attendants bouquet) an nothing else custom. Still married almost 40 years later.
In those days, the Army would not allow their guys to live off base and pay for it unless married. Husband hated being in charge of a bunch of guys living together. Plus it really saved on car insurance to be married if under 20. So those were our basic reasons to get married.
I don't remember how the numbers broke down exactly, but we spent under $5k for our wedding and our honeymoon in Alaska. Wedding was at a lovely bed and breakfast in the town where most of DH's relatives live, fairly central U.S. location. My family is scattered around the country, and our friends came from all over as well. We had about 60 guests I think, for a sit-down midday lunch (basically dinner served at lunch time, saved us a lot of money). Photographs ran about $1000 of that total cost, and the reception was most of the rest of it. Total above includes our air travel to the wedding city and 2 nights in a suite of the B&B. Clothing for both of us was around $800 including shoes (DH wore a suit, which is still the suit he uses when needed for work). Married 12 years now and have never regretted what we spent on the wedding. It served not only as a big party for our happy day but as a family reunion.
Entertaining story from our wedding: we were married by a UU minister and we worked with her to create the ceremony. Apparently a few days later, DH's very evangelical aunt asked DH's mom if she was sure that we were married, because there was no mention of God in the ceremony. Obviously she forgot that people can be married in the courthouse, no church needed...
Our trip to Alaska was fabulous and we have many fond memories of that. We used vouchers for free air travel and just had to pay for lodging and rental car.
goldensmom
9-23-12, 7:04am
I’ve never thought of a wedding in terms of a money/success ratio*. 30 years ago our wedding cost $8,000. I wanted a church wedding and a country club reception, tradition everything. My measure of tradition was that I wanted the wedding attire to look good back then and in the future as well. I am still quite satisfied with how we did it my only regret being that we left the reception too soon. I don’t plan a do over so I guess the only thing I could do is have another reception but as anniversary celebration this time and stay until the very end. I like weddings, anybodies wedding, any style, anywhere.
*My parents eloped. The wedding license was $2.00 and they were married nearly 60 years before my father died.
Wedding and honeymoon was under 5k, and we've been married for 27 years. Bought the dress on my lunch hour with a co worker tagging along, and spent a little to have it altered (hemmed up and train hacked off). No cake, just my sister and his brother as attendants. Sister made the flower arrangements (silk). Used a local music school for musicians.
I was young, and allowed myself to be influenced by my mother, even though I paid for it all myself. What I had really wanted was a cocktail reception, with a strolling violinist and waiters walking around with champagne on trays, and me in a tea length dress, in the rose garden at my college. But I allowed myself to be talked out of that, between my mother insisting there had to be a sit down meal, and hubby's family who would have been very intimidated by what I had in mind. So it was held at a country club. All kinds of things went wrong that day, meaning that the marriage could only get better after such a disaster. :laff:
Got married 4 years ago. I wanted to get married alone (well, with DH of course) on a hill, but there's this silly thing about witnesses and someone to perform the ceremony, so ended up doing it in DMIL's backyard with about 10 guests-parents and siblings only.
Under $2500 or so and only that much because 2 rings was $1000 and we paid for my sister's flights as she didn't have much money at the time and I really wanted her there. She did my hair. BIL did photos. DH's stepfather is a pastor and was nice enough to marry us, even though I'm not Christian. Each of our clothes were around $100. Then we had lunch that my DMIL had made. No drinking as the hosts are teetotalers, and I could care less about drinking. No music or dancing. After lunch, I got stung by a wasp and we went home after taking my sister to the airport. Back to our new joint apartment that was a total disaster as we'd moved in in the days prior since we didn't want to live together before marriage.
No honeymoon. DH went back to work a day later I think.
It was a really nice simple wedding, we're happily married and the only thing I would change was the getting stung by a wasp part.
Our wedding was less than $500.00 and we invited about 30 people very close to us. It was in a big log house beside the lake near our neighborhood, and the geese and ducks were the only attendants. We homebrewed a wedding beer and everyone had a mug before the ceremony, which made it quite festive. A friend who likes lavish things set up an afterparty that cost much more, but it wasn't something we would've done on our own.
A good number of those big fairytale weddings seem to be demanded by people who think they're also going to have a fairy tale marriage. If that's what they want, fine, but for us, the real celebration was finally finding each other, and the real joy was -- and is -- crafting an amazing life together through mutual respect, sometimes hard work, compromise, laughter, and patience. Throwing some big show-offy event just isn't our style. It's been about 10 years, and I'm hoping for 50 more.
Ours was just slightly over $3500 (1989).
We had lived together for seven years prior and after much pressure from dh's family finally were wed. They made all the church arrangements and had the reception in their backyard so in essence, no cost to us for anything. Yes it was nuts to have his parents plan our wedding in retrospect - I guess it was the easiest route at the time. Didn't cost us anything and made them happy.
We skipped getting married and bought a house instead. We figured having a mortgage together made us more married than a wedding would. :devil:
Several years later my partner's younger sister got married. The happy couple spent more than $80k on the wedding and honeymoon.
To each their own, I guess.
Sad Eyed Lady
9-23-12, 11:35am
We were married in 1969 and next month we will celebrate 43 years together. I don't know the dollar amount of our wedding, but I am sure it was very minimal. We were married in a little country church I had grown up in, so no charge there. I didn't want a reception, so no money spent there. For some stroke of rationality, which I wasn't normally given to at that young age, I wanted my wedding dress and attendants dresses to be from a bridal rental shop, so much smaller cost there than if we had bought them. I couldn't see spending hundreds of dollars for a dress that I would wear maybe 30 minutes to an hour! Still makes sense to me. I guess the only costs were: shoes, flowers, and an honorarium to the pastor and lady who played the wedding music. DH wore a suit he already had, and a former teacher who was into photography took some pictures for us. I guess we paid him for them, but if so I know it wasn't much. I have a couple of friends who are photographers, and engagement & wedding pictures fetch some big bucks today! So, a very inexpensive wedding for us. I think if I was doing it over today however, I would chose to elope.
SteveinMN
9-23-12, 12:23pm
We spent just under $6,000 two years ago for the wedding, a "reception" for about 200 people, and a honeymoon cruise in Europe. Being a second marriage for both of us, there was no need to hang on to that "fairy tale" meme. We had a family-only ceremony at the "reception hall" -- actually a coffeehouse we enjoy that we rented for the evening. They had a minimum food/drink charge that applied to room rental, so the room essentially was free. Our friends decorated, brought what (finger) foods the coffeehouse did not cater, we provided some wines from places we'd been that we enjoyed and a two-hour free bar, and we splurged some on a DJ I've known for years who has a weekly program at an area radio station. DW's dress was off the rack and my tuxedo (and that of my two attendants) was the least expensive Men's Wearhouse had to offer (still looked good, though); DW's attendant did buy a dress but I know she has worn it at least twice since our wedding. The rings cost a total of around $600 (sorry, deBeers, we did not engage in the escalating "rock wars"). We did not have a photographer; instead, we encouraged our friends to shoot their own pictures and video and we shared the pictures among ourselves. One night at a local motel and then off to Europe for a very memorable cruise (which stopped at several European ports of call and then crossed the Atlantic to Florida). We all had a fabulous time and even the folks at the coffeehouse and the DJ still comment on how much fun everyone was having that night. And that's exactly what we wanted -- a gathering of our family and friends to help us celebrate finding each other.
A good number of those big fairytale weddings seem to be demanded by people who think they're also going to have a fairy tale marriage. If that's what they want, fine
We've attended a few weddings of family friends' children now, both of which ended up in the low five figures. Nice events, to be sure. A little more ambience than our coffeehouse and some things we didn't have (champagne, photobooths, much larger wedding parties). But spending that much strikes as both as quite unnecessary. It would be far more appealing to us to spend most of that money on a house downpayment or on a car, if needed, or even some on vacations. For one night?? We don't get it.
DSD (who is 27) is finally serious about a guy. DW has saved up around $10,000 for her wedding (DSD also has attended many of the same five-figure events). We'll tell her that we have some money ($10,000, but I'm not sure we'll tell her that) saved for her wedding. If DSD wants to spend all of it on a horse-drawn carriage to the church and someone to throw rose petals in her path as she enters the church, that's her choice. But that's all there is from us. We've seen this kid pay for a college education and buy a car and a house. We don't think there's any way she's going to spend it all on a carriage. Money has some value to her. So we're feeling pretty okay about this.
We spent $67 on our wedding, which was the cost of the marriage license. A sweet old pastor at a church down the street from us performed the ceremony for free.
Hubby and I spent about $200 on our wedding. We decided on Wednesday that we would be married that Saturday! We'd been dating only four months. Since it was so soon, my parents actually missed the wedding. They said if we moved it back two weeks, they'd be happy to come, but dh and I had made up our minds. Turns out, for a few years we were banned from the family. Ah well, they came to love dh over the years.
I am sure everyone thought we were expecting with the seemingly shotgun wedding. Must have been bets made as to how soon a baby would come. We showed them, dd didn't arrive until almost two years later!
We had a friend who was a minister, the family did a pot-luck, I wore a dress I already had and dh borrowed a suit from his uncle. My ring was a mother's ring from my MIL that only had four stones on it, and she had five kids - so I paid the jeweler to take the band off, and used it. Not too many pictures were taken, but there are a few that survive.
Would I do it again - absolutely, and exactly the same way! Our 30th anniversary is less than a month away, and we hope for many more years together.
Only costs way back in 1964---minister, license, little hat veil for me (dress I owned, DH in suit he owned), coffee and a few drinks back at my parents.
And it was as the old saying goes shotgun, but it was not needed we were both more then willing it was just sooner then we had been planning...lol...Only people present were parents and siblings and two friends...........and it last till 2011 when "Death did us part".
I forget to add an engagement ring that I had but had never told anyone $250.00 a very lot of money in 1964 but, the jeweller knew DH and he throw in a beautiful gold charm bracelet with a heart charm.
Two gold rings for a grand total of $45.00
Ha ha...we put off getting married for a while. I came from a family of strivers who were competing with others in their circle to put on the biggest dos all the time. When our richie-rich neighbors' son got married, they threw the part of the century for the engagement alone! God knows what that wedding cost! (We weren't invited to that...)
If my parents hadn't died before I met my husband, I'm sure they would have dropped $20k on our wedding without batting an eye. I was so enmeshed in their values for years - and I simply didn't know there was another way. Hubby and I kept putting off getting hitched - we thought it would be too expensive. One day we just decided to do it on the cheap. The officiator's fee was $100, and we spent some money on cake and cider and gas for the car to drive to the park where the "ceremony" was held. Easy! And definitely my kind of thing, but I always felt I had deprived my hubby of the big party he would have liked to have.
We didn't have a honeymoon either. But it's never too late!
We were married in 1969 ...
Unless your avatar picture is 20 years old, you must have gotten married when you were 12
Oh, gosh...let me think...OK, we've been married nearly a quarter century now. I wanted a modest wedding. Reception was held at the local American Legion hall, and chicken dinners were served for $20 a plate (bar bill included). Hired a DJ (awful; maybe $100?) and photographer (again, awful, never paid for the full set of prints 'cause the pictures stink) and videographer ($100). I paid $125 for my veil (bought the tulle myself and a cap and had woman make it for me). Our dresses were made by a seamstress. Mine is extremely plain and was made of satin and tulle and is tea-length. It was less than the veil. The bridesmaids' dresses were inexpensive as well. Their headdresses were $30 and they wore $5 shoes from KMart that matched the dresses. My shoes were $5 (believe it or not). Flowers were a bit expensive but my mom paid for them. We used some of our wedding gifts to pay for the honeymoon (about $800).
I had everything I wanted that day. Most of all, I had my husband. ;)
Gardenarian
9-24-12, 3:23pm
We were married at San Francisco City Hall. It was lovely; I never regretted not having a "real" wedding. It felt very special to me.
Lately I've seen some gorgeous wedding cakes, and I've been thinking that it would be nice to have a 25th anniversar party (in 3 years) and have a wedding cake.
I can't remember the cost exactly......I think around $4,000. We had lived together for 5 years before we were married, and owned our home together. We got married in our living room. We used the chaplain from the hospital that DH and I worked at. We rented chairs and dishes, tables and a big tent. We had about 40 friends and family. We got all the food from a caterer, but the mothers took care of heating things up and serving it. We had a string quartet play before, and after the wedding. My dress was about $50. We had a nice 3 tier poppy seed cake and beautiful flowers everywhere. One of the string quartet players said it was the nicest home wedding she'd been to. At the time, it seemed very simple, yet there was lots of great food, beautiful music, flowers. Everyone had a good time. Even our dog, Kimo.
I have been hoping that my DD will choose to elope -if- she ever gets married. But recently she said she'd like to have a wedding here. It feels good that she likes our little home and property so much. But DANG..........its alot of work to have a wedding here! :)
I think its pretty common to spend way too much on a wedding...........especially these days when you're expected to serve a big sit-down meal, have an open bar, band, etc., etc. Its not what I would choose. It was hard enough for me to have this little wedding at home.
Sad Eyed Lady
9-24-12, 5:52pm
[QUOTE=catherine;102457]Unless your avatar picture is 20 years old, you must have gotten married when you were 12[/QUOTE
Actually Catherine, I was young when I married - just 18. Looking back I realize I was still a child, but at the time I felt as grown up as I would ever be. (Or so I thought). The avatar picture is about 2 years old - I will be facing 61 in October.
Blackdog Lin
9-24-12, 8:34pm
Wonderful stories from everyone. It sounds like all on here are happy with the amount they spent on their wedding, whether lower or higher.
I just don't have the mindset for the spending of much money on a one-day celebration, that might just end up as a divorce statistic. Just the way my Simple Living lifestyle has evolved over the years, I guess.....(or maybe I'm just too cynical)..... :)
I spent $50 to have a dress made, DH already had his suit, he spent $20 on wedding rings, ministers and marriage licence fee, gorgeous cake from my summer work setting, my parents paid for a local photographer who wasn't expensive and we got married in my parents home so mom and dad supplied the turkey dinner for about 20 friends and neighbours. Our honeymoon was about a weeklong trip to meet his family across the country. Total was well under $500 and we are still going strong 47 years later.
We spent under $500 on our US wedding -- something like $25 for the license, $150 for our rings, $120 for my dress (off the rack from a department store), $25 for parking (didn't want to walk a long way in the snow in my new dress), and $150 for lunch for us and our four guests after. We got married at the courthouse on New Year's Eve, 1996. It was kind of a rushed decision -- we got the marriage license a couple of weeks before, but didn't set the date until after Christmas because that was when I looked at my tax estimate and figured out getting married would save us something like $4000 in income tax.
About 6 months later we had a huge wedding party in my DH's hometown. That was a real extravaganza, complete with local news crew (international marriages were pretty rare then) and famous local musicians (my DH's friends). That whole thing cost about $200 after you applied the cash gifts we got from people. My SILs were offended that we didn't make back the full cost, and then some, but we thought we did pretty good. There was so much food left over from the dinner I don't think we cooked for a week.
lhamo
4 k, and we'll be 10 years in October. We were together 5 years before that. I would have been happy with a license and JoP, but my family and DH wanted a wedding. My parents and his parents paid for most of it. DH and I bought our own rings. Mine was more expensive. LOL
try2bfrugal
9-25-12, 1:18am
We were married at a courthouse. I bought a new dress. A coworker bought me flowers. Our friends came over with beer that afternoon. I guess we just paid for the license and dress, so not much. We bought a house the next month so that was our splurge.
I will be married in 18 days!!
I was given a set amount from my parents and we used that to buy a house, renovate it, get a fence, and central air. Our wedding will be $20K and honeymoon $10K (hubby to be is paying that). Everything is paid for and we will start the married life with enough to cover a new roof when that comes up!
Congratulations, citrine! That's a great start!
We got married in June of this year. It was just over $1000. We were married by Elvis at an Elvis festival. My dress was $100. We took family who attended to a nice resort for lunch afterward ($400) and we spent our wedding night at a really nice inn that was a real splurge for us ($350). We paid $75 for the service and tipped the officiant $50. I bought a hair clip and a new bra for the backless dress... My ring was from ebay for about $80 and his from a second hand shop for $25. I think we spent another $80 having them both resized. The license was $30 or so.
That was it. Very simple but loads of fun.
We paid whatever the charge was in NYC to be married by the county clerk. So--subway ride to the courthouse, about $1.25 each way per perso in those days, 20 years ago. I came from work, and we got hot dogs from a street vendor and both returned to our jobs. Then walked to Central Park to watch the squirrels in the Shakespeare garden, then walked to an ordinary Italian restaurant for dinner and to Mostly Mozart at Lincoln Center (free in those days). A great day.
treehugger
9-26-12, 1:17pm
Less than $1K for the ceremony, clothes, license, and 2 parties (one with immediate family only after the courthouse wedding; one large backyard pool party 2 weeks later) in 1996. I planned my wedding in 3 weeks, all by myself, long distance (we live in the Bay Area and got married in South Lake Tahoe), *pre-internet*! :) I had to use a phone book and basically pick a bakery and florist at random.
My first job was with a caterer (worked there from age 15 to age 18), so, by the time we had decided to get married, I had very clear views of what I did and didn't want, since I had worked so many weddings. That led me to the 3-week planning period decision, as well as not allowing anyone to help (mom, mom-in-law, etc.). Much less drama and stress that way. And no time for anyone to throw me a shower, which I absolutely didn't want, either.
16 years later, I am still completely happy with how things turned out. I loved my small, low key wedding, and somewhat bigger, low key reception. Oh, and the marriage is still good, too. :)
Kara
Ha ha, that makes me feel so much better, our photographs were terrible too! It was so disappointing - although now we think they're funny. We both look stressed out and angry, though we really enjoyed the day. Our friend who took the pictures was a passive-aggressive jerk, and I think he got some kind of weird kick out of messing up his part of the day for us. He behaved like he didn't even want to be there, and his girlfriend kept sighing and rolling her eyes. We cut them both off eventually, but I wish we had done it before the wedding!
It really was kind of a strange experience...the officiator (non-denominational) kept asking: "So where are the bridesmaids?" Kind of a perv. He was cheap though.
Hired a DJ (awful; maybe $100?) and photographer (again, awful, never paid for the full set of prints 'cause the pictures stink) and videographer ($100).
I'll be getting married sometime next year. :D After having been to a friend's lavish wedding this summer, we're both very certain that we do not want anything like that. Very formal, expensive and over-bearing for us; not our style. We then attended another that was very simple, homemade and relaxed... much more our style. So we're taking inspiration from other people's weddings.
We don't have anything planned yet, but the general idea is low-key, simple and as inexpensive as possible. We'll probably get married in a registry office (there are some beautiful ones here that don't look like an office interior, believe it or not) and then having a reception with homemade food, games and maybe music/dancing. The most expensive thing will probably be a venue for the reception.
I've already got my dress which cost me $80 in a sale. It's white and was advertised as a prom dress, but it looks very bridal. No wonder it was on sale... what crazy person wants to wear a bridal dress to their prom? I'm even more pleased with it because it's made of dye-able material, so I can colour it and wear it again :)
I really enjoy reading about all your experiences and being reminded that bigger and pricier does not equal better.
Wildflower
9-29-12, 12:16am
We had the most simple wedding 37 years ago. He was 19, I was 17, and madly in love. We met in high school and were inseperable. Of course, our parents were against our relationship which just made us want to be together even more...
We got married right after I graduated high school. We were married in the Pastor's study/office with just our best man, maid of honor, and parents there. Afterwards, my parents held a reception for us at their house. We just had a wedding cake, mints, nuts, and punch at the reception. I wore a pretty dress, hippie style, with flowers in my hair. DH wore a nice suit that he already had. The reception went on for hours, with friends, relatives, and neighbors. We really all had a great time. I don't think more than $100 was spent...
And they said "it wouldn't last", but it has! ;)
I think weddings are like restaurants--the most modest and unassuming often produce the best results.
Blackdog Lin
9-29-12, 9:12pm
Jane: yes. I think you've nailed the point I was trying to make. That spending big bucks on a wedding is at best a 50/50 proposition, and therefore not necessarily worth the money.
And therefore why would anyone spend the money on a huge extravaganza, when the odds are even that it will turn out to be a HUGE waste of money?
My wedding probably cost a couple of hundred bucks on the wedding itself (maybe less) as it was one of those package deals that including everything in Vegas. It was actucally very tasteful in a cute little chapel (no Flying Elviis to preform the ceremony) and very easy. The one-price-for-all included everything for the wedding cerwmony including flowers, bouquet. license, etc... - everything!. Even includied a limo driver who picked us up at the hotel, took us to the court house to get the license, took us to the chapel (which had a nice room where I could put on my dress and get fixed up so DH didn't "see" me until I walked down the ailse) and then back to the hotel (with champagne and stuff in the room) afterwards. My Mom and Dad were our only guests and they paid for it. My Mom brought me an inexpensive, but cute, wedding dress. Very simple and basic. From Sears I think. probably cost under $50.
However, because both DH (now ex-dh after 17 years married and 20 together) and I were in the Coast Guard on ships in different parts of the country (the reason we opted to get married in Vegas) we had to meet up there. I flew from my unit in Maine, and he rode his motorcycle from his unit in New Orleans. We then spent 3 weeks (honeymoon) riding back to New Orleans on his motorcycle and then I flew back to Maine from there. So the flights were quit expensive.
Also, good Old Uncle Sam (and you dear taxpayers) had to pay a whoppingly huge amount to send a helicopter about 100 miles out to sea to pluck me off my ship (and bring in a replacement) and take me to Boston Airport so I would actually make it to my wedding :-)! We were suppose to be in port but got called out a few weeks before and didn't make it back in time.
Then DH and I had a very simple second service in Maine for friends and his family the next time we got together (months later). It was at an outdoor chapel in the woods near Owls Head, Maine. Very cool and didn't cost a thing!
Jane: yes. I think you've nailed the point I was trying to make. That spending big bucks on a wedding is at best a 50/50 proposition, and therefore not necessarily worth the money.
And therefore why would anyone spend the money on a huge extravaganza, when the odds are even that it will turn out to be a HUGE waste of money?
Yeah I imagine it would be terrible to spend a huge a,mount of money on a wedding and then have the marriage end a year or so later. I personally have never gotten the whole wedding thing. My dream wedding would be exactly like JFK Jrs. wedding - a nice simple inexpensive dress, an old church, a couple of friends or family, a simple ceremopny and then that's it! One of my friends had a great wedding in Hawaii (on Kauai). A package deal that included a week at a great waterfront hotel, a simple ocean front traditional Hawiian ceremony, a celebratory dinner and champagne. What I'd do if I ever got married again.
I wished we were wiser then about our wedding; we don't even celebrate it; we got married at dh's family church since his family was more religious; we had to invite the whole town because his parents were big in the community; i wanted a simple song I had liked; the woman who usually played at the church refused to play the piano; organ only; so dh's mother said an aquantaince could play; she showed up late; played the song off key; no time for my sister to warm up; so of course her voice broke on the high notes; dh's mother DID NOT like my dress; it was in the 80's i bought it off the rack at a department store; a light pink champagne; lace;knee length with a vale that i had a seamstress make; my parents were supposed to bring the champagne; thats all they needed to do; my mother had a fit on the day i was getting ready as we didn't stop at Kmart; so all the pictures of her show her mad millie face; my mil insisted on making some of the food; then was so overwhelmed the next day; dh hates our pictures as he was 50 pounds heavier; i thought he looked fine; mil found someone who could take pictures; she has one of us on her piano; my eyes are half closed; neither her or fil smiled for photos; we worked our asses off getting the reception ready for the whole town; we spent a total of 2500 dollars for 140 people; which included a dj;
but the best part was we spent another 2500 on our honeymoon; it was great! two whole weeks; we really enjoyed ourselves
i told dh i would like to renew our vows at the waciest chapel in vegas; he can be in a crushed velvet tux; we would play elvis as i walked down the aisle; hasn't happened; too wacky for dh
but you live and you learn; i had to laugh when colored wedding dresses were in vogue later
i donated my dress; no attachment at all
just had to post this; i can't believe what they/the parents spend now; my nephew had a bus so people could go to the reception; why people couldn't drive i don't know; but hey who am i to judge
it would be great if people spent more time and money to figure out if they are compatable; the divorce settlement; all that suffering
anyway we are still together; oh one more thing; mil wanted dh to marry her best friends daughter; dh said she was the "town whore"!:laff: too crazy
San Onofre Guy
10-5-12, 2:20pm
My first wedding in 1992 cost $7,000 which included open bar and buffet for 90 people and this included new dress and tux and honeymoon cruise. I knew the banquet manager and got the reception for cost.'
Second wedding justice of the peace I think $60 at the courthouse and $120 for dinner with my kids after.
SAVERSgirl
10-20-12, 8:32pm
I got married 3 years ago and we spent around $5000, which included the honeymoon. The most we spent on was food, which was catered by Whole Foods for around $1200 and my dress and veil for about $1000. The stuff we cheaped out on where 3 cakes from Costco for $60 (two wedding and one grooms), silver rings for $80 instead of gold and no alcohol. We had no alcohol because the reception was at the church's Parish Hall (which only cost $100 to rent for the day,) plus we are not drinkers anyway.
We went the cheap route as well, about $1000 for the wedding itself, $500 for clothing, $100 for the rings and the funny thing is: it was an awesome day. It had been raining days before the wedding day and they had forecast that even on our wedding day it would rain. But it didn't, it was a gorgeous day and if someone pushed a button, at the end of the day when everybody went home it started to rain. Afterwards we went on a 3 weeks honeymoon in France (Bordeaux) and although that had cost us a bit more (about $2700) I still feel homesick when I think about that vacation.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.