View Full Version : is this a bit mean/about ex
So I went through my phone messages and cleared them out. I generally see who is calling and just call them back so I build up some messages by not listening, just returning calls.
In any case today i went through and one was a collection call for my ex husband. It just said if I was not him to hang up, I know that is collection. Then sometime today I went and sat on a chair we bought together. I recall it because I ended up leaving the store in tears at one point. We had a budget and he not only wanted to spend more but called the chair I like a peice of crap in front of the salesperson, just acted badly in general. I did go back another time and buy the chair I liked and was in our budget, and I have it 10+years later. I have also had a couple bounced checks and some late payments on the child support (I take care of all the kids full time).
Since our divorce he wanted pretty much none of the furniture. It was all crap in his mind anyway. He has gone out and bought everything new and now also has a very nice house, fancy car, all of what he deserved. He also got laid off and hired back contract for a very good hourly rate. However it is obvious he is above his means. This is pretty much the way he lives.
He HAS done some very nice things to help our older kids lately. I will give honest credit for that. But I am also eternally grateful to be out of that marriage. Now my job is to keep looking for better employment so that I am fine without child support or a reduced amount if it comes to that. I have a much simpler and at the edge a bit lifestyle, but at least I am assured that when I get to living wage range I will be fine. To earn as much as he does and still have collection calls has got to be very scary.
try2bfrugal
10-6-12, 6:30pm
Long term you will be happier not having to live with someone who thinks he can buy happiness by spending more than he makes on consumer goods. Good luck on your quest for better employment.
rosarugosa
10-6-12, 8:07pm
I don't see any meaness here - it looks like you're just reflecting on the "live on less than you make" principle of personal finance, which is one of the most critical principles of all. Just because your ex is the one offering the object lesson in not following that principle, doesn't make it your fault. I say good for you!
Not mean at all. Maybe you are simply processing the grace of no longer being part of all that.
SteveinMN
10-6-12, 11:21pm
I wouldn't say 'mean'. Really, I feel kind of sorry for him. Money can do a lot, but it really can't buy happiness. And if he's over his head in debt, even his stuff isn't keeping him happy.
I've long been fond of Christopher Morley's observation "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Some of us are less troubled by financial obligations than others, it seems.
I wouldn't say it is mean. I tend to feel sorry for those who don't know what the true value of the things in our lives. I feel bad that they put a monetary value on things and overlook the simple joy that some of the most inexpensive or free things bring to our lives.
I once dated a man like that.He always wanted the newest, the biggest, the brightest. But newer, bigger and brighter things are constantly being produced and it is an endless and exhausting cycle to try to stay on on top. He left me in debt bit it was well worth it to be rid of him.
Ok, I fully admit to being mean when I laughed my butt off when I came across this little article about him. He is the owner of the truck in this story.
http://www.thesttammanynews.com/news/article_39e095c6-835f-11e1-9b1c-0019bb2963f4.html
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=975&d=1349650538
I read the article, I feel bad still. Poro guy, the article really talked about how defeated he looked.
I would wonder, his buddy must be some kinda fool. I did the back up to a boat trailer at 16. Not sure how you mess that one up.
Well I got money caught up from ex, still wish I didn't need it.
BayouGirl, that happens about twice a year here on on our lakes. The latest one claimed it was an accident but I think they determined she was trying to avoid having her 'stuff' repossessed and drove it into the lake.
Zoe, glad he got caught up on payments. I admire that you said you wished you didn't need it.
rodeosweetheart
10-9-12, 12:40pm
Just a thought--Float, does this posting of news stories with real names of exes abide by the rules of posting? I would feel awful if someone posted information with my real name like this, and exposed me to more ridicule.
Just a thought--Float, does this posting of news stories with real names of exes abide by the rules of posting? I would feel awful if someone posted information with my real name like this, and exposed me to more ridicule.
They actually mixed up both names in the article. They switched their first names and last names. But I know who they were talking about.
But if any of this violates any rules then I honestly apologize and ask for it to be deleted.
rodeosweetheart
10-9-12, 4:45pm
Hi Bayou, hope I did not make you feel bad--it's probably not a violation, since it's a news story! Sorry, I just thought hey, I would not want my name out there with all the dumb things I do/have done/will do in future, LOL
Rodeo, you didn't make me feel bad, I was worried I had offended you by appearing mean spirited. But the back story is that I spent $8000 saving his life. He would have died if I had not insisted he keep going to the ER where they kept telling him he just had a kidney stone. In reality he had a incredibly dangerous and rare life threatening kidney/blood infection that almost killed him.
The icing on the cake was his psycho mom who called the cops and tried to have me arrested for trying to kill him with this infection. Luckily the cops were well acquainted with her delusional conspiracy theories.
It was worth losing $8000 to get away from that relationship (and his mom) and to find the true love of my life shortly thereafter. Sometimes you have to go thru the craziest stuff to get to the best things in your life. It's even better if it becomes a favorite funny story with your best friends. If you have a friend who can turn a catastrophe into a hilarious anecdote then that friend is a keeper. Thank God I have a friend like that.
I'll ask, I'm a bit new to being a mod and didn't even think about that.
Zoe, You don't sound mean at all.
Never feel bad about receiving child support. It's for the children. They deserve this at least from their father. I admire your willingness to reflect carefully on all these issues.
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