Replacing stuff

[pinkytoe]

We returned from a two week vacation last week and I realized when we got home how "worn" so many of our possessions are. Everything from flatware to pillows to the sofa - even my car. It didn't help that while away we stayed at my brother and sil's house where everything is in tip-top shape and of the highest quality. We have spent so many years being "simple" - living below our means, buying used, growing our savings, etc that many of our physical possessions are looking shabby now. Yes, they are still functional so I am conflicted about replacing them. In complete opposition to my usual way of acquiring things, I ordered some new (and beautiful) flatware last week. I justified the purchase by thinking it is something I look at and touch everyday so it would be nice to have something beautiful for a change. Bad me...as a simple liver, do you struggle with the "wants"?

[Sad Eyed Lady]

We returned from a two week vacation last week and I realized when we got home how "worn" so many of our possessions are. Everything from flatware to pillows to the sofa - even my car. It didn't help that while away we stayed at my brother and sil's house where everything is in tip-top shape and of the highest quality. We have spent so many years being "simple" - living below our means, buying used, growing our savings, etc that many of our physical possessions are looking shabby now. Yes, they are still functional so I am conflicted about replacing them. In complete opposition to my usual way of acquiring things, I ordered some new (and beautiful) flatware last week. I justified the purchase by thinking it is something I look at and touch everyday so it would be nice to have something beautiful for a change. Bad me...as a simple liver, do you struggle with the "wants"?
I could have written this word for word except I don't have a brother! lol! However, I feel the same way and I think it comes from so many years of conditioning of living simple, reduce/reuse/recycle, etc. that it is hard for us to change this mindset even if we want to. I also think that the feeling comes sometimes from seeing ourselves, (and our possessions), through another's eyes. That usually passes and I am much more content with my simple way of living because it truly is "me", not just something I am trying on for awhile.

[Jilly]

I do not think that having beauty around you, however you define that, is in any conflict with living simply or being frugal. If we can afford something that brings grace into our lives and a lift to our heart, then that can only be a good thing. It is for me.

I guess that it helps that I am not influenced by what other people have or think about what I have, or do not have. I am not sure if that was a choice at some time in the past or if I just never gave a rip.

I like what you wrote, Sad Eyed Lady, about finding contentment with being just yourself. Makes life sweeter.

[pinkytoe]

I know that with time the memories of my brother's lifestyle will disappear and I will get over this desire for NEW. This is a man whose wife is having the wood floors redone for the third time because the shade isn't exactly what she wanted. Still, I have always appreciated things of beauty and quality and will keep my eyes open for replacements - but they will have to be a deal cause that's just my nature.

[BayouGirl]

I prefer sentiment, simplicity and things that don't cause me to go into debt. I have little need for trendy, flashy, expensive or "the best". Those who want the best or the newest are simply on a never-ending path of trying to stay ahead of everyone and buying things where debt they cost lasts longer than the the amount of time that they make you happy. If you are buying something that will be used well for many years and will bring you daily joy (like flatware), that sounds reasonable.

Sure, replace things occasionally if you find something that really strikes your fancy or if you need it. But don't let that be a lifelong quest or judge the value of possessions simply compared to others. If I want something, I think about it carefully, look around and usually find what I need at a price I am quite happy with. I don't make expensive impulse purchases. Sounds like you are handling things just fine with the balancing needs and wants and the occasional splurge for a good reason.

[redfox]

First of all, DON'T call yourself bad! Having beauty & grace in our lives is a part of being human. It can be had without spending a lot... And if you're really sick of your posessions, pare them down. Keep an eye out for replacements, and take the time to find simple, beautiful things you like.

[SteveinMN]

if you're really sick of your posessions, pare them down. Keep an eye out for replacements, and take the time to find simple, beautiful things you like.
I guess I'm lucky because my eyes can filter things out readily. Someone walking into our house probably would notice that much of the furniture is not pristine. That the car has the dings vehicles acquire by being used as pickup trucks. That my jeans are faded and not creased to a fare-the-well. This would bother lots of people. Not me. The Japanese have a esthetic philosophy called "wabi-sabi" which honors the imperfections which accumulate with age.

I tend to be a very careful buyer. Some would say I overanalyze things. :|( But when I buy something, I've done my research. I know what functions I need and want it to do, and, if there's a choice in the matter, that it appeals to my sense of esthetic and is -- if not a pleasure to use -- at least not a pain to use. As a result, I keep stuff for a very long time. My first microwave oven lasted 22 years before it died irreparably and I had to replace it. I still have the same flatware with which I moved out of my house (almost 30 year ago). So I don't get too many "wants". I still tend to like what I have. Woe is my wife, who does not share my enthusiasm for the tried-and-true. :)

[rosarugosa]

I have no problem with replacing something on aesthetic grounds. I think that's a valid choice if you can afford it, and if you really dislike looking at or using the old whatever. It's probably a poor choice to replace something that satisfies you and your household members because you're concerned that someone else might find it shabby. Our house has an eclectic mix of old and new. Some old worn things have a patina that is pretty cool, but other things do just get worn out and shabby. I have my grandmother's silverplate, and I'll probably never buy flatware, but I've certainly replaced plenty of things over the years because they were too worn for my taste. I guess the key is to really think about it and decide if the expenditure is worth it to you.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Yes, my philosophy is to live with it. :) Or basically if I think of buying a new item not because of functionality but ONLY because of how old it looks, I really think about the cost to the planet etc., and I generally don't really want it then! I mean I'm not always wearing total rag bag clothes, I'll look reasonbly presentable in my personal appearance, but we're talking household stuff here. I'd rather a forrest somewhere not be cut down than new wooden furniture. I'd rather spend more time somewhere beautiful outdoors and make sure to take more vacation then inside obsessing about something being imperfect (it is interesting you just got back from vacation ..... maybe what you REALLY want is just to still be on vacation!! That's the real change of scenery you want and not your stuff - of course I may only be speaking of me here).


We returned from a two week vacation last week and I realized when we got home how "worn" so many of our possessions are. Everything from flatware to pillows to the sofa - even my car.

There are alternatives here to buying new. Like the house, maybe just bringing in or buying some flowers will brighten it up and add something (I like sunflowers). Or a few permanent houseplants. It's not buying all new stuff. Maybe just rearranging the furniture will change how it feels (add space). For the car maybe just having it cleaned, like even a FULL cleaning (what they call "detailing") will make you like it better. If a few small dents or scratches or something are what seem shabby on the car maybe having them fixed is worth it, it certainly beats buying a new car, it's loving what you have :~)

[larknm]

Beauty is my main value in life that I'm aware of and may well be DH's too. Fortunately, we don't buy things to make that happen--we can't afford it now. We get it from the sky and woods and watching the creative things our dogs do (like eat Juniper berries off the bushes in this beginning-winter season (after years of their doing this I found out that juniper berries are recommended by our herb store for the worst allergies in this area, which last for months), see how fast the clouds are moving, listen to the birds or beautiful music on the radio we've had for 20 years. We get into the rocks we hike on, and the boulders we walk beside. The wildlife tracks in the snow or, after a rain, the soft dirt. The way one dog sleeps with his chin on the other's back, the way one dog looks flirty at us, The unconsious dignity aging has lent our used-looking appearances. The sound of our ancient clock that rings on the quarter hours and tolls the new hours. All these things we never get tired of, and the other senses are involved too, like the scent of pinon and juniper, the feel of our 10-year-old bird's back and her warm little feet standing on our hands.

The one exception is we bought last year a comforter (our house is leaky and cold) and the beauty of it is the crackly sounWed its covering still makes after one winter and the rest of the year (it gets cold here at night even in summer). We bought it for its spectacular warmth, but the beauty of the sound it makes when we turn over is really valuable to us too.

[bunnys]

I have some Oneida flatware that I inherited when my mother died. I have one set I bought myself that I like the design and then this set. I use all the ones in myu drawer that I like before I start using the ones I dislike. Then I do a load of dishes and start the process over again.

I don't like using that flatware and there are several other examples like that in my life. I should get rid of the flatware I don't like and get something new that I do like but it seems like there's always somewhere else I could put the money--or not spend it at all.

I don't think there's anything wrong with replacing something in your life if it looks bad or you flat out don't like it.

I think the example of your SIL perfectly illustrates what I would never do. That sounds extravagant and wasteful. I would have been more careful the first time I chose a color for my floors.

[nswef]

bunnys, sometimes getting rid of just what you don't like and NOT replacing it gives you the same satisfaction as replacing it. You have flatware you like so I'd just get rid of the other, keep what you like and do dishes more often....Just an idea.

[rosarugosa]

nswef: I'm trying to do that with clothes.

[AmeliaJane]

What you call wear, the antiques world calls patina :)!

In all seriousness, the point of simple living isn't to be an ascetic, it's to make best use of your resources so you can create financial security and then have the maximum leftover for whatever you want, whether it's traveling, or at-home parenting, or art collecting! Personally, I am a total homebody and I like having a pleasing apartment to come home to. So I do plan to spend a few hundred dollars a year on my place. Other people might put that towards other things.

So in your place, I might wait a few weeks to see if you really care, or if it's vacationitis. Then, as nswef suggested, you might try getting rid of things you don't like, and seeing if you miss them. Getting rid of clutter, rearranging and deep-cleaning can really help too. Then if you still feel the need for a better-condition whatever and can afford it, I say go ahead. Also, I like to do my "home projects" around Christmas or a birthday, which makes them seem special.

[pinkytoe]

My new flatware arrived and I am in awe; don't laugh, it is a thing of beauty and I have no regrets. 80/10 stainless so should look good for years. And of a classic and balanced design. I think a good deep cleaning and purge will help with what remains of vacationitis. I actually feel sorry for my brother. He is almost 70 and still working a lot - I guess parrtially so his wife can keep re-decorating their multiple houses.

[BayouGirl]

My new flatware arrived and I am in awe; don't laugh, it is a thing of beauty and I have no regrets. 80/10 stainless so should look good for years. And of a classic and balanced design. I think a good deep cleaning and purge will help with what remains of vacationitis. I actually feel sorry for my brother. He is almost 70 and still working a lot - I guess partially so his wife can keep re-decorating their multiple houses.

I feel bad for your brother too. But i also know people who spend thousands on things are in debt and still aren't satisfied and never will be. Seems like a rather unsatisfying existence which I guess is why I have rebelled and gone for the simple life. But I guess those who live the fancy, indebted life may feel sorry for me, thinking that I am missing out of things in life. To each his own, I guess.