Chronically Sleepy

[pcooley]

Is there anyone else out there who just seems chronically sleepy?

I've been this way for many years, and I'm tired of it -- pun intended.

My wife thinks it's a health issue, but my doctor agrees with me that I just don't get enough sleep.

My wife usually goes to sleep around 7:30 or 8:00 and wakes up at 4:00. I usually wake up with her and go running while she does her morning routine.

That's fine, but I have to get my children to sleep, and they have a lot more energy than I do at 8:00 p.m.

I usually don't get to sleep until 9 or 10.

I wake up tired, and by mid-morning, I feel like I could use a nap. By the afternoon, I'm yawning constantly, and what's really bad is I'm some tired I feel extremely angry. If I'm lucky, I can get a nap, and that helps. It's almost like I'm in flight or fight mode, but the enemy I'm facing is an inability to stay awake. It becomes much worse in winter.

Years ago, I heard on NPR a study where they had people go to bed when it got dark and wake up when it was light. If the person woke up in the middle of the night, they were just to stay in bed. I gave it a shot. It's being winter, I was going to bed around 5 p.m. and getting up roughtly twelve hours later. That was the healthiest I've ever felt. But I had no life outside of work, and now, with children, it just wouldn't be possible. But my guess is that I need eight to ten hours of sleep, and I just don't get it.

It's at the point where it's almost unbearable. I feel like I'm in my nineties rather than my forties.

[puglogic]

I was chronically sleepy until I went through some changes.

I figured out that even though I was sleeping, I wasn't sleeping deeply because of various factors (light, noise, comfort, snoring, dogs, etc.) I had to do what I could to fix that.

And I wasn't sleeping enough. Others may be able to get by on 5 hours a night -- I need 8, sometimes 7. I had to make that happen.

When that still didn't work, because I sometimes suffer from insomnia, I started taking a 30-minute nap in the middle of the day. I plug a Yoga Nidra meditation into my headphones, set my clock to wake me in 30 minutes, and down I go.

Good luck, pcooley. Not enough sleep could be seriously harming your health, as well as your relationships and your happiness. It's worth doing whatever you can to make sure you get more sleep, even if it means big changes, setting boundaries, alternating nights you & your wife get to go to bed early, taking herbal sleep aids, or sleeping in and going running later on.

I'm pretty attached to my yoga nidra naps.... :D

[bunnys]

I wake up @ 5:30A so I have an hour to drink coffee and watch the news before I have to get ready for work.

I recently figured out that if I turn out the light btwn 9:30-45P I can be on board the Sleeptown Express by 10 and get a perfect night. This rarely happens.

You need to sleep in and find some other time to run. It appears your lack of sleep is negatively impacting your entire life, including your happiness.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Yea, I'm rested when I can sleep in to about 10 if need be (or at least 9). Unfortunately the world does not work that way (not when it takes me an hour just commuting it doesn't). And no I can't make myself go to bed early instead, it just doesnt' work, I just lie in bed and my sleep gets even more disturbed until I'm in full on insomnia if I do that.

[redfox]

Get tested for sleep apnea.

[larknm]

I say breainstorm about how to get more sleep or nothing will change. Brainstorm with others, like you're doing here, until you know you've got solutions worth trying. I used to be wildly sleep-deprived, and it took several adjustments over the years to get enough. Worth trying for.

[Florence]

Do you have to run so early? Perhaps you could sleep until time to get the children off to school or at least sleep from 10pm to 6am. And there is nothing wrong with a nap during the day. People all over the world stop for an afternoon siesta.

[sweetana3]

Paul, your kids are old enough to get themselves up, get ready for the day, and make breakfast. I suggest you set the second alarm for a time that would get you up for required activities and, if necessary, to supervise your kids final activities in the morning. There is nothing that says you have to wake up when the wife does. You ensure she can sleep in the evening and she can ensure you can sleep in the morning.

Your decision to get up at 4am is one big item within your control.

Routine helps a lot. I always read a few pages before turning off the light.

[Miss Cellane]

Why do you get up at 4? Is this necessary? If you really *have* to get up at 4, then I think you should plan a nap into each day's activities. Otherwise, you are deliberately choosing to get only 6 hours sleep a night. Some people can do fine on that, but most of us need a bit more.

But I'd consider either sleeping later, and taking your run later. Or working to get your children on the same sleep pattern as their parents--get them up at 4 or 5 am, and get them to bed by 8 pm.

[Rosemary]

Just two ways to solve this that I can see:
1. Consider things you might change that would make less sleep work for you. For myself, I know that when I eat a really pure diet of whole foods, 80% fruits and vegetables, I feel more energetic and don't need as much sleep. I also know that I simply need more sleep in the winter.
2. Figure out how to get more sleep. Either go to bed earlier or get up later or take a nap, if naps work for you.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Do you have to run so early? Perhaps you could sleep until time to get the children off to school or at least sleep from 10pm to 6am. And there is nothing wrong with a nap during the day. People all over the world stop for an afternoon siesta.

If I had to choose I would *definitely* prioritize sleep over exercise. Moderate exercise is healthy, but there is no doubt in my mind that sleep deprivation is far worse for health (and heck even weight) than exercise deprivation. Of course if you have time enough that it's not an either/or thing then moderate exercise helps sleep, but if I had to choose one ...

[loosechickens]

Boy, if you are going to bed at 10 and getting up at 4 a.m., no wonder you are sleepy much of the time.....if I go to bed at 10, it's at LEAST 7 a.m. before I wake up, plus I usually end up taking a nap in the afternoons.

It's nice to run early in the morning, but not at the cost of getting enough sleep.....lots and lots of health problems have their genesis in the body just not getting enough sleep.

It's making me sleepy, just thinking about it....... ;-)

[lhamo]

I have a similar schedule -- I get up at 4:30 so that I can leave the house for the bus at 5:30 most weekday mornings -- push that back by an hour when DH is travelling because I take a cab to work on those days and can leave later. In the winter I am often in bed by 8:00. Other seasons are a little better -- I managed to push it back to around 9:30-10:00 most nights this summer. But on stressful days or after a few days of only getting 6-7 hours of sleep I would often come home and fall asleep on the couch before dinner. Weekends I typically sleep anywhere from 7-10 hours/night, depending on how much sleep debt I have, and will usually have at least one long nap during the weekend.

Why does your wife get up so early? In my case it is because I have a horrible commute and am trying to beat the worst of rush hour traffic while also not spending a ton of money (cross town bus costs $.15 and takes just over an hour, including walking time to the bus stop, while a taxi takes only about 30 minutes but costs $6-7). This schedule also allows me to leave the office at 3 most days, which means I can work out before dinner when I get home, which is also important to me. Can't work out in the morning (gym doesn't open until 7:00 am) and if I work out after dinner I am too hyped to sleep well.

You might also want to revisit whether you really need to get the kids to sleep at their ages. I might be a totally slacker parents for doing so, but when my DH is travelling I will sometimes go to bed before my kids do. They're pretty good about going to bed at a decent hour on weeknights. They are only 7 and 11. I seem to remember your kids are older. Anyway, might be worth a try. Also letting them take more responsibility for getting up/getting ready in the morning might be in order, and would allow you to sleep longer.

Also agree that you should think about being checked for apnea. Thyroid stuff can also mess with your sleep. But in your case it sounds like you are just sleep deprived. Agree that the extra sleep is probably more important than the exercise. You might experiment with High Intensity Interval training or similar approaches to reduce the amount of time you spend on exercise and free up more time for sleep.

If you can post the details of your schedule, it might help us find other places to free up more time so that you can get more sleep. Are you spending a lot of time making breakfast, for example? That can be reduced in healthy ways. Similar with making dinner -- maybe you can do more bulk cooking or something and then find time to exercise in that late afternoon/early evening slot rather than in the morning.

Good luck working it out. Be good to yourself about this. You shouldn't feel 90.

lhamo

[Aqua Blue]

After I quit working and just let myself sleep as long as I wanted I found I need about 10 hours of sleep to feel at all rested. I think this is do to arthritis and chronic pain. I feel so much less crabby with that amount of sleep. I think you really need to figure out how to get it. Your kids seem old enough to me to be responsible for themselves. Also, just because your the stay at home parent and your wife is the breadwinner doesn't mean she shouldn't do anything in the day to day care of the children. Perhaps this is where she needs to step up to the plate and help at one end or the other.

[herisf]

If none of the above convinces you to get more sleep, think about this - since you are so sleep deprived right now, you are not a safe driver. Your reflexes are slower than they should be. Do you really want to be unsafe?

Long-term sleep deprivation has serious physical and mental health consequences. You need to schedule more time for sleep. Now I have recently diagnosed sleep apnea (most likely not your issue) and what I found when I started using my CPAP is that initially I was sleeping up to 9 or 10 hours per night. Now that it's been a month or so, I'm back to a more normal 8 to 9 hours a night. You will most likely find yourself sleeping a LOT when you allow yourself to rest more, but eventually you will adjust to what will become your normal period of rest. You just don't know as yet how many hours of sleep your body needs. Happy dreams.

[JaneV2.0]

Just two ways to solve this that I can see:
1. Consider things you might change that would make less sleep work for you. For myself, I know that when I eat a really pure diet of whole foods, 80% fruits and vegetables, I feel more energetic and don't need as much sleep. I also know that I simply need more sleep in the winter.
2. Figure out how to get more sleep. Either go to bed earlier or get up later or take a nap, if naps work for you.

I've found the same thing as Rosemary: that when I'm eating properly--which for me is some version of low-carb--I just naturally sleep less. I've never been one to skimp on sleep--I can't think of a more direct route to burnout, if not disaster. No need to be a martyr--see to it you get the sleep you need.

[Zoe Girl]

I also get up fairly early, about 5 am. I don't always have to get up and get moving but I am on-call starting about 6 am so I don't want to be totally unprepared in case I get a call. However i am adament about going to be by 930. I have kids and a job and take a class once a week, and I don't really exercise. If the week is going smoothly then I have a break in the middle of my days but am on call from 6 am to 6 pm, which is almost never an issue, which means if I am going to run it will be in the middle of the day, after I have showered and dressed nice, and before I need to go back to work again. Okay i do walk a lot with my work so I am not stuck at a desk all day. The point being that i had to make some decisions about what was really really important and what I just had to let go. I meditate daily, and some days I don't even get that. I cook real dinners, and I don't always do that. But nothing else, eating some fast food or not exercising or even not meditating, comes close to the effect of not getting enough sleep.

[fidgiegirl]

This story (http://minnesota.publicradio.org/features/npr.php?id=159983037) struck me as having some interesting ideas for better sleep. Bear through the dementia stuff toward the end. Hugs . . . I am also very cranky when too tired. It would be detrimental to my marriage if I were constantly overtired.

Let us know what you decide to try first.

[creaker]

Keep everything in mind when looking for what works. I've found when I get fatigued like that it's often just from me not staying hydrated enough. Or I've been eating in the evening again. But 6 hours sleep a night would not cut it for me, either.

[awakenedsoul]

From your post, it sounded like you felt better when you went to bed earlier. I am much sleepier this time of year and in the winter. I follow that inclination and go to bed earlier. Animals do this naturally. I used to have a pot bellied pig. I would feed her at 4:00 p.m. In the wintertime. After she finished her dinner, she'd go into her house and fall asleep. when it stayed light out later, she would forage and go to bed when it got dark. You're just following nature. Could the kids go to bed earlier? The hours before midnight that you sleep count more than the hours aftermidnight. Can you sleep until 6:00 a.m. That's what I would do. Your body is trying to tell you something.